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The sun had already set outside, and the stylish dim lighting made his darkened reflection look flattering. 2D images are always more flattering. This lighting made Icchan's little restaurant look… flashy. Davide chewed the inside of his lip. He was getting rusty. They'd pushed a few of the tables together, and Icchan had covered them with the gift boxes. There was a little sign on the entrance that said, closed for a private function, and there were decorations put up to reassure him that his birthday should be happy. They went to a lot of effort. He took a sip of the drink they'd handed him and tried not to sigh too loudly. They'd asked what kind of music they should put on, and Davide had said he didn't like any music, and so they were standing around at the counter talking in an awkward hush and trying to figure out how to include him. In his own birthday party. He'd like to be party to their celebrations, but at the moment he wasn't particularly… functional… like a private function… He swallowed the rest of his drink in one gulp. He really was out of practise.
And he was stupid for practising. He looked at the door. He couldn't see from the reflection in the glass if his face was red, but it felt hot. He put his glass down on a nearby table, and pulled the creases out of his shirt so it fit smartly over his chest. He checked his silhouette reflected in the window, turning his head this way and that, his ponytail bobbing along after him. Anyone might think he-- he watched his shoulders drop, and he chewed at his knuckle, and wished for the earth to swallow him up. But instead, Kentaroh rushed over with another glass of something, beaming at him, elbowing him in the ribs.
"Ahhh, Davide, you look so sharp! I hope I can grow up to be an adult like you!" Davide glanced over Kentaroh's head, at the door. "I'm gonna have to outdo you at my party!" Kentaroh sighed in a high pitched and excited way, and took a sip of his drink. "Wow, oh wow, that's sweet! You like it?" Davide gave a confused grunt. "The drink! Geez," Kentaroh pulled at Davide's elbow to entice him to drink it. Davide complied. "See? I brought that! Is it good?" It was sweet, the kind of flavour Davide could get to like, and the kind of thing Bane -- well, he nodded for Kentaroh, and took a second sip. "Really! That's good, I knew you'd like it!"
Saeki came over from the bar, smiling broadly and rubbing his hands together. "Well, why don't we do presents?" He nodded to Shudoh, and Shudoh pulled a stool out from the bar. Davide crossed to it, his gaze sliding to the door again as he sat down. Then he pushed a hair behind his ear and tried to smile at them. "Who wants to go first?" Saeki said, and Kentaroh hopped up and down.
"Me, me, me!" He ran to the table, took up his gift and brought it over. A small bag, kinda heavy, obviously a bottle with liquid that sloshed around when Davide shook it. Davide narrowed his eyes at Kentaroh as he reached inside the bag, but the squat bottle of pale amber fluid was not the strawberry liqueur he was expecting. "It's a new cologne, it's supposed to be super popular with--" Kentaroh put his hands on his head, "oh no, what if it only makes you popular with the ladies?! I didn't think of that!" Davide unscrewed the lid and sniffed it. "Well, if you get popular with girls, you can always point them in my direction!"
"Thanks, Kentaroh," Davide said.
"And you never know, it might make you super popular with--"
"I'm next," Ryoh said, just loud enough for Davide to block out the end of Kentaroh's sentence. He took something out of his sleeve and passed it to Davide. It was a flat parcel, wrapped tightly with enough tape that Icchan had to bring out some scissors from the kitchen. Stylish hairpins, elaborate enough to look impressive without being gaudy or looking childish. "I thought you could find a way to use them, but then I'm used to seeing you with styled hair." Davide put a hand to his ponytail and Ryoh laughed softly.
"Alright, Davide, prepare to be amazed!" Shudoh said, holding his index fingers aloft as he scrambled backwards towards the table.
And then the door opened.
Their eyes met across the room, and his lips parted, and that smile spread out over his face when he looked at Davide, and it made Davide's chest feel tight. Someone said, "Bane!" and they tried not to sound too surprised.
"Sorry I'm late," Bane said, "Did I interrupt?" And Saeki strode into Bane's path, putting a hand on his arm, holding him by the door.
"Bane, I'm not sure this is a good idea," he said, and Bane glanced over his head, at Davide.
