Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Drip drop the rain falls. One drop. Two drops. Three drops. And Junmyeon lost his count. It’s raining outside, the classical piece of Piano Concerto was  playing almost full blast from the player in the living room, and Junmyeon was moping on his bed. With his dog, Byul at the corner of the bed.

3 months have passed, and Junmyeon just realised it.

It has been 3 months since he left him.

Nothing seemed to be the same, now.

Every inch of his apartment now reminded him of the other person.

The couch where they used to sit together, cuddling for a weekly Star Wars movie marathon. The bathtub where they used to take bath together, testing the new bath bomb. And most important, the bed. The bed where his scent lingered. Where they used to lie side by side and discuss the future.

Junmyeon sat on the bed, facing his closet. He could see his jackets and knitwears hanging, and some of his ex’s shirts. He hugged his legs, putting his chin up on the knees. Junmyeon missed him, a lot.

The one that he thought would forever light up his life. The one who he thought would laugh at all stupid jokes he did. The one that he thought would be there, every second of his life.

The one that left him.

It all happened too sudden. One day they were making out, like there was no tomorrow, and the next day Junmyeon knew, they broke up.

Reason?

All started to feel bland. No spark. Nothing. It was just like mundane stuff to be done daily. And he couldn’t stand it anymore. Not Junmyeon. Him. The other person.

Junmyeon never thought it would come to this, no, of course not. He dreamt of living the remaining of his life with this man, waking up next to him every day, cuddling every single second that he could, having small little mini them. He glanced at such scribbles on photos near his vanity table, and then directed his sight to his calendar where it marked the important date for this month.

Their 3rd anniversary of the relationship.

A sudden ringing from his phone stopped his train of thoughts.

Junmyeon slowly scooted to the small bed stand, and picked up the call. It’s Baekhyun, his nosy buddy. “Hello?”

“Are you still on bed with that stupid shirt?! Do you really want me to come there and strip you out of that fucking stupid ugly looking shirt?! Do you want me to burn that?”

Junmyeon immediately looked at the shirt he was currently wearing. It’s his ex’s shirt. The favourite black t-shirt. Baekhyun is psychic. Junmyeon didn’t even realise he wore that shirt. Perhaps he unconsciously grabbed it this morning after shower.

“It’s not ugly, you are just tasteless. What do you want? Speak fast.”

“There, avoiding the question. Should I say good job Junmyeon? Tsk, I’m calling to ask you to hang out with us, tonight. We will wait, okay?”

“I’m not in the mood, seriously. Don’t wait for me,” Junmyeon ended the call.

Junmyeon knew that his best friend squad – Baekhyun and Jongin tried their best to bring him out of this stupid hole called moping after being heartbroken but Junmyeon just couldn’t. He couldn’t find the way out. It felt like it was much better to stay in this hole, forever. Drowning with memories, reminiscing stuff from the past. He couldn’t imagine going out, alone, without him. It definitely would feel weird. Even now he has been working from home. Glad he had Jongin, as his boss. Once, he was getting ready to go out, only to halt right in front of the door, breaking down while clutching his chest. It hurts, so much. He was so used to going out with someone complimenting him ‘Oh, you look good’ or ‘Babe, you definitely look stunning today’.

He would never hear a compliment like that, ever.

Just when he started to lie on the bed, he heard someone rang the bell.

‘Tsk tsk Baekhyun. That persistent human being.’

Slowly, Junmyeon got off his bed and walked to the door, sighing. “Baek, I said just now I really not in mood to join you guys tonight which part of the fucking sentence you don’t understa-“

Junmyeon stunned the moment he swung the door open.

--

Junmyeon chuckled after being tickled many times. Hot breath can be felt near the crook of his neck. It’s Friday night, and they decided to have a cuddling time. To be honest, his current workload drained a lot of energy from him. The meeting. The designing process. Everything. Junmyeon definitely will choose another career in his next life. No more career as an interior designer. But thank god he got his cheer pills now. His boyfriend was with him, on this starry night.

“What are you thinking?”

Junmyeon hummed. “I’m thinking how lucky I am to have you now, with me.”

“Cheesy,” the other man laughed.

“And how comfortable your t-shirt is.”

Sehun bolted up. “Is that my favourite t-shirt you wearing?”

“Oh.”

Sehun groaned. “Out of many t-shirts you can pick, why did you pick this black shirt? I want to wear it tomorrow!”

“Because it’s too comfortable! And it was on the top of all other shirts in your drawer. I always wear this whenever I stay at your home. Or going back to my apartment after a night stay. Remember the day we first had our deeds?” Junmyeon laughed.

“Are we having a trip down the memory lane now?” Sehun cooed. “I remember seeing your eyes almost went out of their sockets after seeing my junior”

Junmyeon huffed. “Is it really necessary to mention that? I hate you.”

