Work Text:
"im, , ,im sorry" jane heard zen whisper, zen's face in her chest trying to breathe. che was standing at the edge of the building the three had ended up on, watching the clouds instead of looking at the two. jane knew who zen was. zen was laughing and the colour pink and clouds over a sun set. zen was her girlfriend, her best friend. zen along with che was what kept her going every day.
zen, however, was not mary apple 53. at least not anymore.
jane knew how shitty everything was, she had been forced to be mary apple 54 for a day or two, but she couldnt imagine how hard it was for zen. that didnt mean it didnt make her heart stop every time zen introduced herself as that. as mary apple 53.
jane knew che cared but he got distant every time one of the two slipped up, forgot for a moment that they were still a dirty computer. he hadnt really gone through what the two had but he wanted to help, jane knew that. the two had a conversation a couple nights prior talking about it even, but it still made her heart stop every time che wouldnt talk to zen until she returned back to normal.
"its okay, okay?" jane mumbled in zens ear, holding her tight trying to ignore che glancing back. jane was still trying to figure out who she was again. she was loud, she was angry, she was everything she wasnt supposed to be and more.
she, however, wasnt mary apple 54. she didnt even know if she could be jane 5782 anymore.
jane knew she had changed from her time getting 'cleaned'. she was nervous to do anything actually rebelious anymore, like someone could be watching at any moment. the touch of che and zen felt strange to her, like she was feeling it for the first time every time even though she had gotten some memories back. her heart still stopped every time she heard her name.
jane knew it was going to take a lot before her zen and che could go back to a sense of normal, whatever that would even mean, but she also knew she wasnt going to have to do it alone. che came over to sit next to her, taking her hand hesitantly.