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pavane for a dead princess

Summary:

It's been two hundred and thirty seven days since Myoui Mina died and Im Nayeon just can't seem to let her go.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter Text

This story is a tragedy. 

 

Nayeon supposed she should have listened to Mina more. She had always just been so stubborn, and for some reason Mina had always put up with it. When they first got married Mina had held her one night and said they should get a small house, something cozy and quaint. But Nayeon was an Im. She had put up such a fight about that one that Mina just sighed and let her pick out their house and everything that went along with it. 

 

And now she had a suffocatingly huge house to come home alone to every night. 

 

Her entire body ached as she stepped foot into the house, her expensive Louboutin heels thrown carelessly onto the shoe rack next to the door. It didn’t look out of place though, all of Nayeon’s shoes were strewn about the front entrance, piled together or flipped from where she just tossed them. Her coat almost met the same fate as she tossed it onto the cast iron coat rack that stood guard next to the shoe rack, but by some miracle it caught and was held up neatly. The pittering of small paws excitedly making their way towards her on the ebony flooring was the only thing that made her feel a bit at ease. 

 

Kookeu barked and jumped at her feet happily, pawing her leg for attention that she would happily give him. Her mother had recently taken him to get a trim, getting rid of his regal coat for something a bit more short and chunky looking. Maybe Nayeon should put him on a diet. She crouched down to let the excited dog, letting out a light laugh when he started to lick her chin in affection. The sound sounded harsh and unnatural to her own ears. Rey didn’t greet her, he hadn’t greeted her in months instead he just laid down in front of the door, ears flat on his head. He was waiting for someone who would never come back. 

 

(Nayeon was too.)

 

She learned the hard way he wouldn’t leave unless she made him. When he first started to wait she just let him, dogs after all grieve too, but he wouldn't eat just laid there and waited so she was forced to. After gently picking him up and tucking him under her arm, she made her way through the living room. 

 

Nothing had been changed since she left. The Greek statues and art still decorated the living room, resting in a ceiling high white bookshelf that Nayeon had built just for Mina. She remembers that day so clearly, Mina had left for work and Nayeon had decided she was going to build it all by herself, but two hours into the project she had to call Jeongyeon cue lots of teasing and a near murder but they got the job done. The bookshelf was still overflowing with books, all of which were old and frayed but Mina still cherished and read on the couch with a small smile as she learned about mythology from a time far passed. Nayeon used to cry every time she saw the room with no Mina curled up on the couch, the TV playing softly in the background with her baby blue fluffy blanket that she absolutely adored and Rey resting on her lap. She doesn’t cry anymore, but it still hurts just the same. 

 

She walked into the kitchen and set Ray down, pulling out the container of dog kibble and scooping out the right amounts for both the boys; a fourth a cup for each. She looked at it for a moment and added a bit more food, she’d rather have them a bit too plump then hungry. She set the bowls down on the ground and stood back as they started to eat. It was quiet. 

 

Slowly she pulled a box of cereal out from its place in the cabinet, and also pulled down a bowl ignoring the blue one with orange fish painted into it that Mina loved. She set the bowl down on the counter and poured her milk then cereal, sitting in one of the tall stools, looking out into the empty house.

 

Inside her bag were a multitude of files waiting for her to work on, deals that needed to be completed soon but she couldn’t stay late at the office because the dogs still needed to eat. Mina always hated it when she brought work home, pouting as she sat next to her and laid her head on her shoulder. The dogs finished eating and started their usual activities, Kookeu would climb on top of the couch, laying down on Mina’s blue blanket, Ray would make his way upstairs and lay in his bed that Nayeon laid out one of Mina’s shirts in. He was missing her badly. The other day he barked at one of her pictures and pawed at it, it took everything in her not to fall apart. 

 

She cleaned her bowl, threw it into the dishwasher. Walking through the living room, and up dark oak stairs Kookeu started following. 

 

Nayeon built Mina a library. It was on the second floor of the house, tucked away in the east wing. After the bookshelf incident in the living room, she had simply resolved to buying dark oak bookshelves with that antique style Mina had loved so much. While Mina was at work one day, she took the day off filling it with all the worn books that lived in boxes in the attic that Mina had nowhere to store, she set up a small desk and couch, along with mounting a few of her classical guitars on the wall. 

 

Mina had come home, a smile on her face as Nayeon ushered her upstairs giggling as the dogs happily ran around their feet. Nayeon watched as her eyes filled with tears as she saw the room, turning back to Nayeon with her mouth open. She remembers the warmth Mina surrounded her with as her wife dove into her arms, thanking her for everything. 

 

The library was dark and dusty now. However Nayeon found herself in there late into the night when she couldn’t sleep, pulling one of the guitars off the wall and sitting down in Mina’s chair. 

