Work Text:
When Daichi entered the train, he was there.
The stranger was there, sitting on his usual seat in the train, reading a book on Modern Japanese Literature for first years—Daichi knew that, because he owned the same one in his school bag. The stranger was deeply engrossed in his reading, eyes moving following the sentences written in his book. A few strands of his silver hair fell over his eyes, but he didn’t seem to mind as he kept on reading, occasionally flipping the page over to a new one.
The sunlight from the window shone down on him, basking him in a warm morning sun glow. He looked like a painting that someone had spent a long time painting, beautiful and ethereal.
Due to the beauty that was the stranger in his sight and the fact that he had had to run to catch up with the train, Daichi momentarily forgot how to breathe. Just like the first time he saw the stranger a few months back.
It all started on the first day of school. For the first time, Daichi chose a school that was a little bit far from home, so he had to commute by train. That day was the entrance ceremony day and being the nervous wreck he was, he ended up going to school too early. The train wasn’t that crowded, save for a few students who perhaps were running late for their club practice, a few elderly people, and workers going to work.
And then, there was him.
At first, Daichi didn’t notice him. But he was nervous and it was still a few more stations until he reached his destination, so he decided to glance around to calm himself down. His eyes found the stranger, sitting on the same seat as today. But, instead of a textbook, a novel was on his hand.
At a glance, he looked like a normal high school student—neat gakuran, a school bag on his lap, a book in his hand (the only unusual thing was probably his hair color, though Daichi thought it was a beautiful shade of gray, soft and somehow suited him a lot). Perhaps, for other people, he looked like the other passengers—nothing too interesting or noteworthy.
But Daichi found him interesting. He was intrigued by the way his eyebrows scrunched cutely as he flipped to a new page, eyes wide, and the way he gasped quietly to himself a few times, surprised by the plot of the novel.
(Daichi never knew that people could make that many expressions when reading a book.)
The stranger had his attention on his book all the time until he alighted on his station—one station before Daichi’s. When he first learned that information, Daichi was a little bit disappointed to know that they did not go to the same school, because going to the same school meant more opportunities to see him. So, Daichi wondered whether he would get another opportunity to see the stranger.
He had his answer by the next morning when he saw the same stranger, sitting on the same seat, the same book on his hand. And the next day, and the following day too.
He didn’t know when it had started, but Daichi found himself trying his best to wake up early in the morning to catch the early train to school—even if it was terribly hard because Daichi was not a morning person—just to have the opportunity to see the stranger.
They would usually meet in the train, Daichi standing or sitting a few seats opposite of him, stealing glances at the stranger. Sometimes though, they would miss each other, usually because Daichi was running late.
When they did see each other, sometimes, their eyes would meet—a couple of seconds of those big eyes looking at him before the stranger smiled warmly, bowing his head slightly to greet Daichi. And then, Daichi would freeze, feeling his face warm up as time ticked past, brain short-circuiting because holy shit he noticed me too and it would take him a couple of seconds to return the slight nod.
It had been months, yet all they had exchanged were warm (the stranger’s), awkward (Daichi’s) smiles, subtle glances, and acknowledging nods. Well—Daichi couldn’t say that he was satisfied with that. He wanted more. He wanted to know more about the stranger, about his name, and his favorite subject. He wanted to befriend and hang out with him, to find out by himself whether the stranger shared his love for shoyu ramen or if he liked something else. He wanted to know whether he played sports or not—and if he did, whether he played volleyball or not.
He wanted to find out if his hair was as soft as it looked. Or if he was annoyed by those few strands of hair covering his eyes when he looked down to read his book. Or if the stranger’s personality was as warm and cheerful as his smile, and if there was a chance for him to be the reason behind the stranger’s gorgeous smile.
The light shaking from the train as it started to move brought him back to reality.
Daichi took a deep breath as he walked closer towards the stranger. This morning, he had promised himself to talk with him, to at least strike a conversation—about the weather, the books he had seen him reading before, anything. It would be even better if he could introduce himself and then ask him for his name. At this point, anything would be better rather than him chickening out at the last minute.
