Archive of Our Own

Physiotherapy always left Lisa with a bouncy sensation that her leg still couldn't support, though it was getting there. Just a couple more, just in time for summer, the good doctor had pronounced. He might have a point. The asphalt road was looking particularly shiny today. The sky was blinding even through the glass window, the clinic's air conditioner refreshing instead of chilly.

The cramped waiting room held no one else but her; nobody would mind if she hung around a little waiting for Hina. Hina was late. Summer meant lengthy vacation for high school students, and an increased workload for high school idols. With Lisa out of commission, the other Pastel*Palettes' members carried on their solo work. Even a newcomer to the industry such as Hina had managed to find a steady flow of jobs. Though thus far she'd managed to find the time to accompany Lisa to her therapy sessions without fail. Lisa suspected she still felt guilty. Despite her random behavior, Hina had a dutiful streak to her. It was one of the few things she had in common with Sayo. In accordance to her wandering thoughts, Lisa opened her chat history with Sayo. The last was this morning, a vague promise to look at the cookie recipe Lisa had sent her before their next study meeting. Supposedly that was in a few days, but Lisa was officially lonely enough that she wouldn't mind a pointless reminder. Sayo wasn't giving her that, though — Sayo was polite, but efficient.

A tall, dark shadow interrupted the vista of blazing daylight before her. Lisa blinked. There was another, shorter, a woman judging by the sillhouette. Their conversation, or rather argument, seeped through the glass window at random bursts of an unfamiliar dialect. Kansai? Or even Okinawa? The woman seemed to have the final word, and left. The tall shadow malingered, and just when Lisa thought he'd leave he entered. On first glance there seemed to be nothing wrong with Tall, Dark, and Handsome… well maybe except for that. Darkness shrouded his face which couldn't entirely be blamed on the cap he was wearing. Yukina'd worn a face like that when she'd thought Lisa wasn't looking, in those times before she'd started pursuing vengeance in earnest — before she'd flown farther and faster than Lisa could follow.

Busybody that she was, Lisa couldn't help calling out, "Here for an appointment? Looks like it's lunch hour so the staff's out for a bit."

He blinked at her as if surprised at being addressed. He took off his baseball cap before replying. Fighters… wait, is it even a baseball team?

"I see," he said slowly, glancing only briefly on the crutch by her shoulder. "And are you also waiting for yours?"

"Oh, I just got out of it. I'm waiting for a friend. Sorry for being nosy, it's just that you seemed a bit lost. But if you're looking for Dr. Terada, you have the right place."

She beckoned him to sit next to her. The edges of his lips quirked as he shuffled closer. There was only one sofa n the room. Lisa shifted the crutch to her other side. He sat as far away from her as the space allowed, really only half sitting on the sofa. Up close he seemed about her age. His long-sleeved shirt stood out in this weather. An arm, or both, then? "You don't sound like you're from Tokyo. How'd you find this place?"

Gimlet eyes pierced her. Oops, too much Sherlock-ing? As she was about to apologize, he said, "Hakodate, here to visit my aunt."

"Ah, the woman with you earlier? I didn't catch what you were saying but your dialect kinda stood out a bit."

"Guess we were kinda loud," he muttered, twirling the cap on one finger. "She thought I should at least consult the doctor first while I'm in town. I told her it'd be pointless, but she wouldn't have any of it."

"Why'd you say that?"

His eyes dropped to his right elbow. "Ah… I play baseball. Or I used to. And now, there's no way it'll heal in time for Koushien." He spoke casually, the pugnacious kind of casual that boys her age liked. But his eyes fell on her cast, and his tone changed back to its previous stiff politeness. "But I hope yours is doing better."

"It is, so I can vouch for the doctor. But let's just say I can sort of understand how you feel. I've got a band, and it feels like they're going to go ahead without me one of these days. I mean, I wouldn't want to be the reason everyone got stalled but it also feels lonely being left behind… ahaha, I guess this is why girls are bothersome."

Spilling her guts to a stranger was embarrassing on its own, and on top of that she had to do it to a boy, and an athlete at that. Going to an all-girl school since middle school, she didn't have much contact with boys her age, just enough to know that there was a high probability her current conversation partner would find her freely speaking of her emotions annoying.

Indeed he had a frown on his face. "I don't know about girls or boys things or anything, but it just means you loved your band, doesn't it?"

He said it in such a matter of fact manner that Lisa couldn't reply with anything other than, "You're right." She tried changing the topic then, asking him about Hakodate, or the places he'd seen in Tokyo, or what he was hoping to see.

