Work Text:
“Jamie, sunshine, you’re a big boy, you can do it yourself. Daddy needs to help Al.”
The moment the words were out of his mouth Harry realised that those were exactly the wrong words to say to his already upset and jittery son.
Jamie threw his spoon on the table, jumped from the chair, knocking it to the floor in the process, and rushed out of the kitchen. Still, Harry managed to see tears flowing down his son’s face.
“Jamie!”
But the boy didn’t hear him. Several moments later Harry heard the soft whoosh of uncontrolled, spontaneous magic being discharged. Almost instantaneously, the air inside the house began smelling heavily of ozone. Al squeaked loudly and began to cry, scared by the noises and all the commotion.
Harry raked his fingers nervously through his hair, making it stand on ends. It wasn’t the first time that Jamie used his still mostly dormant magic, but he usually did so when he felt stressed. And lately all his stress was caused by his father.
Harry knew that there was no point in chasing after Jamie right away – the boy always needed a moment to process whatever it was he was feeling, and to calm down. And, honestly, right now he thought he was the last person Jamie wanted to see. Harry sighed and looked around the kitchen. It was a total mess.
Someone with enough of child-rearing experience could reconstruct his whole evening just by looking at things; how Harry attempted to cook dinner with a toddler and a young child seeking, and rivalling for his attention; how Harry attempted to feed Al who didn’t want to be fed even though he was hungry and was crying desperately unable to cope with himself. And now the picture was enhanced by Jamie’s overturned chair and spilled soup.
Handling two children was difficult, but handling them with Severus out for work was even more so. But he promised Severus that he would be fine, they would be fine, and he intended to keep his promise.
Harry looked at the charmed clock that Mrs. Weasley gave them as their wedding present. Two more days, and then Severus would be home and everyone would be happy again.
Harry sighed again and shook his head; there was no time for idle thoughts. He had to sort out all the mess he created.
Stepping over the spilled soup Harry walked to Al’s high chair and picked up the crying baby. Albus’ small arms immediately went around Harry’s neck. Harry didn’t know if he should smile or cry himself. Al was so tiny, so fragile, so soft. Harry loved him so much.
Conjuring a tissue out of the thin air, Harry managed to wipe the worse of the puree from Al’s face. He banished the soiled paper and rubbed Al’s back soothingly. Albus burrowed his tiny wet face into Harry’s neck and Harry squeezed the baby tighter. “It’s alright, bunny, it’s alright. Don’t be scared.”
After some time the squealing and crying stopped. The collar of Harry’s shirt was soaked through now, but he didn’t care; as long as his son felt better Harry would survive anything.
Harry hefted the baby to one side and looked into his red face. Even smeared with snot, tears and the remainder of the puree, it was one of Harry’s favourite sights. Harry conjured another tissue.
Al scrunched his face when Harry tried to wipe the mess, but smiled and giggled when Harry tickled the baby’s cheek with a corner of the soft paper.
“Feeling better?”
Al just looked at Harry shyly and stuffed his fist into his mouth.
“So I thought.”
Harry banished another tissue and gently brushed the damp hair off Al’s face. Even at the ripe age of eighteen months Albus Severus was very particular about his hair. He wouldn’t let anyone cut it, neither with spells nor with scissors.
Despite Severus’ feeble protests, Harry always said that their younger son took not only Severus’ eyes, but also his character. Harry bounced the baby a few times and kissed the soft cheek with a loud smack. Al giggled happily, his previous tears already forgotten.
Harry smoothed Al’s dark locks again; the hair was definitely his. “Let’s go find your brother, shall we?”
Al looked around, then turned his head to the doorway and pointed at it with his tiny finger. “’Aemee.”
“Yes, Jamie is somewhere there. Let’s go find him.”
Harry hoisted Al a bit higher on his hip and went into the hallway. He knew the reason why Jamie stormed away, and his heart ached for his son. Situations like that made Harry feel a shitty parent.
Harry winced. Severus would have his head for thinking like that. Even though Jamie was already four and a half, he was still Harry’s baby. When Al was born, Jamie was practically a baby himself. He loved his baby brother dearly, but he was taking it hard that his fathers’ attention and affection weren’t solely his anymore.
The magic that enabled Harry and Severus to have children in the first place, required that the parent who carried the child spend as much time as possible with that child during the first year, to settle the child’s emerging magic.
Harry and Severus tried their best to accommodate this demand and to balance their time between their two sons. But still Harry felt as if Jamie was getting further and further away from him, as Severus was mostly the one to take care of Jamie for the last half a year.
Harry wanted his son’s affection back, desperately. But he had no idea how to get it back.
Harry looked into the nursery first. The candles were burning, the rows upon rows of toys were softly rustling, creaking and whispering, but Jamie wasn’t there. Harry looked down at Al who cuddled into his chest and was holding tightly to the front of Harry’s shirt. “No Jamie.”
