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Ted had never been punched in the face before, and he hoped he never would again. Because it hurt, a lot. It was Homecoming and the gym was decorated in pink fairy lights and streamers. Purple and pink balloons lined the floors and walls. Bill and Ted were currently, and in this very rare moment, separated. Neither had a date to the dance and so they were asking basically any girls they saw to dance. Ted was feeling exceptionally brave and tried to ask cheerleader Jackie Rhiner to dance. If her disgust and rejection wasn’t bad enough, her on and off again boyfriend, Todd Jones, punching him in the face for it, was.
Bill was over by the punch bowl, getting rejected himself, when he heard the yelling. He quickly made his way over to the commotion, blissfully unaware of what he was about to see. He pushed through the crowd, two drinks in hand, one for him and one for Ted. But he was greeted with a most heinous sight. His best friend Ted was on the ground, holding his face, eyes swelling with tears.
“Why don’t you find your own girlfriend, fag!” Todd yelled. Sure, Bill and Ted said that word occasionally to each other, mostly as a joke, but it sounded like pure hate coming from Todd.
Ted looked up to see Bill, eyebrows furrowed and eyes filled with sadness, Ted couldn’t stand it. He jolted up and ran out of the gymnasium. Bill didn’t know what to do, he couldn’t move. When he realized he needed to go after him, he dropped his drinks, resulting in a couple squealing girls about red punch on their dresses. “You dickweed,” Bill scowled at Todd before running off to find his friend.
Bill ran down the hallway and out the back doors. Nobody else was outside, just Ted. Bill was relieved to find him. Ted had his back turned away from Bill, “Ted,” Bill whispered. There was a flickering light above the doors and a small drizzle. Bill took note of how Ted’s hair looked under the light, with droplets of water on it. Ted was trying not to cry, but the tears were coming. Stay in, just stay in, he thought to himself. “Ted,” Bill said again, a little louder this time. He approached Ted and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Ted slowly turned to face him. “Ouch,” Bill said when he saw the blood spilling from Ted’s nose. Ted couldn’t hold it in any longer, seeing Bill had unraveled him. He began to sob. His head instantly found Bill’s shoulder and his arms wrapped around him, Bill didn’t shy away. He grabbed on tightly to Ted, one arm wrapped around his shoulder and the other hand tucked into his hair. Ted was gripping on to Bill for dear life, like if he let go Bill would vanish.
This wasn't the first time Ted had cried in front of Bill, not by a long shot, but it had been a while. Ted was overdue. Bill kept a hold on him, he could feel Ted’s hot tears running down his neck. The blood from his nose was probably smearing onto Bill, but he didn’t care. Ted felt like he couldn’t breathe, he just kept crying loudly into Bill. His voice was muffled, but he finally spoke.
“I didn’t know what to do,” he cried. “I was just asking Jackie if she wanted to dance,” he gasped for air. “She laughed, Bill. She asked why I even bothered asking. Why would she ever say yes?” Ted continued crying. “And then Todd,” he choked on his own words. Bill could tell he didn’t want to talk about it anymore, at least not right now. Bill brought him up, his hands cupping his face. His hair stuck to his cheeks from the tears, which were flushed and tear stained. Snot was running out of his nose and the blood had smeared over his mouth.
“Ted, dude, it’s okay. Jackie and Todd are total dicks, most egregious," Bill steadied Ted, as to make sure he didn’t go anywhere. Bill took off his suit jacket and brought it up to Ted’s face.
“Dude no, this is like your best jacket,” Ted jerked his head back.
Bill chuckled, “Ted, my friend, I’m pretty sure it's already covered in your boogers and blood.. It’s alright dude,” Bill smiled, reassuring Ted. He held the back of Ted’s head and wiped away most of the blood and tried to dry his tears. A few still ran down Ted’s face and his sniffles continued. But he was smiling, smiling at how careful Bill was when wiping his face, smiling that Bill was his best friend.
