Work Text:
If there was one thing worth leaving the safety and comfort of Beca’s dorm room for, it was definitely coffee. More specifically, coffee from the café in the library.
Beca didn’t know what exactly they did at the library to make their coffee taste so good, but after a thorough investigation and weeks of careful testing, Beca has come to the conclusion that all the rest of the cafés on campus can suck it. She would be taking any and all of her coffee needs to the library and the library alone thank you very much.
Which is why she finds herself at that very location at precisely eleven o’clock at night on some odd Thursday late September. And most people would probably find it strange, the fact that Beca likes to make late-night coffee runs. Most people would probably disapprove, if she really thought about it, so it’s a good thing that Beca never really cared all that much about other’s opinions of her anyways, because college blows majorly and the only things getting her through her one and only year is staying up all night working on her mixes and copious amounts of caffeine.
Luckily for Beca, those two things seem to go hand-in-hand pretty easily.
“That’ll be $2.70,” the cashier tells Beca, sliding a to-go cup across the counter space.
Beca passes a few crumbled dollar bills to the girl, telling her to keep the change before scooping up her precious drink and shuffling out of the café. She makes her way through the rest of the library, intent on returning back to her dorm and pretending she can’t feel Kimmy Jin’s eyes glaring holes at her for the rest of the night, when something catches her eye, making her pause.
After a brief moment of consideration, Beca walks back into the café.
“Actually, can I get another one of these things?”
*
Chloe looks up in surprise when Beca approaches her isolated spot in the corner of the history section. “Beca? What are you doing here?”
“I was just passing through,” Beca says, shrugging a little. “Saw you studying and, uh… here.” Beca sets down her second cup of coffee on the table next to Chloe’s computer, avoiding eye contact as she does so. “I thought you could use a little energy boost.”
Chloe’s tired eyes soften at the gesture before a twinkle of mischief appears in them a moment later. “Well well well, who would’ve known; Badass Beca Mitchell is actually a softie,” she teases with a coy smile, picking up the offered drink and taking a sip.
Beca feels her ears burn. “I am not a softie,” she immediately protests, folding her arms as best as she can while still holding her own drink. “I just… happened to get two drinks and needed to give away the second one. You’re the first person I saw.”
“Is that right?” Chloe asks, still smiling. Beca can tell she doesn’t believe the excuse for a second.
“Yes,” Beca says with a firm nod of her head. She glances at Chloe’s computer screen. “What are you working on, anyway?”
Chloe groans and rubs her eyes with the heels of her hands. “Statistics. I’ve been putting off taking another math class for so long because I suck at it,” she bemoans. Beca leans over Chloe’s shoulder as she talks, inspecting the work Chloe has done on her current problem. “This assignment is kicking my butt.”
“Well, you forgot to convert between standard variation and variance here,” Beca says absentmindedly, mostly thinking out loud. She inspects the problem a little more, calculating in her head quickly before reaching over Chloe to type at the keyboard. “If you just take that into account, it should be…” The screen lights up green when Beca hits submit on the problem, and Beca lets out a little pleased hum, leaning back to admire her work. Chloe remains silent for a moment, so Beca looks down at her again. “What?”
Chloe’s mouth hangs open for a second or two before she snaps it shut. “How did you do that?” she asks in shock.
Beca shrugs and takes a sip of her drink. “I just… plugged the numbers into the formula,” she answers, starting to feel a little self-conscious.
“Show me what you did,” Chloe demands, pulling Beca into the seat next to her by the material of her flannel.
Beca stumbles a little and almost spills her coffee as she is forced to move, but chuckles at Chloe’s determination. “Alright, I’ll help you out with one or two problems, but then I gotta get going.”
Chloe nods even as she slides all of her notes over so that Beca can see them. “I’ll only keep you here for a few minutes, I promise. Then I’ll let you go.”
*
Somehow one or two problems and a few minutes turn into the entire assignment and a few hours without either of them realizing.
Beca supposes she should probably be upset by this, should probably feel a little bitter towards Chloe for keeping her at the library (the library, God) much longer than she ever intended, but really Beca doesn’t mind in the slightest. Something about the senior’s warm laugh as she cracks a joke after yawning for what seems like the third time in a minute, telling Beca that she’s sure she has some sort of pavlovian response where even just seeing the doors of the library makes her tired, seems familiar to Beca. Makes her feel comfortable, like there’s nowhere else she would rather be.
