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“Who’s ready to party?” Luke shouted, pulling Reggie and Alex towards the club.
“I’m ready to party!” Reggie answered, slapping Alex on the shoulder when he didn’t respond fast enough.
Alex hissed and recoiled. He rubbed his shoulders and glared at Reggie. “OW!”
“What’s up your butt?” Luke asked, concerned. “Can’t be grumpy on your birthday Alex, it’s a rule.”
Alex rolled his eyes, “I’m not grumpy, I’m in pain.” He pulled back his pink hoodie to reveal a big yellow bruise on his shoulder. “On the way to my last class, some brain-dead idiot on a skate broad ran me over. Didn’t have time to get it checked out at the nurses before heading here.”
Reggie and Luke winced in unison when they saw.
“That looks gnarly dude…” Reggie said, reaching out to poke it.
Luke slapped his hand away. “Get a good look at him?”
Alex straightened his clothes and shrugged. “A little, he was wearing a helmet though.” He vaguely remembered voluminous long brown hair, the kind you would see in shampoo commercials, and not much else. He was not going to tell the guys that part.
“A guy in a helmet,” Reggie scribbled onto a note pad (the one Julie gave him to write down his country lyrics). “Should be enough for the cops to find him. How many helmet wearing skaters can there be in California?”
Luke and Alex shook their heads at his tomfoolery. “I wouldn’t tell the cops anyway. He pulled me up but skated away before I could tell him off,” Alex rubbed his shoulders instinctively. “Just shouted sorry and said he was late.”
“At least he said he was sorry,” Reggie pointed out, with a sweet smile.
“Sorry doesn’t heal my broken bones,” Alex griped.
“Your bones aren’t broken!” Luke argued, gesturing to the flickering sign to the most exclusive themed club in town. “And even if they are, drink and dull the pain because finally you’re 21 my man!”
“Woo!” Reggie punched the air. Alex laughed through the sharp ache in his shoulder, submitting to his friends as they hauled him into The Hollywood Ghost Club.
+++
They all turned 21 the same year and had vowed to live it up as the best year ever. Reggie was the first to turn 21, and for his birthday the band took him to the Country Music Festival to meet his idols. It was hilarious to see him drool over legends they thought were dead or never heard of. He had glittering stars in his eyes. Luke was the second to turn 21, and for his birthday the guys had taken him to Coachella. It was expensive and they had to tap into the band’s emergency funds but they wrote it off as crucial research and development. Luke promised them they would play Coachella when they make it big. Him making eye contact with Normani set a fire in him.
Alex’s birthday was last. Reggie and Luke were stumped on what to get him, he wasn’t as forthright with what he wanted as they were. There was always a sense he was holding something back. Julie had suggested they set him up on date and Flynn wanted to throw him a traditional birthday party, but Alex hated blind dates and a birthday party didn’t seem special enough for his first foray into manhood. He had to have a big first.
It was by pure luck (or misfortune) they discovered The Hollywood Ghost Club. Luke was working a late shift at the Orpheum, and when he was biking home a loose flyer slapped him in the face and almost caused him to swerve into traffic. He could have died. When he pulled over to peel off the piece of trash, he noticed it was a promotion for a club that prided itself on being queer inclusive, having a live band and Cabaret dancers. What was even better was that anyone celebrating their 21st birthday could eat and drink for free. It was an amazing find. It was fate!
“Julie and Flynn are missing out,” Reggie slurred, as he drooled over the platter of hotdogs, burgers and pizza placed before them. It was piled high, greasy, and smelled fantastic. It was the 21st birthday special promised to them upon showing Alex’s ID.
“It’s her own fault,” Luke grumbled, “Too scared to use the fake IDs Reggie and I made.”
“Yeah!” Reggie said, mouth full of hotdogs.
Reggie and Luke had worked at a copy shop during their teen years (to pay for band equipment and merch) and had been making fake IDs as a hobby. Because of this dull blip in their resume, the bandmates have had the privilege of drinking and going to clubs since they were 16. Getting caught always worried Alex.
“Ray would ground her for a decade if he found out,” Alex defended her. Rebel Luke sometimes forgot not everyone can bend the rules like he can.
“She’s 19 now,” Luke continued bitching and moaning as he stuffed his face. “It’s time she stops doing everything her dad says and live a little.”
