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"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
-Leo Tolstoy
"Carthago delenda est"
-Cato
It's in London where Abigail discovers herself.
Not the cultured and warm Venice, the beautiful place cited by Hannibal every time the mood strikes him, to gift her with narrations about his time in the Italian city. He speaks fondly about his becoming. He expresses of Venice so fondly and is almost like the site where a beautiful woman who once upon a time teaches a young man how to make love. Teach him how to be a man.
It's anything like his becoming. Hers is cold, grey, and somehow ruthless in the inevitability, but it's quiet and calm too. She doesn't need the practice, nor the blood or the bowels because Garret already teaches her what to do about them years back. Is not a baptism of blood.
She knows that the event will be an "only once told" story and with one spectator: her father.
She's not crazy, she only thinks in the archetype: Garret was his father, he gave her life, he was a cannibal, he tried to kill her. Hannibal is his father too, he gave her life again, he is a cannibal, and she knows that to him she is a little more than a pawn. He would try to kill her. Eventually.
Her mother, Louise, in her ignorance was ambivalent until the last moment. She was calm, warm affection. The purest love. Will is her father too… the idea is not stupid because he is kind and patient and in his decisions lies Abigail's future, Abigail's life… until the last moment too. The purest empathy.
Abigail watches, with tears in the eyes and rage in her heart, the inspiration of her future first artistic work: Destruction of the Father. She tries to stop the tears, hide them in the sleeves, and a scarf like she usually hides his neck scar. Holds against her will the attention of some assistants and the nearest museum keeper every time more nervous about this little girl going hysteric in the middle of the cold room of the exposition.
She tries to leave the place one, two, three times.
She started to look at this piece from one hour ago but can't look away. It's like a hammer smashed against her head something that woke her up from a very deep and nebulous dream. She can feel Louise Bourgeois' afraid, ire, anguish, and jealousy like they were hers. But they are, don't they? Because the story of the families, even if they're not blood-related, repeats itself once and again.
If Abigail hates something is this feeling of inevitability.
The Dead of the Father has a center, a flat stage table-bed-like who conjures all kinds of feelings with its sole illumination and concave forms around. Like inflamed cells or falling breasts. The nightmarish wish of a child who wants to erase the familiar wound.
Dine on the flesh and blood of the father; make his bed and dine on the corrupted to make the space sacred again with tears and blood. To make the father never betray again.
It's in London. Harsh, cold London (like a father, like a lover). where Abigail discovers what is to be a woman. A lioness, a harpy, a bitch. She discovers that a girl it's the sharpest knife and the most tender of the creatures. She feels deflowered.
---
It all started when Will realized about her participation in the deaths of the other girls. And above all, of Nicholas Boyle. Shocked, his father goes straight into a psychotic episode in the cabin where Garred killed his victims. And this is one of the moments where Abigail takes the proactive decision to not let the story repeats itself because of her naivety and fear. So she stays with Will. It's until they are in the air on a plane when her father regains awareness and sees over her again with keen eye and doubt.
"What happened? I lost time?" He declares not without worry and with a broken voice, his eyes hold the fear of somebody who knows unconsciously that is fevered and dying. His skin looks waxy, nothing like the precious pale that he sports so handsomely. So she tries to explain with all detail what happened. About the seizure, the fever, his conscience in time out.
They discover a pattern. Like a spider web of electrical pulsations.
It's on the airplane when they speak about lost time, convulsions, episodes, fevers. About off symptomatology to be discarded for any medic, especially a medic of the mind, as "psychologic problems". They speak too about manipulations, phone calls, and lavish meals.
They discover in that terrible moment who Hannibal Lecter is. How (potential) victims are in his game. And for the first moment in her life, she creates for herself the first honest human connection in the middle of shared betrayed feelings. For the first time she is not alone, she haves somebody to share a little of pain with.
---
When they reach for Wolf Trap they are starting to plan how to ensure their survival. Will knows, because of course, he knows, how difficult would be to point Hannibal Lecter as the Chesapeake Ripper without solid proof. No blood, no prints, no evidence, anything. But there is something more besides the hurt of Hannibal's betrayal and the lack of credibility in their word in the eyes of the others (Jack, Alana) that is a betrayal too. Is like they are on an island, alone and in the middle of the capricious weather and the hostile environment. But still, there are together and there is that bright in Will's eyes too, something in the convoluted stories of their lives, small, tender and fragile, something akin to love. Abigail remembers her mother, the purest love, the purest empathy:
"Sometimes," Louise, her mother, not the artist, usually said, "We forget how love is a poisoned knife and the perfect cage."
She tells Will this too.
She is going to call Hannibal and explain (more like half explain). Will is going to call Jack and do his part of the plan. Both of them compromise to act together, as a team, and to not lie to each other. It's what family does. All are credible because the fear is the monster under the bed, at the table too.