“No ‘Aemee.”
Harry kissed the top of Al’s head and went on; bathroom, living room, their bedroom, another bathroom, the small library, kitchen again and even pantry; Jamie was nowhere to be found. The magic seals on the attic trapdoor told Harry that his son wasn’t there. And since the protective spells on all the doors leading outside where intact, there was only one place left where his older son might be.
Severus’ lab.
Harry walked to the short flight of stairs leading to the basement. The door to the small room was ajar. Harry sighed. That was why Jamie used his spontaneous magic – to get into the place where his father spent a lot of his time. That Jamie felt distressed enough to break not only the magical restraints of the protective wards, but also all the rules Severus set about his lab made Harry feel even worse.
Jamie knew he was forbidden to enter this particular room alone, without either of his fathers. Severus usually allowed his sons to be with him while he was brewing; he worked out a set of protective charms to keep them safe from potions fumes, fire and nasty ingredients. He would often show them some funny and flashy things one could do with potions.
Jamie was fascinated with all the stuff in his father’s lab. He even made a potion himself once, under Severus guidance. The small bottle was proudly occupying the very centre of Jamie’s toy shelf. Albus, on the other hand, was quite afraid of the dark and small room stuffed with weird things.
Harry sighed. It was very likely that there wouldn’t be a single unbroken thing inside Severus’ lab now. Jamie couldn’t control his magic well yet. He usually managed to achieve whatever he wanted to do, but not without causing as much havoc as was humanly possible to his surroundings.
Harry felt Al snuggle closer to his chest. Harry hugged the small body tighter and whispered in Al’s ear. “Jamie’s in the Papa’s lab.”
Big dark brown eyes looked at Harry questioningly. Harry kissed Al’s brow lightly. “Jamie.” He pointed to the lab’s door at the end of the stairs.
“Aemee?” Al followed Harry’s hand and frowned. Harry could see tears forming in Al’s eyes. “It’s alright, bunny. Daddy’s here.”
Al turned his head back to look at Harry again. “Aemee.” Al pointed his tiny finger at the lab’s door. Harry smiled reassuringly at his son.
“Yes, let’s go to Jamie.” Harry began to descend the steps. He felt Al’s fists grabbing at his shirt tighter.
With his free hand Harry pushed the door open and stepped into the dark room. Al whimpered lightly. Harry was absolutely sure that his son’s eyes were shut tightly.
There wasn’t much room in the lab. Three walls were lined with shelves holding Severus’ books, ingredients and potions. The remaining wall had the door and the fireplace. Two big heavy tables, draped with soft cloth to prevent dust from gathering on their charmed surface, were occupying the middle of the lab, leaving almost no space to walk around.
Harry saw the feeble yellow light glowing from under one of the tables. He took two steps towards the table. Broken glass crunched under his feet, and then something squelched unpleasantly. Harry hoped that whatever that was it wouldn’t eat through the thin sole of his shoe.
He heard a quiet gasp and a rustle. Jamie tried to cover his light source. Harry smiled sadly into the darkness. He was a shitty parent after all. He loved his sons with all his heart, he would do anything for them, any time; he would die for them, any time, but he had no idea what to say to convey all his feelings.
He wasn’t that scared when he had to face Voldemort. Harry braced himself and knelt slowly, balancing Al on one side and trying not to land in whatever was smeared on the floor. He crouched awkwardly and then sat on the cold stone floor.
He lifted the cloth, looked under the table and his heart broke. Jamie was sitting on the floor huddled near one table leg, hugging his knees. His face was smeared with tears and something dark that Harry dreaded was blood. A small globe of light was hovering several inches from the floor, casting feeble yellow light.
“Hey there.” Harry whispered softly. Al rustled on Harry’s chest and pressed his face to his neck. Harry patted his back lightly, not letting his eyes shift away from Jamie’s face.
Jamie was looking at Harry from under his small furrowed brows. Harry could see a trace of Severus’ trademark scowl in their son’s small face.
Holding Al tightly with one arm, Harry extended his other arm towards Jamie. “Baby, come here.” Jamie’s frown deepened and he hid his face into his knees.
Harry dropped his hand down. He wanted to cry; it was his fault entirely that Jamie was hiding under the lab table now. Severus went to France for a week to read some lectures at the potions academy there, being absolutely sure that his husband and sons would be fine. And Harry messed it all up; he couldn’t balance his time properly between his sons.
Even though the magic bond imposed on him by the pregnancy was already dissolved, with Al being a baby and not able to do things for himself, Harry still had to spend more time with his younger son, sometimes simply to attend to his basic needs. Because of that Jamie felt neglected, forgotten; and eventually he had enough.
But Jamie was also his baby, his precious son, and Harry couldn’t stand seeing him so upset.
“Jamie...”
The boy almost rolled himself into a ball and mumbled something to his knees.
