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Zuzu nervously bounced her foot, her eyes staring intently at clock's second hand as it continued to tick upward, slower and slower as each second got closer to their time of release from the mind-numbing droning of their math teacher, who had taken it upon himself to talk about the properties of triangles for a whole hour as an extension of the ludicrously heavy math textbook they were given at the beginning of the year. She scanned the room, sensing the growing restlessness among the other students and began to plan her escape. No, escape was a heavy word, especially considering she was never the first one out the door. She always wanted to get out the moment the bell rang, but found herself having to shake, prod, or slap Yuya awake by the end of the lesson. Remembering Yuya, she turned slightly and found him fast asleep, as if their math teacher's droning was some sort of comforting lullaby. And I'm going to have to wake him again. That's great. 'I'll stay awake this time,' he said. 'I'll make sure that I pay attention this time," he said. And yet? He always manages to fall asleep by the end of the lesson. Zuzu smiled to herself a bit. Yuya seemed mellow when he slept. A more relaxed, at peace Yuya, a Yuya that wasn't constantly using big gestures and emotions to cover up what he really felt. She knew that ever since his father had be proclaimed missing (presumed dead), Yuya tried to bounce back up and insist that it didn't bother him, that he knew his father would come back some day, and that by doing his best, he could maybe lure his father back prove everyone wrong. He harbored a deep sadness, a sadness that seemed to linger with him, even when he claimed that he was happy, she could sense the hollowness in it. He wasn't happy. And even if he was for a moment, it was (most of the time) overshadowed by his brain subconsciousnessly focusing on what he could do to bring his father back, in his mind, he seemed come up with the idea that by dueling his hardest, he could possibly lure his father back into his life, and maybe existence if things really did go wrong. She sighed. She sometimes blamed herself for not being there for him enough, maybe not being a good friend at times, and being able to see the sadness within him and not being able to help. She wanted to help so badly, but she knew she couldn't adjust his views of he wasn't aware they were skewed. Why would he want to acknowledge the sadness within himself if he couldn't see it? The ring of the bell snapped Zuzu out of her stupor, realizing she had been staring at Yuya the whole time. While she wasn't doing it on purpose, she quickly turned away, cheeks starting to flush, once she realized what it may look like to those her weren't aware of her train of thought. Of course, Yuya was still sleeping through the bell with relatively no problems other than a slight position adjustment here or there. Zuzu got up and shook him a little bit, prodding his arms, all to no avail. Well, looks like we're going to have to do this the hard way. Pulling out her precious lemon handle fan, she pulled back a bit for dramatic flair and swung down, decking him at the split center of his head.
"Huh? Ow, that hurts..." a drowsy Yuya mumbled, rubbing his head for effect. He has a cute morning voice, Zuzu thought, but quickly smothered the idea. He had promised to take her for boba after school ended, and she was here to collect.
"Well, it may not have hurt quite as badly if you woke up before I hit you. Or maybe, not sleeping at all." Zuzu chastised.
Yuya looked slightly hurt, either from the remark or from her fan, so Zuzu decided to pull back.
"Besides, now that you're awake, you promised boba, remember? There's a really good place I wanna try!" She prodded.
"Oh yeah, I remember that! My memory never fails to serve me!" He pronounced triumphantly.
"Are you asking me to challenge that?"
"Depends on how you're going to do it. Are you going to list it, or give me a real You Show experience?"
"Oh please. You'd get caught up in the theatrics if I did that. You don't have that long of an attention span you know."
"Ok, and? It's still longer than yours."
"It's really not."
"Oh yeah? I'll give you an example.You got sidetracked from us going to get boba. I actually remembered it. Point for me~"
"Well since you remember it, why don't we just go?"
"Sure."
A few seconds of silence pass before it dawns on him. He doesn't remember where it is.
"Zuzu...?"
"Yeah?"
"I, I don't remember where it is."
"Oh come on. It's fine, I'll just lead you there."
Grabbing Yuya's hand, Zuzu lead him to the Boba shop. His hands are warm, though slightly solid, she noted. She turned to Yuya who was slightly red from the sudden contact.
After walking for some time, they both finally made it to the shop.
