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electrical was painted in darkness. however, it was clear as day to akaashi, despite wishing it wasn't. streaks of blood stained the walls, a body accompanying the scene next to the light switches. the guilt sat heavily in akaashi's baggy suit, which he could only assume was the same weight that kept his feet planted into the ground.
"the vent's right there", he thought. but heart and mind were 2 separate things.
akaashi gritted his teeth, hearing the familiar pattering of boots heading in the direction of the mess beneath him, no doubt to fix the lights. with a shaky sigh, he reported the body. of course, the familiar yellow suit passed the corner, luckily not in time for him to stumble upon the mess. before kenma's view could be tainted, akaashi took it upon himself to push kenma out of electrical and into the dull, pitch black hallways.
"what—"
"you don't want to see it, kenma..." tears he didn't know he had welled up obscured his vision and fell heavily onto his own cyan suit. he kept kenma close, having kenma's head buried in his chest with a warm embrace. akaashi noticed how close kenma and kuroo grew over time, which only worsened the sharp pangs of guilt that coursed through his veins and scathed his nerves.
it didn't take long for kenma's sobs to reverberate in the hall as well.
/ /
the guilt kept a taunting hand clasped over his mouth, leaving akaashi silent during the first part of the meeting. all he could do was stare puffy eyed at his boots, clean of the crimson that was left in that room. kenma was still dazed in silence as well, red faced but with no more tears to shed. it didn't help that bokuto's booming, wobbly voice kept shouting for answers.
"who fucking did it?! i need an alibi. now. i need fucking answers." bokuto acted tough, but the facade meant nothing with his shaking fists and trembling lips.
akaashi's lip tasted of copper accompanied with a burning pain. gnawing on it wasn't getting him anywhere, but he knew him being practically on top of the scene of the crime was suspicious. kenma might have had an idea too, especially with an observant mind like his.
"calm down, bokuto—"
"how can i stay calm, konoha?! my best fuckin' friend kuroo was found dead in electrical. in that stupid room that took the other half of our squad..."
konoha went quiet, brows furrowing and cheeks puffed out. no doubt, he was frustrated. akaashi was too, in a sense. there wasn't an easy way out of this, especially with his alibi and kenma's presence during it all.
"i know, ok? i know and it sucks. we're the only four left, but that doesn't give you reason to make us even more anxious. let's settle this like we should..." konoha's voice was quiet, but still had it's domineering impact. bokuto seemed to get the message since he sat down, albeit stiffly, on one of the cafeteria tables.
"ok, akaashi, you found him. what's the situation," bokuto said, grumbling through gritted teeth. the question of it all shattered akaashi's confidence and made him feel vulnerable. right, it was him who killed kuroo and the others before. he wasn't a bystander, and he'd have to fight against his own friends to get that innocent title.
against himself... between morality and insanity.
should he fess up? it would make it so much easier, right? no, that's not what he was here for. it wasn't for him to choose anyways.
"i was calibrating the distributor at the top of electrical. when i finished..." an idea popped in his head. it was evil, surely, and extremely out of character for akaashi. even so, it just might be his only way out.
"... kuroo was there..." akaashi stared at the floor, forcing his eyes to sting in order to shed convincing tears. well, in a way, those tears were far from fake. the trio observed akaashi's behaviour for clues, like every meeting. it was then that he noticed konoha's form faltering for a second. his gaze softened in what seemed to be pity, and that's when akaashi knew he got one in his trap.
"but," he glanced at kenma, choking a sob and forcing his gaze right back to the ground, "it was kenma..."
akaashi could feel the eyes of someone behind him, large and angered. they were kuroo's, no question, somehow in spirit and probably the cause of his choked up feeling. kenma's silence was halted as his head shot up with widened eyes to glare at akaashi.
konoha and bokuto were tight-lipped, but it was clear that bokuto had taken a foot's distance away from kenma and was now seated next to konoha.
"he was leaving, i saw his yellow suit leaving the scene. that's when i reported it. he probably didn't see me at the top."
