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Chapter Text

There was much to be said about the severity of a situation when Plagg, the Kwami of Destruction and Chaos, was worried. Plagg could help but notice the shallowness in his charge's cheeks and the dark bruises under his eyes, or how dry and dim his eyes had become from blinking away tears before they could ever fall. 

Adrien Agreste was fading away. The sunshine that had lived within his heart and warmed those around him was growing cold. His little star had overheated and caved in on itself, just a push away from forming a black hole. 

Plagg did not know what to do. He was the Kwami of Destruction, he was meant to watch things fall apart but not his holders. The point of giving Plagg to someone as pure-hearted as Adrien was for his light to be able to shine Plagg's Darkness. He was meant to be able to wield the Destruction from becoming a weapon and turning it into a tool. 

But Destruction, it had seemed, had turned its back on the young man. 

Plagg had lived many aeons. He had seen everything there had to be seen in the ways of pain and hurt. He was blamed for most of it, sometimes unjustly and other times fairly but it was just the way the wheel of life was meant to turn. Some time's, bad things happen to good people. 

And this was one of those Times. 

"Plagg," his voice cracked through the darkness. Plagg allowed himself to press light pressure on the boy's chest from where he was resting atop his heart. His broken, beaten heart. "Will it ever stop hurting?" 

Plagg had lived a very long time. He knew a thing or two about pain. The betrayal of your father being your worst enemy cut deep. 

"Yes," he replied. 

The wounds would heal. But the scars would always remain.

Chapter Text

Adrien got dressed for school slowly and morosely. Plagg watched from the corner as he pulled a dark hoodie over his head and paired it with an old pair of jeans and the orange converse he hadn’t worn since he turned sixteen.

Plagg swallowed a piece of camembert in his hand and floated up to his chosen, “Come on, Adrien. I know what you found out sucks, but on the bright side, you’re going to school today. You’ll be able to see your DJ friend and the Ladyblogger and they always make you laugh when they bicker.” Adrien remained silent. “You’ll get to see Pigtails.” Plagg almost missed the slight pause of reaction as Adrien combed his hair. 

“Plagg,” his voice cracked. “I’m only going to school to get out of this house. But I,” he paused, trying to force air into his lungs, “I cannot pretend that nothing is wrong. I cannot look at them and pretend my father is not the man who has been making their lives hell since they were fourteen and they met me.” His voice steeled with self-loathing, the kind that scared Plagg.

“Kid,” Plagg began.

A knock on the door interrupted Plagg’s words and alerted Adrien that it was time for him to get in the car to get to school. Adrien opened the door and saw Nathalie standing there. Her eyes were empty, her facial expression was blank and her usual tablet was hugged to her chest closing herself off from any open emotion. Adrien had never seen Nathalie relaxed. Adrien used to think it was just the way she was and that at some times when her eyes softened slightly, that it was her caring about him. Looking back on everything, Adrien realised she never cared. She just felt sorry for him. She probably figured if his mom was in some kind of coma and his dad was a supervillain and she was going to be his sidekick, the poor kid should have a few friends.

He decided he didn’t need her pity.

What would have once been a soft good morning and smile to his father’s apathetic assistant became a slight shoulder shove as he pushed past her. He didn’t bother to wait for her so they could walk down the stairs together. He walked straight past the dining room where he was meant to have breakfast, completely ignoring what would have been a plain breakfast of a sunny side egg on a slice of whole-grain, low GI, wheat toast. He had no energy to force himself to swallow down the dry meals his father hired a dietician to shove down his throat.

“Adrien, you need to have breakfast.”

“Shut up, Nathalie.”

Nathalie didn’t pause. “You’ll need the energy since after school you’ll have a three-hour photoshoot if all goes well then fencing practice one-on-one with your coach to make up for what you missed. Then you need to freshen up for Mandarin--”

“Nathalie, shut up. Even if I cared about what you have to say you’d have to be an idiot to believe that the stupid breakfast you’re badgering on about will actually make a difference on how much energy I have today. So just, shut up.”

With that, he walked away before she could muster up a reply.

He walked out of the doors and past his bodyguard’s car. His bodyguard tried to go after him but Adrien just shrugged off his large hand. His bodyguard grunted, trying to get the young man’s attention.

“I’ll walk to school,” Adrien mumbled loud enough to be heard. The Gorilla grabbed his shoulder, dragging him back. Adrien turned around, his eyes blazing the fire of someone who held the Black Cat Miraculous. “Leave me alone. Don’t touch me, don’t follow me. I will walk to school.”

It was freeing to be able to march to the beat of his own drum. He was getting sick of his father’s overbearing ways. He had been sick of his father’s overbearing ways for the past four years. It just took finding out he was his mortal enemy for him to actually do something about it. How pathetic.

Adrien noticed he had made it all the way to the park in his angered power walk. He took a seat on one of the park benches to give himself a chance to calm down. He tried to let good thoughts float through his mind but every wonderful thought he had was completely squashed by the thought of his father bulldozing in and stepping on Marinette’s macaroons that she brought just for him, or pulling the plug on a beat he and Nino were listening to, or censoring Alya as they read through the Ladyblog, or sending one of his Akuma to blast the smile off Ladybug’s face. 

In some way or another, his father was able to ruin what made him happy.

“Plagg, I hate my life.”

“Kit, it will get better. Just keep holding on.”

Adrien rested his head against the back of the bench, closing his eyes from the rest of the world while Plagg looked towards the bakery across the street hoping for a saving grace.

///

"Marinette, you're going to be late for your last first day of school," her mother's voice floated up to her room. The sing-song tones her mom used caused Marinette to groan. Every first-day school ended up the same, with Marinette late school and Sabine laughing as her daughter psyched herself up for what she had dubbed the annual Agreste Glow-Up. 

Every single year without fail, Adrien would show up to school looking that much hotter than he did the last year. The summer of their fifteenth year, Adrien had a voice that serenaded Marinette with its deep timber. When they moved onto sixteen, Adrien had grown. Broad shoulders that towered over her and hair that flopped over his eyes when he had to look down to smile at her, had her swooning nearly four times a day. By seventeen, Marinette had walked into school prepared for whatever change he'd bring with him. She'd walked to school with a slightly larger bra size and her hair down in order to even the scores ever so slightly but Marinette was robbed. Adrien flipped the switch by growing internally and externally by gaining the confidence to use his newly acquired cheekbones and smirk at her. 

Not fair. 

And still, despite the years that flew by and all the work Adrien tried to put into their friendship, she had to take a step back from him. If she ever got too close to Adrien, Marinette knew she'd break her own heart. After she found out about Adrien being in love with someone else and his brief relationship with Kagami four years ago, it hurt too much to keep trying to stay close to him. So Marinette and Adrien will always have to remain friends by circumstance. 

Marinette flattened her hands against her skirt, and shook out her fingers, letting the bangles around her wrist jingle slightly. The charm bracelet she wrapped around her ankle remained silent and inconspicuous, the only indicator of her feelings. 

She grabbed her bag and made to leave her room before her mother called her again. Tikki flew into the girl's purse and popped her head out to look at her holder. 

"So, how are you going to make the best of your last year of high school, Marinette?" Tikki asked. Tikki hoped that the answer would be along the lines that Marinette would pluck up and tell Adrien she liked him. It was painful seeing her break her own heart by not taking a chance on a boy who seemed to be falling in love with her too.

Marinette opened her trapdoor. 

At the bottom of the stairs stood Marinette’s mother, a strained look on her face.

Marinette looked at her mother inquisitively. “Is something wrong?”

“Sweetie, I need you to take a deep breath and remain calm.” Marinette made her way down the ladder into the family room. She was still slightly taller than her mom even on flat ground but she still let the calming authority of her mother wash over her.

“What is it, mom?” she asked, feeling hesitant to receive the answers.

“Honey, Adrien is across the street looking like he needs a friend. So, please could you give him the pastries your dad made for him.”

Sabine reached for the pastries on the kitchen counter and shoved them into Marinette’s hands. Marinette could barely get a word in edgewise before her mom was pushing her out the door and shoving her school bag onto her shoulders. 

“Wait, but mom--”

“Bye, sweetie,” her mother sang. “Tell him to come over for dinner at some point.” Marinette watched shocked as her mother closed the door with a wink.

Marnette sighed and looked down at the Kwami giggling from her side bag, “It’s official, Tikki. I think it’s time I put my parents up for adoption.”

Marinette walked out of the side door alley and finally was able to see a despondent Adrien Agreste looking like a dark cloud in what was a beautiful spring day. Tikki looked up at her charge with a knowing smile, “Or maybe they know that you’re exactly what that boy needs.”

Marinette looked up at Adrien and bit her lip. She tried to avoid getting too close to Adrien but she still cared about him, way more than what was good for her. She bit her lip and clutched the box of pastries tighter. Walking past green grass in the near-empty park to the boy she had been in love with for four years, Mariette planned what she would say when she got to him.

Before she knew it, she was standing in front of him. “Adrien, are you okay?”

A sardonic chuckle crawled out his mouth. He cracked one eyelid open and a pained smile crawled across his face. “Depends on your definition of okay.”

Marinette did not know how to reply to that. She fidgeted slightly on her feet and placed her bag on the ground. She let herself sit on the bench carefully, avoiding invading his personal space. “I’m here if you feel like talking.”

“I don’t really feel like talking, Marinette,” he growled.

Marinette pressed her lips together and stayed silent. This was a completely different Adrien than she was used to. She had no idea how to proceed from there. Maybe distancing herself from him had been a mistake. “Uhm, then… we’ll just not talk.”

Neither of them said anything after that. The birds chirped and a group of middle-aged women did a pilates class on a patch of space in the middle of the park. “Marinette, have you ever felt like the entire world is against you.”

Marinette laughed, “You’re kidding, right? Anxious Marinette who had Chloe and Lila bully her within an inch of her life not knowing how it feels to have the world against her? Highly unlikely.”

Adrien opened his eyes and finally looked at her, “Does it ever get better?”

Marinette smiled slightly and handed him the box of pastries. “My parents told me to give these to you. And, to answer your question, it does get better if you have the right people there to stand with you. You weren’t there when I was the girl people stayed away from to avoid being targeted by Chloe but Alya came and made it better. And when Lila was treating me like a leper, you were there to make sure everyone knew who to stand behind and you helped me through it. So, no matter what happens you have me to stand right beside you.”

Adrien stared at her. “You always know what to say, don’t you?”

She smiled hopefully. “Only if it helps.” She bit her lip, “ Did it help?”

“Not really,” he said honestly. The smile fell off her face, “But, it did help me feel better.” he took her hand into his and finally sat up straight. “Thank you.”

///

Adrien felt bad for lying to Marinette. It would have helped him feel better if he didn’t feel like she’d leave the moment she found out about his dad. After all, Adrien was raised on conditional love. 

Chapter Text

Adrien liked being at school. It gave him time to think about everything else. Adrien was far ahead with his studies when he joined public school and he found being Chat Noir along with his other commitments were much easier to handle if he didn't have to spend too long studying for their next chemistry test. So he never allowed the course work to catch up with him, remaining at least five steps ahead at all times. 

So while he was at school, he let his mind run wild. He thought about this morning and his insubordination. He has basically told Natalie and his bodyguard to screw off in the same five minutes. He knew his father would never let him get away with it. Gabriel Agreste's mantra had always been 'Children were meant to be seen, not heard.' For Adrien to speak out against those who had a higher standing than him in his father's eyes-- even if it was in his own home-- was basically a direct insult to his father. His father had never tolerated anything would have made Adrien become more than the little puppet he had spent years creating. 

Adrien listened to the lecture half-heartedly wondering what his father would do if he decided to rebel completely. What would his father say if he got a piercing, a tattoo, put on some eyeliner and stopped wearing Gabriel brand. His good boy image would surely be tarnished but Adrien was also sure he'd look incredibly attractive in a 'the-boy-your-parents-warned-about' vibe. It would be something different that was for sure. And while the thought was entertaining, the truth of Adrien's character pushed its way to the forefront of his mind. It wasn't him. Adrien was just too soft. Despite Luka being living proof that you can be a soft person and bad boy/rockstar sexy, he couldn't steal Luka's brand.

Adrien knew where he fell in the social hierarchies in life. To the elite, he was the heir to a multimillion euro fashion design company; to his fans, he was an idol and to some an unofficial husband or senpai; to girls like Chloe and Lila, he was a means to an end and meant to be nothing but the rich arm candy they toted around and eventually used to help create a few bratty offspring to keep up appearances. But to his friends, his real friends, Adrien was someone. He was their sunshine child. He was someone who, based on their words, made the room a little brighter just by walking in and could power all of Paris with his laugh. Adrien liked the fact that his presence and personality lit up his friends' lives. 

If only the same could be said for his family. 

The pencil in his hand snapped. From the corner of his eye he noticed Nino turn to look at him with a concerned look. He offered a placating smile to his best friend and took out another pencil then went on writing his notes as if nothing had happen. 

How would his friends react if they found out he was the son of Hawkmoth? Adrien knew that based on their track record, they'd probably support him and help him in anyway possible but he couldn't burden them like that. His friends had been supposing him emotionally for the longest time, to the point that he felt bad he couldn't do anything for them. He didn't know how to offer love the same way they did. He came from a broken home with a messed up father who gave a messed up love so that obviously meant however Adrien would love would be messed up too. 

They'd be better off without him. 

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. He raised a hand and with a voice thick with heartache, asked for the bathroom.  He dashed out of the room the moment permission was given. 

He thought he would have been ready for the school year. He had believed the distraction of school would make him feel better. It did not. 

The halls and lockers blurred as he stumbled to the furthest bathroom to avoid Nino coming after him. 

He stumbled in and locked the only door behind him. He put his weight on the closed door and began to slide to the ground. Adrien fought through the synthetic, rosy smell of urinal soaps for fresh air. 

"Kid, you need to calm down," Plagg told him. 

Tears streamed down Adrien's face as he responded to his little companion. "I'm. Trying!" he gasped. 

Plagg looked around nervously, hoping he wouldn't see a butterfly molded of shadows approaching his chosen. Plagg knew that Adrien was not in a good emotional state. It seemed that he was going through the different stages of grief and after the denial and indifference he had experienced, the emotions and truth of the matter were hitting him like a train. 

Adrien fought with his lungs, using breathing exercises that had been taught to all the students by their student counsellor. It was mandatory that every student go to a session once a month to evaluate their emotional health and whether or not they're a push away from akumatization. 

He could not get akumatized. He could not let his father win. Adrien pushed past his panic. In and out. Deeply and slowly. 

He forced himself up on his weak knees to the sink. He grabbed it, clenching until his knuckles turned white. He stared himself in the mirror and forced himself to pull it together. He watched his pupils constrict to pinprick, showing him that the worst part of his panic has disappeared. 

And that's when Adrien got angry. His father had to large of an affect on him. On his emotions. It pissed him off. He hated that Hawkmoth had been living under his roof and raising him. Looking in the mirror he noticed his lips had been pulled back into a snarl and Plagg was looking at him with mild concern. 

Adrien took another deep breath before his anger got the best of him. He splashed water on his face allowing the refreshing properties that water has to sink into his pores dilute his toxic thoughts. 

"Hello, Adrien. Your father is Hawkmoth. But that's okay, you wanna know why?" he mumbled to his reflection. "It's okay, because you're Chat Noir. A superhero that has been assigned to protect Paris from him and strip him of his power," Adrien stopped and forced the air back into his lungs. He shouldn't be getting angry again. "You have Ladybug, though. She helps you fight the bad guys, meaning you won't have to fight him alone. You're golden, Sunshine." 

He threw his reflection a smile and watched his walls rebuild into something slightly more solid than the weak picket fence that he had protecting his heart before. 

He went to open the door and noticed Marinette standing there, her hand curled into a fist prepared to knock on the door. She was looking at her shoes, biting her lip in conflict. Adrien stood there for a little and watched her. With his mind a little more in order, he couldn't help but appreciate how pretty she looked. He was glad that he got the chance to watch her grow into the beautiful woman she had become. 

He smirked as the pout on her face grew as she wondered whether she should knock. Only Marinette could manage to be so in her thoughts that she wouldn't even notice that he's in front of her. He chuckled slightly. If anyone could manage to cheer him up, it was Marinette. 

"What brings you here, Little lady?" he asked, mirth coating his words. 

Marinette, startled, slipped out of her trance and looked up at him with wide eyes. The prettiest shade of blue looked up at him with so much concern that Adrien almost broke and confessed his demons right then and there. 

Almost. 

"I… I noticed after our conversation earlier that you still weren't okay so after you excused yourself, I decided to follow you. You know? Um, just in case you needed a hug or something," she mumbled as she fiddled with her fingers. She tilted her head downwards to avoid having to make anymore eye contact with him. 

