Chapter Text
The blue shimmered in mesmerizing, lazy ripples, almost hypnotic. She couldn’t stop watching.
Occasional bubbles popped and hissed as they broke the surface, but nothing else disrupted the liquid anymore, not a limb, not a strand of hair.
Natla was submerged deep, deep, deep in the eitr. Had been for hours, probably.
Natla was gone.
She noticed that her cheeks… hurt? Not due to an injury. She blinked, feeling her eyelids move reluctantly as if it was for the first time since her creator had started drowning. She reached up to her face. Ah, she was smiling. Her facial muscles had started feeling the strain. In her admittedly short life, she hadn’t remembered ever smiling more than a short smirk. Who could have thought smiling could hurt?
Her smile wilted a little. Who could have thought that she would ever have a reason to smile for so long?
Blinking again, the glittering of eitr wasn’t the only thing her senses focused on anymore. Her nose registered the sweetly sharp scent of the liquid, the putrid smell of rot with some whiffs of smoke. Her skin felt the mostly stale, cold air with the briefest of gentle gusts from the openings around. There was hissing of fire and soft scraping and dripping all around her, an unobtrusive background noise she had had no problem ignoring, but which now provided new things to wonder about.
Natla was gone.
She could wonder about things now, uninterrupted.
Almost shyly, she tore her eyes from that woman’s liquid grave and let them flicker around. She stood up in a slow, fluid motion, and turning around she began inspecting her surroundings in amazement. She had been climbing and running around there, but now she had the time to just… look. There was no objective to reach. There was nothing she had to do.
She could do anything!
Climb that wall over there, irrelevant to her previous task. Jump on that crumbling pillar. Maybe do a handstand on it, for no reason whatsoever. Shoot at that fire with her pistols, it wouldn’t do anything, it would be completely nonsensical, yet she could! Or… or break something. Or… go… somewhere. And do… and do something. And then something else.
Something.
She could do anything.
She shuddered. The vast room suddenly became impossibly huge and empty, the walls too far away. Why was she feeling this? This… trepidation?
She had been excited when she had been freed, giddy with anticipation. Oh, she was still excited now! But... unsure? So terribly unsure. The ground under her feet felt unstable.
The background noises hadn’t changed, she thought. Then why were they so much louder now?
She could do anything.
She searched the enormous, gaping room with her eyes, examining all the numerous ways she could go. And she could. She could take any path. And there would be nothing to do at the end, yes she could go somewhere simply because she wanted to. It didn’t have to have a reason, a purpose! Nothing!
She could do anything.
Slowly, shakily, she lowered herself back on the slab of stone, legs folded beneath her and shoulders hunched, and studied her surroundings nervously.
She had killed all the thralls, and even if she hadn’t, she would have no problem fighting them off. So what was she scared of? There was nothing here, just a lot of empty space.
Infinite possibilities.
She could do anything.
She huddled closer to the ground, moving her legs in front of her, hugging her knees to her chest as she stared at the world around her in a new-found realization: Freedom was terrifying.
Her vision unfocused and blurred.
An unusually loud crackle of fire had her head shooting up. Was she spacing out? She had to- no, she didn’t. Not anymore, she didn’t have to do anything. She could… just sit here. Forever.
But she didn’t want to. (She could want now!) She wanted to… She wanted to…?
There was a sound, a repetitive sound that had started a while ago but only now its existence reached the forefront of her mind. It was so loud, so close. And wasn’t stopping, but quickening. It took her too long to realize it was her breathing. She was inhaling and exhaling fast and loud, her chest heaving with the effort. Cold sweat was trickling down the back of her neck.
Why? She hadn’t exerted herself physically for hours!
And she could feel her heart beating, so noisy, she could feel it in her throat. She released one arm from the crushing grip on her legs and saw it trembling. She lowered her head, resting her chin on her knees and tried to slow down her breathing.
It didn’t want to. It didn’t want to slow down and her breath and her heart and the crackles and dripping were loud and they were everywhere, it was surrounding her it was all too large and she was too small, she was exposed, she had to avoid it, she had to hide, it was everywhere, everything was everywhere.
Too much.
Too much.
Everything.
Anything.
Too much.
