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Erudian was staring blankly at the document that needs his approval. His mind drawing blank to Yerenica's constitution. He was trying his best to deny but the evidence was there right in front him like a snake biting his heels.
From the simplest things and now even forgetting their kids. His heart and mind rebel to the absurdity of the idea but all traces lead to one suspicion…Dementia.
She was too young to have this, but he knows this declination of memory will only deteriorate further as time passes by. There is no cure, not even his divinity could heal her this time.
It was then he realizes that Yerenica will forget her Empress duties, to the littlest things she can function and most of all the love they had for each other. Erudian does not want to face this new reality but fate gives him another punch in the gut. He does not know if he can survive, just the thought of Yerenica forgetting him was too much for him to bear.
He was heart-wrenchingly devastated. He feels suffocated with thoughts of her forgetting their memories. The times they have been happy, the blissful feelings in her arms, and the painful things ahead.
They say getting married was not a walk in the park but with Yerenica it was fulfilling and beautiful. He remembered his vow that in sickness and health he will take care of her, and it was this time he must be strong for the both of them till death do them apart.
But he was just a man facing an enemy he cannot defeat. He feels that time is running out to fast for the two of them. Time is ticking like a bomb in his head, the anxiousness is consuming him.
He wishes he could bury it, get rid of it, throw it all away. He longs to be free of the anger, pain, resentment, sadness, and misery of it all. Yerenica deserves the best. Even her eyes tell me it was not my fault, I feel like it was mine, because I was there to see it and I could not do anything about it.
He keeps on sinking in despair, knowing it was not over but just barely started, knowing it cannot be undone. He tried, God knows how much he tried. In the end, all was for naught.
Erudian clenches the document he was holding tightly. He wants to hold on to his self-control, to that last strand of his sanity but he has as much as any others. The pain keeps on piling up.
Yerenica I am sorry. You carry your pain with such grace and beauty, hiding your tears beneath your smile. I’m sorry.
And there in the four walls of his white office, the strong and fearless Emperor of Belgoat weep for the love that is slipping in his hands.
He laments like a child. He does not even remember crying to his parents’ funeral but just the thought of Yerenica forgetting him, leaving him, gives him so much pain that he cannot endure.
He cried like there is no tomorrow, like a fallen leaf withering away. The mighty has fallen. He knew heartbreak when she left for a short time. He knew jealousy every time. But this…. this is more than he could take…. his emotions are getting out of control, but he has to let it out so Yerenica wouldn't know. She cannot know. This is his burden….and he will carry this cross by himself. Alone.
He always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage. This is the final proof. This suffering. This pain. This loneliness. He will take it all for Yerenica. Let him bear it all.
All lives will end
His heart, broken
Caring is not an advantage
The wheel turns
and nothing is ever new
The promise of love
The pain of loss
The joy of redemption
He does not know where this road will end but he must get through this. The sliver of hope is slowly slipping away like trying to hold water in his hand. He was just tired of everything...even of the echoes. There is nothing in his life but echoes...echoes of lost hopes and dreams and joys. They are beautiful and mocking.
~~֎~~
Erudian was visited by the tower master yearly for the purification and reports of the underworld. He never knew that 'The Woman' was the help he would need, that he would beg for her help, but he would do everything for her.
"Your majesty…. hmmm, did something happen?" Soleia ask.
"Oh, you care? I never knew a woman like you will notice such trivial things," he spat out venomously.
"My, my, my aren't we a little too hot-headed in the morning, your majesty?"
"Just give me the reports and get the hell out of here."
"Oh, a little birdy told me that the Empress keeps on forgetting things."
"..."
"What a boring man."
"If you are done leave. I have no time for your useless chatter."
"I have a new experiment and I would like to try it to the Empress."
"In Raulus name, do you think I will allow you?!"
"It will help in her situation. I am not doing this for you. I want to help her to pay her back the time she helps me and my disciples."
And Soleia put a clear orb in Erudian's desk.
"This orb records event, time and... memories. My father pioneers it and I perfected it. If she cannot be healed, then at least let her remember. Lest she forgets."
Erudian fell silent for a moment.
"T-Thank you."
Erudian did not waste any more time in his office and run towards Yerenica. He ordered Perrik to record everything the Empress was doing from the littlest thing she enjoys, her interaction with the nobles, with their kids….and lastly, the way he would make her fall in love with him all over again... every day for the rest of their lives.
~~֎~~
Every morning Yerenica would wake up confuse and scared as she was in unfamiliar territory. She looks around and sees a transparent orb in the shape of snow globes in her previous life beside it was a pink rose with a letter underneath it. Neat handwriting in both her Korean language and what is this? Oh, she does not recognize but it feels familiar like she has seen it somewhere.
"Play me."
It was then it glows and played moments of her life. The novel. This world. Slowly. Their kids! Oh, Deckard my firstborn, Yenna my strong girl and my baby Yuni.
The door in the room opens and there stands a man with the silver hair red-eyed man that he can only imagine in her dreams. Tears streaming down her eyes, how she could forget the dreams she fights for and the man he would go to hell and back. He was worth it. All worth it.
Hope is light. Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. Hope for tomorrow. Hope to the last. He is my hope. My salvation.
~~Fin~~