So, with that in mind, he decided not to sit at his usual place. Instead, he chose to stand, holding on to the handrail a few spaces from where the stranger was sitting. Standing made him feel braver somehow and Daichi was sure he could talk to him today.
...Or so he thought, but three stations after he got into the train, he still hadn’t said anything to the stranger. Instead, he was too busy admiring him—seeing the way the crease in his forehead disappear when he flipped to another page of modern literature and the way he pouted unconsciously as he stared hard and long at this one particular page (if a hard stare could burn something, that page would’ve turned into dust by now). Daichi was too busy admiring the way his scarf almost covered his lips cutely, too busy admiring the way the light fell on his skin, on his hair, making him look softer and even farther away from his reach.
And the whole time, Daichi was also still silently debating with himself whether to initiate a talk or not.
Come on, Daichi , he said to himself. You wanted more, right? Then don’t be a coward and try to strike a conversation with him!
And this other side of him would always yell back. But! It said weakly, It’s scary! He looks like he’s out of my league!
He felt his knees go weak from the pressure and anxiety. Daichi sighed, a bit too loud—and no idea whether that was a good thing or not, but the stranger suddenly looked at him and their eyes met.
Then, the stranger gave him a polite smile and bowed his head slightly. Daichi’s heart started to beat fast, a loud BOOM BOOM in his head, and he bowed slightly as well while trying to give the stranger the best non-awkward smile he could do. Thankfully, after that, the stranger’s attention went back to his book and Daichi let out another breath he didn’t know he was holding (this time quieter than the previous one).
He was slightly started by the sudden train announcement, announcing what the next station would be—the stranger’s usual station.
He knew he only had a few minutes left to make a decision.
The train was approaching the stranger’s destination fast and Daichi was running out of time. If it wasn’t today, Daichi didn’t know when he’d get the courage again.
The stranger stood up to walk towards the door and Daichi felt his heart skip a beat, a bead of sweat rolling down his back. This is it. It is now or never.
But, despite everything, it was so hard for him to open his mouth. It was as if someone had glued his mouth with super glue. His heart was beating wildly and Daichi could practically hear it thumping in his ears. To make matters worse, his hands started to sweat and feel clammy. Daichi cursed silently. What are you being a coward for? It’s not like he would eat you if you talked to him!
Perhaps, the universe was so tired of seeing him pine but not act all this time and decided to give him a little push, because at that time, the train suddenly shook again and the pretty stranger’s body swayed, almost falling.
Before his head could process whatever the heck he was doing, Daichi instinctively reached towards the stranger, his hand gripping the stranger’s arm, catching him from falling. The stranger gasped quietly and their eyes met again.
From this close of a distance, Daichi could see how pretty the stranger’s eyes were. They were brown—a lovely, rich shade of brown. His eyelashes were pretty long, longer than Daichi’s, and they fluttered prettily when he blinked. Daichi also noticed other things—the stranger had a small beauty mark under his right eye, his nose was a little bit red, and his lips looked moist despite the cold.
Finally, his brain processed what he was doing and it was his turn to gasp, face beet red as he released his grip from the stranger’s arm. “I—um, sorry.”
The stranger blinked, looking a bit dazed and surprised, but then shook his head. “No, you don’t have to be sorry!” He said. What a beautiful, beautiful voice. His voice was sweet, just like how Daichi imagined it to be. Soft and soothing, like the wind caressing your skin, with the perfect amount of eagerness in his voice. Daichi could probably fall asleep to his voice. “I, um, thank you.”
And then the stranger smiled sweetly, his cheeks dusted in pale pink. Daichi felt his head spin because he absolutely did not expect that at all. Holy shit, he smiled at me. He smiled at me! His brain went into overdrive and he literally could see and hear nothing else except the stranger's beautiful smile directed at him, accompanied by the sounds of his heart thumping loudly in his head.
