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The night is hot and humid. Asahi is laying in his bed. Watching the broken streetlight outside of his window, watching as it turns off and on, off and on.
Beside him sleeps Jaehyuk. The light from the street reflects on his skin, making Jaehyuk shimmer together with the city’s skyline.
It is a still night. Not a single breath of wind comes through the open window. Only the sound of Seoul’s traffic in the distans. It hums quietly in the background, slowly rocking Asahi to sleep.
He turns to Jaehyuk. Observes his calm face. Jaehyuk’s long eyelashes and round cheeks make him look like a sleeping child.
Asahi strokes Jaehyuk’s arm lightly with his fingertips. Breathes in the tepid air, takes in every scent through his nostrils. He wants to capture every second. Save this moment forever. He closes his eyes and listens to the sounds outside the window. Listens to Jaehyuk’s slow breathing.
Asahi can feel something inside him. A warm feeling slowly growing. Reaching every part of his body. It’s something he hasn’t felt for a long time. something he hasn’t felt for a long time. Or maybe he has but didn’t dare to actually embrace it. Instead he shut it out. Shut the feelings out like he always did.
He thinks back to when he was little. The nights were always quiet. Not a sound could be heard in the apartment. Not even the sound of traffic. Only the stiff sound of clock ticking in the living room. But during the day, Asahi’s parents fought a lot. Shattering glass and loud screaming were sounds Asahi got used to.
In the night’s darkest hours, when the apartment was hushed to silence. Asahi would climb into his parent’s bed and lay in between them. It was hot, cramped and a bit difficult to breathe. Nevertheless, Asahi would still press his body hard against his parents. He liked the warmth he felt from their body. He was desperate for it, because it was the only warmth he would ever feel from them.
He never wants to forget those moments. It was the calm before the storm. The beautiful ship before it sank.
“What are you thinking about?” Jaehyuk’s raspy voice woke up Asahi from his thoughts. Jaehyuk laid his face in front of Asahi’s and looked into his deep eyes.
Asahi was silent for a moment. Almost as if he thought his words would disturb the peace he felt. But at last he whispered, “Do you wanna hear a secret?.. I have never felt this safe before.”