“What was that, sunshine? Daddy couldn’t hear you. Come out from under that ugly table and we will talk, okay?” Harry knew he was pleading but he couldn’t stop, and didn’t want to, really.
Jamie said the words again and this time Harry heard them clearly; and shuddered.
“You don’t need me. Go away.”
Harry did the opposite. He slid closer to the table, bumping his head painfully on the edge of the tabletop. He ignored the pain and the possible bruise.
“Jamie, sunshine, of course I need you. You’re my baby, how could I not need you.” Harry tried to smile, but it was strained. How was it possible to find the right words? He wanted to rip his chest open and let all his love for his son to spill out.
“You have him.” Jamie’s eyes darted to look at Al’s shivering back. Harry squeezed Al’s small body tighter.
“And I have you. And Al has you. And we want you back with us. I want my baby son and Al wants his big brother. Right, Al?” Harry moved his arm slightly, shifting Albus and making him turn a bit to look at his brother. Al’s face was smeared with tears again.
“Aemee.” Albus extended his small arm towards Jamie and moved his tiny hand as if he wanted to grab something. Jamie looked at Al’s hand, then at Harry. His eyes were filling with tears. Tentatively Jamie raised his hand and touched Al’s palm. The tiny hand immediately grabbed Jamie’s fingers. Al was reaching out so far that Harry had to put him to the floor. Al stood unsteadily holding Jamie’s hand and looking back and forth between his father and brother, his eyes full of tears.
Harry was supporting Al with his hand across the boy’s tummy. He opened his other arm again. “Jamie, please come here. I’m so sorry that I upset you. I love you so much.” Harry didn’t hope that these words would make any difference. He wasn’t sure if Jamie understood why his father was apologising.
But with a heartfelt sob Jamie scrambled out of his place and almost leapt into Harry’s embrace. Immediately Harry squeezed his son tightly, burying his face in the messy dark locks. Jamie hugged Harry’s neck and began crying pitifully.
Al looked at his brother for a second and followed his example – he wailed and turned to press his face to Harry’s chest.
Harry shifted to sit cross-legged on the cold stone floor and hugged his sons tightly. He rocked them gently back and forth, allowing them to cry out the stress and the anguish. He was kissing their messy heads one by one, whispering some silly nonsense none of them heard.
They were huddled into a cosy heap under Severus’ table. The boys climbed into Harry’s lap mirroring each other – Al’s left hand was on Harry’s neck and his right hand twisting Harry’s shirt, while Jamie’s right hand was around Harry’s neck and his left grabbing at Harry’s shirt. Their crying gradually subsided first to quiet sobs and then to occasional hiccups.
Harry was still mumbling some nonsense to his children. “My boys, my precious boys.” He kissed their foreheads. Al giggled through hiccups, and Jamie blushed shyly. “Daddy’s here. Daddy might be stupid but he won’t let anything bad happen to you.”
“Daddy, you’re not stupid.” Jamie patted Harry’s cheek with his sticky hand.
“No?” Harry smiled, actually quite stupidly at Jamie.
“No, you’re just...” Jamie waved his hand in the air awkwardly and then blushed again.
Harry laughed and kissed Jamie’s forehead. Al laughed too.
“Aemee.” He extended his hand to his brother again.
Jamie took it into his and squeezed lightly. “Al.” He shook his brother’s hand gently. Al smiled broadly, flashing a few yet missing teeth.
Harry wordlessly guided Jamie’s light globe from under the table and gradually increased its size and brightness. It hovered over the table flooding the lab with the gentle warm light. Harry saw that the crushed slimy thing on the floor was a something looking like a flobberworm, but probably wasn’t it, as Severus never stored those ugly creatures separately in the cut-crystal tubes. Well, whatever it was Harry would buy Severus a dozen of those if they were so important.
Harry also saw that Jamie’s face was indeed smeared with blood, the source of which was a tiny, already crusted, cut on the boy’s cheek. Probably a shard of glass got him when one of the tubes broke.
The boys followed the globe’s movement with fascination. Harry saw several more broken tubes and overturned boxes. Jamie saw them too, and got anxious. He turned to look at Harry.
“Papa will be angry.” It wasn’t a question. Jamie knew he broke the rules Severus set for him.
Harry squeezed him tightly and kissed his forehead again. “Maybe a bit. But I’ll tell him it wasn’t your fault; that he should be angry with me.”
“But you didn’t break all those things, I did.” Jamie was visibly upset. He was afraid that Severus would be disappointed in him.
“You didn’t do it on purpose, it happened because I upset you. So, it’s not your fault.” Some might say that Harry’s logic was flawed but he would do anything to protect Jamie, even from Severus’ anger, which he supposed wouldn’t be that great after all. Severus loved their sons as much as Harry.
“Jamie, don’t mind those broken things. Look at the globe that you created.” Harry decided to switch his son’s attention to something nicer. Jamie smiled shyly.
