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Waves crested on shore, the sky was clear of clouds and the sun was bright and high. It was a gorgeous day at Shell Cottage, but for Bill and Fleur Weasley, the only thing that mattered was a man sitting on the beach, looking very sullen and emotionless.
“I’ll talk to him Bill. No ifs or buts” Fleur said decisively.
“I don’t know honey. I’ve never seen him this upset before. He might lash out” Bill said, holding Fleur’s hand. Fleur felt touched at her husband’s concern and kissed him sweetly on the lips in return.
“I’ll be ok. We might not no exactly what those three are getting up too, but I think I might help him in whatever his journey is” Fleur said. Bill rolled his eyes.
“Course you will. Good luck” he kissed her softly on the lips. Fleur grinned, then walked outside. It truly was a beautiful day, but the sight of Ron, hunched over, face expressionless was anything but.
The guilt and insecurity bubbling inside his soul was at an all time high. His own opinion of his self-worth, which at the best of times was quite high and the worst of times quite low, had reached an all time low. It was a lovely day, but Ron couldn’t have cared less. He stared out at the sea, lost in thought, about his two best friend. Well, former best friends. No doubt about that, he had fucked up royally this time, and there was no going back. Hell, he had no excuse. There was no excuse. He had left, and he was dead. It was only a matter of time.
“Beautiful day, is it not?” Fleur asked, sitting next to him on the sand. She smiled slightly at him. Ron didn’t register, he didn’t want to talk. In all honesty, he didn’t want to live. He wanted to die, let it all end and pay for his sins.
“Quite” he replied. His voice scared Fleur, it was cold and stern, quite unlike the Ron she knew. This person, this shell of a person, wasn’t Ron. This, whoever this was, made her body shiver. She inched closer, putting her hand on his arm. She hoped she could get through his façade and get him to open up on what was going on.
The silence went on, Fleur remembering a technique her mother had told her about dealing with people when they were suffering from traumatic experiences. Letting them decide when to speak, not pushing, but letting them know they were there. She came around to his front now, grabbing both of his hands in hers. She looked into his eyes, and found sorrow, regret, and other emotions. She moved forward and hugged him close to her. At first, he didn’t react, then he slowly put his arms around her and cried. Fleur put his head on her chest.Well, cried was an understatement, as his heart burst into tears and he sobbed painfully. Fleur just held him, patting his back. How long he cried and sobbed, she didn’t know, but eventually he stopped and moved off her. Ron looked at her shirt and smiled.
“Sorry about your shirt” he mumbled. Fleur smiled.
“That right now is the least of my worries” she said. She moved her arms off him and moved to the side, holding his left hand with her right one. She squeezed it in support.
“I’ve never fucked up more in my entire life. And it’s all on me” he said. Fleur moved closer to him, so they were shoulder-to-shoulder. Ron was busy staring out at sea, watching the waves. There wasn’t a lot of swell, instead the waves were calming and smooth. The reflection of the sun of the water never failed to calm Fleur down.
“I can’t tell you everything Fleur. Dumbledore left us a mission, just for the three of us. To go out and find objects, that are connected to Voldemort” he said.
“Yes?” she asked, imploring him to go on.
“These objects, they need to be destroyed in order to kill him. But they’re real dark, like, the darkest and most powerful things ever. And well, it fucked me up. We found one, and well, it affected us as a group. We camped around, hoping not to get spotted by snatchers and stuff, then, well” Ron took a deep breath. The pain and anguish was heavy in his voice, the self-loathing evident. Fleur had an inkling where this was going, but she remained silent.
“Told me things. Things I was stupid enough to believe in. The two had found out something good, a step forward, finally, after days of doing fuck all, they found something useful. They acted as if it were all good, the hunt was over, that everything would be ok. It sent me over the edge, seeing the two of them so bloody happy and cheery. That blasted thing was egging me on, I was hungry, tired, scared, upset, frustrated, and damn right pissed off. I was a mess. Got into an argument with them, then I left. And here I am” Ron explained. He was shaking, so Fleur put her arm around him comfortingly. Ron placed his head on her shoulder and frowned.
“What was the argument about?” she asked politely. Ron sniffed loudly, wiping his eyes.