"It's okay," Davide said, "I invited him."
Everyone was silent, and Saeki frowned at Bane, and slowly removed his hand. "Well, that explains that!" Ryoh said suddenly, raising a glass in the air for a moment before taking a big drink. Shudoh looked at his shoes, and Kentaroh bit his lip. Icchan pushed his way past Saeki.
"Bane, can I speak to you for a moment?" he said, not in the friendliest of tones. Icchan ushered Bane into a corner, talking to him in a whisper that made his nose whistle. And Davide was distracted by a box being pushed into his lap.
"I don't often say this regarding myself, but uh, this might be a little underwhelming now," Shudoh said, and Ryoh spat out his drink. "Shut up, don't laugh at me!" Shudoh said. Davide tried tearing at the folded corners of the wrapping paper, but when he looked up, he saw Bane sweeping a hand over his forehead, eyeing the door as he listened to Icchan. Davide's hands stopped. "Well? Open it!" Shudoh said.
There was a beautifully folded and brilliant white shirt in the box, and Davide lifted it in front of his face to get a better look at it. He heard movement behind him, and Bane said, "Whatcha get?" and when Davide turned to look at him, he was grinning.
"Bane-san," Davide said. Thank you for coming, or, I'm glad you're here, or anything else really, but everything stuck in his throat. He looked down at the shirt.
"It's a shirt," Shudoh said, helpfully, "but more than that, I've upcycled it! You don't wanna know what that thing looked like before, but the right detergent can work miracles in the hands of someone like me!" Shudoh had closed his eyes, absorbed in his monologue, and couldn't see the dubious looks he was getting.
"Thank you, Sato-san," Davide said, trying not to wrinkle his nose.
"'Sides, I figured it'd suit you, and I thought you could do with a pulling shir--" Shudoh inhaled quickly and grimaced. "Sorry man," he said, turning to Bane and covering his face with his hands. Bane pulled back his cheeks in a thin smile.
"That's alright, dude, he would look hot in it," He slapped Shudoh's back, and then looked into Davide's eyes. "You would," he said, and Davide looked away quickly. Icchan clicked his tongue.
"Davide, I'm going to start cooking now," he said, and disappeared into the kitchen. Bane gave a deep sigh once Icchan had left, but nobody asked about it and it made Davide feel tense. Bane's hands were on his hips, and he bowed slightly with his chin close to his chest, utterly deflated. Then he noticed Davide watching.
"It's nothing," he said, lying, but covering it well with a smile. "Hey, why don't you open my present next?" He stooped to pick up a gift bag he'd left at his feet. "I didn't have a lot of time to get somethin', but--"
"--You didn't have to--"
"--well, I hope it's okay." He held it out. "I wanted to," he added. Davide peered into the bag, and then he gaped at Bane. A hammer, a new one, the exact brand he'd wanted. He held it up so it rested flat on top of his palms, and Bane laughed at him. "Saw you eyeing up that thing that one time, hoped you didn't already get yourself one, but I guess I did okay."
"This… Bane-san, as far as good presents go," Davide held it up by the handle in demonstration, "you hit the nail on the head with this one." There was a stunned murmur, and Davide spluttered hard.
"You… are we on good enough terms for me to retort that, 'cause," Bane said, frowning at him, and Davide snickered. "You're the one who needs a hit to the head!"
"Oh Davide, I've missed hearing your puns!" Kentaroh said, with a small chuckle, and Davide's heart ached with something. It surged up through his chest, into his shoulders, and his eyes stung with it. He stopped laughing, clamping his mouth shut to stop his jaw from trembling. He took a deep breath and tilted his head back, fighting the tears. And, they passed, but the relief felt hot on his face, and when Ryoh passed him a drink filled with ice he didn't refuse it.
Bane peered at him with a soft smile. He placed his hand on Davide's shoulder and let it rest there for a second, just a second, and then he said, "How about we get some music on in here? Doesn't feel much like a party yet." He cast his eyes about, looking for the stereo.
"Davide said he's not that interested in music," Saeki informed him. Bane gave him an incredulous frown, then he gave it to Davide.
