Archive of Our Own

It was a freeze-your-balls kind of night, but Cid had to stop and light a cigarette before going any farther.

The flame of the lighter trembled between his shaking hands and, after several attempts, the tip caught fire. He took a couple of deep drags, burning the cigarette almost to the middle, before releasing the smoke to the icy air between chattering teeth.

“The fuck happened here?”

Standing in the middle of Rocket Town, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. The town was a huge fucking mess. Houses had been completely destroyed, piles of wood and rubble where buildings had previously stood. Thankfully, those were the fewer, although most houses showed some kind of damage. Before him, the corner of his own house's rooftop had collapsed over what was -or rather, had been- Shera's bedroom. 

Dark and lifeless stood Rocket Town and his house in the cold night. 

And Shera's room had been destroyed. 

If this is some kind of metaphor, I fucking hate it. 

He took another long puff from his cigarette as if the smoke could drown his own racing heart. 

“I leave for a couple of days and everything falls to fuckin' pieces,” he muttered, as he resumed his walk towards his house, smoke discarded to the ground. An unease expanded inside his chest, spurring him to walk faster, although he dismissed it as an effect of the cold sinking further into his bones. It almost made him shiver, but that was a sissy thing to do. Shifting his spear to one shoulder, he grabbed the doorknob and turned it. Then frowned. The door was locked.

“The hell?”

That door had never been locked, not since he had moved there. He hated locked doors, always getting in his way to get things done. Cid turned the knob in both ways, without any result. Then, pushed in and out. Nothing. With an exasperated sigh, he released the handle and fixed a glare in it, as if he could force it open with just his will. He was getting angry. The hell was that woman thinking? She knew he hated it when she locked the door and hadn't done it again since he yelled at her not to. So probably there was only one reason why the door was locked.

She is gone.

He didn't dare look up towards her destroyed bedroom nor to think about any other possible consequences related to it. He just kept glaring at the locked knob, the fears that had assaulted him in his way home and that he kept pushing to the back of his mind now coming back in full force, summoned by the silvery shine of that doorknob under the stars.

Shera was gone.

He wanted to smoke another cigarette. Or twenty.

Letting the spear drop from his shoulder to the floor, Cid leaned on it and kicked the hard-packed ground. Well, it wasn't like she had something that tied her to that place anymore, with him and the rocket gone. Nor had she said anything about waiting for him when he had set out to rejoin Cloud and the rest a couple of days ago. She was free to go wherever she wanted and live her life. But damn if it didn't bring an unusual bad taste to his mouth.

Cid kicked the ground again and spat. He would have to bring down the fucking door now since he hadn't brought his key. He should have grabbed it before leaving for the Northern Crater, but back then he'd thought she... It doesn't matter now, anyway. It served him right for taking things for granted.

He reached for the doorknob one last time before trying to smash the door open with his shoulder when the characteristic sound of a shotgun being charged came from the other side of the wooden plank.

“Who is there?”

Cid froze in the spot, looking completely dumbfounded at the door before him. That surely must had been a gust of wind messing with him, because that voice had sounded like Shera's but much more determined and... fierce, and that couldn't be possible.

“I said, who is there?”

It took a few seconds for Cid to find his tongue again and say something.

“Shera?”

After a moment of silence that was far too long for Cid's liking, the answer came in the form of a much more gentle whisper he did recognize.

“Cid?”

The knot his guts were tied into disappeared suddenly and it spread something stupidly warm inside his chest, something that by all means wasn't intense relief. And if it was, it was because he wouldn't have to break in his own goddamned house. Or wasn't it? Anyways, he was freezing his ass out there and the damn woman wouldn't let him in if he didn't answer.

“Of course it's me, woman! Who else? Open the goddamned door!”

“Oh my... Just a minute!”

He heard her moving around the other side of the door, followed by the sound of a heavy object being pushed away. Cid frowned. Shera hadn't just locked the door, she'd also barricaded it. Whatever she had done it for, it wasn't just to keep him outside the house, as some bitter part of his brain was telling him. No, she must had had a serious reason to do so.

