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He’d known this was going to happen, from the way his lover had kissed him that morning a kiss that had felt like nothing but a goodbye.
He’d known it in the sad smile from his best friend over the top of a coffee at lunch as brief as it may have been before it disappeared back into a comfortable laugh.
He’d known it in the unusual clap of a hand on his shoulder by a team mate before he stepped through the curtain that night.
In fact he could have sworn he’d known it from the very beginning somewhere deep down.
Hand shaky as he slid the key into the door of their apartment he wasn’t sure he could even blame anyone but himself after all he’d never been easy to love had he?
Finally shoving the door open he kicked off his boots and dropped his bag in the entryway with little care, letting the door slam behind him he stumbled through the hallway to the kitchen not bothering with the light. Opening the fridge he was met with disappointment, he could have sworn he’d bought beer when he’d gone to the shop yesterday, slamming the door he made his way to the liquor cabinet jerking it open only to be met with disappointment.
Empty.
Empty just like the place in his chest his heart used to lay before his love had ripped it out and stamped on it.
Quickly he made his way up the stairs, there was a bottle of whisky in the wardrobe he’d bought it as a gift for a friend he hadn’t seen in a while. Slamming the bedroom light on he ripped open the door eyes searching over the contents quickly as he located the bottle with a triumphant little aha his eyes flickered over to his lovers side.
Empty.
No clothes, no shoes, no gear just….
Empty.
Staggering back he unscrewed the cap of the bottle and sunk to the floor taking a long drink as he went. Hands fumbling to pull his phone out of his trouser pocket he opened his recently dialled and rang the top number, eyes closing as he prayed the other would pick up.
Sorry the number you’re trying to reach has been disconnected or no longer in service……
Hanging up he selected the next number down taking a swig of whisky as he pressed call.
Sorry the number you’re trying to reach has….
With a growl he tried again with the number down from that, even though he had a sinking feeling he knew exactly what was about to come.
Sorry the number…
Throwing the phone he didn’t even flinch when it smashed into the wall with a loud bang, it was then that the tears started. He sobbed into the cradle of his arms as he brought his knees to his chest shaking with the force of the emotion pouring out of him. He felt so stupid, he'd truly thought that they cared but they didn't did they? every word they had ever said to him had been nothing but sweet lies. They weren't family and maybe they never had been, maybe all along this had been some big joke, maybe right now they were all gathered laughing at how pathetic he was. He'd given the other man his heart, had believed the promises that he would never shatter it like the others had, had believed that he was truly worthy of being loved by someone beautiful.
Lies.
Endo was gone and it wasn’t some sort of misunderstanding, he’d taken everyone with him leaving nothing but the sting of heartbreak behind. Sasaki had known it was going to happen eventually but it didn’t make it hurt any less, taking another swig of alcohol he tried to steady his breathing. The way he saw it he had two choices either wallow in self pity and drink himself to death or take control and show the world that Damnation were nothing without him.
Making his choice he stood leaving the bottle on the floor and collecting his phone from its place across the room, he’d gotten too used to being loved and he wasn’t about to let his guard down again, it was time to show them exactly why he was called Charisma.