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"How long have you been awake?" I asked, seeing the back of Sirius' curly head, his shadow long from the fire burning in the fireplace. I could see the amber liquid filled in his glass, his long slender fingers gripping on it. I made my way to the man, his grey eyes fixed on the flames, cheekbones even sharper in the firelight. I put a hand gently on his shoulder. He was only wearing a silk shirt, his flesh hot under my hand. He seemed just to notice my presence next to him, his features changing into a handsome smirk, his free hand enveloping my free one to press a kiss on my knuckles.
"Hello, gorgeous," he said, pulling me next to him, sitting straighter to open me enough space. It was a large loveseat that fits but of us tightly; our tights were touching, our sides pressed. He put an arm around my shoulders, pressing me to his chest, "why are you not asleep, darling?"
"Why are you not asleep?" I asked, watching the fire with him, the warmth of his chest and arm making me blush, well, the shapes his fingertips drew on my arm also made me giddy on the inside.
"I asked first," he mused.
"No, I asked first actually, you just didn't hear it," I said, looking at him. He smiled, leaning in to peck my nose. He was drunk, Sirius was always an affectionate man, a flirty man, but he never got this physical sober.
"Sorry, mon ange," he smiled, "I would have been more aware if I knew your pretty face was going to grace me with its presence."
"You are flirt even at 3 am at night, Black?"I asked, resting the side of my head on his shoulder, his nose softly brushed my hair, sucking a deep breath in.
"I am a flirt at any time you are next to me, bébé," he said.
"Are you okay, Sirius?" I asked, "Why are you drinking alone in the crack of a night? Why are you not asleep?"
"Let's play a game, ange," he smiled into my hair, "I give an answer for every answer you give me."
"Alright," I nodded.
"So, darling, why are you not asleep in the crack of a night?"
"I am still not used to it I guess, the peace the not having to worry about war, someone to come and take me, take one of you."
"Losing your family?" he added.
"No," I shook my head, "My family and I were never close, their lose didn't really affect me much, except all the paperwork and legacy things. It is the uneventfulness of it that I cannot get used to. I was born into a war. My first memories are of Death Eaters in our house; my first memories are of Voldemort and being creeped out of him. Then, my adult life also was all about the war, the first half expecting one, second half preparing for one and fighting in one. Now, that Voldemort is defeated, the war is over, everyone is returning to their normal lives, but I never knew a normal."
"Hmm," he nodded, freeing my hair from the bun I put it in before going to bed, "You were ten at the first war?" he asked with a soft voice.
"13 when it ended," I said softly.
"I was 22," he whispered, "Now I'm almost 40, and you just started your 30s, time flies, huh?"
"Why are you not asleep?" I asked softly, not letting him loose himself too much in his mind.
"Nightmares," he admitted, "Losing you, losing Remus, having to watch my other best friend's kid grow without even knowing his father."
"Remus will be alright," I promised him, thinking of the werewolf sleeping upstairs with the cutest baby I have ever seen. Tonks didn't make it, but after a short period of mourning his wife, Remus was now fully focused on his ten-month-old.
"And you?" he asked.
"Except for not knowing what to do with my life now that there is no war to fight, I am alright, just not used to this quietness."
"What did you want to be when you were a chubby-cheeked little lass?" he asked.
"I never was a 'little' lass," I laughed, "I wanted to get out of that house," I admitted. "That dream was fulfilled when I met Bill and Molly adopted me," I smiled.
"I bet you were adorable," he said, "You still are, gorgeous woman, a stunning woman, but you still have your adorable moments, cherie," he smiled.
"What are your plans?" I asked, "Now that you don't have a war to fight in, and a godson to grow, Harry is engaged now, isn't he?"
"He is, they grow too fast," he laughed, "just wait, and in a blink of an eye, little Teddy will be running around with a flustered Remus behind him."
"Remus won't be running, the man's as tall as a tree, his one-step is like five of a normal person," I said, remembering all the missions I attended with him and the times I had to run after him because his legs were my full height.