Very serious, if the sound of the fucking shotgun being loaded to shot my face off was any indication.

Finally, the doorknob clicked and turned, the door opened, and Shera was there. She was holding a shotgun, fortunately pointing to the ground and not at him. She was a mess, like Rocket Town. Shera was wearing her flannel pyjamas and fluffy slippers, all covered by a long, thick, woolen night robe. Her loose, brown tangled hair framed her face, and even in the poor nightlight, he could see the dark bags under her eyes.

All in all, he hadn't ever been happier to see her.

Maybe he was having visions due to the cold and exhaustion, but that gesture on her face looked a lot like a small smile tugging at her lips. And at his heart too. What nonsense. 

“You look like shit, woman.”

The little smile quivered and then disappeared. Cid wanted to punch himself in the face and dislocate his jaw so he couldn't use his stupid mouth anymore. Too much for keeping your resolution of treating her better, you jackass.

“It's nice to see you too, Cid,” she greeted him, gesturing to the inside of the house with the hand that held the shotgun. “Welcome home. Please, come in.”

Cid crossed the threshold, still kicking himself mentally, and she closed the door behind him. Then it hit him. Darkness filled the kitchen and it was almost as cold inside as outside the house.

What the...?

“Why's there no light nor heat in here?”

“Oh sorry, wait there.”

He listened to Shera moving around him, staring at the dark and wondering what in the hell she was doing. He was puzzled and the lack of a clear response from her made him feel a pang of anger trying to awaken his temper, but he gritted his teeth and kept it down. He had screwed up enough already, so he shut up and waited for her to finish.

Soon enough, a rasping sound caught his attention and a flaring flame appeared, trying to catch fire in the tip of a candle. The dim light barely managed to fight back the darkness, just enough to illuminate Shera's hand and face. He turned his gaze away from it, blinded by the sudden light and not because she looked rather pretty in the golden glow that kissed her features. Flickering light and shadows of his kitchen appeared slowly around him and he could now see a tall pile of blankets on one of the chairs around the kitchen table. Shera took one from the top and held it out to him.

“Here, take this.”

Scowling and at a complete loss, he grabbed the blanket. And then he couldn't take it anymore.

“The hell, woman. Can you fuckin' explain what happened here already?”

Shera sighed, sitting down between the several cushions and blankets that covered her usual chair, and started wrapping herself in them. Cid guessed it was there where she must have been when he arrived, nested in her favorite chair since her room was in ruins. Probably sleeping. On a fucking chair. Instead of using his bed. This goddamned woman.

“The Lifestream did all you've seen,” she finally replied, her voice calm, as she looked up at him from deep inside her blankets, the blinking light reflecting on her glasses.

Cid dropped himself heavily on his chair as realization sank in and it felt like the weight of the blanket on his shoulders had suddenly tripled. He passed a gloved hand over his face, the other tightly gripping the shaft of his spear: he needed all the support his old weapon could give him.

“Shit. I thought it came out of the ground only in the Eastern Continent, never occurred to me it had affected this continent too."

“It did, and although the streams that came through here weren't as big as some of the ones we saw crossing the sky, they left a trail of devastation in all they touched.”

Cid nodded, having witnessed first hand at Midgar what the Lifestream could do, all the damage it had left behind, the many wounded... and dead.

“Was anybody hurt?” Cid asked.

“Luckily, no. Nobody was in the houses that got damaged. We were all outside watching the Lifestream wavering towards the horizon, where Meteor lingered low and wondering what was going to happen.”

Cid nodded.

“It all went towards Midgar, that's where the damned rock was goin' to impact.”

He felt Shera's gaze locked upon him, piercing him to the bone, eagerly awaiting more explanations.

“You were there. You did it,” she said, not one of her timid questions, always trying not to bother him, but a firm statement.

He shrugged. After a moment of hesitation, he looked up and their eyes met over the candlelight.

