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the silent winds whispered across the lands, sending quiet shivers down the teens spine as his gaze lingered over the rooftop a little longer.
it was late, passed midnight from what he could tell at this point. the sky was dark with a near pitch black, the only light in the sky was the dots that were the stars, and the tiny, crescent, resting idly in the sky, which was the moon. the street lights were turned on, though, it was on for no one in particular. no one was out this late due to the chances of running into a street thug. or mayhaps a criminal doing small time crime, that wasn't yet considered villain yet, but it was still bad and against the law. or, some just may be that unlucky to run into a villain.
izuku knows hes one of those unlucky few. he somehow manages to always get into trouble, whether it was small or it was him fighting off a villain, thug, or whatever that had instigated the fight, and him being the one to defend others around himself.
that excuse, though, had long stopped being usable and others started to just consider him a problem and more so a trouble magnet. his friends became too protective, too babying, and too much for him to handle when some, ochako, would stop him in mid battle saying he should sit it out. all with a pitiful smile and a sickeningly sweet tone before she, or another friend forced him to sit out and they jump head first into battle like a bunch of hypocrites. izuku hated it.
but he hated it more when his teachers looked more tired and disappointed of him trying to explain how he ended up hurt, how he ended up in the situation he was in or how he had managed to get into another attack today. he hated how all might would have a flash of negative emotions run across his face when izuku would have to run down his problems, again, before he would just sigh and do his best to smile and try and cheer him up. though it never works. it never does anymore.
more than anything, he hated how his mother was too accepting of his failures as if she wanted him to fail. she would do her best to encourage him, but she made it clear as day she still had some hope for him not to be a hero. that she didn't like that he was in yuuei, let alone in the heroic course of it.
izuku felt himself sigh, his shoulders shuddered as the wind around him, cooly wooshed-- as if it was mockingly holding him in a comforting embrace, toying with his already mirthless and bitter emotions. to add to his dismay, izuku heard heavy steps approach from his back. for a moment he wondered, if it was his teacher, aizawa. he knew the man was underground and work late more often than not. he also knew the man knew he was also out of the dorm hours passed curfew on a school night, without a teachers permission at that too. which would give him a bigger reason to search for him.
though, listening closely izuku knew it wasn't his teacher. his teacher didn't walk heavy like that. his teacher didn't have ragged breathes like a wild dog -- or more accuratily, wild animal that was unhinged and was ready to attack without any questions asked. and more importantly, his teacher didn't have dry, callus, fingers that all but one scrapped dangerously around his throat with a tight squeeze. izuku instantly knew who the person was, and wasn't his teacher.
"shigaraki." izuku breathed out with what little air he was allowed to have thanks to the villain, currently holding him. he could see from his side view, the crusted face of the light blue haired man give a twisted grin as he merely side stepped out of the shadows, though still holding his grip around his neck, to stand a bit closer to izukus side.
"isn't hero brats like you supposed to be asleep? i know its passed your bedtime by now." his voice was high with faked concern, while his head was tilted, as if was so curious and worried with why izuku was out so late. though, izuku had knew his concerns was a lie, with a slip of a finger, izuku could be crumbling into the ground and turned into dust if shigaraki got bored enough with talking to him. and he just might get that bored.
"i wanted to be alone. this was the only way i could be." izuku wasnt sure why he gave the answer to a villain, and he wasn't sure how he was able to answer in such a stable voice. inside, he could feel the panic brew, but it was so slow. it was nearly unnoticed if deku didn't focus on the eerie feeling of if he fuck up, he might die to night.
"oh? and what could possibly stress you out huh brat? too much smiling today? oh you poor baby!" there was a mock of disbelief in shigarakis voice while his face matched the look that made izukus stomach churn with an negative feeling that felt hot almost as if his blood was boiling under his skin, making his heart pump harder against his chest. he felt -- upset. and he was upset. he narrowed his eyes, and took in the best breath he could, though it was sharp, and mostly uncomfortable with shigarakis hands pressed firmly against his throat.