Still, the late hour catches both of them by surprise, the caffeine doing its job at keeping them awake.
Chloe glances at her phone, sitting up a little from her slumped position and running a hand through her hair. “Wow, it’s already 2 AM,” she says with a small laugh. The corners of Beca’s lips lift at the sound. “I didn’t realize it had gotten so late. Sorry for keeping you here so long.”
“No, hey, that’s-” Beca shakes her head. “It’s alright, really. I had a good time.”
“Yeah?” Chloe asks. Beca nods her head in affirmation, causing Chloe to smile. “I did, too,” she says happily. “And thanks for helping me with my math. I really don’t want to know how frustrated I would have got working on that on my own.”
Beca shrugs nonchalantly, standing up from her seat as Chloe does the same. “No problem. If you ever need help with basic addition in the future-” Chloe rolls her eyes good-naturedly at this- “just let me know.”
“I appreciate it,” Chloe says sincerely. She slings her bag over her shoulder and they make their way to the doors of the library. “Do you need me to walk you home?” Chloe asks once they’re outside, her eyebrows crinkling together in concern.”
Beca shakes her head. “Nah, I’m good.” She gestures to a nearby dorm building. “I’m just in Baker, right there.”
Chloe nods her head, content with Beca’s answer. “Alright, so… I guess I’ll see you at practice tomorrow?”
Beca grins. “See you then.”
Chloe walks away with something like a shy wave of her hand, though Beca doesn’t know what she has to be shy about. She figures it’s probably just the same tiredness she can feel in her own bones from the late hour and gives a little wave back before turning and making her way to her dorm, ready to feel the sweet sweet comfort of her bed once again.
* * *
Beca groans and presses the backspace on her keyboard rapidly, clearing away the last three sentences she just wrote.
Writing essays was stupid. Beca didn’t care who Thomas Tallis was, and she definitely didn’t care how he contributed to music in the 16th century.
Maybe picking music as her major was a bad idea after all.
“Having trouble with the arrangement again?”
Chloe’s voice causes Beca to break her glare at her computer screen, eyes shifting instead to see her co-captain walking through the entryway into the kitchen.
“I wish,” Beca sighs, resting her elbows on the tabletop and putting her head in her hands. “I’d take that kind of difficult over essays any day.”
“Amen to that,” Chloe agrees with a laugh as she puts on a pot of coffee, humming as she does so. Beca watches her with a raised eyebrow for a bit, content to forgo focusing on her assignment for now. “Dude, you know it’s like, almost midnight, right?”
Chloe looks over her shoulder at Beca, a slight challenge in her eye. “Is that a problem for you, Miss 'I’ll drink Red Bulls all night to get this mix perfect.'”
Beca blushes. “Okay I see your point,” she grumbles. Chloe grins victoriously. “I’m just surprised that you’re drinking coffee this late.”
“I have a test in a couple of days and figured I could probably benefit from a late-night study sesh,” Chloe says with a shrug, pouring coffee into two mugs and mixing creamer in one. She walks over to Beca’s place at the table and sets a coffee down in front of her. “And from the looks of it,” Chloe adds on, glancing at Beca’s barely-written essay. “You’ll be here for a while, too. Might as well stay up late when my favorite procrastinator has to do the same.”
Chloe settles a few seats adjacent away from Beca with a wink, her notes having magically appeared in front of her while Beca was blinking. The whole thing is so incredibly Chloe that it forces Beca to fight the smile threatening to break out on her face.
Beca schools her features, raising her mug of coffee up to her face. “Then I suppose this is a multi-beneficial situation,” she says airily, taking a sip of her drink. “Just don’t distract me. I really do have to get this done tonight.”
Chloe grins. “Please. You distract yourself much easier than I could ever hope to.”
And Beca can only shake her head and chuckle at that, writing another sentence down in her word doc, because Chloe is completely right, just like always.
Not that Beca will ever admit that to her.
*
“No, move farther back, I want a challenge.”
Chloe stares incredulously at Beca from the other side of the couch. “Beca, there’s no more couch to go farther back on. Besides, I doubt you can do it from this far away anyway.”
Beca gasps. “You doubt my skills, Beale? You’ve never seen me in action before.”