“We did what we could. Killed that bastard Sephiroth, let Holy take its course, and much like you, waited and wondered if it was goin' to work,” he broke eye contact, his gaze wandering to the shadows dancing over the kitchen's floor. His thoughts flew to the shadows that had played over the Highwind's deck when the Lifestream had erupted and the feeling of helplessness that had assaulted all of them, while they watched in silence. “We couldn't do anythin' more. Just stare and wait, hopin' for the best, hopin' that Aerith's death hadn't been in vain...”

Shera's hand over his glove took him back to reality from the absent and full of sorrow path his memories had led him to. The murder of Aerith in front of their very eyes was still a fresh wound, and for Cid had been a world-shaking event. No one so young and full of life deserved to die like that, and the fact that they couldn't have done anything to prevent it tainted the feeling of loss with soul-wrenching guilt and impotence.

Cid fell silent and focused on Shera's hand. It was so much smaller than his but equally rough, sporting scars and no longer washable grease embedded in the fingerprints. Her nails were cut very short and one of them had broken recently, growing again to cover the tender flesh underneath. Cid wished he wasn't wearing gloves so he could feel her touch and the comfort it offered. Several days ago, when he had visited before the last battle against Sephiroth, he had told her about Aerith's death. Just like now,  she had seen through his stern façade and silently offered her comfort. And, as he had wanted back then, he now too wanted to grab her hand and squeeze it tight, take her in his arms and drown in her warmth, accepting and thanking what was given so freely.

But, just like back then, he didn't.

You are a coward. 

It took all his will, but Cid tore his gaze away from Shera's inviting hand. His eyes fell then on the object that had greeted him upon his return home and clung to it as a getaway.

“And what about the shotgun and the barreled door? I had forgotten you had that thing, ” he said, gesturing to the weapon. He tried to sound as nonchalant as possible despite those stupid shaky emotions that were raging inside him and that he could not for the life of him comprehend. Fucking coward, what does it matter? Man the fuck up. You don't deserve how nice she is being to you, how nice she has ever been to you. She should have shot your lame ass instead of letting you in and caring for you, the least you could do is show some fucking gratitude. Is it that difficult?

Apparently, it was.

Old habits die hard.

The weight of Shera's touch disappeared from his hand as she reclined back in her chair. He immediately felt the longing for it, but he had already missed his opportunity. Stupid shit. Instead, he reached for the package of cigarettes, having the urge to do something with his hands.

“Oh, I almost forgot too. I took it out of storage a couple of days ago when you went away. And the barrel at the door... It was a defensive measure I had to take while I was waiting for you to come back,” she answered, avoiding to look at him.

“Defensive measure? Against what?” Cid was taken aback, the smoke he'd just put between his lips forgotten. Even with all the damage, he'd seen coming in, he'd thought Rocket Town was a safe enough place from all the shit going on lately. Selfish prick, taking more things from granted. I never thought the Lifestream would damage the town; what else happened that I didn't anticipate?

In her chair, Shera seemed to sink further between her blankets.

“Well, despite the fact that Meteor was gone and everyone in town was excited about it, I had a bad feeling… A hunch.” Shera shook her head, smiling sadly. “I know what you’re thinking: ’Shera and her hunches! What craziness did she think happened now.” 

Shera chuckled at her own joke, but Cid had to fight back a scowl. Her words were like a punch in the stomach, more so when they were his own. He had spewed cruel shit like that for years, mocking her and the value of her feelings. Going by her tone, she hadn't meant it in a mean way, but he hadn't been ready to have them thrown back at him, so deeply wrong as they had proven to be. You don't like to be reminded how much of an asshole you have been to her BY her, do you? 

"I woke up early this morning and found out nothing electrical was working," Shera continued, unaware of Cid's inner turmoil. "Following my concerns, I went to the Reactor and found the Mako pit was empty." 

“Empty?” the detail picked up Cid's attention. 

Shera nodded.

“Yes, empty, not a drop of Mako in it. The reserves had disappeared too, most probably consumed overnight. The production of electricity has completely stopped.”

