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9: 30 DRAGON - one day before the Battle of Ostagar
Ymlaïs had remained silent all the way. Everything had happened so fast: her life had collapsed in an instant. Tamlen had died, or had been definitively lost, she was on reprieve, infected with an unknown sickness, she had to leave her clan and now she was heading to a battle against a horde of demons she was unaware of the existence just a few days ago. She was resilient, but ... it was a lot all at once.
The faces of all the people she had known and loved scrolled in her mind.
She took a look at her travelling companion. Who was this man who walked alone in the midst of the Brecilian forest, defended himself alone against these monsters and seemed to have win the esteem of the keeper - which was something ?
To tell the truth, she had reflexively hung on to the instinctive distrust that inspired her those of his race. But in the end, she didn’t have much to blame him for. He had shown respect for her people, their traditions, their way of life, and her grief : speaking no more than necessary and never blaming her for her silence, neither by words, nor by his attitude.
Anyway she would have to get used to the presence of one "shem". Once in Ostagar, she was likely to be around lots of them. This thought made her shudder.
The only thing she had ever learned about the shemlens was how they betrayed her people, drove them out of their lands and enslaved them or condemned them to nomadism in lands no one else wanted. The rare encounters between dalish and human people were never very friendly. They were practically the natural enemies of her people and she had learned to reject them without distinction. And today she was supposed to live among them ?
This isn't real. This is a bad dream and I'll wake up soon. I'll go on patrol in the woods with Tamlen and Fenarel. On our way back we'll pay a visit to Maren and the hallas. Ashalle will prepair her delicious anise and honey breads and in the evening the clan will gather around the fire to share stories, sing and dance.
She'd kept telling herself this scenario dozens of times since she left. But the reality did not change. And she should learn to live with it.
Duncan looked over his shoulder at the young elf who still seemed lost in her thoughts. They had travelled a considerable distance by forced march and she had never complained. When he announced that they would stop for the night, she put down her luggage without haste, showed no sign of weariness and offered to go hunting for the meal before nightfall. She was much tougher than her small and slender body suggested. She was also well used to the difficulties of survival. Sleeping under the stars into the wild, travelling with the bare necessities, ensuring her subsistence by her own means and guaranteeing her security in hostile territory seemed to be no problem for her.
She had returned with the corpse of a young deer and had undertaken to smoke the meat to make reserves so they won't have to waste time hunting the following days and be able arrive more quickly at destination. As they ate their evening rations, she finally came out of her silence.
"Why did you recruit me?"
Duncan looked up at her, finished to eat, put down the leftovers, and answered quietly:
"Because the wardens need skilled warriors to grow their ranks. Especially with the darkspawns gathering in droves at our gates."
"But you haven’t really seen me fight. You said that the Joining was my only chance of surviving the sickness that I have, but you also said that your order does not recruit out of charity. Yet you do not know what I am worth in battle."
"Let’s see, I’ve seen you resist an evil that would have finished most of the people. I know you have faced the darkspawns twice, and survived. This is far more than most of our recruits can pretend. I also talk on long time with your keeper. She did praised your skills as a hunter but also your courage and dedication – hearing this admission, Ymlaïs blushed - those are essential qualities for a Grey Warden. I have seen you at work for the past two days as we travel in conditions that would have rebuffed many seasoned warriors. And generally speaking, I don’t imagine that recruiting among the dalish hunters is a waste of time. Your people are known for their skill in combat, and from what I have witness in your clan I will add a certain wisdom that some of my people sometimes lack."
"These words honour you shemlen."
In truth, Ymlaïs was much more affected than what she let shown. She never thought she’d hear such praise for her people out of the mouth of a human. Actually, she never even thought she’d one day have a real conversation with a human. She realized a little shameful, that she had nothing nice to say in return. She decided that at least she could stop calling this man "shemlen" and use his first name instead.
"You seem to have held my people in high esteem, Duncan. And I thank you for that. I’d like to say the same about yours, but... I don’t know anything about humans. Your world is unknown to me, and it generally rejects people.... Like me."
" Don't worry, I do not hold your people in higher esteem than any other. But a Grey Warden serves all peoples and one cannot defend what one despises. What interests me is not where they're from, but the people themselves." He looked straight into her eyes and seemed to gauge her for a moment, then continued : "Don’t be afraid. You’ll get used to it. Anyway I sent a message to Ostagar after we left your clan. The wardens will be notified before your arrival, so they won’t be caught off guard and have time to get used to the idea."
As she fell asleep, Ymlaïs still felt anxious but a little reassured by Duncan’s words. Shaken also: she had never considered putting her bow of service to other people than her own. The certainties that had framed her life were collapsing one after the other. At least if the Grey Wardens were all similar to this one, they’d probably nicely welcome her.