A playful gleam shines in Chloe’s eyes. “Fine. Prove your skills, then.”
Beca opens her mouth as Chloe tosses an M&M at her. She adjusts her positioning ever so slightly, letting out a victorious hum when the candy lands in its intended target. Chloe’s own mouth opens in surprise as she laughs in amazement.
“How have you caught every single one I’ve thrown at you?” Chloe asks, picking out another handful of M&M’s.
Beca smirks smugly. “I’m full of all sorts of surprising skills,” she quips with a wink. Chloe blushes a little and focuses on the chocolate in her hand, popping a few pieces into her mouth. “Me and my high school friends used to throw food at each other a lot,” Beca explains with a shrug. “So I’ve just had a lot of practice. Plus, Jesse and I do this when we’re bored sometimes.”
Something in Chloe’s composure seems to deflate, Chloe sinking farther into the cushions and head ducking ever so slightly. “Lots of practice, then,” she murmurs, almost offhandedly.
Beca looks at Chloe in confusion, wondering what caused the sudden shift in attitude. “Yeah,” she says uncertainly. “But Jesse’s not very good at it, so most of the time we just end up making a mess.” Beca smirks again and stretches across the couch to poke Chloe in the leg with her toe. “He’s probably still better at catching M&M’s than you, though.”
A real smile forms on Beca’s face when Chloe takes the bait. She looks up in offense at Beca’s words. “He is so not better than me at this,” she claims with a huff.
“Oh yeah?” Beca challenges, reaching towards Chloe and pulling the bag of M&M’s from her lap. “Prove it.”
Chloe opens her mouth wide in preparation as Beca throws three M&M’s out of the bag, grinning mischievously. “You ready?”
“Uh-huh,” Chloe hums with a nod of her head. Beca tosses all three M&M’s at Chloe, one of them landing in Chloe’s mouth and two bouncing off her forehead. Chloe gasps indignantly as Beca starts cackling at her own antics. “You dirty little cheater!” Chloe cries, obviously trying to keep her own laughter at bay.
“You caught one of them!” Beca points out, feeling extremely pleased with herself.
“I’ll get you for that one,” Chloe says, launching herself across the couch at Beca.
Beca lets out an embarrassing squeal and barely has time to move the bag of candy out of the way before Chloe lands half on top of her, hands starting a malicious attack on Beca’s sides. Both of them continue laughing and yelling as Beca tries to simultaneously shift away and push Chloe off of her to no avail, Chloe’s obvious strength advantage proving to be too much to overcome.
“It is three in the morning, do you mind,” a voice hisses, effectively stilling their movements.
Both of them slowly look across the room to where Cynthia-Rose is standing in the entryway to the living room, short hair sleep-mussed and irritation in her eyes.
Chloe removes her hands from Beca’s sides, but makes not moves to sit back up for now. “Sorry, we’ll keep it down,” Chloe says with a slight wince, smiling apologetically at their fellow Bella.
Cynthia-Rose grumbles something along the lines of “you better” and shuffles out of the room. Beca waits until she can’t hear footsteps anymore to speak again. “I guess we should probably get some sleep, seeing as our homework is done anyways,” she whispers, turning her head to look at Chloe again.
Even as Beca says the words, she can’t find the motivation within herself to follow through on them. Strangely enough, she doesn’t find Chloe’s weight on top of her to be uncomfortable- quite the opposite, in fact. Chloe is warm and soft and smells like lavender… Beca almost believes that she could fall asleep on the couch right her just like this-
“Yeah, I better get to bed.” Chloe pushes herself off Beca in a swift movement, the cool air filling the area she just vacated making Beca shiver. Beca struggles to sit up as Chloe makes her way to the doorway of the living room. She turns a little before walking through it and gives Beca a gentle smile. “Goodnight, Bec.”
Beca looks up at Chloe and feels her heart pound strangely in her chest. She tries for a small smile in return. “Night, Chlo.”
Despite the tiredness she can feel in her bones, Beca somehow can’t seem to fall asleep easily, the scent of lavender and the ghost of hands on her sides keeping her awake.
* * *
“You know, it makes me really mad that you’re so good at math.”
Beca can only grin as Chloe looks over the corrections Beca made on her math problem.