The globe indeed was nice; even with Harry’s minor adjustments it still kept the shape and the hue Jamie thought of. The light it gave away was very warm and calming. Harry suspected that Jamie created exactly what he needed at the time of his distress.
Harry looked at the fire place and it roared to life. The room immediately felt warmer. The boys snuggled to Harry’s chest; Jamie was following the light globe with his eyes, and Al was looking around drowsily; it was well past the time he was usually put to bed.
They were sitting like that for a while when they heard brisk steps overhead, moving from one room to another. Harry looked up in astonishment, as if he could see his husband through the ceiling. Severus was home two days earlier.
In a moment Severus’ quick steps descended the stairs to the basement and he burst into the lab. “What’s going on here?” His voice was more worried than angry.
Jamie immediately tensed in Harry’s lap. “It’s okay, he’s not really angry”, Harry whispered into Jamie’s ear.
Severus didn’t seem to notice them at first. He looked around in alarm. Then he saw Harry’s legs sticking out from under the table and walked to them, astonishment and worry all over his face. He knelt on the floor not knowing what to do first; he wasn’t that good with the emotional things.
Al was shaken from his stupor by Severus’ sudden appearance. “Pa.” He raised his hand to Severus.
“What happened here?” Severus took in the boys’ tear-smeared faces and the blood on Jamie’s face. Not knowing what to do first, he reached an unsteady hand to touch the first thing that caught his attention - the bruise on Harry’s forehead where he bumped it on the table.
With a worried frown Severus quickly looked over Harry and two boys in his arms. Severus’ other hand hovered over Harry’s left knee – the trouser leg was torn and smeared with blood as well; a tiny piece of glass was sticking from the cut. Harry looked at his leg, perplexed; he didn’t even feel that.
“Daddy, you’re hurt.” Jamie was on the verge of crying again.
“It’s nothing, baby. Don’t worry.” Harry darted his eyes to look at Severus’ anxious face. “Papa will fix Daddy in a second.” With a barely noticeable shift of his eyebrow Harry indicated what Severus should do to prevent another hysterical outburst of child-crying.
Exhaling loudly, Severus nodded lightly. Finally having something practical and familiar to do, he collected himself and summoned a couple of bottles from the shelves. He extracted the glass from Harry’s knee with a careful movement of his wand. He uncorked one of the bottles and applied the herb-scented antiseptic to the small wound. Harry winced involuntarily when it began to sting, and Jamie gasped.
“It’s okay, baby. It doesn’t really hurt.” Harry tried to stay still and keep smiling for his son’s sake; the cut was deeper than he thought.
He felt Severus’ fingers smearing the healing salve over the wound. “Look, it’s already gone.” Jamie watched with fascination how the skin closed over the cut. “See, good as new. Nothing to worry about.” Jamie gulped and nodded, still not quite convinced.
With a snap of his fingers Severus repaired Harry’s torn trousers and leaned back heavily on the book-shelf.
“What in Merlin’s name happened here?” Severus whispered the same question for the third time, unable to say anything else.
Al wiggled himself out of Harry’s arms, stood up and took two wobbly steps towards his father. “Pa.” He almost fell face first onto the floor, but Severus caught him and snuggled him to his chest.
Harry smiled nervously at his husband. “We had a small situation.”
“A small situation?” Severus’ voice was strained. Al looked up and grabbed a lock of Severus’ hair with his small fist. “The house is upside down, reeking of ozone and uncontrolled magic”, Jamie hiccupped at these words, but Severus continued without noticing this, “the three of you are crouched under the table in the basement, two of you are covered in blood. I fear to imagine what ‘a big situation’ would look like.”
Harry thought that Severus was exaggerating quite a bit, but the man was genuinely worried. “A slight misunderstanding due to everyone being tired and missing their Papa”, Harry tried for a cheerful tone.
Severus raised an eyebrow at him. Harry sighed. Even after all their years together and two kids, this expression on Severus’ face made Harry feel like a naughty schoolboy.
Jamie fumbled into Harry’s arms and turned to face Severus. He was still a bit afraid to look his father in the face, not completely sure that Severus wasn’t very angry. “I’m sorry, Papa. I broke into your lab, and...” Jamie’s voice faltered. With his eyes full of tears he looked around the destroyed lab.
Severus shook his head lightly. “Don’t worry, sunshine. It’s alright.” Severus understood that now wasn’t the time to demand an explanation for his actions from their upset son. He would talk to Harry later, when everyone calmed down.
Thinking no one would notice what he was doing, Al began to chew the strand of Severus’ hair. Severus gently took the hair from his son’s hand and kissed the tiny palm. Severus kissed the top of Al’s head and hugged him tighter. All the while his eyes didn’t leave Harry’s face. Harry sighed again; there was no way he could get out of explaining everything. He didn’t want to tell all the details right now, but he had to give Severus at least something.