“And how long did the rest of the town take to discover it?” he inquired, now having a hunch of his own about where the story was heading and feeling the anger start growing inside his chest.

“Not long,” Shera sighed. “They came here in the afternoon. At first, they were polite enough, asking if I knew when you were going to come back and find a solution to the energy problem. But then...” she shifted in her chair, visibly uncomfortable. “When I couldn't tell them anything about you, they started asking things... about me.”

“What things?”

“Apparently, somebody had seen me coming back from the reactor and they wanted to know what I had been doing there. But as I tried to explain to them about the lack of Mako, others that had joined later started to yell...” she stopped, drawing air with difficulty. Cid could see she was holding herself up as best as she could, although her trembling frame under the blankets was something that didn't pass his eye unnoticed. He gritted his teeth and took the cigarette out of his mouth, unconsciously crushing it between his fingers. Despite how shaken she was, Shera kept talking in a voice as steady as she could. “They said it was all my fault, that I only wanted their misery and that I had ruined their lives again. I-I tried to explain to them, but they didn't listen. And then, they started to get violent-”

Enough!

Cid's fist met the kitchen table, hard and loud, interrupting her. Shera jumped on her chair, startled and shocked by the furious look on his face.

Cid was trembling with rage. He was so pissed he could barely control himself from exiting the house and dynamiting the shit out of that goddamned town full of idiots.

“Those motherfuckin' bastards!” he cried, jumping to his feet. Then another realization hit him and almost made him go berserk. “They didn't do anythin' to you, did they? 'Cause, if they did-”

“No, they didn't,” Shera rushed to answer. “I had my shotgun in hand and they backed down the moment they saw it. I told them they'll know when you'd come back as soon as you did and then closed and barricaded the doors.”

Cid nodded, setting his jaw. She knows how to defend herself. He hadn't just forgotten about her owning a shotgun, but that the shotgun was an old souvenir of her time working in the Weapons Development Department at Shin-Ra, before she got transferred to the Space Program. She may have more knowledge about how to create a good tactical defense and how to blow through one than him. Shera obviously didn't need him. 

Still, guilt lingered in his mouth. She may not need him, but she was but one against a whole town. I left her alone, I should have been here to protect her. It was too late for that though, he knew that, but he would make things even. That was an offense he wouldn't let go away unpunished.

“Fuck yeah, they will know I've come back, those goddamned bastards. And they'll fuckin' regret I have,” he said while he paced around, his hand holding the shaft of his spear very tightly, making more than clear his intentions.

“Cid, please-”

He snapped around, pointing a finger angrily at her.

“Stop it, woman, don't make excuses for them! Nobody comes to my house, threatenin', and spillin' shit all over it! I'll teach them to think before openin' their tramps and blamin' somebody that has nothin' to do with what's happenin'!”

Shera shook her head.

“I wasn't going to make excuses for them, Cid. I was going to beg you to not act hastily. You're too angry right now to think straight-”

“I'm thinkin' straight alright, Shera. Those fuckin' numbskulls had no right to say what they said and to treat you like that.” Neither did I all these years, but that's goin' to change now, startin' here. He could see the surprise on her face at his words, but he didn't hesitate. He'd made up his mind. It was about time to stop being a coward about her and the way he felt for her, and start facing the facts. He barely deserved anything she would give to him, but the least he could do was try to earn it. “They will apologize, I can promise you that.”

Shera looked at him, speechless. After a few moments, she closed her eyes and sighed tiredly.

“Cid, you don't have to force them to-”

Cid snorted and sat down again on his chair. The woman could be infuriating, but then again, she knew him well, because that's exactly what he would have done not so long ago. But the journey with Cloud and the rest had changed him, he had to admit. He was still prone to outbursts, that's for sure but now had a cooler head over his shoulders. Growing up and shit, they called it. 