---
Will and Hannibal (but especially the former) believe that she hates Will because he killed her biological father. At first, she did think the same, but then she entertains the possibilities: what if Will didn't discover her father?
That idea makes her restless because she simply knows, deeply, oh so deeply inside her, that at a certain point she could do it without remorse: the destruction of the father.
Maybe Will just made her a favor.
She doesn't hate him.
---
It's an E.G.G. and a lumbar puncture after when they found the problem. Three weeks pass in the middle of hospitals, tests, and medicines, and Abigail is suffering alone in Port Haven and she only leaves to see Will's evolution every Saturday, when Dr. Lecter took her to watch over his father, even if it's for only a couple of hours. Dr. Bloom has her grounded because of her expedition to Minnesota with Will, like a misbehaved child. The last time she visited was a week ago, Will still very tired because of the encephalitis and the treatment. The Aciclovir is taking his toll on his already delicate state and she is terrified to be alone again. She counts every hour in the hospital afraid of Will in need, vulnerable to Hannibal, Jack and Alana.
There is something good: Jack Crawford is starting to recede in his accusations. Because a ruthless killer doesn't look like Abigail: a confused teenage girl worried sick for the health of his father, who took his hand so sweetly and help him to eat that expensive chicken soup that Hannibal brings to make Will recover faster. The sad thing is that the tears and the worry are not a lie. Of course, only the truth could convince them of her innocence but is not the truth and innocence they think.
---
Abigail sees Will again when he is a lot better. This time in Wolf Trap with the dogs milling around. Hannibal serves tasty although less elaborate homey food. "Rustic jambalaya" he says, whatever that means and all of them ate between funny comments and honest and discrete laughs.
It's like his old family interactions. Even with the secrets and the blood and all.
---
Months pass around. Abigail can say that she is happy.
Will recovers totally and the Chesapeak Ripper doesn't strike again ("yet", tells herself wisely).
Her parents treat to disguise a lot of flirting between them (it never works).
She lives between Baltimore and Wolftap after Dr. Bloom gave her the medical discharge from Port Haven. The paperwork is not so easy to manage but Hannibal's lawyer is good in his work.
The thing was due to happen, eventually. Jack Crawford again with pointed fingers. For the first time, Will slashes out against his boss in an epic battle of wills. Jack accuses Will of being blind and personally compromised with the case. Will points at the null evidence against his says.
The accusations recede for a while.
---
The implosion started when Dr. Alana Bloom gave her the medical discharge from Port Haven.
Her tutors/fathers speak about midterms, commutes, school plans.
The story of the families, even if they're not blood-related, repeats itself once and again. But what use has History if you not took that education and correct the facts and prevent the tragedies.
They said that one of the most visceral fears in children is being abandoned by their parents. Abigail is 17, and she fears. She can feel a slight ache in the stomach, the pressure in her lungs, something like asphyxia, like the need to cry. She feels humiliation and righteous indignation for Will's sake when she sees Alana Bloom flirting with Hannibal shamelessly. And how fucked up is that? The professional Alana Bloom flirting with the father of one of her patients (OK, maybe that is a bit wide as an interpretation, but there are legal forms and firms you see?)
Where are her so grandiose ethics?
"Dr. Bloom is trying to seduce Hannibal." The comment, hoping it was in a careless tone, didn't work. It sounds a lot like resentment. Poison in the mouth of a child.
"I know." And this time the pain was expected, what it wasn't was the shame. Abigail did never understand why the cheated part in a relationship felt humiliated when it must be the contrary (theoretically).
"Are you going to do something?" she asked waiting for direction, orders, something to do, to prevent the ruin in this make-shift family.
"Not especially."
And the negation felt a little like a stab. The extended silence that followed the response only aggravated the pain and hate. Fat tears walked slowly down in her cheeks, she is so angry. Then Will holds her tightly like a father who brings support to a wounded daughter. Then Abigail could feel hate against him but all of it becomes nothing when the tears start to fall from him too.
"I'm ready to lose him."
"If you lose him we are as good as dead people walking."
He says nothing, but even Abigail could say that he is preoccupied. He must be.
"Come, I'm going to teach you some mechanic basics for your driver's test."
She doesn't say anything but feels sickness in the face of Will's defeat.
Will teaches her how to check the brakes, how to know if a car was tampering, or how to open the door if she forgot the keys. An interesting day.
---
The truth is that Dr. Bloom makes more than trying to seduce Hannibal Lecter.
It's so shamelessly clear the ways that she wants to be "by Abigail's side", "a good female figure". Abbi almost laughs but instead, she throws up because you see, Alana Bloom is not Mary Poppins. Her discourse about ethics is weak and bullshit.
But is evident, and Hannibal is getting impatient and interested in this new dynamic. Being the object of desire must be a high for his ego, the bastard.
