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Claire stared wide-eyed and dumbfounded at Hamish as he stood before her in the Great Hall. All conversation had hushed at Hamish’s request, the quiet shuffling and scraping of the dinnerware as people pausing to listen. The hall was fairly empty, with the Gathering over, only those that resided within the castle grounds were in attendance in order to wait out the fierce storm that raged intermittently outside the castle windows. Because of the storm, Jamie, Old Alec, and Murtagh come from the stables to join the meal in the Great Hall.
Hamish waited, everyone waited, looking expectantly at Claire.
“I was not aware that ye had talents outside of healing, Mistress Beauchamp.” Colum leaned forward with interest. “Hamish has spoken of nothing else for many days, except for the grand tale ye told him and the other children.”
“Oh, it was nothing. Just an old folk tale from Oxfordshire.” Claire responded casually. Colum peered intently at Claire, watching her. The story had been Claire’s way of prolonging her reconnaissance of forest around Castle Leoch in her failed escape attempt. She was using the children to keep her jailers, Rupert and Angus, unaware of her planning. Once with the children, Rupert and Angus both apparently did not feel the need to follow them as they trudged through the woods gaily. Using the children as a means throw off her constant shadows was a moment of sheer opportunity, one Claire realized a week before the Gathering. Claire thought of that moment now as she gazed at Hamish.
She was never getting out of here, Claire thought for the 1000th time as she sat in the garden, pulling herbs for the Gathering she was unwilling having to prepare for. It was a rare day, the sun had decided to make an appearance, and shone brightly high overhead. There was a soft breeze, and for a moment Claire allowed herself to enjoy being outside. A cough and shuffle reminded her of Angus’ presence several yards away. Bored and annoyed, he slowly back up the steps towards the back kitchen entrance. Slinking away to drink, no doubt Claire thought as she picked at a Hawthorne plant. The silence and calm of the afternoon were soothing on Claire’s frazzled mind. Slowly she started to hum “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” Claire had always loved that song and seemed appropriate given her situation. Claire continued to hum the song as she worked and did not notice she was no longer alone.
As Claire stood and turned she was startled by young Hamish, who was standing silently directly behind her.
“Jesus H Roosevelt Christ!” Claire declared, the melody quickly forgotten as she clutched her herb basket tightly to herself. Hamish, surprise by both Claire’s response and language, took a half set back.
“Hamish! You startled me.” Claire stated breathlessly and smiled.
“Pardon, Mistress Claire. I didn’t mean to startle ye. I just came down from the kitchens…”
“What are you doing down here?” Claire asked as she waved her hand around the herb garden.
“Well, I was playing hide ‘n see, but I heard….well, I heard you singing. What was that song you singing?”
Claire ducked her head shyly. “I wasn’t singing. I was just humming a tune from my home.”
“I thought it might be so. I have never heard Gywlln play it or sing it, and I have heard all his songs.” Hamish announced proudly. “It’s a very bonny song. I like it.”
Claire’s smile widened at Hamish as he continued to speak. “Do you miss your home?”
Hamish’s question took Claire by surprise. She thought for a moment that perhaps Colum or Dougal had sent the boy to try to extract information from her, but she saw the honest and innocent look on Hamish’s face and knew.
“Yes. I miss it very much.” Claire said her voice growing thick with emotion as she shifted the basket in her hands to cover it a bit.
“And that is why you were humming the song…to remember your home??” Hamish asked openly, picking a cornflower bloom from its stem.
“Yes. I suppose.” Claire responded “The song is from a fairytale where I come from.”
“A fairytale! Really!? I love fairy tales. What’t it called?” Hamish asked expectantly.
“The Wizard of Oz.” Claire watched in amazement as young Hamish’s eyes grow wide with excitement and joy.
“Oh, please tell me the story! I have never heard about this one, and I have heard a braw many tales!” Hamish asked, hopping up and down excitedly. It was then that Claire realized the children could be a way to plan her escape from Castle Leoch, and the story of Dorothy Gale, Toto, and the Wicked Witch of the East was perhaps her opportunity.