“Ain't goin' to force them to do anythin', Shera. I'm goin' to make them see how fuckin' wrong they are.” She looked at him with a skeptic eyebrow raised, and Cid shrugged. “They are engineers, lots of them, aren't they? They need to sweep away the webs coverin' their goddamned brains after so long without usin' them and start thinkin' again. All this tourism thing they've been livin' off has brainwashed them. For fuck's sake, even a kid would have realized that the Mako Reactor doesn't work because there is no Mako in it, with the Lifestream goin' out of the ground and everything. We have to begin lookin' for a new energy source.”

Shera nodded slowly, as if unsure of what to make of Cid's calmed temper. She hesitated for a moment, before speaking again in a murmur.

“Or further research old methods that are still available to us. ” At Cid's questioning glance, she explained, a confident tone in her voice. “Well, there is coal, but I was thinking in the refined kerosene we used for the rocket. It came from the distillation of petroleum and was actually one of the many kinds of fuels that could come from the treatment of oil. The research on them was abandoned with the discovery of Mako efficiency. Looking for those old researches and continuing them could be a place to start.”

Cid grinned.

“It's good to know that at least one brain is still workin' in this fuckin' town.”

Shera smiled back at him, pleased with what could pass as a compliment coming from him and the way he so openly had accepted her opinion. Cid felt his own grin transforming into a broad smile. Pat yourself in the back for that one. You made her smile.

“So, you gave them a nice fuckin' scare when you took out that shotgun of yours, uh?” he had to admit he was kinda proud she had stood up to those bastards that had threatened her. 

She gazed down as if she were embarrassed by what she had done, but Cid could tell by the way her smile slightly widen that she was proud of herself too. Fuck, she is one hell of a woman. About time I pulled my head out of my ass and admitted it.

“Yeah, they looked rather... shocked.”

“I bet some of them pissed their breeches.”

The sound of her laughter was almost alien to his ears and he wondered how long had it been since he had heard her laugh that way. He liked it. I should make her laugh more often.

Even if it was still very cold inside the kitchen, Cid couldn't feel it anymore. Something in the atmosphere was different, although he couldn't put his finger on it. He only knew that Shera was there with him, her laughter still vibrating in the air, and a smile clinging on her lips and eyes. I had missed when she smiles. She looks so pretty when she does. It brings up such a nice sparkle to her eyes, she could illuminate the whole room with it. He found himself smiling too, as he let those unrestrained thoughts wash over him. And for the first time, he felt calm and at peace with them, just basking in her smile. 

“You look very tired,” came Shera's voice.

“I feel like a beaten dog,” he chuckled. But a happy dog. The weariness Cid had upon his arrival had overtaken him for a moment and he had almost fallen asleep without noticing. His eyelids seemed to weight like rocks, but he managed to pull them open and look at Shera's understanding smile.

“Go to bed,” she suggested, standing up and wrapping herself out of her woolen cocoon. “I'll be up in a minute with extra blankets, I have to block the door again first.”

“Let me help you with that,” Cid offered. He stood up too, leaning heavily on his spear to do so. Damn, I'm fucking exhausted. And cold. My fingers feel like popsicles and I didn't even notice before.

“I can -,” she started saying, but he was already at the door, dragging the barrel and turning the key in the lock.

When Cid turned around, Shera was loading her arms with blankets and looking at him with an amused look on her face.

“What?”

She shook her head.

“You're stubborn as a mule.”

Cid gave her a lopsided grin as he walked to stand before her.

“Might change my name one of these days. Now,” he took the heap of blankets from Shera's arms and gestured with his head to the table, “take the candle and lead the way.”

Shera regarded him with a raised eyebrow for a long moment, and Cid could tell she was trying to decipher what was going on with him and his new and strange behavior. Shera knew him very well -hell, better than he knew himself sometimes- and surely had thought she had him figured out after all those years. Well woman, you are in for some surprises that threw me out too. Cid chuckled inwardly.