"He is not that tall; you are just a bit shorter," he smiled, scratching the side of my head just back of my ear, making me purr, "I think I will help him with little Teddy, I don't need to work as my bloody parents did leave me quite a bit, and I used to be an Auror, and even though my name is cleared I am not much wanted in the Ministry. I am old now, too," he sighed.
"You are not old; you feel old, I do too."
"I am almost a decade older than you, amour," he said softly.
"I am not saying you are not, Siri," I said, "but, I know how you feel, because I feel like that, too. I feel like I'm a couple of hundred years old, drained."
"You are staying here, right?" he asked.
"My parents' house is not my favourite place, and I like staying with you, Remus and Teddy. Unless you want me out?"
"I want you here, forever," he murmured. I could feel sleep taking over me, as I buried myself into his chest, his arm around me tightened as his cheek found its place on the top of my head.
***
I woke up to baby babbling and cracked my eye open meeting Remus' golden green eyes, Teddy on his arms, enjoying his father's strength as he bopped the baby in his arms.
"Well, good morning," he said smirking, I still wasn't fully awake, not understanding why he was looking at me like that. And as I moved to get up from my half laying position, I noticed the warmness of a solid form under me, warmth and a heartbeat, and soft breathes hitting my head. Oh, right, Sirius and I fell asleep together last night.
"What time is it?" I asked, untangling from under Sirius' arm and getting up to push the sleeping man into a more comfortable position and covering him with a quilt.
"A bit after seven," Remus said, Teddy as was making grabby arms at me, I smiled at the baby and took him from his father.
"Still no regular hours?" I asked, letting the baby grab at my hair.
"No, but at least we slept about 6 hours, interruptions not included," he said, moving to the kitchen as I followed him to leave Sirius in peace. Teddy was gurgling and making soft baby noises, "What about you two?"
"I couldn't sleep," I said, "and found Sirius awake, we talked a bit, and I think we fell asleep around 4 am."
"Talked only?" he asked, putting the kettle on, as I lifted Teddy up to blow raspberries on his clothed tummy, sending him into giggles.
"Talked only," I said, rolling my eyes at him, "I don't know what to do now, that the war is over. I never had a life where there wasn't a war. I am not sure if I have the ability to survive in peace," I said.
"I always forget you grew up in a Death Eaters' headquarter," he said, breaking some eggs to cook breakfast.
"I grew up in the house where the monster they told children before the sleep lived," I laughed, "I peed in my bed so many nights because I was scared to go to the toilet, afraid I would see Voldemort going there and shit," I said.
"You really have no idea what to do?" he asked, giving me Teddy's bottle as I fed the boy, "Never had a plan other than fighting?"
"I didn't think the war would be over. I didn't think it was possible to have a world where a war was not expected or did not exist. Even if I did, I didn't think I would survive to see it."
"Hmm," he nodded, "You would do a good Auror."
"No," I said laughing, "Remus, I don't like the Ministry more than you do. I know Kingsley is doing a good job, but the people don't change this quickly, and I am sorry but, most of them are brainless idiots who would follow whoever has the power. I don't want that."
"What do you want then?"
"I don't know."
"Maybe you could try dating?"
"I am not the type of a girl men are interested in, Rem," I said softly.
"Why not?" he scuffed.
"Well, for starters, I am twice the size of the regular women."
"Regular women? You are a regular woman, and I can tell you for certain many men would be very willing to date you. Especially the one asleep in the living room."
"Remus," I rolled my eyes at him. He always had this, he shipped Sirius and me and was not shy about saying that out loud.
"You are not the one who has to watch him mop about you when you are not around."
"Avert your eyes then, Lupin," I said, pocking his side, Teddy repeating my move.
"You are setting a bad example for my kid," he said, slapping both of our hands softly.
"I am teaching him how to censor your loudmouth."
"I thought you were pro-freedom of speech," he challenged me.
"I have second thoughts."