"fuck you, akaashi!" kenma's voice, hoarse and damaged, rung out painfully in akaashi's ears. akaashi's humanity was gone, or so he felt.
"listen, that's not true, guys. i was walking to electrical to fix lights. i was about to turn the corner when akaashi pushed me and told me not to look. it must be akaashi." kenma's face crumpled in many emotions, just like his honey suit with each angered motion he'd make with his hands.
akaashi remembered it as clear as day when kenma rehearsed the scene. red splotches of blood were mixed into his memories and tainted the happy scenes. he remembered the way kuroo smiled at him and invited him closer to flip switches. he remembered the betrayed look on his face when the gun was pulled. he even recalled the added heaviness of the gun as it clattered into the vent. those memories just might have been the reason he bit into his lip harder.
once again, they were silent. there was a fight between the glares akaashi and kenma gave each other. the result from that was horrible amounts of tension that hit bokuto and konoha in the face like waves.
"shit," konoha said, crossing his arms and leaning back against the cafeteria table with a sigh. he seemed stumped, a sign to continue for akaashi.
"if you saw me do it, why didn't you report the body?" akaashi rebutted, staring into kenma's feline eyes with extreme hostility. his jaw was clenched in a forced anger.
"you self reported and pushed me," kenma retorted, furious creases littering his face. he must have regained composure, a very bad sign for akaashi. when kenma was composed and given the right amount of info, he was like a second kuroo.
"no wonder they stuck together", he thought.
"wait, wait, wait," konoha interupted, "i know this is adding more problems... but for all we know they could have vented," he finished, eyeing bokuto. akaashi froze in shock, staring into bokuto's now distressed golden irises. the last thing he needed was for bokuto to be blamed, however if he could divert the topic for a second...
"don't look at me! akaashi said he was caibrating, he would have seen me use vents. plus, i was in medbay," bokuto replied, only raising tensions between him and konoha now. kenma also found himself silent, akaashi guessed it was because kenma didn't necessarily see akaashi kill kuroo.
"but the lights were off, he couldn't have seen you then. and you don't necessarily have an alibi since you were alone. maybe you vented from electrical to medbay..." konoha remarked, which only made bokuto roll his eyes. akaashi hummed in agreement, which seemed to spark something in bokuto. a twinge of pain struck akaashi's heart and he faked a frown.
"it was pretty dark... i didn't hear anything, though..." akaashi's voice was calm, but with an undertone of sadness. bokuto whined, banging a fist against the table.
"seriously, akaashi? i was doing a scan in medbay. i know there's a vent in there, but i didn't do it..." bokuto's voice was firm, almost sultry if it wasn't for this situation. for some reason, akaashi found his heart picking up speed. maybe it was because of the way konoha's face lit up.
"hold on..." konoha started. akaashi gulped as his cyan suit seemed to suffocate him all of a sudden.
"if lights were off, why were you doing calibration, akaashi?" konoha asked, and it seemed he hit it right on the dot when akaashi gulped and reddened in nervousness. kenma backed away from akaashi, taking shelter near bokuto's table.
"i-i was in the middle of it and saw kuroo heading for them." he sweat dropped, pulling at his suffocating suit, but not letting his face falter.
"i'm telling you, it was kenma! when i came back down he was just dead," akaashi shouted, making the trio before him flinch. he didn't want to blame bokuto, not after everything they experienced together.
for some reason, bokuto backed away from kenma with an analyzing gaze. he moved to the opposite side of the table.
"it wasn't! it was either you or bokuto..." kenma's voice lowered into a whisper at the end of his sentence. his quietness was understandable. who would think one of your closest friends would kill in cold blood? it was hard to believe, but a harsh reality they had to face for weeks.
"no, wait!" kenma yelled, startling akaashi, "how could you see me 'leave'..." akaashi's focus left kenma's face as a sharp sound pierced his ears. a headache pounded at the back of his skull, but he was immediately snapped back into reality by kenma's unimpressed voice.