Claire thought rather fondly of her time with the children as she sat in the great hall. It was not all the business of planning her escape, if she was being honest with herself. She genuinely liked the company of the children, for they had no guile, no ill-will, they just wanted to hear a story. In this time there was little time for adults to pay attention to the whims of children. Life was to short and too hard for many to even realize many of them did not come home for supper until it was too late. Claire’s thoughts drifted again back to those times as she told her rapt audience the story of the adventures of Dorothy in the land of Oz. How ironic that on so many occasions Claire felt like Dorothy. She remembered walking with the children, their giggles, their gasps, as Claire detailed all she could remember from the Technicolor movie she had watched when she was just a young teenager. She remembered seeing Jamie watching them as they passed the stables now and again, as Claire diverted her growing rabble of children in the direction she wanted to explore to develop her escape plan each day.
Pulled from her musings, Claire started to speak, but Hamish interrupted her by announcing to everyone in the Great Hall.
“It’s a grand tale, with wizards, and witches, munchkins, and a scarecrow, and a man made of….” Hamish announced excitedly. Claire took a large swig of the Rhenish wine in her glass.
“Well, don’t give it all the away, Hamish! Let Mistress Beauchamp tell it…” Letitia, Hamish’s mother, scolded, waving Hamish back to his seat.
“Munchkins? What kind of fairy folk be that?” Angus asked with a grimace and snort of ridicule.
“Will you tell us your folk tale, Mistress?” Colum asked curiously. Dougal, unimpressed by the display, continued to eat in silence, however others in the room appeared interested, including Jamie, who peered over his mug at Claire.
“I suppose I could.” Claire spoke quietly, drinking the rest of her wine down in a large gulp. With her escape attempt thwarted during the Gathering, she had to find other ways to get Colum to trust her. Perhaps a bit of entertainment wouldn’t hurt.
Claire rose from her spot and looked expectantly around the hall. Hamish had moved toward the large hearth and dexterously moved a chair in front of it so Claire could sit facing everyone. Claire watched as people slowly forgot their meals, and seemed intent on hearing a tale never heard before, turning on the benches to face her. Must be like when a new film came to the cinema, Claire thought. She felt like she was going up on stage, and in a way she was. She was going to have to perform this story to 35 grown adults. Hamish and a dozen other children rushed to sit at Claire’s feet, waiting for the story to start, although all of them had heard it before. Claire smiled at them, the young girls looking expectantly at her.
“Alright then…” Claire grinning as she rearranged her skirts and placed her hands flat on her skirts somewhat playfully.
“Make sure ye do the voices too, Mistress Beauchamp.” Hamish reminded Claire. Claire looked around as she watched a few eyebrows arch curiously and glances exchanged. Claire softly cleared her throat in embarrassment. “I’ll do my best.”
“And the songs too!” One of the younger girls, about seven, announced excitedly, clapping her hands softly, the other girls giggling with her.
“Songs? Ye sing, Mistress Beauchamp?” Colum asked with surprise. Claire could feel the blush blooming on her cheeks as she caught the Jamie’s cocky half-smile.
“Well, I wouldn’t call myself a chanteur grandiose…but the songs in my story are simple and easy. Much like a riddle with a bit of flare” Claire started explained, but was once again interrupted by Hamish.
“Oh no, Mistress Beauchamp doesn’t really sing, but aye, ‘tis the songs themselves. I’ve never heard anything like them….they are verra bonny.” Hamish explained to his father. Claire’s embarrassment increased tenfold.
“Alright. Alright. I’ll do it.” Claire rolled her eyes a bit. Hamish smiled and sat down in the front. Claire glanced around the room, watching, stopping on Dougal who was leaning back in his chair casually, returning Claire’s gaze. He had not forgotten their encounter in the hallway, and Claire’s response to his unwanted advances. Dougal absently rubbed the knot on the back of his head. Claire took a deep breath.
“Once upon a time, in a land far, far away….. and a few centuries from now, Claire thought…. there was a young girl named Dorothy. She lived on her family’s farm. Her family’s farm was suffering and her parents were considering sending her away. This made her very sad, because she would lose her only companion, her dog, Toto. Toto was a fiercely, loyal wee terrier. And Dorothy dreamt of the world far beyond her family’s farm. But one day, Dorothy has an unfortunate encounter with her snooty neighbor.”