"no, i want to be alone because no one seems to understand me or at the very least, they gave up with understanding me at the school. i needed to think and i needed space. i wouldn't get it at home because my own mother would give me the same pitiful and painful look since, oh no, her son is a hero! she just barely believes in me, only better than when i was younger. god it was worse when i was younger.." izuku muttered the last part, though he knew the villain heard him from the eased up grip for a few mere seconds and his faltering look in his sharp, glowing, ruby red eyes.
izuku should care that he was telling a villain all of this of all people, but, he just couldn't help to not care. he had a course of emotions running though him that wouldn't let him shut up, and those emotions shouting the loudest being his anger, not particularly at shigaraki for what he said, but he was paying for it just for setting izuku off. he could feel a heaviness in his chest, that left a sour taste in his mouth and left his mind racked if he even tried to focus on what that emotion was. but he knew it was loud and that he didn't like it. the last one he mostly felt was disappointment, though he wasnt sure what for and who at. maybe it was to himself, he had to guess.
"tch, for a hero little brat you're just as complicated and fucked up as a villain." the hand was released from his throat, and shigaraki was seated next to him, in a calmer manner. izuku didn't dare comment that he was being a bit nicer to him, even when he wanted to hear why. was it out of pity? izuku for some reason doubted it. the look in the other eyes said no, and he was bound to just agree with it.
"i wouldn't say im fucked up just yet, shigaraki. i do have a complicated life but it never brought me down." izuku says with a weak chuckle, as the other villain latter raised a measly brow at the statement.
"id say you are. heroic system failing you, broken family and you left in the middle. you can't tell me one point in your life, even before u.a., brat, you was beaten down. after all you said it was worse." shigarakis tone was harsh, but he made valid points that teen couldn't argue. not without looking like an idiot. before u.a., his mother and him never had a great relationship -- not since he was four. the quirklessiness broken apart what good relationships he had with friends, with family, with anyone really and turned it upside down.
his father left after one drunken night and he just finally snapped. he nearly set the apartment on fire if it wasn't for his mother getting him out when she did. they got a divorce the week after the incident. after that, his mother was distant from him and throwing herself into work trying to keep them living in the apartment and food on the table. on most nights, izuku remembered he had to stay with mitsuki because his mom just was never home or came back too late for him to stay by himself.
then the heroic dream of his made things worse with him and his mother. she wanted him to be safe, to be in her own protective little bubble while he never wanted that. he wanted to go out and adventure, to write down fights he see with heros and villains -- to just be out there in the world! his mother had disapproved, even when he even at one point tried compromising saying he'd even settle with being a quirk analyzer. she hated that job as much as a hero, she said it still sparks his heroic heart and he still needs to work near hero's. they got into a argument that night, and their relationship fell completely apart that day.
his mother never exactly let him do things either. curfew was six, unless he told her where he was going and texted every hour and absolutely responded back to her. he also at one point in time had a freaking monitor in his room so his mother could watch his movements when he was alone. he destroyed it the very moment he saw it, but ended up grounded it for three weeks. he didn't care, it was creepy as hell. but no more creepier than the times when she just touched him like some baby, needing constant attention and didn't know how to do things by himself. he was twelve during the time, and it only stopped when he screamed at her to please stop doing it.
so yes, him and his mother had a bad relationship, and its only barely better thanks to the dorm system. though, he could say the hero system didn't fail him. yet. they just didn't exactly believe in him as much as they used to, or they think he's a bit of a problem when he's alone. maybe its the latter, he really hopes it is.
"its.. mostly a broken family then. the hero's havent done anything yet and i don't think they will." izuku says with a sigh. he could see from his side, that shigaraki was curious, even if it was only a little, though he made no move to ask any questions. izuku wasnt sure if he was grateful that someone wasn't actually pressing in his business, that someone wasn't demanding to know the why's, what's, or anything else. or that he was more so upset it just had to be a villain who he currently found more comfort in than his own peers.
izuku just ignored the last thought, and allowed himself to actually be happy for a bit longer. to let himself fall into the traps of being silently comforted by a villain. he can have more time to worry about his actions later.