***
It was a few days later that Remus left for work at the local bookshop, while Sirius and I, mainly I, babysat Teddy. He just learned how to speed crawl, and the boy was fast. But he also was a sucker for sitting on someone's lap, especially mine, since I was softer and rounder than many. The Muggle TV Sirius bought came handy when we all were tired chasing after the boy. Just like right now, I was sitting with him on my lap as the boy's chubby cheek rested against my chest, mesmerised with the cartoon on the telly. He gave soft chuckles once in every while or gripped my hair to hold on to something.
"Having fun?" Sirius asked, sitting next to me a tray in his hand, with two cups of tea and Teddy's bottle, "The boy has a good taste," he smirked nodding towards Teddy curled into my chest.
"Even in the presence of a toddler, you are a perverted man, Sirius Black," I laughed at him giving Teddy his bottle and taking my teacup from the man.
"Even in the presence of a toddler, you are one of the most sexiest women I have ever seen," he smiled, putting an arm around my shoulders. His fingertips brushed my neck softly.
"You need to get out more often, Siri," I said, "It's clear you haven't seen many women lately."
"Nonsense," he scuffed, "I do go out for my morning walks, and, you are the most beautiful, gorgeous and perfect woman I have ever laid my eyes on."
"Sirius?" I questioned, as he got closer, his chest pressing onto my side, his breathing hitting my neck. The moment I turned my head to him, and my nose hit his. It took him half of a second, his lips pressing onto mine. He tasted minty, he tasted minty and tea leaves. The hand around my shoulders was buried into my hair now. The kiss was short but full of emotions and passion.
"I love you," he whispered, "I have been in love with you for a while now. And it almost made me go crazy. And then you fell asleep in my arms. I fell asleep with you in my arms. I can't do without you anymore. I can't keep it to myself anymore. I need you."
"Sirius, what has gotten into you?" I whispered, fighting with myself to keep my eyes off of his lips. Teddy was still calm as a lamb in my lap, Merlin bless the precious boy.
"You, you and your pretty face and that curvaceous body. All I can think about you, how you smell, how you taste now. And Remus, bastard he is, has been teasing me since he found us asleep. And, I can't hold myself back anymore. I know you are young, and beautiful and bloody perfect all over and I am just an old man with a messed up mind and life, but I love you, and I can't imagine spending the rest of my life without your softness."
"Sirius," I whispered, cupping his face with my free hand, "You are a beautiful man, an amazing man," I said, looking directly into his stormy grey eyes, caressing his cheek with my thumb, "But I am not pretty, I am the fat girl, and you deserve so much more," I said softly.
"Nonsense," he scoffed, resting his forehead on mine, his soft locks brushing my cheek, "You are gorgeous, and it is me who doesn't deserve a strand of your hair. But, I am desperate for your love, for your touch, for your presence next to me."
"Are you serious?"
"You know that I am," he smirked at the lame joke he made, making me give him a smile, "Want to give it a try?" he whispered, pecking my cheek softly.
"I want to," I smiled, pecking his lips softly and turning to Teddy who was cooing the get my attention. Sirius pulled both of us in a hug, pressing small kisses on my temple. Teddy giggled at his actions and dived to smooch the other side of my face leaving wet trails behind.
***
Dating Sirius was exciting. He was an energetic man, a man who had no issues to show his love, verbally or physically. Remus noticed the change in our dynamic immediately and gave me a knowing look.
"How is the bookshop?" I asked one morning, both Sirius and Teddy were asleep, which left Remus and me the adults of the house, alone in the kitchen, enjoying the peaceful morning.
"Amazing actually," he smiled, "Horace wants to sell it to me, he wants to retire."
"And?"
"I am not that financially stable," he said.
"Let's buy it together then," I offered and interrupted him as he was to object, "I am not doing charity. I am offering you to be business partners. You know I have the money, and I like books, and I don't even have a life outside this house. Let's do this, let's buy the bookshop, redecorate it if you feel like it and maybe expand the Muggle literature section?"
"Are you serious?"
"No, that's my boyfriend, you know him," I said, making him glare at me, "Let's buy it, I am an ex-soldier at best and need a peacetime job. And let's be real, who would employ me?"