There was a muffled “mmmpppfff” from Angus as he downed another mug of ale.
Claire rose from her seat and began to literally “perform” this scene and that. She graduated her voice to represent different family members on the farm. Many of the people in the hall laughed softly at her antics, but clearly they were entertained. The children laughed openly.
“Auntie Em! Mistress Gulch, that woman from farm out west, said she was going to come and get Toto because he was chasing her silly cat today!”
“Now Dorothy, I have too much to do today, I don’t have time to deal with such.”
“But he doesn’t do it every day, just…just, twice a week. And he can’t catch her that mean, old cat anyway.” Claire acted out a scene, and the castle folk, having long forgotten their meal, sat in rapt attention as Claire described Dorothy’s visit with the Hank, Hickory, and Zeke, the workers on the farm. Many of the people present chuckled, slapping their hands on the rough wood of the tables, at the names of the men, Claire forgetting that to change the names before she said them. Claire described Dorothy’s isolation and sadness, the confrontation with Mrs. Gulch, and Toto subsequent escape. As Claire spoke, as one of the younger girls, Mary, who was only four, climbed onto Claire’s lap. Claire smiled and wrapped her arms around the girl as she continued.
“And when Dorothy returned to her farm, Toto clutched in her arms. Her Auntie Em, having no idea that Dorothy had secured Toto’s release from the evil Mistress Gulch’s clutches, announced:
“Dorothy, you run along now and find yourself someplace to go where you won’t get yourself into any more trouble!” And as Dorothy shuffled off, sad and lonely. “Some place, where there isn’t any trouble...Do you suppose there is such a place Toto? There must be. It’s not a place you can get to by a ship or a horse...” Claire almost said train instead of horse, but she caught herself as she continued.
“It’s far, far away. Over the moon and over the rain….” Claire gazed wistfully up to the hall rafters. She glanced around, nervously. Claire caught the gaze of Jamie, who was listening attentively next to an equally intent Murtagh. Jamie gazed at Claire, his blue eyes seem to blaze. He knew of Claire’s escape attempt. And Claire was aware of a shift in their relationship, a strengthening of their friendship. She had put his life in danger by rousing him from his hiding spot in the stables because of her thwarted escaped. Claire glanced away and looked at the children waiting expectantly for the song. Clearing her throat slightly.
“And as Dorothy wandered about thinking about a place where she wouldn’t get any trouble…she started to sing…
Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow why, oh, why can't I?”
As Claire finished her passable sing-song version of the Judy Garland song, she looked around and many in the hall were staring wide eyed at Claire. She wasn’t sure of if they were appalled or delighted at her little song. The children seemed to enjoy it. Claire looked at Jamie who was smiling sweetly, a half smile cocked on his face. Claire caught Angus and Rupert who looked at each other, then slowly started to softly applaud. Slowly the applause grew louder. Claire scanned the room watching the smiling faces of people of Castle Leoch, finally landing on Colum and Letitia.
“It seems you have yet another gift, Mistress Beauchamp.” Column announced as the applause in the Great Hall subsided.
“Oh no, I wouldn’t say that.” Claire responded, still holding little Mary in her lap. Colum scoffed “Well, I wouldn’t replace the Welshman for you, but your efforts are commendable. Please, continue your tale….as you can see you have captured our attention.” Colum gestured to the assembled group that seemed to have grown. The maids and cooks, including Mrs. Fitz, from the kitchen had wandered out at the applause.
Jamie listened as Claire “sang” the strange but lovely melody to all of them. She wasn’t really singing the song, but the tone and tempo of the song was so curious and pleasant that it did not matter if she was crowing it. Jamie felt a tightness in his chest as he watched Claire hold the wee girl in her lap. He glanced to Murtagh who was looking at Jamie with an unknown glimmer in his eye. Jamie looked away a bit embarrassed. All of this went unseen by the object of his adoration, who was currently blushing slightly as Colum asked her to continue. Yes, please continue, Jamie thought.
“Then suddenly the weather turned and a great storm formed over the farm and Dorothy. Dorothy ran to her home. But the wind picked up and blew all around, soon the sky was black as night and Dorothy had lost her way. When she finally reached the farm, her family was gone…all of them hiding deep under the ground to avoid the fierce winds and flying debris.” Claire spoke in a modulated tone, making whooshing sounds describing the house being picked up by the storm and flying through the air.