"so..?" kenma's arms were crossed over each other as if expecting an answer from akaashi. akaashi was visibly confused, which issued another inspecting stare from konoha.
"can you repeat that..?" he knows it sounded suspicious, but he really couldn't hear it. the stress must have gotten to him.
"seriously?! i said... how could you see me leave if the lights were off? and don't say you heard me because you said you were up doing calibration. you couldn't possibly tell it was me through my footsteps."
"fuck", akaashi thought. his well known habit of fiddling his fingers started, which only made him seem more mistrustful.
"uhm..." a great start, didn't sound suspicious at all.
"and you pushed me at the entrance of electrical, meaning you were nowhere near the calibrator. you were 'in the middle of it', were you not?" kenma made quotations with his hands.
"you were in the middle of a task, but saw kuroo heading for lights in the pitch black of the room? also, wouldn't you have heard kenma kill him?" konoha added. akaashi felt like a fish out of water, gaping at all of their valid points.
"w-well, if i was imposter, wouldn't i have just vented? it was dark enough to do so. and kenma could have killed him quietly..." it was a horrible excuse, and with those minds combined it wouldn't be easy to get out of this.
"no, you were at the entrance when i was about to turn the corner. you didn't have time so you stalled by pushing me." kenma noted. akaashi was frozen, like he was in electrical. the guilt felt like tonnes. he was stunned, how could he mess up that badly?
"no..." bokuto's voice echoed out in an unfamiliar tone. akaashi's head faced the dirtied tile floors. the very floors he met kuroo, as well as the others that were now gone. the floors he greeted everyone and ate cheerfully together. it was the very room akaashi held hands with bokuto under the tables.
"your silence is enough for me, i vote akaashi. if it's not him, it's bokuto." kenma said, standing up for the same routine they'd been playing out for a week now.
vote, stand, send someone out or continue tasks.
"wait... didn't kuroo say he saw bokuto do card swipe last meeting?" konoha asked, which surprisingly did not ease bokuto's stiff shoulders. the sheepish grin that etched itself into konoha's skin did not make akaashi feel any lighter either.
"oh right, you dumbass... it's ok, i trust you, konoha. it has to be akaashi then."
"wait, konoha didn't give us an alibi!" akaashi panicked, spouting those words with one last attempt. bokuto was still silent, a frown complimenting his pale skin.
"i was in communications in the middle of downloads," konoha said without a stutter. akaashi's brows furrowed as he chewed on the inside of his cheek.
"it's true, i passed him after i left navigation to go to electrical for the lights," kenma said, this time monotonously.
"the fact that you're pointing fingers at us just confirms it."
akaashi didn't say anything, or rather, there wasn't anything he could say. the guilt ate at his brain more than the idea of winning this battle. his silence was enough, he knows that now. being silent would save him the trouble of crying anyways.
"i say akaashi. what about you, bo?" konoha questioned, putting the attention on bokuto. it shocked akaashi, and most likely the others, to see bokuto's eyes glistening with tears. the look didn't suit him, but neither did the loving gaze bokuto would give him when they passed in the halls. despite it all, seeing bokuto like this was the last thing akaashi wanted.
"are you serious..? please, just rebuttal like you always do, all smart and sophisticated." bokuto's voice was full of strain and laced with despair. he seemed to be hinting at something, but akaashi ignored it completely.
the white lights of the cafeteria were becoming obnoxious to akaashi, as well as the all knowing glares of his team. his head ached more and the dull colours of the cafeteria meshed and made him feel sick. the least he could do was confirm it, right?
