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So here was the thing: Luke had visions now. Not like "Back To The Future" type shit or something, but when he slept, he got these weird images that seemed like memories but they haven't happened yet. He knew this, because most involved Julie.
It started after they played at The Orpheum and healed, Caleb's tattoos evaporating into the air and leaving them on earth for a little longer. Luke secretly hoped he would never leave (Alex, on the other hand...), because if they couldn’t play music on the other side - then what?
But that night, after they hugged Julie and she went back to the house to celebrate, he took a nap. Despite the returned feeling of power, Luke had been tired . Almost dying really took a toll on a ghost. And that was when it happened. The visions. To be fair, he wasn't sure if that was what he was supposed to call them, but he couldn’t really talk to anyone about this, so: it was “visions”. Reggie would just make insane, convoluted plots and Alex would freak out. Unnecessary.
The first time, it was of him and the guys playing in Julie's garage. And while it looked like a memory, he didn't recognise the song, nor did Alex have the hoodie Vision Alex was wearing. It almost felt like cheating, hearing a song he hadn’t thought of himself yet. Luke hadn’t written it down either. He wanted to, but he saw too many sci-fi movies back in the day that he didn’t want to fuck up the world or the universe or whatever.
The visions were always casual. Them jamming, joking around with Ray and Carlos, performing at gigs, celebrating Julie's sixteenth birthday - until suddenly it wasn't so chill anymore.
Vision Luke was in the kitchen this time. It was daylight. He was making a beat with the utensils laying around, a soft tune playing in the background from the old radio. His hair was shorter; still shaggy, but shorter nonetheless. Alex would probably cut it. Vision Julie came in, hopping on the kitchen island and animatedly talking about their upcoming gig. Luke plopped a grape in his mouth and grinned. It was the most lifelike vision he ever had, seeing every pore and crinkle in their skin, Julie's eyes gleaming in the way they always did, Luke smirking like he used to practice in the mirror back in '94. Another reason why Luke knew it wasn’t a dream: it didn’t have that flighty, vague aura around it.
Vision Julie walked to the fridge, Vision Luke following and gently placing his head on her shoulder, arms wrapped around her waist. She muttered something about clinginess with a smile and he simply pecked her temple. Before she could grab anything, he pulled her up and twisted away from the fridge, her legs flying as he went. She was squealing, both blissful expressions on their faces. He turned them once more, because he could, and placed her back down. She teasingly punched his shoulder and he loomed over her with that ridiculously goofy smile Alex and Reggie made fun of.
'It anyone likes to touch someone, it's you Jules. You dig Human-me.'
She rolled her eyes. 'Obviously.'
Luke sprung upright in a rash of sweat, breathing heavily. What the fuck? What the hell was that vision saying? He was gonna be human? Vision Julie didn't look like an adult yet, so soon? Would the boys too? Was this even real? Or were the visions really just figments of his overactive imagination and he was reaching for things that weren't true. Would never be true.
Reggie noticed the sudden jolt first. 'What's up?'
It was still dark outside. Alex was snoring on one of the chairs.
'I, uh, had a weird dream.' He couldn’t tell the guys yet. Not until he had definite proof the things he was seeing would happen.
'You can dream?! Dude, I'm jealous. All I see is black.' Reg pouted, clearly annoyed he had a "bonus power" or something. Luke wanted to laugh. If only the guys knew.
'What was it about?'
He scrambled for the first terrifying thing he thought of. 'Uh, Caleb.'
Reggie nodded. 'Oof. That guy was creepy. Amazing style though. I miss those suits.'
'You know you can just conjure them, right?'
'Eh, not the same.'
Luke sighed, falling back on the couch. Sweat matted his forehead, heart throbbing in his throat like he ran a marathon.
Julie and him. Kissing. In her kitchen. Both as humans.
