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1185
As the sky began to darken, Sylvain could see the faint outline of the moon. The wind picked up, bringing along the first hint of crisp night air. He ran a hand through his flaming locks, pushing his hair away from his forehead as his gaze scanned the line of trees in front of him. At every movement, he could feel his heart catch in his throat. But for the past hour, he was only met with disappointment as the shadows continued to play tricks on his mind.
Sylvain exhaled harshly. He had been waiting five years for this moment, and time was quickly running out. “You’re an idiot,” he muttered to himself, turning away from the tree line. He closed his eyes, pressing his fingers to his forehead as he debated going back to camp. Although the sound of a branch snapping faintly registered in the back of his mind, he wouldn’t let himself be fooled so easily again. It wasn’t until he heard a soft scrape of metal against metal that he opened his eyes.
“Felix?” he asked, not bothering to hide the note of disbelief in his voice. As he turned, he stumbled back slightly to avoid the sharp point of Felix’s blade from piercing his skin.
“Even now, you’re still reckless and inattentive,” Felix muttered, his amber eyes narrowed. Although the swordsman kept his blade level with Sylvain’s throat, he made no other movement. “You haven’t changed one bit.”
Sylvain was too stunned to respond right away. He had played this moment over in his mind too many times to count. But now, Felix was standing right in front of him, no longer just a ghost of his imagination. “I was starting to think you wouldn’t come.”
“Hmph.” Felix lowered his sword. The last rays of light glinting off the metal. He looked different from when Sylvain has last seen him. The long strands of hair that had previously fallen into his eyes were cropped short across his forehead, and his school uniform had been replaced by black armor bearing the twin-headed eagle of the Adrestrian Empire.
“I’m glad you’re alive.” Sylvain said after a moment of silence had passed between the two. “I’ve-“
“If you’re going to waste my time, then I’ll be going. I’m not here to exchange some false pleasantries.”
Sylvain could feel his heartbeat stutter when he said Felix begin to turn away. “Fine,” he said quickly. He couldn’t let his chance at speaking with Felix slip through his fingers. “I’ll cut straight to the point then. Dimitri plans to invade Enbarr tomorrow.”
“And?” The swordsman paused to look back at Sylvain, resting a hand at his hip. “You’ve come to warn me? To ask me to desert the Empire?” When Sylvain only stared at him, he scoffed. “I’m not coming back. I’m not serving the boar. You of all people should know that.”
Sylvain shook his head. “We’ve reclaimed Fhirdiad and now we’ve captured Fort Merceus. The Empire may have had the advantage before, but the tables have turned.”
“I don’t care. You can be the biggest fool in all of Fodlan, but I know that’s just a beast walking on two legs. You’re fighting for a ghost. The Dimitri we knew was slaughtered that day in Duscur with the rest of them.”
Sylvain gazed down at the ground, turning over what Felix left unsaid in his mind. “This isn’t the answer, Felix. There has to be a way to change things without so many senseless casualties. Your father and Glenn wouldn’t have wanted this.”
Felix’s jaw clenched at the sound of his family’s names. He surprised Sylvain as he stalked up to him, head tilted up slightly to meet Sylvain’s hazel gaze. “Do not bring up their names,” he whispered, his face only inches away. Although his voice was soft, there was a dangerous edge.
“Fe-“ Sylvain tried, thrown off guard by their proximity. Up close, he could see dark circles around the swordsman’s eyes. Shadows cast around bright chips of amber.
“The dead are dead.” Felix cuts him off. “The living are living. String as many gravestones around your neck as you want, but I refuse.” He turned his head away. “You were always so weak.”
“Well then listen to the living. It doesn’t have to end this way. Dimitri aside, we need you, Felix. I-” Sylvain stopped himself as his voice began to grow unsteady. He didn’t have the words anyway. How was he supposed to describe the sleepless nights or the growing dread he felt deep in his bones?
Felix was right. He was weak.
“It’s too late. I won’t make my family’s mistakes. I won’t become another corpse for that beast to serve his ego with.” Felix took a step back and sheathed his sword. There was a strange note in his voice that made Sylvain question who he was trying to convince. “It was a mistake to come here. I should be preparing for the coming battle.”