"You are a brilliant witch," he said.
"In wartime. So are we buying it?"
"I will talk with Horace," he nodded.
***
"Care for a walk, pretty woman?" I heard as someone entered the shop, Sirius.
"Rem?" I asked.
"What?" Sirius protested, "I need to gain permission from Lupin to take my own girlfriend out?"
"It is not permission, it is asking if he is okay with dealing with the shop alone," I said, slapping Sirius' shoulder as he bent down to kiss me softly, "And, we are taking Teddy?" I asked Remus.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"Why not, we will take a walk, he has been with us all day, and he will stall you while you are closing."
"Are you sure you can babysit both?" he asked.
"The big one is pretty attached to me," I smiled, causing Sirius to pinch my side. I moved to place Teddy on his pushchair. As Sirius took place to push it, I kissed Remus' cheek as we left. Teddy was dozed off when we arrived at the park, and Sirius found a nice bench to sit. He pulled me under his arm, pulling me into a deep kiss. I rested a hand on his firm chest, enjoying the beat of his heart against my fingers. He sank his teeth on my lower lip softly as he grabbed a handful of my hip, squeezing the soft flesh, making me moan into his mouth.
"We are in a public space," I whispered, not being able to tear my eyes from his thin lips, "And with a baby."
"You wanted to take the baby," he said, pecking my lips.
"Like you don't enjoy having little Teddy around, love," I laughed, "You love being the uncle."
"I do," he confessed, "but, I also love having you all to myself."
"Hmm," I said, scratching the back of his neck, enjoying the softness of his gorgeous locks, "you cuddle me every night."
"I would cuddle you every second of a day if I could," he said, pressing kisses along my jaw bone.
"What a life would that be," I laughed, "bedridden 24/7."
"Bedridden with me," he winked, sitting back, pulling me to his torso. My cheek flat against his peck, his chin resting on top of my head. His fingers intervened with mine, playing with my shorter, thicker ones. The man had beautiful hands, long, elegant fingers, beautiful veins decorating the back of the hand, elegant but a strong wrist. He pulled my hand to his mouth and kissed the knuckles, rubbing the palm with his thumb.
"How was your day, love?" I asked.
"More fun than your's probably," he laughed, "Sitting all day with Moony and Teddy, reading, changing diapers is surely not the most fun activities."
"It was quite fun, actually. I like books, and your best friend is kind of my best friend, too. And look at Teds, he is a cute angel."
"You are a gorgeous angel, bébé."
"Do you ever stop flirting?"
"I did for 14 years, actually, well 12 was in prison, the after 2 was the years before I met you. Then I couldn't stop, ange. The first time in my life I met a woman who made the whole room lightens the whole room, who makes a man forget all the bad things in the world with just a smile and makes the same man dream very naughty dreams with those curves of your plump body."
"Stop," I said, feeling my face heating at his remarks.
"Well, I don't see you stopping being gorgeous, do I?"
"You are too good. What am I going to do with you?"
"Love me?"
"You know that I do," I whispered, leaning up to kiss him, he met me halfway, warm lips covering mine, tongue slipping into my mouth, caressing the roof of it. His hand moved to my neck, grasping the back of it, holding me in place, kissing me like a thirsty man, and I was a bloody water fountain.
"Fuck, belle, I love you."
"I love you, too."
***
I was drunk, well at least I was tipsy, I definitely wasn't sober. The wine tasting was not a good idea, and now Sirius was leading me to his bedroom.
"I want you to fuck me," I slurred, making the man chuckle.
"I would love to fuck you, darling," he said, "but, I would have to take that offer later. Our first time is not going to be when you are this drunk."
"I am not drunk, I am tipsy," I protested, widening my legs, inviting him.
"You are a horny drunk, which is making our relationship very difficult," he smiled, kissing my bare knee, taking off my shoes and socks.
"Why?"
"Because darling," he said, changing me into my sleeping dress, "We can't have sex when you can't decide what is yes and what is no."