“But I love you. So, babe, can we have it tonight?” Sehun grinned.

“What?”

“You know, the deeds”

“No, I don’t think so. I’m too tired for that today. And oh, back to the topic, you are going out tomorrow? I thought we would stay in bed until afternoon?”

Sehun nodded. “Oh, I’m going out tomorro-”

“And leave me alone in bed? Meany. Definitely not getting my ass tonight,” Junmyeon pouted.

“You said you are too tired for that! And please Jun, can you let me finish my sentence? I’m going out tomorrow, with you, dumbo” Sehun rolled his eyes.

Junmyeon let out a long laugh, pulling Sehun towards him. “Sorry, got too impatient. Are we going on a date tomorrow?”

“You said you want to go to an amusement park?”

“We will go to the amusement park tomorrow? Wait, I said that? That I want to go to an amusement park?” Junmyeon raised his brow. “When?”

“Yeah, like months ago? You said you want to go there, riding a merry-go-round and stuff.”

“You remember?” Junmyeon gasped.

“Of course, it’s me, the greatest man ever.”

“Tsk, and you want to wear black t-shirt to the amusement park? How about the aesthetic photo with me?” Junmyeon replied.

Sehun scoffed. “I bet the photo will come out all good, no matter what shirt I’m wearing. After all, I have the best look.”

Junmyeon gasped. “Whoa, I really got a full-of-himself boyfriend, is it? Heol.”

“Really Jun, tell me something I don’t know,” Sehun said, pecking Junmyeon’s lips.

Junmyeon was about to reply to his boyfriend when his phone suddenly rang. Both of them groaned, letting out their frustration.

“Sorry, it’s work, I guess? Let me take this call first, okay?” Junmyeon said, sheepishly.

Sehun slowly moved aside, taking Junmyeon’s phone from the bed stand before giving it to Junmyeon. “Say to that person, I will kill him the next time I come to office.”

Junmyeon rolled his eyes. “Hello?” He said, and his face immediately turned sour the moment he heard the answer from the other line. “Okay, I got it. Will be there in 10 minutes. 20 minutes max” He ended the call.

Sehun asked, worried. “Is something wrong?”

“Surely heaven hates me. Yeah, something is wrong. The design cannot fit the entire space. It seems that the intern wrongly measured the space. And yeah, I am pretty much needed there.” Junmyeon massaged his temples.

“Oh, poor my baby. You want me to drive you there? And wait until you finish the work? Perhaps we can have a short escape tonight after your work is done” Sehun suggested, putting his arms around Junmyeon.

Junmyeon pushed his boyfriend slowly. “And I’m wearing your t-shirt? I don’t even bring clothes to change, you know! I thought we would drop by my apartment before going to park tomorrow! How about the aesthetically pleasing photo?”

“Who cares about the shirt when we are the main point in the photo? You look cute in that black t-shirt, Jun, really. Though it looks a bit big on you,” Sehun muffled his laugh.

“See! I hate you!” Junmyeon smacked Sehun’s left arm.

“And I love you. Come on, get ready. You can wear my pants and my cap. You look cute in everything, Jun. That, I assure you.”

“Sure, you sweet-talker man,” Junmyeon kissed Sehun, a bit too intense before getting ready for his late night work, and possibly the late night date.

--

He was imagining stuff, was he? This was somehow his imagination, right? There was no way his ex was standing in front of his apartment now. He considered pinching his cheeks now but that would be so not cool and look silly, right?

“Jun?” the other man waved his hand in front of Junmyeon.

“S-sehun,” Junmyeon’s hand fell on his side. “It’s real, it’s you.”

“It’s me, of course. I texted you to let you know I’m coming today to pick up my stuff, and you read it. The text. I thought it was a go to come. Are you expecting another person?” Sehun fixed his beanie.

“N-no. Who else should I wait for? And oh, yeah, the text. S-sure. C-come in,” Junmyeon replied, making ways for Sehun to come inside. To be honest, he didn’t even remember opening text from his ex. Perhaps he did it when he was drinking. He put on a mental note to check the text messages later.

Sehun stepped slowly into the house, feeling awkward. He was surely familiar with the house, but coming to the house now, he felt out of place. The warmth that once filled in the house disappeared. The cosy feeling too, perhaps long lost following the wind that blows strongly outside despite the heavy rain. There was no sign of living in the living room. It was too tidy, too clean. It looked untouched. Looked... lifeless.

“I left everything as before, yeah. Your stuff, still at the place where you put them,” Junmyeon fiddled with his fingers nervously.

Sehun turned to face Junmyeon, “Actually I came to pick my shirts,” He said, albeit awkwardly.

Junmyeon suddenly remembered he wore Sehun’s t-shirt. He slowly raised his head. “Is this t-shirt included?”