Adrien's smirk softened into a smile. He reached out and put two fingers under her chin, tilting it upwards so that she'd look at him. He ran his eyes over her face, every freckle, eyelash and the tiny imperfections such as her pimple scars left him mesmerised. 

"I'll be okay, Marinette," he reassured her. He pulled her into his body and wrapped his arms around her. He waited slightly for the stiffness in her body due to shock to subside and soon enough he was receiving one of the best hugs of his life. 

For as long as he could remember, Adrien had been instructed to only speak when spoken to and that his real personality was not proper or beneficial to his father in any way. For as long as he could remember, it was like he was placed in a room with a one sided mirror and he was tasked with showing the world his prim airs, leaving the real him to suffer silently where nobody could see. But wrapped in the arms of Marinette-- she was someone who had been there for him since his first day of high school and had seen him grow into himself, remained tolerant of the restrictions his father placed upon him and always graced him with a smile, no matter how awkward she felt-- there was literally nowhere else he had ever felt so safe and seen. 

Maybe somebody was waving back. 

Slowly, he pulled away from her and allowed himself to place a soft kiss on her cheek. "Thank you so much, Nette," he rasped out. 

A tiny whimper was all that left the mouth of the stunned girl. Adrien allowed himself the luxury to take her hand and lead her to class, not realising that he was assisting her legs to remember that their function was to walk, not melt. 

///

His little chat and hug with Marinette had helped him set the tone for the rest of the day. He could never forget his father was Hawkmoth because that wasn't something one could just eject from the mind, but he did manage to prevent it from affecting the rest of his day. He was able to focus when he was meant to, no surprise panic attacks and managed to interact with the rest of general society. 

But then the worst thing that could happen, happened. In his second last period, the city wide Akuma Attack Alert went off, pulling him from notes about genetics that the class was meant to summarise from the PowerPoint pushed to their devices. 

Adrien froze. He didn't know what to do. As Chat Noir he was meant to fight the Akuma but as his father's son he was meant to sit back and do what his father required of him. 

Adrien shook off his hesitance. He had a job to do. He owed it to Paris, to Ladybug and to himself. He let his body lead him through the motions of being excused to find some place to transform for that battle that would soon take place. 

Adrien had never before had a reason to hate his father. For every single act his father had committed against him, Adrien had some kind of excuse. When his father forced him into lessons, Adrien excused it by saying his father just wanted him to be the best. When his father locked him away from school and went out with his friends, Adrien said it was him being over-protective. When his father made him a model, Adrien thought his dad was just trying to find a way to spend time with him. 

But as Adrien watched Ratman unleash his rats upon innocent bystanders, he couldn't find an excuse. His father was a tyrant. Plain and simple. 

As he looked at Ladybug, the anger he felt for his father was stronger than ever. The fact that Adrien had allowed himself to be the man's puppet for so long affected him worse than anything. 

Well, no more! With that he threw himself into the fray, a plan to get revenge on his father and escape his iron fist rules hatching. 

Chapter Text

Sabine Cheng was cleaning up the house before she would be required to go downstairs and open up the store. She had the TV on in the background playing the 7 a.m news and wiping down the table after having made breakfast for herself and her husband. As much as they lived in a bakery, it was good for them to eat something that wasn't pastries. 

"Breaking News. Our radio station has just received news that early this morning, son of local fashion mogul and top model, Adrien Agreste, has committed suicide."

Sabine dropped her plate and looked towards her daughter's bedroom. 

///

"During the early morning the young Agreste released an Instagram post of him sitting on the railing of a bridge with his feet and the Seine in the shot with the caption, 'My entire life has been conducted in from of a camera and the general public so I thought it only fitting for the end of my life to follow the same deal. At the age of eighteen I have already worked enough to equate to the hours of someone who has been teaching for twenty years already. I've always wanted to be a teacher but knowing my father, I would have never even gotten the chance. I am tired of living a lie and being nothing more than his second shiniest trophy. Yes, second, because he has always placed career above me, his son. Ever since my mother died, the will to live has been severely lacking. After forcing my father to accept letting me go to public school, things got better but now as I'm gearing up to decide what I really want for me, I'm realising my father will never truly let me go. So with that, I say goodnight to my fellow Parisians.' We have yet to hear a statement from Gabriel Agreste or Gabriel Fashions. Police are currently on the scene, searching the river for the teenage boy--"

Andre Bourgeois turned down the volume of his TV and looked towards his daughter's bedroom. 

///

The Agreste House was silent. 

The house was usually quiet due to Gabriel's general dislike of chaos but after the smashing, throwing and hitting of objects, the silence echoed. 

Nathalie did not know how to think or respond to the news. She had known Adrien was unhappy but she had never thought it to be this apparent. 

She had honestly thought that despite his circumstances that Adrien was stronger. Or at least his urge for his father's happiness and approval would keep him from giving up and living through his father's demand. Nathalie had never thought Adrien would be bold enough to attempt suicide. It was probably the most selfish thing he had ever done. 

There were a lot of holes to Adrien's suicide, such as: how did he escape the mansion, where was his body and how were his friends. 

She definitely knew how his father felt, she thought while looking into her boss's bedroom. 

///

Hearing the news of Adrien's suicide broke many of his classmates, but it was easy to see that Nino, Chloé and Marinette took the blow the hardest. For the past two weeks, the empty seat beside Nino was filled with flowers and gifts from children in the other classes yet it still felt so empty. 

Nino had missed the first three days of school and Marinette and Chloé missed an entire week. When Chloé finally made it back to school, she couldn't go an entire period without breaking into tears, which in turn brought about breakdowns from Marinette and Rose. Mrs Bustier was not able to reach her productively and she couldn't ble them. Whenever she was forced to take a break, she noticed herself pressing her hand to her stomach, allowing the life of her second child to console her. 

A grief counsellor was placed at their school in an attempt to help the children healthily. It was a sad attempt, but it was an attempt nonetheless. 

So many fangirls of Adrien had been Akumatized, proving to be some of the hardest opponents Ladybug and Chat Noir had fought. Marinette felt so robbed by the fact that she had to stay strong after the death of her friend while people who only knew him from interviews were Akumatized. Another thing she was able to notice was that no one who knew Adrien personally was Akumatized, probably due to the fact that they felt more numbness than anything. 

After Akuma fights, she felt so weak and it was all she could do to stop from falling to the ground in tears. Chat Noir had been able to notice the difference in the way she fought since Adrien's death. All she was able to communicate was that someone very important to her had passed. 

This left Marinette fighting physical exhaustion along with her emotional fatigue. By Wednesday of that next week, she was back at home and in bed sick with a cold. She barely felt better but that Saturday was Adrien's memorial and she refused to miss it. 

Marinette felt nauseous the entire morning as she tried to get dressed for the funeral. But she pushed past it and took out a black dress her mom had bought for her during the week. Marinette did not have many black clothes and she couldn't find it in her to make or wear one of her designs to his funeral. But she could imagine wearing her own design would have made Adrien happy because despite the distance she tried to put between them, Adrien was the biggest supporter of her dreams. 

She managed to get ready and go downstairs where her mom was waiting for her with a chocolate croissant and coffee. Marinette took one look at the croissant and turned around, dashing to the bathroom where she found herself losing the very little dinner she had last night. 

Her mom followed her into the bathroom and placed a hand on Marinette's back as she gagged. 

"Honey, you know you don't have to go, right?" Sabine rubbed her daughter's back in an attempt to soothe her. Sabine was so concerned 

Tears springed at the corner of Marinette's eyes. "Mommy, I really don't want to miss it." 

"I know, baby, but you can't force yourself to go at the expense of your health."

Marinette rested her head on the cool, ceramic of the toilet. Sobs shook her shoulders and a chill settled in her stomach. Her sunshine was 

gone

"Maman, I'm going," she stated, as firmly as she could amidst her gasps for breath.

"Okay, honey," her mom accepted with a weary voice, "okay." 

///

The atmosphere of the hall suited the occasion. Marinette walked through the door with her head held high. After she had successfully kept her breakfast down, he mother helped her apply some make-up to make her look slightly more alive. Right before she left, she caught a glimpse of the bracelet Adrien had give her for her fourteenth birthday and slipped it onto her wrist. She'd needed all the luck she could get to get through the day. 

It wasn't long before she caught sight of Nino and Alya in the pews reserved for Adrien's classmates. It was amazing that Gabriel had let them come to the funeral considering his obvious disdain for them and the way they were slowly changing his son into someone more confident and comfortable with hearing his own voice. 

She sat next to her friends and faced forward. Alya tried to gain her attention but Marinette knew she could anly get through one thing at a time to keep it together. Giving up, Alya instead took her hand offering silent support and did the same for her boyfriend. Soon enough Kagami and Chloe joined them on their pew, and then the funeral hall was full of everyone who was meant to be there. The press sat at the back, documenting the funeral for those who could not appear but would miss Adrien all the same. 

An organ began it's slow chorus, playing one of Adrien's favourite songs in a slow, droning tone. Marinette squeezed Alya's hand, knowing that it was going to be a long day. 

Chapter Text

Chat Noir rested on the Notre Dame, waiting for his lady to show up. It had been two weeks since he died and he couldn't be happier. Sure, he had his moments where he missed his old life and the security of having his friends around him but living as Chat Noir has made his life easier. 

He had bought a little apartment a few years ago as his and Ladybug's hideout. It was as if a part of him had known at some point he would need the extra shelter. He and Ladybug had agreed at some point that they would need a civilian to sign their papers so they had gotten Luka Couffain to help them with that. It was convenient because all they had needed was his signature and he spent most of his time in New York City. 

He had turned the hideout into his own little bachelor pad, which was something he admittedly still had to tell Ladybug about. Hearing the slight ziippp! of her yoyo in the sky made him wince. He had to actually address the matter, didn't he? 

Ladybug landed with a light thud. Ladybug had been despondent for the past few days and he suspected it had something to do with his death. He was hesitant to assume it was about him because he doubted that he was the only person to die on the day he died when she told him about someone she knew passing away. 

"Hey, Milady, how you holding up?" He asked, concern coating his voice. 

Ladybug smiled weakly at him. He reminded her so much of Adrien so much that sometimes it hurt. She could see how much her pain was affecting him and figured that the least she could do was communicate her feelings to him. Her parents had gotten her a therapist recently and her first session was the day before. Ladybug’s therapist strongly suggested she begin talking about her emotions and thought process to avoid breaking down completely.

“To be honest,” she began. “I have been affected by Adrien Agreste’s suicide. I didn’t know him personally as Ladybug but he’s the same age as us and he is in the same class as many of our backup heroes. And that caption…” tears welled up in her eyes. “He was so unhappy, Chat. By some twist of fate, it could have been me or you or any other one of our backup heroes in his shoes. Feeling held back and restricted. Feeling so unhappy that that was his last resort,” she began sobbing. “I know I probably couldn’t have stopped him but I can’t help thinking ‘what if’.” 

Her voice sounded thick and the most un-Ladybug Chat had ever heard it. Watching how she heaved, the distress in her eyes and the redness of her runny nose, he almost wanted to reveal himself right then and there. He did not want his Lady to cry that way. He hadn’t had the chance to see any of his friends since he faked his suicide. He had managed to crash his memorial for a few moments in the eulogy that Alya had been allowed to give on behalf of all his classmates. He hates to have deceived them the way he did but his plan to get Hawkmoth would not work otherwise

Chat Noir could do nothing except offer his partner a hug. “Ladybug, I’m sorry,” he whispered.

She pulled her head away from his shoulder, “No need to apologise. It’s not your fault I feel this way.”

Chat Noir just looked at her and the strength she put together on her own. But the thing he couldn’t tell her is that it was his fault. He was the reason she felt the way she didn’t and he couldn’t even console properly. Instead, he just decided to give her another hug.

They stayed that way in silence for the next few minutes while they pulled themselves together.

“Tell me something happy,” she murmured into his shoulder.

Chat Noir sat in silence for a while. Something happy? When last had he felt that kind of emotion? Finding out his father was Hawkmoth distanced the idea of him ever feeling some kind of pleasure, especially with the guilt of not telling Ladybug the truth anchoring him to the bottom of his put of sorrow. 

But he wanted to make her feel better. If he couldn’t feel happy, someone should, right? And he had a plan. He’d catch Hawkmoth out without anyone he cared about getting in the crossfire. So for now he’d commit to one idea at a time and make his lady feel better.

“End of May or early June, a picture-perfect afternoon we shared,” he began after searching through his mind, past the mud of pain and tears his father’s actions had poured onto him. It took a lot for him to find a memory that was not tainted in some way, the last memory of his that had the sun warming his skin and laughter carrying his breath. “My friends and I went out of town for the first Saturday I had no obligations since I was busy the whole spring break. We went to Parc de Bagatelle to enjoy the sun, air and flowers. The four of us packed ourselves into a shuttle with a picnic basket, a sneaky bottle of champagne and disposable cameras I bought online.” A small smile began finding its way onto his face as he thought of the day he had smiled more than any other time he could remember. Nothing was better than good company, food and a fun field trip.

////

The friends were packed in the backseats of the minivan Adrien had rented out for them. Alya and Marinette sat comfortably in the back while the boys occupied the seats in front of them. The picnic basket had been put in the boot after Adrien kept trying to sneak a hand in and get a cookie. Marinette caved and took out a packet of cookies before storing the rest of the basket away before he craved anything else.

Nino had control of the aux and the teenagers chattered lightheartedly while the Gorilla and their shuttle driver sat calmly and quietly in the front seats.

Street signs flew past as they curved around the roads on their way to the outing that Alya had arranged for them. They passed the time with games like eye-spy and the number plate game. It wasn’t even midday yet and Adrien already struggled to keep a smile off his face.

The shuttle driver dropped them off at the entrance of the gardens and they got out, grabbing their belongings along the way. Adrien was the first to get his hands on the picnic basket.

“So, what first?” Adrien asked his friend, excitement bouncing off him in waves.

Marinette, Alya and Nino could not help but stare at him. The way he was standing, with the sun shining directly on his face, sparkles bouncing off his golden hair and feint freckles making an appearance had them flabbergasted. The trio was used to Adrien’s good looks but when he smiled. He looked unnaturally beautiful.

“Dude,” Nino began, “you’re doing it again.”

Adrien blushed and looked down at his feet. Nino had once explained to him what it was he did without knowing. At first, it was hard for Adrien to understand but then he pulled up a Youtube compilation of how the background changes when anime characters look cute and he understood. Then he got flustered.

Marinette giggled at his reaction and Alya smiled sweetly at him. “Don’t sweat it, Sunshine. Happiness just makes you look extra bright, meaning I’ll have to turn gorgeous aura up to balance you out.”

Adrien laughed at Alya’s comment and his smile was back full force, infecting the rest of his friends.

“Why don’t we start there?” Marinette suggested, pointing at a crepe and ice cream stand close to the entrance. “We can have something to tide us off until lunch.”

The group agreed to the idea and wandered to the stall with Gorilla following behind them. The large man held a pink blanket and umbrella -- borrowed from Marinette’s-- house in his hands. Placing their orders and receiving them did not take very long and before they knew it they had entered the gardens.

“Wow,” Marinette sighed, taking in the expanse of green grass, families picnicking and the kaleidoscope of colours blooming from the ground. She took a few steps ahead of them and took a deep breath, allowing the scent of spring and peace to fill her lungs.

Adrien couldn’t help but admire the small smile on her face. As much as he loved having a free day, he realised there was nothing that could make him happier than seeing his friends relaxed and at peace.

“It’s not as full as I thought it’d be,” Alya, placed a hand on her head and ran her hands over her gelled back curls. She’d begun following more Curly Hair bloggers and had decided to attempt a slicked back, low ponytail, but she was still slightly self-conscience because her hair had a history of not behaving when she needed it to most. Satisfied that no stray curls had escaped she lowered her hand and went to stand next to her best friend. She and Marinette had gotten ready together after a sleepover the night before. Her friend looked cute in a fun sundress, while Alya had worn a simple romper. 

Alya surveyed the area for a while before seeing a spot a little further off under a few trees. They had the umbrella but Mother Nature was always the best when you needed some help. “Over there,” she pointed out, before grabbing Marinette’s hand and dashing away.

Adrien couldn’t help but chuckle as Marinette yelped. “Alya,” she squealed as she held the back of her dress to the back of her thighs so that it didn’t expose her. Nino laughed beside him.

“Come on, man,” he said, as they followed after the girls, Gorilla trailing silently behind them.

Alya had pulled a blanket out of her large tote and Marinette helped her lay it down. The boys arrived and Adrien put the picnic basket on the ground while Marinette thanked Gorilla for carrying the other blanket and laying that one on the ground too.