Yuya made his way to the door, pulling at it with a flourish. It didn't open.
"Wait, what?" he mumbled. "Shouldn't this open? Why-"
Zuzu tapped his shoulder.
"Read the door Yuya."
After about 5 seconds came the faint realization.
"Oh. What an odd door," Yuya said as he pushed it open, less enthusiastically this time.
Zuzu smiled, "It's really not all that odd. You just can't read."
Yuya rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Oh please, like you can?"
Zuzu simply laughed.
They both went inside slowly. Zuzu looked around the shop, amazed with all the mellow lights and the soft music echoing through it. While she was admiring the aesthetic of the place, Yuya tapped her shoulder, pointed to the menu items, and joked, "Man, they always have to make things hard for indecisive people like me, huh. I'm already struggling with the small text, but now you're making it so that there's 96 options? I just came for some purple milk tea."
Zuzu snickered. He could always find the humor in anything. She loved that about him.
"Oh please. You won't be able to decipher what they mean by the time you some how read it!" she added.
"Exactly! Do they really have to add 70 different adjectives before the name? Like, can I just go up there and ask for purple?"
"It's like one or two things stick with you and then you remember them solely based on those two things. Kinda like how there are various Action Cards on the field, but somehow Miracle and Evade always seem to be glued to your sticky fingers."
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Besides, aren't you the one who always seems to draw Melody, the melodious songstress or something?" Yuya paused, his face lighting up and gasping teasingly, "Zuzu! Are you cutting your cards?"
"Why of course! I obviously can see my cutting through the sleeves of my cards. People should do it more often."
Anxiously watching the line, Zuzu realized that they hadn't figured out what they wanted. They were going to be ordering next, so they should probably be figuring out what they wanted.
"Ok, we should probably order. What do you want?"
"The purple one. With pearls in it."
"Do you know what it's called? Or are you just being silly?"
"I think it's called Taro."
"Cool. I'm getting Jasmine & Mango. Now, who's ordering?"
"I'll do it. You get nervous anyway."
"I don't! But I'll take you up on your offer."
Once they ordered, they found a table, a snuggly table off to the side, and made camp there. Waiting for their orders was the worst part. Since you would have to hear them call our your number, you could easily mishear it, or they could mess up the number, or you could just not hear it and not get your drinks at all. Zuzu looked at their order number on the receipt. 46.
"Hey Yuya, how was your day?" Zuzu asked.
"Huh? Oh, it was fine, I guess. Whatever. I dueled some kid and lost, just barely though! You should have seen it, he was on the ropes until he activated magic cylinder. It was crazy. I gave my very best dueltaining for it too."
Zuzu frowned slightly. She could tell that it wasn't necessarily about giving the audience a show. He was doing it again. He kept on trying to run away from his sadness.
"Why do you dueltain?"
Yuya laughed a bit, not taking the question seriously, and answered, "To please the audience of course. Everybody loves a good show."
"Well, what about you? What about dueltaining gives you the thrill?"
"Well I love it when people smile, and well," Yuya cut himself off suddenly and started again, "I know that if I do well enough, I guess I can carry on my dad's legacy."
He paused again, starting to backtrack.
"What about you Zuzu? Why do you dueltain?" He said defensively. He didn't like confronting his emotions, and this conversation was starting to veer in that direction.
"Well, I guess I was born into it. I just was taught and I slowly learned to love the thrill of it. The idea that winning is not the complete goal really resonated with me I guess. Then again, what can a 5 year old see the value of, other an playing of course?"
"Number 46?" a voice cried out.
Zuzu stood up and walked toward the counter, showed their receipt, grabbed their drinks, and sat back down in the booth.
"Here's you're Taro-I mean purple drink," Zuzu smiled, sliding the drink over to Yuya.
"Thanks."
He sipped at his drink nervously, putting his straw in a specific area everytime he drank, swirling the drink with his straw for effect. Zuzu watched, confused, as the jelly floated around in the cup, only to sink back down to the bottom.
Zuzu giggled, "Why do you do that with your straw? Haven't you been told not to play with your food?"
"Sure, but I'm more surprised that people don't drink like this on the regular. Don't you want to ensure just the right amount of pearls-well in your case jelly-when you sip?"