They’re stretched out on Chloe’s bed in her blissfully quiet room, Chloe’s back resting against her pillows while Beca rests hers against the wall, legs draped casually over Chloe’s. It’s a comfortable position, Beca supposes, made even more so by the natural hominess that always seems to envelop Chloe’s room. And perhaps the whole coziness of the atmosphere, coupled with the fact that it is nearing two in the morning is the reason that Beca keeps finding herself distracted by other things besides studying for her history class.
Because oddly enough, Beca can’t seem to take her eyes off of Chloe tonight. Which is decidedly weird, because Beca literally sees Chloe all the time. In fact, sometimes Beca feels like she sees too much of Chloe on any given day. The two of them are practically joined at the hip, and for an introvert like Beca that means she doesn’t always get the alone time she so desperately craves.
So Beca literally sees Chloe all the time, but something about the way she looks tonight makes it hard for Beca to force her eyes back to her notes. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s wearing her glasses, which she hardly ever wears because her eyes are nearly perfect anyway. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s got on one of Beca’s old hoodies from high school- the one that Beca’s dad got her as a gift during senior year as an act of kindness to the child he essentially abandoned that ended up being a size too big, effectively drowning Beca the few times she ever wore it. Or perhaps it’s the way Chloe’s hair is piled on top of her head in a messy bun, showing off the oddly captivating sight of Chloe’s neck.
Maybe it’s the way she’s biting her lip and the fact that Beca’s eyes keep lingering at the sight.
Beca really doesn’t know what it is, but maybe if she stares long enough she’ll figure it out.
Chloe lets out another sigh of frustration, breaking Beca’s careful observations. Beca blinks a few times to snap herself out of her daze. “What’s up, Chlo?”
“I still can’t figure out how to do this one correctly,” Chloe says tiredly, rubbing a hand across her forehead. She pulls her legs out from under Beca’s, but before Beca can (confusingly) feel upset by the loss of contact Chloe is pushing herself across the bed to sit next to Beca instead, notebook in hand. “Show me how to do it?”
Chloe’s request is timid and small, and Beca feels something catch in her chest at the sight of pleading blue eyes. She swallows. “Sure thing.”
The gentle smile that comes to Chloe’s face causes a smile to cross Beca’s own as Chloe makes herself comfortable, placing her notebook in Beca’s lap and curling up with her head against Beca’s shoulder. Beca frees her left arm from where it’s sandwiched between them and takes Chloe’s pencil, slowly working her way through the problem and softly explaining her process while Chloe watches with rapt attention. Chloe’s fingers trace absentmindedly over where they’re curled against Beca’s bicep, tracing shapeless patterns that have no other purpose besides stalling Beca’s breathing occasionally.
Beca shivers and tries to focus on what she’s doing, uncertain if she can even do simple addition correctly at this point.
When she’s done, she pushes the notebook and pencil into Chloe’s lap, telling her that it’s her turn. A determined crease appears between Chloe’s eyebrows as she works, and Beca finds herself with the inexplicable urge to rub a thumb over to it to smooth it out.
Beca clasps her hands together and keeps them firmly placed in her own lap.
“I think I did it right this time,” Chloe says after a couple of minutes, a hint of uncertainty in her voice.
Beca takes the notebook from Chloe again and scans her work, grinning when she sees the correct answer. “You did it, Einstein.”
Chloe giggles and nudges her shoulder against Beca’s before laying her head back down against it, quietly humming some unrecognizable tune and making no move to continue working on her assignment. Her fingers resume their previous movements against Beca’s arm as Beca starts mindlessly drawing on the paper.
The comfortable quietness returns to the room as they sit there, and Beca finds that she really doesn’t care how late she ends up going to bed this time around.
* * *
Beca lays her head down on her desk with a sigh, the familiar feeling of a headache starting to build behind her eyes.
Creating arrangements for the Bellas has genuinely always been one of Beca’s favorite things. She’s been doing it for so long now – God, has it really been four years – that they usually don’t cause her too much trouble. By now she knows each of the girls’ strengths and weaknesses- who would be best for this solo, and who’s better to stick to the background vocals to keep a balanced sound. It’s like a puzzle that always has a kick-ass end result.
But for some reason this particular arrangement is kicking Beca’s ass. The Worlds Competition is in just a little under two months, which means that it’s crunch time for the Bellas to get their routine together. Beca doesn’t know whether it’s the pressure of making a perfect arrangement coupled with the fact that if it isn’t perfect the Bellas are toast forever, the stress of her internship keeping her up at night, the residual effects of Aubrey’s psychotic retreat and her fight with Chloe, or a combination of all three, but Beca is totally and completely stuck for ideas.