She slashes when Alana tries to fix her scarf in the middle of an impromptu "family dinner" with her and Hannibal. She pushes her hand and the thing must be rude because Hannibal jaw clenches and Dr. Bloom gets a complicated look.
"Teenager girls things" Alana tries to let scape some pressure. It doesn't work.
---
It's Will's idea. To send Abigail on a trip to discover what to do next with her life. The truth, as always, is more complex (or simple, depending on the point of view): Will doesn't want her to see him in despair. Will doesn't want her dead either. Hannibal's consent is gracious and congenial.
---
London's bad weather chills her bones. Louise Bourgeois too.
---
When Abbigail is back she only notices how Baltimore reeks. The city and Alana Bloom have the smell of decay, like something dirty and rotten, like old sex and their fluids. Alana triggers in her the guttural feel of disgust, the necessity of scratch something with sharp nails.
She is all pictures in socialite diaries hanging on Dr. Lecter's harm, big smiles, and open expressions. She is happy, Will is not. What a predicament.
--
Will once told her the story of his first encounter with Hannibal. All the bones and skull arenas and the mall of America and wind chafed skinned girls speak. It was hilarious and in equal proportion creepy if you took the distance of time and got some data in the way.
Will is right most of the time too (that is not arguable) even when his co-workers don't take him seriously. Since Abigail is not a stupid kid she learns to read Will's interlines. When Will teaches her how to cast a line she learns more than patience.
When Jacob Hobbs teaches her to hunt she learned more than how to chase prey.
Will shows her how to prepare gumbo ("properly Louisiana style", says Will), travels with him and the dogs into the wild on weekends, teaches her more about motors and fishing and they experiment with cajun cuisine.
And of course, she knows. Hannibal is not alone in Baltimore in those weekends, Dr. Bloom is with him.
"It could be interesting to use another kind of meat for the gumbo" she proposes one day, Will only smiles.
"Maybe, now, careful to clean the crawfish, you will need a paring knife for this."
What Abigail loves most about Cajun cuisine is its adaptive characteristic. You can use local ingredients and make a simple but tasty dish. She didn't set up anything grandiose (liar!), after all, she is a good existentialist. Contrary to Hannibal who likes to speak about gods and cruelty, Abigail simply believes that shit happens. Ces't la vie and simple but homely food.
She is on a hunt, her appetite for recipe experiments is bigger and Abby's usual prey is all that mall of America look, all that wind chafed skin, blue eyes, and dark hair.
---
The next Saturday Abigail did not get to Wolftrap, Will doesn't ask why in the Sunday and he serves a bit of whisky for both.
It's her first toast with alcohol.
---
Lizzie Borden with an axe
Gave her father forty whacks
When she saw what she had done
She gave her mother forty one
---
Wednesday by early morning. Hannibal knocks the door of her room. Baltimore. His expression is solemn (and that is bullshit) and his eyes are dark and bright (that is not).
"Jack Crawford called," he says "Alana Bloom is dead."
It was her destiny. Like this or through a window in another universe, it has her destiny. So sad (really?).
---
The thing is: the report on the disappearance of Dr. Bloom was filled on Monday by her neighbor when didn't show to take Applesauce home.
The body was discovered in a mess over a table in her house and of course, her boyfriend is a person of interest for the local police and because he didn't make the report (Abigail laughs a lot) but then Dr. Lecter has the powerful alibi of his full agenda until Friday by night. It's presumed that esteemed Dr. Bloom was taken after their classes at midday and killed the same day hours after. With no clear profile, they call the FBI.
Not Will either Hannibal visits the crime scene because the fun never ceases: Will could be a person of interest too if not because he was in the Quantico labs with trustworthy agent Katz as a company until midnight. Jack Crawford is raging, confused, and sad. Well, welcome to the club.
The criminal profile is wrong (evidently). A white male in their mid-forties, maybe ex-patient or ex-lover, ambushes Alana Bloom for the sake of jealousy or envy of her relationship with the esteemed Dr. Lecter.
Will is not happy but says nothing and gives to Abbi a kiss in the head, because he knows, of course he does and he is content with his daughter.
Do you know what the problem with modern art is? That if you're not sensitive enough you could miss a lot of details, that's for sure. For example: Louise Bourgeois is not messy, it's complicated. If some pieces don't appear is not accidental, they fix a bigger artistic hole, in the culinary way we can say.
---
They dine the next Wednesday in Will's house. The dogs milling around. Abbi is happy because she got Appleusauce as hers, such a good girl. They ate slowly her new recipe of jambalaya while they see in the eyes of each other. With Andouille sausage made of especially tender venison from the "local butcher", celery, peppers and onions, and rice present Abigail. Hannibal has a pointed expression but eats the dish with gusto.
"Exquisite." He says and intertwines his fingers with Will's.
The world is fixed.