—---
Alistair watched the motley crowd of bivouacs set up here and there in the ruins of Ostagar. Many reminded him of his previous life.
The knights in their shining armor reminded him of his childhood in Redcliffe. Were the Arl’s armies on their way? If the Lord of Redcliffe joined them, Alistair would have the opportunity to see again the man who had put a roof on his head during the first years of his life. Would he dare go to him, talk to him, after rejecting him for years ? He wanted so much to tell him that he regretted his attitude as a teenager and that he was sincerely grateful for everything he had done for him. He had tried to write him once after his recruitment into the Grey Wardens but had never dared to send his letter. Maybe face to face, things would be different...or even more difficult. Each of them could die at any moment in the coming battles. It was better to say things while it was still possible.
He walked by the place dedicaded to the Chantry. The Reverend Mother, perched on a platform, recited a prayer to the Maker for the faithful gathered at her feet. He remembered too well the fiery glare she had thrown to him as soon as she had recognized him among the Wardens. Clearly, she had not forgotten anything about the “insult” that Duncan had inflicted upon her by recruiting Alistair six months earlier against her will. Surely she would find a way to make him pay for that…
He felt uneasy passing by the mages' tents. He was no longer in the service of the Chantry but his past as a templar apprentice resurfaced in their presence. He had not been educated to be comfortable with the Magi… And vice versa. It was as if a chasm had established itself between them that seemed never to close.
Only the Ash warriors inspired an impression of exoticism, with their war paintings of which they also covered the fur of their dogs that they never left. Although when he thought about it, the dogs also reminded him of old times…
At the dawn of battle, men and beasts were nervous. Something was floating in the air as if the presence of the darkspawns was perceptible by everyone, not only by the Grey Wardens. Their omnipresent threat weighed on all minds.
Alistair was as concerned about it as everyone else. But on the other hand, he would finally have the opportunity to take part in the fighting. Since his Joining, Duncan had always managed to keep him away from the battlefield. But today it was no longer question of skirmishes anymore but of a real battle. All the forces would be necessary.
Alistair stopped for a moment in front of King Cailan’s tent. His “brother”. It was strange to know that he was so close. They had not seen each other since their very brief meeting in Redcliff. Cailan spent a lot of time with the Grey Wardens but did not seem more affected by Alistair’s presence than 12 years ago(1). What exactly did he know about him? Nothing, perhaps. He had lost nothing of his beauty and youthful confidence, proud and lofty in his royal armor that shone like a sun. But Alistair thought he was presumptuous. He did not seem to take the threat seriously and Duncan was concerned. Sure, he had the charisma of a fairy-tale hero, but it wasn't a fairy-tale. Teyrn Loghain, on the other hand, seemed pragmatic and aware of the stakes. He was taciturn, of course, not the kind of men you would take with you to tour the taverns, but he had the experience of those who went through desperate battles.
He finally arrived at the Grey Wardens' camp where the vast majority of the warriors had gathered around the Constable. It could only mean one thing: news from Duncan.
(1) see chapter 2 - A place where I belong - https://archiveofourown.org/works/26696809/chapters/65119831
---
The constable closed the letter and spoke to the wardens in a loud voice.
"Gentlemen, we have received news from the Commander, he should be back with us in a day or two."
"It’s about time!" said one of the captains. "The battle is near. Lord Cousland has just arrived with his army and has already begun to send scouting troops to prepare for the coming battle".
"We will not wait for Redcliffe 's reinforcements?" said another.
The constable replied: "The commander went to check in with Arl Eamon. But the King seems confident in our ability to stop the invasion of the darkspawns with the present forces."
"This is madness!" cried one of the veterans. "You all feel like me the massive presence of the darkspawns ! There are not enough of us!"
"With Teyrn Loghain at our side, anything is possible!" Replied a young warden with enthusiasm. "He has beaten the Orlesian army out of our borders with a handful of rebels!"
A messy noise rose from the ranks, everyone expressing their point of view at the same time.
" Enough !" shouted the Constable. "The Teyrn is indeed a fine strategist and a reknown general who had king Maric’s complete trust. His help is invaluable. In any case, whatever the orders, we will follow them. I expect each of you to honour your order ! If the Blight is at our doorstep, then it is our duty to fight and win, whatever the cost. In death sacrifice. In war victory !"
Some fists were raised and some war cries came to support the constable’s harangue.
“Duncan’s letter also mentions one element that is…unexpected, to say the least. He brings with him a surprising new recruit: a young dalish woman.”
A silence occurred, then the hubbub resumed unabated, punctuated by some bold laughter.
"Ah! Finally, a girl in our ranks! I hope she’s pretty at least!"
"An elven women ? Good idea! She can cook and wash our laundry."
" Maker ! Where did Duncan find a dalish recruit ?"
" Well... in the woods of course !"
"Are those folks not cannibals? They are said to make human sacrifices to honour their gods."