Once their area was set up, Gorilla took the camping chair he had with him off his back and placed it next to the blankets. He pulled out a comic book and his headphones and plopped himself down.

The four friends looked at each other and giggled, happy to see the alert man relax for once. They sat on the blankets and finished off the rest of their crepes. 

“Okay,” Alya said suddenly, shocking Adrien out of the little mood he’d worked himself into after finishing his crepe. He didn’t think he would finish it that quickly. “Let’s take a walk around to work up an appetite for Nettie’s goodies--”

“I told you not to call them that!” Marinette hissed.

“-- and take Instagram pics before Marinette and I bloat up, okay?” Alya continued, undeterred by Marinette’s embarrassment.

“Don’t worry, Nette, you’re all good,” Adrien teased with a smirk.

Marinette held her hands up ready to give him a good smack before remembering who he was. “You’re lucky I’m such a forgiving person, Agreste. Or else it’d be all over for you.”

He cackled as he stood up, offering her a hand as a sign of peace. “Don’t worry, Nettie. I won’t talk about your goodies.”

Her face gained a flush as red and bright as he’d ever seen it. “Adrien,” she protested, squeezing his hand hard enough to fracture bones. Adrien laughed through pain, not sure whether to pull his hand away or rile her up more. When she finally decided he had enough, she let him go and he covertly shook out his aching hand. There was a lot of power in that tiny body.

Nino snickered, noticing Adrien’s suffering, “Smooth, bro.”

Adrien nudged him with his shoulder, “Shut up.”

Nino laughed out loud. 

The friends walked around the garden together, following any secret paths Alya believed would lead somewhere magical, and more often than not they did. The secret off-trail gardens led to everything from a cute gazebo, gorgeous gardens and a tiny koi pond.

Adrien took enough pictures to fill ten photo albums full. The smiles on his best friends’ faces immortalised for him to keep forever. He had fun being on the other end of the camera for once. 

“Wow, sunshine, these are pretty good,” Alya said as she looked through the pictures Adrien had taken of her and Marinette in the gazebo. “You should take pictures more often. Kind of unfair how you do so well in front of and behind a camera.”

“The beauty of being me the endless amount of talent I hold in my pinky alone,” he smirked.

“Dude, I’ve seen you dance.” The smile fell off Adrien’s face really quickly at Nino’s comment.

“Nino! You said you wouldn’t tell anyone,” he whined, a flush creeping up a neck.

“I didn’t! I only showed Alya the video. I didn’t tell her anything,” he replied innocently.

“And I only just happened to be with Marinette when he sent it,” Alya teased. “No need to get your panties in a twist, sunshine.”

He turned to look at Marinette, affronted. “You saw it too?”

Marinette shrugged, a small smile on her face. She pulled Alya with her as he asked, claiming to need the bathroom and escaping his interrogation.

“I think she’s finally warming up to me,” he said when it was just him and Nino walking the trail. Nino looked at him, confused. “I mean, she’s only had to go to the bathroom once this entire trip which means she’s not trying to avoid me and we even took a few pictures together.” A small smile crawled onto his face as he thought about the string of selfies he took with Marinette and how her confidence grew with each snap of the camera. He took some with Nino and Alya too but he didn’t think Marinette would want any with him. “Everything is falling into place,” he sighed, peace floating in the essence of his words.

Nino didn’t reply, instead choosing to tap his friend on the shoulder, just happy to just bask in the elation he exuded. They got back to the picnic area where Gorilla was taking a nap with a comic book.

They laid out the snacks that Marinette brought in preparation for the girls’ return to indulge. Adrien prepared a plate for Gorilla and stored it in the picnic basket for when he woke up. 

Alya and Marinette didn’t take long to return and soon they were all eating the finger sandwiches, mini burgers and tiny milk tarts that had been packed for them.

They all laid down in a small circle, their heads connected at the centre. They spent the rest of the afternoon staring at the clouds pass by.

There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, he thought to himself.

///

Ladybug stared at Chat. “How do you know about that day?” she whispered, terrified of the answer.

“What?” Chat stammered out. He was startled out of the tranquillity he had found for the first time since the truth about his father shook his world upside down.

“That day…” I remember it. She wanted to say. The day where Chat described had too much in common with the outing she and her friends had months ago.

While Marinette was thinking Chat was coming up with excuses. “Uhm, uh… we were friends!” he finally exclaimed.

Ladybug was shaken out of her thoughts, “What?”

“Adrien and I. Uhm, we’re friends. Sometimes on nights when I can’t sleep I’d go to his and we’d hang out. We both suffered from insomnia and he was cool with it so we started hanging out,” he rushed out. Trying to give an unsuspecting amount of exposition to his apparent friendship with himself. Keep it vague, then you won’t make any story mistakes.

“Then why did you..” she began quietly.

“Borrow his memories?” he hesitated on what to say at that moment. He sighed in defeat and figured the best lies included the truth. “Well, I don’t have the best home life, so I don’t have many good stories to tell. I figured that even if it wasn’t my happy memory, it made me happy hearing about it so, hopefully, you’d be happy hearing about Adrien’s favourite day too. I just didn’t know you already knew it?”

His last phrase was a question, revealing to her his curiosity on how she knew the memory was Adrien’s. “Sometimes I talk to Marinette,” she supplied. Her throat clogged as she thought about the warmest day of the year in her memories. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she opened up to her partner, “She had a lot of fun that day.”

They sat in silence for a while as the wind blew against their cheeks, flushed from their mutual lies.

“So, you and Adrien were friends?”

“Huh? I mean-- yeah? Yeah, I guess we were,” he said.

“Did you…” she swallowed harshly. “Did you know he was gonna…”

Chat laughed harshly. “I had no idea. Honestly, he shocked me as well.” The smile on Chat’s face was bitter and filled with resentment.

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

“What did you guys talk about?”

Chat internally flinched. He should have expected her to have more questions. “Oh, uhm, well… we never really wanted to talk about what was bothering us so we spoke about everything that was nothing I guess.”

“You must miss him a lot,” she commented, wistfully.

“Adrien?” Chat had to think about that one. Did he miss being Adrien? Did he miss being locked away, craving the cold affection of his father and excusing all his faults and mistakes that destroyed him? The boy who ran after his father excitedly at age six, excited to show off his newest work of art? The boy with endless optimism, ignorance and naivety? The boy who exuded innocence and believed that there were no endlessly dark corners of the world? “ I guess? Sometimes. He was the only person in this world like me, I guess.”

Ladybug studied him. “Chat? Do me a favour?”

“Anything for you,” he replied instantly as he always does.

Ladybug licked her lips, nervous to say her next sentence. “Go have dinner with the Dupain-Chengs tomorrow. I know you’ve been sleeping at the den lately and I don’t know why and I won’t pry but I think they need you as much as I do.”

Chat Noir was shocked. Speechlessly, he nodded.

He never could say no to his lady after all.

Chapter Text

“It was great having you over for dinner, Chat,” Sabine said with a sweet smile to the cat-themed hero.

Chat smiled shyly towards his hosts, Marinette’s parents sitting across from him and Marinette next to him.

It was three days after his last patrol with Ladybug and he had decided to take her advice in having dinner with Marinette’s family. He hadn’t planned it initially, but Marinette had waved him down during one of his solo patrols to pass the time. She seemed to be returning from buying a few ingredients that needed to be stocked up at home.

With a sweet smile, and a lure to help her carry the groceries he had walked her home before he knew it. And when she invited him as thanks, he eradicated any idea of denying the offer at the savoury smell of dinner tickling his nose and Ladybug’s instructions.

He never realised how lonely he was until he was sitting at their dinner table, listening to Tom and Sabine share stories of strange tourists that had come to the bakery that day. The smile on his face grew wider as Tom grabbed his shoulder, “You should come by more often, son.”

“Thank you, Mr Dupain,” Chat replied. 

Tom stood up on his way to put their dishes in the sink and patted him on the shoulder on his way. “No problem. Your visit is the most I’ve seen my baby girl smile in a while,” he whispered in his ear, obviously not wanting Marinette to hear.

Chat nodded solemnly. He couldn’t imagine how Marinette had felt ever since he faked his suicide.

“So how are you, dear? We’ve been talking about ourselves all night,” Sabine asked.

Chat didn’t want to lie to them, especially after they had been so sincere with him throughout dinner. “I’ve been a little shaky. It’s been a hard few weeks for Paris and I’ve been feeling it personally and emotionally, I guess.”

Marinette stood up from the table to lend her dad a hand with the dishes. But Chat could bet that it was to escape the conversation. He was worried about her. She barely said a word since they sat at the table, seeming content in letting her parents carry the conversation.

“I can imagine. Having had Adrien in our home, it's hard to believe we couldn’t have done more to help.”

Chat felt that old guilt creep up on him again. So many people felt like it was their fault for not doing rough to help him, meanwhile, he was healthy and alive in front of them.

“How about some video games?” Tom offered, having finished washing the dishes with Marinette. 

Chat readily agreed and stood up to go play some video games with the older man. It was four rounds later when Marinette decided to join in. Tom passed Marinette the controller and she switched places with him. Marinette was not acting passively for the first time all night, letting the evening pass her by.

Her lips were tugged up a little at the thought of some virtual violence and Chat couldn’t help but feel incredibly happy at that small step. She slipped off her slippers, folded her long legs underneath her, and rested her elbows on her thighs.

“Is that comfortable?” he asked, stifling a smile. 

She always tried to fix her posture when Adrien pointed it out but usually ended up reverting to the same hunched-over style. This time she didn’t even try to sit up straight and instead scowled at him with a, “Just start the game.”

It was always the same push and pull when he played with Marinette. He (and Max) had always been the only people with the ability to at least make her break a sweat. They were evenly matched. The first person to make a move would win, meaning it was no longer about technique and just about reflex. The good thing was Adrien had played enough video games with Marinette to know where her sweet spots were. 

Completely, unaware of himself and his situation, his belt began moving on its own accord, twisting behind Marinette and tickling her side. She squealed and lost her grip on her controller giving him the opportunity he needed to thrash her.

“Boo-yah, Chat-style,” he jumped up, doing the little pseudo-dab he’d seen her and her father do.

Marinette looked up at him with anger-flushed cheeks and scrunched brows, “That’s cheating!”

Chat looked down at her innocently, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do! You used your tail and tickled me!” 

“You have no proof,” he mocked.

Marinette balled up her fist and punched him in the shoulder.

“Marinette!” Sabine scolded from the sidelines. “You do not hit the guest,” Chat stuck his tongue out at her. “At least not while we’re watching.” Marinette returned the gesture.

From then on two pouty teenagers were sitting on the couch. Sabine stood up to go get some coffee cake for everyone to wrap up the night and they ate while watching the news.

The news had stopped talking about Adrien and his death and instead the investigation being led against Gabriel Agreste. Petitions from fangirls and concerned parents around the city had pressured the police into finding out just how abusive and negligent Gabriel had to be for his son to commit suicide. 

Marinette knew a lot about the situation Adrien was under being his best friend’s girlfriend’s best friend. But she knew Adrien wouldn’t want his father in jail, no matter what he said before the incident and also, Gabriel’s high seat in the public would be hard to topple down by just one girl who tried to remain distant from the boy she loved. She put her feet on the couch and hugged her legs to her chest.

“I do not know whether I should feel sorry for the man or pleased that he is finally getting what he deserved,” Sabine commented.

“What do you mean?” Chat asked, unsure how to respond to her opinion.

“Everyone knows how he treated Adrien. The emotional abuse was so prominent to those close to him. We always knew that his behaviour would drive Adrien away some way or other but we just never thought it would happen the way it did. I feel like it’s one thing to know you drove your child away or even to emancipation because then you know they’re healthy wherever they are. But to have a hand in the pain that caused your son’s suicide? That must be a guilt and pain a single person should never have to experience,” Tom explained.

“That’s if he even cares,” Marinette muttered darkly.

The room was silent for a while after Marinette’s comment. She had just placed on the table a very hard pill to swallow. 

Does Gabriel Agreste even care?

Tom cleared his throat, an obvious segway into a different conversation, “Did you know Adrien well, son?”

Chat looked around the room trying to avoid their gazes and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I mean, he’s a celebrity, I’m a celebrity. I knew him as well as two celebrities knew each other.” He put his hand down and allowed his eyes to focus back on his audience and their blank stares made him feel awkward. He looked down, fiddling with the joystick on his controller. “I guess you could say I knew him well?”

Sabine smiled at him softly, as if understanding how hard it is to talk about what she would assume to be a friend who committed suicide. “How did you two become acquainted if you don’t mind me asking.”

“Uhhh, ha,” he chuckled nervously. Marinette just looked at him attentively as if ready to hear his story. He honestly felt sorry for her. He couldn’t find it in himself to just brush her away and looking at Tom and Sabine’s supportive faces, he couldn’t just brush them away either. “We used to talk on nights I had patrol and it was too quiet. We had… a lot in common I guess you could say.” Studying their worried faces he had to backtrack slightly, “I mean, I’m fine. I’ve never felt like hurting myself or anything and I thought we were on the same page, that we were both getting better but I’m the one that stuck around I guess.

“We texted sometimes if things got hard. Sent memes and cat puns. More stuff we had in common. We had an understanding, I guess. We were just perfect strangers you know. Someone you could talk to that didn’t know you well enough but also understood you that made it comfortable to talk about things people would find uncomfortable.”

“Wow,” Sabine said. 

“Yeah…”

“Well, son, I really think Sabine and I should call it a night,” Tom said. He patted Marinette on the shoulder, “I’m sure my cupcake can show you the way out.”

Tom patted him on the shoulder and Sabine hugged him as a goodnight and they both walked out.

Then it was just him and Marinette for the first time since she invited him over for dinner. She didn’t say anything so he decided not to say anything either. 

“Do…” Chat started slightly, he was surprised to hear her speak. Marinette shivered slightly and he found a throw to put over her shoulder. She hummed as thanks and pulled the corners closer to herself. Her hair was down so when she was comfortable enough to go back to hugging her knees and resting chin against them, it fell her shoulders in soft waves. It took her a while to muster the courage to speak again and when she did, he gave her his full attention. “Do you have the texts?”

Chat tensed up, why would she-- “I’m not trying to test you or anything,” she added before his mind could lead to a disappointing conclusion. “It’s just… we didn’t talk much and I’d like to hear from him again? God, I sound like such an idiot.” She hid her face into her folded arms and began muttering to herself, probably trying to get her words in order. “I’m not a person who really spends a lot of time on my phone in the first place, and add that to the face that I was too dumb to talk to Adrien, we barely have texts and I feel like I never gave myself the chance to get to know his most authentic self when he was still here because I was stupid and thought the best way to get over him would be to put distance between us and I- I…” after all her rambling Marinette lost steam, her eyes welling with tears. “What… What I’m trying to say is… I miss him and I just want the chance to get to know him… even if it’s too late.”

Chat didn’t know what to do with the information overload. “Get over him?”

“I was stupid in love with him. Literally. I couldn’t talk to him, call him, text him or even write him a letter without sounding like a total idiot. So I started distancing myself. He’d be less likely to notice what a mess I am if I was just his best friend’s girlfriend’s best friend.”

Chat’s brows furrowed, he always saw Marinette as one of his best friends. For her to say that hurt. It actually hurt a lot. “Marinette--”

“You don’t have to feel obligated to or anything, I mean, they are your private messages. It's just…”

It wasn’t abnormal to see Marinette unable to articulate herself. And seeing how torn up she was over missing him and how much he missed her even though he was sitting right next to her, he decided he wasn’t upset with her. She had failed successfully at being one of his close friends no matter how much she thought she had distanced herself. “I don’t have the texts with me. I usually save them on a drive because… well reasons. How about this? What if I print out our text for you, just between you and me. A small present from me and Adrien, if you will.”

Marinette unfolded herself, shock painted on her face. “You’d do that for me?”

His smile was the answer and when Marinette wrapped him in a hug, he couldn’t even remember the coldness of five weeks ago in his bedroom.

////

“Okay, Plagg, it’s time to get to work,” he said later that night in his hideout. He pushed away the books he’d been using for his online schooling programme (just something for him to fill the hours of the day) and opened up the laptop he got for himself. 

“So now you’re going to forge a bunch of emails to yourself to please Pigtails? Adrien, this has to be one of the wildest things you’ve ever done and you’ve faked your own death!”

“Exactly! This should be a piece of cake!”

Plagg rolled his eyes, “If the cake was made of dry cement.” 

Getting the idea that Plagg was not going to be of any help, he started forging the texts between him and Adrien. “Dear Chat Noir, we’ve been way too out of touch. Things have been crazy and it sucks that we don't talk that much,” he paused typing and turned to Plagg. “How’s that?”

