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He hadn’t been either Pepper or Tony’s first choice, but given the fact that the other avengers were either already tied up on assignments, unreachable or unsuitable to babysit that left the pair with two options.
Thor, the god who was lounging about eating junk food and watching comedies after spending the morning training. Or Loki. Pepper choose Loki, at least he managed to wear pants that weren’t covered in some sort of dip and crumbs.
Morgan Stark looked up at Loki bemused, she might only be young, but she could clearly see this was way out of Loki’s comfort zone. Nobody left their offspring with him, occasionally he had saved children as he was now a hero and avenger. But nobody said “here you go Loki,” and then proceeded to go off to some sort of business meeting.
“ Why do your parents not simply hire a professional to look after you?” Loki asked the young girl who shrugged. How was she supposed to know?
“ I’m bored,” she announced like that was Loki’s problem, the god blinked at her, “You’re supposed to look afta me.”
Loki having no experience when it came to Midgardian childcare differed to the child he was looking after, “So how do you suppose we remedy that?” he asked her, as smart as she was she found Loki’s mannerisms weird, he picked up on her confusion, “What do you usually do?” he corrected.
The young girl grinned, he had no idea! She could say anything, and he would probably do it, that’s what happened with the last babysitter and then there had been an explosion, “Daddy lets me play science with Dum-E!”
As amusing as it was to be lied to by a five-year-old Loki feared the percussions of letting Dum-E out of the labs, “Did your parents not inform you that I am the god of lies?”
“ My dad says you have a stick up your butt and pretty eyes!” Morgan just blurted out as children tended to do. Loki saved that little piece of information for later, “So you always lie?” The girl asked.
“ No, I am the god of lies, it is my sphere of influence, as thunder and lightning is my brothers,” Loki explained as simply as he could.
“ Okay!” Morgan smiled taking hold of Loki’s hand which surprised the god, apparently she was a very tactile child, “Lets eat chocolate cake!”
“ We do not have a chocolate-”
“ -Lets make one!” Morgan tugged on his arm, but she could not move him like other people, “You’re strong,” she pointed out as though he were not aware of that fact. She tugged again, and he followed, not sure if this would be a good idea.
FRIDAY was the first to point out that this was in fact a terrible idea, but Loki silence the AI’s concerns as he searched Morgan’s tablet for the perfect chocolate recipe. The extreme chocolate cake recipe seemed promising, though Loki detected an eye roll from the surrounding AI.
Loki’s first problem was the fact that the recipe called for cup as a measurement, “Who uses cups for measurement?” he asked the girl who had asked to be dressed in a lab coat (one Loki himself crafted with a simple spell) and goggles, because safety! “That is not accurate, all cups are different sizes!”
The AI of course provided the answers, Loki wrote down her conversions, “It sounds like an overly complicated way to measure ingredients, why not simply use weight as a measurement?” Loki demanded to know.
“ Because it’s easier?” Morgan asked.
“ Quicker certainly but not easier,” Loki groused after measuring out every ingredient they would need, he needed to keep Morgan from sticking her fingers in the sugar and licking it.
“ So we must first pre-heat the oven,” Loki read out loud and walked over to said oven.
“ NOOO!” Morgan squealed pulling on his black and green cacti print apron, she shoved a pair of gloves into his hands, “You need ta wear gloves, the oven is hot!”
“ The outside of the oven is not hot,” Loki protested, but Morgan stood her ground, stubborn like her mother she refused to move until Loki put on the gloves. Rather inconvenient, but he did not want to cause her to have a meltdown. “Happy?” he asked her showing her his gloved hands.
“ Yep!” She nodded and proceeded to get out of his way, that was the oven taken care of. He discarded the gloves and handed Morgan a pan to grease while he greased the other.
As Loki placed the ingredients into a bowl Morgan stirred, she was overly careful making sure to keep everything inside the bowl. It helped that Loki discretely used his magic to actually keep everything inside the bowl while the child stirred haphazardly.
It was like watching a miniature Stark working in a lab, her tongue stuck out as she concentrated her brows furrowed and her attention was all but consumed by mixing ingredients. She didn’t even notice Thor come into the kitchen to grab food and leave, miffed that she had not even noticed him. She had one job, and she was going to do it to the best of her ability.
“ I think that is enough,” Loki assured her, pulling away the bowl he stirred in the bowling water making sure everything as it should be. Well he used magic to stir the bowl, much to Morgan’s fascination.
“ How do you do that?” she asked him.
“ Magic,” Loki said creating a small ball of green light and tossing it into the air where it exploded, of course a Stark would applaud an explosion!
