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Peter Parker's Rumor Mill (and Other Debates)

Summary:

“I think Romanov being KGB is more likely than Rogers dating Barnes,” said Betty.

“I’m going to start collecting evidence,” Peter told Ned. He pulled his phone out and opened a note, typing as he said: “Exhibit A, they always arrive together in the same car.”

Ned facepalmed.

Notes:

This is set pre-quarantine, somewhere in the middle of the first one-shot.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Rogers had been around for two weeks, and Peter had thoughts about it.

“They are not dating,” Ned said for the last time, closing his locker just as Rogers and Barnes walked past them, not really talking. The two teachers gave their students small smiles as they headed to their classes.

Peter leaned on the locker, looking out the window where he could still see the car that Rogers and Barnes came out of. “They arrived in the same car.”

Ned turned to him. “I agree that it would be totally cool if they were—”

“They definitely are.”

“—but they haven’t done anything romantic.”

“So the car thing isn’t enough for you?” Peter asked, folding his arms, determined. “Fine. I’ll look for more evidence. You owe me ten.”

“Why?!”

“Because I’m right.”

Ned rolled his eyes and stopped Betty in the hallway. “Betty, tell Peter he’s wrong.”

Betty glanced at Peter. “Is this the Rogers and Barnes thing again?”

“Okay, you know what, Sally agrees with me!” Peter said, pointing to the general direction Sally had disappeared to earlier. “And Charlie!”

“Charlie thinks Romanov is part of the KGB.”

Peter threw his hands in the air. “Have you seen her?!” If Romanov turned out to be some sort of spy in any way, shape, or form, Peter would not be surprised. “She’s like a fucking—”

“Parker, get to class,” said the devil herself, walking right past the group. Peter nearly jumped out of his skin as Romanov gave him a stern look.

Once she turned the corner, he gestured after her pointedly. “Do you see what I mean?”

“I think Romanov being KGB is more likely than Rogers dating Barnes,” said Betty, eyeing after Romanov. “I just don’t see them together.”

Peter frowned. “Why?”

Betty shrugged. “Rogers is too serious. You know how much of a comedian Barnes likes to think he is.”

“His jokes are funny,” Ned said. At the dubious looks he was given, he amended: “Sometimes.”

“Well, he’s entertaining, at least.” Betty checked her watch. “I’ve got Rogers for first period, and I do not want to see the disappointment on his face if I’m late. I’m telling you, he’s the most serious but not too strict person I’ve ever met. It’s weird. He doesn’t get mad. Just does that thing with his face.”

“Oh, yeah, he knows how to make you feel guilty,” Peter said with a small laugh. Then he straightened up. “Okay, but opposites attract! Rogers is the serious one and Barnes is the funny one.”

Sometimes funny one,” Betty corrected.

“Hey, I like his jokes,” Peter said.

Betty rolled her eyes. “Nerds will be nerds.” She waved. “Alright, I’ll see you guys later, bye!”

“I’m going to start collecting evidence,” Peter told Ned as they walked to their first period with Stark. He pulled his phone out and opened a note, typing as he said: “Exhibit A, they always arrive together in the same car.”

Ned facepalmed.


After Peter’s class with Barnes, Rogers was standing outside the classroom, making Peter almost squeal in surprise. Peter nudged Sally, giving her wide eyes. She gave him the same look in return.

“Hi, Mr. Rogers,” Sally said sweetly. She’s one of the best students in Rogers’ class, so she had every right to be friendly with Rogers (Peter did not).

“Oh, hey, Sally.”

Sally went for it and asked: “Why’re you here, sir?”

Rogers lifted the phone in his hand. “Bucky accidentally put his phone in my bag.”

Peter blinked. “Bucky?”

Rogers blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry. That’s Mr. Barnes.” He looked away and tugged at the collar of his polo. “Ooh, shi—iz, he’s going to kill me.”

Peter and Sally shared knowing looks, bid their goodbyes, and ran down the hallway until they were out of Rogers’ earshot.

“Seriously, I don’t think he’s as serious as Betty thinks he is,” Peter said. “Did you see that? He was like a cute puppy!”

“That aside, he calls Barnes Bucky.” Sally’s hands flailed around in excitement. She nearly dropped her notebooks. “What the hell?”

“And what was Barnes’ phone doing in Rogers’ bag?” Peter grinned, already pulling his phone out. “This is so going on the list.”

Exhibit B: Rogers calls Barnes ‘Bucky’. Indicates a close relationship.

Exhibit C: Barnes’ phone in Rogers’ bag.


“Yo, Parker,” Charlie called out as Peter exited the Chemistry Laboratory. “Ned told me you were collecting evidence. About Rogers and Barnes.”

Peter grinned. “Got any for me?”

Charlie nodded a little, then tilted his head side to side. “Kind of. Not sure if it counts.” Any evidence was still evidence, Peter was going to say, but Charlie was already talking. “So, we had a quiz today for Precalc, and Barnes was texting someone the entire time. He had this giddy smile on his face too.”