“That seems like a lot of effort for your best friend’s girlfriend’s best friend,” he said, floating in circles around the room.

“Shut up, Plagg.”

“Here let me help,” Adrien watched apprehensively as the kwami came down and began jumping on the computer keys. When he was done, Adrien read the words out loud, “I should tell you that I think of you each night. I rub my nipples and start moaning in delight? Plagg! First of all, this is inappropriate and not to mention weird. Secondly, I said we’re friends, not lovers. I can’t show that to Marinette. It has to be perfect so that she doesn’t feel sad anymore. You know what? Just move, I’ll do it myself.”

Plagg flew away from the keys allowing Adrien control once more to get himself a piece of cheese. For years, Adrien had been funnelling most of his finances into an emergency wallet for him and Ladybug in case things went south in their battle against Hawkmoth. He never imagined this would be how it was used. Either way, Plagg was not left wanting when it came to cheese which meant he was also quiet.

“I have to admit, life without you has been hard.”

Plagg snickered, “Hard?”

Adrien scowled and deleted and retyped the last part, “Has been bad.”

“Bad?”

“Plagg, come on how did you even manage to make that sexual?” Plagg shrugged.

“Has been rough,” he reiterated.

“Kinky.”

He decided to continue, ignoring Plagg’s adlibs. “I miss talking about life and stuff.”

“How specific,” Plagg critiqued before shoving a cheese triangle into his mouth.

“Shut. Up.” Adrien was turning red, straining to be verbally creative. His stretch into manipulating words ended at cat puns. He was a numbers guy for a reason. “I like my dad.”

“Adrien, no one talks like that.”

“I love my dad but each day is another fight. It honestly makes me consider smoking drugs just so that I can pretend things are alright.”

This time Plagg laughed out loud; little Kwami tears falling out of his drugs. “Oh, kid! Smoking drugs? I-- can’t--- breathe.”

“If I stop smoking crack?” he asked innocently, unsure how to phrase it.

Plagg fell out of the sky from laughing so hard and Adrien couldn’t stop blushing. “I can't-- I can’t crack!”

Adrien tried to recall conversations between Nino, Kim and Ivan and how they said it. “I got it,” he edited in ‘smoking pot’. 

“Okay, now, ‘I’d like your advice on how you’re always so nice. I’m gonna turn it around, just wait and see. I feel like a reinvention between our relationship is gonna happen. I just have to give it my attention and believe my dad and I can be as happy as any other family. Sincerely, Adrien.’

There,” he was chuffed with himself for finishing the first text, despite the insults Plagg flung at him.

“Are we done yet?” the mini-god whined. “I was watching RuPaul’s Drag Race and you’re monopolising the computer.”

Adrien didn’t even look at his kwami floating next to his shoulder, “Just use my phone.”

“No,” he complained. “The screen is too small.”

“Well, tough cookies. Now buzz off, I’m busy. I can’t just give her one text. She’ll think I suck for leaving Adrien hanging like that.”

“Oh, my cheese,” Plagg groaned. He took Adrien’s phone from the table and went to sit on the settee.

“Dear, Adrien Agreste,” he began. “I also miss our talks. I don’t think doing drugs is a good solution to your problems, just make sure to stay safe. Maybe try to go out and take some relaxing walks.”

“No,” Plagg dryly criticized from his seat.

“I’m sending pictures of the most amazing cats.”

“No.” 

“I’m proud of you, Adrien. Just keep pushing through, you’ll turn it around. Even I can see that. All that it takes is a little re-invention, attention and staying true to yourself. Like those Barbie movies we binge-watched that one night.”

“Okay, now you're just embarrassing yourself,” Plagg muttered followed by the sound of the Netflix logo.

“Sincerely, Me.”

“And Marinette is hot!” Plagg yelled.

“And Marinette is…” realising what he had begun subconsciously typing he blushed a bright red. “Plagg! Stop that!”

“My bad.”

Adrien spent the rest of the night like that, typing messages back and forth to himself. Opening up about his experiences and feelings over the past few months as both Adrien and Chat Noir. Plagg had fallen asleep but his show continued, fading to white noise as Adrien made sure to keep his tracks clean to not reveal himself to Marinette. He filled a few texts with nothing but memes and stickers when he got tired.

By the time the sun came up, he had just finished printing sixty-five pages worth of fake texts.

He thanked the heavens for the typing lessons he had taken, allowing him to type almost 35000 words in one night but his back and wrist did not share the same sentiment.

He reread the last words on the last text message that Chat Noir had supposedly sent. “All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you want to be. Sincerely, Me."

Chapter Text

Nathalie’s phone pinged. Another notification of the name Agreste circulating the web. She had set her phone to notify her of anything “Agreste” in the news and recently, her phone had been making more noise than it usually did. 

A beep once or twice a week in finance news or stock comparisons but never the drama that celebrities suffer through. Mr Agreste was not a celebrity by any means, he was just a rich man. Like Jeff Bezos or Bill Gates, no one ever actually talked or remembered they existed until it was mentioned or something controversial occurred. And Adrien’s death caused a hell of a lot of controversies.

And who had to handle the controversy afterwards? Nathalie, of course.

She sighed and grabbed her phone ready for the next headline. Much of what the media knows about the Agreste family is due to little leaks from the police and what Gabriel and the PR teams allowed to be relayed to the press. There wasn’t much fact the press could give out but that did not prevent them from critiquing.

The ignorant comments had caused Agreste stock price to fall which was incredibly irksome to Nathalie.

Adrien.

Adrien who had painted himself as this victim while his father was the villain. It was rare for Gabriel to leave the house but ever since Adrien’s comments, the mad never left his bedroom unless it was to create an Akuma.

One thing Nathalie could begrudgingly admit was her concern for Gabriel. It was just so selfish how Adrien had decided to leave him. The mad had lost his wife not even five years ago, and Adrien knew his father was still grieving. For him to die and drag Gabriel’s abilities as a father and entrepreneur through the mud was utterly thoughtless.

Nathalie knew exactly how much Gabriel had given up for Adrien to be able to one day get his mom back. If Adrien was able to look at the bigger picture, he would realise that his father pulling away was only a necessary part of the plan for him to have more when his mother was revived.

Gabriel was painted as a monster when, truly, if Adrien had never pushed so hard to go to school, had never pushed Gabriel so far, had just sat still and listened to his father like any child should have, he would have been perfectly happy. He would have never felt the need to do something as extreme as what he was currently doing. 

The longer the scandal of his suicide hung in the air, the worse stock prices would get, the more Gabriel would stress pushing him to the brink of either losing his mind to the miraculous or worse -- giving up completely.

Gabriel could not afford to give up on Emilie. She was the only family Nathalie had, she was the only reason Nathalie supported Gabriel’s endeavours. The pain and effort she had gone through would not be for nothing.

Luckily, most Gabriel employees sign a non-disclosure agreement of the family and the company before they address the press. The only people that would need to be kept in control were Adrien’s friends and classmates.

She had already gone and spoken to most of his classmates’ parents, explaining it would be in the best interest of their children, the Agreste family and Adrien if they did not speak about anything regarding Adrien to the press. Most of the parents agreed to the terms, if only out of respect, so no extra incentive was needed there. The only classmates left for Nathalie to confront included Adrien’s closest friends because they would be the ones with the most skewed views on the Agreste household. She needed to strategize the best way to speak to the families and persuade them that Adrien was largely living a comfortable life and his suicide had to do with external stressors rather than the claim made that his home life had anything to do about it.

Chloe Bourgeois’s father was easy to convince. As a man of politics, he knew when best to speak and remain silent… at least when it came to dealing with other rich men. The public? Not so much. But that's none of Nathalie’s business.

Nathalie called Gorilla telling him she was ready to leave. She went to Adrien’s room to collect some memorabilia to give to his friends so their sentimentality could be placated. It should be enough of a distraction to stop them from going to the press. 

Being in charge of the majority of Adrien’s care helped her choose the best gifts. She figured she’d be in then out. As she stepped into the room, she noticed something on Adrien’s desk. Nathalie walked towards it and realised it was a piece of paper, written by Adrien himself.

Nathalie was confused. No one had been in Adrien’s room since the last investigation the police did for any notes or signs that pointed towards him being suicidal and a visit from Child Welfare after the public demanded one. 

Gabriel was so upset at the accusations of his parenting capabilities that he almost didn’t let the agent in. It took a lot for Nathalie to be able to convince it would be better for him to do his visit and for them to show compliance. Gabriel did not come out of his bedroom the entire time. And since then he has still not left. It had been four days. 

Nathalie picked up the paper to see it was in Adrien’s handwriting.

‘To whom it may concern, most likely Nathalie since Father probably wouldn’t care enough to come into my room after my blatantly disrespectful death.

This is my real suicide note. Not the fake one I had done for the press and public to avoid questions. But the one personally addressed to my father.

First off, everything I said in that Instagram post is true. Ever since mom died, it has been harder and harder for me to continue living in this house. Nothing I did could satisfy my father and Nathalie. Sometimes you tried to help, but most of the time you were an instrument, aiding him in making me feel even more inferior.

Sometimes, I think going to school and making normal friends was a mistake. Maybe if I had never learned what a real family and a real home is meant to feel like, I’d believe this environment I’m in was normal and I wouldn’t feel like my best chance to escape it is suicide.

If I’m even going to be honest, I’m doing this as revenge and to placate my curiosity. I know, how will my curiosity be placated if I’m dead? To be honest, I’m not sure. I guess I’ll find out on the other side. But enough morbid humour. The question I’m trying to answer with my death honestly is, will my father care?

Will he care enough about me and about my death to do everything he can to bring me back. Would he care enough to become the country’s Boo Radley once again, a man who never left his home? Would he care enough to lose all empathy (that’s a tall ask because I don't think he currently had any to lose anyway)? Would he care enough to become a villain? Maybe to even become Hawkmoth and fight the heroes just to wish me back into existence like he’s doing right now for my mom?

That’s right. I found out the truth about Hawkmoth’s identity and while I can only assume Mayura’s my guess probably wouldn’t be too far off.

I know I’m asking a lot more than what either of you are capable of, but did you two ever think of me before following through with this insane plan? Did you genuinely expect me to remain ignorant and complacent forever? Did it never actually occur to you how I might have felt when I found out? Did you ever think that Adrien would be so disappointed? If he ever finds out he would be so crushed to find out he is living in the same house as what can only be classified as a terrorist? Did either of you think I’d ever want this for myself? For you? For my father and someone who was basically my second mother to be nothing short of evil?

To be honest, you could have emotionally abused me for as long as you wanted and I would have never moved. But to find out you’re abusing the entirety of Paris? That you are manipulating old and powerful magic and turning something inherently good bad? That’s something I cannot sit on. It’s something that not even I can excuse, not even for my mother. 

I can’t imagine how many people in Paris have lost someone due to an Akuma attack and would LOVE to get Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous to wish them back, just so that you can get one person back. Granted, my mother was someone who meant the world to all three of us but this is not natural.

People die, people are born. That’s the circle of life. And I lost my mom, the person who put me on this earth and would love me more than anyone else. I grieved for her. On my own, without the support I should have been given by my father. And my grief has not disappeared. It’s still there, but I understand now. I understand it was out of my control and I need to live my life, if not just for me, then for the both of us. I need to be happy enough for my mother and me. So that’s what I began to strive to do.

I tried to mend our relationship, I formed new relationships and I did things that made me happy. I knew working on a better relationship between my father and I would have made my mother happy so I sat through the pain he caused me.

But this heartbreak was too large for even me to handle.

So yes, my suicide is revenge. I hope that if it's not my death that brings you as much pain as you have caused me then hopefully my message dragged your company through the mud enough that that causes you pain too.

Nathalie, I know you might not give this to my father in an effort to protect his ego and peace, but at least one of you has to know how I truly feel correct?

And father, if you do manage to read this, then sincerely and from the bottom of my heart,

Fuck you.

Sincerely, Adrien AAA Agreste.

P.S Secondly, Please give Nino my sound system and DDR machine. For Alya, my comics and computer system. For Marinette, all the clothes in my wardrobe and gaming system. I figured you’d need a bribe to get them to not tell the press what terrible people you are.’

There would be no requiem for Adrien Agreste in Nathalie’s heart.

///

Gabriel Agreste was shaking.

From anger, shock or grief he did not know.

Nathalie had slid a note under his door and left. Gabriel had not become a vegetable since his son’s death but he preferred to remain in his room and gaze out to the Seine from time to time, watching them drain it to find his son’s body.

He had made a few akumas since his son’s death, but ultimately it costs more energy than it was worth. 

The swoosh as the paper slid across his hardwoods alerted Gabriel to a disturbance and he kept his refined stride as he collected the paper. The words were poisonous and articulated Adrien’s feelings well. But he digressed and got straight to the point. 

He wondered how he should feel about the revelation Adrien had left in his letter.

Gabriel couldn’t help but hope he died before he told anyone the truth. The thought gave him guilt but it was his honest feelings. Gabriel never felt anything but his honest feelings. Something it seemed Adrien was incapable of until his last moment.

Gabriel was at a loss. His son had placed a test in front of him. Adrien had given him an ultimatum even in death. This was something that annoyed Gabriel because Adrien was just a child. In what world did he have the right to judge his father’s actions to the point that he was left with no movement forward. 

It was obvious that Adrien thoroughly disapproved of his akumas, yet he wanted his father to make more to bring him back and… what then? Could Gabriel waste the wish bringing back an ungrateful child who wouldn’t even appreciate the effort afterwards, if only to prove he cared about him as much as he cared about Emilie? 

And Emilie. 

He could never bring her back to a world without Adrien. She would hate him.

Gabriel Agrest hated to admit it. He was trapped. By his own son.

At that moment, Gabriel knew in his heart, he could never sing a requiem for Adrien like he did for Emilie.

///

It had been a little over three weeks since Adrien Agreste committed suicide. Chloe had spent about the first two weeks utterly inconsolable. Heart hiccups, heavy headaches and tortuous tears had attacked her body. A physical unwellness caused by grief had taken over and landed her in the hospital near the end of the second week. Sedated on pain meds, her mind was too cloudy to process the emotions that came with grief. 

It was a lot for Chloe because while she had lost people she had never actually lost anyone. She had never had to process that with someone’s death, they ceased to exist. When her mom left, Chloe knew she was still alive somewhere and that she was simply existing somewhere separate. She existed in other people’s stories and lives, even if it wasn’t Chloe’s.

Adrien dying was different. There was no faint glow of him existing elsewhere. There would be no confirmation of him existing somewhere in someone else’s stories. He was gone. 

As hard as it was, she did end up coming to terms with it. Chloe did it all alone too. The therapists, counsellors and psychologists her father had sent had been useless. On her second day at the hospital, a vitamin drip connected to her arm, Chloe realised that it was really the end. 

There would be no Adrien running through the halls worried about her. Wanting to check up on her.

That’s if he would’ve even cared to remember your existence, she thought to herself bitterly. And Chloe did it. She allowed herself to be bitter about Adrien basically abandoning her for his new friends before realising that it wasn’t true. She knew Adrien. Sure he had changed from when he was twelve and would follow and believe every word that dropped out of her mouth, but she knew he would never actually abandon her. 

There was enough proof. She had done a lot of shitty things over the years and they hadn’t talked in a while but she knew that if he had been alive and he knew she was in the hospital he would visit. At least just to make sure she was alright. Because that’s who he was. That’s the kind of person he had grown up to be. He knew how to love. Unlike her. But he loved her despite that. 

She was also the last decent connection he had to life before his mom disappeared. He knew he would take care of her like he took care of all the things his mom had given him. And his mom had introduced them, thereby giving Adrien Chloe’s friendship.

It was hard. Painful, even. To lose a friend like that.

Chloe heard laughter down the hall. She decided to stand up and walked towards the laughter. Turning the corner of her hall, she found Chat Noir and a group of children standing by the nurses’ station, handing out flowers.

Some of the children were in hospital gowns while others were not, proving it was more of an excursion any child could join in. 

“Okay, Heroes-In-Training!” He said to the children after all the flowers had been given out. “Follow me, in a line. Quietly, so we don’t disturb anyone resting so we can give out flowers to the other patients.”

Chloe could tell the children were excited to be around a superhero, but they nodded. Bouncing, energetic small people arranged themselves in two lines, holding the hand of the person next to them and waiting in excited silence for Chat Noir’s approval. His hum of satisfaction bloomed a smile on the nurses and children. 

He turned around and caught Chloe standing there, observing. 

“Why, Ms Bourgeois, I didn’t see you there,” he commented upon seeing her. He over dramatised his every movement and word, spawning giggles from the kids behind him. “Allow the kittens to greet you please.”