“You’re just mad he doesn’t like you and loves us,” Reggie sang, a string of cheese hanging of his lips.
“Whatever!”
Alex couldn’t stop laughing. Luke was genuinely butt hurt about that. Ray wasn’t very fond of Luke. He hated him ever since he first learned about him the day Julie snuck out to play an open mic night with their band. He discovered them seconds away from kissing after a very intense duet together. It took him a week to accept his newly adult daughter was in a band with college-aged guys and he still hasn’t accepted Luke. Their chemistry was undeniable and there was nothing ray could do about it. Poor ray.
The food was good, none of them felt guilty about stuffing themselves for free. They made a contest out of it. Reggie won of course. They had a plan to get Alex wasted and it was best not to do it on an empty stomach. They would call an uber if need be.
The live performances were great. It felt like a modern swinging Jazz club. The music, costumed dancers, and special effects were topnotch even for LA. It looked like magic. Luke was itching to sign them up for the roster, but he knew he had to focus on what would make Alex happy for tonight. What would he want? Think Luke, think. Alex looked pretty content eating the free food as any broke college student would.
While they downed their rounds of free drinks (cheap beer for Reggie, fruity cocktails for Alex, and hard liquor for Luke) the main entertainment debuted. A handsome guy, in a glamorous suit, and the presence of a stage magician floated from the ceiling onto the stage. He flashed a devilish smile upon landing and the crowd went wild.
“That must be the owner,” Alex said in awe.
“Yeah heard he is some washed up Ex-Vegas Magician,” Luke said taking a shot.
“He looks awesome!” Reggie said with his mouth hung open.
The guys watched with rapt attention as Caleb Covington announced himself through a song a dance number straight out of a hit Broadway musical. The room was in uproar. At the end he welcomed all the newcomers to his humble abode.
“I hear it’s someone’s 21st birthday here,” Caleb asked suddenly. “Who wants me to make them a man.”
“He’s right here!” Reggie shouted, throwing up Alex’s hand.
“What the hell are you doing Reg,” Alex groaned, trying to slump back in his chair.
“He asked for you.”
“Oh god,” Alex wanted to disappear. It was just like that mortifying experience of being called out by a comedian at a Christian youth camp. The burden of being known. His anxiety was sent into turbo drive when the spotlight shined on their table and everyone in the room was staring at them.
Caleb walked over and pushed the mic in Alex’s face. “What’s your name darling?”
“A..lex,” He stuttered out. He then cleared his throat and said again. “It’s Alex.”
Caleb smirked and snapped his fingers, two gorgeous twins in feathery cabaret costumes skipped over. Reggie couldn’t take his eyes off them. “Ready to have the best night of your life?”
“Umm…” Alex stuttered looking at the beautiful women waiting for him to choose one of them.
Luke pointed to Alex and mouthed to Caleb, “He. Is. Gay.”
Alex slumped further into his chair. He wasn’t closeted but he wasn’t very liberal with that information either.
“Oh, that’s not a problem at all,” Caleb snapped his fingers again and two handsome dancers come over. “Dante and Fuego, show Alex a good time.”
“Can we have the twins!” Reggie shouted, waving to the women.
They giggled and nodded to Caleb. “The more the merrier!” Caleb shouted, signaling another swinging dance number.
“Come on Alex,” Reggie urged as he was pulled away by one of the twins.
“Yeah, live a little,” Luke agreed, following the other insistent twin.
Alex didn’t have time to decline, he was carried onto the dance floor by the gorgeous Dante and cute Fuego. It was embarrassing at first, they just pulled and pushed him around to a rhythm. But soon Alex got the hang of it and was having the time of his life. He not so secretly loved dancing. Luke and Reggie pretended like they didn’t know (even though they walked in on him practicing Beyonce’s choreography many times).
It was fun.
He was a lot better than he gave himself credit for.
They spun him, and picked him up, and twirled him in a room full of people and no one cared.
It was the first time he had danced with a guy. Two guys to be exact but the sentiment stands. The night was good.