“Thanks dude,” he smiled down at Bill.
“C’mon man, let’s get out of here,” Bill let Ted take the jacket and led him to Missy’s car, which she had let him borrow for the night. As Bill started the car he peered over at Ted, who starred out the window, eyes puffy and still holding on to Bill’s coat. Bill knew exactly what would cheer Ted up, some pizza and a movie. He drove them to Johnny’s Pizza, best in San Dimas. While they waited for their pizza the boys played a few rounds of Pac-Man in the corner next to a couple other games and a beat up pinball machine. Ted hovered over Bill’s shoulder, watching him play intently, so close that Bill could feel his breath on his neck. He tried his best to ignore it. Ted wasn’t touching him, but he could feel the presence of his chest against his back. Ted ran and grabbed the pizza when Bill’s name was called, Bill felt suddenly alone.
Next stop, the rough and fluorescent lit video shop. The college student behind the counter looked confused and concerned as Bill and Ted walked in. The harsh lighting of the video store showed off Ted’s red and puffy eyes, and the dried blood on his nose and lips. He was still clinging to Bill’s jacket, leaving Bill in his white shirt. The boys didn’t mind the starring, it happened more than you’d think.
With Ted close behind him, Bill walked down the aisle looking for any good looking movies. Bill picked a movie and held it up to Ted enthusiastically. It was Friday the 13th VI Jason Lives , Ted shook his head quickly. Ted was not as excited by horror movies as Bill was. “You’re right dude, we need something lighter for tonight,” Bill kept scanning the movie, leaving the horror section. He picked up another movie. Valley Girl , “Valley Girl,” Bill beamed. “Um, this one’s pretty cool. Missy likes it a lot,” Bill said trying to dial back his excitement.
“Yeah, that one’s cool. I don’t know if I’ve seen it,” Ted said, clearly lying. “We can totally rent that one,” Ted continued, quietly.
The pair rented the movie and finally made their way to Bill’s. His parents were out of town, it was Mr. Prestons and Missy’s one year anniversary, and so they were gone for the weekend. Bill pulled into their driveway and they rushed inside the house. Ted was so used to being at Bill’s that he thought of it as his real home, unlike the one with his Dad and Deacon. The smells and feel of everything were so familiar and sweet to Ted. He really wouldn’t mind never leaving.
They made their way up the stairs, skipping a couple, to quickly change out of their most uncomfortable clothes. Bill gave Ted a shirt and shorts to change into. Ted swiftly ripped off his jacket and practically tore off the buttons of his dress shirt. Ted looked over at Bill and realized what he was doing and who he was doing it in front of. He rushed to the bathroom to finish changing, without making eye contact with Bill. The shirt and shorts didn’t quite fit right, both were a little small. Ted stared at himself in the mirror, tugging at the tight fabric. He rubbed a finger across his nose, small flecks of dried blood sticking to his finger. He stung at the touch, he wanted Bill to do it. When he came back out of the bathroom he was met with Bill pulling down his shirt over his chest. He tried not to stare. Ted went to Bill’s closet and pulled out the largest sweater he could find. When he had, Bill spoke up.
“We should clean the rest of your face dude.”
“Yeah totally, the taste of blood in my mouth is most heinous,” Ted followed him into the bathroom, pulling the sweater over his head. Ted naturally popped up onto the counter, a smile upon his face. Bill grabbed some first aid wipes from under the sink and began to wipe away the blood. Ted’s face was red and tear stained, the disinfectant wipe nipped at his skin. Bill stood, still shorter, in between Ted’s legs that dangled off the counter. Bill was as gentle as possible, but the blood had dried and was clinging to Ted’s face. Bill ignored his stomach doing flips when he felt Ted’s lips and nose under the cloth. Ted tried to avert his eyes from Bill’s, staring past him and at the ceiling.