"A fresh elf. A nice gift from Duncan before the battle, is it to motivate the troops ? "
" For Andraste’s sake, aren’t you ashamed?"
" Hey Tamirel ! You won’t be the only elf among us anymore!"
" One woman in the middle of a male group is a source of problems, I’m telling you. Especially with those three dickheads over there."
Charming! Alistair thought… So much for open-mindedness and egalitarianism amongst the Wardens. I hope dalish have a huge sense of humour. Otherwise, … This promises to be interesting … or not. Kind of appaling actually.
« Gentlemen! Gentlemen! If Duncan saw fit to recruit this person, we have no reason to doubt his decision. Duncan’s comments about her are complimentary. And I expect you to welcome her as any brother...sister-in-arms, with due respect to her, regardless of her gender or origin! Where is Alistair ?"
" I am here, Constable."
" Come my boy. The commander has asked that you supervise the preparations for the Joining. Upon his arrival, you will be responsible for welcoming and taking charge of this recruit and the two other." He added, whispering firmly: "With more tact and respect than those big-mouthed fools I hope .»
Alistair nodded.
"Perfect. Time is short and the Joining must take place before the battle. We must grow our ranks as quickly as possible."
" Got it, Constable."
" Her name is... Ymlaïs and… Well, for the rest, you will manage to spot a dalish elf in the middle of all these people right? That will be all gentlemen! Ivor, Oscar and Clayton, you’ll be on watch duty tonight, that’ll teach you to speak bullshit.” There were formal protests, but the gathering broke out in small groups of discussions throughout the camp.
« Ah, ah ! Lucky boy !" Said Legnar (2) by grabing Alistair by the neck to fist rubbing his head. "I’ve always found elves to be cute with their big, mysterious eyes. The city elves always look like beaten dogs but a proud dalish women, um … That must be something ! When you’re done chaperoning her, I'll be pleased to take care of her. » He punctuated his speech with a loud laugh.
Hadder (2) was indignant: " Legnar! Your words are insulting and unworthy! You should be ashamed! The Constable is right, she should not be treated differently than other recruits. If she survives the Joining, she will be a Grey Warden, just like all of us here. »
A few steps away from the trio, Gregor put down his beer and giggled.
"Well! Let’s wait and see how the young lady welcomes his bluster. If Duncan holds her in high esteem, she must be an outstanding warrior. And I don’t think a "proud dalish" would like that kind of humor very much. I have no doubt that she will make our charming friend swallow his words. 'Cause if you like the elves Legnar, I doubt that a dalish finds a human to her liking."
" Pffff. You're not funny! I am just trying to cheer up our sad situation."
"Then shut up and have a drink instead ! That'll be better…"
" I’m in!" said Alistair. "If I have to wet my pants in front of the darkspawn horde I..."
" Might as well not piss water!" Greagor ended with a laugh
" I'm in too, said Hadder. Tiern Loghain or not, it’s not two or three “potential” recruits who are going to change anything in our situation. We might as well celebrate while we can.”
They all raised their tankards.
" In death Sacrifice "!
"In war Victory ! "
(2) see chapter 6 - In the right place - https://archiveofourown.org/works/26697385/chapters/65121319
INSPIRATIONS
"One good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together". This sentence that introduces the character of Alistair is great because it is true, and at the same time, the irony that characterizes it is equally true.
When I tried to imagine what would happen to my Dalish Warden at the dawn of the Battle of Ostagar, it was inevitably a question of two worlds that were about to clash while all separated them.
I wanted to address the difficulty of different people coming together for a common cause : the elves towards the humans, the Chantry towards the mages and vice versa, the men towards the women, etc. Just because the Blight threatens everyone, that does not mean this world is suddenly ready to cooperate on good terms. On the contrary, the sudden and forced closeness to the despited people brings out the inimities, the clichés, the resentments.
When we are dealing with a group, we are not dealing with individuals. All these discomforts that the protagonists feel towards a group will fade or disappear when they'll deal with individuals, also forced to live together but without being drowned in a mass. Alistair will make "friends" with Wynne, Ymlaïs will fall in love with a human, etc…
The same goes for our own impulses of rejection. To meet individuals is to realize that under the hijab there is an intelligent woman, under the black skin there is a guy with the same tastes as us, under the androgyny there is someone with whom we laugh well, that this sexy woman is full of humor and that in every person, there is a heart that beats.
I also wanted to make these Grey wardens live a little before they were decimated. Well, I admit I didn’t present them at their best.
The letter that Alistair allegedly wrote to Eamon is mentioned in The World of thedas vol. 2
The idea of Alistair getting through the camp and remembering his all life before it took a radical turn came with writing. It lengthens the reading considerably but I liked the idea too much.
And the conversation between Duncan and Ymlaïs was inspired by my own reactions during the game.