Warmth began to burn in his chest, rippling his skin with flustered curiosity. Would they become a couple? He would be lying if he said that he hasn't thought about it. When she looked into his eyes (God, that look on her face), or when she touched him, subtle pats on his shoulder or hand or face. He has thought about raking his fingers through her curls and caressing her cheeks and kissing her and something pulled behind his navel every time she got too close and too far at the same time. Luke liked her. That was an objective fact. He was pretty sure she felt something too, but with the whole ghost thing going on, the concept of a relationship was essentially obsolete. Alex got lucky with Willie. They could do anything.
But if he became human…
How though? He was dead . Six feet under in the Orange County graveyard. The fact that he was here, could play his music for an audience and touch Julie was a miracle of its own. His mind wandered to the band. If they became real, what happened to the band? They couldn’t be Julie and The Phantoms without the Phantoms part. That was their whole thing! People would lose interest if they just stayed and didn’t flash away.
Without closing his eyes, the visions burned behind his eyes. Vision Julie and Vision Luke were now dancing around the kitchen, twisting feet and grabbing hands and they looked so unbelievably happy it made Luke ache. Yearn . It felt like a cruel joke. Why couldn’t that be his reality?
Luke fell into a restless sleep, finally devoid of visions but he knew they were etched in his soul. Gold, in Julie's handwriting.
The first vision that came true was the first he ever saw. Alex sauntered in with a bag from Urban Outfitters. It was a pink hoodie from a brand called "Iets Frans…" something neither of the three could pronounce but it was a cool hoodie so Alex got it. He didn’t question how he got it - or begin to understand as he was perfectly content with his own clothes - and became antsy when he realised it was The Hoodie. It was starting.
'So I had this melody in my head for days now,' Alex started, sitting behind his drum set like a king on his throne. 'It goes something like this.' He began to drum a tune, Reggie bobbing his head to the beat and tapping his hands against his thighs. 'And then,' the blonde continued, 'I have these lyrics that go: I live for, I long for you-'
'A love song?' Luke wrinkled his nose.
' Ooh , yes! The girls will dig it!' Reggie and the validation of girls: the ultimate combination.
'We're not a boy band!' Luke was adamant about that. Boy bands were never taken seriously. They were a rock band . With kick-ass songs and the best venues and they talked about real shit.
‘Luke, look I know you and Julie write the songs but… Willie inspired me. I called it “William”, but he wanted me to change it.’
Reggie picked up his bass, ready to work on it. ‘A love song, Lukey. You’re gonna ooze chemistry with Julie.’
‘Stop saying “ooze”.’ Alex pulled on his new sweater. ‘But yeah, the audience will love it.’
‘They’re gonna devour you guys!’
‘Jesus, Reg!’
Luke groaned. Ballads and love songs were meant to stay between the pages, not all out on stage. It was too personal. It wasn’t like he was gonna make them perform “Emily” on a casual Tuesday night. The vision was coming back to him: Reggie messing with his bass, Alex taking the lead in the song, Luke lingering on the side. Now he knew why. Love songs would totally mess up their whole vibe! He halted. Jules would love it though. A nice change from the rock anthems. He sighed, giving into Alex’s enthusiasm (it was nice to see him smile again, genuinely) and asked what came next.
‘How would you name the person?’, Alex asked.
‘Uh.’ Luke pulled himself out of his rut. ‘Something that ends with a Y or an A. Y’know, something that easily rhymes.’
‘I live for you, I long for you Juli-a?’, Reggie tried, mirth in his tone. His perpetual smug expression annoyed Luke today.
‘Can we please focus on the song?!’ Luke was getting agitated. The fact that this vision was coming true down to the details was making him lose his mind. Alex scratched his nose. Yeah. Exactly like the vision. He couldn’t even roll his eyes at the dumb joke.
Alex studied him. ‘You okay, dude?’
‘Yeah, just… couldn’t sleep. Doesn't matter.’ He shook his head, but the image of Julie and him slow dancing on the kitchen tiles to an old 70s ballad was all encompassing. ‘And “Julia” doesn’t work, we need another syllable.’
Reggie tutted his lips. ‘I mean… I used to have a crush on an Olivia.’
‘Ooh, that girl from calculus?’, Alex pointed out.
‘Yeah! You remember her?’
‘Yes! She lend me her pencil once.’