“Everything really. Harry and Hermione were nattering about stuff, sounding excited and happy when they made a breakthrough. But they hadn’t, they just found out another to find, on top of everything else. We weren’t getting any closer to defeating him, we were hungry, tired, thirsty. We just dawdled around, hoping for something to pop up. It was hopeless, we needed something to do. But we didn’t and it frustrated me. My family, our family on the frontlines, Ginny in danger and he didn’t care. Harry didn’t care. So he told me to go. I asked Hermione” Ron snorted. “Of course, she stayed behind and didn’t come along. She said that we were supposed to help Harry and be with him, so she choose him and I stormed out and disapparated once I got free of our enchantments” he said with finality.
“Did she follow? Hermione?” Fleur asked. Ron nodded his head, the tears pouring down his face.
“She cried out to me, telling me to go back. But I couldn’t that blasted thing was making my head go crazy, I was determined. I looked back at her one last time, then I was gone” he said. Fleur let him stew for a while, but her brain was going a million miles an hour. Figuring out what to say was tough, but she would have to try.
“This object, powerful and dark?” she asked. Ron nodded.
“Could you exist outside of it’s influence. Were they’re moments when you could remember not hearing it?” she asked him.
“Yeah, there were” he answered.
“And how did you feel? Better or worse?” she questioned. Ron took a while to answer.
“Better. My head was clearer, I could think more. When Harry got influenced, me and Hermione would just chat and it felt normal. Like we were ok, and everything would be alright. Even when Hermione wore it, me and Harry would get on much easier. To answer your question, I felt much better” he dared to smile.
“I think that this thing, whatever it is, is much more to blame than you” she said. Ron looked angrily at her.
“You’re wrong” he said. Fleur shook her head.
“No, I think you are being way too hard on yourself Ron. Like you normally are” she said. Ron shook his head defiantly.
“I left Fleur. They didn’t” he said sternly. There was a lot of self-hatred in his tone, as Fleur merely looked out at sea.
“Harry’s blood relatives, his parents dead. His godfather, dead. His aunt, uncle and cousin are all mean to him, and so he never learned to love him. Hermione’s parents are safe in Australia, memories wiped, far away from Riddle. You, well, us, are on the frontline. Your family are at risk, there’s isn’t. I believe this object may have played on that. Made your objectives different” Fleur took a breath and risked looking at him. He seemed to listen to what she was saying, though whether he was believing her was another question entirely.
“Their objective was simple, defeat Riddle. There was no immediate, alternate danger, such as family at risk. You, however, do. All of us are at an immediate threat from the bad guys, so I believe that this thing twisted things around to make you leave. It switched your priorities against your will. Dark and powerful objects can do some scary things believe me. Maybe your thoughts were your own, but this object forced you to leave” she said.
“It made me leave?” Ron said in a hesitant voice.
“Yes. Whatever it is, you were obviously a threat to it. More so than the others, more than Harry and Hermione. It saved all of it’s energy and time attacking you, not the others. You may have had those thoughts Ron, but I know you would never leave the two of them. You three are inseparable” she said encouragingly.
“Why me? Why would it attack me? I’m just the sidekick Fleur, I useless compared to those two. Harry’s brave and courageous, Hermione’s brilliant and knows every spell. Then there’s me. Ron Weasley, just the sidekick” he said. Fleur finally find the sore spot for Ron. His biggest insecurity was the belief that he was useless. That he wasn’t good enough. It surprised Fleur just how deep and strong his emotions were, when she had heard from a lot of people that his emotions were quite simple. In fact, she had heard that Hermione herself said he had the emotional range of a teaspoon. It was clear that was a very inaccurate description, very wrong.
She squeezed him and kissed the top of his head, willing for the pain he had built over the years to ease and to let go of his past. If Harry and Hermione were watching right now, they would surely be shocked at the exquisite agony and anguish Ron was going through.
“My grandfather was an auror. One of the best in France, part of a trio you know. The three of them worked hard across the country, putting down any threats, no matter how trivial. They made some mistakes along the way, little slip-ups here and there. Fights and little arguments between the group, but they stuck together, even if they did lose their way from time to time. His two partners were quite famous, one was a master duellist and the other was scholar. The duellist was great with the actual battling of foes, brave and courageous. The scholar had a fantastic knowledge of general spells to use and was extremely intelligent. My grandfather, he didn’t fit into a specific category” Fleur explained with a big grin on her face. The story of how his grandparents met and fell in love never failed to make her smile.