“The wind turned around and around and went up and up. It was in the center of the great wind where the North and South winds met. The winds pushed the house higher and higher. The great wind carried the house over the land for miles and miles. Many hours went by. It grew very dark and the wind went on making its terrible roaring sound. At last Dorothy lay down on her bed with Toto beside her. She closed her eyes and she was soon fast asleep. Hours later, Dorothy was woken up by a hard bump. Boom!”
Claire shouted and re-enacted the act of falling into her chair. Everyone gasped since they all seemed to be holding their breath as Claire described the terrible wind.
“Everything had gone still. The house had stopped turning and bright sunshine filled the room with light. Dorothy jumped down from her bed and ran to the door. When she opened it, she gave a cry of surprise. She was not looking at the gray land of her home anymore. The house was in a beautiful country that was covered with green grass and tall trees. There were flowers of every color in the grass and the trees were full of delicious fruit. Birds sang and there was a little stream of clear water.”
“Sounds like Scotland, lass!” Rupert shouted as the hall erupted in cheers of agreement. Claire smiled and could not disagree based on her description.
"Then Dorothy cried “How different this country is from home! I have never seen such a beautiful place. Where am I? And how did I get here?"
At that moment, Dorothy saw some people coming towards her. The people were small, but they were not children. The three men had beards and the woman's hair was white. They were all very strangely dressed. They wore blue hats that were tall and pointed. The men were all dressed in blue, but the little woman was dressed in white.
"Welcome to the Land of the Munchkins," the woman said.” Claire spoke in a high voice
"Thank you for killing the Wicked Witch of the East. You must be a witch too. You have killed her with your magic and now we are free. Thank you."
Dorothy was very surprised. She had no magic and she had never killed anyone in her life.
"You have made a mistake," Dorothy replied. "I am just a girl, not a witch. I have not killed anyone."
"Well, then your house killed her. It fell on top of her," said the little woman with a laugh. "Look, you can see the legs of the Wicked Witch sticking out from under the house. You can see her red slippers." Claire continued to change her voice this way and that. Her audience seemed entranced as she told her story.
“Then suddenly a bright light shone and a beautiful woman appeared. Dorothy was scared, but the woman did not seem to want to hurt her.
“I am Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, my dear. I am the Munchkins' friend and now yours too." Dorothy was very surprised. "I thought that all witches were wicked and ugly," she said slowly.
"No, that's not true," Glinda replied. "There were four witches in the Land of Oz—two were good and two were bad. But now, thanks to you, there is only one wicked witch—the Wicked Witch of the West.”
"Well I am a girl and I live with my aunt and uncle," Dorothy replied. "Well, I used to live with them," she went on sadly. "I was carried here by the great wind and now I want to home. Can you help me?" The Good Witch shook her head.
"You must go to the Emerald City," Glinda said. "The Great Wizard of Oz lives there. He may be able to help you."
"How do I get to the Emerald City? Is it a long way? Will you come with me?" Dorothy asked.
"You must follow the yellow brick road," the Good Witch replied.
“Follow the yellow brick road?” And then Dorothy gazed upon a grand road paved with golden bricks that stretched for a far as the eye could see.”
Claire set Mary down on the floor and stood up, once again re-acting the images from the movie she had seen years before. She hunched over in a menacing pose as she crept about the hall.
“Sudden there was a green great fire and smoke, and everyone scattered from the foul stench. Out of the smoke came a hideous creature, a woman with a face long and pointed, with the deep green complexion of a Scottish moor in summer, and great pointed nose with a wart right on the end.”
“Sounds like the last lass ye bedded, Rupert!” Angus joked as he was shoved about by Rupert. Everyone laughed.
“Her fingers were like claws and she carried a wicked broom she flew upon. Dorothy was very frightened and moved closer to Glenda for protection.
“Who is that?” Dorothy cried.
“That is the Wicked Witch of the West. She’s worse than the other one!” Glinda explained softly to Dorothy. The evil witch walked menacingly toward Dorothy.
