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The problem with having clones is that Caleb is fully aware of what he looks like. Most people are able to imagine that they look different when other people see them, posing for the camera and strutting themselves when looking in the mirror. Caleb doesn't have that luxury. He's watched himself throw up, get decked, cry, scream, everything. He's seen how he walks and how he awkwardly talks to people before he could control the clones.
Caleb doesn't like seeing the clones. He doesn't like seeing himself.
-
"That ain't a clone, mate." Nigel taunts from the doorway. Caleb has been staring at the mirror for far too long, criticizing his dull skin and flat hair, his weird shoulder to waist ratio, the bags under his eyes that never seem to go away. Caleb moves away from the mirror, ignoring his room mate's intrusion.
Naturally, by all of the way he is, Nigel doesn't appreciate being ignored. He stomps into the room, heavy boots flaking dirt onto their hardwood floor. He has a plastic bag in one hand, swinging it around, the crinkle noise infuriating. Caleb had gotten used to a world of silence growing up, so he's still adapting to Nigel's living-out-loud personality.
"I bought some stuff today!" The Brit says as he drapes himself over the couch. Caleb sits on the wooden chair that's pulled up across from him.
"Did you buy it or steal it?" Caleb asks, eyeing the bag that Nigel is starting to open.
"I bought some of it. Steal from Hobby Lobby, they're homophobic."
"You're going to get deported." Caleb mutters, and Nigel shrugs, putting down a couple tiny bottles on the table. Caleb squints at them, and Nigel picks up the black one, then tosses it to him.
"Nail varnish. I usually borrow Isabela's but she got me out with 'er today." He smirks, and Caleb's eyes trail to Nigel's chipping purple nail polish.
"Cool." He says, standing up.
Caleb doesn't know why it makes him so uncomfortable to think of boys wearing nail polish. Ever since he met Nigel, the punk had some kind of nail colouring on, however, and Caleb never felt like it was weird; it was just Nigel. Nervously, Caleb gnaws on the ends of his stubby nails as he begins to walk away. He can feel the Brit's eyes on him as he walks to the small kitchenette in their room and starts puttering about.
"Caleb?" Nigel's voice comes from behind him, despite the punk still being on the couch. Caleb jumps at the sudden intrusion, and Nigel chuckles from his spot.
"What?"
"Can I varnish your nails? I'm rubbish at doing them on Isabela and Ran doesn't let me practice on her." Nigel asks, holding up the black bottle once again.
Caleb knows Nigel doesn't actually need to practice this- Isabela goes to a salon when she can sneak out, or has Taylor do them when she can't. This is definitely Nigel's backwards way of asking Caleb if he wants his nails painted. His family would have never allowed him to paint his nails while he was in the house, so now that he's out of it...
"Sure."
-
The black polish shines in the florescent lighting of the hallway, and Caleb can't stop looking at it. It's such a small, simple thing; he can't believe it makes him feel this much better. Nigel walks beside him, a smirk playing on his lips when he catches Caleb admiring his nails.
"You like?" Nigel asks, and Caleb knows he knows the answer.
-
The next part comes when Caleb realizes how long his hair has gotten recently. Not long long, but long enough that it brushes the tops of his ears and starts to flop over his forehead. He doesn't hate the look, but the humidity curls his hair up in an unsightly way, and he is really not a hat guy. He's sitting squashed between Nigel and Kopano on their tiny couch, touching his hair self-consciously every couple minutes. Eventually, Nigel catches on.
"Mate, if you don't stop stabbing me with your bloody elbow, I'mma take it off you." He grunts, and Caleb drops his hand.
"Sorry, my hair is just bugging me." Caleb admits, and Kopano grabs his head like a claw machine and fluffs his hair.
"I like the soft!" He announces as Caleb brain is shaken around by Kopano's sheer strength. Nigel's brilliant laugh cuts through the static once Kopano releases him.
"I like the soft too, Cal, but I can fix ya up if ya want?" Nigel says, and then flicks a curl off of Caleb's ear, making him warm all over.
"You can do that?"
"Who'd ya think trims my hair? Or Ran's hair?" He asked, making snipping motions with his hand. Caleb shrugged.
"Never thought about it."
"All me, baby." Nigel smirks, and Caleb could just shatter at the sight.
"Um... sure. Just don't give me your haircut." Caleb gestures up to Nigel's mohawk, and Kopano guffaws.
"Please, like you are cool enough for spiky hair."
"He could be..." Nigel trails off, something in his eyes.
-
It's an hour later, and Caleb is sitting on top of the toilet seat, holding a plastic bag of his hair. Nigel hasn't told him what he's doing, but by the random snips and the buzzing sounds, its something interesting. At this point, Caleb couldn't care less, all he can focus on is Nigel's cold fingers brushing over his hair gently. Kopano's gone off on a 'date' with Taylor to the cafeteria, so the only sound other than the haircut is the British rock Nigel has playing from the Google Home.
