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Andrew gets back from class and the dorm is quiet. His professor cancelled his afternoon class and for the first time in weeks he’s alone in the dorm room.
He throws down his books and discards his cigarettes onto the desk by the window. Last night wasn’t easy for him or Neil. They both woke up from a nightmare one after the other and spent the majority of the night in the main room on the bean bag chairs, far enough away that they weren’t touching but close enough that they could feel the other’s body heat seeping off of them.
Kevin won’t be back until 4 and Neil’s class ends in about an hour. It will be one of those rare afternoons, just the two of them in the dorm alone for a few hours until they have to get back to the real world. To practice, and team bonding, and Kevin dragging them to night practice.
Andrew pulls off his sweater and falls straight into the small couch that they had pulled into the dorm at the beginning of the semester. He sprawls out, grabs the remote, and turns on the TV, letting the pointless sitcom fill the room with white noise. The sounds lull him and even if he wasn’t exhausted from staying awake all night and then working out in the gym in the morning, he thinks that he would probably fall asleep anyway. So he does.
**
Andrew wakes disoriented and with a weight resting next to his chest. He looks down to find Neil’s head pillowed on the couch beside him, his eyes closed, and his face lax in his sleep.
His phone says that it’s just after 2 pm, meaning Neil came back from class a little over 30 minutes ago and fell straight into the bean bag by the couch and fell asleep. Andrew reaches out and gently, slowly, so slowly, with great care, runs his fingers through the mess of auburn curls on the top of Neil’s head.
He traces the lines of Neil’s forehead, then his eyebrow, and then down the criss-crossing scars on his cheeks. Neil’s breath stutters. Andrew watches as his eyelids flutter, a shocking sight of bright blue, blue that Andrew can never get used to, can never get enough of, blink into focus.
“Hey,” Neil says sleepily, his voice low. He adjusts himself on the bean bag chair and curls onto his side, pressing his face more against Andrew’s chest.
“Hey,” Andrew replies, just as low and groggy. Neil smiles and it’s soft and light, airy in that way of his that leaves Andrew’s heart pounding uncomfortably in his chest.
“When did you get back?” Andrew asks even though he already knows.
“I think half an hour ago,” Neil replies. He nuzzles the side of his face into the couch and Andrew slots his hand through the hair on the back of his neck, pushing away the sweaty strands that had settled against his skin in his sleep. “I thought you had class.”
“It was cancelled,” Andrew replies softly.
Neil hums his appreciation and sits up, leaning back into the couch and stretching out, his arms thrown over his head. Andrew watches as Neil’s shirt rides up and exposes a sliver of copper skin. He wants to reach out and touch, to run his fingers across the jagged edges of Neil’s scars. He refrains, instead he lets his hand slide down the curve of Neil’s neck and settle against his collar bone.
“Come here,” Andrew says. Neil looks up at him with a gleam of curiosity in his eyes. He sits up and Andrew pulls his hand away, moving it to Neil’s waist, guiding him off of the bean bag chair and up onto the couch with him.
There isn’t a lot of space, but Andrew and Neil have shared a dorm bed before, so it’s really nothing new. Andrew shifts to the side so that Neil can slot against him, his head falling into the curve of Andrew’s neck, his breath warm against his skin.
Andrew let’s his hands settle on the curve of Neil’s waist and Neil lets out a sigh that’s really just a breath of air and a content little whine. Andrew squeezes with one hand and let’s the other drift down to rest on the curve of Neil’s ass.
Neil sits up a bit and looks Andrew in the eye. He looks warm and sleep ruffled, the curls of his hair sticking up in every direction.
“Are you making a move?” Neil asks, teasing. Andrew lets out a short huff of a laugh and squeezes Neil’s butt, his thumb tracing imaginary circles over his jeans.
“No,” Andrew says. He leans forward and kisses Neil on the cheek, and then kisses his eyebrow, and then his nose. Neil squirms and Andrew tightens his hold on his waist to keep him still. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” Neil says with a content sigh. He sneakily goes in to kiss Andrew’s cheek and then turns at the last second so he can press his lips to the corner of Andrew’s mouth. Andrew lets him and then gives Neil’s ass a squeeze in a quiet warning to settle down.
Neil pulls away, presses his face back into the curve of Andrew’s neck. It doesn’t take long for sleep to catch up to him, he nuzzles a bit closer, slots himself more firmly against Andrew’s chest, his arm worming it’s way around Andrew’s waist, light and unrestricting. Even in sleep Neil knows to give Andrew a way to escape.
Their positions don’t leave much room for escape and Andrew wouldn’t want to leave the warmth of Neil’s firm body against his anyway. He runs one hand across Neil’s back, up and down over and over until he feels Neil go loose and pliant against him, his breathing warm and slow against Andrew’s skin.
It’s easy to get lost in their everyday routine, easy to forget that moments like this can still exist within the chaos. Even after a sleepless night with past demons lying just below the surface, Andrew can still have this. He can still be gentle, he can let Neil lay against and on top of him in the middle of the dorm room, fast asleep, with an arm curved around Andrew’s waist.
Maybe this wouldn’t have been a possibility if it was with anyone else. Andrew’s past was a dark stormy cloud that threatened to strike lighting on him at any given moment, but Neil was a constant. Years of being together made moments like this easier. If it had been Neil’s freshman year, Andrew wouldn’t have been comfortable enough with him to touch after a nightmare like the one he had last night, sometimes he still couldn’t, but today is a good day. It is the kind of day where Andrew wants to open up his chest and let Neil crawl inside.
He craves a certain type of closeness and he refuses to give it to anyone else but Neil.
Andrew doesn’t fall back asleep. He rubs circles into Neil’s back and let’s his hand rest on the curve of his ass and lower back without moving. Neil sleeps and Andrew keeps him close. Watching over him.
Two hours pass with Andrew drifting in and out of the waking world. He idly watches the tv but doesn’t retain any information. Instead he feels settled, comfortable, warm, and sleepy.
The dorm room opens at 4:15 and Kevin lets himself in. Neil is awake within seconds of the door opening, he blinks blearily but doesn’t move, keeping himself tucked against Andrew’s side and hiding his face from the bright lights above them.
“Really?” Kevin asks from the door, “We have practice tonight.”
Andrew flips him off and Kevin rolls his eyes before disappearing into their dorm room. Neil sits up and presses his lips to Andrew’s neck, then to his jaw, his chin, and finally to his lips. Andrew lets him.
“Sorry,” Neil says, pulling back, “I slept on you.”
“It’s fine,” Andrew replies, his voice even, “I let you.”
Neil smirks and sits up, taking the warmth away with him. Andrew wants to reach out and pull him back down, keep him close, but Neil is already stretching out and pulling away from the couch.
“Dinner and then practice,” Neil says.
Andrew throws his head back in exasperation. There is no groan but it’s a silent gesture. Neil just laughs at him.
He doesn’t know when they’ll have a few moments of quiet again, but it’s probably fine, because Andrew has a perfect memory and he will be able to recall the soft, even breaths of Neil sleeping against his chest for as long as he lives.