"... i'm sorry..." was all he managed.
despite kenma and konoha confirming their votes, they couldn't help but let their eyes widen and mouths hang open.
akaashi couldn't bear to see them and shifted his eyes to his once again fidgeting fingers. bokuto's sniffle echoed in his ears, as well as the sob that came right after. akaashi didn't even try anything, standing up from the cafeteria table and staggering to the doors of his demise. everyone followed ensuite, not willingly, and possibly still wanting to deny akaashi's murders. especially bokuto, god, he couldn't imagine the despair he felt right now.
the halls looked dull, happy memories threaded into the walls with floors lathered in the bloody scenes he stained those memories in. everything felt foreign, from a different world. like everything he experienced was fiction. the warm welcome he received in the beginning seemed fake and made up. the thought of bokuto's warm hands holding tenderly onto his own made his hands itch. the memory of their secret kiss in communications made his lips wobble, and the sugary taste of that day left his tongue tasting bitter as of now.
akaashi and the trio behind him arrived at the exit. he noticed the shaking in his limbs and the tears that welled in his eyes. he was empty handed, and helmet or not, he'd die. there was no point in grabbing it anymore.
konoha was at the keypad around the corner, pressing buttons to open the doors into the small room that lead to even bigger, metallic doors. beyond that was nothing, no happiness. no tears to wipe away or smiles to admire.
he stared solemnly through the window of the small room, the small room he'd be waving goodbye in. the very room he sent someone innocent out to their end. he'd apologize in spirit, or at least try to.
"take me with you..." bokuto whispered. akaashi froze, but his face was unreadable. he caught a glimpse of bokuto and kenma behind him in the reflection of the window, noticing the tears that began falling from bokuto and the angered expression on kenma's face.
"excuse me..?! don't tell me you're also—" kenma's voice rasped out, startling akaashi to stare back into the small room he'd be entering soon.
"i'm innocent, but let me go with him..."
a slap, loud and clear, was heard. it was so loud it made akaashi turn around and face them. bokuto's face didn't falter, despite the red that began to stain his cheek. his eyes remained locked onto akaashi's. that look alone was enough to make his blurred vision become clear as the tears poured down his face.
"he's a cold blooded murderer, don't tell me you sympathize with him! " kenma yelled, frowning and pulling on bokuto's arm to bring him further from akaashi. he resisted, brows furrowing angrily.
"maybe i do!" he shouted, pushing kenma to the ground roughly. the commotion grabbed konoha's attention as he left the keypad to turn his head over the corner in dread. luckily, no body was lifeless and no blood was shed.
"why in the hell..?! you're insane..." akaashi's heart picked up it's pace once again and more tears left his eyes guiltily. he had no reason to cry, he shouldn't be crying. it wasn't his place to.
"but still... he was so kind! i refuse to believe it was faked... he enjoyed his time with us, i'm sure of it," bokuto whispered, only earning more tears, even a subtle sob, from akaashi.
"well, you just fell for the first trick in the book," konoha replied, which made bokuto kiss his teeth in annoyance. akaashi found himself moving his eyes from person to person dizzily, any longer and his stomach just might come flying out of his throat.
"why would akaashi push you away? why was he crying too...? i know he didn't want to do it, he doesn't want it anymore, he's tired. that must be why he confessed..."
akaashi never took bokuto for the smartest, but the fact that he made up such an excuse was enough for him to believe he didn't truly know the one he came to love. maybe bokuto wasn't that bad after all...
"dude, he totally used you for an alibi. you're in love with a murderer—" bokuto's face fell in emotion. akaashi guessed he took a jab from konoha's words, but he knew very well that that wasn't the case. as well as it worked out, he really did love bokuto. but if making bokuto hate him would ease the pain, he'd do as much as he could. after all, he was a human, and humans were greedy.
he'd make bokuto hate him if it meant saving him.
"stop it, konoha. just open the door," akaashi said, earning a startled gasp from bokuto.
"i'm going with you! i don't care if you used me... i don't—"
"no! i'm just like they said. you don't need to waste your time with me..." akaashi's voice cracked and his knees only shook more. he sent bokuto a look that only he'd understand. bokuto noticed and he flinched as if he took a physical hit.
"then why are you crying? you'll miss us, you'll be alone! you're under someone's command, you never wanted this!" bokuto tried to reason with him, but konoha was already at the keypad again.