Shaking again her head, Shera finally took the candlestick and her shotgun from the table and headed for the stairs. After rearranging the blankets under one arm, Cid grabbed his spear with the other and followed her to the upper floor. Once in the hallway, he looked over to Shera's room. In the dim light he could see the door was closed and, on the end of the hallway beside it, there was a pile of what Cid guessed were Shera's rescued belongings.

“I saw from the outside that the roof had fallen over your room,” Cid said as he left the blankets on his bed. “How bad is it?”

Her back was to him as she put down the objects she was carrying on the nearest nightstand, but he could hear her sad sigh.

“It's in ruins. The roof collapsed over my bed and desk.” She turned around and started unfolding the blankets over the bed's cover, avoiding his gaze. Nevertheless, Cid could see that her face had fallen down with sorrow. “I barely could save anything from it, aside from clothes and some other things. My books, my notes... everything is in there.”

Cid sat down and took off his boots. They were torn and filthy as shit and probably had some on them too. Once off, he threw them into a corner; they were useless, as most of the clothes he'd worn during the trip. He stood up and continued undressing, Shera’s familiar presence neutral rather than embarrassing.  

“Tomorrow I'll take out all the rubble and your things, see if anythin' in the structure has been badly damaged.” Cid missed how Shera looked at him then, busy as he was inspecting the old flying jacket he'd taken off. He finally sighed, giving up on any hopes to save it, and threw it onto the growing pile of discarded clothes in the room's corner. His goggles followed next. For a moment, he held the packet of cigarettes and considered lighting one, but for some reason, the mere thought exhausted him. He discarded it too and faced Shera, starting to unbuckle his belt. “I'll check how the roof can be fixed too.”

“You'll do that?” Shera asked, still staring at him with that strange shine in her eyes that looked a lot like incredulity.

“Sure. This is my fuckin' house too, ain't it?” his pants came down and Shera looked away from him, which Cid almost appreciated. As his clothes came out, his body had started to react to the cold and, at the moment, there wasn't much to be proud of inside his underwear. The hairs in his legs stood up in goosebumps and the freezing floor was turning his feet into blocks of ice inside his shocks. It was taking all he had to stand manly and not start jumping like a sissy from one leg to the other nor go rushing to the bed, as inviting as it was, as Shera smoothed out the several layers of blankets over it.

“It's done,” Shera announced, straightening up.

“Fuckin' finally,” he muttered and grabbed his shirt to take it off. A grunt escaped his lips as lightning of pain ran down his back when the piece of clothing went over his head.

“Oh my- are you ok?” Shera rushed over to where he stood, worried about the contorted expression on his face. “I'm so sorry, I haven't asked you if you were hurt! Do you need some potions?”

Cid made a ball of his shirt and chuckled, both pleased and a bit bothered by Shera's sudden fussing over him. But that's how she gets when she worries. She was scanning his whole exposed skin now, searching methodically for any unhealed wound. The pain quickly subsided and Cid smiled, amused by the seriousness on her face.

“Nah, I'm ok. One of the Highwind's crew members patched me up, so there is nothin' to worry about,” he threw away the filthy piece of clothing and shrugged. “I'm just too fuckin' old for all this shit.”

Shera's head snapped up and Cid was taken aback by the intense look in her eyes.

“You are not old, Cid. The ordeal you went through... would have taken a great toll on anyone." She seemed about to say something else, but instead just smiled, her expression softening. “But now is time to rest. There is still a lot to do.”

“We can't catch a break, can we?” Cid said, grinning down at her.

“No, we can't,” she answered, locking eyes with him and holding his gaze. She wasn't shying away from him anymore and he liked that. He should have never gave her a reason in the first place to avoid looking at him, to avoid voicing her opinions to him. His anger had always been nonsensical and he regretted delving into it as deep as he had. He had missed on a lot of things by doing so and he hoped it wasn't too late to make amends. But something inside Shera's dark brown eyes told him it wasn't too late. That it never had been.

That something sparkled for a moment before Shera talked again.

“But it beats waiting for those Shin-Ra's fat-asses to restart the Space Program, don't you think?”