"i.. um.. was qu- quirkless. my dad was alcoholic - or well, he turned into one when he found out his son isn't going to have a quirk. he uh, came home drunk a lot. some nights he passed out which was fine. other nights mom would have to shove me in the room so i don't hear them argue about my worth and that i should be sold away to some quirkless experiment lab. the walls were thin, i heard every last angry shout of him and every last cry of mom." izuku told the light blue haired man next to him, who was deadly silent, listening to the words that izuku spilled without any thought.
it felt strange to the teen, it almost like he was talking to a friend. not an person who could kill him, or would like to kill him. or an enemy that he would need to fight next time he sees him. just an long time friend that's there for him. izuku thinks he likes that idea, even if he isn't supposed to.
"they got divorced after a bad drunk night for dad. he came home screaming about if mom didn't get rid of me, that he will do it for her. and if that meant he had to kill me, so be it. that day, he nearly burned down the house with his quirk which was fire breathing. after that, mom changed. she had worked so much that my neighbor had to raise me for nearly a full year since she wasn't exactly around unless it was a quick good morning. though, eventually she came around i guess, but it didn't mean we had a good relationship when she was back."
izuku leaned back onto his arms, as he looked up at the even darker sky. hours passed, he could tell. he should be going back to the dorms soon, but a large part of him strangly didn't want to leave. he hopes him slowly opening up the villain doesn't make it harder to fight him, he doesn't need to become attached.
"i had the dreams of a hero, she had the dreams of her baby boy staying at home in a protective bubble where she runs the show. that didn't happen though. we argued a lot since she often did things that made me uncomfortable such as touching. she treated me like an actual baby, as if i never grew, even though i was beyond old enough to do things on my own. she would place monitors and cameras in my room, in other places in the house if she could, just to watch me. i always broke them if i saw them, that got me in trouble.. usually grounded.. it only got slightly better when i was able to move into the dorms. though, i don't think our relationship will ever be good again." izuku says, swallowing the lump in his throat as he took the courage to glance over at shigaraki.
the blue haired villain had a look on his face as if he was considering something or that he was thinking, it made izuku eye brows knit while his head tilt. he wonder what shigaraki had to say, he couldn't say his input didn't make him a bit curious.
"your mother is a bitch, an abusive one it seems. i despise her type especially. she could be seen as the typical sweet natured mother who's just trying her best and a tad bit overprotective. who was dumped by her deadbeat husband so she's a single mother who's oh so busy for her son and shes doing her best but no." izuku frowned, and felt the urge to step in and say something but the look in the latters eyes told him to listen. after all shigaraki, of all people, listened to him. izuku could do the same. even if he may not like what he has to say.
"but really she's not. she neglected you for a year, so your neighbor raised you for a while. then when she was finally not busy enough for you, she came back with a toxic midset that you were glass. seriously, quirkless ain't fucking weak or helpless! and yet she thought that, she treated you as such, which meant putting her own fucking son down in his repulsing dreams of being a hero, but still. and to make things worse, she treated you like a baby. a, literal, baby. all while she made you uncomfortable with the touching and camera system she had going on. this isn't physical abuse, no. but this is emotional and mental abuse and its disgusting."
by the time shigaraki was had finished speaking, parts of the ground, cracked and disintegrated into pebbles. izuku found himself in a shocked silence at what the older man had said, it was true as much as he wanted to ignore it. he felt bile rise in his throat as tears caught in the corners of his eyes, but he refused to cry. not now, not in front of shigaraki.
though, izukus body didnt seem to even listen to his orders of not to cry. instead, his body violently quivered, while his throat felt like it was burning at every last second -- as if it was closing up with him forcing back the sob that wanted to break through. though he could see he was failing from the sudden shift from anger to exasperation with shigaraki staring at him.
the tears started to fall, and they fell so fast, cutting down his freckled cheeks and jawline and dripping onto the hard ground like pouring rain. izuku felt so vulnerable and so embarrassed. izuku didn't want to cry, he had time to break down in his dorm but not in front of a villain who had a look mixture of being down right tired to blatant amusement.
"tch.. fucking brat." shigaraki muttered and izuku felt a pair of warm arms warp around his trembling form. izuku was midly confused, izuku was slightly scared, and izuku was partially happy that he was getting a hug. he didn't care who or where it was from, he needed it. he just shut off his thoughts this once, and allowed his body to succumb to the warmth of shigaraki, allowing himself to cry more.
he would think about his actions and what they truly meant later. for now, he was happy that he had someone at his side.