Thump, thump, thump.
Thump, thump, thump.
Thump, thump, thump.
Oh, will you please shut up! He screamed at himself. He was annoyed and slightly worried, because what if the stranger heard it? How loudly his heart was beating? What if he knew how nervous Daichi actually was right now? What if he knew, and he was disgusted with him? What if—
“Hey,” the stranger's voice dragged him back to reality, snapping him out of his short-circuiting brain. “You okay?”
Yeah, if momentarily forgetting how to breathe because of someone's smile was okay, Daichi was absolutely fine. He nodded anyway.
“Okay,” the stranger said, but he was still smiling, although now a bit awkward and Daichi wondered what was wrong. “Um, do you still have something to say to me?”
“What?” Daichi blurted out, surprised, because well, yeah, he did still have something to ask him. He had a lot of questions until he had no idea where to start. How could he read his mind…?
The person gestured at Daichi's hand on his arm and chuckled. Daichi widened his eyes, released his grip and bowed his head a few times.
“I—I am terribly sorry,” he apologized and cursed to himself quietly. What a dumbass, he thought to himself. Now he probably thinks you are an idiot. Way to go, Daichi.
The person laughed quietly, a beautiful sound to Daichi's ears. How could someone be as attractive as this person?
“It's okay.” He grinned this time (beautiful, Daichi thought). “So… You really sure you got nothing to tell me?”
Daichi looked at him, and there was this urge to ask him. And he really wanted to, but somewhere in his mind, there still existed fear—of rejection, of disgust, and Daichi was so, so afraid.
So, he shook his head.
Daichi thought he was hallucinating, but for a few seconds, the stranger's expression was weird. A really quick switch between frown and… Was it a disappointed look? Before finally coming back to a smile.
“Okay.” The stranger said, holding his book tightly with one hand, while the other was clenched into a fist. Just in time, the train entered the station, and the stranger's eyes met Daichi's again.
“Well, this is my stop,” he quietly said. “See you tomorrow.”
The stranger walked away and Daichi stood there, dumbfounded.
There went his best chance. Daichi was angry at himself. How could he be such a coward? The chance was there, he just needed to say 'I actually need to talk to you'! It was only seven words and needed probably less than five seconds to be said! Yet, he succumbed to his fear without even trying first, and Daichi knew he was going to regret never actually saying that to the beautiful stranger—
“Yes?” He heard a voice behind him and his thoughts abruptly stopped.
Oh no, he thought to himself. Did I actually say that out loud?
He spun and he met again with the stranger, a smile still on his lips. Yet, it looked different—perhaps more playful? Wait… Was that also a relieved expression on his face?
“I heard you say 'I actually need to talk to you',” he explained when Daichi gave him a confused expression, giggling softly.
Oh yeah. Great. You’re really an idiot, Daichi.
“Uh...” Daichi’s mouth suddenly felt dry and he felt his hands getting all clammy again. His heart started to beat loudly and he could feel his knees going weak again, and the tiny voice inside his mind started talking again and Daichi really wanted it to shut up because he had been presented a second chance by the universe, he really didn’t want to fuck it up again and let this be the last time he talked with this absolutely gorgeous person.
Exactly, his heart said. Then, why are you afraid?
Oh, shut up, that tiny voice in his mind retorted. What if it didn’t go well? Imagine how embarrassing it would be!
Daichi knew his heart was right, but he couldn’t deny what that tiny voice said too.
So, you’d rather sacrifice the chance to be his friend? His heart said. You’d rather sacrifice the chance to get closer to him, sacrifice the chance to be that someone receiving this stranger’s beautiful smile? For what? For a few what-ifs that you don’t know will happen or not?
And that got Daichi thinking for a moment. But he didn’t have much more time because the train almost stopped, the stranger was waiting for him with one eyebrow raised, and if Daichi spent another minute thinking he’d be back to square one. So Daichi thought, fuck it. Here goes nothing.
“Is it okay,” he started, looking at the silver-haired stranger nervously, “if I want to know you better?”
