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It had been nearly 14 years since the appearance of a world-renowned art thief by the name of Hei Pao Shi. As the newest head of the White Collar Crimes division, Zhao Yunlan had inherited the case from his predecessor who had hardly made any progress in catching the so-called ‘phantom’ thief.
Despite the fact the case was active at least once a year (and, memorably, 24 times in one year), the actual case file was painfully thin. There were some cases crossing Zhao Yunlan's desk that were nine times as thick and only a couple days old. Sure, those tended to be fraud cases with several years worth of a paper trail, but still. A thief like Hei Pao Shi should've been leaving some trace; there should be something to go off of. Especially because he’d been at it so long - someone human would’ve been bound to slip up, right?
But all the department had was the occasional black smear on security camera footage that might be Hei Pao Shi, and dozens of missing artifacts. All they’d caught were those who’d tried to imitate him. Nobody ever was as meticulous as Hei Pao Shi, and of course he tended to pick high-profile targets other people wanted as well.
Hei Pao Shi was only interested in one artist - General Kunlun. He had been a warrior, poet, painter, and sculptor all in one, and his artifacts were considered to be of great cultural importance to Haixing as a whole. No one knew exactly how Hei Pao Shi chose what he stole beyond the fact it had to be a General Kunlun artifact.
There was often no rhyme or reason to his thefts from the outside. If a collection contained more than one General Kunlun artifact, he might only steal one at a time, or every single piece in the collection could up and disappear just like that. And sometimes when Hei Pao Shi was feeling particularly cheeky, he'd leave behind a respectable fake of whatever item he’d just stolen. Hell, the only reason they knew Hei Pao Shi was a he was because the thief had told them - via a politely worded letter to several newspapers, after he’d just made away with Memories of a Peach Blossom from the National Art Museum.
It was enough to drive anyone insane. Or to smoking, though Yunlan was trying to quit that these days and had instead transitioned near completely to lollipops. His lungs thanked him when he found out a whole five days later that there had been another theft at the local university.
Apparently, they'd been completely unaware that their collection of artifacts from the Warring States Era had contained a piece done by General Kunlun. It probably would've remained completely unknown if one of their resident Professors hadn't had a particularly keen eye and noted the seal of General Kunlun, though he hadn't known what it was and passed it through the ranks until another Professor had pointed out it bore a resemblance to General Kunlun's own crest.
Then Hei Pao Shi had taken it without the school noticing until today, when the original Professor had gone back for a second look and found that the jade carving had changed. Thankfully, there were enough pictures of the original jade carving for the University's in-house staff to verify it wasn't the original item. Though it did appear to be a genuine Warring States Era jade carving, anyway.
When Zhao Yunlan finally caught Hei Pao Shi, he was going to shoot him in the foot for all this nonsense.
But he hadn't caught Hei Pao Shi yet, which meant that instead of a deeply satisfying capture, he was now interviewing Professors of archaeology, a couple Professors of literature, and one Professor of the arts. The archaeology Professors were just as old as the items they were supposedly digging up on the regular and Zhao Yunlan felt his voice going hoarse after all five of them kept asking him to speak up.
Why hadn’t he made Da Qing do this? Oh, yeah, because the lazy bastard was at the station doing paperwork from the Zhan Corporation's latest financial inquiry. He really didn't want to do that either.
With a polite smile, Zhao Yunlan helped the last Professor of archaeology out of the chair he'd given his statement in, pressed his cane into his hand, and waved him off.
Zhu Hong at least waited until the man left the room before she started to laugh. Zhao Yunlan glared, but it just made her snicker louder.
"I should give you the next one and cut your bonus," Zhao Yunlan grumbled as he unwrapped another lollipop and tucked it into the side of his cheek. He dropped the wrapper into the wastebasket beside him and kept stalwartly ignoring the fact there was already quite an impressive pile. He needed the sugar to survive this. He was only halfway through the interviews.
Zhu Hong smiled, flashing her teeth. "Oh, but I'm not qualified to do interviews in the field." And then she proceeded to check her nails. The only reason she wasn't qualified was because she had, so far, refused to go to the range to get her gun permit. And she knew it. One of these days though, Zhao Yunlan would get her there. Even if his last five attempts had failed.
"Whatever, just send in the next one." Yunlan sighed, slouching down in his seat and letting his legs fall open. The next Professor could yell at him for all he cared, it'd be a welcome change from the others demanding he speak up again.