"So, I'mma wax dye your hair so if you ain't a fan, it don't stay. If ya like it, next time Isabela sneaks out, I'll ask 'er to grab me a box of dye for ya." Nigel says, crouching down to look at Caleb. Caleb nods with a smile. He has no fucking clue what Nigel means by wax dye. He closes his eyes again, tilting his face up as Nigel's finger comes under his chin.
There's some spraying and brushing and a tugging at his hair, and Caleb feels like he's sitting in the sun. It takes him a minute to recognize this feeling as happiness.
"Okay, mate, I don't know if you're gonna like the colour, but the style is sick." Nigel chirps, voice crack amplified by his Legacy. It's so fucking cute Caleb wants to throw up.
He stands up, his stiff back reminding him how poor his posture has gotten. Nigel is bouncing on his toes behind him, hands clapped together over his mouth. Caleb turns to the mirror.
And he fucking loves it. His hair is so fucking weird. He raises a hand up to his mouth to cover his smile. The sides are shaven, but tapered to be longer at the top. In fact, Nigel has left almost all his length at the top of his hair, which is a brilliant red. In the front, covering his forehead, his hair flops over in a loose point, more curl than actually styled, but Caleb can see the intention. Beside that, each side of his hair is spiked straight up, defying the laws of gravity.
"Do you like it?" Nigel asks, anxiously. Caleb has been staring at himself for almost a minute of silence.
"Nigel," Caleb turns to him, "this looks so weird. I love it."
Nigel laughs and claps onto Caleb's shoulders, and Caleb loses it.
He kisses him.
Nigel kisses back.
-
Nigel dyes his hair a week later in the showers, and Kopano's face when the two walk into the dorm, hand in hand with stupid hair, is so fucking worth it.
-
Caleb's leaning back against Nigel's chest, reading his boyfriend's World Issues essay when the punk asks him, "should I pierce my nipples?" Caleb scoffs and twists as best as he can to face him.
"What?" Nigel's shoulders raise for a second.
"I dunno. I turn eighteen next week and it'll be legal for me to get it done. Figured... why not?"
"Doesn't it hurt? Like... it sounds like it would suck." Caleb says, and Nigel shakes his head.
"It ain't too bad. Actually, none of 'em are too bad, the only one that felt shitty was the one right here." Nigel raises a hand to his ear, and grabs at the thickest part, where a silver dot emerges. Caleb shifts up so he can see it.
"My parents hate piercings."
"Your parents seem to hate anything different."
"Yeah." Caleb looks down.
"How'd they react knowing you're gay with a punk boyfriend and a black room mate?" Nigel asks, putting his arms behind his head. Caleb picks at his nail polish.
He wants to tell his folks, he really does. But after he mentioned that his room mate was gay the last time he was home, and he saw his brother's reactions, he doesn't know that's the best choice for him. He'll never have to live with his family again, but... he'd still like to have them around, even if they're kinda shitty people.
"Yeah. They don't..." Caleb stops, and Nigel nods.
"That's okay." He reassures, then reaches out to stroke Caleb's cheek.
"I keep almost correcting your paper because of all the Bristish spellings. You also probably should take out all the times you swear, or call the president a 'human ballsack'." Caleb says, and then puts the essay on their coffee table.
"Whatever. Mr. Schott will still give me a passing grade 'cause he's a bloody pushover." Nigel says, gently pulling on Caleb's left earlobe.
"What?" Caleb asks with a laugh, watching Nigel's face.
"You should get an ear piercing."
"What?" His hand reaches up to where Nigel's is, just above his ear.
"It would look cute." Caleb thinks for a minute. It's so fucking stupid to just do - stupid to do on impulse and with no real reason to.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Okay."
-
His hands are so fucking sweaty right now. Nigel's given him what must be a stuffed bear from his childhood, as it's matted and old, to hold onto.
"Are you sure you want to do this? There's gotta be a parlour around here to sneak to or we could ask Professor Nine to let us go?" Nigel asks, concerned, as he heats up a sewing needle.
"Yeah, but ever since we got into all that shit, it's hard to sneak out more than Isabela and one person. And the school holds all of our identification and paperwork, so I couldn't prove I'm over sixteen. And Nine... I don't want to be bullied by a teacher for asking instead of doing." Caleb reasons, and Nigel pats his hand.
"Okay. So uh... I'm gonna mark the spot, and then put a needle through it, and then we're gonna put one of these in." He explains, holding up a new pack of earrings.
"I trust you." Caleb says, and Nigel takes a deep breath.
"Here we go."
-
"That ain't a clone, babe." Nigel taunts from the doorway. Caleb has been staring at the mirror for far too long, admiring his hairstyle, eyes finding his new silver hoop, following his black fingernails as he spikes up his hair. Caleb moves away from the mirror, and stalks over to his boyfriend.
"I know, just... looking." He says with a smile, wrapping an arm around Nigel's slender waist.
"Mm, I'm just lookin' too." Nigel mutters, and dips down to kiss the corner of Caleb's lips. He pulls away, and looks at them in the mirror.
They look so weird, and Caleb loves it. He looks so weird, and he loves it.
Caleb meets Nigel's eyes in the mirror.
"Thank you."