+++
Tipsy from the alcohol and drunk on fun, the guys danced with a host of hot flexible people. Reggie was having the time of his life, accepting the advances of every gorgeous woman thrown his way. Luke and Alex shied away at the girls and guys thrown their way. Dancing was one thing, but Luke wasn’t ready to forgo the progress he’d made with Julie. Alex was still anxious to go too far. He didn’t have an exact metric for too far, but it was anything out of his comfort zone. And boy was his comfort zone narrow.
So, they danced together. It was fun, a little flirty, and reminded Alex way too much of sophomore year of high school. He had come out to the band and was secretly nursing a puppy crush on Luke. It culminated in one nervous kiss behind the bleachers at spring formal, a few elicit fumblings, and a promise to never let anything get in the way of their band.
Alex had been disappointed in that outcome for a couple of years. When he left high school and realized the guys who like guys pool was much wider than him and his bisexual bandmate, he fully accepted them just being friends.
Dancing with Luke had no longer caused him that dull ache in his chest anymore.
“Having fun birthday boy?” Luke asked as he spun him.
“Yeah, actually,” He was completely in the zone. “We have to do this again.”
“I hear Caleb throws a killer Halloween party…”
“Good I need somewhere to wear the Hulking costume I order –
“OW!” Alex was cut off by someone being shoved into him. It was obviously accidental, but his shoulder was still sore from his first collision that night. To make things worse he got soaked with champagne. “What the hell!”
“Sorry man!”
The person said, picking up the tray that had fallen to the ground. They were a waiter. That fact softened Alex’s response. He knelt to help him pick up the glasses that had fallen. “It’s no problem accidents happen.”
The waiter looked up at Alex. Their eyes met.
Time slowed down.
Long luscious brown hair was flipped out of his face. It revealed this gorgeous jawline, sensitive brown eyes, and a wolfish grin. Alex wanted to talk, to wanted to move but it was like he was buffering in real-time.
“Do I know you from somewhere?” This Abercrombie and Fitch model of a man asked.
Luke elbowed Alex and he mustered enough the courage to talk. “I think you ran me over tonight.”
The waiter chuckled low and raked his fingers through his perfect hair. “My bad, it’s weird how it happened twice in one night.”
“Yeah weird,” Alex parroted, still fixed on his dreamy eyes.
“I’m about to take my break in a minute, how about I make it up to you?”
“How would you do that exactly?” Alex stuttered through his sentence.
“Can’t spoil the surprise.”
Shivers ran down Alex’s spine, at that gravely quality in his voice and the look of mischief in his eyes. It made him a little slow on the response.
“His name is Alex,” Luke intervened, pushing Alex towards the guy.
“And mine is Willie,” He said, leading Alex away by hand. “Let me show you the staff privileges.”
As Willie led him away, Alex looked back at Luke with worried eyes.
“I’m happy for you…” Luke whispered, giving both thumbs up. He was feeling the glorious satisfaction of believing he was going to get his friend laid. Birthday mission accomplished. Luke gets the gold.
He looked around to find Reggie covered in lipstick marks and looking ready to topple over from ecstasy. Super best friend was not quite done for the day.
+++
Willie led Alex to a stairway at the back of the building. It was dark, dirty, and deserted. He shivered in his champagne-soaked hoodie as he waited for Willie. Waiting was awful, it gave him time to be consumed by anxiety. What would this guy want? Was Alex ready? Would he embarrass himself? He was so too hot it felt like a prank.
It wasn’t long before Willie reappeared with a duffle bag and a sweatshirt in hand. He threw it at Alex. “Put this on, you’ll freeze to death on the roof.”
Alex stood on the step and changed in front of Willie. He blushed the entire time and Willie glanced at his phone to reduce his obvious discomfort. Alex was not very self-conscious about his body, but the act was too intimate.
“Whoa, did I do that to your shoulder?” Willie’s eye widened when he saw the bruise. He couldn’t hide the guilt he felt.
“Well the cement did but you didn’t help…” Alex was playing off how much it hurt.
Willie reached into his duffle and pulled out a bottle. He squirted a green salve onto his palm and moved towards Alex.
“Whoa…what’s that?” Alex backed away instinctively.
“Relax, natural icy hot. It numbs the pain.” Willie said, applying the salve like an expert. He gently rubbed circles onto Alex’s bare shoulder with two fingers. Alex’s skin trembled under his touch. “Even the best of us eat pavement from time to time.”