Harry raked his hair with his fingers. “I’m sorry.” He rubbed his face with one hand. “I messed up. I thought I could do it alone, but...” Harry laughed nervously. “I couldn’t, not without you.”
Harry looked sadly at his sons, at their anxious and tear-streaked faces. “I’m sorry.” Harry repeated in a whisper.
Jamie began sobbing again. Harry wiped the tears from his face with his thumb and squeezed his son tighter.
Shifting Al to the other side, Severus reached his hand to cup Harry’s face. “Whatever happened, I’m sure it wasn’t your fault.”
Harry pressed his cheek to Severus’ warm palm and shook his head slightly. “I upset the boys, I made you worry; and the house is a total mess.”
Then Harry realised something and gasped. “And I probably made you leave your work earlier that you intended.” Harry blushed. “Severus, did you leave France because of this?” Harry looked around the destroyed lab pointedly.
Severus nodded imperceptibly. “This thing flared like mad an hour ago, right in the middle of the staff conference”. Severus raised his left hand and Harry saw that his bonding ring was still glowing lightly. “I got here as quickly as I could.” He raked a hand through his hair. Severus was still a bit shaken.
Harry took a second to admire how fabulous his husband was. The man barely flinched when confronted by the Dark Lord and all the Aurors of the wizarding world, but the tiniest cut on their son’s cheek could upset his husband and shake his whole world.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Harry just got another thing to feel guilty about. He knew how important Severus’ work was to him. “We’re fine, really.” Harry tried to smile. “You left in the middle of things. You probably need to go back.” He tried not to let the sadness creep into his voice. He was so glad Severus was here. He needed him so much; they all needed him so much.
“No, no one’s going anywhere tonight. You clearly need my presence more than a bunch of elderly French potion-makers.”
Harry smiled, relieved that his husband would be with him. “I’m sorry.” Harry couldn’t stop apologising.
With a gentle smile Severus tipped Harry’s chin up with his fingers. “You don’t have to apologise. It’s been a long week, everyone was tired and on edge. Things happened.” Severus caressed Harry’s cheek with his knuckles, and then looked around. “If anything, I should be blamed as well. I shouldn’t have left you to tend to two young, magically unstable children alone.”
Severus smiled gently at Jamie, who was still pressed to Harry’s side, as if afraid that his father would start scolding him for destroying his lab. But Severus had no intentions of doing so. His sons well-being was far important than all the potions in the world.
Jamie smiled at Severus too, tentatively. “I’m sorry, Papa. I didn’t mean to destroy your things.”
“It’s nothing, sunshine. Don’t worry.” Severus scooted to sit closer to Harry and his son. Jamie looked up at Harry questioningly, and Harry nodded. He let go of his elder son and Jamie climbed into Severus’ lap, hugging his father by the neck. Severus patted Jamie’s back soothingly.
Severus’ arms became quite crowded. With a smile Harry shifted and took Al from his husband’s arms. The boy barely noticed the switch, as he was completely engrossed in trying to tug off one of the shiny silver buttons on Severus’ official robes. Once in Harry’s arms, Al looked around in confusion, then turned and smiled his toothless smile at Harry. “Da!” Harry bounced the boy a few time, and the baby giggled.
Jamie snorted into Severus’ shoulder. Severus crooked a mischievous smile at Harry and mirrored his actions, bouncing Jamie in the same way.
“Papa!” Jamie giggled. “I’m not a baby!”
“Yes, you are. My little baby.” Severus kissed Jamie’s cheek. Then Severus gently swiped the pad of his thumb over the tiny cut on Jamie’s face and it healed itself with the soft brief glow. Jamie rubbed the healed place curiously.
Severus smiled at his older son. “Alright?”
Jamie nodded, and looked at Severus shyly. Severus raised an eyebrow in question. Jamie blushed some more and suddenly lunged at Severus’ neck, burying his small face in Severus’ collar. Severus grunted and almost lost his balance with such a sudden movement. But he managed to keep his balance and hugged Jamie again.
Harry caught Severus’ eyes and smiled. For everyone on the outside Severus was as welcoming as an ice statute, but for them – his family – the man was always there and always ready to provide comfort and care.
Not leaving Severus’ eyes for a second, Harry kissed the top of Al’s head. Severus mirrored Harry’s actions again, and did the same to Jamie. Almost simultaneously, the boys rustled a bit, and burrowed into their fathers’ necks. Harry chuckled. His family was the only thing that really mattered to him.
Jamie rustled some more in Severus’ arms and clearly whispered something in Severus’ ear. Severus’ eyes widened for a second, and then a gentle smile lit up his face. He whispered something back to Jamie, and even though Jamie’s face was still mainly pressed to Severus’ collar, he could see the blush covering his son’s soft cheek.
Harry knew exactly what the words were. It took Severus years to be able to say them to Harry, but it took him seconds to say them to each of their, at that time newborn, sons. And ever since then their austere husband and father never had any difficulties saying those words ever again.
