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Fuck. It wasn't supposed to be like this. You were coming down, your high chased away by the two little words you never meant to say. Or had you?
"W-... what?" she whispered into the dark, her hands finding purchase against you. An excuse to touch, you reasoned.
"uh... nothing, sorry. Please forget what I said.”
Julia leaned down, her strong hands more gentle than they had any right to be as she kissed you softly. Too tender for your still racing heart. Before you could think anything of anything else you felt her smirk into the kiss, "That good, huh?"
And there went the loving thoughts, replaced by annoyance you couldn't help but act on, as you pushed her off. Unfazed, she started to laugh before reaching for you again.
"Okay okay I'm sorry! I just wasn't expecting that," her chuckle so bright it made you wonder how anyone could be so infuriatingly cute.You stubbornly looked away, acutely aware she couldn't really see you in the dark. Her sitting in your lap though, was something she wouldn't let you ignore.
"Hey," you looked up as her hands found their way on your face again, "Did you mean it?"
Did you mean it?
The heat of the moment had caught up to you, that was all. Or so you tried to convince yourself. Would it be so bad? To want a future with her?
Your every waking moment as Sidestep was filled with dreams of being with Ortega forever, but you had forgotten. Sidestep was dead and you weren't that hero anymore. Far from it. So why were you still dreaming of spending your life with her? That part of you was supposed to be gone but here you were, in bed with the woman you'd personally put in the hospital. She has no idea who you are. What you are.
"Hey, hey, relax okay? Let's just forget about it." Brushing your face in an apparent attempt to provide comfort. You didn't realize you had become so tense. But now that the words were out, would you take them back?
No, you decided. It was completely selfish and foolish, but you had held onto your dreams for too long. They were the only thing keeping you sane at The Farm. Every secret you held was a chance for losing her for good but... you wanted to start telling the truth. All of it. Now was as good a time as any.
Reaching to pull her as close as possible you whispered,
"Yes. Marry me?"