"But I love you," I moaned, enjoying how he tucked me into the bed and started changing himself. Nudity wasn't an issue for us; sharing bed meant changing in front of each other usually. But sex was a step we haven't taken yet.
"I love you, too," he smiled, getting into a band t-shirt, putting his long hair in a bun.
"Then why won't you fuck me?" I sassed, "I know I am not pretty, but..."
"You are pretty, you are beautiful, and you are gorgeous. And, darling, you are, trust me, very shaggable. But, you are also very drunk, which means you can't give me your consent. Think of it this way, you little drunk, don't you want to remember our first time?"
"I do," I nodded.
"Then, let's make a deal, bébé, if you still want me to fuck you in the morning, I will make sure you won't be able to leave this bed tomorrow all day. Deal?"
"Deal," I nodded, and he kissed the tip of my nose to seal the deal.
***
In the morning, I woke up buried into the handsome man. His legs tangled with mine, arms tight around my soft body, face buried in my hair. I was clinging onto him like a koala, and Merlin was the man firm and warm.
"Hello, there," he whispered, shuffling back a little, facing me.
"Morning, how much trouble was I yesterday?"
"You could never be trouble," he smiled, then his smile grew into a smirk, "but, you were quite insistent for me to fuck you."
"Bloody hell," I said, burying my face in his chest to hide my embarrassment.
"Hmm, and we made a deal," he whispered.
"What deal?"
"If you still wanted me to fuck you this morning, I would make sure you won't be able to leave this bed today."
"Did I really say that?" I whispered, he chuckled, his hand travelling down to my hips. He squeezed me softly, his thumbs digging into my hips to find the hip bones hiding in the plumb flesh, to rub them softly.
"You did," he mumbled into my hair, "You were pretty insistent too, belle. I always thought of you to be a happy drunk, or maybe a giggly drunk. But a horny drunk? That was a surprise, darling."
"I am not a horny drunk," I said.
"That is not what I saw last night."
"I am an honest drunk. I blurt everything out that I have in my mind."
"Oh," he said.
"Yeah."
"You really wanted to have sex," he whispered.
"I did. I do. But, you have no idea how more attractive it makes you that you were thoughtful enough to not touch me while I was drunk off my ask."
"I wouldn't take advantage. I couldn't break your trust like that, love."
"Hmm, not many are as decent of a human being as you are," I whispered, leaning to kiss him before he could say anything else. His arms found their way around me; his hands travelled across my back, grabbing my bum.
"Fuck, you are beautiful," he whispered, between kisses, dropping one on my nose.
"Sirius," I whispered, not trusting my voice.
"Yes, ma belle?"
"I really, really want you to fuck me, right now," I whispered. Earning a handsome smirk from the man as he pushed me to lay on my back, leaning over me to kiss he harder.
"I really, really would love to fuck you, amour." I couldn't wait any longer, pushing his t-shirt over his head, leaving him shirtless, his firm pale torso, covered with various tattoos in the display. I traced a few of them with my fingertips, enjoying the smoothness and warmth of his skin. But I lost my visuals, the moment he pressed his lips to mine, his hand making its way into my dress, caressing my bare thighs, teasing the band of my knickers and moving upwards to cup my belly, squeezing it gently, brushing the downside of my tits, teasing the nipples. After battling with the fabric of the dress a few times, he pulled it over my head, leaving me only in my knickers under him. I was feeling self-conscious but his lustful gaze moving across my body, and his hands eager to touch, caress and squeeze, almost made that feeling disappear.
"Fuck, you are gorgeous," he whispered, his eyes focused on my tits.
"You don't have to lie," I whispered. I knew I wasn't as firm and smooth as many women. I was soft and saggy in some parts. My tits didn't perk as they hung heavily, my tummy wasn't flat, it was covered with rolls and stretch marks, my thighs were thick and graced with cellulite at some parts.
"I don't think I am capable of lying right now, darling," he whispered, looking directly into my eyes, his breath caressing my lips, "You are beautiful, you are gorgeous, you are goddamn breathtaking," he whispered, kissing my neck at every phrase.