Just to be fair, Harry whispered the same words into Al’s ear. Predictably, the only reply he got was a giggly huff and some fumbling. Even if their baby son couldn’t say anything in return yet, Harry was sure the boy understood the meaning and intention.
Harry could feel Severus’ laughing eyes on them. He looked up at his husband and mouthed the same words to him. Harry loved how even after years of being together and having two children together, Severus’ face still acquired that mildly unbelievable expression every time Harry said the three magic words.
They sat like that for several minutes, enjoying the silence filled with affection and love, and each other’s calming presence. The light globe that Jamie created was hovering over the table, bathing them all in warm yellow light.
Unconsciously, Harry began to gently rock Al in his arms, and Severus’ hand was patting Jamie’s back lightly. Then Severus tried to shift to get more comfortable, as if it was even possible to get comfortable on the stone floor under the table. He winced visibly, as if in pain.
“Cosy as it might be under my working table, I’m too old to sit on the stone floor for prolonged periods of time. I think we should go upstairs and get warm and comfortable there.”
Harry nodded and began the awkward process of extracting himself from under the table without letting go of his son. Severus did the same. Eventually, they managed that acrobatic feat and were standing in the middle of the lab.
Harry looked around and his eyebrows rose. The damage to the lab was more than he originally thought – almost every glass thing in the room was broken, some things were smoking, and Harry was genuinely surprised that there was no fire.
He looked at Severus sideways. There was no way the man wouldn’t see the condition of his working place. As everything in the lab was arranged by his hand, Severus knew better than anyone what was damaged or broken. Harry saw the muscle twitch in Severus’ cheek, but the man didn’t say a word.
Jamie too seemed to notice the extent of the damage caused by his spontaneous magic. He rose up in Severus’ arms to look around. Harry could see his small body tense and his face begin to crinkle, a fresh batch of tears forming in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Papa.” The tears began to flow down Jamie’s cheeks.
With the tips of his fingers Severus swiped the wetness away for his son’s face. “It’s alright, sunshine. Don’t worry. It’s nothing. You didn’t do it on purpose.” Severus brought Jamie’s tousled head to his shoulder again. “We’ll clean it up together. You could help me sort the ingredients and the potions. Will you like that?”
Jamie slumped in Severus’ arms and nodded, smearing Severus’ robes with his tears. “Good.” Severus kissed the top of Jamie’s head. “Let’s get out of here.”
They slowly made their way upstairs, to the brightly lit rooms and corridors of their cosy house. Once they entered the place where all the drama started – the kitchen – Harry groaned. The mess was still there, and someone had to clean it, with this someone being him. It would be unfair to let Severus deal with all the chaos Harry created. Sometimes Harry regretted their decision not to have an elf.
Severus noticed Harry’s comically pained expression. “Don’t worry, we’ll deal with it tomorrow.” Harry looked at his husband apologetically.
Severus smirked. “Right now we have some piggies that need washing.” He looked pointedly at the boys in their arms; and then at Harry.
Harry followed the course of Severus’ gaze and almost laughed. He didn’t notice it in the dim light of the lab, but Jamie, Al and he were smeared to their ears in something Harry had no wish to know what it was; it was probably teas, snot, Al’s puree and Jamie’s soup, and some things from Severus’ lab which Harry had no idea how they got onto them and their clothes.
“Right, piggy washing.” Harry hoisted Al’s drowsy body a bit higher. “This piggy is almost asleep, though, so the washing better be quick.” Albus was famous for his ability to fall asleep at the most inconvenient moments; but never when he was supposed to do so.
Severus chuckled, and Jamie giggled. Severus looked at Jamie with a smirk. “You too, young man, has a striking resemblance to a piggy.” Jamie giggled again and hugged Severus’ neck.
Severus sighed inwardly in relief. He didn’t want his son to be scared of him, not because of something as trivial and insubstantial as dried herbs and worms. Were it anyone else, Severus might rage and shout, but his son was everything to him. He would never say it aloud, but even if Jamie destroyed his lab on purpose, he would never scold him as fiercely as might do anyone else.
The following half hour passed in a blur of parenting. Once they all were in Severus and Harry’s bathroom, the bathtub was quickly filled with a flick of Harry’s wand and dirty clothes were quickly dispensed with by a snap of Severus’ fingers.
To speed things up they placed both boys in the tub simultaneously. Harry took to cleaning Al, and Severus got occupied with Jamie, who didn’t need much of assistance, anyway. Albus was so sleepy that he didn’t even demand his bath-time toys, and just looked at Jamie with a confused frown when his older brother tried to play with him by pretending to be a frog.
When the boys seemed sufficiently clean, they swaddled them in soft fluffy towels. Albus immediately fell back asleep on Harry’s shoulder. Jamie ran a circle around the bathroom pretending to be a ghost.