The children tittered a bit before an unsynchronised, “Meow you doing?” fell out of their mouths and they all fell apart laughing. Chloe couldn’t help but smile. One of the girls took a yellow daffodil out of her flower basket and ran out the line to hand it to her. It was her favourite flower.

Chat caught onto her expression. “Would you like to join us? Today I’m teaching the heroes in training that the best way to be happy is by bringing it to others first.”

Chloe smiled looking into his green eyes. A strange peace washed over her while looking at him. “Sure.”

Chat smiled at her and nodded towards the flower in her hand, “You know, yellow daffodils symbolise new beginnings. And of course, they're also really pretty.”

Chloe smiled at the flower in her hand. It was really pretty. 

The requiem for Adrien in Chloe’s heart was loud and beautiful

Chapter Text

Chat walked Chloe back to her hospital room after the little ones were called to lunch by the head nurse. They were both quiet. Chloe twirled her flower around in her hand, contemplating.

It wasn’t hard for Adrien to find an excuse to visit Chloe. Not to say he wasn’t excited to cheer up the little kids stuck in the hospital but he mostly wanted to see how his childhood friend was doing. Chloe was never the strongest person emotionally. She had a habit of feeling her emotions so extremely and was always one push away from a total breakdown. Years of insecurity, bitterness and anger could do that to a person, especially coming from someone meant to care for you-- like a parent. He’d know. Not that it was an excuse for her responsibility when it came to others emotions but monkey sees, monkey do.

He cleared his throat wondering how to broach the subject. “So, um. Are you okay?”

Chloe was brought out of her thoughts at his sudden question. “Huh? Oh. Oh, I’m okay.”

Chat lifted a hand scratching the back of his neck. “Why are you in the hospital?”

Chloe took a deep breath. “Well, a lot of things. Dehydration, stomach cramps, nausea, heart palpitations, a murderous migraine and a small nervous breakdown-- all symptoms of grief, I guess,” she told him and bit her lip.

Adrien cringed. He knew his plan would end up hurting the people close to him but he never thought of the physical effects grief could actually end up having on a person. He hated that he put her through all that stress.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked.

“I’m starting to. I think I’m going to go back to therapy,” she answered. 

Chat looked at her, surprised but proud. “Therapy? Doesn’t really seem like your brand.”

Chloe laughed thickly. “No, it isn’t. Honestly, when I saw you, I had made a personal promise to myself not to see one because of the general redundancy of it when it came to processing Adrien’s death. I felt like I had to do it all alone, and I had managed to process it. I thought it would end there. But walking around with you and the kids… I kinda realised it was just the beginning. The excitement in those kids' eyes. Their genuine happiness and the desire to spread it. I haven’t felt that in a long time,” she choked out. “And, even though I processed Adrien’s death alone, I definitely know I will never get that feeling back on my own.”

“Wow, Chloe,” he mused, impressed. “That’s very insightful of you.”

She smirked at him, a slightly cheeky look he hadn’t seen since they were both younger. “If only Adrien could see me now right.” She looked back at the daffodil in her hand. “I think the saddest part for me is the fact that he died not wanting to be my friend or liking me anymore. We used to be close and I thought at the very least we’d be friends until we died. And now he’s dead and… hated me.” The tears began to build in her eyes, a red flush overtaking her face and a mournful frown. “He just wanted me to be nicer and I didn’t want to be because I didn’t know how to be. He made it look so easy to be a good person. He made friends with good people and then he left me behind and he hated me.” Chloe hiccupped, her heart in pain. “He was my best friend during the best and worst times of my life and I couldn’t even be his best friend in his best and worst times and right now, that’s what hurts the most.”

Chloe’s periwinkle eyes shimmered, a river of tears and pain. The little droplets landed on the flower in her hand, looking like dew drops on a spring morning. Adrien felt like crap. True, he and Chloe grew apart because that’s what happens in life. You find that you’ve learned all you needed to learn from that person in your life and moving on to new lessons seems easy, natural even. But Adrien never wanted Chloe to believe he hated her because he didn’t. 

Did he think she could be better? Definitely.

Was he closer with his new friends than he was with Chloe? Sadly, yes.

But did that mean he stopped caring about her? Never. 

He hated that he never showed her at the very least that he hadn’t forgotten her or hated her. He was such a bad friend. 

He grabbed Chloe by the shoulders, making sure to have her full attention. “Chloe, I’m sure that was never what Adrien wanted for you or your friendship. I’m so certain in fact that he loves you like the sister he never had.” Chloe was still crying, shaking her head at his words. Her shoulders shook in his hands. “Hey, hey, listen to me. When people grow up they find new friends and new interests that don’t fit who they were when they were younger but that doesn’t mean they stopped caring. Adrien never stopped caring and he never hated you. I’m sure just knowing you thought that would break his heart into pieces. I bet Adrien is so, so torn up that he can’t be here right now to see how you’re growing and the new friends and interests you’re making even as we stand here. How cool would it be if he could be here for you to tell him you just made friends with a superhero?” Adrien’s voice was thick and raspy as he attempted to console Chloe. To tell her everything he never got to tell her. “I can feel it in my bones, that if he was here right now, he wouldn’t hesitate to tell you how proud he is of the person you’re becoming. Please don’t ever believe Adrien hated you. Don’t ever believe he stopped caring about you. Okay?” They were both crying then.

Chloe fell into Chat Noir, sobbing into his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her as she cried until she felt drowsy and sleepy. He grabbed a spare wheelchair that was in the corridor, sat her in it and wheeled her to her room, anguish in his heart and hope that she got the message.

///

The sun was setting when Chat finally left the hospital. When he had planned to go see Chloe, he never expected it to get so emotionally heavy. He never expected that he could make someone feel like that. What about his other friends? How were Nino and Alya? How was Marinette? The last he saw of her, she wasn’t.

He had gone over to give her the binder with all the texts a few days ago but she wasn’t home so he just left them on her trap door with a note.

Has she read them yet?

Did she like them?

Did they make her feel better?

Adrien decided to follow his heart to Marinette’s house where she was sitting, the binder of messages in her hands. She was wearing her pyjamas and a nightgown, her hair in a bun on the top of her head.

“Well, if it isn’t the little lady,” he announced himself obnoxiously. “ I see you found the present I left for you. You weren’t here when I tried delivering it to you so I wasn’t able to see the look on your face. Now imagine just how sad that made me,” he teased with a pout.

Marinette gave him a small smile. “Hello, Chaton.”

He jumped off the railing and placed both feet on her balcony. He walked to where she was sitting on the outside lounge chair. “So, is it everything you ever wanted.”

Marinette smiled, “He’s just so raw in these texts. It's like I can hear him saying it. I’m even learning about a different part of you, Chaton.”

“Me?” he frowned.

“I always knew you were more sensitive than you let on and now I have proof,” she teased.

Adrien laughed. “Well, it’s great to see you in good spirits again.”

Marinette reached underneath her seat and pulled out macarons. “I brought them up to snack on, but I got so into this,” she lifted the binder, “that I forgot them and lost my appetite.”

“Ohhhh, yummy!” he grabbed the macarons out of her hands. “What flavours are these. It’s the first time I’ve seen multi-coloured macarons.”

“Oh, the yellow is passion fruit and the pink is rose infused. I made them while experimenting and surprisingly they taste really good together.”

Chat smirked wolfishly at the snacks in front of him, “I don’t mind if I do.”

Silence fell over them as Chat helped himself to the macarons and Marinette continued to read the messages. Chat was content to just sit beside her as she giggled or sighed wistfully at the texts he wrote. He was glad to be getting such a great response. He worked really hard to make it as authentic as possible, even going as far as looking through his photo gallery for anecdotes that Adrien could share.

“Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh! ” she squealed. She slapped his shoulder closest to her, excitement overtaking her. “Chat, he talked about me?”

Chat, who had been enduring her excited slaps, took his wrists into her hands and held them together. “Of course he did. You were friends,” he informed her in a ‘duh’ tone.

Marinette gave him a snarky look. “I know that , alley cat. I just didn’t think he cared enough to talk about me with other people.”

Adrien frowned. What was with these people in his life thinking he didn’t care about them. Was he that bad at showing his emotions?

“You really think Adrien didn’t care about you?” he asked darkly.

Marinette looked up at his tone, shocked. She looked back down at the binder, seeming to be thinking about how to answer. With a sigh, she closed the binder and turned her full body to Chat. “It’s not that I thought he didn’t care. Adrien had a big heart. Of course, he cared. He thought of me as a friend, treated me like one and everything. It’s just… I guess I never thought he’d think I was special enough-- to him or in general-- to speak about me to other people.”

Adrien sucked in a sharp breath. “ Marinette Dupain-Cheng !” he reprimanded.

“What?!”

Adrien floundered for the words, speechless at the fact Marinette believed she wasn’t special to him. Or at all. “Do you know who you are?”

Marinette looked at him sceptically. “Who am I?”

“You’re one of the most important people in Adrien Agreste’s life!” he exclaimed. 

“Oh, yeah?”

“He thought you were awesome,” Chat gushed.

“He thought I was awesome? Adrien?” Marinette didn’t believe him. Chat was frustrated.

“He wouldn’t stop talking about you. You were practically the only thing on his mind. Your smile was one of his favourite things about you,” Chat confessed.

Marinette blushed slightly. “Really.”

Chat nodded enthusiastically. “He described it as subtle and perfect and real. You never knew how wonderful your smile could make someone feel. And he also knew that when you get bored you scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans. And he noticed you still fill out those quizzes they put in his magazines.”

Marinette started to fan herself. “Wait like what kind of fruit are you quizzes or the ‘are you Adrien’s perfect type’ quizzes because if it's the second one, I might as well just follow him.”

Chat looked at Marinette shocked. He never thought she was capable of dark humour. As the joke registered he couldn’t help the laugh that fell out of his mouth. “See? Right there! How could anyone not believe you're special when you make jokes like that?”

Marinette bit her lip. “How come he never told me?” she questioned softly.

“He kept it all inside his head. He didn’t know how to tell you. You were just so nervous around him and he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. He couldn’t find the middle ground to talk to you. He didn’t have enough words to express it. He’d always tell me if he could tell you how much you meant to him, how you were like everything but it was like you were a million worlds apart. He didn't even know where to begin,” Chat told her. He looked deep into her eyes, watching as they sparkled with the fading light. 

Her shoulders slumped slightly. “Wow,” she breathed in amazement. “You’re not just saying all this to make me feel better, right?” her voice was filled with uncertainty.

“ Marinette ,” he pleaded. His voice practically begged her to believe him. 

“I’m sorry. It’s just so much to take in. Did he say anything else?” Her eyes sparkled. Curiosity, amazement, confusion and regret lining her oceanic irises.

He stammered, feeling anxious under her intent gaze. It felt like she could see straight through him. “A-about you?”

Marinette leaned back from him, shrinking into herself. “Never mind, it’s fine. You don’t need to answer. I’m being selfi--”

“No, no, no,” he interrupted. “It's just-- he said so many things. I just need to think of the best ones.” Marinette raised a brow at him. “Uhm, well… he thought you looked pretty when you had those pink streaks in your hair.” Chat flushed.

Marinette shifted closer to him slightly, a tentative beam on her face. “He did?”

Chat chuckled, also shifting a bit closer to her on the lounge seat. Their shoulders were pressed against each other. “He also wondered how you learned to dance the way you do. Carefree, happy, beautifully. You fill the room in all the best ways, Marinette.” He leaned into her. “But he never said anything because he didn’t want to ruin things so he tried telling you in other ways. In smiles, hugs, presents and time,” he brushed a stray hair behind her ear.

Marinette’s breath shuttered, “I really didn’t know anything about him, did I? It really just felt like there was this great divide and the distance was so wide. I really didn’t know the best way to get to him.” She rested her head against Chat’s shoulder. “I shouldn’t have told myself confessing was impossible. I can’t believe he’s gone without knowing how much I loved him.”

Chat gulped at the sensation of warmth running down the front of his suit. Tears. Her tears. He gulped at her sincerity, at his vulnerability. All the words he had never allowed himself to say had already been poured out in the past ten minutes. What’s a few more?

Adrien took a deep breath. “He always asked me, ‘How do I just tell her? How do I say, I love you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng.’” Marinette bawled. “We’re a million worlds apart. And I don’t know how I would even start… if only I could tell her.”

Chat held her as she wept.

Chapter Text

Nino was walking to school on a bright and sunny Parisian day. Lately, Nino had taken to slowly and carefully observing and analysing the experiences that one felt on a day to day basis. The feel of the coarse pavement under his shoes, the bitter scent of cigarettes, coffee and exhaust that clung to Paris’s air, the press of his skin against his coat as he bumped into other citizens going about their daily lives and the tingling heat on his cheek due to the sun.

Just another normal day in Paris.

Walking into school was anticlimactic and the sound of slamming lockers and idle chatter made his ears buzz. Nothing had changed at school, things were abnormal as they usually were. Even the shrine of gifts left at Adrien’s locker was not an abnormal sight, the only thing abnormal about the gifts was their reason. Adrien was always being showered with gifts from admirers for his good looks and kind heart, but now Adrien only got gifts to appease his soul, Nino guessed.

The cool, hard metal of his locker shocked him out of his thoughts and then all he could focus on was the crinkly wrapping paper he had used to cover his books creating an interesting pattern for his hands to feel.

It had been almost three weeks since Adrien died but Nino felt like it was yesterday, today and tomorrow all at once. The lack of sensation in his heart and mind left him eager to focus on feeling other things.

Turning the knob to his classroom door, he entered without focusing on the bouquet of flowers on Adrien’s desk. The flowers were withering and looking weak, but they’d probably last another week or two given Rose’s insistence of not allowing anything else in their classroom to die.

He sat down, folded his arms and rested his head on them. He didn’t doze off, just listening to the sound of Marinette flipping the pages of a notebook or folder of some sort behind him. Her giggles and sighs led him to believe she was reading a book. Nino smiled mutely, where nobody could see, pleased to hear Marinette sound happy.

A thumping the seat behind him led him to believe Alya had joined Marinette. Nino still didn’t lift his head up. It would have been nice to lift his head, turn around, face his girlfriend and smile while getting lost in her honey-hazel warm eyes but his neck felt heavy and his head remained anchored to its place in his arms.

“What are you reading, Nettie?” he heard her voice in its staple tone of curiosity.

He heard Marinette stutter and flounder and the slap of her papers close. A flurry of rustling and movement and the sound of a zip led Nino to believe she was putting away whatever was in her hands. 

“Just something a friend gave me,” she states. He can imagine the flustered blush on her face. “It’s private so I can’t let anyone see it.”

Everything that happened after that was so sudden that when Nino lifted his head to see what had occurred, Lila had Marinette’s folder in her hand and Marinette had fallen to her feet with a thud and a yelp.

“Well, well, what do we have here?” Lila asked curiously, an innocent look reflecting on her face.

Marinette stood up and attempted to get her folder back from Lila who took a step back to avoid her advances.

“Lila, give that back. It’s private,” Marinette growled.

Lila pouted, “Come on, Marinette. We’re all friends here, we can keep a secret.”

Marinette clenched her fists, her jaw ticking subtly. It was not often when Marinette got mad but when she did, it was best to let her have her way. “That doesn’t matter at all. I have set my boundaries, Lila and so you need to respect them.”

But it didn’t matter what she said Lila had already flipped open the pages and skimmed through the content of the messages. A disgusted sneer formed on her face but it didn’t stay long because she howled in pain as Marinette grabbed her wrist and twisted it around her body causing the Italian to drop the papers.

“Ow!” she yelped as Marinette let go of her hand.

“You had no right,” Marinette defended, holding the papers close to her chest.

Lila rubbed her wrist still sneering at Marinette, “So what? You can continue to hide the fact that you’re reading Adrien Agreste’s text messages? God, Marinette, I knew you were obsessive but to read a dead boy’s messages is psychotic, even for you.”

Nino watched, confused. Marinette’s eyes filled with tears as she glared at Lila. Embarrassment, shame, devastation and guilt wracked her frame. The soft pink hoodie she was wearing and the black leggings formed a subtle shield against her as their largeness engulfed her. One deep breath, a whisper of “You don’t know anything,” before she let herself out of the classroom.

Lila glared after her, her face contorted with displeasure. “What a psycho.”

Nino looked at Alya to gauge her reaction and found her already looking at him. Sharing the same sentiment of ‘what the actual fuck’, they followed behind Marinette.

It wasn’t exactly hard to find her. Marinette always had the same safe spaces when she was upset about something. The supply closet in the art room had a large window that supplied natural light, the room was naturally cluttered with fabric, paint and papers and Nino didn’t get it but the paint fumes must calm her down of something art and craftsy like that.

Marinette had bunched herself into a little ball, her papers held tight to her chest. Her eyes were red and soaked in tears when she looked up at Nino and Alya. “I just miss him,” she whimpered. “Is that so wrong?”