…
She shuddered.
She blinked blearily several times, but it took a while before she could focus on anything. What had happened? She tried to move and her body protested. She noticed that her fingers were gripping her upper arms, hard enough that her nails had left bloody crescents in the skin. She loosened them slowly, straightening in her sitting position despite the stiff muscles. She was sitting by a wall, in a shadowed corner overlooking the room. When did she get there? How long was she… She didn’t remember, she had been looking around and – too large, too vast-
She shut her eyes again, breathing slowly with effort, deliberately, focusing only on that.
When she felt calmer, she carefully revisited the previous feeling: This new situation was overwhelming. Maybe acknowledging it would help. She really did hope so, because this here had been extremely uncomfortable. A new way of not being in control of herself, and wasn’t that ironic?
She needed to start small. Tiny steps going forward, to figure out what she really wanted to do.
She had all the time in the world, she didn’t have to decide quickly. There was no pressure. Apart from her own mind – no, a bad line of though, don’t think of that. There was no pressure. There was no possibility of doing this wrong because she followed no orders.
Yes, she could take her time. It would be fine.
Slowly opening her eyes, she studied one hand, stretching it forward. It was hardly even shaking anymore, just very little. She let out a relieved sigh.
Things she wanted to do… She had never been allowed to want before.
Oh, but she still had wanted, hadn’t she? She sat up straighter. There had been things. Just fleeting, impossible wishes back then, but now she could make them real!
She could feel the excitement coming back, warming her limbs, which in turn made her all the more content. Yes, she didn’t have to worry, she could just revisit her older thoughts to give herself some direction. Make a list of things she wanted to do. And then add anything else that could cross her mind, or refuse some of her previous wishes because she changed her mind. Because she could. She could choose and none of these choices would be wrong. She could choose anything ever and – she felt her breath catch. No, that was too much, too many possibilities, remember, keep it small.
She took a deep breath, let it out. Calm.
Then, huffing in amusement, she remembered her greatest wish – killing Natla. Ah, she could cross that off of her list already. A very good start if she could say so herself.
She stood up, walking towards the exit and ignoring other ways. If she wanted to, she could come here later to explore, but really, there probably wasn’t much left to explore that would differ from what she’d already seen. For now – her past wishes. What else had she wished for?
It took just a moment to remember a horizon, a countryside stretching as far as the eyes could see.
She stumbled, stopped with one palm on the wall and waited until the light-headedness passed.
Very well, let’s leave endless horizons for later. Tempting as they had been – as they still were – to just run towards, to let her legs carry her without a care in the world, such approach offered too many options. She just hoped this dizziness every time she realized how huge the scope of possibilities was, was going to stop occurring soon.
She walked out, finding herself on a snowy plane, gusts of wind dragging snowflakes to one side and then another. At least for now, her goal was clear – she had to find a more welcoming location. She didn’t get cold as easily as she had seen humans do, but low temperatures did eventually slow her down and, she assumed, would kill her in the end.
She paused in her tracks.
Humans. That’s the word she had just thought, without including herself. It made sense, neither Natla nor Amanda made any attempts to hide they hadn’t considered her a fellow human. Or rather an equal, in Natla’s case, then again Natla hadn’t considered anyone her equal, so that hardly counted.
She started walking again, making her way towards where she knew would be the boat Amanda had arrived in when she’d followed them all to Helheim.
Yes, Natla might have considered everyone her lesser, but Amanda was treating the mercenaries she’d hired with more respect than… than her. Was it because the men were humans? Or because she wore Lara Croft’s face, someone whom Amanda hated?
Was she really not human, or was it Amanda’s lie?
She… she knew she could do things humans… other humans… humans couldn’t. She was stronger and faster. But Amanda could do things other humans couldn’t with the use of the Wraith Stone.
What if it was similar, only whatever made her different wasn’t an external object, but rather the substance she was made of? Would it make a difference?
She jumped forward, clearing a ten-meter wide crevice in the ice, and landed in the snow on the other side, continuing on her way.
How would one define a human anyway? By appearance and biology? By sentience? By how one felt?