Sehun nodded hesitantly. “Sorry.”

“Oh. No no, it’s okay. Of course, it’s your favourite. What a stupid question I’m asking. O-of course, can you wait, urm, for a moment? I will wash the shirt fast,” Junmyeon said, walking to the bathroom to do laundry. For only one shirt.

The one shirt that he loved the most.

The black t-shirt.

“It’s okay Jun, no need to wash it. It’s fine by me.”

“It’s not fine by me,” Junmyeon replied as he stood in front of the bathroom.

Sehun nodded. “Okay, if you say so. So can I enter your room to take my other stuff?” Sehun asked.

Junmyeon cleared his throat, nodding. “Sure.”

He slowly slipped out of the cloth, and got into a new clean pair of clothes that he left in the basket beside the washing machine, which he was procrastinating on folding. He then put the black t-shirt inside the washing machine and some detergent before he pressed the button to get the machine started running.

He let out a long sigh. Washing the t-shirt was really a good idea on making his ex stay a bit longer. But once the shirt was done being washed, his ex would leave the house, for good. And never come back. It was as clear as day that Sehun already moved on. Seeing how he came to pick up his stuff.

It seemed only Junmyeon was left behind.

Only himself.

The sound of the washing machine running now blending with the Piano Concerto from the player in the living room, definitely creating new music to Junmyeon’s ear. But definitely not enough to mend his heart.

--

Sehun walked into the bedroom, smiling as he stepped towards the bed. Junmyeon was still sleeping, chest moving up and down. He squatted, observing his angelic looking boyfriend. He traced his finger on the other man’s brows, the nose bridge, the plump lips, and lastly, poking the cheeks.

“Do you have enough sweet time admiring how cute I am?” Junmyeon said, eyes closed.

Sehun grinned. “No, of course not. There is not enough time to admire my babe. I want to admire you every second of my life. But Jun, I am freezing to death now. This bathrobe isn’t doing things to me. Where is my shirt? My black t-shirt? I need it, now” Sehun replied, hugging himself.

Junmyeon opened his eyes, then sat. “Your black t-shirt?”

Sehun nodded urgently. “Oh, my black t-shirt. My favourite. Where is it?”

Junmyeon slowly scratched his head. “You want to wear it now? Like now?”

“Yes. Now.”

“Can you wear another shirt? I mean you left quite a lot of shirts at my house. We got white t-shirt, the brown t-shirt. And oh oh, the one with the stripes!”

“But I want to wear that black t-shirt.”

Junmyeon sheepishly grinned. “Uh-oh, that t-shirt, urm, in the laundry basket. I haven’t washed it yet.”

 “Why? I want to wear it today, Jun,” Sehun groaned.

“I wore it the night before. And I haven’t done my laundry, yet. So, sorry Sehunnie,” Junmyeon pouted.

Sehun lied on the bed, groaning. “Jun, you know I love that t-shirt. And I will definitely wear that when I’m here.”

“I know, sorry Sehunnie” Junmyeon moved to hover on top of his boyfriend, giving pecks as means of apologizing. Seeing his boyfriend already forgot the big deal of wearing that black t-shirt, Junmyeon asked. “Tell me Sehunnie, you love that shirt so much?”

Sehun pulled Junmyeon to him. “Of course I love that t-shirt so much.”

“More than me?” Junmyeon played with Sehun’s brows.

“Impossible. I love you the most.”

“But then, why? You always ask for that t-shirt. You got tons of t-shirts, other than black plain t-shirt, you know,” Junmyeon raised his brow.

“You remember the summer we met?”

Junmyeon played with Sehun’s right ear. “Okay, is it the day that you bumped into me, making me spill coffee on your shirt?”

“I think you bumped into me, babe.”

“Hello Mr Sexy Jaw, it’s not me. It’s you. You are the one walking into the café without looking in front,” Junmyeon smirked.

“Is it? Shouldn’t people make ways for a handsome sexy man like me? Doesn’t it seem like I own the world? This majestic walking art?” Sehun laughed.

That definitely earned a smack from Junmyeon.

“Sassy rude brat,” Junmyeon huffed. “Continue your story. I don’t get your connection between the incident and the t-shirt. Am I missing the link or what?”

“How can you work closely with people when you cannot make relation of easy stuff like this?“ Sehun joked.

“I hate you. Now, continue, otherwise I will not wash that t-shirt forever.”

“Bossy, but I love it. Okay okay, I love that shirt because that’s the shirt that I wore that day. The very first memory of us together,” Sehun uttered.

“Didn’t know you are such a first-thing type of person,” Junmyeon replied.

“If it’s not because of that day, that incident, we will never exchange numbers. And get into a relationship like we are today,” Sehun said, and went for Junmyeon’s lips.