 

The guitar felt weird in her hands, it had for nearly nine months now. Still she set it up and started strumming a familiar tune, Pavane for a dead princess. That was Mina’s favorite piece. She’d tap her foot along as Nayeon strummed away, reading with a smile on her face. 

 

Sometimes when she’d play, she would close her eyes and imagine Mina was still there. Just listening to her play as the dogs laid in their little bed Mina had set up near the couch, sunlight peeking through the window leaving pools of sunlight on the ground. Sometimes she swore she could hear Mina still humming along, the pages of whatever she was reading turning. 

 

But eventually Nayeon had to open her eyes, and would be greeted by a dark empty room. 

 

Nayeon met Mina their freshman year of college, running in late to the first day of their English 101 class. There was only one open seat, and Nayeon couldn’t have been more thankful for the person occupying it to not be some grumpy guy who thought he was too good for a simple pre requisite class. 

 

She sat down right as the professor started speaking, fumbling over herself to try and take her notebook and pencil out. Seoul National University, the best college in the country and also a university that Nayeon’s father had made numerous generous donations throughout the years too. She was to study business and she was to be the best. An Im is always the best. 

 

Where the fuck was her pencil? She swore she put a pencil in here earlier. 

 

“Here, I have an extra.” A soft voice whispered over to her as the Professor started talking. Nayeon paused, looking up at the blonde who held out the brown pencil in her direction. 

 

She was pretty. Really pretty. With long blonde hair and gentle smile, looking absolutely ethereal in just a white T-Shirt and cream colored sweater vest and circular glasses on her face. It almost felt like Nayeon was caught in a tractor beam, completely paralyzed and being compelled towards this force. It was absolutely thrilling and absolutely terrifying at the same time. 

 

Setting her backpack on the ground, Nayeon took the pencil, rubbing her fingers over the smooth surface. An recycled titandonga pencil, interesting. “Thanks.”

 

“No problem.” The girl shrugged, “You look a bit stressed.”

 

She was. Her mother had called and bitched to her for nearly four hours the night prior, she hated her roommate Jeongyeon, and there was this suffocating feeling steadily building in her chest. It’s been there for years, but this whole going away to university thing has really been messing with her. Still, she wasn’t weak. She could deal with it, she didn’t need the girl’s pity. 

 

She was strong. She was an Im. 

 

Strangely, the girl’s eyes held no judgement, just a simple curiosity. Beside herself, Nayeon found herself shrugging, “Rough morning.”

 

That was the truth, because Jeongyeon decided she wanted to watch Lord of The Rings on max volume at nearly seven in the morning unprovoked. The girl chuckled, “I feel that. The girl next door was watching a movie wicked early and woke me up.”

 

“That’s my idiot of a roommate.”

 

“Wow, good luck with that.” The girl chuckled, and it sounded like the greatest symphony, “I’m Mina by the way.”

 

“Nayeon.” Nayeon smiled. 

 

“What’s your major?”

 

“Business, yours?”

 

“Greek studies.”

 

“Like Percy Jackson?”

 

“Kinda.” Mina giggled, “It’s a bit more than that.” 

 

“Maybe you should show me sometime.”

 

“Maybe I should.”

 

 

“Ms.Im I got that report you were asking for.” 

 

Not taking her eyes off her paper, Nayeon nodded and motioned for her to set it down. Chou Tzuyu was nice, one of the best interns she had in awhile. She was smart, competent, and very independent, all traits Nayeon appreciated. She heard the file get set down on her desk. But no footsteps away, with a sigh she looked up, frowning at the concerned look on her face. “What?”

 

“Do you want some coffee?” Tzuyu asked, her eyes drifting over Nayeon’s appearance. Sure her blouse and pants were ironed to perfection, and her hair was perfectly kept like it always was, but she knew her face was what was concerning Tzuyu. Heavy bags littered her under eyes, her cheeks were gaunt. She looked like a mess. Tzuyu was just kind enough not to say it that way. 

 

“Sure.” Nayeon hummed, setting down her pen and grabbed her purse, taking out her wallet. She retrieved her debit card and handed it to Tzuyu, “Get yourself something too.”

 

“It’s okay-“

 

“No really. Run down to that little café down the street and pick something up for us, it’s my treat.”

 

Tzuyu was quiet. Taking the card into her hands, before looking over at the wilting flowers in a small vase on Nayeon’s desk. She really needed to replace them sometimes. The intern let her fingers gently brush the petal, “What type of flowers are these?”

 

“Hyacinths.” Nayeon hummed looking over at the flowers, “I forgot, you’re into flower language these days.”

 

“Yeah, I haven’t seen these before though.”

 

“According to legend the god Apollo fell in love with a mortal, and he taught him all sorts of things. One day he was teaching his lover how to play some game that included a disk,” Mina had once told her what the name of it was, but she had forgotten. She wishes she hadn’t. “And he threw the disk as hard as he could, and his lover went to retrieve it. The disk ended up bouncing off the ground and hitting his lover in the head, killing him. Apollo wept as he held his dead body, and from his lover’s blood grew these.” She motioned to the flowers, “They mean devotion, but they can also mean sorrow, or an apology.”