They didn't get too far. The door opened suddenly. The newcomer seemed familiar, though the recognition didn't hit her without a generous amount of staring. Dressed in a three-piece suit that seemed to make her taller, long hair tied in such a way to emphasize her severe angles, it took Lisa a full second to recognize Sayo, and she was only sure because only one person spoke her name in this exact officious disciplinary committee voice. "Imai-san, I apologize for my lateness. Although it seems that you're still engaged."

Lisa came back to herself. "Ah, no, I'm — oh, where are my manners." She turned to the boy from Hakodate. "The name's Imai Lisa, and this is my friend…" She trailed off. The name she'd learned by heart didn't seem appropriate at the moment.

"Saito," said her erstwhile friend, leveling an incandescent glower at the stranger.

The boy from Hakodate met the glare with amusement. It probably was funny that Lisa was only now introducing herself to someone she'd just met in a waiting room and likely would never see again. "Kikyo Rio. Nice to meet you." His grip was firm, though not overpowering, and he shook her hand in earnest. Then he glanced at 'Saito' and the slant of his mouth turned sideways. "I'd ask for your Line ID — "

"Sure thing! I can tell you the all the must-see places in Tokyo."

'Saito' watched impatiently from the side, and practically whisked Lisa away the moment they were done exchanging contact details.

Outside was even more blistering and brighter than she'd expected. The hold on her arm was tighter, too, even though Lisa no longer needed support. "Well, Hina didn't say she'd send a gentleman in a suit."

Lisa had meant to joke, but her humor wilted under her companion's intense glare. The rebuke that followed was taut with worry. "Do you always come quietly with any strange man who takes your hand?"

"'cuz I knew it was you, and you're my friend. You're not strange at all," Lisa answered carefully. "Sorry, was I not supposed to recognize you?"

Her friend's scowl deepened to a previously unexplored depths. Sweat lined her — his? — forehead, and his — her? — grip was sticky. Twice his — her? — mouth opened without saying anything, licking and biting his lips, something Sayo would never do in front of Lisa. Wearing a three-piece suit in this weather must've been torture.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have appeared before you like this." Stammering, too, something Sayo would never do. And most of all, dropping her hand like hot potato and trying to leave. Would Sayo have abandoned Lisa, still unsteady on her legs, in the middle of the street, far away from home? Abandoned the duty she'd taken over from Hina? She grasped for the hem of his jacket, caught her foot on the crutch instead and tipped over. Time seemed to slow down and Lisa bade goodbye to her already dwindling savings to pay for another surgery. Then a pair of sturdy arms caught her.

"Imai-san! Be careful," scolded her friend as he held her shoulder and retrieved the crutch for her. Lisa clutched tighter. There we go, that's more like it. Lisa was reminded of Kaoru out of school hours. Though Kaoru's style seemed less stifling, and she wore it with more panache. But she remembered now. Maya had told her of 'Hina-san's formidable older sister' helping out the drama club. Could that be it?

"Sorry! But I think I get it now. Is it something for Kaoru's play for our cultural festival, or something like that?"

Green eyes awashed with something like relief, Saito nodded. "I suppose, in a manner of speaking… and I suppose I owe you an explanation."

Whatever was going on, an open street wasn't the place for it. Lisa linked their arms and earned a familiar half-hearted glare for it. Ah, now that was familiar. Heartened, Lisa said, "Look, it's lunch hour and I'm famished. There's this cute cafe that TOKO — ah, that's an influencer, don't tell me I have to explain what influencers are — anyway let me treat you for picking me up. And I want to hang out with you. Just because," she added to forestall protests. Sometimes her friend was too scrupulous by half. "Please? Unless you really don't want to spend some time with me?"

Saito's shoulders slumped. "Awfully manipulative, are you. Fine. But I'm paying for the taxi ride home." Lisa let it slide this once. After all, she got a lunch date out of it.

The cafe was one of the stylish, vaguely European chic cafes trending on SNS du jour. By luck they entered just as a couple exited and took over their two-seater table. Lisa had to stifle a giggle when Saito pulled her seat for her and arranged the crutch at a comfortable reach.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just wished I'd dressed up so we could take pictures."

Ah, that familiar exasperated look. Indeed, despite dressed to fit the setting, almost presciently so, Saito seemed so ill at ease as to spoil the picture. Lisa scanned the menu, sure that the topic had passed by — she hadn't meant it seriously to begin with — so when he picked up the thread she couldn't immediately follow. Fidgeting, scowling at the menu, he said, "I don't see what's wrong with the way you're dressed right now. Although I can't say I've ever understood your need for gaudy fashion when you look perfectly fine unadorned."