"You are breathtaking," I whispered, cupping his neck to pull him to myself for a kiss, he moaned the moment his bare chest touched my bare tits, his hand firm around the curve of my waist.
"Allow me to make you feel good, darling," he murmured, his lips moving lower, kissing every inch of skin that was in his way, "May I?" he whispered, hooking his wingers on the waistband of my knickers. All I could do was nod, and they were off, and in seconds his lips met my lower ones, taking a long lick from my entrance to my clit. After teasing my lips for a while, he solely focused on my clit, teasing it, biting it, licking it, sucking on it. One of his hand reaching up, to squeeze my tit, play with my nipple, as the other hand was tight on my hip, pressing me down, restricting my movements. Not helping much when my hips were moving on their own accord, he let go of my tit suddenly, and suddenly two fingers entered me.
"Sirius," I moaned, gripping his messy locks, pressing himself into my core.
"Just like that, darling, cum on my face," he whispered, and with one last lick, I was done, my whole body shaking, my vision blurry. I felt Sirius leaving small kisses across my inner thighs when I calmed down.
"Good?" he asked, kissing just above my belly button.
"What the hell did you do to me, Black?"
"I promised you a good time, didn't I?" he smiled, moving towards me, letting me taste on his lips.
"You deserve a good time, too," I whispered, very aware of his boner resting against my belly.
"I am having a good time," he said, kissing my pulse point, "You cannot imagine how many times I imagined doing exactly that, every time those thighs were even a tad bit open."
"You are killing me," I whispered, enjoying his lips on my heated skin.
"I love you," he whispered, kissing me once more, his teeth sinking into my lower one.
"I love you, too," I whispered, cupping his handsome face in my hands, "now, fuck me."
***
After spending hours in the bed, discovering each others' bodies, enjoying sharing each others' warmth, kissing until we couldn't anymore, changed our relationship. Sirius was more touchy and affectionate. And I couldn't hide how much I enjoyed it. All my life, my romantic encounters were limited and mostly with arseholes. I never had a man like Sirius Black. Gentle, caring, affectionate and loving. Waking up next to him every morning, kissing him the first thing in the morning, inhaling his scent, burying myself in his chest. Merlin, the man was amazing.
"Rem and Teddy?" Sirius asked as he made his way downstairs, his arm finding its way around my tummy, squeezing my side.
"Visiting grandparents," I said, turning my head to kiss him.
"Date night then? You, me and whatever the hell you want to do?"
"What do you want to do?" I asked.
"You, preferably after spoiling you a bit."
"You always spoil me, handsome," I smiled, turning in his arms, chest resting against his sturdy one.
"You deserve everything, all the best," he murmured, diving to meet my lips.
"I am pretty content with what I have," I smiled, caressing his stubble lightly. He pecked my fingertips, making me giggle.
"Such a beautiful woman you are," he said, resting his forehead on mine, "Such a gorgeous woman, all mine."
"All yours, darling," I murmured, enjoying his scent, enjoying his breath fanning my face.
"I love you. And I am yours, just like you are mine. I never could imagine, you know, having someone like you in my arms. All my life, even before Azkaban, I never thought I could have a woman in my life, who would love me, be my side. I am a difficult man, a complicated man, most of the times a depressed man. And here you are, such a beautiful, precious woman, in my arms, in my heart."
"You are a wonderful man, Sirius Black," I said, pressing my lips to his, "You are a beautiful man, inside out. And you are not a difficult or a complicated man. You are the best relationship I have ever had. You are the first relationship where I feel enough, where I feel loved, where I feel amazing. You have your demons, just like I have mine. You fought in two wars in your lifetime, darling, you spend 12 years of your life in prison for a crime you would never commit. I would think something is seriously wrong with you if you weren't having those dark thoughts from some time to time. But we are together, we are healing, and having you by my side makes things better for me. I just hope I can make things better for you."
"You make everything better for me," he whispered, kissing me once more, "You ease all the pain I had and could ever have. You are my happiness, amour, you are the beat of my heart."