Alya had a faster reaction and was generally at handling all the Marinette emotions a Marinette goes through than Nino so as expected she was on the floor before he could blink, hugging her best friend.

“That’s okay, hon. It’s okay to miss someone you love,” she mumbled into her ears, stroking her back.

Nino’s eyes grabbed onto little details in the art room like how the green paint in the room clung to the little bumps caused by the plaster, the sheen of the silk ribbons in the sun and the transparency of a box of tiny plastic ribbons to distract him from the moisture in his eyes. It happened a lot where he would get emotional and his brain would do things to distract him from his feelings without his permission.

His eyes grabbed focus to the papers Marinette had placed on the floor in lieu of hugging Alya. He hesitated slightly knowing it was the highly personal document Marinette did not want people seeing but Lila’s words rang through his brain.

He picked it up, a cover page of “For you, princess” was created. Flipping to the first page he saw screenshots of text messages. Text messages to Adrien Agreste. Nino’s brows furrowed and he started paging through the file with urgency. Jokes, paragraphs, pictures, his name sometimes, Alya’s name sometimes, Marinette’s name sometimes, Hawkmoth, Ladybug and Gabriel Agreste were all topics of conversation. Dark emotions Nino was privy to and even darker ones he wasn’t were painted on the pages. Jokes he had heard from Adrien before he passed were there in 4K for him to read.

Nino was… surprised for lack of a better word.

“Marinette… how did you get this?”

Alya let go of Marinette and both girls turned to face him. Nino could tell Marinette was upset he read it. “I asked a friend,” she supplied vaguely.

Alya stood up and stood next to Nino’s elbows to see what he was seeing.

She grimaced, “Marinette… this is… yikes.”

She took the folder for herself and read through the conversation Nino had paused on. It was close to the end of the folder and it was depressing for a lack of a better word. 

Alya flipped back to the beginning and skimmed through the pages. “Marinette, I don’t know how you got this but this is enough to put Gabriel Agreste in a jail cell for child neglect.”

Marinette paled. “No. We have no right to do that. They’re not even my texts.”

Alya looked at her friend, “Then who do they belong to?” Marinette hesitated. “Marinette. You know as much as I do what Adrien went through. I feel like even if we don’t expose Gabriel, it's important to spread the truth and awareness. The publicity of Adrien’s case will be enough to help so many kids all over France going through the same thing.”

Nino could see Alya slowly chip away at Marinette. If there was one thing the girls had in common was their strong sense of Justice.

“Listen, you’re gonna have to talk to Chat Noir then. He obviously knew a whole lot more about how Adrien felt than I did. Besides, half of those messages are his, it's only fair.”

Nino was shocked. Alya was shocked. There was just so much to unpack. Adrien knew Chat Noir personally. Marinette knew Chat Noir personally. Adrien shared some of his most dangerous thoughts with Chat Noir who shared them with Marinette.

Looking at Alya he could see the resolution to avenge their friend in her eyes.

“Well, looks like we have to make a meeting with a superhero to arrange.”

Chapter Text

Chat Noir stared at his friends sitting across from him in Marinette’s room. He looked up at Marinette who was sitting on her lofted bed watching the interaction. He could tell just by looking at her that she was anxious.

The tension in his shoulders melted away slightly when he saw how queasy she looked. She probably thought he was upset with her. Looking back at Alya’s determined face and Nino’s weary expression, he felt ready to calmly analyse their request. 

Marinette had called him down to her balcony the night before to come to her room that afternoon for the meeting he was currently in. Alya had just requested Chat Noir’s help in broadcasting Adrien’s story after finding out about the fake texts from Marinette.

“So, you want me to be the face of the Burn Gabriel Agreste Campaign?” he asked Alya for clarity.

“Well. that’s only like 7% of the reason why. The other 93% is that Adrien grew up in the spotlight seen and never heard, and if we,” she gestured to herself, Nino and Marinette, “tried to take on Gabriel Agreste on our own it wouldn’t be enough to drown out his influence in society. But you? You’re Chat Noir! You keep Paris safe on a weekly basis, your voice advocating for Adrien and every other mistreated child in Paris will be heard. No amount of money Gabriel could spend could silence you or hide the truth of what he did to Adrien.”

Chat Noir was understanding where Alya was coming from. “You’d do that for him?”

Alya’s eyes softened. “Yeah. He was our friend. He deserves his truth to be shared in its whole entirety and not an Instagram post of an account that Gabriel shut down less than 6 hours after it went viral.”

Chat Noir looked at Nino’s impassive face. “How do you feel about all this?”

“All I’ve ever wanted was what’s best for Adrien. He shared things with you that he never shared with me, meaning there must be something in you that he feels he’d find more understanding with. To me, that tells me that you probably need this as much as Adrien.”

Chat Noir stared at Nino in awe. “So you’re not mad at him for telling me all those things.”

Nino sighed and moved from Marinette’s desk to sit next to Chat Noir. “Of course, I’m not mad. Adrien just needed someone he could talk to who he didn’t feel like a burden. As much as I am sad that he couldn’t feel like he could talk to me, I also understand that in some masochistic, self-sacrificing Adrien way he was trying to protect me from his pain. He often forgot he had this support system around him. He’d fall off the grid for days due to burnout. He would just disappear into himself for days before he came back to school acting as if he hadn’t been gone for a week. He’d sometimes sit in class with me and just be miles away. His dad spent so long not looking after him that it started to seem like he still exists to other people who care about him.”

Alya who had been sitting silently in Marinette’s desk chair scooted closer to Chat, “Adrien deserves to be heard. His story cannot be hidden like this by money with the purpose of protecting a selfish, old white man.”

“We have no voice or power against Gabriel,” Nino added. “Gabriel is trying to make people forget. Pop-up shops, interviews, and limited edition collections are being released. Pictures of Adrien looking happy and smiling are being marketed. ‘Adrien’s Perfect Childhood’ has become some strategy to move the eyes of the public away from Gabriel’s faults and erase Adrien’s pain to make a buck. Adrien, the real Adrien. My kind-hearted, sincere, in pain best friend, is having his truth erased from the narrative of his death and that’s an absolute disservice.”

It was quiet for a while after that. Nino spoke with so much emotion and stead-fastness that Chat could still feel his heart beating. The cars of Paris drove past and hooted and the faint jingle of the bakery door opening and closing was the only signal of passing time in the room. Chat turned his head to the loft bed when he heard a squeak as Marinette shifted.

“No one deserves to be forgotten. Adrien doubted that it mattered that he was even here,” Chat Noir shared quietly. “No one deserves to disappear. And Adrien forgot that obviously. I can’t let anyone else in a similar situation forget there are people who care.”

Marinette spoke up for the first time, “We need people to keep thinking about what happened.”

Everyone looked at each other, tears pooling in their eyes. They had a shared vision. They had a shared pain. And when Marinette started crying, all the other three could do was climb up to the loft and cry with her.

It took almost an hour for the teenagers to calm down and regroup. Alya booted up Marinette’s computer and they got to business with the Adrien Project. Recruiting all of Adrien’s friends to help felt like a balm to all their broken hearts. A space where all the students would get the chance to share their most painful emotions and be heard. A place where Adrien’s memory could be protected with love and empathy that his father would never understand.

Chat Noir was excited to be part of the Adrien Project regardless of his earlier reluctance. He never wanted anyone to feel the way he felt ever again. As the leading face of the Adrien Project, the first post was a special video message to Paris from Chat Noir himself.  

///

That night on patrol, Chat stared out into the Parisian evening. Tomorrow morning all of his heartfelt words would be shared with all of Paris and he hoped they reached a lot of people because he was beginning to realize they were important. It took faking his death and watching his closest friends grieve for him to realize just how important his words were, no matter what his father thought.

Adrien couldn’t save himself but he was not the only child in Paris suffering. There were so many people out there who needed to find an ear to hear them before they did something as impulsive as he did without the luxury of a secret identity to be his second life.

He just hoped he made the right move.

Chat was sure that Gabriel had to have gotten his message. It had been a while since his father had akumatized anybody in hopes of finding his still-missing body. He wasn’t sure if this was Hawkmoth’s retirement at the realization of what his actions had caused or if he was planning his next move.

He sat there for a few more minutes before he heard the sound of Ladybug landing beside him. He didn’t turn to look at her for once because the turmoil in his brain seemed larger than his love for her at that moment. The thought shocked him. He had never thought that anything beggar than his love for Ladybug could exist, but he guessed your father’s status as a supervillain, faking your suicide, acknowledging the abuse you went through and the passive-aggressive revenge scheme you’ve been cooking start to seem larger than all of those things.

“Hey, Kitty Cat,” she greeted softly. She sounded a lot better than the patrol they had a while ago where he shared Adrien’s day with her.

He smiled at her softly, glad to hear her sounding more like herself. “Hey, bugaboo.”

“You’ve been busy lately haven’t you?” Ladybug broached carefully.

Chat kicked his legs and leaned back on his hands. He stared up at the sky and a wry smile fell upon his face. He knew it was just a matter of time before she noticed. “What do you mean?”

Ladybug raised a brow. “I mean how you seem to spend more time transformed than not these days. Don’t you think I haven’t noticed how you always seem to be out and about, how the base is looking like someone is constantly in and out?”

“I thought I was being slick,” Chat commented. Ladybug gave him a look. “Okay, I wasn’t being that slick but I don’t know why I thought you wouldn’t bring it up while fully expecting you to bring it up.”

Ladybug sat in silence beside him for a little more. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Did he want to talk about it? The truth was yes he did want to talk about it, but he knew he couldn’t talk about it with Ladybug. Not yet at least, not until he found out where his father stood with the whole villain status. And if that counted as Adrien being protective in his masochistic, self-sacrificing Adrien way, then so be it.

But Ladybug asked because she cared, so he wasn’t going to take that for granted. There were some things she deserved to hear honestly.

“I ran away from home,” he revealed to her. “I ran away with Adrien.”

He looked at Ladybug and she was looking at him with wide, scared eyes. “You and Adrien ran away together, does that mean he’s not… I mean they haven’t found a body and–” she was getting flustered. She was tripping over her words and creating theories and Chat Noir did not want to give her false hope of ever seeing Adrien again.

“M’lady, calm down,” he soothed. “I don’t know where Adrien’s body is. As far as I am concerned, he died. We were both meant to run away but I guess he had his own plans.”

Whatever sort of hopeful spark that had been created in Ladybug’s eyes was quick to change to anger. “How could you?” she seethed.

Chat Noir was shocked at the sudden switch in emotions. “W-What?”

“You had somewhere to run to. You became Chat Noir and no one would think twice about your disappearance when you made that plan but where did you expect Adrien to go? No wonder he… he probably had nowhere to go and decided what he did was the best course of action and you did not convince him otherwise,” her eyes started welling with tears.

Chat had no idea what to do. Nothing he could say would appease this. He had made a mess of this. No excuse he could make would redeem him.

“I guess, I didn’t think of that,” Chat confessed.

“I don’t think I can talk to you right now,” Ladybug candidly responded.

Chat Noir could tell that he broke her heart but that was never the idea. He was just trying to share how he felt. But his tangled web of lies made it hard to share his truth and he could do nothing but watch her disappear.

Chapter Text

“Have you ever felt that nobody was there? Have you ever felt like every emotion you felt was inconsequential? That speaking to someone was worse than suffering in that feeling? That having someone ask if you’re okay, waiting for a sincere answer was just some trick question? It’s so easy to feel like you could fall and no one would hear in modern-day Paris. Between akumas and Hawkmoth, some of us prefer to feel alone in our emotions in fear of sharing them and creating an Akuma.

Or maybe it’s not an Akuma. Maybe you hide your true feelings for another reason. Maybe you’re not allowed to talk about it. Maybe you’ve managed to trick yourself into believing feeling alone in negative emotions is normal. Maybe you just haven’t been given the platform to share how you honestly feel. 

You’ve felt like you could disappear, scream, fall and no one would even notice. And slowly, your strength to keep standing and keep moving leaves you. When those most important to you are the cause of your pain, loneliness and inferiority, it makes it even harder to believe how important your own emotional well-being is.

Mental health in Paris has been so taboo since the appearance of Hawkmoth. People have not been allowing themselves to healthily feel their emotions or share and communicate them with those who will listen. But there’s more to it than that. Parisians have forgotten that there is more that can hurt them than an anonymous supervillain. People under your own roof, the people that were designed to care for you may end up being the villain of your story.

And that’s what happened to Adrien Agreste.

Adrien was a victim of emotional abuse, neglect, and exploitation and lived in the house of a narcissist. A driving force to his suicide was the man he had been forced to live with and his lack of empathy and understanding of Adrien’s emotions. 

In his post right before his suicide, Adrien shared how he never felt cared for in his own home. He shared how his father had let him work himself to the bone for his understanding and refused to see his best efforts to be the perfect son. This type of carelessness to his son’s emotions created many blocks to Adrien’s healthy emotional development. Sharing how he felt, talking to people who cared, looking after himself and looking for a support system who cared for him became afterthoughts. And if Adrien ever did think of turning to those types of coping mechanisms Gabriel isolated him. Sent him to Milan, locked him up and gave him more photoshoots just to bar Adrien from people that genuinely held care for him.

Mental abuse is a killer not spoken about enough. Gabriel is painting this image of a perfect childhood and lifestyle that Adrien had to make Gabriel Agreste look like a good father when it is not the truth. Being left alone and ignored for weeks on end, being kept from school one of his only safe spaces and being overworked and forced to smile is not a good childhood. Adrien had the privilege that was something that cannot be disputed. But no amount of flights to some far off exotic area can make up for the emotional needs he had that were never met.

Friends can only do so much but there are some things that only family can balm and allow to feel better.

There is so much to Adrien’s story that could be shared and this is where we’re going to do it. Here on the Adrien Project, we will share Adrien’s real story and pain in a way that corruption cannot stop the truth of his pain from being shared. 

We would also like to share this with everyone else. On the Adrien Project, people may log on and share their feelings anonymously or otherwise and your voice will be heard. If there is anything our team can do to help you, we will do so. We will be consistently sharing information about Mental Health, the best way to get help and anything you need to know to help with understanding yourself and those around you.

You don’t have to feel alone anymore. When you don’t feel like you can do it alone anymore there is a group of people ready to give a helping hand and make you feel better. The world does not have to be a dark place. Everyone has the right to feel safe, protected and secure. You deserve the chance to share your feelings.

Please bear in mind, that there is no fixed scenario for feeling better. The first step is usually to acknowledge the pain and remember you are not alone and there are people out there willing to help if you ask for it.

Thank you for giving me your time, Paris.”

///

“Wow, did you see on the Ladyblog–”

“Yeah, the Adrien Project–!”

“And Chat Noir–!”

“Oh my soul!”

“My mom sent it to me!”

“My little sister really needed to hear that I think!”

“Everybody needs to check out–!

“The Adrien Project–

The Adrien Project–

The Adrien Project.”

///

Trending #1: The Adrien Project 150k tweets in the past hour

Trending #2: Adrien Agreste 100k tweets in the past hour

Trending #3: #GabrielAgresteSucks

Trending #4: Mental health

///

“Don’t be bemused, it’s just the news with Nadja Chamack. Today with us on Side by Side, as a special guest we have Alya Cesair, creator of the Ladyblog and facilitator of the Adrien Project. So Alya, do you mind sharing the motivation for sharing what was meant to be a Paris-wide campaign becoming a nationwide phenomenon.”

Alya sitting with Nadja for an interview for the Adrien Project sat up straight as the camera focused on her and she began sharing her point of view on the last few weeks. “Honestly Nadja, I am not surprised it reached so many people considering how prolific the most important people to the Adrien Project are but before we got the involvement of Chat Noir and this was just a small idea to share Adrien’s truth I never imagined getting this much traction. Once Chat Noir agreed to help, I knew that this was going to be something big and have an even larger chance of reaching more people,” she supplied. “The whole point of the Adrien Project is for every single silenced person in Paris to get a chance to let how they feel be heard by someone who understands. The point is to have this project be shared. More clicks equal more voices and cases like Adrien’s and many other children’s cannot be hidden with money and the right connections and they can have their chance to be protected. I didn’t want anyone to disappear in silenced pain like Adrien again. We wanted to create a space where people don’t have to feel unknown, where every time a person calls out they are not alone and every time that they call out, their voice will be heard. The motivation was to help people remember they are not alone. You are not alone.”

“Well Paris, you heard it here first. Repost the Adrien Project, and share it with the people you care most about. You could change lives.”