Lisa put down the menu. "Okay, let's say that was a compliment — "

"But it is."

" — supposing that was a compliment. Thanks, but I didn't need you telling me that either. I don't wear make up because I feel like I'm ugly or missing something. I know I look 'perfectly fine', that's why I want to see myself in all sorts of looks and style, because I can do much better than 'perfectly fine'. Maybe today I wanted to look cute but sizzling hot for other ocassions. Bottom line is I'll always want to look amazing."

"You regard your face as though it's another piece of clothing."

"Well, yeah, that's the point? It's still my face, it's still my body, it's still me, just — okay, for example, the make up I put on for Roselia and Pastel*Palettes were diametrically opposite to fit the band's aesthetics, but each time I'm still the same bassist. I even make the same mistakes, if you could believe that."

Saito said nothing. He'd returned to staring holes into the menu some time during Lisa's rant. Lisa tried not to be too annoyed. Someone of Sayo's disposition wouldn't have spent so much time with Lisa if she'd truly thought her odious. But their friendship was still unlikely, and hadn't gone long or deep enough to erase Sayo's prejudices of her and vice versa. But, well, that was Sayo. So far Saito seemed to be a slightly different character wearing Sayo's courtesy and kindness as a spiky armor. Or maybe it was the other way around, maybe this was the raw self unconstrained by the mould of 'Sayo'?

…Naaah. It doesn't really work like that, does it? In the first place you had to dig deep… pretty deep… to get to Sayo's kind side. Maybe this was just one issue they would never see eye to eye. Lisa had thought Sayo hadn't cared about her appearance at all, but perhaps the sticking point was authenticity all along. If Sayo believed only her plain face was authentic — outside of Roselia performances, somehow — then Lisa would… be a bit disappointed at the mismatch of opinions, but would temper her make up suggestions. That's not counting if Saito isn't here to stay, anyway…

A waiter had come to get their orders. The couple of times Lisa had gone with Roselia to a fast food chain, Sayo had complained about the waste of time or the nutrition in junk food or lack thereof. And then by the end the mountain of french fries strategically placed in front of Sayo would've been cleaned out. The perennial grimace smoothened in the waiter's presence, and he ordered the burger and fries set without hesitation. Then everything drooped once they were left alone, eyebrows, mouth, shoulders, the entire mood. It was honestly more heartwrenching than anything. Once again worry had made Lisa overstep her boundaries and put her curiosity over her friend's comfort.

But when Lisa proposed that they request take out and go on their separate ways, Saito looked even more upset. "Even though you were begging me to come here in the first place?"

"Yeah, but there's no point if you're not having a good time."

Saito shook his head. "Truly, you're incorrigible. No. I wanted to be here. Spending time with you is the purpose of this exercise."

Lisa leaned forward. "Maybe we can start there. What kind of a character is this Saito… no last name?"

"Not a character, I'm… this is me, as myself. As you know, Seta-san requested my help to play a male character. Needless to say I'm hopeless at it. On the other hand Seta-san slips into her role as easily as breathing. Therefore to deliver the perfect performance, I decided to borrow her methods. For the past couple of days I have styled myself in this manner, and in general tried to act as a man would. Although this is the first time I appear before an acquaintance in this form."

Lisa saw a vivid vision of Saito, three-piece suit buttoned up against the summer heat, strutting down Ginza, slouching while waiting for trains, whatever it was he thought men do. Something about his hesitation made her suspect it wasn't the full story. "Well then, I'm honored that you trust me! … So how's it been going?"

"You recognized me right away and treated me as though nothing has changed," he said dryly. "And you haven't called me by either name."

Lisa floundered. She hadn't expected her friend to notice — and why was she floundering anyway? Though it didn't seem like he was expecting a response. Still smiling mirthlessly, he continued, "But you were right. I should have started with a character. Beginning with the name… Family name Hiyama, personal name Saito, all katakana, his parents chose the name for its sound alone. A fussy little man sensitive to remarks on his height. He dresses smart for all occasions. Studies just enough to enter a decent high school, and spends the rest of his time with the football club. He doesn't plan to go pro, but he enjoys the team work. And he has no siblings."

Lisa tried to see it. A bright and likeable character, happy-go-lucky, someone who seemed like he could get along with everyone, and indeed was somewhat popular. Yet the Saito before her eyes seemed to fade, the loneliness in his voice growing harder to ignore with each word. He seemed unbearably sad. Even if he wasn't already her friend Lisa would've reached out. She grabbed his hand so without thinking.