“I guess I should be thankful of your rude ass for making the whole coffee-spilling incident a freaking reality!” Junmyeon laughed.

“Of course,” Sehun giggled.

--

While waiting for the machine to run, Junmyeon stepped out of the bathroom, finding Sehun walking out from the bedroom and slowly put a bag of shirts on the dining table.

“You done?”

“Yeah, I’m done,” Sehun replied, “But uh, can I use your bathroom?”

“Sure, go ahead,” Junmyeon said, before he sat on the couch, eyes looking outside of the sliding door. The rain was still falling, and the melancholic feeling kept going stronger.

Minutes after, Junmyeon heard Sehun went out of the bathroom, and he instantly stood. “You finished everything?”

Sehun nodded.

“Glad to know that,” Junmyeon rubbed his sweating hands on his cloth and walked into the kitchen. “Um, do you need, drinks? I mean it’s cold outside. So yeah. And we need to wait for the cycle to end.”

“Yeah, sure, thanks Jun.”

And Junmyeon felt a pang on his heart. Sehun used to call him that, sounding so in love. But now, it was just too dry. Too formal. Just a name. Nothing much, just a name. And no hidden meaning. No more excessive emotion poured into it.

To be honest, he missed the way Sehun called him. Jun. Sometimes, babe. It felt nice, really.

Junmyeon continued to open his kitchen cabinet and took two sachets of hot chocolate powder. He poured all the content of the sachet into different mugs, a couple one (one yellow chick mug and one white bunny mug), that they bought together years ago. Was it at the cultural village? Or the normal departmental store? He couldn’t even remember that. He stood in front of the heater, waiting for the water to boil.

One tap, two taps, then his fingers tapping exactly as music notes of Piano Concerto. The sound of the water heater brought him back to reality.

“I guess your last stuff is the shirt,” Junmyeon said.

“Oh,” Sehun looked at the slumped shoulder of his ex, currently standing opposite of him – at the kitchen counter.

Junmyeon slowly poured hot water into the mug, stirring and dropped 2 marshmallows into one of the mug.

Sehun smiled, as he watched Junmyeon unknowingly pouting while putting the marshmallows.

“Here, hot chocolate. I don’t know if I did it correctly. I haven’t done it for a long time,” Junmyeon smiled bitterly as he pushed one mug slowly towards Sehun. Not together with you , Junmyeon wanted to say.

“Thanks,” Sehun titled his head, raising the mug.

Junmyeon nodded, feeling the warmth from the mug he held before he left it on the table and stepped towards the sink. Suddenly his pending task of washing dishes seemed pretty urgent to be done. One plate, two plates.

He let the water flow slowly, out of the tap, and he found himself drifting into memories of them inside his head. Would it be better if they are still together …?

The player in the living room was still diligently playing classical pieces of Piano Concerto all over again. Junmyeon heard Byul’s bell as the dog went out of the room to let her second owner pet her. It felt domestic. Like how they used to be.

Aside for now, they were just exes to each other.

“So, how are you, Jun?” Sehun asked.

Unexpected question from Sehun really took Junmyeon off guard. “Fine, I guess? Normal stuff, normal work,” Junmyeon smiled bitterly as he hugged himself – still standing back-facing Sehun, at the sink.

Sehun nodded. “Good to hear that.”

Junmyeon tapped his feet on the floor. “How about you, Sehunnie?” He felt like he just swallowed a whole lot of venom the moment he uttered that name.

“Me? I’m doing good. Really.”

“Is everything okay? The work?”

“Yeah, it’s all okay. I’m going to China tomorrow. With Chanyeol.”

“Oh, good luck to you and Chanyeol. It has been your life dream to pursue work in China,” Junmyeon said.

Sehun was about to answer back when suddenly he heard a continuous loud beep from the bathroom.

Junmyeon turned, smiling at him. The cycle, it ended. Junmyeon slowly walked to the bathroom. He opened the machine, bringing out the only shirt inside, wringing it. Junmyeon put the shirt on a hanger. He blinked several times as an attempt to not let out a single tear, but it seemed that his tears were eager to see the world. To go out of the tear ducts, betraying him. He then quickly wiped tears that managed to escape his eyes, and cleared his throat.

After making sure he looked just fine, despite his red eyes, he went out of the bathroom and found Sehun standing at the dining table, holding a bag of shirts in his left hand.

“Here, the t-shirt. I’m sorry that you need to take it like this. With a hanger and not even dried,” Junmyeon held out the shirt.

Sehun took it, “No, it’s okay. Really. Thank you Jun, really,” Sehun smiled as he walked towards the door, Junmyeon following behind.

“C-can you just, give me the t-shirt?” Junmyeon said, as he pulled a bit of Sehun’s shirt from back.

