Work Text:
Content warnings
Major Character death, Description of Suicide, Depression, Illness,
Hoseok has Star Tear Disease. It’s a bit ironic as he is the sun and the sun is a star. He’s in love with Seokjin, the moon, who is in love with the Earth, Yoongi. Seokjin’s younger brother is Namjoon (Moonchild) and because they are both the Moon and the moonchild is surrounded by stars which are Hoseok’s tears he’s cried over Seokjin.
Namjoon is always around Hoseok and dealing with his broken heart. He knows first hand how difficult star tear disease affects Hoseok. He watches as bright, happy Hoseok crumbles into a dull, sad shell of who he was. However, the smile on his face never faded, Hoseok always smiled. Even while crying, even in immense pain he smiled because he couldn’t let Seokjin see him as anything but happy. He couldn’t admit he was rejected. Namjoon hated seeing the boy he loved weeping over his brother, the brother who although happy with the earth, was making the biggest mistake ever.
Namjoon did his research, he knew that Hoseok falling in love with him wouldn’t cure his disease. Only his brother’s love could. Something Namjoon knew would never be returned in the way Hoseok needed. He would forever be somewhat blind, crying and suffering from memory loss. The number of times Namjoon had been called to come find Hoseok who had gone out but forgot where he was going and where he was. He only knows Namjoon, he only remembers that when he is in need, Namjoon is always there. And so, sobbing over the phone, Hoseok describes his surroundings to Namjoon. Day after day, and the moonchild finds him, curled up on the ground, crying his heart out but smiling the entire time. It hurts Namjoon that even when Hoseok is scared, sad, angry... Hoseok smiles. He cries and smiles. But, at the same time, Namjoon finds Hoseok so beautiful that he wants to keep him that way forever
.
One day, Hoseok gets lost again, calling Namjoon to come and find him. He describes the flower field he had found when he stepped into a park. He mentions he saw an outline of a fountain and that he could smell a coffee cart in the distance. Namjoon knows exactly where he is and races off to find the only thing that keeps him going because he knows somewhere inside, Hoseok does love him back. However, when Namjoon finds Hoseok in the field of flowers, the boy is lying down peacefully in the field, eyes closed, breathing calm, tears staining his cheeks, his beautiful smile present in his lips.
“Hob-ah, I found you, let’s get you home.” Namjoon says but gets silences as a response “Hob-ah?” He calls again, moving closer to the slightly older boy. There’s no response to his voice or movement.
Typically, Hoseok would be spooked by it, but he did nothing. Namjoon kneels beside Hoseok and strokes his cheek. It’s warm and soft, a little damp. However, he notices now that he is so close that Hoseok isn’t breathing. Namjoon panics and checks Hoseok’s heartbeat. Silent, there’s nothing. Namjoon stares at Hoseok’s smile as he realizes what has happened. Hoseok’s unrequited love killed him. Star tear disease killed the love of his life.
Namjoon starts to cry, he doesn’t develop star tear disease, his love was unrequited. He just develops heartbreak and a small but deep hatred for his brother.
‘This should have been me... I should have been the one to die from this. Hoseok deserved every bit of good in the world and Seokjin took that possibility away’ He thinks to himself.
Namjoon holds Hoseok's body to his chest as he calls 911 to report his death, then he calls Hoseok’s sister to tell her. Finally, he calls Yoongi who he knows is with Seokjin. ”Joon-ah? What's up?” Yoongi says when he answers the call on the speaker.
”Hob-ah... Hoseokie is dead Hyung...”
“... What? No... that can’t be, are you sure he’s not just sleeping?” Yoongi asks, not wanting to believe his best friend, his baby was dead.
“Yoongi what’s going on? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Seokjin says entering the living room.
“Hyung, I’m holding him…” There’s a pause and the two older boys can hear Namjoon sniffles and cries from through the phone.
“He’s dead... Hoseok is dead... “ Namjoon sobs out and Seokjin freezes.
“Namjoon, what do you mean Hoseok is dead? How could he be dead?” Seokjin says racing over to Yoongi’s phone, panicked and worried.
“Hyung... Hoseok developed Star tear disease two years ago... He slowly lost his ability to see colour. He began to lose his memory, short term and long term. He forgot how to get to places he should know how to get to. I’ve been spending almost every day recently searching for him when he calls me. Then… he was blind… He cried so much...”
”How did he develop it? Who hurt my baby...?” Seokjin says with a dark threatening tone,
”It was you.” Namjoon says with pure hatred and venom in his tone.
“Me? Hoseok loved me? I had no idea! I swear!”
“It doesn’t matter if you did or not... you would never love him back the way he loved you. I loved him, and he loved me back but I couldn’t cure him.”
“Because I’m the only one who could by returning his feelings...” Seokjin whispers loud enough that both boys hear him. Yoongi holds his hand and squeezes it in reassurance.