"Saito-kun sounds like y—er, Sayo's exact opposite." And also not actually the person who'd picked her up at the clinic and now gone with her on a date, but she kept that to herself.

"That is, in fact, the point of this exercise," he said, stoic, but squeezing her hand in return.

The waiter arrived then with their lunch. The pause seemed to have allowed Saito to get his character together. With a look of deathly determination, like chewing through grass he began to inquire of how her day was going. The previous weekend. What she liked to do in her spare time. Coupled with the awkwardness, it was like a blind date. So Lisa steered the conversation into music. Saito's character sheet hadn't mention music at all — on purpose, Lisa suspected — but Saito's expression lit up and he became a more animated conversation partner. An opinionated one, even. Lisa sat back and only interjected as much as necessary to keep him talking.

Lunch flew by in this manner. It wasn't just music, at some point Saito seemed to become aware of how much more he'd spoken, and shyly asked about Lisa's skin care routine. Lisa had to bite back her giggle, but she seized the once in a lifetime opportunity to bore her normally reserved friend's ears off.

"I had fun today," she told him as they got off the taxi in front of Lisa's house. As promised, Saito insisted on paying the fare. She asked, "How about you?"

His expression was inscrutable, then it gentled. It was the most relaxed she'd seen him all day. Softly, he said, "So did I. Thank you, Imai-san."

He took her hand and planted a kiss like a feather falling on her knuckles. Just as lightly he was gone, the back of his crimson neck disappearing into the distance. Lisa stared transfixed. She cursed herself for forgetting to confirm the time for their next study meeting.

Hina: Lisa-chi! What did you do with Onee-chan?
Lisa: Nothing!
Lisa: We grabbed lunch
Lisa: That's it
Lisa: What's wrong
Hina: Nothing!
Hina: But get this Onee-chan came into my room
Hina: On purpose
Hina: Just to talk to me
Hina: And we talked
Hina: Real long
Hina: But it was boppin'
Hina: And Onee-chan said it's thanks to you
Hina: So thank you, exceptional magpie Lisa-chi!
Lisa: I honestly didn't do anything but you're welcome?
Lisa: So things are cool between you and Sayo now?
Lisa: If you even had a problem in the first place ahaha

Hina: btw Lisa-chi Eve-chan is gonna be drop by our rehearsal today
Lisa: Lit!
Lisa: Who's Eve tho
Hina: She's cute

Lisa stared at the screen, exasperated but too used to Hina's haphazard methods to take offense. As a shot in the dark she tried asking Chisato, though she would be lucky if Chisato even replied to her message in the same week, or at all. Aya dodged the question in the most Aya way possible: no they're definitely not holding an audition to replace you lisachan. Maya's panic, palpable through text, and her reassurance that nothing was set in stone yet, was the clinching blow.

So. One month into medically-mandated house arrest and the agency was already looking for her replacement. The idol world was surprisingly cutthroat. Well, Chisato had tried to warn her, Lisa thought wryly. Lisa had been on probationary period when the accident happened, still was in fact, which didn't exactly protect her from sudden firing.

Nevertheless, summer vacation trudged on. Lisa put off homework so as to have a reason for contacting Sayo — and Sayo, she put off contacting because something told her Sayo needed her space. Her other friends, while perfectly nice and friendly, were also self-respecting teenagers who found more fulfillment going to the sea, or the mountain, or Harajuku, or anywhere that wasn't staying indoors in summer. Her one true friend, her only constant companion, was her bass.

She found herself thinking of Yukina. For Yukina summer vacation meant uninterrupted salaryman-like hours in the studio. Last she'd asked Ako, Roselia still hadn't found a bassist. Lisa was certain by this point Yukina would have been as good at bass as she was, even while singing. Or perhaps Roselia's sound had congealed enough together that they'd decide they no longer needed a bassist. Having no demands for her bass didn't make her want to quit, not yet. Still she took increasingly more breaks during practice today.

Owing to that, Lisa saw with her own eyes the moment a message from Chisato arrived, and even then she still couldn't believe it. It was short, asking Lisa for a time she could visit. Lisa replied that she would be at home the entire day.

Less than an hour later, her door bell rang. Lisa toddled downstairs, careful to favor her right leg. She took a peek out the view hole, and immediately unlocked the door. Wearing an oversized hat and sunglasses and a cloth mask that covered everything below the eyes, it was clearly Chisato. Lisa let her in with a sense of urgency, otherwise why would the perpetual motion machine Chisato stop by her house?