“Who killed my sister? Who killed the witch of the east? Was it you?”
Claire pointed at Hamish, who back away from Claire’s cackling tone.
“Leaver her be!” Glenda declared to the evil witch.
“So it was you, was it? You killed her!”
“No no, it was an accident! I didn’t mean to kill any one!” Dorothy cried. “I really didn’t!”
The witch of the east narrowed her eyes at Dorothy “Oh, you didn’t mean it, did you? An accident you say? Well, my pretty, I can cause accidents too!” Dorothy shrank back in fear as the evil witch moved toward her. Just then Glinda, the good witch, reminded the evil witch of her sister’s red slippers.
“Aren’t you forgetting the ruby slippers?”
Realization flashed before the evil witch’s eyes, “The slippers! Yes, the slippers!”
As the evil witch approached, the slippers vanished. “The slippers! They’re gone! Given them back or I’ll…”
“It’s too late! They’re they are and they’re the will stay!” announced Glinda as she motioned down at Dorothy’s feet, where the jeweled ruby slippers now resided.
“Give me those slippers! I am the only one who knows how to use them!” the evil witch stated to Dorothy.
“Keep tight inside them. Their magic must be very powerful or she wouldn’t want them so badly.” Glinda advised frightened Dorothy.
“You stay out of this Glinda, or I’ll get you as well!”
Glinda just laughed at the threat “Oh, rubbish, you have no power here! Be gone before a house falls on you!”
The hall erupted in laughter. Seems that joke was good across centuries, Claire thought. Claire continued.
“Very well, I’ll bid my time…But as for you my fine lady, you just try to stay out of my way, just try. I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!” Claire cackled and laughed evilly straight at Laoghaire, who cowered a bit, but laughed when Claire winked at her.
“I am afraid you’ve made a very bad enemy of the wicked witch of the west, my dear. Best be off to the wizard.” And with that Dorothy started down the yellow brick road.
Claire gathered the children up off the floor and started to dance about hold their hands as they weaved about. Others joined in, the scullery maids, Mrs. Fitz, Rupert, Angus, Jamie. Laoghaire laughed and joined in as well, everyone clapped and started to repeat the lyrics as Claire spoke/sang laughing joyously at the fun melody.
Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road
Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the yellow-brick road
Ohhhhhh….We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz
We hear he is a Whiz of a Wiz if ever a Wiz there was
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does
We’re off to see the wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Ozzzzz!
Claire was a bit breathless as the song died down. Everyone was laughing and standing about. Claire was unsure how to continue on, but Colum decided for her.
“Mistress Beauchamp you must continue your story for us tomorrow evening, as alas the hour grows late, and I fear your story will keep us all up most of the night.” A collective groan from the children, and not a few adults, soured the mood a bit. But Claire had to acknowledge that the story had taken almost a three days to tell to her rabble of children.
Claire felt a sense of happiness she had not felt in many weeks. She was so immersed in her thoughts, she did not notice Jamie’s approach from behind. Claire turned quite suddenly, running straight in a wall named Jamie. Claire gasped in shock, but Jamie’s hands came up to lightly embrace her arms to steady Claire.
“Mr. McTavish! I frightened me!” Claire stated a bit nervously.
“I’m sorry. I just wanted to tell you….you were…that was a grand tale, Mistress Beauchamp.”
“After such an animated performance, one would think I was great actress absconded from the theatres of London or Paris.” Claire smiled, however Jamie looked a bit unnerved by the comment. Claire suddenly realized that in this time “actresses” were often mistresses and courtesans as well. To be called an actress was synonymous to both. Claire decided to ignore her faux pas, moving on.
“Well, there is much more to come….you will be here tomorrow evening to hear the rest?” Claire asked expectantly. Jamie gave that half-cocked smile that was uniquely his.
“You may rely on it.” With that Jamie bowed slightly, and back away slowly, holding eye contact with Claire a bit longer than needed. Claire could not deny she felt a slight tightening in her chest as he left, watching as he glanced over his shoulder once more at her as Jamie turned the corner to exit the hall.
Chapter 2
The next evening, Claire was unable to eat in the great hall. A young man had broken his arm in the armory and she was forced to set it so it would heal properly. Claire walked into the kitchen, and was met by Mrs. Fitz.