///

This is such a beautiful tribute to adrien im here just screaming crying throwing up like wtf

I honestly did not realise what a terrible person gabriel agreste was until adriens suicide but the adrien project shows me just how shit he is

No but like literally fuck gabriel in the ass lmao

I wish adrien was here to see this

So you're telling me adrien agreste was allowed to fly around, stay home, and was filthy rich and still unalived. Damn gabe you mustve messed up

    — reply: no because how bad of a dad you have to be that even your richness can’t fill emotional wounds. What an L

   — reply: you guys are acting very insensitively. No amount of money can ever fill the genuine care and emotion. You guys arent taking adriens pain seriously because he was rich and youre acting like losers

The internet is in pieces today like wtf

Guys, the point of the adrien project is for everyone to get a chance to share their emotions and share adriens story, not for you to decide if his death is valid or not. What is wrong with you people

Okay but WAIT YALLL WAITY wheres the body?

 —-67k likes

///

The Adrien Project was picking up a lot of steam. There was a continuous flow of comments and people talking and trying to get better. There were people embracing the truth Adrien didn’t get to share. Of course not every comment was great, but most of the reception was positive and the buzz was being created. 

As great as this was, Chat Noir could not find it in himself to focus on anything except what happened with Ladybug a few nights before. In an hour or so he needed to leave for an Adrien Project responsibility that he had committed to but just felt ultimately sick. 

In Ladybug’s eyes, he had selfishly made a plan with Adrien that benefitted no one but himself. Any excuses of believing Adrien had enough money to get on a plane and disappear or find somewhere to hide out were not good enough. Gabriel had money, Adrien would have been found one way or another. Any sensible person would realize Adrien thought of this and decided the best way to disappear was to simply not exist. To have not thought of that just makes Chat Noir seem like an idiot and he had no idea how to fix his mistake.

Frustrated, he left the base and jumped around the city waving at anyone with an eye quick enough to have noticed him.

It shocked him to see Marinette out and about considering she normally spent her time in her room these days. She just stared at the little kids playing on the autumn day with a wistful look on her face. It was slightly strange that she didn’t have her sketchbook with her and even stranger she picked a location so far from home. She was in a park a lot further than the one close to the bakery meaning she was probably looking for alone time but he figured there was no harm in asking if she was okay.

He vaulted and landed right in front of her, startling her. She looked at him first with shock then what seemed like anger before she shut him out.

Confused, he approached her carefully, “Hey, princess.”

“Hello, Chat,” she greeted plainly.

Chat smiled a little, “Brr, is it just me or is it kinda cold here?” Marinette gave him a look. “Guess it’s not just me?” he chuckled a little.

Marinette sighed, “Chat what do you want?”

“I just wanted to check up on you,” he replied with a frown.

“Don’t you have some kind of Adrien Project thing to be doing right now,” She asked with acid in her voice.

“Look, Marinette, do we have a problem?”

“Why would we have a problem?” she smiled passive-aggressively. Chat Noir continued to give her a look, not appreciating her attitude. Marinette sighed, knowing it was hard for her to maintain petty behaviour in front of someone like Chat. “I just… I’m just disappointed in you I guess.”

Chat’s ears flopped against his head. “Oh, so you heard.” Marinette nodded mutely. “Listen, there’s no way to excuse me, I know. He was in pain, I was in pain, we both wanted to disappear so, we thought let's run away and so we did. I didn’t really think much of where we’d both end up just that we’d be away from where we began. But I guess I killed Adrien Agreste, huh?”

Marinette sat up really quickly when he said that. She looked at him with disbelief. “Why would you say that, of course, you didn’t kill Adrien!”

“But isn’t that what you and Ladybug thought?” he asked, then he quietly added, “You wouldn’t be too far from the truth.”

“Chat, no,” she told him resolutely. “Neither of us thought you killed Adrien. We were just… upset because it felt like you could’ve stopped it but it wasn't fair of either of us to place that kind of responsibility on you.” She took a deep breath. “I was being selfish. I wanted to blame someone and you gave me an easy out. I didn’t think about the pain you would've been in to decide on that kind of escape for yourself and I jumped to conclusions, Chat. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Princess. I can’t imagine what it's like to miss someone you loved so much,” he forgave her with his soft words and a hug. “I’ve got to go. But thanks for hearing me out.”

“It’s nothing to thank me for Chat. I owed it to you. Now scat, alley-cat!” Marinette said with a giggle. Happy to have made up with one of his favourite girls, he saluted her and bound away.

Adrien’s next engagement was an interview he did with Alec Cataldi where he encouraged people to make use of their platforms. Then Alec asked Chat: “What is your personal engagement with the Adrien Project?”

“I guess, in all honesty I know what it feels like to be hurt the way Adrien was. I know how it feels to feel like you’re better off dead because the people you expect to care about you the most do not. That feeling where you just feel alone in the world with no one to turn to? I’ve felt it and had it been any other day, it could’ve been me.”

///

Not chat noir confessing he comes from an abusive household and contemplates slewerslide

///

Trending:

Chat Noir 171k tweets in the last hour

Chapter Text

SPOTTY CONNECTION PODCAST

Season 5, Episode 12: The Chat-pocalypse

47 minutes long

Posted yesterday.

“I’m Mila!”

“And I’m Lina!”

“And welcome to Spotty Connection!”

“Your favourite Miraculous spot- cast where we analyse over Akuma attacks, theorise the truth of the mysterious Miraculous and Hawkmoth’s identity, form connections with Akuma victims to get to know them better and most importantly chat about Paris’s favourite superheroes!”

“This week’s episode is mostly unscripted and off-the-cuff because so much has happened in the past month and even more over the past few days. Like, phew! Does the drama ever end?”

“Well, Mila, we live in Paris. Every day is a movie.”

“Still though! Like ever since superheroes and villains stepped onto the scene, Paris has been absolutely bananas but I feel like it has been way worse since Adrien Agreste died. It’s as if Paris is imploding.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, he’s Paris’s golden boy. His death is going to cause a hurrah.”

“Yep. This is why we needed to have this chat today, Spotters. I mean, over the last couple of weeks we had kinda glazed over Adrien’s death because of the Akuma's that had been caused as a result but today we decided to have an in-depth episode going into the circumstance of his death and the effect it has had on Paris.”

“And I’m sure you all understand why. With the news that came out yesterday with the Adrien Project and Chat Noir and the ever holy queen of journalism Alya Cesair heading the campaign we just had to do a deeper dive on the past 4 weeks of Paris.”

“The direction of the conversation should be hint enough but I would like to take this moment to explicitly state that this podcast has the following trigger warnings and to tell all listeners who might be affected to stop here. Suicide, eating disorder, neglect, child abuse/harm and death.”

“Please take the time to check in with yourself before we continue the episode. If you’re ready though, let’s dive right in.”

“Okay, so let’s start from the beginning.”

“And that’s Adrien’s modelling career.”

“The Agreste's have always been an incredibly private family. No one had actually seen what Adrien looked like until a few months after his mother’s disappearance. This is strange because Adrien had stated in his suicide caption that his whole life had been in front of a camera.”

“I feel like that’s more of a thing of him being the child of high profile parents. I mean, we all knew he existed. And his mother had stated in a few interviews that he was some sort of wonder child. I imagine he’s been forced into perfection for the majority of his life so his parents could show him off.”

“But I think Adrien prefers his mom a lot more than his dad so I imagine Gabriel had been the one to force all those ideals onto him.”

“I mean, that’s a fair assumption to make but like you said: they are a very private family. No one actually knew about the condition and state of Adrien’s well-being until he died. And honestly, with all the trauma he lived through who’s to say his mom wasn’t just as bad? That his brain hadn’t twisted the circumstance to make it seem like even though his father was a deadbeat, he had a parent who loved him and protected her image.”

“Jesus Christ, Lina!”

“Sorry, it’s just something I had been thinking about. It’s, like, totally off-topic, though. Let’s stick to the facts.”

“If you say so. But like, damn. Okay, so our facts are Gabriel Agreste basically exploited Adrien after his mother left and emotionally abused Adrien to a point of depression. Then about a year after her disappearance, Gabriel was at its peak within the fashion industry and no one had seen Gabriel Agreste but Adrien was on every single poster in Paris.”

“Then boom! Akumas come onto the scene and all the magical, fantastical things we grew to know as our usual.”

“This was all five years ago when we were 13 and we decided to start the podcast. It’s honestly still so crazy to think that Adrien is the same age as us. Sometimes he seemed so far away, so removed from our reality. It was hard to believe he could exist outside of magazines and fashion shows. It makes me feel bad, you know? That just because he was this famous person, we all forgot he was still a human. A kid even.”

“Yeah, like after it all came out I had never been more grateful to have the supportive family I do. My dad is like Latino, right and so there’s just this overwhelming passion in everything he does. It’s this warm look in his eyes that’s just like: “Lina, you want the world? Go get it, Mija. Take your acting classes, start your podcast, do cartwheels in the park, and dance like nobody’s watching. It’s YOUR world.” Like, I just got so used to growing up with that sort of support. It’s hard to believe there’s a world without it.”

“No, I get you. I mean, my parents are on the stricter side but like I’ve never felt small with them, you know?”

“Yeah.”

“And like, every child deserves that. It doesn’t matter where you come from or who you are. Adrien was a lesson that I feel like many people in Paris had to learn the hard way.”

“Dude. But I feel like Gabriel throwing his weight around to get out of paying for the way he treated Adrien is sending the wrong message. The kind of message that says ‘when you have enough money you can get away with anything.’ I mean the message has been around (cough Andre Bourgeoise cough) but your child committed suicide and explicitly stated you to be the reason on a public platform and you are going to ignore that it happened?”

“Yeah, no, Gabriel Agreste is a different fucking breed.”

“ So after Adrien dies, we get a few akumas and now boom. Silence. It’s been quiet for almost two weeks now and that is very much outside of Hawkmoth’s MO.”

“I don’t think we’ve ever gone more than a week without an Akuma attack. I mean two weeks isn’t that big of a deal but it’s disconcerting when honestly a little bit of the usual routine could be needed in these unstable times. Could this be a big brain play by our resident evil? Is he off on vacation? What’s the deal, Moth Man!”

“On top of that, Chat Noir is spotted on the streets more often than usual. It’s like the fucking twilight zone here.”

“You know I actually never understood that phrase, does it have to do with Twilight or is it its own thing altogether?”

“Mila.”

“What? I’m just curious. Continue.”

“Anyways. So we have Adrien’s suicide, Chat Noir’s frequent rounds, Hawkmoth’s silence and then BOOM!”

“The Adrien Project!”

“Fucking crazy, bro.”

“Dude. So like I was in math class when The Adrien Project went viral and did I not scream. There I was, casually scrolling through Twitter under my desk like everyone else and the Ladyblog posted the link, I sneaked on my earphones and it’s Chat freaking Noir in 4K! And I’m like, okay, cool, so it's an interview only to hear that freaking speech.”

“Dude, I cried when I heard it. So if anyone has been living under a rock, The Adrien Project is basically a social project run and headed by Alya Cesair and Chat Noir. Ladybug has posted on her Twitter that she was just as surprised as the rest of Paris when it was announced but fully supported Chat. The aim of the project is for children who find themselves victims of abuse and people suffering from mental health problems to be able to have a space to air it out and seek help and support from anyone willing to lend it. It borrows off the idea of the Ladyblog chat rooms but on a much larger scale. It’s grown to the point where professional therapists and medical aid are volunteering on the side and has been catapulted into becoming a nationwide phenomenon.”

“The site also doubles to share the real Adrien to the world and inadvertently expose Gabriel Agreste. There’s a tab called Adrien Archives where you can find old videos taken by his friends of Adrien at his most natural and some of his sadder text exchanges with – drumroll, please! Chat Noir! That’s right folks, Adrien and Chat Noir were friends (and maybe lovers). Like, everybody gets a peek into Adrien’s mind and what it was like living in the Agreste Household. There are also testimonials posted by his closest friends about Adrien himself and what they knew of what he went through. It’s just fucking iconic.”

“But not as iconic as Chat Noir’s interview with Alec Cataldi where Chat Noir confessed his own extremely dark origin and the fact that he has suicidal thoughts.”

“When he confessed that he literally broke the freaking internet. It’s like we know Chat as this mysterious, jokester superhero that’s never without a smile and now suddenly he has this extra layer where he has parents. And then on top of that, he has shitty parents? Or home life since we don’t know exactly how his family is formed. And Chat Noir, our hero, has such dark thoughts?”

“It’s crazy. Like, the golden boys of Paris both suffer from the worst kind of home life but never suspected it. But also, Chat Noir revealing that gave him this humaneness as well. Like, I know he has a secret identity but after saving the day, in my mind, I just thought he ceases to exist. Like, he is some sort of mythical creature to save Paris and then…disappear.”

“These boys in the spotlight are literally not at all what we expect them to be, huh?”

“Not at all. But, I also think this is all happening for a reason. I feel like Paris is on the edge of something. It’s like the climax of the movie right now. The tension is just gonna keep bubbling until something gives.”

“You are so right, Mila. Like, this connection between Chat and Adrien. It begs the question: do you think Chat knew about Adrien’s death? Does he have some sort of involvement? I mean, Adrien’s body has yet to be found. Bodies don't just disappear. And maybe, a very strong maybe, Adrien’s body went into the English Channel but the search for his body began very soon after his suicide. They should have found him. Bodies don’t just disappear, Mila.”

“You’re venturing into True Crime territory there, Lina.”

“I know but that’s our channel right. Connect the dots. Find a pattern in the spotty connections of what’s going on in Paris. I can’t answer the question but I feel like it’s an important line of thought with all that’s going on.”

“You’re right. And I think it’s a good place to leave off today’s podcast. Let the Spotters chew for a few on that thought, you know?”

“I think you’re right. The topic of supervillains and an evil mastermind and his effect on Paris have never been a light one but this podcast was probably one of the heaviest we have ever done.”

“With that in mind Spotters, be sure to check in on friends and family. Share the link to the Adrien Project and be sure to check it out yourself, we’ll have it in the description . Subjects like this are hard but these are the important things to have conversations about. Educate yourself, help yourself, help someone else and don’t turn a blind eye.”

“We’ve suffered from an invisible villain for too long and now we are beginning to see that Hawkmoth is not the only villain in Paris. The only way to best him and any other abuser in Paris is empathy. That’s our secret weapon, Paris. Not Ladybug, not Chat Noir. Empathy. Use it.”

“Well said, Lina. With that last remark. We bid you adieu, Spotters. Have a goodnight and catch us again next week.”

“Bug Out.”

1.4 MILLION PLAYS

///

Tom paused his Spotify before another episode of his favourite podcast could play and leaned slightly on his work table, covered in flour and smoke. He heaved a large sigh, turned on some movie scores, and returned to work.

Chapter Text

The seasons bled away, summer slowly melting into fall which blew away on a chilly winter wind. It had been about three months since Adrien Agreste’s death and give or take two months since the birth of the Adrien Project.

At that current point in time, Chat Noir was sitting in the back of the Dupain-Cheng bakery with Marinette. He was keeping her company while she did her nightly chore of locking up the bakery and making sure everything was well organised for when her mother and father came down to work early in the morning. Usually, he would help but Marinette had insisted he sit and rest after the busy day he had doing tasks for the Adrien Project. The room smelled like cinnamon and chocolate which was not unusual for the bakery but with Christmas being less than a week away, it seemed to have intensified.

Chat had gotten used to spending a lot of his time at the bakery. The food was great but the company was even better. The Dupain-Chengs were balms for his scarred soul after everything that had transpired over the last 5 years of his life. It was not unusual for the Dupain-Chengs to come upstairs to find Chat Noir was already, or for them to set a part of their dinner table up for him.

Chat really liked it. It felt nice to be part of something, to be wanted and included. Being away from his father and allowing himself to flourish under the watchful eyes of people who cared about him was doing wonders from his self-esteem.

True, not everything had been solved. He still woke up in the middle of the night from nightmares of his father discovering his identity or a world where he had actually done the thing he had told the entire world he had done but he had a friend on the other side of all the pain, willing to help him through it.

Spending time with Marinette had become one of the best parts of his existence. He could tell she still struggled with Adrien’s death but was doing much better than she had been at the beginning of it all. The bags under her eyes seemed to become a permanent feature, but they never got any deeper. The light was slowly returning to her eyes and she had begun to allow herself to start doing and feeling things other than missing Adrien. She had also managed to become his best friend throughout this whole ordeal. Her immediate comfort and understanding were everything he could ever need. She was also a great help with anything he needed to accomplish with the Adrien Project, having a more behind-the-scenes role than either he or Alya but important nonetheless.

Marinette was telling him about her day and school and the tasks that Alya had her running around doing to help with the Adrien Project. There was a tone of fond exasperation as she referred to her best friend’s obsession with the task.