 

Tzuyu was quiet, looking at the flowers for a long time. Her eyes briefly flickered to the wedding picture on Nayeon’s desk. Tzuyu wasn’t a talker, Nayeon appreciated that because if she was she might have not been able to keep it together for as long as she had. 

 

Instead Tzuyu held the card up, “Caramel Macchiato?”

 

“Of course.”

 

She watched her leave and grabbed the report off her desk, double checking if it was correct. She had to check twice to make sure it was right before setting it back down on her desk and resuming her work. 

 

 

Mina had a sister. 

 

Sana was always an enigma, loud and overbearing always tugging around her “roommate”. Never for a second had Nayeon ever doubted Sana’s love for Mina, the stereotypical protective older sibling yet being a complete and utter sweetheart. Sana owned a bakery, where she would bring little treats and sweets from time to time over their house for no reason other than just because she wanted to. 

 

She had expected Sana to distance herself after Mina- she expected her to distance herself. Sana needed time to grieve like Nayeon did, but for some reason she just stuck around. 

 

Kicking off her heels into the messy pile, she thought it was a bit strange when only Kookeu ran up to her. But then she heard laughter coming from her kitchen, and whatever semblance of a smile she had from greeting the dog faded, as she stood up and walked through the living room. And there she was, laughing as she stirred a bowl of something, Nayeon had a good feeling it was brownies. Momo was holding Ray, his tail was wagging as she bounced around with him joking around to Click Me by Zion T playing on Sana’s phone. 

 

“Oh, you’re home early.” Sana hummed, looking up at her. She had tried to tell Mina that giving Sana a key to their place was a bad idea, but Mina refused saying what if something happened and Sana needed to get in. The key was supposed to be for emergencies, not brownies. 

 

Nayeon shrugged, setting her bag down and taking out the kibble. She scooped two bowls for the dogs and set it down, watching as the dogs scrambled to eat. “You guys okay?”

 

“You haven’t answered my texts in a few days.” Sana’s tone was pointed, but she didn’t look up at her. Simply focusing on putting the brownie batter into a pan. “We thought we’d come up here and check on you.”

 

“Knowing you, you probably have only been eating cereal the past couple of days.” Momo chimed in. Okay, she was right. But Nayeon wouldn’t let her know that. “We brought some food over, it’s in the fridge. It should last you a week or so.”

 

“Thanks.” Nayeon frowned, looking at the mess in her kitchen. You would think for a baker, Sana would be a bit cleaner. 

 

“You haven’t been using that scar ointment I got you.” Sana frowned, her eyes drifting over the ugly pink scar that ran down the side of Nayeon’s face. She just shrugged. 

 

Momo and Sana were always a weird case. Both Mina and her were convinced something was going on between the two, but Sana continued to insist they were just roommates. But roommates don’t act the way they do. The dogs finished eating and Nayeon scooped Kookeu up into her arms, running her fingers through his fur.

 

This was really the last thing she wanted. She was exhausted, she just wanted to sleep. Not have Dumb and Dumber up in her kitchen making noise before they invitably said they needed to sleepover because it was too late to go home. (At most it would be eight.)

 

It was no use to fight it. Sana had a way of worming herself into people’s lives and refusing to leave. Instead she went to the fridge and pulled out whatever they pre packed for her. Then she caught sight of it, one of Mina’s worm books open on the kitchen table. She slammed the fridge door shut, marching over to the book, and looked over it. 

 

“Why are you touching her stuff.” Even Nayeon was taken aback by her tone, looking at the book that was opened on the kitchen table. Her heart ached as she caught sight of neat little letters inked into the margins. 

 

The kitchen fell silent, as she looked to Sana and Momo for an answer. Sana paused, “It was on the coffee table.”

 

“Okay? And you shouldn’t be touching things that aren’t yours!” Nayeon knew she sounded like a child throwing a tantrum, but they just looked at her concerned. The same way Tzuyu would. She gripped the book tighter between her fingers, turning on her heel and marched up the stairs. 

 

Instead of going for the safety of her bedroom, she went down the hall into the library, slamming the door shut. She set the book down on the desk, listening to Sana and Momo’s murmurs through the walls. Why was she so angry? She had no clue. 

 

She sat down on the chair, looking over at the book. Slowly she reached over for it and looked at the page that was marked ; Orpheus and Eurydice. 

 

Nayeon had never been really interested in the myths, not like Mina had. Sometimes Mina would tell her random ones and she would half listen. But for some reason, she found herself starting to read the myth. 

 

This was her first mistake. 

Notes:

Tag : #TwicePavane
Twitter : Brtozaki