Work Text:
but nobody knows, how we go
oh when we're alone, it's like we're home
home — reese lansangan
"why did you bring me here?" soobin asks, curious as to why yeonjun drove him to the playground where they first met more than a decade ago.
"i just missed it," yeonjun replies. soobin looks over to the empty playground from the car window. nothing much has changed, soobin muses. it's still somehow the same like how soobin exactly remembers it: the slide is painted in red, the color he associated with nine year old yeonjun on their first encounter because he forgot to ask for his name. the swings that's supposed to occupy two people, but the other remains to be broken, to which yeonjun often gets frustrated at because he had to take turns with soobin.
it's still the same playground in their neighborhood, albeit on this night it's much quieter without children running around the place. nothing much has changed, really. yeonjun and soobin, despite all the years had gone by, they still have each other, like this: fingers interlaced together, and it never ceases to bloom a garden of sunflowers and butterflies to yeonjun's stomach. he smiles, one that soobin has always loved. they roamed around, hand in hand, moonlight watching above them.
"you still haven't answered my question," soobin says, pouting, "what are we doing here?"
"i already did?" is what yeonjun replies. soobin looks at him, unconvinced. "i just miss this place, and of course, you. "
which is true. yeonjun has been suffering from a heavy workload. he has to stay in busan for two days for a study trip. two days without seeing soobin by his side in the morning. and to put it simply, he hates it. he hates the fact that he won't be able to see soobin as much. he hates the fact that he couldn't fetch soobin on his college building, then take him out on a restaurant date, be in their own little world, like they used to. for two days, yeonjun tries his best to give time to soobin in between his breaks. several calls of i miss you so much and messages of i love you, please don't replace me with someone else while i'm gone here and there would make soobin's phone buzz every ten seconds.
"i missed you," yeonjun repeats, wrapping his arm around soobin, playing with his ears. it's ticklish, but soobin has gotten used to it. soobin leans to his shoulder, sinking to his touch. "i missed you a lot, baby."
"it was just two days," soobin giggles.
yeonjun pouts, "but it felt like two decades."
soobin looks up at him, their gazes prolong. pinching yeonjun's cheeks, he replies, "but i'm here now."
"yeah," he breathes out, "and i'm glad that you're here with me."
"do you remember our first kiss?" soobin asks all of a sudden.
"of course i do," yeonjun says. then, wiggling his eyebrows, he adds, "it was romantic. like in the movies."
soobin narrows his eyebrows, confused. he pulls away from yeonjun. "are you sure we're talking about our first kiss? or were you thinking about your first kiss with—" soobin pauses, taking a sharp breath, "i can't even say his name."
"you're still jealous of that?"
"can't help it," soobin shrugs, feigning nonchalance.
"i am talking about our first kiss," yeonjun defends himself, "i don't know about you, because our first kiss was definitely something else. it was so romantic and now you can't even remember it."
"romantic," soobin repeats, "i don't remember our first kiss as something so romantic. if anything, it was accidental."
yeonjun gasps, clutching his heart in the most dramatic way possible, "you just broke my heart, choi soobin."
but then, soobin inists, " baby , it really isn't!"
yeonjun pouts.
no shit, he's sulking.
"alright, let's settle this once and for all," soobin sighs, half exasperated. "when was our first kiss?"
easy, yeonjun muses. then with confidence, he answers, "may 31st—"
"— wrong."
"babe, that was the day i confessed to you. inside the concert hall, remember?"
"i know, but—" soobin licks his lips, "it's incorrect. i can't believe you forgot our real first kiss."
"i honestly have no idea what you are talking about." yeonjun replies, "are you sure that was us? "
"yeonjun hyung, you're so unfair!" he slaps his arm lightly. yeonjun winces in pain. "you really don't remember?"
yeonjun blinks. think, yeonjun, think.
then, there's nothing. and that was the moment he knew — he fucked up.
"you do not remember." soobin utters, "it literally happened in this same playground, yet you remember nothing. "
yeonjun gulps. well, shit.
"make me remember then."
(
for soobin, their first kiss was in 4th grade and far from being so romantic, as though it came out from a nicholas sparks film. soobin and yeonjun had a huge petty fight that made the two of them ignore each other, which only lasted for a day because one cannot literally live without the other. they are inseparable, like silver locks and keys, like macaroni and cheese, like peanut butter and jelly.
so a lonely day later without soobin, yeonjun apologized first.
"i'm sorry," yeonjun says, quietly. he avoids eye contact with soobin immediately when the boy turns to face him. a paper, almost crumbled up from his tight grip, hides behind yeonjun's back.
soobin notices this: how strange yeonjun's arm looks from his perspective. like he's hiding something. "what's that?" he points out.
pressing his lips into a thin line, he debates with himself whether to give the letter or not to soobin. and in that moment, his brain tells him no.