“I love her,” the blue-haired girl stated, “but the girl needs to chill. The Project basically runs itself at this point and with all the endorsements she’s had and the people she hired to help she does not need to be running herself–or me–ragged with her perfectionism.”

“And this is coming from you? Another serial perfectionist,” Chat jokingly pointed out before taking a sip of the hot chocolate she had made for him. It tasted like all the hugs and kisses he never had growing up.

Marinette threw him a reproachful look over her shoulder from the step stool she was standing on in order to organise the sugar shelf after refilling the tubs. “The point here is to listen to me vent, tomcat.” Marinette was still looking at him as she scolded him so he saw the misstep she was going to make before her and was already standing by the time a yelp of surprise left her mouth.

Chat moved as fast as his reflexes would permit him and caught her just as the stool tipped over from under her. Her eyes were screwed shut and her mouth formed a grimace, anticipating the pain of a fall. He couldn’t help but chuckle looking at her. Marinette had a way of being effortlessly adorable.

She opened her eyes slowly and his warm smile was the first thing she saw when her eyes focused. “You okay, Nettie?”

She looked at him, mouth tipped slightly open. He helped her slowly get back into a standing position as she collected herself. He knew she wasn’t hurt but he still allowed himself a cursory glance over her person just in case. Chat furrowed his brows at her when he noticed it was taking her a while to answer him.

“Oh, um, yeah. I-I’m fine. It’s just… No one’s called me that since Adrien.” She said his name in a whisper. Chat just smiled and pulled her into a hug. She sighed and wrapped her arms around him, her warm breath tickling his neck. “I think your hugs are my most favourite thing in the world.”

He held her tighter. With a hint of mischief hint his voice he asked her, “Oh, really? What do love most about them, Princess? The way my big, strong arms keep all the problems of the world away, the comfort of my manly chest, the strength in my broad shoulders.”

She tapped him on the back but didn’t move. “Tone it down, Johnny Bravo.” Chat barked a laugh. “But seriously,” she continued, “your hugs just have so much love in them–they feel like the safest place in the world.”

“Yours do too,” he offered his honesty in response. And then they just stood there for a while.

It wasn’t long before Sabine came downstairs to tell them dinner was ready, just to find them in the same embrace. She smiled. “Am I interrupting something?” she questioned playfully.

Marinette and Chat let go of each other with startling efficiency and turned an impressive shade of red. “Mom!” Marinette whined.

Sabine stifled a laugh/ “What? I’m sorry! I just came down to tell you two dinner was ready.”

Marinette looked at her mother with annoyance. “Okay, mom, we get it.”

“So fussy. Okay, I’ll leave you two alone. Take your time.” She turned and walked back to the apartment, her cackles still echoing in the ears of the teens.

“ God! ” Marinette whispered in frustration.

Chat chose not to comment on the situation. “So should we go upstairs?”

“Preferably before my mom gets any more crazy ideas,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

“Well, then after you.”

Marinette’s parents were already sitting down when he and Marinette joined them at the table. Marinette’s father was practically vibrating and Marinette looked like she was ready to go to bed without her dinner but sat down anyway. 

Her parents filled the evening with idle chatter skirting around the tension at the table. At this point, the two teens were less annoyed and more exasperated. As her parents talked about some interesting tourists who had been here on their honeymoon Chat and Marinette looked at each other with absolute shock. It was no surprise Marinette’s parents shipped them but to imply marriage was insane. They continued to shovel food into their mouths and pretend that her parents weren’t building a castle of fantasies. Chat didn’t really mind them as much as Marinette did. Her parents were harmless and obviously, all they wanted was her happiness and for some odd reason, they seemed to believe he had some sort of key to that.

Despite the awkward atmosphere caused by her parents' conversation and the moment had walked in on, dinner was a pleasurable affair and was over too soon. They capped the night with a cup of tea and it was then that Sabine posed a question: “Chat, would you like to join us for Christmas.”

“R-really?” Chat was shocked. He knew Christmas was quickly approaching but he never thought about it too hard seeing as he thought he’d have to spend it as a ghost.

Sabine’s eyes softened. “Of course, Chat. No one deserves to be alone for Christmas and,” she smiled sweetly at her husband who was already looking at her with tender love, “you’re practically part of the family.”

Chat didn’t have him to resist. He graciously accepted the offer and Marinette’s excited face told him he had made the right decision.

After dinner, Marinette dragged him upstairs where they spent the rest of the night watching cheesy Netflix movies to get into the spirit of Christmas. Adrien was dead but in the Dupain-Cheng household, cuddling with his best friend and the feeling of warmth and love, he had never felt more alive.

///

It was Christmas Eve in the Dupain-Cheng household and the bakery was closed, meaning it was time for the preparation of the Christmas Tree Croquembouche. Tom usually had Marinette help him with it but she was behind on her Christmas presents so she instructed Chat to help her father in her place. Adrien could think of worse things to do than spend the evening in a warm room making sweets for the next day so he gladly helped out.

Tom passed Chat an apron as they entered the bakery. “Wow, it’s a perfect fit!” Chat said, shocked. 

“It’s one of my first aprons. It was too big for Marinette so she just made her own and it certainly doesn’t fit me anymore,” he supplied with a chuckle. “You may keep it if you’d like.”

Chat smiled wide, an endearing innocence reflected in his eyes. “Really?”

Tom chuckled, “Of course, son. So! Ready to get to work?”

Chat straightened and lifted his hand in a salute, “Sir, yes, sir! Where do we start?”

“It’s all a recipe that’s really quite precise, a sort of secret known to very few. So,” he tapped his nose, “if you’re in the market for professional advice then today might be a lucky day for you. Steam.”

“Steam?”

“Yup. Most people tend to open the oven too early causing their choux to deflate but add a small thing of water into the oven with your choux and they’ll but fluffy without overcooking,” Tom shared proudly. “And though this recipe takes a lot of time to create, every second that you take is gonna pay off in the end.”

“I’m very excited to learn from you,” Chat told him reverently.

Tom shook with laughter, “So it just takes a little patience, a little time, a little perseverance and a little uphill climb. You might not think it's worth it. You might begin to doubt but you can't take any shortcuts. You gotta stick it out. And it's the hard way but it's the right way to bake a choux. My dad used to be a real stickler to the rules when it came to baking and normally I’d shake things up and put my own spin on them but not when it came to choux. You have to be ready to put in the work and make the commitment. So do you think you have what it takes, Mr Hero?”

Chat smiled, “Yes, Chef.”

Tom laughed, “Some people use some recipe they found on google or in a magazine to shorten the time or make alternatives. Well, they can brag about the time they save until they find themselves eating dough instead of choux.”

And with that, Tom and Chat got to work. Tom’s words continued to rattle in Chat’s mind. Adrien had always been an impatient child. When it came to spending hours in his room or the middle of photoshoots and functions he does not want to be in, he always wanted them to be over as soon as possible. Even then, he was currently in a situation he did not want to be in.

Itching with impatience, not knowing what his father’s next move will be, whether he should just forge ahead with his own ideas or turn to Ladybug. Whether he’d be able to be Chat Noir for much longer. He was beginning to miss living, his everyday routines that had previously grated on him and his friends and just being Adrien.

Had he been too impulsive? Had he taken the easy way out? Had he taken that uphill climb in his own life, would things be better?

Chat took that chance as a moment to remind himself to be easier on himself. After all, as Tom said, patience, time perseverance and an uphill climb. Maybe this moment is his uphill climb.

Adrien took his opportunity and pierced through the comfortable silence between them by asking an uncomfortable question.

“Tom,” Chat started.

“Yes, son.”

“You never had that good of a relationship with your dad, either, did you?”

Tom, never looking away from his work, smiled a bitter smile, “No, son.”

“You still turned out as a great man, father and husband though. Must be due to the strength you have,” his voice sounded watery as he complimented the man who had all but taken him in. “I wish I was as strong as you. All I did was run away.”

“Why, Mr Chat, don’t you know I ran away too? I ran until I couldn’t anymore and when I stopped I found that I had stumbled upon Chinatown almost 45 minutes away from home. I walked into the first restaurant I could and there I met the love of my life.” Tom finally finished with his dough and set it in the fridge and gave Chat the job of cleaning up while he rested upon a stool in the bakery. “Son, there’s a right way in everything you do and it’s the way that you choose to live your life. Keep that grit and follow-through. Even when everyone around you thinks you’re crazy, even when everyone around you lets things go and whether you’re prepping for some test or running miles from home. Or trying to be your best for a dad who loves control. You do the hard thing because that’s the right thing. Yes. That’s the right thing.”

“Marinette’s very lucky to have a father like you,” Chat said admiringly.

“And I am very lucky to have a daughter like her.”

Chat smiled, “You really adore her.”

Tom laughed, “And you do, too.” Chat blushed. Tom patted his shoulder in good humour. “You do the hard thing. Because that’s the right way to bake choux.”

Chat and Tom continued to bake as understanding companions. Chat had felt prouder of himself than he ever had when their croquembouche Christmas tree was completed and took dozens of pictures that he later showed Marinette as they watched Christmas eve crossover into Christmas day.

Chapter Text

Christmas went past in a blur of hot chocolate, warm laughs and fairy light. Chat’s holiday with Marinette was a balm on his cracking soul as the truth of all his secrets had begun to slowly break him. After his conversation with Tom, he figured that despite his mistakes he had the opportunity to fix them. His father hadn’t retaliated since he sent the note so he was just enjoying the peace.

Currently, he was sitting on Marinette’s balcony with her and a bottle of mulled wine he had bought on his way over. He also got a bottle for her parents which they were drinking while watching the special New Years' Eve broadcast. It was late at night and Paris was alive and full of cheer, waiting for fireworks to ring in the new year.

“You know, this is the first year since I met him where I haven’t spent my New Years' Eve panicking and pining on how am I going to get a chance to kiss Adrien for New Year,” Marinette confessed softly. She talked about him a lot more in the past week but also he knew that holidays had a way of making you miss lost ones no matter how long since they had left. His heart beat a little harder at the thought that for five years the potential to kiss Marinette had just been hanging, bottled and fizzy like the sweetest type of champagne.

“You should have done it. There’s no way he could have rejected you,” Chat told her sincerely. I really couldn’t. Marinette just took a sip of her wine in response. She had that look on her face, the one that confessed she had many things running through her mind at that time.

“How was your Secret Santa with Ladybug? You never told me what she got you. It’s been a busy week.” And it had been. On Christmas Eve, Chat and Ladybug had done a gift exchange, hung out for a few hours after opening their gifts together and then left for a goodnight’s rest. Then it was Christmas day with Marinette and her parents followed by many events for the Adrien Project in the coming days. This was the first time they had time alone in almost three days, something he had been painfully missing.

Chat smiled as he thought of what Ladybug had gotten him. She had bought him a ladybug and Chat Noir throw from one of those cheesy online merchandise shows. She probably figured out that he got cold in the safe house. “She got me understanding, empathy and love. And a cute and warm blanket,” he added cheekily. “You know, we haven’t had the chance to exchange our gifts yet since things got so busy.”

Marinette gasped. “Oh my gosh, you’re right! How could I forget? It’s like I never spent the past few weeks worrying about this gift.”

She unfolded herself from her mountain of blankets and made her to her trapdoor. Chat chuckled and pulled her present out of the bag he had brought with him as she disappeared into her room. He didn’t get anything extravagant knowing that she would not like it if he spent too much money.

She finally made her way upstairs with a box and a few party horns. “My parents told me there are only about 15 minutes before New Year so I just brought these up with me.” She handed him one and sat down in her chair, wrapping herself in blankets once again. She looked like an adorable burrito – all bundled up, pink-cheeked and bright-eyed.

Chat handed her the gift. He hoped she liked it. Marinette peeled the pastel pink wrapping paper with gusto. “I love presents so much,” she whispered. He knew. She was also so excited to open her presents whenever she had birthday parties in her class. He also knew how much she adored Christmas because she got to give away presents, which she loved even more than opening them. Her smile grew wider as she took in the pink diary, highlighters and pens all in the same theme. Marinette had an obsession with collecting beautiful stationery so it was the perfect gift for her. “Thank you so much,” she expressed. It came out of her like a prayer and left him feeling all soft inside. The soft smile she gave him pulled a much dorkier-looking one from him.

“You’re welcome, Marinette.” 

The excitement in her eyes returned as she remembered it was not his turn and handed him the cardboard box. He jiggled the heavy box a bit before pulling at the wrapping paper. He pulled the tab on the box and a thick book slipped into his hands, only for him to discover it was a scrapbook.

Inside it was pictures of him and Ladybug over the years. Some of them were collected from the Ladyblog but also a lot from intimate moments and patrols that had only been shared between him and his Lady. Marinette must have worked with Ladybug to get the pictures. There were also kind letters and words from all sources thanking and appreciating him for his hard work.

He flipped through the book, eyes welling with tears with each page turned. He had gone through the entire book carefully. He took in all the doodles, stickers and glitter Marinette had added to the pages. The whole this was filled with her time and emotion.

Right at the end was a note for him from her.

‘I don’t need you to sell me on reasons to love you. I don’t need you to search for the proof that I should. You don’t have to convince me. You don’t have to be scared you’re not enough. What we got going is good.

You’re my best friend, Chat. I don’t believe there’s anyone I have cared for or loved as much as you. These past few months have been filled with pain I couldn’t imagine because you were suffering and I didn’t know and I couldn’t be there for you. It's so hard for me to imagine what could have happened to Adrien could have happened to you as well. 

Losing Adrien hurt. But losing you would have felt like losing half of me, I would have never been able to recover and just the truth of all of that and coming to terms with it made me realise something else.

I’m so in love with you that it hurts. I don’t ever want it to be too late for us. I want us to have forever together even if it’s only us. 

I don’t need you to fix me or fix what happened. I just need you to be you. I just need you to be you with me because you’re everything I never knew I needed. And you deserve to know. You deserve to know how I feel about you and you deserve to know that the entire world feels the same way.

Lovingly,

Your Lady, Princess and Bugaboo’

He was thoroughly crying by then. “Marinette, I– I’m no good. I’m just going to hurt you and–” he was sobbing.

Marinette cleared the space between them and settled on her knees in front of his chair. She lowered the scrapbook, took his hands in hers and looked him in the eye. “Chat, everything that happened before. We can’t ignore it that’s true but acknowledging it and loving you with everything that has happened is a choice I am happily making. Clear the slate and start over, try to quiet the voices in your head, Chaton. We can’t compete with all that,” she mused. “You and me against the world. What came before won’t count anymore or matter, can we try that?”

“But Marinette,” he pleaded. “I never thought someone like you would ever want someone as messy as me.”

“Chaton,” she whispered.

“I don’t want to disappoint you. But if you really see me, if you like me for me and nothing else then I’m not going to let you go. I’ve been waiting for this moment for my whole life,” he confessed. “I love you, Marinette. I love you so, so much. So it can be us and what came before won’t matter. We can try that.”

She smiled at him and raised herself to kiss him. Chat put his hand on the back of her neck, pulling her closer and inviting her onto his lap. As she made herself comfortable, and their kiss got deeper, Chat heard the faint popping of fireworks welcoming the new year. Marinette released a soft breath as his other arms wrapped around her waist and the world fell away and collapsed into this one moment where Marinette was holding him and loving him and kissing him. And he was the son of the gun who didn’t deserve it but would take what she could give.

She slowly pulled away from him, the honey of her sweet on his lips. “Chat, I have something to tell you.” She swallowed a large amount of air. Looking into her eyes, he saw a large amount of vulnerability. It was so reminiscent of the night she told him about her feelings for Adrien. “I can’t hide this from you if we’re going to be anything more than just friends.” She placed a hand on his jaw, soft and cold. “I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while but nothing has spurred me on as much as this moment. I want to tell you that… I’m Ladybug.”

The air left Chat Noir’s lungs. The final line of her letter finally returned to him. His Lady? His Princess? Her? 

The last of the fireworks were still popping in the background but everything was hazy and out of focus. All he could see were her eyes. They still shone with the sparkle of tears and relief. She had completely laid herself bare.

At this moment, right here, right now, Chat Noir had seen more of Marinette than anyone else in the world. He revelled in the honour of being the one to know everything there was about him and crumbled in the guilt of not being able to return the favour. He held her tighter. Was this the moment? Was this the time to follow in her lead and tell him everything? His lie was unravelling. He knew it. Could he keep allowing her to love him and trust him like this, knowing what he was hiding?

“You’re the most precious thing in my life,” was the only thing that slipped out of his mouth at that moment. She smiled and kissed him again. Sugar-sweet honey melted on his tongue again.

And Chat Noir was warm and loved.

Warm and loved. Filled with wine, a Dupain-Cheng dinner and Marinette, they spent the night together. And Chat Noir fell asleep with his guard down.