She felt… simply like herself. But how could one know how others felt, to compare these feeling? How would she knew if humans felt like her, or if maybe every human felt so differently from one another it didn’t matter anyway? Was there a universal way of feeling human?
She frowned. This was a useless line of thought. Should she even care? What would it give her to know? What would change if she found out for sure she wasn’t human? What would it give her if she found out she was human? If she wanted to interact with others inconspicuously, she only needed others to believe she was a human.
She ran up a perfectly vertical icy cliff, vaulting over the edge, making her way towards the sea that was now finally visible in the distance.
Would being a human make her feel more included, feeling more sense of belonging in this world? Debatable. Even if she were simply a human born in a very unusual way, it wouldn’t change that the way she had lived so far had been much too different from others. She didn’t even have a childhood, something no other person in the world could probably say, not in such a literal way anyway.
Even if she were human, she hadn’t been living like one.
Even if she weren’t human, she could make others believe so.
Therefore it didn’t matter, she could work with either depending on what a situation required. She felt content with this conclusion.
She arrived at the boat. It would hopefully have enough fuel to last her to the nearest port. She had already made use of it, travelling to Surrey and back, and even though she continued as a stowaway on a plane from the port, the boat’s fuel still couldn’t last forever.
Climbing in, she went to check the controls first, searching for the fuel gauge. She frowned at it. That… wasn’t very good. She might need to swim part of the way.
Deciding to find some information about the fuel consumption on this boat to confirm her suspicions, her thoughts wandered back to the previous journey. Surrey. Lara Croft’s mansion. Maybe she could travel there, share the good news about Natla.
She dismissed this option immediately. It felt too much like reporting back after successfully completing a task, and just imagining doing something like that now made her skin crawl. Never again. She could inform Lara Croft later, in some casual way, maybe send a message. While she deserved to know about Natla, she could wait.
She… didn’t exactly want to see Lara Croft anyway. It only reminded her that she was a clone. It had been the fact of her existence from the very beginning, and she had accepted it when she had known she couldn’t have a life of her own. A copy. A superior copy in many ways, but a copy nonetheless. Now she could have her own life. Be herself, whoever that was.
She could feel her stomach clench a little, uncomfortable at the sheer number of possibilities and how would she even start finding out who she was but the cupboard she was just opening saved her by giving her what she searched for.
She pulled out a slightly worn, thick book. She quickly scanned the contents and flipped pages to the relevant part. It made her wonder briefly, how the skill to control and maintain a boat – alone to boot, as this one was built for several people operating it – wasn’t probably a skill most humans possessed, yet she could manage easily, while other skills like… she paused in the middle of turning a page, letting her sight lose focus as she wondered about what were common human skills. Cooking? She’d never even tried it. Or doing sports, for fun. There were rules for the games the mercenaries sometimes watched on TV, but she couldn’t watch long enough to catch them. Maybe she could make it one of her objectives – to learn to play some ball game. Football? Or basketball, that was the one where they bounced the ball off the ground with their hand while they ran.
Yes, she could add that to her mental list. And the cooking. She ate little, but she knew she had to, and now there was no source of food for her readily available. She had to find something. And later try different foods? People seemed to enjoy some more than others, but she never had a choice in it and never found eating to be more than a necessity.
Contemplating making the list of goals physical, actually writing it down on a piece of paper, she realized she’d been staring into a wall with the manual still in her lap.
Right, focus. She could think about this later. She was managing her own time now, she was responsible to not make it a mess and fulfil her own goals.
She turned back to the book and finally read the relevant information. Her eyes narrowed. It would be close enough. Depending on the weather conditions, she might even get all the way to the port.
Ah, wait. One more thing to check. Taking a look at the schematics in the book, she made her way straight to the crates on the other side, and true to her expectations, she found several red portable fuel tanks in one of them. Good, that simplified things.
Returning to the manual, she made sure the fuel tanks she’d found contained the same type of fuel as specified in the book. Then her eyes registered something she wouldn’t have really cared for before, but now gave her a pause: Safety precautions.
The manual was quite thorough, check the engine, the generator, run some diagnostics, allocate safety gear… the list continued. She knew she hadn’t exactly been kind to the boat the previous time she’d used it, not caring about much of anything before her – presumably final – task, and then her revenge.