“What do you mean a category?” Ron asked with a slight interest.
“He wasn’t a stand out in anything really. And he wasn’t famous either. Like you, he had doubts about his role in the group and what he actually meant to them. I asked the duellist and scholar one day when they visited what my grandfather brought to the table. And you know what they said?” she asked. Ron shook his head.
“Because they liked him. Pure and simple. They worked as a group because my grandfather was both of their best friends. They put it best this way. The duellist was like the human body, the person who acted and led from the front. Similar to Harry. The scholar was the brain, intelligent and sharp, knowledgeable, and witty. Just like Hermione. Those two traits get the most amount of attention and praise, because they are the things that are easy to see. However, nothing matters than more than the heart. Under-appreciated and overlooked often, my grandfather was the heart of the group. Just like you are to them. My grandfather was the motivator of the group, the strategist and planner. He was a little bit of everything, a jack-of-all-trades. He could fill many roles to the group’s needs, very flexible. You are the same for Harry and Hermione, you are the most important part of the group. The emotional support, a strategist and planner, you give them direction and motivation to move forward and try. Without you, both Harry and Hermione are quite miserable. They are better off with you by their side, like it always has been” she said. She noticed that Ron looked a little better, but still unconvinced.
“She still chose Harry Fleur. She’s always picked him, its always about Harry, and what he needs. And I don’t blame her. He’s rich, good-looking, bloody amazing wizard. Why would she ever think of me, why does she even have me as friend? Harry didn’t leave her on this hunt, on her own. I vowed not to hurt her, and I look how much a promise meant to me. Things get tough and I ditch her. I’m a waste of space, why am I even here Fleur? What can I possibly offer anyone anymore?” he cried, the tears pouring down his face.
Fleur removed her arm and hugged him tight. She too felt some tears fall down her face. There was more self-hatred in his tone that she thought anyone could ever have. His own self-value, what he believed his own life was worth was the lowest she had ever seen. Coming from her own brother-in-law now, someone who after this war she could get to know better. She felt her shirt get soaked again from his tears, as she patted him on the back.
“You two ok?” Bill asked, squeezing Fleur’s shoulder supportively. He saw the tears in his wife’s eyes and the loud and powerful sobs Ron was making. Fleur nodded.
“Just need another minute. Alone please babe” Fleur pleaded. Bill reached out to smudge her tears and nodded.
“You need anything, just yell out ok?” he said. He walked away, leaving the two of them alone again. Bill had told Fleur a lot about Ron and his struggles with his self-confidence, but this was getting dangerous.
“I never want to hear you say anything like that ever again. You hear me Ronald Billius Weasley?” she said into his ear. Ron nodded furiously into her chest.
“Hermione deserves someone like Harry. She shouldn’t ever see me again, I’d just mess it up like I normally do. They probably celebrated once I left, kiss and had fun. They were on their own there, maybe even thought to take a step further because they have nothing better to do. Of course, she and Viktor probably did stuff as well. She would never fall in love or go with someone like me. Not when she’s got Harry and Viktor at her beck and call” he said. His tone was dripping with hurt and anguish, though Fleur wasn’t sure if he was talking exactly to him or just saying out loud to get off his chest. Once he stopped crying, she conjured up some tissues and gave them to Ron. He pulled back and smiled gratefully at her. He took the tissues and wiped his face up. He blew his nose a couple of times, then looked at her. Fleur had never seen such a broken and ashamed person in her life.
“Hermione was wrong when she said you have the emotional range of a teaspoon” she whispered. Ron smiled slightly. She moved back to his side, and let his head drop onto her shoulder.
“You love her don’t you?” she asked him. Ron looked at her and nodded.
“I guessed so. You know the Weasley’s have a pool? They put it together after second year, I got you two getting together in the seventh year at Hogwarts. Apparently so do the Hogwarts staff” she said. Ron chuckled slightly. She kept the silence going, as she looked up at the sky.