Sehun stopped walking.

Silence.

Junmyeon could feel his tears coming out of the tear ducts, again.

“Jun?”

He inhaled, “I only need the t-shirt. Only that t-shirt. Though I need more than the t-shirt, actually.”

Sehun turned to face Junmyeon. “Jun,” he dropped both t-shirt and bag on the floor.

Junmyeon raised his face, looking at Sehun. “Can we, can we start all over again? We can, right? We can fix this, right?”

Sehun hugged the smaller man. “Oh, Jun.”

“Tell me we can start again, Sehun, please” Junmyeon cried, hugging the other man back, tight.

“It’s over Jun, it’s over. Please, find your happiness back. Please, move on, forget me,” Sehun whispered. “It’s better to feel hurt now, than later. Please, be happy. Be happy for me, Jun.”

Junmyeon let out all his tears, not wanting this man he’s hugging now to go. No, this can’t be real. How could he let go? How could he move on when all he’d been wanting in this world is this man named Oh Sehun?

“Jun,” Sehun placed both his hands on Junmyeon’s cheeks.

Junmyeon shook his head.

“Jun, please,” Sehun pleaded.

Junmyeon was shaking his head, denying all of this cruel reality.

“Goodbye Jun, have a good life. I will always remember you,” Sehun left a kiss on the smaller man’s forehead, inhaling all scents from the man, before walking out of the house with his stuff.

Junmyeon plopped on the floor, staring into nothingness.

His love really ended. It has ended. The love story. The relationship. And the rain was still pouring so heavily.

--

Sehun walked out of the elevator, holding a bag full of clothes and one damp t-shirt. It was still raining and he unconsciously walked towards the car that was parked a bit far from the apartment complex entrance.

Suddenly, he felt the rain no longer drop on him. He looked on his right side.

“What are you doing walking in the rain? You could just call me,” Kyungsoo said. “And why in the world are you so tall? My short ass cannot relate, you know. Imagine my sacrifice on holding this umbrella for both of us.”

Sehun chuckled. “Thanks Soo. I appreciate it, really. Worry not, this will be the last time you hold it for me.”

Kyungsoo groaned. “Stop right there. I don’t want to start a melancholic sappy weekend drama now. Come on, we are late for your appointment. I definitely will be killed by Minseok, for accompanying you out of the ward, and by Chanyeol, for stealing his makeup to put it on you. Surely Minseok is fuming now, and perhaps choking Jongdae, asking why the fuck you are late for your appointment and where in world you are.”

“Well, if Jongdae is a bit clever, he can use that time to woo Minseok, instead of continuously showing his goofy dumb side to the doctor,” Sehun laughed.

“All people in this world can figure that out, except Kim Jongdae, the dumbass. Come on, we are really late, Oh Sehun. No kidding.” Kyungsoo directed him to walk towards the car, and Sehun followed.

“The t-shirt is just an excuse, isn’t it?” Kyungsoo shot now that they are near the car.

Right before he entered the car, Sehun took a look at Junmyeon’s apartment once again. “I miss him. And I kind of want to see how he is. Opposite to my expectation, he’s not doing well.”

“Who in the world will do well after they had a terrible, perhaps trauma-inducing break up?”

“I really hope he will do well, really I do,” Sehun smiled, bitterly. “After all, one of us should have a happy ending,” Sehun said before he entered the car.

“Stupid Junmyeon, stupid Sehun. Stupid illness. Stupid world.” Kyungsoo mumbled. “This is why I never trust this world.” He then closed the car door, and entered the car, driving away from the apartment complex.

Sehun looked outside, at every drop of the rain on the car’s window, praying quietly, that this rain will wash away Junmyeon’s sadness, and the rainbow that comes after the rain will give happiness to the one that he loves the most, Kim Junmyeon.

‘Kim Junmyeon, live well, and I love you, always.’

--

Junmyeon pant under the scorching sun, feeling the full force of the blazing heat of the summer. He definitely would kill someone today. After making him walk around the neighbourhood for almost 2 hours finding unknown vintage shops as per his client’s demand, the client decided to choose the very first furniture that Junmyeon suggested, and not some vintage stuff he demanded in their last appointment. And he still didn’t manage to find that vintage shop.

Surely GPS would help, or anything. If only the client gave him the address. Instead of describing the shop because the buildings in this neighbourhood looked exactly the same. How could he know the difference?

He could feel his throat was dying for some cold drinks. Well, basically every cell of his body was asking for some liquid called water.

Junmyeon pressed the virtual keyboard of his phone fast, before a deep sound could be heard from the other line. “Hello?”