But she had reasons to be careful now. Not to complete a task, but simply for… herself. And she was in no hurry, so she should very well just go through the whole list. And yes, she could admit, it was calming to go through a clear set of instructions, as much as that thought irritated her. Then again, she would choose to follow these instructions, so did that differ from the list of things to do that she was making in her own head? No, it didn’t.
She started to go through the checklist, making sure the boat was safe and ready to set sail.
Being more considerate to things about her, and not just because she had been ordered to – a smirk tugged at her lips at the memory of Natla’s order to not damage the device – was a strange feeling, not one she was used to, but not one she really minded.
Finally all ready, she started up the boat. One glance back at the ice-covered island she was leaving left her with a dizzy combination of relief and insecurity, so instead she turned ahead, to her very clear goal – reaching the port. That would do for now, that was enough.
After some time, when she cleared the small icebergs and was sure the sailing would be uneventful for quite a while, she left the cabin, deciding to get some of the food she had found during the preliminary checks. She was feeling a little hungry, she hadn’t eaten since she had left Tisiphone, which had been well over two weeks ago. That was… actually quite longer than she usually went without food, but it might have had something to do with the areas full of eitr she’d been finding herself in lately. While harmful to direct touch, she suspected the vapour in the air had been affecting her. She didn’t remember much of her own creation, of her “birth”, but thick, bright blue vapours were some of her very first memories. Along with Natla’s voice, the words of command-
She shook her head. It was over. Now, she was alone. Now, she would eat.
The rations she had found weren’t much different from what she was used to, which was a little disappointing, but there would be time to try different food later. So she chewed slowly, wondering if she would try going to… a restaurant? That was what it was called, if she remembered correctly. She frowned at her own patchy knowledge of the world, she was quite certain that this was fairly basic information.
Information. She needed sources of information. She had listened to the mercenaries gossiping, she had heard some songs they listened to on the radio, occasionally she’d come across them watching television, but it was harder to remain unseen while trying to watch that. When she had time and was lucky, she could read a part of some book someone left lying around. It offered more vocabulary, but not much in terms of knowledge, she had felt. And even the new words were not always easy to figure out just from context. And who could she ask for explanations? The mercenaries? They feared her. Amanda? She would laugh at best, or insult her, or become suspicious, and Natla had been very clear about not making Amanda suspicious about anything. Even if that was mostly about Natla’s own plans, not learning new vocabulary. And asking Natla?
She grimaced. Natla didn’t even want her to talk, unless absolutely necessary. Natla had taught her to speak – in quite a different way than the mercenaries around, actually more similar to Lara Croft, once she had been able to compare – but didn’t like her to comment on things. Probably didn’t like any show of independent will, including thoughts.
She gritted her teeth. So she had kept her thoughts for herself. Mostly. Her mouth twisted into a toothy grin. She could have hardly missed the opportunity to comment of Natla’s burned, mutilated body, when she had felt the control had slipped enough in the meantime. Natla had “corrected” that soon enough but… It had felt so good.
Any little piece of disobedience felt so good, and now, after being ordered to kill herself? Her simply existing was disobeying Natla’s orders!
She leaned back in the seat, her smile going wide. She wanted to live, for herself. But if it was also in spite of Natla, then all the better. And if she would live while Natla had died, considering Natla’s plans had been precisely the opposite… oh, it was too perfect.
She rested on the seat, content with simply being and Natla not being, that when she jerked awake, the sky outside darkened with stars, she couldn’t even remember falling asleep.
She stretched after lying in the not too big of a seat and went to check where she was and if she’d strayed off-course. She shouldn’t be falling asleep when there was no other crew member to keep an eye on things – it wasn’t like she needed to sleep as often as other people – but that was a lesson for next time: Don’t get too comfortable when you don’t want to sleep. Also something she hadn’t had much opportunity to test in the past. Just sitting around doing nothing? Preposterous. Amanda would have thrown some stupid task at her just to keep her busy, or Natla would continue her “education”, which was more about the best ways to outsmart and kill Lara Croft than actually useful skills.