“So, we just need to find out if Rogers was doing the same thing, right?” Peter said. Otherwise, Barnes could’ve been texting some other girlfriend or boyfriend.

Charlie pointed a finger at him. “I was gonna do that, but the people in Rogers’ class were ninth graders. I don’t know a single one of them.”

“Shit, me neither.” Peter scanned the hallway, spotting Betty talking to Sally. “Betty probably knows someone.”

“But Betty is on the other side of the betting pool.”

Peter cast Charlie a confused look. “There’s no betting pool.”

“Well, there should be!” Charlie sighed. “Point is, she doesn’t think they’re dating. She wouldn’t help.”

“Dammit. We’ll need to find out some other way.”

They never did find out, but Peter was convinced it was Rogers anyway. He added it to the exhibits.


A week and a half later, Peter had collected about fifteen pieces of evidence—some of them had footing, but there were others that were a bit of a stretch. Either way, they were still evidence.

That day, though, he was unprepared to walk into the art room for first period and be hit by the smell of flowers. First, he thought Rogers was planning to do something with flowers today—the book pressing thing or whatever. But Rogers himself was sitting in the middle of the room, staring at the flowers with increasing embarrassment.

“What the hell?” Peter asked Ned quietly as they took their seats in the far back.

“I’m starting to think you have a point,” Ned mumbled back, staring at the ridiculous amount of flowers.

Peter bit his cheek. “You think Barnes did this?” He looked around. “Well, this does feel like his idea of a joke.”

“Why today, though?”

“I don’t know. Wanna ask Rogers?”

“I’m not close enough.”

“Well, neither am I.”

Ned motioned to the front of the room, where Sally was talking to Rogers. “Tell Sally to ask!”

Peter stood up and walked over to her slowly, waiting first for the conversation to end. When Sally turned, he stopped her, but she was already ushering him along.

“I already asked. It’s his birthday,” Sally whispered. “He won’t tell me who it’s from, though, but I saw a card on the desk say Happy Birthday, Stevie. Stevie! Why would you call a friend Stevie? That’s definitely from a partner.”

Peter was practically bouncing on his feet. “Think it’s from Barnes?”

“I’m pretty sure it is. Who else would think this is funny?”

Peter sighed, sitting down on the chair next to Ned. “Seriously, his humor is not bad. This is pretty funny—and it helps us.”

“His jokes have their moments. Sometimes.”

Peter huffed. “Nerdy jokes are the best!”

When Rogers was approaching their table, Sally raised her hand and asked him: “Sir, do you think Mr. Barnes is funny?”

Rogers quirked his eyebrows, confused. He paused for a moment. “Well, he certainly thinks he’s funny.”

The students snickered at that. It was true.

Rogers smiled a little. “But I think he’s funny.”

Peter stared. They all did. That was definitely a dopey and fond smile on Rogers’ lips, and he looked like his heart was about to leap out his throat. Rogers patted the chair next to him and nodded at them. “I better start the class,” he said, leaving them still gaping.

“You can’t tell me they’re not together,” Peter hissed at Ned, jabbing a finger over to Rogers. “Did you see that?”

“He thinks Barnes is funny! They must be in love,” Sally said.

“Barnes is funny,” Peter said, “but that isn’t the point. Did you see his face?”

Ned huffed out a disbelieving breath, looking at Rogers. “Holy shit, they’re dating.”

Of course, Peter added that to Exhibit P.


The real jackpot came half a week later on a Saturday night. Peter was out with a couple of his friends, Ned, MJ, Betty, Sally, and Charlie, and they passed by a restaurant just as they were going home from the cinema.

They wouldn’t have noticed it if Peter didn’t decide to glance to his left at the right moment.

“Holy shit,” Peter said, slowing down his steps. He looked across the street to a restaurant that was quite obviously meant for couples. “Look.”

All of them turned to the restaurant, and, right by the window, they saw the two of their teachers sharing a chaste kiss across a romantic table set-up. Suddenly, they were all scrambling for their phones to take a picture.

Rogers and Barnes pulled away from each other, but Barnes kept his hand on top of Rogers’, smiling softly.

Peter and his friends all snapped a picture and ran away before the teachers could see them (although they were too busy staring into each other’s eyes to have noticed anything else around them anyway).

“Ten dollars,” Peter told Ned just as they all gasped for breath in the next block. “I told you all.”


“I did a thing,” Ned said, panicked. He slid into their cafeteria table. “I accidentally airdropped the picture to Romanov.”

Peter gaped at him. “Why?”

“Abraham was asking for it. It was an accident!” Ned buried his face in his hands. “She even accepted the airdrop. Why would she do that?”

Betty leaned over to them. “So they know we know?”

“Romanov will probably tell them,” Peter said. He raised an eyebrow at her. “So now you ship them, huh?”

Betty just shrugged, nonchalant. “Well, now that we know, they’re pretty cute.”

“If they know... then we can tease them more openly, right?” Sally grinned.

Peter grinned back, pumping his fist in the air. “Hell, yeah.”

Notes:

If you guys have anything you wanna see in this 'verse, just tell me down below and I'll see what I can do :)

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