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Relationships aren’t easy. Misunderstandings happen and sometimes people drift apart. And that’s okay. But if you see them everywhere, all the time, it can get hard. And Taehyung misses Jungkook so much. His Jungkook. What they had years ago. It’s not that he doesn’t like what they have now, because they’re still close, but it’s not the same. Sometime along the way, Taehyung stopped going over his room at night to have someone to cuddle, Jungkook stopped hugging his back and leaning against him like he used to. They stopped hanging out and they just… naturally drifted apart.
It’s been years now and Taehyung is not sure what makes him do this now, because after all, they’re now used to the new ‘them’, even if that doesn't mean he likes it. But they’re in the middle of nowhere, and he knows that cameras are on them, but he’s slightly drunk and he remembers how a few months ago, he was locked in the studio trying to get an idea out for his mixtape and he got a call from Jungkook at around 2AM.
“Hm?” Taehyung picked up and it took Jungkook a few seconds to reply, so he feared maybe the boy missed-dialed or something.
“Hyung” he said eventually. “Are you still at work?” And Taehyung hadn’t noticed it was that late, but he knew that if he left now, he wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway because he’d be scared that the ideas would somehow disappear.
“Yeah, I’m trying to finish something. Why? What’s wrong?” He asked, because Jungkook doesn’t call him often. Sure, they live together, work together, are together all the time. That’s maybe why he doesn’t.
“No, nothing’s wrong, I just… I came into your room and you weren’t here” the younger said, his words a bit slurred with either sleep, alcohol or both.
“Yeah, I didn’t realize it was this late” Taehyung bit his lip trying to figure out what to say next. He hates that it’s awkward sometimes, because he struggles with words and doesn’t know how to talk to the youngest and.. because of something else that it’s too buried in his soul to dig out.
“Are you drunk, Jungkookie?” He said after a few seconds of silence where he wasn’t quite sure if Jungkook was still there or not.
“I drank a bit” he giggled. “We should grab a drink sometime, hyung.” And Taehyung hated to think that ever since Jungkook’d been old enough to drink, they hadn’t done it together. Of course they’ve done it with the rest of the members, but not alone. Part of Taehyung knew that was because he just recently got acquainted with wine and other drinks that are not disgusting to him, but deep down he knew there were other reasons. A big elephant in the room that’s been there for a while.
“Yeah, i’d like that” and the conversation ended there.
And he’s not quite sure why he remembered it now, while staring at his bowl filled with melon and jamón, but he did.
“Jimin-ah” he called, his friend a few steps away. “Could you do me a favor?”
“Depends. Do I have to move much?” He asks and Taehyung giggles at that.
“Not much” he responds, knowing where Jungkook is. “Could you somehow get Jungkook to come here? I wanna talk to him” and Jimin, who was playing with a tennis ball, drops it when he turns around to look at him. “Don’t give me that look, I just… I wanna talk to him”
“Then why don’t you go get him?” He asks, crossing his arms and Taehyung sighs. He knows. Of course he knows. He’s the only person Taehyung could tell. Although, to be fair, he didn’t have to.
“Jimin, please… I don’t think he’ll come if I get him or if you tell him it’s me who wants him. Just… I don’t know, make something up” and Jimin sighs and nods, throwing him the ball and going towards the main house where Jungkook went like half an hour ago after they finished having dinner.
And he’s nervous. He can’t sit still. He plays with the ball and fiddles with his fingers, not knowing what will happen. Because it’s been years. They used to be so tight and it just stopped, and Taehyung is scared because he knows he won’t get that back, but he might as well try.
He can hear their voices approaching and he sits up straight, putting up a show.
“Jungkook-ssi” he says getting up to shake his hand when he gets there and he looks so confused. It breaks Taehyung’s heart a bit because it’s clear he’d want to be anywhere else but here. But here they are.
“I should’ve known it made no sense that the water would be leaking in, it didn’t even rain that much” he says, laughing along, uncomfortable.
And Taehyung’s mind is a blur then. He half-remembers telling Jimin to go and staring at Jungkook in silence for a while until the younger speaks.
“What’s the occasion?” He says, picking up a piece of the snack Taehyung made earlier, and he himself mirrors the action just to have something to do with his hands.
“I… You said you wanted to have a drink, and since we’ve been busy, we didn’t have the chance, and so… I thought maybe we could do it now. Remember?” He asks, looking up to find Jungkook looking at him.
And it feels both awkward and familiar at the same time. Like time hasn’t passed at all.
But it has.
“Yeah, I called you one night after drinking alone. Thought maybe next time I could use some company” he giggles a bit opening a bottle of soju that Taehyung left for him.