Oh, Natla had made sure she could read and write, and she herself had been ordered to study mechanics and geography and a few other things from approved sources but… she was taught what they would consider useful for themselves, not for her. Nothing was ever for her. She wasn’t a somebody to them.
Such cheerful thoughts. As if she hadn’t been well aware of all of this before. She wondered how much Amanda even knew about her having… thoughts. Did she consider her mindless? Natla was aware of her mind, that was why she hadn’t let her speak it. But Amanda?
Annoyance pricked at her.
Why did she keep thinking about these two anyway? She frowned and took the door handle more forcefully than she meant to, making it groan. She released her grip – not a good idea to damage the boat now.
Checking the course, she was pleased to find out she hadn’t strayed in the past five hours. At least that was the time she’d been sleeping, according to the clock.
She leaned on the wall, gazing forward at the sea, stretching far and wide. There was no anxiety creeping up at that view, probably because she knew where she was going rather than wandering aimlessly. She walked out into the frigid air and let the wind play with her braid.
She looked up, studying the stars. She liked it. They were… pretty. It felt peaceful. She stood there for a while, just enjoying the moment.
Eventually, the cold started getting at her. She breathed out one last puff of white fog and returned inside. She sat down. There was nothing to do now. What had she been doing the last time during this travel? It’s been less than a day since she had been on this way, only the opposite course. It felt like such a long time ago… and she had spent it going mentally through the mechanism that had been healing Natla, figuring out the best course of action, pacing in anticipation, imagining how it would feel to finally be rid of her…
Because she had had plans then, plans that required some sort of preparation. Now her only plan was to arrive at the port and then. Then… She focused on her breath making sure to inhale and exhale slowly to prevent any sort of panic. She had wanted to wait until she got to the port to decide what to do next, but how would that help? Would something there suddenly inspire her? Would she know simply because it would be slightly later than now?
No, she was stalling. Avoiding further decisions. When she would arrive at the port, an idea wouldn’t miraculously appear in her mind, she had to decide herself what to do. She might as well deal with it now, as much as she didn’t feel like it.
At least decide on something. The next step after arriving there. She didn’t want to stay there, did she? She didn’t particularly enjoy the way the port looked, she would have hoped for something more… colourful, varied. A larger place, with more people she could watch and learn from without being noticed, and some nature that offered more than rocks and frozen water. It was interesting, but she had already seen enough, at least for now. She wanted to see more, other parts of the world, from up close and not just from photographs. She wanted to experience it.
Very well, after arriving to the port, she wanted to continue on. There weren’t many options there – she could continue inland, possibly on foot, and end up in the middle of frozen nowhere. Or she could refuel this boat and sail on, or take a different boat. Boats were quite slow though, she didn’t want to sit and wait for days again. Then she could take a plane, a faster option but harder to get off of if she decided on changing the destination midway.
A plane still sounded the best, but it meant having decided on the next step already too… Alright, what did she have on her list so far? Learn cooking and basketball and try different kinds of food. None of that really required one specific location. Maybe she could just get on the first plane and see where it took her?
No, she wanted it to be her own decision. Which places did she know? Where she could find interesting food, yes, let’s start with food. Croft Manor – but she had already decided not to go there. Tisiphone – probably still anchored somewhere in the Andaman sea, and anyway she wasn’t interested in the ship, she could hardly operate such an enormous ship alone to use for transportation. And she already knew what kind of food had been there. No, not Tisiphone either, unless she just went there to find if any mercenaries survived, and if it was any of those who were brave and stupid enough to make disgusting comments about her. She could kill those. But… no, not worth the effort, Lara Croft probably killed most anyway.
Ah, and if any survived, the ship itself might not be there anymore. Would they just take it and disappear? Or would they wait for Amanda? Did Amanda make it back on… the ship…
Amanda again… She kept returning to her thoughts. Not unexpected, Amanda and Natla truly were the only people she had anything more but passing acquaintance with, not that that was saying much.
An idea. A good idea? Were there any good and bad ideas?
She could kill Amanda.
If Amanda was still alive, then she had more than she deserved, really, for the way she treated her.
She was no-one’s slave anymore and she would prove it to Amanda the same way she had proved it to Natla. Then maybe she wouldn’t be on her mind so often.
Cut these ties, start a new life. No, start a life.