"I'll be quick," said Chisato after ripping off her disguise. Her posture sitting down was perfect, the light showing off her beautiful profile. Lisa felt like she was photographing an overpriced model to advertise her modest living room. "Someone from the agency saw you on a date with your boyfriend, that's why they acted quickly."

The word 'boyfriend' sounded so incomprehensible to Lisa, like Chisato had spoken in the language of the moon people. Patiently, and severely misunderstanding the source of Lisa's confusion, Chisato explained, "Did you read the contract before you signed it? Even then, I'm sure it must've been impressed to you that as an idol you are expressly forbidden from having a boyfriend."

"But I just met him that day!" Lisa said, revolted. She felt exposed, for one, that somehow people knew what she'd been doing in a physiotherapy clinic. And she couldn't help but feel sorry and worried for Rio for being tangled in her business. "And he's from Hakodate so there's no way I could've — a boyfriend of all things!"

Chisato gave her a sidelong look. "That's the conclusion people tend to jump to when they see a girl and a boy sitting together in a cafe and holding hands, yes. I'll make no comment as to how reasonable it is when you can do anything with another girl with impunity short of sticking your tongue down her throat in public."

Oh, so it's not the boy from Hakodate but Tokyo… as if that matters! If Lisa wasn't so anxious for Saito's sake she'd have commented on Chisato's particular example. But the rumor being about her friend made her feel even more dismayed. "Were there photos or anything?"

"Just one, and I've seen it. It looks very wholesome, and to be quite honest not even your face is identifiable, let alone the unfortunate fellow. Now, let's not follow their example and jump to your own conclusions. Fortunately for you, it's all internal so far. You're not famous enough yet to have paparazzi tracking you. I'd think all you need to do is apologize to the boss and swear you'd break up with your boyfriend right away. In fact, do so before you go up to him."

Lisa swallowed her denial three times over. Finally, she sidestepped the 'boyfriend' part entirely. "But aren't they already looking to replace me?"

"That's just for insurance. They'd been planning for Pastel*Palettes' comeback concert, regardless of whether there was anything to come back to." Chisato added, "And I suppose they weren't sure you'd return. Objectively speaking, Eve-chan fits the part of an idol better than you do. No offense."

"I'm more offended that you felt the need to add that."

Lisa buried her face. It had only just sunken in. The fact that she could be losing her first pro musician gig, and that she'd been looking forward to coming back to it more than she'd realized. And all because, what, she should be married to the job? to the imagination of her fans who'd chuck her the moment they thought she'd been defiled by a touch she'd initiated? It stuck out to her that her fans — all the imaginary legions of them — hadn't caught wind of this either, and already the agency was freaking out on her.

She felt rather than heard Chisato's snort. "Honestly, Lisa-chan, the problem here is that you were stupid enough to break the rules as a probationary idol. Management is typically willing to look the other way as long as you don't flaunt it. Though probably not while you're still just starting out either, that doesn't make a good impression."

Lisa wondered about that, too. Chisato had taken time out of her busy schedule to come see Lisa when she could've easily washed her hands off this nonsense, especially when it didn't seem Lisa's choices would affect Pastel*Palettes at all. Sure, Lisa knew that under the glitter and porcelain there was warm blood pumping through her veins and a beating heart. It was just usually reserved for the hapless and the little sisters like Aya or Hina.

Lifting her head, Lisa said, "Putting my nonexistent boyfriend woes aside, Why are you here, Chisato? Had an epiphany that PasuPare was your dream job all along?"

"You think you're so clever, don't you, Lisa-chan. Well, if you must know, it's nothing quite so mawkish as that, but I am hoping to get more mileage while I still look the part of an idol."

Chisato would still naturally look young and beautiful in ten years, a talent Lisa was slightly envious of. Instead she said, "Wouldn't the transition be difficult, after, into serious adult actress?"

"It's cute how you're concerned for me despite not understanding how the industry works." Chisato's smile seemed chipped, like something she hadn't planned on showing. Maybe she was feeling magnanimous today. "Persistence and hard work will be rewarded to be sure, but sometimes you must also take unintuitive paths to reward yourself. Which brings us back to you, Lisa-chan."

"Right, so, since we're being honest with each other, I gotta say, I know you've never thought I was fit for the industry."

"No, that's Aya-chan. I've always thought you, Lisa-chan, could do so much better elsewhere. This latest episode hasn't changed my mind. And if I knew you as well as I thought, you'd only take that as a challenge and double down."

And Chisato would be right. As with Sayo, an almost alien indignation had started bubbling in her veins. How strange, Lisa's was normally allergic to conflict, but certain people had the ability to set her immune systems straight to overdrive. Unlike with Sayo, however, it was almost impossible to see Chisato's true motive. In the end Lisa only knew her by the masks she chose to reveal.