"it's nothing," he smiles, feigning innocence. "i just— i just want to say sorry to you. it was my fault."
"i'll accept your apology if you tell me what that is you're hiding behind you."
yeonjun's hand trembles, for the reason of two things: hesitation and embarrassment. "it's nothing, really. it's just… just a coloring book."
"a coloring book?" soobin raises an eyebrow, "you are a terrible, terrible liar, hyung. just give your love letter to me. "
yeonjun protests, "it's not a love letter!"
"oh, sure," he rolls his eyes. then, a demand, "give it to me. now. "
yeonjun sighs, defeated. the chances of winning against soobin's irresistible charms are very low, indeed. reluctant, yeonjun finally gives the paper to soobin.
the paper was neatly folded. soobin opens it, revealing a handwritten letter and doodles. there's an illustration of a giant bunny, which soobin guesses was him and a tiny fox (yeonjun) sitting next to it. a smile grows on soobin's lips gradually at how adorable the drawings are.
dear soobin, it says.
i'm very sorry i acted like a sore loser the other day it won't happen again i know u are better than me in video games and there is no way of defeating the legend himself
i will treat you your favorite snack after class
can we be friends again?
soobin turns to yeonjun, asking, "so where's my favorite snack?"
"does that mean you've forgiven me?"
he nods.
yeonjun rejoices with a squeal, throwing his arms around soobin, embracing — squishing — him with a tight hug, "so we're friends again?"
"we'll always be, hyung."
yeonjun didn't let go of soobin, rather, he held him closer, and soobin lets him. mindlessly, yeonjun leans closer to kiss soobin's soft, fluffy cheek while the boy isn't looking — he doesn't know why he did it, but something told him he should otherwise he'd regret it.
and when his lips land on soobin's cheek, soobin suddenly faces him, "hyung—"
for a brief second, three seconds to be specific, their lips touch.
in those three seconds, soobin's cheeks glow in crimson red, as if he was kissed by an angel. except this time, he wasn't, because it was his best friend.
yeonjun's breath hitches, his heart thumping against his chest. they stare at each other as the awkward silence between them prolongs.
)
"do you remember now?" soobin asks.
"not quite," yeonjun replies with a lie. of course he did remember that day after soobin tells him the story of their first real kiss, but he had other plans. "maybe, we should re-enact it so i can remember."
"what is wrong with your brain, really," soobin says, "did you have selective amnesia?"
"c'mon," yeonjun beckons, "i'll pretend i'm you and you are me. okay?"
"how do we even re-enact that?"
yeonjun shrugs nonchalantly, "just act natural."
soobin sighs, defeated. he surrenders to yeonjun's irresistible charms. there's no way of winning against him, either. "alright," soobin begins, "it starts like this—"
there are days when soobin looks at yeonjun, adoring him more than a human being can adore — and tonight, under the glow of moonlight, is one of them. like what happened years and years ago, soobin held yeonjun closer, but gentle. gentle than he'd ever held anything for so long. yeonjun feels his cheeks burning with soobin's longing stare — impatient, he muses to himself, just kiss me right now.
soobin leans in closer, his lips barely a centimeter apart from yeonjun's cheek. eyes shut, he gives in and as if on cue, yeonjun turns around — their lips touch. yeonjun smiles against the kiss, as he whispers, i love you. and someday, i want to marry you.
"that's why i brought you here," yeonjun says, slightly pulling away. "i just wanted to tell you that, in this place where our story started — but then we ended up debating." then a chuckle, "i don't have a ring yet—"
soobin shuts him up as he pulls yeonjun closer. closing his eyes, he revels in the feeling of his lips against yeonjun's mouth. "yes," he breathes out in between their kisses. "it doesn't matter, you're the one i want."
there's a thrill of delight, listening to soobin speak to him like this, in this night where he could only feel nothing but overwhelming love and adoration for soobin.
"—just promise me one thing, hyung." soobin murmurs, "you won't forget our first kiss."
of course he won't. not ever. he had always remembered it. as a matter of fact, that day was ingrained in his mind. he just didn't consider it as their first kiss until tonight. yeonjun laughs silently, "i won't, my love."
("you have to promise me," yeonjun raises his pinky finger, "we'll always have each other."
soobin interlocks his pinky with yeonjun, and at age twelve, he made a promise of forever. there's nothing to be afraid of because we have each other, yeonjun hyung.)
my bones are safe and my heart can rest
knowing it belongs to you, you
my world is changed and it's cradled by
the comfort that is you.