‘Aw, nice.’
‘Guys,’ Luke quipped. His head was hurting. ‘I think “Olivia” is cool. Let’s do that.’
They continued on the song for hours, Alex and Luke working on the lyrics whilst Reggie busied himself with chords and melody. It was quicker then most, with Alex having most of it written down already. Together with Luke’s linguistic charm, simple sentences became lyrics. Luke was watching the clock every time he got, yearning for Julie to walk into the garage at 4 PM sharp. Her own edge would complete the song.
And time is irrelevant when I've not been seeing you
The consequences of falling out
There's something I'm having nightmares about
‘I love how different this is from anything we’ve played.’ Alex readjusted his cap, grinning from ear to ear. Luke smiled at him. In a different universe, Alex would’ve been a broody solo artist crooning love songs in smoky dive bars.
When you go and I'm alone
You live in my imagination
The summertime and butterflies
All belong to your creation
Luke nodded. ‘A good different.’
(Julie walked in 4 PM sharp in a bright blue jumpsuit and ready to rehearse. The surprised look on her face when they told her they already finished a song was priceless, and Luke finally felt like he was able to breathe again. The tug in his chest pushed him towards her for the rest of the day, standing close enough to feel the heat buzzing from her skin.)
(He was drunk on Julie. And he didn’t care. Because she was looking at him the exact same Vision Julie looked at him in the golden light of her kitchen.)
(They sang “Olivia” two weeks later at Charlie’s Shack, one mic in the middle of the stage for Luke and Julie to stand chest to chest as they sang the lyrics into each other’s eyes. The audience ate it up. Julie had a flush on her cheeks for the remainder of the night.)
***
Her sixteenth birthday was exactly like his vision. Julie sneaking out before dawn to watch the sunrise with the boys on the beach, eating her tía’s waffles for breakfast, shopping with Flynn, and rocking out at The Orpheum once more with a full arsenal of new songs. It was a great day and a smile never left Julie’s lips. He had been a little uneasy though. Julie aged; the boys did not, and while that sounded appealing at first, he knew this meant the band had an expiration date.
Julie couldn’t play with teenage boys when she was forty years old. That would be weird. She’d look like a cougar or something.
Luke hugged her backstage after they took in the last wave of applause from the roaring audience, both drenched in sweat.
‘You were amazing!’
‘So were you!’, she grinned. ‘That guitar riff? In-sane!’
He chuckled, raking a hand through his matted hair. ‘Thanks. Look, I, uh, don’t have a present for you because y’know, we’re ghosts, so I hope this wa-’
Before he could finish his sentence, Julie reached up and pecked his cheek so fast he almost thought he imagined it. His lips parted, stunned.
Julie looked up at him, green locking with brown and he was stuck. Fuck, he was hopeless. ‘This show was more than enough. Truly.’
He pressed a smile on his lips and nodded, keeping composure. His mind was flailing because Julie Molina kissed his cheek and it made him feel more human than any show he’s ever played. It should scare him; the way Julie fought for the top spot in his soul where music has always been, unbothered. Until now.
His cheek burned until the morning.
(Luke complained about his hair the day after. Alex cut it, just like he expected. It was pretty much the same, the ends just didn’t touch his neck anymore. He looked less like an unkept 90s kid and more like a boy from 2020. Luke felt Julie’s stare on his temple for the entire afternoon, dazed. It boosted his ego, the boys noticing the slight shift in character too. Later, Alex asked what that was about, and Luke blamed it on the haircut.)
(Luke’s head would be in her lap in the weeks following as they mused on lyrics, her fingers mindlessly going through his hair.)
(Neither would notice how his skin gleamed the closer they got. Neither would realise the molecules inside his body becoming firmer with each caress of her hand.)
***
The weeks following, the band (including Julie) wrote more love songs. Alex has gone head first into a relationship with Willie and was on Cloud Nine 24/7. It was a little annoying at times, him often spacing out with a goofy smile smacked on his face, but they were happy for him. Alex’s past life was pretty fucked up. He deserved this.