“Oh my dear! Thank goodness you are here. I wasn’t sure you were going to come.” Mrs. Fitz fired off in rapid succession to Claire, who was a bit confused by her concern.
“Here, I kept a plate for you. Quick eat, himself and the others are waitin’ fer ye.” Mrs. Fitz placed the platter of food in front of Claire.
“I’m sorry. Why is Colum waiting for me?” Claire asked warily, glancing at the food and watching Mrs. Fitz pour a glass of wine for Claire.
“For the rest of yer tale, lass! Its been all that everyone has talkin’ about.” Mrs. Fitz laughed and smiled. Claire remembered last night and grimaced a bit. She felt a bit embarrassed by the attention. She was never one who enjoyed the spotlight. Wallflower, that is what Claire always thought. Much like Uncle Lamb’s shelves of books, she had learned to fade into the background. But here, in the place and time, she seemed to stick out like a sore thumb. It’s as if they could all sense she was different from them, like a unique scent she gave off without knowing it.
Claire finished her plate of food, and slowly rose, filling her wine glass once again. Taking a deep breath, she started for the hallway that connected to the great hall. As she entered, her mouth fell open a bit. The tables had been pushed along the wall, and the benches where lined up in a chevron pattern. A walkway was subsequently formed that pointed to the large hearth. Claire moved up the walkway, toward the chair waiting in front of the hearth. The children were once again seated at the foot of the chair, but however this time Angus and Rupert occupied the front row benches. As Claire reached the chair, she noticed a velvet cushion had been placed on the seat. Claire smiled, and glanced back at Hamish who smiled widely.
Claire sat down, smoothing her skirts, and smiled playfully at the children and her audience. “So! Where were we?”
“We were in the Land of the Munchkins!” Hamish shouted.
“Dorothy has ruby slippers!” Mary announced happily.
“We were off to see the wizard of Oz!” Came a decidedly deeper voice from beyond the group of children. Rupert turned several shades of red as he took a great gulp of ale from his mug. Claire’s eyebrow arched knowingly. So they want to join into the festivities, Claire thought, alright, I know just what to do.
“As Dorothy left the munchkins, she and Toto were all alone. The yellow brick road seemed to go on and on forever. Soon, Dorothy sat down to rest. There was a big hayfield by the side of the road. In the middle of the field was a life-sized doll made to look like a man, stuffed with straw, fixed onto a pole.
The Scarecrow's head was made from a sack and he had two painted blue eyes, a nose, and a mouth.
Dorothy looked at the doll and smiled.
"We have these back home too," she said. "We call them Scarecrows because they scare the crows and stop them eating the wheat."
“I should get me one of those to scare away you two from me kitchen during the day” Mrs. Fitz crowed at Angus and Rupert as she brought out special puddings for the evening. Murtagh laughed, but made a sound of appreciation as the sweets were passed to Jamie and him. Each took several, stuffing the extras in their coat pockets. He looked at each other conspiratorially.
"That's right," the Scarecrow said.
Dorothy looked at the Scarecrow in surprise.
"But our scarecrows back home don't talk," she said.
"I don't talk much," the Scarecrow replied. "I'm standing here because I can't get down. The crows are not scared of me. They have brains and I don't."
"Oh dear," Dorothy said kindly. "Perhaps I can help you."
She stood up and lifted the Scarecrow down from the pole. He was dressed like a Munchkin, in blue clothes.
"My name is Dorothy. I am going to the Emerald City because I want to go home." Dorothy looked at the fork in the road with uncertainty. “But I am not sure which way to go. Do you know the way to the Emerald City?”
“That way” The straw man pointed, Dorothy smiled and started down the way.
“But that way is also very nice.” The scarecrow man pointed in the opposite direction.
“Well which way is it? Can’t you make up your mind?” Dorothy asked.
Claire looked at Rupert shrewdly. Jamie noticed this and nudged Murtagh, pointing shyly as Claire continued in a silly voice
“That’s the problem, I don’t have one. All straw. I don’t even know how to scare! I couldn’t even scare you! If only I had a brain, I would…I would…”
Claire leapt up and waved back a forth like she was a made of less than sturdy material, swerving this way and that. The children giggled at her animated performance. Claire walked over to Rupert and Angus as she started her song, the words soon revealing why.