For a moment, it was silent. Daichi’s heart started to beat wildly again. Countless what-ifs played in his mind. Did he do the right thing? Should he not do that? Daichi was afraid.
But then, the stranger smiled. His cheeks went red again, and he looked as sweet as cotton candy. The scenarios running inside his mind stopped abruptly when he noticed the stranger’s smile growing wider and wider.
“Oh my God,” he breathed out, sounding relieved and genuinely happy. “Finally! I thought you’d never ask!”
...Wait, what?
“What?” Daichi asked, clearly confused.
“I thought you’d never ask about it!” He repeated again, voice high from excitement. “We’ve been glancing at each other for months!” He sounded exasperated, and Daichi was pleasantly surprised.
...Wait. Had he been waiting as well?
He wanted to ask, but his brain was still trying to process everything, so the only thing coming out from his mouth was a croaked, “What?”
“Oh my God!” He laughed again. Daichi could listen to him laughing over and over, he’d never get bored of it. The stranger had such a pretty laugh. “I know you’ve been glancing at me since, what, April?”
“Uh, yeah… The entrance ceremony day.”
“Yeah!” He huffed, seemingly a bit irritated, but also finding it funny. “I thought you’d talk to me after a few times. Because you always had this expression on your face, like, ‘okay, I will talk to him today!’ every single time, so I decided to be patient and wait for you.”
Daichi breathed and the stranger continued talking.
“But also, every single time, you would say nothing even after our eyes met! So today, I was like, man, that’s it, I can’t wait anymore! So I asked you whether you wanted to say something to me or not. But you said no!” The stranger covered his face with his hands and sighed. “Believe me, I was gonna cry from frustration.”
Daichi could hear the gears on his own brain working, trying to digest what this person was saying. “So… What you were saying is that the feeling is mutual?”
The pretty stranger nodded.
The train stopped at the station, the door opening and Daichi knew they were out of time. But who cares, he thought, because he finally asked him and the feeling was mutual!
The stranger uncovered their face and smiled and it made Daichi smile too, because yeah, his smile was very contagious. It made his stomach churn in a pleasant way and Daichi couldn’t wait to know what other effects this stranger would have on him.
“I’d love to know you too,” the stranger said. “And skipping school to talk and get to know you better sounds really tempting right now. Unfortunately, I have to go. But…”
He gestured at Daichi to open his hand. When he did, the stranger’s hand that was clenched into a fist opened, dropping a crumpled paper to Daichi’s hand. When Daichi opened it, there was a phone number scribbled on it, with a short note written neatly: Text me! —Suga.
“We can chat,” the stranger—Suga—suggested, looking hopeful, “and perhaps arrange a time to meet for coffee?”
Daichi felt himself grinning and he didn’t see himself stopping real soon. “Yeah, that sounds awesome.”
“Great.” Suga chuckled whilst shyly tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. “I’ll expect your text soon…?”
He needed another second before he realized Suga was probably waiting for his name, and he just realized he hadn’t told the silver-haired guy his name yet. “Daichi. Sawamura Daichi.”
“Daichi.” Daichi never gave it much thought when his friends called his name, but the way Suga pronounced his name—it was different. It sounded special. Or maybe, it was just his happiness fogging his mind and ears. “I’ll see you soon.”
With one last smile, Suga ran out of the train, just in time as the door closed and the train started moving towards the next station—Daichi’s station.
Daichi was still dazed, like he didn’t believe all of that just happened before him. But, when he saw the crumpled paper on his hand, with Suga’s number written on it, Daichi knew that yeah, it definitely did happen.
Daichi smiled before putting the paper in his bag, afraid of losing it.
Well, there had been plenty of scenarios playing in his mind. One of them could’ve been the reality. But Daichi was glad he decided to take the risk.
Because no one would’ve known that at the end of it, what was waiting for him was not a rejection or disgust, but rather a coffee date with one certain beautiful silver-haired stranger.