Bill pulled away, coughed to break the silence. Ted’s lips were still slightly red, Bill had never noticed how pretty Ted’s mouth was. A flash of images came flooding into Bill’s head. Ted’s mouth wrapped around a straw in his cherry slushie, lips even redder then. The way his lips constantly moved when he was thinking. That one time he walked in on him making out with a girl from their class in the boys restroom, his lips were particularly wet and swollen looking. Bill came back to reality when Ted asked, “How do I look?”
“Excellent,” Bill smiled. “We can watch the movie on the big tv downstairs!” Bill exclaimed. The two ran downstairs, where they left their pizza and movie on the coffee table. Ted grabbed them sodas from the kitchen as Bill started the movie and turned off the lights. Leaving them in a blue dimmed room, and eyes glued to the screen. Ted sprawled himself across the couch, pizza in hand, while Bill made himself comfortable on the floor.
The pair was enjoying the movie, but keeping it to themselves. Surprisingly, neither had started talking, usually, they would interrupt the movie with their own thoughts. Ted watched intently as Nick Cage and Debroah Foreman kissed in the red lit club. Finally, he had something to say, but it was important.
Ted crawled over Bill, stumbling slightly, he fell forward to hit the pause button on the VHS player. His socked feet were propped up on Bill’s shoulders, his toes hitting him in the face. Bill only found it a little gross, but he was used to it. Ted flipped himself back over with a thud and sat up. He crossed his legs and quietly fiddled with his fingers. The red light of the scene shined behind his black hair, creating a halo around his head.
“Bill?” Ted asked looking up at his friend.
“Yeah dude?” Bill responded, somewhat concerned by the look on Ted’s face.
“I have been majorly blowing it with the babes lately. I haven’t had a girlfriend in months. Or even a date! Totally bogus,” Ted shook his head in disappointment.
“Me too dude,” Bill sighed, lowering his head.
Ted ran his hand through his hair, causing it to stick up. “The last time I was with a babe was that time you walked in on me and Rhonda in the bathroom at school,” Ted looked up, looking for the answer in his head.
“Oh right Rhonda,” Bill remembered her name. The images flooding his brain again. He couldn’t even remember what Rhonda looked like. All he could think of was how Ted looked. His hair was a mess, his lips swollen, some spit around it. He wasn’t upset at all that Bill had walked in looking for him. He was extremely pleased to see him. In fact he had a huge smile on his lips and shouted a quick “Hi Bill!”. Rhonda quickly brought Ted back to her and as Bill left, despite being preoccupied, Ted waved goodbye behind Rhonda’s back. “Yeah I made out with Stacy from chemistry a few months ago, but that’s all,” Bill commented finally.
They were seriously blowing it with the babes.
“And tonight, with Jackie. It totally sucked big time. I really wanted to dance. And I desperately wanted to make out with her,” Ted flopped back down on the ground, arms spread out.
“Jackie was totally heinous. Most egregious dude,” Bill thought for a moment. He scooted slightly closer to Ted who stared blankly at the ceiling. “Plus, you’re hot stuff man, what chick wouldn’t want to make out with Ted “Theodore” Logan!” Bill crashed into Ted’s side. Ted giggled at Bill’s enthusiasm.
“Thanks dude, but apparently Jackie,” Ted sounded sad and Bill absolutely hated when he did. Bill looked over at Ted, he didn’t know if it was normal for guys to feel the way Bill was currently feeling about Ted. His stomach was filled with butterflies, his cheeks felt hot, and there was a sudden urge to become as close to Ted as possible. Ted turned his head to meet Bill, smiling widely.
“That’s such a waste,” Bill suddenly said.
“What?” Ted looked confused.
“Well, you should be getting tons of make out seshes from all sorts of babes,” Bill raised his hands in the air to emphasize his point. He didn’t quite know what he meant when his next words came out of his mouth. “You should totally be getting kissed right now,” Bill said quietly, turning back to Ted. Ted didn’t take his eyes off of Bill’s.