She liked this plan. Now, where could Amanda be? Last time she had seen her was in Helheim, Amanda came to help Lara Croft. Good. As much as she didn’t like Amanda, Natla being betrayed by whom she had considered her pawn would always be a source of joy.
Now then, Amanda might have been killed by Natla after that. Right. That… would be quite reasonable to assume. But she had learnt quite a few things about Amanda’s past – from Natla, funnily enough, maybe to know Amanda’s weak spots, if Natla ever send her to kill Amanda as well?
In any case, what she had learnt about Amanda promised a good chance that the woman would have survived this time too. Always surviving… she wouldn’t be so lucky this time.
Then, if she survived Helheim, she would have probably left with Lara Croft too, or at least the same way. The route they had come in originally had been blocked up by rocks, and they could hardly climb the way she went in, so whichever way they went –
Her eyes widened. There was one way. She had learnt of these places before, how couldn’t she, sometimes that was all Amanda would talk about, maybe not even realizing how much her audience would comprehend. That route... It was how Lara Croft’s mother had travelled to Helheim.
She might not have paid much attention at that time, but now it was easy to remember that it had been right there, on the stone dais, where she had found Natla. Had that old crone been trying to use the transport too, not knowing if anyone would come to offer an unwilling helping hand? Either she hadn’t had enough time or it hadn’t worked. Or hadn’t worked… anymore?
Amanda had been mentioning a sword, needed to activate the portal. The sword… would teleport along with the person. Lara Croft and Amanda had taken it then, if there had been one. If they had really taken this route. That was still unsure, but about the best lead so far, so she continued that line of thought.
She sprawled in the chair, thumping her feet onto the opposing one, slouching in a way which Natla would haughtily disapprove of and which Amanda would consider a reason to send her clean the toilets.
This was so much fun.
If they had used the portal, where would they go? To any other of the locations with the dais? Would there be a way to find out which? How many were there?
Oh, and it was uncertain she would find Amanda anywhere close to the location she had actually arrived at, given that it had been over a week... but the hope was here, or it could still give her some lead to where Amanda had gone after – maybe some locals would have seen her.
But if she didn’t even know which place to start at, she might as well search the whole world.
She scoffed.
Killing Amanda was just something that offered a clear goal for the moment, but it wasn’t so important to spend years or decades on. If she wouldn’t find her fast enough, she would probably shelf that goal for whenever the opportunity might arise and focus on something else in the meanwhile.
Well then – did she have any idea where Lara Croft and Amanda might have landed? Could it have been set to the last travelled location? But that would have probably been Lara Croft’s mother, which meant the other direction.
Or… the direction might not have mattered.
Could the two have landed where Amelia Croft had travelled from?
She knew what place it was. She knew it, she had definitely heard about it, Natla had mentioned it, if only to use for psychological warfare against Lara Croft. It was a mountain location…
Nepal, that was it! The Himalayas in Nepal! Still, that was a large area.
She rolled her head on the armrest, staring through the window at the starry skies. More information… Could she find it elsewhere? Such an air crash had probably been mentioned on the news. But where to find such old news? Would people in Nepal know? Were plane crashes rare enough there that it would be of interest?
Too many questions, but she had a tentative course of action, for now. Even if Amanda wouldn’t be there, at least she could… try the local cuisine? That was a good enough reason to travel anywhere, so she could as well start there.
She huffed out a breath with contentment. She had decided on where to go. Now for how to get there. She suspected that the most straightforward route would be from London, by a plane. All the London airports combined had so much traffic, surely there would be a flight straight to Nepal. Kathmandu, most probably, she didn’t imagine there would be many international airports in the country.
Well, at least Natla’s insistence to learn geography was useful, otherwise this planning would be impossible.
London it was, then. She would not visit Lara Croft, even though she would probably be nearby, unless she had moved to a spare residence in the meanwhile. She probably owned more than one house, clearly she had the money.
Money.
That had been… such a non-issue in her life so far. It had actually taken her a while to understand the concept. The geography studies did require some knowledge, but she had probably learnt more about the practical side of things by listening to the mercenaries - and occasionally when Amanda complained about budgeting. Apparently, Amanda had a lot of money, and so did Lara Croft. The mercenaries had been getting a sizeable amount of money for their work, because it was dangerous. Natla had had no money and hadn’t cared, though in the past, when she had been pretending to be a human, she had had a lot of money too.