"Don't be such a spoilsport, you know there's stuff you don't mind!" Bane squeezed past the others, behind the bar to find the stereo. "Ya know what it is, Sae? He hates pickin'," He grinned, before leafing through Icchan's binder of CDs. Davide ignored the pointed stares he felt on the back of his neck by swirling his drink in the glass. "Davi!" Looking up, he saw Bane holding up a CD and pointing to it. He put it into the stereo and pressed a few buttons. "Wait for it…!" The room filled with an instrument's whine, and for a second, Davide didn't understand why Bane looked so excited. Then the guitar kicked in, punctuated by drum beats, and warmth spread out in Davide's heart. Oh yes, this song.
And Bane must've spotted the recognition on Davide's face because he laughed, and then he bent his elbows and wiggled his torso left and right, dancing. Davide chewed his lip, trying not to laugh, but Bane danced past everyone, over to where Davide was sitting. The lyrics kicked in, and Kentaroh whooped and started bouncing around. Bane put his hand out. Davide scoffed at him.
"C'mon!" Bane said, "Stand up!" He pulled at Davide's hand lightly, repeating, "C'mon, c'mon stand up," delicately, pleading a little, and Davide rolled his eyes and shifted onto his feet with a sigh. "Yesss," Bane said, and picked up the song in an overzealous strain. Saeki laughed, shook his head, and proceeded to steal the floor with dance moves that caused yet more delighted shrieking from Kentaroh. And Davide had no idea what he was even doing, making vague movements, glancing up at Bane's smirking face and feeling ridiculous. Shudoh was trying to tempt Ryoh into joining them.
"I'm washing my hair," he said, curling up the ends of his hair between his fingers. Bane pointed at him, clicking his fingers to get Ryoh's attention, and narrowing his eyes. Ryoh raised his hands above his shoulders, then pushed himself off the bar stool, onto the floor. Kentaroh was trying -- and failing -- to copy Saeki's moves, while Shudoh clapped him on, and Bane's eyes were sparkling as he watched them. Davide turned his back to them. He watched Bane's smile flicker and change in accordance with their cheers and laughs, and he felt breathless.
"Bane-san," he said, under the music, but it was enough for Bane to look into his eyes. Davide slipped his hands over Bane's shoulders, holding him there. Bane stopped moving, staring wide-eyed, and Davide watched their feet. He felt tentative fingertips on his hips, at first, and then Bane relaxed and brushed his palms against Davide's waist, but he kept his arms straight, not daring to pull Davide any closer. And Bane started to move his feet again, so Davide raised his face, and Bane's cheeks seemed quite red as they looked at each other. He couldn't stop himself. He laughed, and Bane was laughing, too, as if right here, dancing to some stupid song, they both finally realised what the punch line of the last six months was.
But the song wound to a close, and as the room quietened, Davide heard the hushed whispers behind him, and Bane shot a warning glance at the others over Davide's head. And from the doorway, Icchan said, "The food's ready, Davide." They broke apart. Icchan was leaning thoughtfully against the kitchen doorframe, a gentle smile on his face. Then he clapped his hands together. "Okay, guys, let's clear a table!" With everyone gathered around a table, squabbling over Icchan's food, it was like being back in school. Kentaroh insisted on leading everyone in a round of Happy Birthday, and in his excitement, a tipsy Shudoh spilled his drink on Ryoh's hair. Bane sat just across the table from Davide, and kept shooting him glances, and Saeki nudged Davide in the ribs and laughed at them. Finally, when Icchan started to rub his eyes and yawn, and he said, "early start tomorrow," it seemed like it was time to leave.
The five of them stood outside the entrance, blowing into their hands and rubbing them, as Saeki waved them off from inside. Someone asked what time it was. "Too early! The night," Shudoh said, staggering a little, "is young! C'mon guys, bar crawl, whaddaya say?"
"Bar crawl!" Kentaroh punched the air, and Ryoh walked over to grab the backs of their coat collars.
"Not like this you're not, you need adult supervision." They cheered at him, and he sighed, looking back over his shoulder. "Bane? You coming?" Bane grinned at him apologetically.