“It’s not your fault... there’s nothing you could do... you can’t force yourself to love someone,” Yoongi says as Seokjin tears up.
“I killed him... Yoongi, I killed the sun!”
“No, the disease did, and no matter if he got it from loving you or not, you didn’t kill him.”
“It doesn’t matter... Hoseok is dead... He died with a smile, the same one he wore every day without fail no matter how much it hurt him.” Namjoon says as he begins to hear sirens and sighs. He looks back down at Hoseok. “He’s gone, my whole life is gone... what am I supposed to do without him...? Without his smile, laugh, cheeks to pinch...? What am I going to do now that my reason to live is gone?”
“Joonie, don’t do it.” Yoongi says, knowing what he was thinking.
“Hyungs, how can I keep going on if he’s not here with me…?”
“Namjoon! I’m your older brother, your family, listen to me! Don’t do what you’re thinking of doing! Please!” Seokjin says, desperately trying to get Namjoon to see that he can’t kill himself. “I love you, you can’t die too... You can’t leave like Hoseok did, please... I hear emergency vehicles in the background, they’re almost to you... please... just hold on until we come get you. Please!”
“I can’t Hyung, Hobi is gone, I need to see him... I need to find him.”
“Namjoon-ah, I know you’re in pain but this isn’t what Hobi would want...” Yoongi says trying to reason with the younger boy.
“I’m used to being not what Hoseok wants, he’s wanted Jin-Hyung for as long as I’ve known him.” Namjoon hangs up the phone and pulls out his pocket knife.
With that, he does it, and kisses Hoseok one last time before he breathes his last breath. Paramedics arrive just as it’s too late.
They’re taken to a morgue and Seokjin and Yoongi are called to identify them. They both take it horribly, Seokjin turning to a mental case from seeing his brother cold, frowning at him, like Seokjin knew the younger had been doing over the phone. Hoseok was harder for Yoongi. There wasn’t a single hair out of place on his head, it looked like he was sleeping, he looked like he was alive, he looked happy, with a bright smile on his face that they all knew too well. Yoongi wasn’t one to cry but he cried after seeing them on the metal trays. The officers escort them out and say they’d release their body’s in a few days. Seokjin nods, thanking them before he and Yoongi leave the police station to make the rest of the calls. Seokjin calls his family, Yoongi calls their friends. The three young ones, Saturn, Jupiter and Pluto took it hard and showed up on the couple’s doorstep in tears. They welcomed them with open arms and cried together.
“How could this happen? Both of them... just gone.. poof..” Jimin says a bit blubbered.
“Joon-hyung always said he’d follow Hoseokie-Hyung anywhere... I never thought they’d go where they have.” Taehyung adds as he wipes his face.
Jungkook was still sobbing. He couldn’t form words. His two favourite Hyungs were out of his life for good, he was never getting them back. He would never smell Hoseok’s hair or dance with him again. He would never hear Namjoon talk about the economy or the new book he was reading. He wouldn’t hear them laugh, see their dimpled smiles.
Together the five boys grieve, they knew they didn’t want a third to join them. So they stick real close to each other after that. All going to therapy, getting the help they needed to move on from what happened.
Hoseok and Namjoon meet in the afterlife, where Hoseok greets Namjoon with a pout. “Joonie, what are you doing here?”
“I came to find you like I promised I always would.”
“Oh, Joonie... you’re so stupid sometimes...” Hoseok says as a small smile reaches his face and Namjoon opens his arms. Hoseok runs into them and cries.
“I loved your brother as a human... I loved you as a human... as a star, I love you even more.” Hoseok says burying his face into Namjoon's chest.
“I’ll love you in all forms. In all my lives, it’ll always be you.” Namjoon says as he lifts Hoseok’s face and kisses him.
They kiss, the familiar fast of tears between them making them giggle.
“It’s like we never left.” Hoseok smiles
“Except now I don’t have to compete with Jin-Hyung. I have you all to myself.” Namjoon says as he pulls Hoseok in for more kisses. Each getting deeper.
“You left them behind...” Hoseok says and frowns again.
“You did as well, you left me behind,” Namjoon says in his defence.
“I guess you have a point but I have no control, you did.”
“I didn’t, I lost control when I realized you were dead. You’re my sanity Hob-ah.”
“Well, I guess it’s good you found me then.”
“It’s amazing that I found you again. The others have each other, they’ll be fine. They’ll be upset, they’ll hurt but none of it will measure up to the pain we felt. Don’t worry, they’ll be fine.”
“Alright, well, let’s see what the afterlife has to offer us.”
Hoseok takes Namjoon’s hand and pulls him along through the afterlife version of Seoul, admiring the dream-like state of the world. It was peaceful and Namjoon knows he couldn’t be happier.
~the end~