“My grandfather had the same concerns. A woman had captured his interest, a rather beautiful and stunning woman. They met a bar in Paris, after a long and stressful mission. They chatted that night and they fast became good friends. However, like you, he started to slowly fall in love with her as they came closer. But he believed that he wasn’t good enough for her, too poor, not smart. Compared to his best friends, he didn’t think he stood a chance. What he didn’t realise is that the most important thing in any relationship is simple, very simple. He had made this girl happy, the happiest she could be. They shared the same values, and she was head-over-heels form him. What held them back for so long was the belief that they weren’t good enough, they couldn’t be enough to satisfy each other. One day, when he nearly died from a mission, they couldn’t deny their feelings anymore and kissed. From that moment onwards, they have been together” she reminisced. The story of how her grandparents came together was told often to her as a kid.
“The difference is Hermione doesn’t love me” Ron said.
“How did Hermione react when she knew Harry had his first kiss?” she asked. Ron looked shocked, clearly he wasn’t expecting that question to be asked.
“Like normal” he responded.
“Did she get angry? Did she cry and look upset?” she said. Ron shook his head.
“She looked happy. Happy for him” he said.
“I know you know how she reacted when you kissed Lavender, so I’ll explain what it all means. Hermione wants Harry to be happy. Hermione wants you to be happy with her. And you want her to be happy with you, don’t you?” she asked. Ron nodded.
“The reactions to anyone else showing interest are an easy way to see the true feelings of someone. Harry didn’t get angry when Hermione went with Krum to the ball, but you did. Anytime my veela charms make you go haywire she gets pissed too. That isn't your fault though” she reminded him. Ron chuckled.
“They miss you. Both Harry and Hermione need you to be at their best. Whatever mission you are on, it can only be completed with you by their side. They need you Ron, their most underappreciated strength, they’re best friend back. Harry needs his first friend to return and make things right. He needs his best friend to come back. Hermione needs her best friend, the man she loves to come back to her and finish whatever it is. It has always been you three, and I know you feel so much pain and anguish and shame and probably a million other emotions. But the only way you can fix it is by going back and finding them” she said encouragingly. Ron seemed to shake.
“I can’t. They’ve got privacy spells put around their camp. I’ll never find them, no matter how hard I try” he said depressingly.
“If there is one thing magic has taught me, is that when your intentions are true and loyal, nothing is impossible, no matter how hard they seem. You want to go back and help them, don’t you? Because I know you want to” she said. Ron looked at her and swallowed. His face looked set in determination and fierce. Like a warrior preparing to go into battle.
“Of course I do. They mean the world to me Fleur. Like family in a way, those two. I love both of them. I just hope they love me back” he said.
“They do. Now, stop brooding and come get some lunch. You Weasley’s have a massive appetite” she said. Ron laughed a bit, something that greatly pleased Fleur. She stood up, taking Ron with her.
"How do you know so much about the three of us anyway? And my problems as well?" he asked curiously. Fleur smiled.
"I have heard about your adventures and I talk a lot with Bill and your family. I see how the three of you interact and I recognize the similarity to my grandparents. Hell, the way you and Hermione interact reminds of their love story" she smiled at him. "Your problems are much like my own. I was scared for relationships, because how did I know the intentions of any potential partner? Is it purely physical or is there a real connection? It's horrible, with my veela heritage to know. That was until I met your brother. He saw past all of that, and he loves me for the person I am. He loves all of me, every part and there is nothing as amazing as that. That's when you know you have the found the one" she said dreamily.
“Fleur” Ron said. Fleur released him from his embrace as he looked at her. His face shone with gratitude.
“Thank you. For not kicking me out, for the chat, everything” he said. Fleur kissed cheek.
“I am your sister-in-law. It is the very least I could do” she hugged him tight. Ron hugged her back, then they let go of each other. They walked side by side to Shell Cottage.
“I’m glad you’re a Weasley” he said. Fleur smiled widely.
“So am I” she said. She stopped him with her arm. Ron looked at her in confusion.
“Everything will work out Ron, you’ll see. Everything will be ok” she said. Fleur hoped he believed her, because she didn’t ever want to see him in that state ever again. He nodded as he entered the cottage and opened the door. Bill was standing there, as Ron hugged him powerfully and whispered something into his ear. Bill immediately hugged him back, but with a surprised expression on his face. He whispered something back in Ron’s ear who nodded as he withdrew from Bill and went into the kitchen eager for some food.
“What in name of Merlin did you do?” Bill asked in astonishment of his wife. Fleur merely shrugged her shoulders and kissed him on the lips.
“Just what comes naturally to me. Saving the world and all” she said nonchalantly. Bill rolled his eyes playfully.