Reggie was on a creative high too. Who knew that when you died, you had a lot of time to practise the bass and essentially become a pro? His shredding was insane! Because of this, he brought a lot of flair to the newer songs, some of them having a cool, jazzy element that he probably picked up from Caleb. Luke was thrilled with how the band was evolving.
And then there was Julie.
Julie never left the garage anymore. She was there before school, after school, and sometimes a quick run during lunch. Alex found her a little manic, but Luke was encouraging it. Sure, her hand was cramping last night for a full fifteen minutes because of how quick and long she had been writing, but her writing has never been this good! It was more mature than their firsts and Luke was a little envious. He always prided himself for his ingenious writing and wanted to be seen as the next Bob Dylan or Kurt Cobain, but maybe he could learn a thing or two from her. They derived inspiration from similar experiences, but when it came to love, it seemed like she had a step up on him. It unnerved him.
Also, because he was fifty percent sure the songs she wrote were about him.
The other fifty were for that Nick guy. He has yet to figure out why Julie specifically liked him. Sure, Nick seemed like good dude and according to Julie he was also into music; but they just didn’t have the same energy. Reggie said he was jealous. Maybe. (He was done pretending to the guys.) Maybe he was fucking irritated that he was a ghost and that, the more time went on, his “vision” of them in the kitchen seemed more like a hallucinogenic dream and not an actual prediction of the future. So yeah, he was bitter.
Luke and Julie were the only ones in the garage that night. She was sitting in the back, engulfed by the ferns, bend over her notebook. Her tongue was poking against her cheek, humming underneath her breath. Luke laid on the couch, aimlessly staring up at the ceiling as he willed lyrics and musicality to come to him. He was fruitless. Shit. He hated being in a creative rut. Especially when his friends were thriving!
‘You got anything?’, he called out.
‘Mh-hm.’
He perked up. ‘Can I hear?’
‘Yeah, sure.’ Julie moved to the couch, Luke sitting upright to make space. He smiled at the lack of it she left between them, knees touching whenever she shifted around. It was as if the second the group knew they were corporeal to Julie, they took every chance they got to be in contact. It definitely made their performances better, Luke mused. Julie hesitated for a moment, fingering the edges of the paper before placing it in his hands. He understood. Their songbooks were sacred.
‘I don’t wanna sing it yet.’
‘Sore throat?’
‘No, no, just…’ She shook her head. ‘Just read it. Please.’
We were a fresh page on the desk
Filling in the blanks as we go
As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead
Leading us home
‘This is good,’ Luke muttered. Julie was looking the other way, face hidden by a curtain of curls. ‘Is it slower or…? How are you imagining it?’
Julie finally looked at him. ‘Not super fast like our normal songs, moreso the tempo of “Olivia”.’ She hummed the melody of the lyrics, making Luke smile. Julie wouldn’t be able to stop singing even if she tried.
And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
‘Cornelia Street?’
Struck by the way her expression changed, he knew it had significance. ‘I found my mom’s diary a few days ago and… she used to live in London in her twenties. She had this whole life I didn't know about! But, she had this list inside of all the cool street names she saw when she was there.’ Luke softly placed his hand on hers. ‘Cornelia Street was the first one.’
And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name
And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
Oh. Oh . His heart stopped.
Barefoot in the kitchen
Sacred new beginnings
That became my religion, listen
Luke looked up at her and met her frightened eyes. Both knew what was going on, nothing had to be said because really: what was there to say?
‘I don’t know what to do,’ she whispered, voice thick with dread and fondness and nerves. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Julie liked him back and wrote a full song about it and let him read it and - oh my God his visions were correct. His breath shuddered.
If he wanted to, he could kiss her.
He shook his head. ‘I don’t… I don’t either. But. Come on, Julie. I.’ He tried to collect his thought but everything in him wanted to slip his fingers through her hair and pull her closer and feel the softness of her skin with the pads of his thumbs. He didn’t want to think rationally. Alex was supposed to be the overthinker - not him!
‘I don’t know what’s right or wrong,’ Luke continued. ‘I want this. I really want this, believe me. But, I…’
Julie chuckled, bitter. ‘You’re a ghost.’