Cid couldn't help the barking laugh. It poured from him, loud and sincere, without any of the bitter restrain that had tied his outbursts for so long. It felt so liberating and it only got better when Shera started laughing with him.

“You got that right, woman,” Cid said, when both calmed a little, a wide grin still on his face. “Now we can do whatever we want, whenever we want to. We depend on those bastards no more.” The relief and freedom of those statements filled his chest. He felt he could take over the world, achieve anything he wanted. But again, the heavy burden of exhaustion that weighted over his limps reminded him that first, he had to rest. “And right now, we are goin' to sleep.”

Shera nodded and signaled the bed. Cid didn't have to be told twice. The cool sheets greeted him, and he shivered for a moment before covering himself with the several layers of heavy blankets. Warmth invaded his cold skin immediately. As he lay down and stretched over the mattress, his muscles promptly began relaxing, losing all the accumulated tension. Cid closed his eyes and drew a deep breath, enjoying the sensation of being back on his bed, warm and cozy, and finally giving a rest to his battered body.

“Holy fuck, this is fantastic,” he proclaimed. 

“Are you warm enough? I can add more blankets before heading downstairs.”

Sleep had started taking a grip on him, but that kicked him fully awake again. Frowning, Cid propped himself on his forearms.

“The hell are you goin' downstairs for? You aren't thinkin' about sleepin' there, ain't you?”

Her deer-in-headlights expression was all he needed to see. 

“I-”

“The fuck, Shera? I'm not lettin' you sleep in a goddamned chair!”

“Cid, I don't think is appr -,” she started, but he cut her right away.

“I don't fuckin' care what is appropriate and what is not. This is no time to think in motherfuckin' decorum. It's cold as balls out there, there is no heat, and only one bed left in this house so we are goin' to share it. Move your ass over here and get inside the goddamned bed.”

“Cid...”

He sat in the bed and, bending forward, squinted at her.

“Who is being a mule now, eh?”

She was at a loss of words at that, her jaw hanging slightly open, and Cid knew he had hit the nail right in the head. After a few seconds, Shera let out a long sigh.

“Ok, you are right. We'll share the bed,” she conceded, approaching its edge and the winning looking pilot inside it. “But only if you slip to the other side. I'd rather sleep in the right one.”

The triumphant smirk on his lips quickly died.

“Damn it,” he muttered but did as he was asked. Grumbling and cursing between his teeth, he moved all the way to the other side of the bed, where the sheets were still cold, which drew a heartfelt “Fuck!” from him.

“There, that's enough room for ya?”

“Yes, thank you,” she said with a small smile and a strange twinkle in her brown eyes that automatically made up for the cold sheets. He was still trying to figure out what it was when she blew off the candle. Darkness swallowed everything.

Cid blinked. He couldn't see shit now. What the hell was that expression on her face? He could have sworn it looked like contained joy, but it had been too long since he had seen a similar expression from her. It was back when they were still working in the Space Program and she happened to make some groundbreaking calculations that earned wide apprise from her fellow teammates. As always, she acted humble about it in from of her peers, but Cid had caught her alone, right when she was finishing her calculations and the meaning of them was sinking onto her. Her face had started to radiate with her inner feelings and then an ecstatic smile had spread upon her face. But it was that moment, the moment right before her feelings reached and changed her face, what had stuck in Cid's mind. Was it the same expression she was wearing a moment ago? Was she now smiling widely in the protection of the darkness? He wanted to know. Bring your ass down from the clouds, you ass-hat. You are so tired that you are seeing things. Where the hell is she anyway?

He blinked again and tried searching the darkness for any sign of Shera, but it was no use. He was completely blind. Then, the sound of something metallic clattering against a solid surface caught his attention and he turned his head to where it came from. He squinted but still couldn't see anything, so he concentrated on his hearing. Seconds later, he caught the rustling of clothing against clothing and then, a sharp intake of breath.

“Holy sh-,” the profanity ended with a long hiss, and Cid laughed out loud.