When Harry was about to leave the bathroom, Severus surprised him by taking Al from his arms. “The big piggy also needs some washing.” Severus raked his eyes over Harry’s form with a smirk. Harry caught his reflection in the mirror over the sink and laughed. He was as dirty as the boys had been.
“I’ll put the boys to bed, and you take a shower.” Severus adjusted Al on his shoulder. “This one’s already asleep.”
Harry nodded. He understood what Severus was doing. What Harry needed wasn’t only the shower, but a few minutes alone; to properly calm down and get his bearings back after such an eventful and emotional evening.
Leaning a bit forward, Harry softly kissed Al’s cheek. The boy didn’t even stir. Harry smiled mischievously and then tipped his face up and places a gentle kiss on Severus’ lips. Severus captured Harry’s lips for a few seconds, relishing their sweetness and softness.
Harry felt Jamie bump into his leg, and then heard a soft giggle. Harry parted from Severus’ lips with regret, and looked down, smiling. Jamie was hugging his leg, his bid fluffy towel covering his tousled head.
“What, Mr. Ghost, are you done scaring the rubber ducks?”
Jamie nodded vigorously with a huge grin on his face. Harry leaned down and picked the boy up. He ruffled Jamie’s hair with the towel, more messing it up than drying. “Go with Papa and help him put Al to bed, okay?”
The boy nodded again. Harry kissed his soft cheek and was about to put him back down, when Severus intervened. “Give him to me.” Harry looked at Severus in surprise. The man was holding his arm out and smiling softly.
Holding two boys at the same time was quite a feat, especially since one of them was already completely asleep and relaxed. But Jamie was already scrambling out of Harry’s arms and settling comfortably on Severus’ chest. His arms and legs wrapped around his father and his head rested comfortably on his shoulder. Severus didn’t even stagger when loaded with the additional weight of a four-year-old boy.
Harry smiled. If anyone could do that it was Severus. Harry adjusted Jamie’s towel to keep the boy warm. Jamie smiled at him over Severus’ shoulder.
“Right, let’s go get your brother to bed.” As Severus began slowly walking out of the bathroom with his precious load, Harry’s smile turned positively silly. He adored seeing Severus with their children in his arms.
When the door to the bathroom clicked shut behind Severus, Harry heaved a shuddered sigh. If not for Severus he wouldn’t be able to do any of this. Shaking himself, Harry patted his cheeks to get more focused; now was not the time to get all sentimental and mooning over his husband.
Severus understood Harry better than anyone else. He understood that Harry needed a bit of time alone after such an eventful day. He’d better not waste those rare moments.
Harry quickly discarded his soiled clothes, put his smeared glasses on the bathroom counter and stepped into the shower. The hot spray washed away the day’s worth of soil – and there was a lot of it, what with all the tears, snot, food flying around and crawling on the floor on Severus’ upturned lab. It also washed away Harry anxiety and tension; whatever things were happening from day to day, Harry knew one thing clear – he loved and was loved, by Severus and by his children. Everything else was insignificant shite which wasn’t worth a thought.
Even thought Harry enjoyed his brief respite from parenting and temporary solitude, he was already longing to be with his family. He knew that Severus was perfectly capable of handling their two sons and putting Al to bed, but he couldn’t help it, he wanted to be with them.
With quick precise movements Harry lathered his hair with Severus’ shampoo. Inhaling deeply the familiar scent of pines which constantly accompanied his husband, Harry smiled and tilted his face up into the steady beat of water to wash away the suds.
When he was clean and flushed from the hot water, Harry quickly dried himself and summoned his pyjama and bathrobe. Wiping his fogged glasses on the soft terrycloth of his robe Harry walked out of the bathroom, and into the bedroom.
His heart melted at the sight that greeted him. Severus and Jamie were sitting on their big bed, surrounded by pillows and blankets. Jamie was wearing his dragon-patterned pyjama and was snuggled into Severus’ chest. Jamie was cuddling a battered stuffed puffskein and Severus was reading Jamie’s favourite fairy tales book.
Harry grinned madly and bounded to the bed as if he was five. He tumbled on his side of the bed, making its two occupants bounce slightly. Jamie giggled and Severus looked at Harry with a smirk. Harry smiled at him and grabbed Jamie by the sides, tickling the boy. Jamie giggled harder and tried to retaliate by tickling Harry back. His effort were in vain, though, as his small fingers couldn’t quite press hard enough through two layers of Harry’s thick night clothes.
Severus was looking at his beloved green-eyed dark-haired boys with fondness. Harry might not always think that way, and sometimes Severus needed to remind him about that quite harshly, but Harry was an amazing father.
Harry chose exactly that moment to end his game with Jamie and look up at Severus. Something soppy must have shown on Severus’ face, because Harry’s gaze immediately became filled with tenderness. He smiled back at Severus and silently mouthed the same three words from the dungeons. Severus nodded with a slight blushed.