“ Soooo, could you like turn the chocolate a different colour with magic?” Morgan asked her tone suggested mischief, her intentions suggested mischief but for the life of him Loki could not understand what was so mischievous about changing the colour of chocolate.
Chocolate on Midgard (the only place in the nine realms that produced the stuff) came in various colours already, so why should this request illicit mischief in the girl? Was he starting to lose his grasp on the basics of mischief? Surely not?
“ And why would we want to do that?” Loki asked her curiosity weighing heavy on him.
Morgan beamed, “Mommy says that when things are weird colours people don’t like to eat them. So if we make our chocolate cake a weird colour nobody else will eat it!”
A child’s logic, but surprisingly it made a lot of sense.
Natasha had once bought black ice cream (enough for everyone) and nobody had eaten it save Natasha. It had been an overly hot summers day, everyone craved ice cream but that ice cream had not appealed to anyone.
“ What colour do you suggest?” He asked.
“ All the colours,” Morgan whispered heavily excited by the prospect.
“ Well that would be impossible, there are colours that even a gods eye could not detect given the limited biological-” Morgan scrunched up her face she was lost.
“ Like a mantis shrimp? They got more eyes but can’t see as many colours!” Morgan said Loki did not know what a mantis shrimp was, could one eat one? He did like shrimp. “What next?” she asked.
“ Now we must make the frosting,” Loki read carefully, while the cakes cooked in the ovens.
Staring at the frosting Loki wondered whether he could actually change the colour using magic, Morgan sidled up to him curious to see if he could actually do what he claimed.
“ What colour would you like?” he asked her.
She thought about it then obviously said, “Red and gold!” because of course she did.
It took an obscene amount of work and concentration to shift the colour, while he worked he failed to notice Morgan sticking stickers to his back. His entire back was covered in various brightly coloured animal stickers by the time he managed to shift the colours of the frosting.
One bowl contained gold frosting that resembled gold leaf and the red of the iron-man armour.
It was time to take the pans out of the oven, Morgan was stood there holding up the oven gloves expectantly. She had that look her mother used when she used to corral people into doing whatever she wanted.
It worked, Loki slipped the gloves on to take out the pans, leaving them on the side to cool he returned to Morgan. “It says to wait twenty minutes,” She pointed out, since a comment on the recipe called for an additional ten minutes, it was to be a moist cake it needed the additional time otherwise it would fall apart when removing it from the pan.
“ That’s sooo long,” Morgan complained.
“ Well what would you like to do in the meantime?” he asked her.
The girl thought about it, what could she do in twenty minutes? She studied Loki then broke out into a grin, “Makeovers!” she said. He didn’t understand until she broke out the large plastic box of cosmetics.
“ No,” He warned her.
“ Please,” her lower lip wobbled which for reasons he could not explain broke down his defences.
Morgan Stark might be a budding genius when it came to the sciences, but she was not good at makeup, which came as no surprise given her young age. She used chalk to colour his hair, used powders to colour his face and all he could think as she tried to paint his nails (black because it would match his tunic) was what they would say in Asgard if they could see him now.
That was until Morgan smiled at him, “You’re not so bad Loki!” she said in that overly friendly tone that mirrored her father.
“ You thought I was bad?” He asked her, she blinked up at him confused, before returning to her rather messy painting job.
“ Grumpy,” She said, “You frown a lot,” she continued accidentally brushing black nail polish over his finger.
“ I’m a frowny sort of person,” he said.
“ Yep,” She nodded, “Ta-Da!” she said, not the best paint job but it was reasonably okay for a little girl.
“ Not bad,” he complimented using magic to dry his fingers before removing the excess polish.
“ Mine now!” She said holding up purple sparkly nail polish for him to use, yes he could imagine the ridicule he would face if this were Asgard. But this was not Asgard, she smiled as he painted her nails, drying them with magic she beamed at him, “Thank you!”
“ You are welcome,” Loki patted her on top of the head, this for some reason greatly pleased the girl who was very used too much better forms of praise, affections and platitudes, “Now to decorate our cake.”
“ Yes!” Morgan giggled.
It had all gone so well, it started off with the pair of them watching a video on how to ice a cake and make it look halfway decent. Both Morgan and Loki looked at their own cake and then back at the video, then back at their attempts at icing.
“ What matters is how it tastes,” Loki said.
Morgan however said, “It looks like runny poo!” and how did she know that and what was he supposed to say to that?
“ Nonsense,” Loki said cutting a slice for himself and the girl, the cake did taste good but the longer he looked at the cake the more he could see what Morgan meant. It was rather off-putting.