How strange to then find out that most people didn’t have such large amounts of money. That there were actually people with so little money, they were starving because they didn’t have the money to buy food.
She would just take the food without paying for it then. But these people were probably too weak to fight the people the food belonged to.
Well, she was strong, so she could take what she wanted. She would take what she wanted. People used money for almost anything, to make people do things – clearly they didn’t have handy enslaving words like Natla had, and that was quite a relief – or to get food or supplies or any other objects, but what were they going to do if she took something? Humans couldn’t win against her.
Or maybe they could, if there was many of them…
She sat up, suddenly wondering. Would it be a better idea to get some money? Then she could get things with less hassle. And she wouldn’t need to sneak into the plane because she could buy a place on board. Maybe people preferred to pay for things because it was simpler that way.
If they had the money. Which she didn’t.
Then she could steal some money and use that. That would mean she’d only do one thing people would disagree with but later she’d avoid other inconveniences by paying for things.
But she didn’t have a very clear idea how much things were worth. Well, she had a very general idea. Or a specific idea for certain things. The mercenaries had had a lengthy discussion about cigarettes once, comparing their quality and price.
Cigarettes weren’t something she was interested in buying though, apparently they were quite unhealthy too, and they weren’t essential to life at all. It seemed they smoked them because it felt good. She wanted to try things that felt good, but for now she would rather avoid things that would hurt her in the process.
Still, money could be useful to have, they seemed very versatile. Right, she would look for some when she docked.
And what to do now? She didn’t feel like thinking about her future any more for the moment. Should she do some more maintenance on the boat? Try to sleep again?
She looked around the cabin from her position in the chair. What did people do on boats when they didn’t have to steer them? What did they do for their amusement? She would just search all around until she found out. Surely not even Amanda could spend all her time meditating with the Wraith Stone – if meditation was the right word.
It didn’t take much time, ten minutes maybe, before she found a bookshelf. A few dozens of books at best but… how exciting! Why hadn’t it occurred to her earlier? She could read books freely now, and not only those she was allowed for her studies. She could read anything.
She started taking them out one by one, but none of the titles told her much about the contents. Looking inside, she found out they were mostly history books and some fiction. Perfect. She had never had the opportunity to study history, she was only told a few things here and there. What was the past of this world? How was the world even created? How had countries come to be? Now that she started thinking about it, the amount of questions was large and growing with her every thought.
The fiction books would surely be interesting too, but for now she wanted facts. She wanted to know everything.
It should have taken her almost three days to arrive to the port, but it didn’t feel like it. She hadn’t slept during that time, or eaten, only had to deal with minor diversions from the intended course due to a mild storm and had to refuel the tank when the controls warned her about its near-emptiness.
She had spent the time reading, not hiding, not hoping that Amanda wouldn’t come anytime soon to give her some dull or irritating task. No, she had read in the daylight and in the lamplight with no-one to interrupt her.
Seeing the port coming close brought out a feeling of disappointment. Yes, she could read more if she wanted, but she had a task ahead, task that was time sensitive – even if the hunt might’ve already been doomed to failure – and reading by torchlight in a dark cargo hold of an airplane didn’t sound as enticing. She also couldn’t easily carry the little library and abandoning the books, especially those she hadn’t read yet, filled her with unexpected indignation.
Maybe she could find something to carry them in. A backpack should be enough, surely there had to be one.
Searching the boat for the first time in days while the shore drew closer and closer, she found a rucksack that was ideal for her plans. She stuffed all the books in, leaving out the one she was in the middle of reading. Then she added in an electric torch that was indeed found on the boat, some remaining food rations and water. Maybe she could have added more, but she couldn’t imagine what she might need anyway. She had been doing quite well with almost nothing on her missions. She hadn’t needed a backpack before. Her pistols were on her hips, a small compass in her pocket…
Thinking of that, she remembered. It couldn’t still be… could it? She had never given it back, had she? There was no reason after all, not after Amanda got the Wraith Stone back…
With mounting excitement, she rummaged in her tight pockets. The compass was still there, yes, and also a pencil she’d swiped when she’d found it abandoned, and a spare hair tie and – there it was!