She hits a C on her keyboard. The electronic tone rings back at her mockingly, so Beca scowls and pushes her chair away from her desk with a huff.
Beca presses a hand to her forehead and stares blankly at the floor for a moment, willing inspiration to strike her. When that doesn’t work, she decides to go with Plan B: Red Bull.
The stairs creak slightly as Beca creeps down them. She shushes them despite the fact that she knows they can’t hear her and holds her breath until she reaches the bottom. It’s fairly dark in the house, seeing as it’s the middle of the night and all the other inhabitants are asleep, so Beca prays that her muscle memory will be enough to guide her well enough to reach the kitchen.
A noise makes her pause as she walks by a few rooms on her way to the second set of stares, and only then does Beca realize that light is shining through the bottom of one of the doors she’s just passed.
Chloe.
Beca stares at the door for a moment, contemplating whether or not to bother Chloe at such a late hour before deciding that she could use someone to bounce ideas off of. She knocks softly against the door after only a little hesitation, feeling strange for being hesitant in the first place.
It was a recent development for Beca, this sudden unease around Chloe. She knows that Chloe doesn’t mind being bothered at literally any time of day (or night), but ever since their little tiff at the retreat, all their interactions have had a certain edge to them. To everyone else, they were back to normal, back on their best friend slash co-captains bullshit, but Beca could tell things were just… off.
It was fine, they were fine.
Beca knocks softly on the door before pushing it open without waiting for a response. “Hey, I saw that you were up, and was wondering- are you okay?”
Chloe isn’t sitting on her bed like Beca expected her to be. Instead, she’s pacing around the room, her hands clutching the hair at the top of her head as she breathes heavily.
Concern immediately fills Beca at the sighs, and she swiftly (but quietly) shuts the door behind her as she enters the room. “Chloe? Hey, what’s going on?”
Chloe shakes her head a few times. “I can’t do it, I can’t pass this class.”
Beca’s eyebrows knit together as she tries to understand. “I thought you said that you were finally ready to move on? That you weren’t scared anymore and you were going to be an exotic dancer.”
“It’s not that,” Chloe says, shaking her head again. “I don’t know if I can actually pass the class. I’ve taken it so many times, but what if I still fail? What if I choke? What if-”
“Hey, listen to me,” Beca says firmly but gently, stepping forward to catch Chloe’s wrists in her hands. She pulls Chloe hands away from her hair so that she’s holding them in the space between their bodies, and the physical contact seems to snap Chloe out of her panic a little. “You are going to be fine, okay?” Beca tells her, looking right into Chloe’s eyes. “You know this stuff like the back of your hand. I know it, you know it- hell, even your professor knows it because she’s been confused about how you’ve been failing for three years now.”
Chloe lets out a laugh at that, albeit a strained one, and the sound makes Beca smile. She nods her head a little in reassurance. “You got this, dude.”
It takes a moment, but eventually Chloe lets out a slow breath. “I got this,” she repeats, sounding a little unsure but much calmer than before.
Beca nods firmly once more. “That’s what I like to hear,” she says with a smile, releasing Chloe’s wrists and taking a step back. She spots a stack of flashcards on Chloe’s bed and scoops them up, flicking through them briefly before looking back at Chloe. “How about we go on a walk? I can quiz you as we go, but I think a change of scenery would be good for you.”
“Bec, it’s like 2 AM,” Chloe replies, and suddenly Beca feels foolish for even suggesting it in the first place. She feels her cheeks burn in a light blush and is about to apologize and retreat back to her dark attic room when she realizes that Chloe is pulling on a jacket. She stares at Chloe in surprise until Chloe gives her a weird look. “What? I don’t want to get chilly out there.”
Beca shakes herself out of it. “No, yeah, I just- Yeah, let’s go, then,” she says in a rush. Chloe grins and slips her hand into Beca’s, pulling her out the door.
*
They walk around the pond for a good half hour, Beca quizzing Chloe on different trivia questions as they go. She tries to keep things light, exaggerating her mispronunciations of the complex Russian names that she’s never heard of and making Chloe laugh as much as possible.