I could while away the hours, conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain.
And my head I'd be scratchin' while
my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.
Claire annunciated the word brain dramatically so everyone could clearly see who she was implying didn’t have a brain. Jamie and others laughed heartily and slapped the seat next to him in joyous response to Claire started to tease both Rupert and Angus. Even Dougal was inclined to shout with agreement as the song continued.
I'd unravel every riddle for any individ'le,
In trouble or in pain.
Oh, I could tell you why The ocean's near the shore.
I could think of things I never thunk before.
And then I'd sit, and think some more.
I would not be just a nothin' my head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry, life would be a ding-a-derry,
If I only had a brain.
Everyone cheered as Claire re-took her seat, a knowing look of challenge on her face at Rupert and Angus, who soon were cheering as well in amusement.
“Lassies don’t need brains, they need…” Rupert started to shout, but several crusts of bread were thrown his way to silence is ribald comment. Claire laughed and continued.
“You know, I am going to the Emerald City to see the Great Wizard of Oz.” Dorothy explained to the straw man.
"Do you think that this wizard he could give me some brains?" asked the Scarecrow.
"I don't know," Dorothy replied. "Why don't you come with me and ask him?"
"Thank you," the Scarecrow said. "That is a good idea."
As they began to walk, Toto barked at the Scarecrow. The little dog had never seen a straw man before.
"Don't be afraid. Toto won't bite you," Dorothy said.
"I'm not afraid," the Scarecrow replied. "I'm only afraid of one thing."
"What is that?" asked Dorothy.
"Fire," the Scarecrow replied, fluffing the straw sticking out from under his hat.
The scarecrow and Dorothy walked a long way and soon Dorothy was very thirsty and hungry. They continued on along the yellow brick road and came to a stream in an apple orchard. And just as Dorothy picked a long hanging apple from the tree, it came to life, slapping the apple from her hand.
“What do you think you're doing?” The tree yelled. Dorothy was very surprised that the tree was talking to her. No yelling at her!
“We’'ve been walking a long way and I was hungry and… “
The tree was not impressed and proclaimed to his fellow trees.
“She was hungry! Well, how would you like to have someone come along and pick something off
of you?”
Dorothy felt bad about hurting the tree. “Oh, dear, I keep forgetting I'm at home.”
The scarecrow gallantly came to her rescue. “Come along, Dorothy, you don't want any of those apples. Hmm!”
The tree was not happy with what the scarecrow was implying. “ What do you mean she doesn't want any of those apples? Are you suggesting I’m are not what they are supposed to be?”
The scarecrow laughed “Oh no, I was just thinking she doesn’t want apples filled with little green worms, is all.” And with that the trees started to throw apples at Dorothy and the scarecrow. As Dorothy dashes this way and that to avoid the apples she discovers a man!
Rupert and Angus nudge each other knowingly. Claire rolls her eyes.
A man made of metal! It is a magically light metal called tin. However it does have a drawback. It can’t withstand being in the rain.
“It’s a man made out of tin!” Dorothy exclaimed!
Soon muffled sounds came from the man. And Dorothy being a smart and clever girl saw the oil can on the ground. A few drops of oil and soon the tin man was moving about happily.
“Oh it feels wonderful to move about. I've held that axe up for ages.” The tin man signed with joy.
“Goodness! How did you ever get like this?” Dorothy asked.
“I came into the forest looking for a tree I could cut that would make room for young new trees to
grow. I walk in the woods all the time, so I know each and every tree, like old friends. I finally
picked out a tree that was dying from disease. I started cutting it, when suddenly it began to rain… and right in the middle of a chop, I rusted solid” The tin man explained
“Well, you're perfect now.” Dorothy exclaimed.
“Perfect? Oh bang on my chest if you think I'm perfect. Go ahead, bang on it!” The tin man said as he pointed to his great barrel chest. Dorothy banged on it and echo sounding.
“It’s hollow!” She shouts.
“Beautiful! What an echo!’ The scarecrow announced.
“It's empty. My maker forgot to give me a heart.”