A small device, easily fitting into her palm like a tiny Geiger counter. Rather than radioactivity though, this piece of machinery responded to a very specific kind of energy.
Knowing the Wraith Stone had probably been in the Croft Manor hadn’t been the most accurate of information, after all, the house had still been extensive. The detector had been very helpful in finding the location of the Stone quickly. It didn’t work on very long distances but…
This could help immensely, once she was on Amanda’s trail.
With a pleased smile, she pocketed the device again, shrugged on the rucksack, took the remaining book in her hand and walked out onto the deck, where she continued reading until she reached the dock.
There, she jumped ashore without bothering with whatever procedures it was expected to go through while docking. She had left the boat away from the dock the first time to avoid the same, but this time she didn’t have to worry about getting it back. She didn’t need the boat anymore.
Someone was calling after her and she disappeared behind a corner, jumping onto the roof so that when he came running after her, he searched uselessly until he finally gave up.
Good.
Now to find the airport – she already knew the way.
And board a plane secretly – she already knew how to.
She tried to read while walking, but it was difficult with the distractions – some passer-bys were staring at her, as was always the case the few times any people from what she could probably call the “general public” had seen her. She didn’t look inhuman, but she looked like a strange human, which was still worthy of the others’ attention. Mostly, it was the yellow eyes, she thought. Her hair was not a shade found naturally, but apparently people like to dye their hair. He pale skin could be a little worrying, but possibly just as a sign of some illness to those not in the know. Her clothes… well, she had not thought her clothes to be strange, but she had not much to compare it to. The mercenaries wore uniforms, Natla worse all white, Amanda wore all black… ah, after all, these were Amanda’s clothes. Amanda had been apparently quite angry with sharing, judging from a few verbal jabs from Natla, and that was slightly humorous, but it was also… ah, could “demeaning” be the word? Not even her clothes were hers. She would need to change them when the opportunity presented itself.
Either way, considering they had been Amanda’s, it would have made sense that they were indeed clothes “normal” people wore. Some of the clothes she had seen Lara Croft wear didn’t look all that different ether. But how was she to judge? Maybe there were some nuances she had no idea about. She would need to look into that later.
Clothes, a new item on her mental list.
Watching other people as she made her way towards the airport, book abandoned in her hand, it occurred to her that they had more layers. Yes, it was cold, but not extremely so. She was more resilient, but they didn’t know, so maybe their stares were simply because of her lack of clothing, rather than the style.
Her eyes were still a problem though. No human seemed to have those. They had several different colours but none such bright yellow and the centre was always black, not white.
She could probably find some sunglasses, apparently those were a fairly common accessory. She probably wouldn’t find any just lying around though. If she cornered one person in private, she could demand them, the question was just how to find –
She slowed in her stride. Money. She had been thinking about money a few days ago, how that was what people used to obtain things. If she had money, she could just purchase some glasses. She had planned to look for some money anyway.
But now, finally in the civilization, with people all around who supposedly carried some money, she realized she had no idea how to do it. Where were they carrying them? Should she execute her previous idea with a robbery, but rather than demanding sunglasses, she would demand money?
With such unusual look though, they would remember her, called on others the moment she would depart with the stolen money. And that could cause trouble while paying for a seat in the plane.
She could kill the person she would take the money from.
No. She didn’t want to. Killing, not so surprisingly, was considered a very bad deed among humans. She understood it. She was looking forward to finally living her life. Someone preventing her from doing that by killing her would ruin all that. She would only kill those who deserved it. Like Natla or Amanda.
That still left the problem of obtaining money without anyone noticing.
Maybe she could leave it for later. She could still stow away with no need for money, and she was in a hurry, after all. She had to catch Amanda.
She stopped dead in her tracks, causing some people walking behind her to murmur in annoyance as they had to avoid her.
Amanda. Amanda had a lot money. And she wouldn’t need them once she was dead.
She smiled. It was all coming together beautifully.
The airport appeared in her sight when she turned the next corner.