Chloe’s laugh has to be one of Beca’s favorites sounds in the world, Beca muses briefly, before scoffing internally at such a cheesy line.
That doesn’t make it any less true, her mind points out.
Shut up, Beca tells it.
Eventually they exhaust all the note cards Beca had grabbed and they find themselves at one of the parks by the water. Chloe, who is decidedly in a much better mood now than when Beca had found her earlier in the night, gasps excitedly at the sight of a swing set and tugs Beca over to them as if she was five years old instead of twenty-five.
They swing, though Chloe does so longer than Beca, who gets motion sick after only a few minutes of the back and forth motion. Chloe teases Beca about being an old woman, to which Beca replies something along the lines of “you’re one to talk, a cappella grandma.” Sometime later – Beca has absolutely no idea what time it could be at this point – they sit in silence, listening to the sounds of the crickets and fellow night-dwelling college students in the distance.
“I’m ready to move on, you know,” Chloe says suddenly, breaking the calm that had settled between them.
Beca looks over at Chloe, only to see that her friend still has her eyes focused forward, seemingly fixated on nothing in particular. “I know, you told all of us at the retreat,” she replies.
“Yeah, I know I said it then but-” Chloe shrugs her shoulders, exhaling her breath as they come down- “I guess I just need to reaffirm that I’m really am ready. I wasn’t just saying that because everyone else was talking about their future, or because I felt peer pressured by anyone. It feels like my life has been on hold for…” there’s a brief pause as Chloe considers her words, “something, for a long time now, but I feel ready to hit play again.”
Chloe looks back over at Beca when she’s done speaking, and suddenly that tension that Beca has been feeling since the retreat is back, except now she can tell that it isn’t lingering anger or bitterness between them. It’s more subtle than that, yet at the same time so completely palpable that Beca just knows that Chloe must be feeling it, too.
“What were you waiting for?” Beca asks, feeling as though she is somehow wading into uncharted waters.
Chloe’s eyes roam Beca’s face for a moment before she answers, lingering on one spot in particular before finally meeting Beca’s eyes. “To be brave,” is her soft reply.
Beca swallows and thinks about how maybe she’s feeling the same way. Maybe if she was brave she could fully acknowledge exactly what she thinks that tension is that she can feel between them.
* * *
It’s not until it’s nearly 3 AM that Beca realizes exactly why this scene feels so familiar.
Chloe is sitting at their tiny kitchen table, laptop open, textbooks and notebooks spread out around her. Her hair is piled up in a messy bun atop her head and she hums absentmindedly as she looks through her notes for an upcoming test for vet school.
Beca observes this sight from her place by their rundown coffee pot, her own work forcing her to caffeinate late at night. She pours coffee into two mugs, claiming one for herself and setting the other down in front of Chloe.
“Thought you could use a little energy boost.”
Chloe smiles up at Beca, recognition from that first time when Beca brought her coffee in the library flashing in her eyes. She lets out a quiet little “thanks” that makes Beca’s heart squeeze and takes a sip, humming appreciatively.
Beca settles into the spot next to Chloe, clicking through her own laptop as she wracks her brain for how she can make the recent shitty project that her boss assigned to her somewhat salvageable. She sighs as she briefly visits the tab with Facebook open, the sight of Jesse and his new girlfriend making her feel… lonely, somehow.
The tab gets closed the next second and Beca goes back to her music.
“I’ve missed this,” Chloe says after a while, breaking the comfortable silence between them. Beca blinks slowly over to Chloe, the late hour making her movements slightly sluggish.
It’s almost a nostalgic feeling, the fatigue she feels right now. Since graduating college and moving on to become a “real adult” in the world, Beca has matured enough to maintain a (somewhat) healthy sleep schedule. Gone were the days where she would stay up for forty-eight hours in order to make sure her latest mix is absolutely perfect. Gone were the nights full of midnight snacks, hushed laughter, and sleepy cuddles that stretched on until early morning.
Beca looks over at Chloe, noticing the way her eyes shine brightly even as they droop in exhaustion; a sight so familiar to Beca that she could probably draw them if asked.
“Me, too,” Beca murmurs, smiling softly at Chloe. Chloe smiles back and Beca can’t help the way her eyes drop to track the movement before she looks away again, clearing her throat a little.
“Remember that time Cynthia-Rose had to come downstairs and tell us to be quiet?” Chloe asks playfully.