‘Not to you,’ he grinned, trying to lighten the tension.
It worked. Somewhat. ‘Not to me.’ She sighed. ‘But I don’t want to be the one stopping you from crossing over.’
He grabbed her hands. ‘What if you’re the reason I cross over?’
‘So I lose you? No matter what?’ Julie scoffed, trying to pull her hands to her chest but he held on tight. They couldn’t push away. Not right now. Not again.
‘Jules, that was always… you and I both knew that was always the end result.’
She averted her gaze. ‘I know.’ Tears brimmed at the rims of her eyes. ‘It’s just so unfair.’ His hands itched to wipe the skin under her eyes but before he could do that, she pressed her forehead against his. ‘I really like you, Luke.’
He let out a shaky laugh, cupping her cheeks. ‘I like you too. A lot.’
Julie shrugged, a smirk edging on her lips. ‘I know.’
Luke closed the little space between them and kissed her, heat travelling from the crown from his head to the pull behind his navel that snapped like an elastic and made his skin ripple with goosebumps at the feel of her lips against his. Julie inhaled deeply and pressed closer. Whatever he felt on stage was nothing compared to this. This was pure nirvana.
And then they heard someone walking to the garage and Julie pushed him away, him tottering to the floor.
‘Hey, Julie, I’m gonna pick up you brother fro-’ Her dad halted and his eyes zeroed in on Luke. He froze. What . Breath got stuck in his throat. Could her entire family see him now too?
Julie sprung to her feet, realising what was going on and let out a shrill response. ‘Hi, dad! This is Luke, from the band! He just flew in from uh, from where he lives and yeah. Uh, Luke, this is my dad.’
Luke scrambled upright, eyes wide with fear as he put out a shaky hand. ‘Hi,’ he managed to say.
Ray quirked a brow at his odd behaviour, shook his hand, but said nothing. ‘Nice to meet you. Uh, big fan! Julie, I was going to say I’m going to pick up Carlos from soccer. Let’s talk more later, okay?’
The two nodded, stunned and afraid of what in the world was happening, and watched as Ray left with a dubious look on his face. Yeah, buddy, they were confused too.
The silence overwhelmed them. Luke was the first to break it.
‘I’m-’
‘You’re-’ They said simultaneously.
He tried again. ‘How-’
‘But, you’re-’
They stared at each other, incredulous, neither wanting to move in case the spell broke. Then, she giggled.
Julie flung herself into his arms. He held her tight, burrowing his nose in the crook of her neck that smelled like vanilla and something distinctly Jules and laughed, wholly. Relief spread from his chest to his entire body, easing his muscles and burning his cheeks from happiness. Holy shit.
Lukas Patterson crossed over from the dead to the living. He had no fucking clue how that was even possible, but it didn’t matter. At least, not now. He could figure everything out tomorrow when Alex had a mental breakdown over it. For now, he’d hold onto Julie and kiss her until she pulled away.
(But even then he’d chase after her lips.)
‘Julie and The Phantoms are gonna go through a lot of changes,’ he mumbled.
Her eyes gleamed as she shook her head. ‘Let’s not think about that right now.’
Right. He should think about how he admitted to liking her and got to kiss her and hold her and that he was human again. Probably human. (Right. Worry for another time.) Alex and Reggie were going to tease him for the rest of eternity.
It was only one week later when Luke found himself waiting for Julie in her kitchen. He’s been sleeping on the couch in the garage ever since Ray found out about him, as we wasn’t sure how to go about being amongst the living again. He couldn’t exactly knock on his parent’s door and expect them to be okay with their dead son coming back after 26 years when they saw him getting lowered six feet down. And so, he was sleeping on their couch.
Reggie and Alex had been, as predicted, mindblown.
‘Kissing her made you… alive?’ Alex had to sit down.
‘Woop woop!’ Reggie cheered. ‘Team Juke!’ When they shot him a look, he said: ‘What? Flynn taught me about ship names.’
Alex shook his head, going back to the subject at hand. ‘So instead of crossing over to heaven or hell or whatever, you just became real again.’