When Zhu Hong came back with their sixth interviewee, Zhao Yunlan sat up of his own accord. There was no way Zhu Hong had grabbed the right guy. He looked like a model in his pinstripe blue suit and circular framed glasses. His briefcase was in one hand as he walked in, but then he shifted it to hold it in front of him as he gave a polite bow. It seemed like he was startled a bit at the sight of Zhao Yunlan but quickly managed to adopt a mask of impassivity. Though the original look lasted only a split second, Zhao Yunlan couldn’t help but wonder if, despite Professor Shen Wei’s sharp looks, he was a stickler for ‘tradition’ and ‘respectability.’
"Chief Zhao, I'm Professor Shen Wei. I have been told this will be quick," the Professor introduced himself. The sole Professor of the arts, Zhao Yunlan recognized the name.
"Yes," Zhao Yunlan confirmed, "please sit."
Shen Wei took two quick steps forward, and Zhao Yunlan couldn't help but peek. That ass was as fine as the rest of the Professor. Surely this was illegal? Or was he a nude model for a human figure drawing class? Professors didn't look like that!
Despite his inner turmoil, Zhao Yunlan played it cool. "Professor Shen, we've just got a couple standard questions we're asking all Professors who interacted with the stolen Kunlun jade after it was identified as a piece carved by Kunlun."
Shen Wei blinked at that, but didn't look surprised. "Please, ask away. I will endeavor to be as helpful as possible."
"When was the last time you saw the jade?" Zhao Yunlan asked, not even bothering to look at the questions Zhu Hong had written out on a sticky note that he'd tucked into a manila envelope to make it look more official. They were recording this interviewing session anyway, no one needed to know there were no official papers in the folder he had in front of him.
Shen Wei seemed to think about it for a second. "This morning."
"Before it was stolen, please," Zhao Yunlan clarified.
Shen Wei's brow furrowed. "I'm sorry, I hadn't even heard it was stolen until a few moments ago. Was it stolen this morning?"
"No, it was stolen five days ago."
"Five days?" Shen Wei repeated, looking thoughtful. "Then I assume it would have been that night. Professor Zhang and I were both studying it until I had to go home. The detail work is quite intricate and I was hoping to determine what kind of tools were used to carve it. One of my workshops is working with jade right now and I was hoping to have them try imitating the carving."
"Have the tools for carving jade changed that much since then?" Zhao Yunlan asked, honestly curious.
Shen Wei gave a huff of laughter, ducking his head. "It's what they are made of that matters. General Kunlun probably used bone, bamboo, or stone. Each one is adequate for carving jade, but will leave different types of scours on a microscopic level. These days, most carvers embrace modernity with diamond bits on a Dremel to carve jade, but the older methods do have their charms. I intend to cover five different methods for carving jade - why not have them mimic an intricate piece such as this one? It has a variety of cuts as well, allowing the students to understand why certain tools are preferred for different jobs."
"Do you do a lot of jade cutting, Professor Shen?"
"Ah, not really.” Shen Wei met Zhao Yunlan’s eyes calmly. “Calligraphy is my passion. However, I do occasionally cover for Professors on leave and I'm quite proficient in many hands-on arts as well. This semester I'm covering jade carving, last semester our embroidery teacher was out."
Zhao Yunlan popped his lollipop out of his mouth as he lounged back on his seat. Shen Wei's eyes flickered up and caught on the lollipop. "A man of many talents you are, Professor Shen. Dragon City is lucky to have you." He was so far off script at this point. But he’d already gotten the important information, so Zhao Yunlan could afford to keep the conversation going. Besides, his gut said to keep digging. Gut feelings weren't admissible in court, but the evidence they turned up was.
Shen Wei smiled. It was a quick little thing - the corner of his mouth quirked up for a small second. "Thank you, Chief Zhao. Is there anything else?"
"Was there anyone with you when you went home that night?"
"No, I live alone." Shen Wei replied evenly. "Why?"
Zhao Yunlan didn't answer and he was inwardly glad Da Qing wasn't here. He'd have read into the question way too much. "Well, you had a key to get into the storage case where the jade was held, didn't you?"
"No. Professor Zhang did, he was locking up."
Not the least bit rattled. When did Professors come with three piece suits and nerves of steel? "May I feel your hands?"