Alex smiled, “I would have liked to have been on board.”
“I would like to see you on a board.”
When Willie finished the ointment Alex quickly slipped on the sweatshirt. It smelled like expensive cologne and felt lived in. It was the one he wore when he crashed into Alex earlier. Alex hoped he let him keep it.
“Better?”
“Much.”
+++
Willie continued climbing the stairs, humming to himself.
“Why are we going to the roof?” Alex just realized he was being taken to a secondary location by a stranger. John Mulaney warned him about this.
“Great view of nighttime L.A, and I would take you to the beach or my favorite museum but I’m still on the clock, so I have to be near in case the boss rings me.”
“You sure are dedicated to this job.”
Willie distaste was hard to hide, “You can call it that. I owe Caleb too much.”
Alex felt intrusive so he didn’t ask any more personal questions. They walked in silence until they got to the door of the roof. The big red sign on the door read, “Do not open.”
“Are we allowed up here?” He asked.
“Nope,” Willie answered, smiling as he held the door open for Alex.
“I bet you come here often.”
Willie smirked, “And I bet you’re not used to breaking rules.”
He sounded like Luke when he said that. Alex got shivers, and it wasn’t just the night air whipping at his face. Willie yanked him in by his sweatshirt before he could argue. Alex suddenly wasn’t against being dragged around.
“Look how beautiful that is,” Willie said pointing to the sky. The California sky was too well lit to see a lot of stars, but it was still lovely to look at.
“You can see the beach from here,” Alex gestured to the palm trees swaying and the ocean slamming up against the shore. The bustle of the city and responsibilities often made you forget that you are living in paradise.
“Yeah, you can…” Willie said wistfully. “I’ve always wanted to share this view with someone.”
Alex blushed bright red, again.
For a while they both just looked at the sky, let the cold night air-kiss their skin, and existed together. In a way, they were in perfect harmony.
+++
When Alex turned back to look at Willie, he was laying out a towel on the floor of the roof. He took out a carton from his duffle bag and waved Alex over. “Look what I swiped from the kitchen.”
He had a plastic carton of chocolate dipped strawberries, eclairs, and a miniature bottle of champagne. “You didn’t have to do this for me,” Alex said, eyes wide. “You’ll get in trouble.”
Willie laughed, “First of all, I do this all the time. Second, I haven’t eaten all day. It’s for me.” He pulled out a strawberry, tasted it, and smiled. “But I’m willing to share.”
“Ok.”
Alex collapsed on the blanket next to Willie, putting as much space as he can put between them. He bit his lips and tried not to stare at the way the strawberry juice drip down Willie’s lips. “Can I have one?” His voice was unsure.
“Maybe,” Willie said, playfully. He waited for Alex to pout before he took one of the strawberries out of the cartoon and lifted it to his own lips.
“Come on!”
Willie laughed again, low and sweet. “Say please.”
Alex leaned forward and stuttered out the words. “Please…can I have a strawberry.”
“Since you asked nicely,” Willie was having too much fun. He took the same strawberry that was just pressed against his lips and attempted to feed Alex. “Say ah.”
Alex couldn’t blush any deeper. His skin was hot, and his palms were sweaty. He was malfunctioning with no one around to save him from embarrassing himself. When he didn’t open his mouth, Willie brushed the strawberry against his lips. “Last chance..;”
Alex tingled all over, tingled in places. He slowly opened his mouth and welcomed the strawberry. He bit it just below where Willie’s fingers were. It was cold, sweet, and juicy. He saw Willie watching his lips, and he instinctively licked them. He tasted chocolate. Willie’s gaze was too intense, he couldn’t look at him anymore.
“See how easy that was...”
+++
“What do you usually do up here?” He was trying to make conversation.
Willie shrugged, “I come here to board, to paint…to avoid work…”
Alex laughed at that. It reminded him of Reggie and Luke at every job they have ever had.
“And to yell.”
“Why yell?”
“Sometimes you get filled with a shitload of negativity and you just need to let that out or it kills you, bro.”
“By yelling?” He asked, doubtfully. It sounded like hippy nonsense.
“At the top of your lungs,” Willie answered seriously, “Just get it all out.”