“ Now what?” Morgan asked with cake smeared all across her mouth and face.
“ You’ll have to wash your face,” he said she ran away, “ Really! ?”
To his surprise Morgan was quite a slippery child, she managed to use their sizes to her advantage. The biggest surprise came when the kid slid along the floor between his legs and out into the garden. What had gotten into her? She was usually so calm and well-behaved.
He chased her out into the garden, where using his shapeshifting abilities he managed to catch her and drag her back inside. Now she was covered in grass, mud and chocolate.
“ What has gotten into you child?” He asked her.
FRIDAY was the one to answer, “You have fed a child inordinate amount of sugar, she is currently experiencing a sugar high.”
“ Why are you humans so complicated?” Loki hissed as he held the squirming girl at arms length. “Now you will need to bathe yourself and change your clothes.”
“ Nuh uh!” Morgan violently shook her head, “Dad says you don’t need to bath until you smell, I don’t smell!”
“ Your dad also says it’s okay to eat two day old pizza, it is not,” Loki pointed out.
“ I saw you eat two day old pizza as well!” Morgan said.
“ Don’t lie,” she wasn’t, but he wouldn’t have her defaming him. The little girl however giggled at him, children in Asgard would never laugh at him like this.
“ More cake?” she asked.
“ No bath and change of clothes,” Loki argued.
Morgan stuck her tongue out at him and was surprised when he mirrored her expression, the pair of them childishly stuck in a series of stupid expressions and taunts. He would not loose to a child!
*****
Pepper returned worried, FRIDAY had assured her that everything was fine and Loki was managing surprisingly well. But Pepper tended to worry whenever she had to spend too much time away from her daughter.
Tony had just a smidgeon more faith in Loki, mostly he was exhausted and eager to go home and curl up with his family. It was less that he had faith in Loki and more that he trusted FRIDAY to alert them should the worst come to the worst.
“… So then Thor ran into the hall, a goat under one arm, the second chasing him and said ‘I found the key!’ his goats had eaten it!” Loki finished her story causing Morgan to fall backwards giggling.
Well that was a story Tony wanted to hear! The bigger question tough was why was Loki (as a woman) wearing Elsa’s dress complete with sparkly ice bits? Why was Morgan dressed up in a miniature suit that resembled one of Tony’s and was that a fake goatee?
“ Do we want to know?” Tony asked them.
“ Yes, but we’re not gonna tell ya!” Morgan giggled running over to her parents and hugging them.
“ Did you have fun?” Pepper asked hoisting the young girl up into her arms.
“ Yep!” Morgan smiled, “We made you a cake, then we ate it, we made pasta! Loki can cook did ya know?”
“ No,” Both Tony and Pepper said utterly surprised.
“ We painted our nails, mine are purple, Loki’s are black,” Morgan showed her mother her nails, then her dad.
“ Very pretty,” Tony grinned, Morgan nodded, of course they were! Pepper handed Morgan over to her father, who balanced her on his hip, soon she would be too big for this. He savoured every moment he could get.
“ Then we played games, we ate more food and Thor even played with us,” Morgan continued without missing a beat.
“ And where is Thor now?” Pepper asked a little worried but more amused by everything she was seeing or not seeing. Shockingly the entire compound was clean, tidy, nothing seemed out of place. It was hardly like this especially when the avengers were home.
“ He’s tied up outside, he’s a grumpy storm cloud and I had to save princess Loki, DUH!” Morgan explained joyfully.
“ Duh,” Loki reiterated while rising to her feet, “Morgan is a fine hero,”
“ I saved a princess!” Morgan nodded quite seriously.
“ Sooo… we should untie Thor?” Pepper asked wondering how they had managed to tie up Thor.
“ He’ll break free eventually no need to worry,” Loki waved off without a care, completely trusting either Bucky’s goats to recognize the god and chew through the ropes or for Thor to get bored and break through the enchantment.
“ Well… thank you, Loki,” Pepper smiled at him grateful that he had done such a fantastic job, at least if Morgan was to believed as she continued to praise the god to her father, “If we’d known you’d be such a great babysitter I’d have asked sooner.”
“ I’ve had centuries of practice,” Loki smiled.
Morgan hopped out of her fathers arms and ran over to the god tossing her arms around his waist she squeezed him into a hug, “Thank you, Loki!” she grinned at him, much to the surprise of her parents. The pair had never really interacted before so seeing this was good, it was nice, it reassured their parental worries.
“ Yes, you are most welcome,” he said patting her head, “It was a pleasure,” and to his surprise he had meant it.