“Jongin, I will never ever, serve that client. Blacklist him please. I hate him so much that I can still feel my blood boiling whenever I remember the shit thing he did to me. No more working with him in future. And that’s final! Even if he comes again, I don’t want to attend him. Ask other people. Yixing perhaps. Oh, that saint friend of mine perhaps will do the very best to serve the menacing man, absolutely,” Junmyeon said as he walked into a café.

He could hear the man from the other line chuckled. “Okay Jun, sure sure. I will direct him to Yixing in future. No worries, okay? Got to go, don’t forget our meeting later at 3 PM. Don’t be late!”

Junmyeon ended the call. Tsk. Whatever. One time Jongin would say okay to all, but later that cunning man would ask him to attend the grumpy man.

He glanced at the menu, before quickly ordering his normal coffee, iced Americano. The café looked a bit empty, perhaps it was not peak hour yet, and Junmyeon pleasantly picked up his order before sitting at one table near the window.

It was summer, and Junmyeon was still waiting for his love to come. He hummed, tapping on his knee. Would it come this summer? Or next spring? Or perhaps on his 28 th winter? He eyed outside of the café, and there was one man that caught his attention. Broad shoulder, wearing black t-shirt and jeans, one cap on head. The outfit was too normal, but Junmyeon was surprised this man could make it look that fantastic. Junmyeon definitely could not relate to that.

He slurped his coffee, scrolling the tab while checking the latest progress of his project (no, not the grumpy man’s one) before his phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Jun? Where are you?” the other man on the line said.

“Still in the same freaking neighbourhood of the non-existing vintage shop. And leisurely drinking coffee because what a life I have now,” Junmyeon leaned on the chair.

“The meeting. One hour from now. Move your ass, fast!”

Junmyeon looked at his watch. 1 PM. “Fuck it Jongin, you said it’s freaking 3 PM?!”

“Intern messed up. One hour. Get back here in one hour,” the call ended.

Junmyeon rolled his eyes. Someone really needed to be killed today. And it was definite. He would kill the intern. Full stop. He put his tab and grabbed his sling bag, holding the coffee with his right hand as he rushed to go out of the café when suddenly someone bumped into him.

“Shit” Junmyeon said as he looked at the cup, which already had its contents half spilled. Some on the floor, and some on the other man’s shirt.

“Oh my god I’m sorry, really,” the man replied.

Oh, nice voice.

Junmyeon shook his head, attempting to leave this café as soon as he could because he was obviously running out of time. “It’s okay, really. Sorry too, I should have been careful as well. Sorry for your shirt too. Please, let me know your number so I can compensate you in anything.”

The man smiled, let out his business card and slipped it into Junmyeon’s bag. “My number on the card.”

“Oh, I forgot my card. I’m so sorry,” Junmyeon muttered as he searched his bag. “Can you punch in my number in your phone or something?”

“I don’t have my phone with me, actually now. But worry now, just say your number. I mean, I have a good memory and definitely will remember a handsome man’s number,” the man chuckled.

Uh-oh, Junmyeon’s heart started pounding, a bit loud now. No no, don’t do the somersault yet. No. “Sure”

Junmyeon did say his phone number, in one breath as an attempt to get out of the café as fast as he can. “That’s it, call me, anytime you want. Then, have a good day.” Junmyeon started to walk out of the café and he felt someone hold his hand. Junmyeon turned, and the man smiled. “You need to tell me your name, or else what should I save your number?”

“Oh, silly me. Junmyeon. Kim Junmyeon. Or you can save it as ‘t-shirt’, really, I don’t mind. After all, we exchanged numbers because of that. I’m so sorry I really need to go now. I’m late for an appointment. Till then.” Junmyeon bowed a bit, then dashed out of the café.

Sehun chuckled and brought out his phone. Forgetting his phone? Is this the 80s? People bring phones anywhere now. Tsk, such a cliché way of wanting to talk for a longer time to one handsome man. Pretending to bump into people? Again, another cliché way of flirting. What a good day to fall in love, really. Coffee-soaked t-shirt? It was nothing to be compared to finally meeting his love interest.

--

Junmyeon found himself sitting in a café, a set-up he knew real well. The Universe, the café where they both met for the very first time, and where they had their very first date. He looked around, everything looked exactly the same. The interior – the small bunny figurine at the counter that he always tapped whenever he ordered something at the counter, the rack at the corner of the café - full of books that were witness to Junmyeon’s cringe pickup lines for his loved one, the cheerful waiter named M that had the quite the same face as Jongin, his boss, and grumbling cashier – also the owner of the café. It’s raining flowers outside, all coming from the cherry blossom in the park in front of the café.

Much to his surprise, Sehun in his simplest attire – black t-shirt, jeans, cap was currently sitting in front of him.

 “S-sehunnie?” Junmyeon uttered, hesitant.

The said man raised his head, smiling even. “Is something wrong with the cake? You want to change it? The cake, no good?”

Junmyeon blinked.