“Well you should too dude,” is all Ted could manage to say. Both the boys' eyes darted back and forth between each other’s eyes and lips.
“If uh, if chicks aren’t kissing us, maybe we should um-“ Bill felt like his heart was gonna jump out of his chest. Before he could fumble over more words Ted kissed him. On the lips, with his own lips. Ted’s hands stayed on his chest, but he stretched to keep his mouth on Bill’s.
Bill didn’t really like admitting it to himself at this moment, but Ted’s lips felt like absolute heaven. They were full and soft, softer than any other babe he had kissed before.
Bill felt dizzy, and hot. His cheeks were burning. Ted was breathing heavily and felt a compulsion to be closer to Bill, touch him. He reached his hand towards Bill’s. He found his wrist first, and Bill almost jumped out of his skin when he touched him. Ted’s fingers slid their way up and intertwined with Bill’s fingers. He pulled his arm over his chest, Bill leaned into Ted. Neither had gone up for air or stopped, they didn’t want to think what would happen if they did. Bill was moving, slowly, to gain leverage on top of Ted. When Ted realized what he was doing he quickly wrapped his arms around Bill and pulled him in close.
Bill’s mind was going a thousand miles per second, which was way too fast for him. He was solely focused on Ted’s lips. He had been all night for some reason, but he didn’t think he’d actually get to taste them. Right now they tasted of sugary soda and pizza, but so did probably Bill’s. He did get hints of other things, he could taste the bubblegum from hours earlier when they were getting ready for the dance. Bill’s nose was also overwhelmed by the smell of Ted’s shampoo. A rare moment for Ted, he had washed his hair for the dance.
Ted had occasionally made fun of how short Bill was compared to him, which always earned a “Shut up Ted!” that Ted would laugh at it. But right now, he felt just right, like he was molded against his body. Ted deepened their kiss, clinging to Bill’s sides. Ted did like how much smaller Bill was. It made it much easier to let Bill rest on top of him.
Bill had his elbow holding him up, the carpet digging into it, leaving red marks. His other hand had magically found itself on Ted’s burning cheek. Last he could remember it was entwined with his friend’s hand. This was a whole new sensation, Bill had only ever been on top of babes. And he’d always be the bigger person then the other, he never found himself breathing deeply and melting into their chest. But he was right now, on top of his best friend. Bill almost felt ill, like he was going to faint from heat stroke or something. But, what he didn't realize that beneath him, Ted was feeling the same way.
The room was filled with a haze and the sound of buzz of the red screen, much more rain now, and Bill and Ted’s unnoticed moans. Neither knew how much time had passed when they pulled away, slightly gasping for air. Bill pushed himself up, still looking down at Ted. Ted looked so dazzled. His eyes blank, with what neither knew at the time, but was so clearly love. His mouth open and red, like they had been with Rhonda, but this was better, it was because of Bill. Bill had to look away, he fell to Ted’s side, both locking eyes again as he hit the floor.
“Does this make us gay?” Ted asked curiously, raising an eyebrow.
“I don’t know dude,” Bill responded in wonder.
“Do you wanna keep watching the movie?” Ted asked with a smile.
“That's an excellent idea Ted, my friend,” Bill responded. They jumped up, Bill made his way on top of the couch as Ted hit the play button. Ted joined him. The boys sat a little closer to each other then they normally would. Which isn’t saying a lot, neither have much boundaries with one another. A few minutes went by before Ted spoke up again.
“Bill, was this a one time thing or are we gonna do it more?” He asked.
“Ted, my most trusted and unrivaled colleague, I sure hope so,” Bill smiled back at Ted.
“Excellent,” Ted beamed.
The pair fell asleep near the end of the movie, heads on shoulders turned to heads on chests and backs on the couch. Arms wrapped around one another, and in the morning drool on their shirts.