“Felix, wait!” Sylvain couldn’t stop himself from grabbing his hand as he turned away. Felix’s eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t pull away immediately. “Do you remember the promise we made when we were younger?”
“Of course,” Felix responded, and Sylvain could hear the venom in his voice falter. “Of course I remember.”
-
1176
It was a sunny day when they gathered for Glenn’s funeral, casting his grave in long shadows as his family and friends huddled around it. When Sylvian had first heard that they were unable to bring his body back, he wanted to throw up. His death and along with the other victims lost to the Tragedy of Duscur had plunged the kingdom in mourning.
After the first wave of grief had passed, Sylvain had only thought of Felix. Glenn had been Felix’s idol. He couldn’t imagine how the new heir to the Dukedom of Fraldarius was handling his brother’s death, and it wasn’t until House Gautier arrived to the funeral that he got his answer.
Felix stood beside his father during the ceremony, head bowed and eyes never leaving Glenn’s grave. His mouth was pressed into a hard line, and his hands were kept in tight fists at his side. While others may have been convinced by the show Felix put on, Sylvain had seen him cry often enough when they were younger to see right through it. He knew that expression all too well, and what would inevitably follow.
It wasn’t until his father began Glenn’s eulogy that Felix reached his breaking point. While others nodded as Rodrigue praised his son’s glorious servitude to the King, Sylvain watched as tears pricked in Felix’s eyes. He was ready when the younger boy abruptly stormed off, following after him quickly while leaving the others behind in shock.
“Felix, wait!” Sylvain called to him as they rounded a corner and headed toward the gardens of the Blaiddyd manor.
“I’m not standing around to listen to that load of bunk! Did you hear him, Sylvain? He never cared about Glenn.” Felix said, his voice ragged.
For once, Sylvain remained silent as he accompanied Felix. Although he knew Rodrigue had adored his eldest son, he couldn’t deny that his words had felt hollow. No amount of loyalty and chivalry could ever make sense of Glenn’s gruesome death.
Felix let himself sink toward the ground once they entered secluded area among the manicured trees and bushes. After spending countless summers together at Dimitri’s home, the two knew the best hiding spots. This had been one of their favorites when their parents would come looking to take them home to their respective territories.
“We were supposed to train together when he came back to visit,” Felix said softly, rubbing at his eyes as tears fell. “I was going to beat him this time…”
Sylvain joined Felix on the ground, putting his arms around him. He ignored Felix’s halfhearted attempt to pull away and swat at him. After a moment, the latter settled in and rested his forehead against Sylvain’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Felix. I’m going to miss him too.”
Time passed slowly as they sat in silence. Sylvain wasn’t sure how long they stayed together like that, but the tears had dried on Felix’s cheeks when he finally disentangled himself from Sylvain’s arms. “Promise me you won’t leave,” he said, a desperate tone entering his voice.
The question had caught Sylvain off guard. “What are you talking about?”
“I don’t want you to die,” Felix replied, biting down on his bottom lip.
Sylvain could feel his heart breaking ever so gently for Felix, but he made himself smile. “I’m not going anywhere, but that means I’ll need you to stay around to protect me.” He reached out to push the raven strands that had fallen into Felix’s eyes behind his ear.
Relief filled him when the smallest of smiles ghosted over Felix’s lips, lasting only seconds before fading away. “Fine,” he said, sitting up a little straighter. “Since I am stronger than you.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Sylvain replied playfully as he started to get up. “Let’s stick together until the very end. Promise?” He asked, holding out a hand.
Felix grasped it firmly, rising from the ground. “I promise.”
-
1185
Enbarr was in pure chaos; the once magnificent capital of the Adrestrian Empire had been reduced to a battlefield. Edelgard had been ready when the Kingdom army had launched their attack, but her forces were slowly wearing down. Corpses of both sides littered the ground, and the smoke rising from the now annihilated buildings smothered the sun.
But it wasn’t until Hubert fell that true horror began to show itself. As Edelgard emerged, half human and half monster, the familiar mixture of dread and nausea rose from deep within the pit of Sylvain’s stomach and into his throat. He had dreamed of this battle before, but even this last act of desperation was outside the realm of his imagination - a nightmare within a nightmare.
He pushes his horse onward, trying and failing to think of only the battle in front of him. Instead, he replays the night before, over and over in his mind.