“Are you tired? Should we come again later and try the new cake? Or, is everything okay at work? You look awful. I should submit complaints to Jongin. Do you need a power hug from me?” Sehun opened his arms wide.

Junmyeon shook his head. “No, I’m fine, really. I just, surprised, to see you here.”

Sehun put both his hands on the table, then placed his chin on them. “Why would you be surprised? Do you not want to meet me again?”

“No, of course not,” Junmyeon cleared his throat, grabbing the fork.

“I come from far, only to meet you. Jun, I miss you.”

Junmyeon stunned as he felt a jab on his heart, and suddenly the tears just rolled down his cheeks, uninvited. “I miss you too.”

“Hey hey, why are you crying? Do you miss me that bad?”

Junmyeon nodded.

Sehun took Junmyeon’s hand in his, wiping the other man’s tears as he breathed heavily. “I missed you too, so much, so much that it hurts.”

“Then why did you leave me?”

Sehun looked astounded. “Jun...”

“Then why did you leave me? Leaving me heartbroken?” Junmyeon asked.

Sehun put Junmyeon’s hand on the table, slowly. He traced the line on the coffee cup. “Because I don’t want you to cry every single day. I can’t let an angel cry otherwise it will be raining all day long. Though this guilt of leaving you is killing me day by day,” Sehun replied. “You deserve happiness, Jun.”

Junmyeon wiped his tears, shaking his head. “What do you mean? How can I find happiness when my happiness is you?”

“I am indeed one foolish man. I’m sorry Jun, I’m so sorry that I left you. I’m glad I can tell you this,” Sehun smiled, as he raised his hand to hold Junmyeon’s cheek. “I’m glad that I can see you again Jun. I love you Jun, so much.”

“Can you not go? Can’t you stay?” Junmyeon sobbed.

“Goodbye Jun, for real.  I love you. Really I do,” Sehun smiled.

“Jun? Junmyeon?”

Junmyeon heard someone calling for him, no, not Sehun. He looked around. All the people in the café were not moving, Sehun included. He felt someone shaking him, urging him to wake up too. The image of Sehun in front of him slowly faded and he opened his eyes. The empty white ceiling greeted him. He felt Byul nudging him at his feet and Baekhyun currently sitting on his bed, face full of worry.

Junmyeon started to sob, curling and hugged himself.

“Jun, are you okay? You keep screaming in your sleep-”

“It was a dream. All was just a dream. God, I don’t want that dream to stop. I dreamt of him. It was a dream. All was a dream. I miss him so badly. He kept saying he wants to leave me. He said he loves me, and I couldn’t even manage to say it back,” the tears kept rolling down his cheeks.

Baekhyun engulfed his friend in a hug, patting Junmyeon’s back slowly. “Oh Jun, it has been months..”

After a while, Junmyeon wiped his tears, pulling away from the hug. Baekhyun is sappy when he does this kind of thing, such as hugging for minutes. “Why are you here?”

Junmyeon could see Baekhyun playing with the hem of his shirt, gulping his saliva non-stop.

“Baek, is something wrong?” Junmyeon asked.

Baekhyun tried to smile, but failed miserably. “C-chanyeol is here. To meet you.”

Junmyeon raised his brow and stepped out of his bedroom quickly, only to find Chanyeol sitting on the couch, staring at the portrait of Junmyeon and Sehun which was hung right on the wall. Exactly 5 months after his ex came to his apartment, Junmyeon definitely did not expect the sight of Chanyeol, his ex’s best friend in his own house. For a moment, he thought he was dreaming again. But Chanyeol is not supposed to be here, in Korea. He approached the man on the couch, slowly.

“C-chanyeol?” Junmyeon uttered.

The said man swiftly turned his head to Junmyeon, face full of worries. “Jun.”

Junmyeon blinked. Is something wrong? Why is Chanyeol here? “What, urm, what are you doing in my apartment? On top of it, with Baekhyun. When did you arrive in Korea?”

He can see Chanyeol biting his nails, kicking some non-existent rocks on the floor. “I need to tell you something.”

Junmyeon nodded, “Okay, but do you want anything?”

“No, thank you. I’m, I’m running out of time,” Chanyeol replied.

Junmyeon slowly sat on the couch, eyeing Chanyeol. He let his fingers dance on the table, a habit he developed as an avid lover of piano. He waited for Chanyeol to actually tell him the exact reason for him being here. In his apartment. Months after Junmyeon’s breakup with Sehun.

“Sehun is dying.”

He stopped tapping. Those three words made Junmyeon feel his entire world crumbling. He blinked. “W-what do you mean?”

“There’s no hope for him. We are counting days for him now.”

“Is this a joke? Because it’s not funny. Do we have a secret camera over here? Because I’m fuming right n-“

“Jun!” Chanyeol gripped both Junmyeon’s hands. “It’s true.”