But she was still frustrated. "I don't know if I can work with you. I don't even know if you wanted me to quit or not! But I also know I'd never see you again if we weren't co-workers."

Chisato seemed skeptical at first, and Lisa was too embarrassed to recant. The truth was the truth. When it became clear that Lisa was serious, Chisato let out a startled, 100% unscripted laugh. "Really, Lisa-chan?"

"W-well, as long as I get to play the bass, it's not like my reason to pick the other option is any different. You know what I'm talking about. Roselia is Yukina's dream. I don't care about the money or the fame. And inspiring people with my music is a nice thought but I don't have to be an idol to do that. So it's down to who I'm doing it with."

Chisato put her hand on her mouth, though her eyes still twinkled with mirth. She stood, smoothening her skirt, speaking while adjusting the hat and the sunglasses.

"I'll give you some time to think. Don't rush. Don't let this 'boyfriend' make the decision for you."

But how could she not? Overinvested fans and the court of public morale were one thing, literally signing away her private life was something else. Though once she'd calmed down a bit, Lisa could see that Chisato had a point. Lisa only panicked because poor Saito had put his trust in her and gotten involved in idol scandal instead. Except there wasn't a scandal, scoffed the Chisato in her head, so really, Lisa just liked torturing herself with guilt.

Lisa chewed it as she toddled upstairs. Back in her room, she'd laid the bass on the bed in order to answer the door. She turned on the practice amp and sat down. She ran through some scales, the ones she could do without thinking.

It wasn't that Lisa hated Chisato. The masks made her hard to pin down as human, but Lisa could see how they were useful, even essential to survive in the entertainment world. And the flickers of warmth that she exuded around the others — Aya, Maya, and Hina especially — must have been genuine, her fundamental traits that the business hadn't corroded completely. It was just that by keeping her cards close Chisato had forced Lisa to make a choice based on what she wanted. All while acting she knew what exactly Lisa wanted, which to be fair wasn't hard to predict.

Her phone buzzed. Rio had arrived at the cafe she had pointed out — the same cafe where she'd been caught "dating" Saito — and sent her a picture of his full course. Lisa smiled to herself and sent a sticker in approval. Then remembered as an idol she wasn't supposed to text him like this, or at least not yet. Or was that as long as no one found out?

She put her bass down, staring outside the window. The view opened directly to Yukina's verandah. Wonder of wonders, Yukina herself was out and about, basking in the sun. Lisa inched outside. It was hot, but not to an uncomfortable degree. She leaned on the railing, waiting for Yukina to notice her.

"Why did you stop?" Yukina said, finally coming down to earth.

"You heard it from there?"

Yukina shrugged. Lisa supposed she'd always been sensitive to music since they were little. The vibrations that carried no structured rhythm or tone, in other words regular speech that didn't directly address her, not so much. "You should work on your muting more, and less on slap. And maybe try to improvise using those… modal scales you've got down by heart."

Lisa blinked. "Whoa, did you actually just praise me?"

Yukina shrugged. "I still can't pull a slap solo."

Hopeful, Lisa said, "Wanna hop over and show me what you've got so far?"

"I wish," groused Yukina, "Sayo's banned all band rehearsals until Ako and I have finished at least half of our summer homework. I should get back to it."

Lisa bit back her laughter. Yukina showed no signs of parting with her homework-free verandah whatsoever. "Sayo could be Spartan like that. But it just goes to show how much she cares, you know?" And it was thanks to Sayo's strictness that Lisa could chat about nothing with Yukina like they used to.

Yukina tilted her head. "Lisa, are you and Sayo… friends?"

"Hey now, what's with that emphasis. Sayo's a perfectly nice person underneath."

"That doesn't really matter to me. In any case I marvel more that she could stand you."

"Now what's that supposed to mean?!"

Yukina shrugged, and Lisa let her get away with it. It was a rare, joyous occasion that they could slip back into teasing each other like old times, all thanks to Sayo's Spartan methods. Thinking about Sayo made her think of her earlier conversation with Chisato.

"Say, Yukina, have you ever thought of signing with a label? You know, once you've reached the Future World Fes and stuff, and Roselia's moved up in the world… or are you staying indie forever?"

"There's no point in talking about the future."

"Come on, you must've thought about it, because you love music just that much."

Yukina's gaze probed her for sarcasm. Seemingly coming up on nothing she said, "Signing with a label would make it easier for me to focus on making music and let someone else take care of the business side of things, and I would have a wider and more lasting reach. And I would be selling my soul. There's no major label out there who wouldn't want a bigger slice of the mainstream audience and wouldn't force bands to change their sound."