-
“Of course I remember.” It had come out as a whisper. Felix stood still, letting his hand stay in Sylvain’s. And, for a moment, although Sylvain wasn’t religious, he couldn’t help but wonder if the Goddess had finally answered his wish made under the Ethereal moon years ago.
Their promise to die together was the last time Sylvain had seen Felix vulnerable. Meek and pure. From then on, there was an edge of pain and misery that Felix honed even sharper than his sword. Over the years, he used it against anyone who tried coming close, making himself unreachable even before he had joined the Empire.
“Please, Felix. Come home to me. I need you,” Sylvain pleaded, echoing the words of his former self, alone in Goddess Tower.
“I’m sorry, Sylvain.” Felix pulled his hand away, taking the last remnants of Sylvain’s faith along with him. His mouth formed into a tight line, hands balling into tight fists as his side. “Get in my way, and you’ll die first.”
-
Sylvain is thrown out of his memory when his horse folds beneath him. His head strikes the ground, the impact reverberates through his skull. He debates on getting back up, but pure instinct drives him to move when he sees the glint of an arrow in his periphery. It sinks into the ground where his head had been mere seconds before.
Sylvain releases a breath through his teeth as he rises. When he sees the empty eyes of his horse, his mouth twists into a grimace before he runs. He wasn’t sure where the sniper was located, and he would never find out if he stayed still.
It isn’t until his gaze lands on Dimitri and Ingrid that he finds a purpose in his path forward. The two were fighting back-to-back in a deadly dance, carving through their enemies and toward the castle doors. Sylvain almost reaches them when he hears the panicked shouts of soldiers nearby.
Tightening his grip on his lance, he turns in time to watch the last soldier crumple to the ground. There were only a few people who Sylvain knew that could cut down a group so swiftly and with such accuracy. Reluctantly, he lifted his gaze, already knowing his eyes were about to meet amber ones.
“Stand aside, Sylvain.”
Felix looked as tired as Sylvain felt. Blood, dirt, and ash were smeared across the pale skin of his jaw. The swordsman was breathing heavily and swaying slightly on his feet. Although his sword was raised, the usual grace in his movements was gone.
“I can’t let you do this, Felix.”
“Fine.” The tip of his sword is leveled at Sylvain’s throat again, and Felix sinks into an offensive stance. “I’ll cut you down.”
Sylvain was ready when Felix charged. He could feel the Lance of Ruin thrum with power in his hands. He managed to sidestepped Felix’s first initial blow, catching the blade with his lance and knocking it back. Felix redirect his energy, launching himself at Sylvain again. As the two traded blows, Sylvain couldn’t help but notice the swordsman’s movement became increasingly reckless. He began to overextend the thrusts of his blade, taking a little too long to correct his balance afterwards.
They continued their dance for some time, the rest of the chaos around them fading away. Only the ringing of metal in the air, the taste of smoke on his tongue, and the ache of his muscles remained. It wasn’t until the tip of Sylvain’s lance slipped through a crack in the obsidian plates of Felix’s armor did time completely stop.
Felix’s lips parted slightly, his eyes wide as he stared at the lance that had skewered through him. When he looked back up at Sylvain, his expression mirrored a former version of his self from almost a decade past and Sylvain felt something deep within himself break.
He had wanted Felix to come home, but not like this.
When Felix collapsed to his knees, Sylvain was there to meet him. He pulled Felix into his arms, pushing the raven strands that had escaped his bun away from his face. “I’m so sorry, Felix.”
He wasn’t sure if it was a grimace or a smile that flashed across the dying swordsman’s lips. “I was a fool,” he breathed. “All this time, I just traded one beast for another…” Felix let out a wet cough, his blood spraying onto Sylvain’s cheek
Sylvain shook his head, feeling a lump form in the back of his throat. “I should have followed you. I should have tried harder to bring you back.”
When the tears began to fall, Felix reached up to wipe them away. “You’ve done more than anyone else has for me, Sylvain. Even we were kids-” He coughed again, the blood bright against his paling skin. “I’m sorry I’m not going to be able to keep our promise.”
“Please don’t leave, Felix. I’m not strong enough without you.”
Felix smiles gently, but Sylvain can see when the light flickers out from behind his eyes. And when Felix is finally gone, Sylvain can feel his soul go with him.