Junmyeon gaped, shaking his head. ”N-no, the last time he came, he was good. All good. Nothing wrong with him. Noth-“

“He did a great job in hiding it, really. We admitted him to the hospital where Minseok works, months ago. Right after he broke up with you, but nothing has been improving, really.”

Junmyeon felt his cheeks wet. He closed his mouth to cover his sobs. “So you guys are in Korea all this time? And he broke up with me, because he’s dying? Oh, oh my god.”

Chanyeol nodded, taking Junmyeon’s hand in his. “If it’s not too much for you, can you, can you come, even once to meet him before he leaves us? Minseok said it’s about time to let him see another person he cherished. I know it’s too selfish for me to say this, I know.”

Junmyeon cried even more. “I dreamt about him. He said sorry. Sorry for leaving me, sorry for everything. I-I don’t know he is sick. He never tells me. And, and-”

“Before he went unconscious, he said every single thing reminds him of you, he said. All he did was crying in his sleep, calling for you. Hugging a shirt every single minute, refused to let it go. I asked him many times, should I bring you to meet him, but every time he just brushed it off, saying we shouldn’t tell you a bit regarding this. Now that he’s unconscious, as his friend, I’m afraid of him leaving this world without feeling touch of his loved one.”

Junmyeon sobbed.

Chanyeol moved to sit beside Junmyeon, and embraced him.

“Oh no, what do we do Chanyeol? What can we do? We can still save him, right? Tell me that, please. Please. I will not lose him again, right? He will wake up, right?” He sobbed, tears staining Chanyeol’s shirt.

“Oh Jun, I’m so sorry,” Chanyeol patted the smaller man on the back apologetically.

--

Junmyeon looked at Chanyeol and the doctor, Minseok once again, and both of them nodded. He slowly pushed the door of the ward’s room, and stepped inside. A steady beeping of the heart rate monitor filled the room. He saw the man he loves the most on the bed, looking frail. Chest moving up and down. And he could see a black t-shirt that he recognized in his ex’s hand. The shirt. The one he loved. And he felt his heart break even more.

He managed to cover his mouth, a poor attempt to muffle his sobs.

Junmyeon staggered towards the bed, wiping his tears. He would not cry, no, Sehun would hear him. Last thing that Sehun wanted in this world was probably seeing him crying. He sat on the bed, taking Sehun’s hand in his. “You selfish man. You really think I will live happily without you? Oh Sehun, you jerk. Wake up now, wake up now and hear me ranting and screaming at you. Wake up now.”

Silence.

He bit his lips, “You said you will marry me. You said we will get married after 3 autumns. It’s already the third winter, and I’m still an eligible bachelor. So on this beautiful day, will you marry me?” Junmyeon asked, pushing a strand of Sehun’s long hair behind his ear. “I brought rings,” He put 2 rings on his palm.

“I know you will say ‘Oh, is that ring pretty? I only wear pretty rings. I bet your rings didn’t look as nice as mine. I should be the one proposing to you. But yes, the answer is yes, Jun. I will.’”, Junmyeon chuckled, but his laugh immediately turned sad. “But I want to hear you say it. I miss you, and all of you.”

Still no reply.

Junmyeon smiled bitterly, putting both rings on his ring finger, and Sehun’s. “Of course it looks nice, it’s for you. There, it looks good on you,” He raised Sehun’s right hand, for the other man to see.

Though the other man remained unresponsive.

“It looks nice, indeed. I’m glad I chose this design. It has been years since I keep it in the drawer, the place where I put the lube,” Junmyeon let out a chuckle. Junmyeon took a long breath, “I’m glad that I can see you again. Now wake up, marry me for real. I know you can hear this. Don’t go towards the light, please. I love you Sehunnie, so mu-”

And the monitor let out a long beep.

Junmyeon felt his tears rushed out of his eyes, and he shook his head. “No no, Sehun, no. Don’t leave me, no, not yet. Sehun! Sehun, come back! I said don’t go towards the light, no,” Junmyeon wailed, hugging the dead man, begging the man to come back, and calling heaven to give his man back.

Chanyeol and Minseok entered the room after, tried to calm him. As Chanyeol pulled him from Sehun, he plopped on the floor, clutching the black t-shirt that now reeks of Sehun’s scent. He cried even more, hugging the shirt, inhaling the scent that his lover’s left. The remaining scent.

This time, it was real, Sehun left him, forever. Permanently. Though their love story already had its finale, his love would never end.

‘Oh Sehun, I love you, forever. If we can’t be together at the end, I’m glad that I was a part of your life, and you were a part of my life. Dearest, goodbye.’

Who knows, a t-shirt would be such a witness for a cruel fate of heaven?