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The sound of the lock settling into place sounds especially loud tonight, given the late hour. Jensen rests his forehead against the wooden door, taking a few moments to process the day, before turning into the nearly empty apartment. Every movement echoes off of the bare walls. Every sigh, every sniffle. If he listened close enough, he could probably hear his heart beat.
Really, he should go straight to bed, but instead he reaches for a half empty bottle of whiskey and a glass from the counter that hasn't been packed up yet. He settles into the couch after pouring himself a drink, and leans his head back, closing his eyes.
His phone rings what seems like only a few seconds later, the cheery music piercing the solemn atmosphere. He swipes his thumb lazily across the screen, bringing the phone to his ear without bothering to check the caller ID.
“Hey, Jen.” The voice says, his tone low, and steady. Grounding even.
Jensen smiles despite himself, and dammit if Misha isn’t one of the only people who could make him smile right now.
“Hey, Mish.”
“Jared said they dropped you off not too long ago. Was hoping to catch you before you fell asleep.”
“Not too far off. Decided to have a drink first.”
Misha hums in agreement, clearly understanding the need for some version of comfort after the emotional toll the day has taken on him.
“So how was it? Everything go okay out there?”
“Yeah, it was good. We tried to keep everything in good spirits, ya know? Didn’t want to drag down the whole day.” Jensen pauses, letting the silence speak for itself. “Missed you though.”
“I missed you, too. Wish I could have been there for you.”
It’s Jensen’s turn to murmur his agreement. They’d talked about it before Misha went back home, whether he could stay until the end, even though he wasn’t needed on set any longer. In the end common sense won out, and it was better for him to get back to his family instead of the risks of being out of the country and on set. Doesn’t mean it was any easier for Jensen to watch him walk out the door earlier that week.
“What time are you getting in tomorrow?”
“Movers are coming ‘round ten I think. Should be on the road by one as long as everything goes smoothly.”
If Misha senses his heartache, he’s a good man not to mention it. Packing up his apartment that week had been an emotional experience all its own. It was like leaving an entire half of his life behind in Vancouver. Unsure of the next time he’d be in the area, or if work would ever bring him this way again.
There’s another long pause in their conversation, but Jensen finds comfort in it more than anything else. It almost feels like he’s not here alone on his last night. Almost.
“Maison and West are excited to see Uncle Jensen tomorrow. You might get ambushed when you walk in the door.”
Jensen chuckles, picturing the rambunctious kids tackling him at the door, and then there’s a brief pain in his chest as he thinks about his own kids at home. The laughter ends on both ends of the phone, and Jensen sighs again.
“I miss them, man. Feels like I haven’t seen them in years.” Misha seems to know he’s no longer talking about Maison and West.
“You’ll be home in two days, Jen. If you want to go home now, I’d understand. We can postpone.”
“No.” Jensen says firmly. “No, I need to see you before I go back.”
“Jensen-” Misha starts, “we’ve talked about this. Nothing is going to change.”
“I know. I know. Just could use a reminder. I’m losing everything else. I just need to know I’m not losing you too.”
“Jay.”
Misha’s voice is soft, and Jensen knows the exact look on his face even though he can’t see him. It’s that look that makes Jensen weak in the knees. The look that tells him so much without even uttering a single word. The look that reassures him he’s not alone in this. In this, whatever they’re calling it these days.
“Go to sleep, Jen. I’ll see you when you get here.”
“Yeah. I should go. It’s pretty late, isn’t it.” He moves to sit up, and looks for the clock on the wall, only to find its empty space, clock safely packed away in some box he hasn’t labeled.
“Call me when you cross the border.”
“I will. ‘Night, Mish. Love you.”
“Love you, too. See you tomorrow.”