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It had been around 6 months since you joined the BAU. Coincidentally, that’s also how long you had developed a crush on Spencer Reid for. You just couldn’t help it, and god, how much it pained you. Every time you saw him smile, which wasn’t that often due to the nature of the job, your stomach did front and back flips, you could swear an olympic gymnast was secretly living inside it. Watching his genius brain work on some sort of code while looking at the evidence board and trying to put all the puzzle pieces together just made you melt onto the floor every time. It’s like everything he did contained some secret spell that forced you to stop everything and stare in awe.
You couldn’t pinpoint when you developed your schoolgirl crush on him, but you were at the point of no return now. Usually your crushes, specifically at work, went away after a couple weeks or so and you continued as life was because jeopardising your position was never part of your plan, and you had worked too hard in your career to let a man push it backwards. Well, you weren’t even sure that he liked you anyways, so it would just make your relationship more awkward.
But, Spencer Reid. Reid. That man’s face living in your mind 24/7. How could you let this happen?
Snapping out of your thoughts, you took a sip of your pastel pink coffee mug gifted by the wonderful Penelope Garcia, and got up to walk over to the conference room. Apparently, Rossi had scheduled a team retreat in his cabin in the woods for a three day weekend and was filling all of you in on the plan. The last case had took a toll on all of you and it was so sweet of him to offer a weekend of relaxing and having fun in the woods. The weather was supposed to be perfect; clear, not too windy and the first truly warm day of spring.
That night, you started to pack your suitcase when you heard your phone ring.
“Hey babygirl, whatcha doing?”
“Just overpacking my tiny suitcase, you think getting half your bookshelf is a bit overkill right?”
“What do you need books for? You are gonna have boy genius there twenty four hours a day at your disposal. He has probably read every book known to man and will recite it to you in 7 different languages if you let him.”
You chuckled.
“Thanks Morgan.”
“Anytime babygirl, listen I have to go now we’ll talk later okay?”
“Okay,” you said in a soft tone.
Little did he know, you would do anything for that joke to become reality. His voice was warm and you could hear him talk for hours and hours about any topic that could come to his head. You hoped he never noticed the staring that you sometimes (almost always) did, maybe he just thought it was how you acted towards everyone, or perhaps he knew and just didn’t want to embarrass you.
——
The next day, after having Rossi’s signature pasta for lunch, almost everyone had taken a nap, while Spencer was sitting comfortably reading on a big brown leather chair at the corner of Rossi’s library, having a giant glass window that was overlooking his garden. Spencer’s eyebrows were furrowed, his rosy lips slightly apart, in an expression of deep thought. He was reading a russian book that you couldn’t figure out the name of.
You nervously walked over to him, not really wanting to disturb him from his thoughts. Your sweaty palms getting wiped on the sides of your floral dress as you spoke in barely a whisper as to not awake Emily sleeping on the couch in front of you, “I’m going to go on a walk towards the river, “
He looked up, meeting your gaze. He looked at your eyes, and you bet if he were a little closer he could probably decode your secret right then and there.
“Uhm, you’re welcome to join if-”
“I’d loved to y/n!” he smiled. That goddamn smile.
“Great! Cool!” you cleared your throat. Why did every single word from the english language escape your head? If they could, your diplomas would be screaming at you asking you whatever happened that caused this.
You had been walking for a bit, just listening to Spencer ramble. He was talking about spring in different cultures, which turned to talking about spring sonnets, and then analyzing “Nothing Gold Can Stay.”
“Hey, that’s my favorite poem!”
“I know, I remember you mentioning it on your first week.”
“You did?” you were puzzled, as to why he would remember such a minute detail, figuring he would use his eidetic memory for more important information
“Oh, I forgot, eidetic memory.”
“Well, it’s also because I might-“ he trailed off. “- anyways, do you know that the poem was used in the young adult book The Outsiders?..”
Hearing him say all these facts was endearing, like music to your ears. Your nervousness had started to subside a bit and you got lost in a daydream, with him as the star.
After reaching the river and siting down on a flat rock, you abruptly broke the silence between you two. It was time to take action. If not now then when?
“Hey! I’ve got a great idea!” you exclaimed, with a wide smile on your face, leaving hints of mischief behind it.
“Uh-oh, I’ve never seen you have that look y/n.”
“Well, you’ve never seen me outside of work, Spence. When I’m not looking for serial killers I try to have a bit of fun.”
“Spence, I like that nickname,” he smiled down on the grass and you watched as a fluffy curl fell to frame his face.
You stood up from the rock.
“Okay, but you have to turn around. Promise you won’t look.”
“Okay, okay I promise.”
He watched you as you walked over to the edge of the river. You turned around.
“I thought you wouldn’t look!”
“Technically, you didn’t specify when, so I couldn’t have known at what point to stop looking.”
You chuckled, walking towards him and picking up his hands by his wrists and placing them on his face, covering his eyes.
“Just ensuring you don’t look again any way I can.”
He sat there, almost frozen. You admired him for a second, thinking how lucky you were to have this moment between you two.
“Well that won’t last for long you know.”
There was a silence.
“What are you going to-“
A splash cut him off mid-sentence. You had jumped into the river with just your underwear on, in an attempt to cool of from the heat.
“Are you- y/n! How are you going to get out?”
“The only way I’m getting out is if you’re getting in. Come on!”
He looked at you in a state of slight shock.
You pointed at something in the water in front of you.
“Spence! Oh my god look! What’s that?”
“What’s what?”
“That, in the water, do you see it?”
He stepped closer to the river trying to examine the unidentified “that,” getting his face dangerously close to yours.
A splash.
You pulled him in by his arm and you were both in the water, bursting into laughter.
——
You were lying together on the rock on your backs in an attempt to dry off. You had both been laughing so much your ribs had started to hurt a little.
You turned your head just to find him staring at you. The sunlight reflected off his eyes, making them sparkle.
Your voice had softened, “Spence?”
“Yeah?” His fingers found a strand of your hair, tucking it behind your ear.
“Do you think that some things that are meant to happen and are just out of our control?”
“I think there are some events that are inevitable in our lives, but what we can control is how we react to them.”
“What about love? Can we choose who we are in love with or is it inevitable? I mean, it’s just chemicals in our brains that causes it to happen. Maybe it’s just an illusion.”
“I don’t know. I just know it feels as real as you do right now.”
You snuggled closer to him, head laying softly on the crook of his neck, your arm around his chest and his on your back, keeping you close.
You stayed there for a while until you fell asleep listening to his breaths and the whooshing of the river in the background. You were half-asleep when he was awake, whispering something to himself. He was reciting a poem and you could only pick up the last part:
“To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever—or else swoon to death.”
You fell back asleep and for the first time in a while, you felt at peace, like everything would be okay.
Walking back to Rossi’s cabin, it was afternoon, almost time for dinner. The soft glow of the sunset had illuminated the forest; it all felt surreal. You stopped in your tracks a couple meters behind the entrance.
“Y/n, thank you so much for today, it was the most fun I’ve had for a long time.”
You were facing him now, noticing his honey eyes in this lighting. Yours weren’t the only ones that hid their feelings.
You both had such giddy smiles plastered on your faces.
Pulling towards him, you planted a soft and loving kiss on his cheek.
“Thank you too.”