“Well, hope you don’t mind me doing it so out of the blue like this” Taehyung laughs a bit embarrassed because yeah, maybe the setting isn’t ideal, but it’s too late to back up now.
“I don’t mind” he gives him one of his honest smiles and Taehyung’s nerves crumble a little from how fast his heart is beating.
And it starts off with a bit of small talk, but eventually they get deep. Jungkook asks him how he’s doing lately and offers him some really good advice that actually makes Taehyung see how much he’s grown. He’s not that little kid anymore. They used to get in so much trouble together back when they were trainees, and they start reminiscing those days as well.
“I miss you, you know” says Taehyung out of the blue, too fast to take it back.
“But I’m right here, hyung” and his voice sounds a bit broken. “I’ve always been right here”
And it hurts him, because he knows. But things got hard and Taehyung closed off from everyone. It took him a bit to let the rest in, and for some reason it’s taken Jungkook the longest. The reason being because he has some secrets really close to his heart that he’s scared to share.
“I know, and I’m sorry that… I’m not the same anymore” and Taehyung bites his lip because what he doesn’t want to do right now is cry.
“You don’t have to be sorry, I like the Taehyung you are now and I liked the Taehyung you were then. You’re not the same but that’s not a bad thing. You’re you, I just… I guess it was easier to approach you back then and I was always scared to push the wrong buttons, but I’ve always been here” and there it is again. His sweet smile. The smile Taehyung would go to the end of the Earth and back to see.
“When did you get so wise? You spend too much time with Namjoon hyung and Yoongi hyung” Taehyung tries to laugh it off, but just because he doesn’t want to show how much that affected him.
“Yeah, maybe” he says. “I missed you too, though. And I know it’s been hard for you and I wish I wouldn’t done better at being there, but... you know me” he says, playing with the hand protectors for his boxing gloves, and something pulls Taehyung to reach over and hold his hands.
“You were. I don’t really know what happened to us, life happened, probably. We grew up and… it wasn’t the same, but you’ll always be special to me. You were the first person who didn’t think I was weird back then, and you were there for me through my worst nights as trainees and after debut. I just… I didn’t want to make you feel bad because I’m as guilty as you are for us drifting apart a bit, I guess I just… I’d like to have that again. Or a new version of it.”
“I’d like that, yeah” Jungkook says, holding his hands back and gives him a smile. “I’d really, really like that, hyung” and Taehyung can’t help but smile because, sure, that doesn’t guarantee that they’ll be back to normal, but it’s a start. And maybe reaching out wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
And maybe Taehyung still has some things he’d like to tell Jungkook, but those can wait until there aren’t cameras around them.
“Shall we go back inside? Is getting cold and the fire is dying down” Taehyung says then, letting go of his hands to finish his wine. Jungkook laughs when he spills half of his last chug on his shirt.
“Wanna come to my room? I wanna show you how my guitar practice is going. And I have a heat blanket, too” He says with a smile and he's so excited that Taehyung can’t bring himself to say no. Not that he wants to.
“Yeah, sure” and they head down the hill towards the boat house where Jungkook is staying.
Taehyung gets in his bed and the younger turns on the heated blanket for him before he gets his guitar out of the case.
“It’s not much, but Hobi hyung wants me to play on the last night, so I gotta practice” he giggles, nervous. Taehyung knows all his tells by now, and it’s cute.
“You can’t even disconnect when you’re here, huh? Always a hard worker” he says, covering himself with the blanket.
“You know me” he says again, and it makes something swell up inside Taehyung's chest because yeah, he does.
Jungkook starts playing a familiar melody, and when he starts singing along, Taehyung is pretty sure he’s in heaven.
By the time he’s done, he’s been lulled to sleep so much it’s pretty much impossible for him to open his eyes.
“That was very good” he manages to say almost in a whisper. “You’re very good, Kookie” and he hears how Jungkook leaves the guitar on the floor and opens the mosquito net.
“Thank you” he whispers, but Taehyung doesn’t feel any movement after that. “I… You can sleep here, I’ll go to the other r—“
“Can I sleep here with you? Like old times?” The alcohol in his veins is brave enough to ask, and he thinks he hears Jungkook gasp, so maybe he shouldn’t have.
“Yeah, yeah, of course you can” and he moves then, jumping over Taehyung and closing the net before laying down. And Taehyung, as if he’d been doing this for all his life feels a pull towards him and turns around to hug him.
“What if the house sinks, Jungkook-ah?” He asks, making the younger laugh, moving his arm to hug him back.
“I got you, hyung” he whispers and if Taehyung is sure of one thing, it’s that.