“Hurry up, get in!” he said, pulling away the blankets. The shift in the mattress told him she had wasted no time in the cold air and had launched herself inside the bed. He swiftly pulled back up the blankets and covered her. Still hissing between now chattering teeth, he felt her frantic attempts at grabbing the blankets. His arm got mixed with them in the process and ended up around her shoulders. Cid could feel how badly she was trembling. 

“Holy fuck, Sher. You're movin' the whole bed with all that shakin'.”

“I-It's o-o-ok. I jus-st ne-e-ed one- min- to ad-adju-s-st.”

“Fuck that.”

Wrapping his free arm around her waist, Cid pulled her towards him, until her back was settled against his chest. His body molded to hers, as his larger frame covered all it could of her smaller one. Cid untangled his other arm from the blankets and rubbed his hand up and down her upper arm, warming up her skin with the friction of his large palm. The trembling started fading after a couple of minutes.

“Much better now.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“No need for that, Sher.”

Cid stopped stroking her arm and let his hand fall on the curve of her waist. He felt her tense under it, but relaxed right away. A breath he didn't know he was holding escaped from his chest and he relaxed too. Or he tried to. 

With Shera resting between his arms and his body spooning hers with her approval, they were so close Cid could feel and smell her. And it was quickly getting to his head. 

The fruity fragrance of whatever shampoo she used to was her hair was flooding his nose, faint as it was, since she couldn't had bathed for more than a day. But it was the smell under it, the dim scent of sweat from the day's turmoil what was awakening in him the terribly desire to snuggle his face into her neck and take a long, deep breath of her bravery. 

Cid swallowed. Had this been a good idea? Her closeness was stirring very primal things inside him, things he never thought he would feel for her. Yes, he had feelings for her but... Was he physically attracted to her? In all the years they had known each other, he had never looked at her that way. 

Hahaha, seriously? You are a fucking master at denial. 

Shera shifted against his chest and her butt brushed lightly against his thighs. Cid had to suppress a curse. 

NOW you remember, do you? 

Yeah well. He had admired descreetly, almost begrudgingly, her fine round ass a couple of times. Or rather, whenever she was not wearing that stupid lab coat of hers concealing how snuggly her pants fit to her backside, hanging low on the curve of her hips... 

Flood gates that had been kept repressed through misplaced anger and callousness were cracking fast, so fast Cid barely had time to realize what was happening before he had to start battling the ardent desire to explore more of the bared skin he felt under his hand and discover what other parts of her body she had unveiled before jumping into bed, to ride the valley of her waist and the plains of her belly, to take a hold on those hips of hers and press his growing erection onto the curve of her shapely ass...

Get your mind out of the gutter, Highwind! Yes, Shera is beautiful and sexy as fuck, but she doesn’t deserve to get the living shit scared out of her because you can’t control your fucking feelings. Get a grip or you’re going to ruin everything, you goddamn pervert. 

Thankfully, Shera's sleepy voice took his attention away from his inner conflict. 

“Cid?”

“Yeah?”

“I'm glad you're back home.”

It surprised him, it really did. After all he had put her through, he didn't expect she would be happy to see him again. Relieved? Sure, since it was obvious even to a numbskull like him that she cared for him and wanted to make sure he was ok, save and sound. But genuinely happy of having him back into her life, when he had left her without even a “Goodbye”? Not a chance.

“Really?”

“Yes,” she answered with a small chuckle as if it were obvious. 

Cid swallowed hard, that goddamned fuzzy feeling spreading inside his chest again, making him feel lighter, warmer. Happy. After a few silent seconds, he muttered.

“Me, too.”

Shera sighed deeply and snuggled closer to him. Cid didn't try to stop the huge smile pulling at his lips and held her close, listening to her calm breathing. Something stirred in his groin again as their bodies pressed together, but he had no trouble fighting it off. He would do things right, she deserved that much. 

"Good night, Shera." 

"Good night, Cid."

With that promise in his heart, he let physical exhaustion and, fuck it, emotional too, win him over and he succumbed to slumber.