“Why would you even –
Before he could ask more questions, Willie jumped up and yelled. It was a deep guttural scream that reverberated through Alex. It was anguished and frustrated. Negative energy burst out of him and disappeared once he stopped. He was gazing at Alex and smiling again. “Your turn.”
“No way!”
“Yes, way,” Willie offered him his hand. “You’re wired way too tight.”
Alex still looked hesitant. His anxious little mind was buzzing away.
“You have nothing to be afraid of, it’s just the two of us.”
There was no way he could refuse Willie’s smile. He let Willie pull him up, he liked the feel of his hands in his. His hands were a little bigger and calloused. This surprised Alex, he always through musicians had the rougher hands.
He steadied himself and looked into Willie’s expectant eyes. He gripped Willie’s hand tight and wailed at the top of his lungs. He screamed to release the tension of his anxiety, his frustration of his last visit with his parents, and his fears the band won’t make it big. He screamed from the pit of his stomach to the top of his head. He screamed until he got lightheaded and dizzy. It echoed in the streets. It felt good.
Willie joined him in the screaming. He held Alex’s hand tight and screamed his troubles away. When they were done, both their voices were hoarse, and their breathing was heavy. Willie looked at Alex’s flushed face and laughed. Alex adored his laugh. He wished he could record it and play it whenever he liked. It sounded like music.
“That felt good,” Willie breathed out.
“It felt great.”
“I know how to have a good time,” He bragged.
Alex nodded, “You’ll have to teach me...how to do that.”
It was then he realized their hands were still joined. Willie realized too. Neither of them wanted to let go. It felt so right.
They stepped closer together simultaneously, closing the gap between them. They were going to kiss. It was going to happen. Alex was going to give in to spontaneity and let it happen. He knew what he wanted, and he was going to take it.
[Ring]
“Fuck.”
[Ring] A phone went off.
Willie groaned, “Sorry,” He let go of Alex and ran over to his phone in his duffle. “It’s definitely Caleb. My break is over.”
A frustrated sigh left Alex. “It’s cool I understand. I should get back to my bandmates anyway…”
“I really hate this job sometimes,” Willie said, and he quickly packed up his blanket. He handed the carton of strawberries to Alex. “These are for you. Take them with you.”
“You said –
“I lied,” Willie said, with a glint in his eyes. “Now let’s book it.”
Alex clutched the box of strawberries to his chest and ran down the stairs behind Willie. Caleb must have been a tough boss for Willie to be so terrified of being late. He leaped over several steps at a time, Alex fought to keep up.
When they reached the bottom of the stairs Willie looked ready to break off in the other direction, Alex grabbed onto him and held him in place a little longer. He fought the courage to ask, “Can I have –”
“No time!” Willie pulled out of his grip and took off running. “Meet me at the skate shack tomorrow at 9.”
“I have a class!” Alex shouted back.
“You’re skipping!” Willie screamed, way out of earshot. “See you there!”
Alex groaned in frustration.
He can’t just skip.
Can he?
Yes, he can.
Yes, he will.
Willie seemed worth it.
+++
Alex found his bandmates collapsed at the table, both were drunk, and one was covered in hicks. He shook them awake; they had a turbulent bus ride home.
Luke was the first to wake up, groaning. “Alex you’re back!”
“I’m back.” Alex humored him.
Alex heaped Reggie unto himself and pulled Luke to his feet. He struggled with them towards the door. “You guys are a mess.” He was the one who should have been carried on his birthday.
"Are those strawberries?"
"Don't even think about it Reggie, they were a gift." He said that with pride.
Reggie drunkenly nuzzled into his sweatshirt, inhaling deeply. “You smell nice, new cologne?”
Alex flushed red. He looked down at Luke to see him smirking.
“You got laid.”
“No, I didn’t!” Alex affirmed. For all his reservations, he wished he did.
“You’re in another man’s shirt, Alexander…”
“Shut your mouth, Lucas!”
Luke and Reggie giggled. “Alex and Willie sitting a tree,” Luke sang. “S.U.C.K.I.N.G.”
“I’ll drop you, Luke!”
“Tell us what happened!”
Alex could only roll his eyes and shook his head. He didn't have much to say. It was a simple night with a promise of more.
A long moment of silence passed as they stumbled to the bus stop.
“S…U…that’s not how you spell kissing!” Reggie realized.