"what do you know?! just shut up, seriously..." he was submerged in a pool of guilt, like tar, it stuck to him and wouldn't so easily go away.
"akaashi..." bokuto had it with him and rushed forward, engulfing akaashi in a hug and forcefully pushing his head into his shoulder. this was the last thing akaashi needed, and that moment was the exact moment he shattered. the tears wouldn't stop coming, tainting bokuto's dark blue suit.
"please, just stop this. i know you're innocent, somehow..." bokuto whispered, threading his fingers through akaashi's hair. akaashi had it with this, falling even deeper into bokuto's arms. he went limp from his legs giving out, which startled kenma when they fell, but only reassured bokuto.
"bokuto—" kenma reached a hand out, but stopped when akaashi's sobs sounded painfully in the room.
akaashi's hands were balled tightly into bokuto's suit as he let every emotion he ever felt leave his system. he was human, no different from a monster. he wanted forgiveness, he wanted pity, he wanted comfort. akaashi didn't want to leave.
akaashi never wanted to let go of bokuto despite it all. he didn't want bokuto to hate him. he didn't want to hate bokuto. he'd do anything.
it was the last time he could be free, and he'd use it wisely.
"i didn't... i never wanted this. i'm sorry, i'm so sorry. i know it won't fix anything, but please... believe i never wanted to do this..!" his voice was muffled by bokuto's shoulder, but still rung out clear for all to hear. the apology was directed to everyone, but in a sense it was personal.
"..."
it was silent, painfully silent. he didn't dare look up and continued to tremble in bokuto's arms. a hiccup was heard, and when he pulled away for a second, he noticed kenma's tear streaked face. puffy and red, like his own. akaashi felt guilty for making him cry again, burying his head back into bokuto's shoulder. bokuto held onto akaashi tightly, and with a shaky sigh, he spoke.
"i love you, akaashi... don't do this."
time froze.
akaashi's heart thumped louder than anything in that room at those subtle words. it was such a small sentence, but it meant everything to akaashi. despite the countless hugs, hand holding, kisses and compliments, not once did he ever hear bokuto say it.
"...don't say that now!" he managed to shout, but still clung to bokuto's back. his sobs worsened.
"sorry..." without warning, bokuto backed away and helped akaashi up to his feet. akaashi was still shaky, teetering while keeping his hand clenched on bokuto's dark blue sleeve.
"do we really have to—" bokuto was cut off by the blaring of alarms and the bright red light that drastically changed the atmosphere of the room. it gave akaashi time to breathe. as much as he didn't want to leave, there'd be no way to build back what he destroyed. there'd be no way to revive everyone he killed. akaashi would burn in hell for eternity if it meant something. so, with what little strength he could muster, akaashi pushed bokuto roughly away.
the door was open now. his feet took him in there, but everything felt like a blur. his eyes were still watery, yet he still managed to make out the door handle and pushed the door closed.
"no! no, akaashi get out of there!! it's not your fault!" bokuto screamed, though muffled. it made akaashi's breath hitch and he flinched when bokuto began pounding his fist on the glass.
this was no smiling situation. the heavy doors behind him were opening. everything was going to be gone forever. but he smiled, he smiled for bokuto. no tears, just a bright smile. bokuto didn't stop, begging konoha to stop what was happening. akaashi got close to the window, placing his hand against bokuto's trembling fist.
"i love you too..." his voice was nothing to the alarms deafening his ears. even so, bokuto managed to get it. that look of bewilderment and despair was all akaashi needed to turn around and leave for the wide open abyss.
with a small wave, he watched bokuto slide to the floor in defeat with muffled wails. with nothing left to lose, he exited into eternal nothingness. at least out there he wouldn't have to witness everything. at least out there he could still forgive bokuto.
at least out there, in the freezing abyss with no day or night, he'd still be able to love bokuto.
"i'm sorry..."
Akaashi Keiji was not The Imposter