"Nah, I'm," He gestured vaguely to Davide, "think I'll," Davide looked at him. "If that's okay?" Bane added quickly. Davide nodded, covering his smile with a hand.
"Wow, okay," Ryoh said, and he giggled in a way that made Bane exclaim,
"Walking him home! I'm just gonna walk him home!" And Kentaroh wolf whistled. "Fuck off," Bane said, but he smirked. They were down the road some distance before Bane said, "Sorry, Davi, I really am gonna walk you home, I mean I don't think, like--" but he couldn't articulate any further. "You know what I mean, right," he said.
Davide raised his face. The stars were bright. "Bane-san, what did Icchan say to you?"
"Wha? Oh," Bane scratched at his hair, "don't be upset with him, okay? He was worried I might," he twisted his lips shut as he considered, "well, he doesn't wanna see you get hurt."
Davide exhaled slowly, his breath evaporating into the night air. "He's got it backwards," he said.
"I don't mind, I had a good time tonight." They were nearing the familiar turning point, the road they used to take when they walked home from school together. Bane cast his eyes about, his face catching the orange of the streetlights above them. "Thanks for inviting me, I mean, I wasn't sure I should come," he looked at his hands.
"I almost thought you weren't going to," Davide said. He tidied a hair behind his ear and stopped walking. Bane turned back and stopped a few steps ahead.
"Well, I'm glad I did." He smiled, and then he stretched a hand out for Davide to take. A second passed, and he caught himself, and wincing, began to retract it. But Davide rushed to take it, gripping Bane's cold fingers as tightly as he could. "Sh… shall we… get going?" Bane said, trying to talk through his surprise. He took a step forward but Davide stayed still.
"Invite me back to yours," Davide said in a whisper. A car roared into gear in the distance, and the concrete walls of the back alleys rang with the sound of a dog's bark, and Davide's words faded beneath them like the mist of his breath. Bane's back was dark under the streetlight.
"Do you…?" Those shoulders loosened into a shrug, "I dunno, do you wanna maybe like, come back to mine?" Bane kept his questioning frown just long enough to finish speaking, and then he laughed. "For some reason I think you might," and Davide slapped his arm. "What! Well, there's like an hour left of your birthday, 's not like I can refuse." Davide kept hold of Bane's hand up until the moment he eased himself free to put his key in the door. And as the apartment opened before him, the chilled scent of it rushed out to meet Davide, fond and familiar, the same as it was on those sleepover nights all those years ago, the same as the first morning he woke up there, surrounded by cardboard boxes, sneakily borrowing Bane's toothbrush because his was packed away somewhere ridiculous. Bane gestured for him to go inside.
"You cleaned up," Davide said, scanning the place. Bane closed the door behind them and peered over Davide's shoulder.
"Nah, this is just what it looks like without your stuff lying around," and he grinned into Davide's face and nudged him with his elbow.
"If I'm really that messy, maybe I should… clean up my act." He doubled over with a laugh, and then started to unfasten his shoes. He felt a strike of Bane's knuckles against his spine.
"Maybe clean up your comedy act!" Davide stood up and dusted himself off. "You want a drink?" Bane said, putting a hand against Davide's shoulder as he tried to squeeze past him. He lingered there, with his other hand on Davide's arm, and chest-to-chest, his eyes flickering over Davide's lips and body. Bane cleared his throat. "Errr, go sit down?" He used his hand on Davide's shoulder to direct him towards the couch, "I'll bring it over in a sec."
He could feel Bane watching him as he perched on the edge of the seat. Davide pulled out his hair tie and shook his head, combing out the tangles with his fingers. He bit the band lightly and smoothed his hair upwards with both hands, arms raised and chest puffed out, his sleeves feeling taut as they drew backwards over his elbows. He tied his hair back again, and swept a hand under his ponytail, away from his neck, and when he looked up he caught Bane half-turning away, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. He approached the couch with the drinks -- two mugs of something warm -- and Davide straightened his back. He took the mug that was being offered, all the while looking into Bane's eyes, so dark and glassy in the shade, and with his lips braced against the cup, watched Bane circle the table and take the seat next to him. Bane looked uneasy, on the edge of his seat too, and his knee bumped against Davide's whenever he leaned closer. He seemed about to say something, sitting forward, taking in air, and then he stopped. He took a sip of his drink and regretted it, nearly spitting it and spilling drips over the rim of the mug and onto the carpet. He put his mug on the table and shook his coffee-stained hand in haste.