"Hee… but you can fight it — you'll fight them, won't you?"

"Like I said, it's future talk." Yet Yukina puffed up a bit. Like a belligerent cat, except there was just Lisa. Threatened with a cheek pinch, Yukina backed down sulkily, much to Lisa's amusement. But it wasn't just teasing. Yukina's line was the authenticity in her music, and Lisa had always loved this side of Yukina. There was something mesmerizing about watching passionate people pour their souls out regardless of its commercial success. Lisa was a moth drawn to the bonfire of naive dreams.

The doorbell rang. Regrettably, Lisa excused herself. Yukina also had to return to her homework. But before she did so, she said, "Lisa, Roselia is still finding its sound. And we're more flexible than idol pop. But we must have a bassist. I want you to keep that in mind, just in case."

Words caught in her throat, so she gave Yukina the brightest smile she could muster. She skipped down the stairs. Lisa nearly kicked the shoe cabinet opening the door, and did noisily stepped on her father's leather boots. She opened the door ready to apologize to whomever was behind.

It was Sayo with her customary frown. "Imai-san, you know you weren't supposed to run. Are you all right?"

Lisa nodded dumbly. It was Sayo, in a hot pants and bright red spaghetti strap tank top that even Lisa wouldn't have been caught dead wearing. Until today, apparently. "Uh, yeah. I just wasn't expecting you."

"Since there has been no change it should've been obvious our appointment would still go on as scheduled. Although I suppose you might have wanted confirmation the day before." Sayo fidgeted. "May I come in?"

Lisa got tea while Sayo arranged the books and stationery on the coffee table. Sayo was acting too nervous, considering that it was her third visit. Part of that was Lisa's fault, as she couldn't stop stealing glances.

Sayo caved first, putting her pen down with a decisive clack. Massaging her temple, she said, "I knew it didn't suit me — "

"Nonsense! You look cute! I mean, it's definitely a change from the last time I saw you. But I swear it does suit you, Sayo."

Sayo seemed caught between suspicion and embarrassment, and resolved it by looking down. "W-well, I thought I should give the other side a fair shake. So I could at least say I've tried. And I still hate this. I don't mean it as judgement of your preferences."

Lisa opened her palm, no offense taken. But Sayo was wound up, fingers grasping the hems of her pants, jaws chewing through her next words. Lisa's reaction didn't matter, at least for now. "And I owe you an apology for our last meeting, the way I treated you. I was too focused on becoming someone else to properly see you."

Such anxiety. Lisa couldn't help but feel a bit sad, though she kept her tone light. "I said I had a good time, and I meant it. I knew you were working through something, so it didn't bother me that you were acting the whole time."

Sayo shook her head desperately. "It wasn't just acting. I truly meant to become someone else. I… despised myself, Imai-san. Therefore presented with the excuse of Seta-san's play, I constructed Saito as my opposite in every way. He's a window to another life I could've lived — most of all, what it would be like to be an only child. No little sister to constantly demand a piece of my attention, no sibling to outdo me in everything I do and still look at me with awe, no one whose very existence drives me to always do better. And I wanted it to be true."

Speaking her troubles seemed to pain Sayo, but in a distant echo sort of way, as if it wasn't a fresh wound but an old one she was showing to a doctor for check-up. Lisa believed so, going by Hina's optimistic messages. Lisa said, "Hina told me that you had a long talk, and she seemed happy about it."

Sayo didn't seem happy, but she also didn't seem unhappy about it either. "Yes. And I… just a week previously, during Tanabata, I'd wished to be able to reconcile with Hina. To immediately renege on that wish, even as part of another wishful thinking, it was that part of myself that I despised most of all. And yet the exercise helped me see what I needed to do. It gave me the push to finally discuss this matter with Hina. And it's all thanks to you. Perhaps I should have thanked you instead of apologized…"

"Neither, you don't need to do either! Honestly I'm just happy to be helpful even if I didn't do anything…"

No matter how much Lisa denied her misplaced gratitude, Sayo wouldn't budge, stubborn and scrupulous to the marrow. In truth Lisa was starting to worry she was the wrong person to be here. As an only child she couldn't begin to understand both Sayo's woes of having Hina overshadow her since birth, or her inviolable attachment to that blood bond despite everything. And the Saito episode as well, either Sayo found it exposing something she hadn't realized she had harbored and was embarrassed, or there was something else deeper, and either way Lisa didn't understand and didn't know how best to help Sayo. She almost told Sayo as much. But that would be awfully self-centred of her, wouldn't it. For better or worse Saito had chosen to appear before Lisa, and it was Lisa now sitting before Sayo.