Claire shifted in her seat and looked pointedly at Dougal. Rupert and Angus, seeing this pointed at Dougal’s sour expression at being the butt of Claire’s implication. They were just glad neither one of them were the target this time. Murtagh laughed openly, Jamie giggled as he filled his mug one more time. Claire swiftly turned and started the song “if I only had a heart” smiling a Dougal, clapping her hands. Everyone laughed, even Dougal nodded in merriment.
When a man's an empty kettle he should be on his mettle,
And yet I'm torn apart.
Just because I'm presumin' that I could be kind-a-human,
If I only had heart.
I'd be tender - I'd be gentle and awful sentimental
Regarding Love and Art.
I'd be friends with the sparrows ... and the boys who shoots the arrows
If I only had a heart.
Picture me - a balcony. Above a voice sings low.
Wherefore art thou, Romeo?
I hear a beat....How sweet.
Just to register emotion, jealousy - devotion,
And really feel the part.
I could stay young and chipper and I'd lock it with a zipper, If I only had a heart.
“You know we were just wondering why you couldn't come to Emerald City with us to ask the Wizard of Oz for a heart.” Dorothy explained to the tin man.
“Emerald City? Why, that's a long and dangerous journey. And it might rain on the way.” The tin man advised cautiously.
“But you've just been saying how much you want a heart.” Dorothy countered.
“Well, suppose the Wizard wouldn't get me one when we got there?” the Tin man asked hopefully.
“Oh, but he will! He must! We've come such a long way already.” Dorothy assured the nervous man made of metal.
Soon they were back on the yellow brick road, Dorothy, The Scarecrow, and The Tin Man, and they found themselves in a dark and frightful forest. The walked fearfully forward.
“Lions & Tiger & Bears, oh my!”
“Lions & Tiger & Bears, oh my!”
“Lions & Tiger & Bears, oh my!”
Claire repeated the words over and over, the children clutching each other at the scariness of the moment.
Suddenly a great beast, a lion, charged from the trees onto the yellow brick road, snarling and snapping. It chased them about and went after poor Toto. Dorothy bravely defended Toto and smacked the great beast on the nose to get him away from her dog. The beast surprised at Dorothy’s actions suddenly started to cry.
“What -- what did you do that for? I didn't bite him.” The lion sobbed.
“No, but you tried to. It's bad enough picking on a straw man, but when you go around picking on poor little dogs…”
“Well, you didn't have to go and hit me, did you? Is my nose bleeding?” The Lion cried louder
“Well, of course not. My goodness, what a fuss you're making. Well, naturally, when you go around picking on things weaker than you are -- Why, you're nothing but a great big coward!” Dorothy shamefully announced.
“You're right -- I am a coward.” The Lion sobbed again. “I haven't any courage at all. I even scare myself.”
“Oh, that's too bad. Don't you think the Wizard could help him, too?” The scarecrow asked Dorothy.
“I don't see why not. Why don't you come along with us? We're on our way to see the Wizard now. To get him a heart” Dorothy explained, pointing to the tin man.
“And him a brain.” The tin man stated pointing to the scarecrow.
“I'm sure he could give you some courage” Dorothy explained.
And soon, Claire worked and weaved the remainder of the story. She told of their run through the poppies and how water melted the witch. The people in the hall were entranced by her story, none more so than Jamie. It was not lost on Murtagh that his young charge was desired with the comely Mistress Beauchamp. It did not bode well either that their relationship had changed somewhat since after the Gathering. Murtagh was not blind, he saw the longing looks from Jamie and the hitch in his breath whenever Claire entered the room. Murtagh was well aware of what those feelings could lead to; joy or heartbreak.
As Claire finished her story her voice took on a more wistful tone, as if she was not talking about Dorothy, but perhaps of herself, Jamie thought.
As Dorothy clicked her heels three times, she whispered, There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home……
Claire finished the story a few moments later, almost sad and pensive. The hall erupted in great applause, but Claire had closed her eyes softly, as if remembering. Jamie watched as a single tear escaped the corner of her eye. No one else saw, but he did. He watched her wipe the tear away. How he wished, how he hoped….perhaps one day he would have someone like her to cry with sadness at his passing. Some day, Jamie thought, perhaps some day.