‘Yeah,’ he grinned, still in disbelief. Julie was antsy it was only temporary, but he knew it wasn’t. He could feel it.
‘Wait, but that means we all have different goals,’ Reggie deduced, catching on. ‘Yours was kissing Julie, and I don’t think we need to do that too.’
‘No thank you,’ Alex and Luke said simultaneously.
‘But what is our unfinished business then? It wasn’t The Orpheum, it’s not getting famous and playing gigs around LA, -’
‘It’s not dating Willie,’ Alex muttered.
Reggie faltered for a second. ‘Right. So. What is it?’
‘And what’s happening to the band?’, Alex finished, eyes fixed on Luke. He shifted. He didn’t know. They haven’t played a gig since he became real and the group was still figuring out how to go about it. How to explain to an audience how “Julie and The Phantoms” was now “Julie and Luke and The Phantoms”. It didn’t really have the same ring to it. And Luke has tried to see if he still had his powers, but nope. He was just a mediocre human like everyone else now. (Unfortunately. Teleportation was fucking awesome.)
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘We can still play. I think that by now they like our music more then the whole gimmick of appearing, y’know? We’re an actual band now.’
Alex pressed his lips into a grim line. ‘So, we’re a gimmick?’
Luke was shocked. ‘What?! No! That’s not what I meant! Dude, it’ll be as awesome as before but now I’ll just… go onstage from the wings.’
And that was that. Reggie diffused the situation with an offhand joke and no one discussed it ever since. Their next performance was upcoming Friday and like Luke had proposed, he’d walk in from the wings. When it was time for soundcheck, they would figure out from there. “Winging it” was basically their band’s motto.
And now, Luke was waiting for Julie in her kitchen, mindlessly tapping a beat on the island. She walked in moments later in a fluttery, red dress that made him stop his movements and watched as she took a bowl of grapes from the fridge. She hopped on the counter.
‘Flynn said our venue was sold out in thirty minutes! It’s gonna be our biggest concert yet, I’m so! Excited! I think we should have a band meeting tonight and figure out the setlist. What do you think?’
Luke smiled in the way he thought Alex’s smile was goofy, and nodded. He plopped a grape in his mouth.
‘Sounds good.’
‘Oh! One of tía’s best friends is a costume designer and she wants to work with us on performance wear. Reggie would like a custom leather jacket, right?’
He chuckled. ‘He’d die all over again.’ Luke loomed over her, palms pressed by her sides. She quirked her brows, amused.
‘What? You’re cute when you’re passionate.’
Julie chuckled and slipped from between his arms. She opened the fridge again. And that was when it struck Luke. In a surge of tenderness, he took two strides and wrapped his arms around her waist and propped his face on her shoulder. Her curls tickled his face, him pressing a kiss on her temple.
She giggled. ‘You’re so clingy.’
Before she could grab anything, he pulled her up and twisted away from the fridge, her legs flying as he went. She was squealing, eyes crinkled with bliss. He turned them once more, because he could because he was her boyfriend , and placed her back down. Julie punched his shoulder, but the gleam in her eyes told him something else.
The visions have stopped as well. He was human now, so he just dreamt. It was a relief not knowing what the future held anymore. That he was just like anyone else to figure it out. But maybe there were some side-effects to reincarnation: he felt everything strongly . It was like he got Alex’ emotional intelligence times a million where he could sense what others were feeling intensely. Specifically, Julie. It felt like he knew her on another level.
He hasn’t told her about it. Not sure either if he ever would. He got another chance at life, so he should enjoy while in the moment, right?
He peered at her. 'It anyone likes to touch someone, it's you Jules. You dig Human-me.'
She rolled her eyes. 'Obviously.' Then, she turned up the tune from the radio with her phone and grabbed his hands, pulling him into a dance.
In that moment, Luke didn’t care if everything went to shit. He didn’t care if the repercussions of living again would bite him in the ass. He’d figure it out.
But in that moment, he could hear her heartbeat, and his, and that was all that mattered. And he kept listening until the room went dark.