"Still a bit hot," he said, pointing at the mug. Davide suppressed a smirk and placed his mug beside Bane's. He leaned over the kitchen counter that divided the living space and picked up a tea towel, using it to mop up the coffee from Bane's clothes. "Hey!" Bane said, but he didn't mind. There were drops on his T-shirt, and on his knee. Davide leaned towards him on the couch, tucking a leg under himself to inch himself closer, and the narrowing space between them made his body tingle. His hand paused on Bane's thigh, and Davide stared down at it, watching his hand ease itself flat over Bane's trousers, his thumb shifted back, downwards, into the inner seam of Bane's jeans and his fingers swept along, pushing the creases in the denim. He'd dropped the towel.
He heard Bane gasp, and they looked at each other, and when Bane touched his face neither of them could stop it. Davide remembered it, the feel of those lips, the taste, the way they breathed together, and he felt his longing then, months of longing melting into relief in his chest. But Bane pulled back, frowning, covering his face with his hand and the ache came back. "What's wrong?" Davide said, his voice on the edge of cracking as he tried to stroke Bane's cheek. Bane turned his face aside.
"You've been drinking," he said, and he shook his head, disgusted at himself.
Davide tried to get Bane to look at him. "No, this isn't--"
"I just don't want," Bane had pain in his eyes, "I just don't want you to do anything you're gonna… regret," he said.
Regret. Davide withdrew. His voice was hoarse when he managed to break the heavy silence, "I'm sorry, do you mind if I wash my face?" Bane looked up at him, accommodating, nodding, but otherwise at a loss. And when Davide had the bathroom door closed behind him, he felt it surging in, regret. He staggered to the tap and let the water run, and broke under the sound of it, head spinning, clinging to the side of the bath. He was following the pattern of the space between the tiles on the floor, to where they disappeared beneath his folded knees, and tracing the route he had taken to get where he was. His ears let in the sound of the water gradually, and beyond it he heard his heartbeat become steady. There were tears on his cheeks, but he wiped them off, and he splashed the water on his face. He ignored the tremor in his hand as it grasped the door handle.
Bane jumped as Davide entered. He sat forward on the couch, bracing his hands against the seat, but he didn't stand. "Hey," he said casually, without managing to disguise his concerned expression, "your drink got cold so I war--"
"It's too late," the sound of Davide's agitated voice merged with Bane's words, and Bane stopped himself, pausing in silence to process it, and questioning it only as Davide repeated over, "It's too late, you said, you said you don't want me to do something I regret, but I, I, when I…" Davide's chest was heaving, and he squeezed out each word on a laboured breath. Bane stood up, reaching out to Davide by instinct, but holding himself back. "When I… left," the gravity of the word pulled down at Davide, and he doubled over. Bane's hand was on his shoulder, steadying him, soothing him, and Davide focused on the feel of those fingertips pressing softly on his shirt. "I never should've… I never should've left," he said, and Bane hushed him.
"It's okay, you were probably just… scared, or something," Bane drew him closer, further into his arms.
"I shouldn't've been scared!"
Bane's fingers were in Davide's hair, now. Davide buried his face in Bane's neck. He could feel the vibration of Bane's voice through his body, "Don't be hard on yourself! 's a big deal!" The sympathy made Davide ache, and he felt his hot tears soak into Bane's shirt. "Shh, shh, shh," Bane said, rubbing between Davide's shoulder blades, "c'mon, man, you can't cry on your birthday! I mean, it's probably not your birthday any more, but still!" But Davide continued to tremble, and Bane held him there, held fast, together in silence.
To Davide's racing mind, it felt like it took forever for him to calm his breathing enough to ask, "Aren't you mad at me?" And Bane's voice sounded sticky as he prepared to reply.