And quite possibly the only thing Sayo needed was a listening ear. Lisa could provide that.

Meanwhile Sayo seemed to have taken Lisa's reticence as her seriously considering her offer for repayment. "Hina said that you might be having some problems at work. If there's anything I could do to help, please tell me."

… No way am I getting you involved in it again! But the longer she was quiet the more suspicious Sayo would get, so Lisa blurted the first thing in her mind. "Actually, I'm thinking of quitting. Not because of the problem, or at least not really, and the problem itself isn't that big, but anyway, I'm quitting Pastel*Palettes. Don't worry, it's not going to cause Pastel*Palettes to disband or anything."

As she spoke it, the decision became firm in her head. She wasn't just thinking, she would do it, come what may. Whether or not there was Roselia to cushion her landing.

"I see." Sayo's face went blank, probably bracing herself. Last time they'd nearly come to blows over the mere suggestion that Lisa might have quitted Pastel*Palettes to join Roselia.

Lisa asked, "You're not going to comment about me being a three days monk — well, a three months idol, literally?"

"I'd be a hypocrite to do so when I've once quitted a band in less time than that. I'm sure you have your reasons."

So her flipping out the last time really was about Hina. "I guess I don't like really gel with the idol industry, or their idea of music. I'm not asking for a special audition for Roselia. I just want to tell someone. And that someone is you!"

"Because I happen to be here." Sayo absently twirled a strand of hair as Lisa denied it was just happenstance. She ignored it and shrugged and said, "Very well. And why do you think you'd fit Roselia better?"

Oh, were they conducting an interview after all? Lisa sat up straighter, answering primly. "I don't know about fitting, that's up to you and Yukina to decide. But I do know I'd rather lend my bass to people who makes music from the heart. Of course connecting to people is important, and so is selling, because we gotta make a living somehow, but there's something lost when the music's run through committees and a dozen writers and producers, you know?"

Sayo stared for a long time, like she was reading Lisa's bones somehow, before she finally nodded. "If you're sure you would rather throw your lot with us, I have no objections. Pending, of course, Minato-san's approval and the results of your audition. But if I may be so bold, Imai-san, may I welcome you to Roselia?"

Her hand stuck out mechanically before her. It occurred to Lisa a bit late that the thin line of her lips was a suppressed smile. She took Sayo's hand, shaking it in lieu of words. Then still overflowing with inexplicable emotions, she tried hugging Sayo across the table. Sayo's protests, she knew, were half-hearted.

—

There was the matter of actually quitting, which began with calling Chisato back into her house for consultation. She didn't seem to be surprised in the least. She also didn't seem to have an opinion at all, which left Lisa feeling strangely bummed.

Maybe it showed on her face, for Chisato said, "But you see, Lisa-chan, I treat my co-workers differently from my friends. And beyond that, even moreso."

"Er, come again with the last part?"

Chisato bat her eyelashes, and suddenly Lisa didn't want to know if it meant Chisato would turn that look at her again. In any case Lisa went to the president of the agency the next day meek and unyielding, his unsavory digs at her rolling off her back. The hardest part was actually letting the others know. Well, Hina seemed more amused than anything and envious she got to play in a band with her precious sister (Lisa hadn't mentioned Roselia at all), but Aya actually cried, which infected Lisa, and poor Maya tried to console them both and ended up catching some of it herself. And then it was finally over, Lisa was officially fired for violating the terms of her probationary period.

The day finally came when Lisa was allowed to venture outside alone again. She didn't waste time in letting Yukina know of the good news.

"And what did Sayo say?"

"Funnily enough, she's leaving it up to you," Lisa said, glib and nervous. Despite Sayo's explicit approval, it was Yukina's which truly mattered, and some part of Lisa would always be disproportionally affected by Yukina's assessment of her as a musician.

She actually let out a long-held breath when Yukina nodded and said, "I'll see you at the studio tomorrow then. Or… I suppose I'll walk with you, help you carry your bass."

"Honestly, I'm fine — "

"Lisa." She closed her mouth. Yukina wouldn't brook any disagreement when she had this look. "You understand what this means. Now that Roselia's assembled we have no time to wait for you to catch up."

"Of course," Lisa said, equally solemn. "Full speed ahead to bloom wildly at the top, right?"

"Precisely." Yukina's lips relaxed slightly in a phantom of the smiles she used to give as a young girl. "Welcome aboard."