Jamie looked between them in slight confusion and Harry whispered something in his ear. The boy turned in Harry’s arms and hugged his father tightly by the neck. Harry squeezed his son’s small body tightly and inhaled the scent of his hair. Maybe, everything wasn’t lost yet, maybe, he could still make it up to his son, Harry thought.
After a moment they all settled, snugly and comfortably. Jamie was cuddled between his fathers. The two men knew that the boy was secretly enjoying himself – for now their attention was solely for him. Jamie loved him little brother dearly, but sometimes, only sometimes, he wanted to have their undivided attention, the way he had it before Al was born.
Jamie tugged the book from Severus’ hands and began flipping through the pages trying to find the one they were reading before Harry interrupted them. He could feel his daddy’s hand patting his hair, and he could feel the warmth from Papa’s chest.
Looking over Jamie’s head Harry whispered to Severus. “How’s Al?”
“Sound asleep. Didn’t even stir.”
Harry chuckled. Jamie looked up at him with a proud grin. “I helped Papa put Al to bed.”
“I’m so proud of you. You’re such a good brother.” Harry kissed the top of Jamie’s head.
“Yes.” Jamie was always taking his praises seriously. “I put on his sock, and brought him his bear, and arranged his blanket, and...” Jamie paused trying to remember what else he did, “ah, and kissed him good night.”
“You did a lot of things for your brother.” Harry laughed softly and brushed off Jamie’s untamed fringe from the boy’s face. “But why only one sock? What happened to the other? Is Al sleeping wearing only one sock?”
“No,” Jamie looked at Harry as if he fell on his head. “Papa did the other.”
Harry chuckled and looked at Severus who was also smiling. “Why didn’t you go to bed? Aren’t you tired?”
Jamie shook his head and flipped some more pages of his book. The pictures were moving, re-enacting the events of the story. “I want to finish this story.” Then Jamie looked up at Harry, uncertainly. “Daddy, will you read to me?”
Harry placed another kiss to Jamie’s hair. “Of course I will, sunshine.” He took the book from Jamie and glanced at Severus mischievously. “If Papa doesn’t mind.”
Severus raised his hands in mock surrender. “By all means.”
Jamie wiggled some more, making himself comfortable. When the boy stilled, Severus adjusted the blanket to keep him warm and cosy. Harry began reading the story, picking up from where Severus stopped. For a while only Harry’s soft voice disrupted the quiet of the room.
“... and so the brave Bunny returned home, to his friends and family.” Harry finished the last sentence of the story and closed the book. He looked down at Jamie and smiled. The boy was asleep, his small hand clutching at Harry’s sleeve. Severus was gently carding his fingers through Jamie’s messy hair.
With a wordless spell Harry carefully sent the book flying to the nightstand and shifted to lie on his side. He traced Jamie’s eyebrow with one finger and place a soft kissed on the boy’s forehead. With a wave of his hand Harry doused all the lights in the room. He heard Severus rustling the covers, and then everything was quiet.
In a moment Harry felt Severus’ warm fingers gently curl around his hand. Harry squeezed back. He felt his hand being lifted and tugged, and then a soft kiss landed right in the middle of Harry palm.
“Next time you’re coming with me.” Severus’ voice was a barely heard whisper.
Harry smiled into the darkness. “What, all three of us?”
“Yes. I don’t have enough nerve cells to leave you all unattended.”
Harry blushed, even though no one could see it. “I’m sorry.” He was supposed to be an adult, able to look after himself and his children.
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.” Severus sighed and rubbed Harry hand with his thumb. “You shouldn’t be looking after them alone. It’s not fair.” Severus kissed Harry’s hand again. Harry turned his palm and caressed Severus’ lips with the tips of his fingers.
“They boys will love to travel.” Harry’s whisper got a tad mischievous. “And when they are exhausted and tired and asleep after all the sightseeing, you could teach me French properly.”
“Properly, Mr. Potter?” Severus’ eyes burned with a faraway anticipation which Harry could see even in the darkness of their bedroom.
“Well, yes, it is the language of love, after all.” Harry laced his fingers with Severus’.
“It is, indeed.” Severus rubbed at Harry’s wedding band with his own ring finger. The two rings began to glow with a soft golden light. Jamie fumbled a bit, turning on his back, and then with a contented sigh sprawled as a star-fish, his arms and legs flying to the sides.
Severus chuckled softly and squeezed Harry’s hand tighter. “I don’t think there’s anything more you could learn in this subject matter. You’re already an expert.” His voice got that rough edge it usually had when Severus was falling asleep.
Harry smiled into the darkness and squeezed Severus’ hand. For a long time he lay quietly, not able to sleep, listening to the soft breathing of his husband and son. And though Harry didn’t quite realise that, a silly happy smile wouldn’t leave his face for a long time that night.