"Mad at you? No, no," he said. He drew in a breath so quickly it sounded like a sniff, and suddenly his hand wasn't stroking Davide's hair any more. Davide glanced up at him and caught Bane wiping at his own red face. "Hurt like balls, though, when you left," he said, trying to laugh and not quite managing, "but I'm not mad at you, I just… wanted you back. Wanted you to change your mind," he smiled weakly, and Davide thrust his face back into Bane's neck.
"I do, too, I want to go back to how it was before," Davide said, "Life… life without you is like a b-broken pencil," his breath caught as he tried to speak, but he steeled himself, and pulled away from Bane enough to look him in the eye. "Pointless," he said. He hiccupped his way between a laugh and a sob, and Bane grimaced at him.
"Babe," he said, in disbelief, and then, "aw, you dumb piece of shit!" Bane screwed his eyes shut, the corners of his mouth twitching downwards, and he took Davide's face in his hands and kissed him, pushing against him, letting their teeth knock together as they moved. Davide felt the scratch, Bane's stubble against his cheek, and he felt Bane's tears, too, and God, how were they ever apart from each other? Bane's hand on his lower back, around his waist, leading him, backing him towards the sliding door to the bedroom -- their bedroom -- and Bane cursed under his breath at the door jamming in the frame, the way it always did. Davide laughed at him. "Shut up!" Bane said, grinning and crying, unsticking the door with a heavy shove from his forearm.
It was dark in the bedroom, and as they stood in the doorway together, they cast a long shadow over the bed where the light bled in from behind them. They looked at each other, and then Bane placed his arms around Davide, politely, as if inviting him to dance. But he took Davide up, closer, bringing the whole of him flush against his body, and taking the whole of him, and the whole of his breath. Davide dug his fingers into Bane's hips, turning with him and then releasing in a hard shove, throwing Bane onto the bed. Davide leant forward, crawling over Bane, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time and watching Bane's grin grow wider.
The room was a dusky, morning blue, and Davide's eyes still felt gummy and sore as he took in his surroundings. Then he felt Bane move beside him, silencing the trill of the alarm clock with some violence before rolling back over into the sheets. And then he stopped. Davide felt soft fingertips on his hair and cheek, and squinted up at Bane. "Hey," he said, and Bane smiled and shifted closer.
"Hey," Bane replied. They lay side-by-side, watching each other. Bane's eyes shimmered in the low light, and when Davide reached across to touch his face, touch his mouth, he wanted to say it all over again. His lips against Bane's ear, telling him, my love, but his voice always felt smaller when Bane looked at him and the grey morning made him shy. Bane chuckled under his breath and kissed Davide, taking his time with it, not worried by the snooze flaring up from the alarm clock. But when he did pull back to shut it off, he said, casually, "I almost thought you wouldn't still be here," and he cackled at Davide's pout. The tone of his voice changed. "You know we have to talk about this, right," he said. Davide avoided his eyes. "Well, not right now, but--" Davide clung to Bane, hiding his face against Bane's shoulder beneath the duvet. "Alright, I know, I get it! But we have to, okay? I don't wanna screw it up this time."
Davide let the warmth of Bane's body comfort him. Bane took up the strands of Davide's fringe and wound it around his finger, coiling and uncoiling, and Davide said, "Me, either," half muffled by the duvet.
"Good, I'm glad," Bane said. Davide felt the kiss on the top of his head. "Alright, let me make you a drink and we'll talk about it, okay?" He ruffled Davide's hair, not waiting for an answer. He pulled back the covers and stepped out, sucking in the air through his teeth as he pulled on some clothes, and rubbing his arms for warmth. The door took a few sharp tugs before it would open, flooding the room with yellow light, and Davide snickered. "The light's on," Bane said, in quiet wonder to himself, but he shrugged, flicked it off, then opened a cupboard and peered into it. He froze. "Hey, where're--"
"Table," Davide said, tilting his head as he pointed. Bane looked round at him, then he looked at the table.
"Oh!" he said, carefully picking up their still-full mugs. He shot Davide a grin. "So much for coming back for a coffee, didn't even drink 'em!"