The request clearly bemused Professor Shen, but he gamely offered both his hands to Zhao Yunlan. He took a second to admire them - the nails were neatly kept, no signs of nervous picking or nail biting. When Zhao Yunlan ran his own fingers from the base of Shen Wei's palm up to the tip of his middle finger on his left hand, not so much as a muscle twitched. There were rough calluses on the palm and fingertips, proving that Shen Wei was at least putting his hands to work right now. They were slightly cold, even in the heat, and Shen Wei was wearing a full suit to boot.
Reluctantly, Zhao Yunlan drew his hand away and Shen Wei tucked his hands back under the table. "If there's nothing else, I have a class starting in thirty minutes and I need to prepare."
"The two jade carvings are quite different, Professor Shen, how did you not realize they weren't the same if you'd been studying one so intently?”
Doe-brown eyes blinked out at him from behind glasses. "Sometimes if you look too closely, you miss the bigger details. The new figurine is from the same era and the same kind of carving tools were used on it. And I only saw it again this morning, so I didn't notice anything different."
And bad memory wasn't admissible in court. Unfortunately. But Zhao Yunlan had his suspicions. "That's unfortunate."
The lollipop went back in his mouth, with Shen Wei's eyes following it again. It was a shame Zhao Yunlan's gut was telling him the man was hiding something, otherwise this interview would be ending a lot differently.
"If you can remember anything that might be of help, please let me know." Zhao Yunlan pulled out his business card and offered it to Shen Wei. The Professor took it, looking it over carefully, before tucking it behind the pocket square in his breast pocket. "You can text the number too. Government-issued cell phone."
"Text?" Shen Wei asked, then politely shook his head. "I only have a landline."
Zhao Yunlan hadn’t realized that all the Professors were going to be this out of touch with the latest technology. Should he be preparing for microfiche pictures? "Isn't that inconvenient in your line of work?"
"While my pupils often complain, I believe there is something to be said about making myself available in person. It feels more real. What life does a phone have? But even so, I have a faculty email that a grad student maintains for me as well as office hours every day. This is the first time I have missed even part of them all year." There were the teeth. Even if he sounded unimaginably polite as he said it.
"I won't keep you any longer then, Professor Shen." Zhao Yunlan smiled around the lollipop stick and Shen Wei smiled back at him. Doubly unfair that he looked even cuter in that moment.
“Thank you, Chief Zhao. I hope I remember something more useful for you later.”
Zhao Yunlan waved him off as he stood. “Don’t worry if I don’t answer, just leave a message.”
Shen Wei gave another little bow and was off. Zhao Yunlan let himself look at that ass just a bit longer - there were four more interviews to go and he needed something stronger than lollipops to tide him over. Zhu Hong hit him over the head with one of the police pocket guides she carried around, but he was smiling even as he rubbed the back of his head.
In the end, Professor Zhang had the key and an alibi for the whole night. And was also old enough that to pull off half the acrobatics Hei Pao Shi did, he would’ve needed at least one performance-enhancing drug. So all Zhao Yunlan got out of the day was a headache, some eye candy, and a deep suspicion about Shen Wei.
Later that same day:
Zhao Yunlan blinked up at the door across the hall. Shen Wei was standing in front of it, sliding his key into the lock and turning it as though he lived there. Apparently feeling Zhao Yunlan's disbelieving stare, or perhaps having heard Zhao Yunlan's door open, he turned towards him.
"Officer Zhao?" he asked, dragging Zhao Yunlan's attention from his fingers back to his face and acting like he’d known they lived across from each other this whole time. "Would you like to come in for tea?"
It was a coincidence, right? It had to be a coincidence? "Ah, no thank you," Zhao Yunlan said, pointing a thumb over his shoulder. "It appears we're neighbors, Professor Shen. So I'll get out of your hair immediately."
For a second, Zhao Yunlan could've sworn Shen Wei's face looked smug. But that didn't make sense? Unless he was smug about the interview at the university? But why wait until now to be smug? At this rate, Shen Wei was going to get a permanent place in the forefront of Zhao Yunlan's mind.
"Some other day, then," Shen Wei promised, and oh, Zhao Yunlan knew that tone of voice, "We are neighbors after all." And with a smile, he disappeared inside his apartment.
He was fucked, wasn’t he? And not in the nice way. In the 'a super hot international thief lives across the hall from me and wants to get in my pants' sort of way.
It wasn’t worth it, he told himself even as he imagined Shen Wei's smile as he unlocked his own door. It was so not worth it, he repeated to himself as he plopped down onto a cold and lonely bed.