Beca snorts. “Or that time Ashley had to.”
Chloe wrinkles her eyebrows together. “I thought it was Jessica.”
Beca blinks. “What about that time Legacy tried to stay up with us and clonked out before 11:00,” she says, moving on.
“I remember her falling asleep against your shoulder and how uncomfortable you looked,” Chloe teases with a smirk, causing Beca roll her eyes fondly. “You were so cute trying not to wake her up when you moved.”
Beca feels her cheeks light up a little. “Yeah, well, I had a lot of practice with people falling asleep on me,” she says pointedly, fixing an accusatory look at Chloe.
Chloe simply grins. “I can’t help it if you’re so comfortable to cuddle, Bec,” she says unapologetically. “Besides, it’s not like you ever complained.”
“That you know of,” Beca grumbles in response, which makes Chloe laugh. Beca can’t help the smile that forms on her own face as Chloe leans over in her chair to rest her forehead against Beca’s shoulder, her body still shaking with quiet laughter.
They stay like that for a while, both enjoying the close proximity with one another. At some point Chloe had slipped her hand into Beca’s, her thumb idly tracing the lines of her palm. Beca watches the action with her heart caught in her throat, debating with herself how weird it would be to raise Chloe’s hand to her mouth and lay a kiss on her palm in return.
“There were so many times that I wanted to kiss you during those late nights.”
Chloe’s voice is so quiet that at first Beca thinks that she’s misheard her. She feels her heart rate speed up and her breathing halt as the words register in her mind, because she couldn’t have possibly heard her best friend that she has (repressed) feelings for say that she wanted to kiss her… could she?
She remains silent, trying to somehow catch the swirling words in her mind and form them into a coherent response, but Chloe continues on before she can do so, still rubbing a thumb over the lines of Beca’s palm. “There were just… so many moments that I spent building up courage to say something- to do something. But you were with Jesse and I didn’t want to ruin anything between us.”
Beca reflects back on all of those late night study session they’ve had over the years, realizing just how oblivious she’s been all this time. She thinks about every instance in which she caught Chloe’s stare just before she turned away, every lingering touch where Chloe seemed reluctant to pull away, every moment where it felt like Chloe wanted to say something but never did. Somehow she missed every little sign that was flashing right in front of her.
Suddenly the stark realization occurs to Beca that maybe she was too afraid to see them because she felt the same way, because for every instance in which Chloe seemed to be holding back, there was another one where Beca was holding back as well: staying up late when she didn’t have an real reason to simply because Chloe had an assignment due, captivated by the way Chloe looked in the low lighting of the kitchen, her heart fluttering in her chest whenever Chloe would sleepily lean her head against Beca’s shoulder in the early hours of the morning.
“What were you waiting for?” Beca had asked that night on the swing set, her heart stuck in her throat.
“To be brave,” was Chloe’s whispered response.
And maybe Beca has been waiting to be brave all this time, too.
Beca gently pulls her hand away from Chloe’s and reaches for a pen on the table. Chloe sits up and watches Beca, her eyes timid and filled with apprehension.
“Can I see your notes?” Beca asks softly.
Chloe’s brow wrinkles in confusion but she does as requested, sliding her notebook over. Beca clicks her pen and reaches up to write at the top of the page.
Kiss me now?
Chloe’s breath hitches as she reads Beca’s messy handwriting, looking over at Beca in surprise. Beca licks her lips nervously, and Chloe’s eyes track the movement before she’s slowly – so slowly – leaning in. Their foreheads press together and Beca’s eyes flutter shut, her breathing stalling in anticipation, and then a soft pair of lips are pressing against her own.
It’s probably weird and completely inappropriate to think of math in a moment like this, but when Chloe deepens the kiss and her hands come up to cup the back of Beca’s neck, all Beca can think about is how it finally feels like some sort of equation is working its way out. The variables and pieces are settling into a place exactly the way they should be, just like they would in any good formula. They just fit, and just like any good formula it’s right and easy and how it’s supposed to be.
Chloe pushes Beca back against the mattress of their shared pull-out bed, their shared sigh sounding vaguely like the answer to some equation Beca has been trying to solve for years.
And when Chloe’s hand slips to where Beca wants it most, she thinks that she’d be alright with more late nights spent exactly like this for the rest of her life.