"That's so weird. Of course that's something you would do." Zuzu said quietly, effectively closing the conversation, leaving them both to drink in silence, just observing the shop and taking it all in. The door quietly creaking open when new customers came in, the slam of tables near them followed by raucous laughter, the sporadic calling of orders and the humming of the ice machine at the back of the counter, waiting to be used. In the midst of it all, the AC turned on, adding an extra low groaning in background.
"Hey Yuya?"
"Yeah?"
"I know this is really, really sudden, and it's totally fine to say no, but, can we hold hands? Your hands are really warm, and it's kinda cold in here."
"Wha? Oh, yeah, yeah sure." stuttered Yuya, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible, though inside he was quaking.(sister shook) He really liked it when Zuzu had held his hand, though he was surprised she felt the same way.
She held his hand. Her hand is soft. And warm. I could do this all day, Yuya thought happily.
Zuzu wanted to plan. She felt that it was her responsiblity as a friend to bring up what he couldn't see, and while it may not have been her business, she was worried about him. However, all of that was thrown out the window when her mouth decided to approve of words before she processed what she was saying.
"Yuya. I'm worried about you. You seem a lot sadder these days, and while I know that it's normal to be sad for a while, it seems like you're always thinking about something else. I know it's only been a few months since your dad left, and I think it's really taking a toll on you. I know it's none of my business, but you never talk about how you feel. You always turn the spotlight on someone else when it comes to it. I want you to talk to me, Yuya. Please. You can't keep running away from your emotions." She said softly, only loud enough for the two of them to hear. And as far as she was concerned? They were the only two here.
Yuya wavered, eyes starting to tear up. He paused for a second. Don't cry. It's fine, right? If I'm feeling sad I just have to ignore it and go back to being fine. Right?
"H-huh? It's fine, I've been doing fine. I mean, I've just been engaging myself in my dueling a lot more. It's weird, it's like I think I can 'lure' my dad back to us or something. Can you believe it? Ridiculous, am I right?" Yuya chuckled weakly, turning away from Zuzu once he was done.
"Yuya, it's not ridiculous, I just don't understand the reasoning. Why would you need to 'lure' him back to you? It's not your responsibility, is it?"
"But you still have to fix problems that you're still partially the cause of, right?" Yuya's voice got softer as he spoke, cracking at the end of his sentence. He quickly put on his orange goggles and felt better in the security that, if he did cry, no one would be able to tell for sure.
"...Cause of?"
"Y-yeah." Yuya sniffled.
Zuzu stayed quiet, knowing that when Yuya answered like that, he usually would give some supplement after he gathered his thoughts.
"You k-know what happened that night Zuzu? The night he disappeared?
Zuzu shook her head.
Yuya continued shakily, "He was going to leave, and, and, you know what? He asked me if I wanted to come with him to his meeting with his managers. He said we could go to Mc.Donald's afterwards. And you know what I said? You want to know what my dumb stupid brain decided?"
"What?"
"Him and I had gotten into an argument a couple hours before hand, so I could tell he was trying to make up for it. You know what? I was so selfish, utterly stupid in my anger, and I told him no. I was still angry at him, and so, he left for his meeting. I woke up the next day and-" Deep breath. "He-he was gone...and it's my fault. If I had gone, maybe he would have come back, maybe I would be able to know what happened, maybe we would have made up, maybe I could have convinced him to stay home, maybe it was planned and my being there would have thrown things off, maybe if I had said yes and gone, he would," Yuya choked a sob, "He would have come back home. The house is so empty, with my mom in the kitchen trying out various recipes, just working with her hands so she won't have to sit idly and think. I don't want to think about it. The guilt eats me up, everyday I think about what would have happened if I had gone with him. I live with the reality that my last words to him were, 'No, I'm still angry.' I'm certainly not the best kid, and to think that we never made up, that the last thing I did was reject his offer. No matter how much people tell me that it wasn't my fault, that it was an accident, I still feel this disgusting guilt." he spat out, shaking with emotion, more emotion than he had ever shown regarding the subject of his dad's disappearance.
Zuzu paused, shocked at the sudden outburst. This was real. This was what he kept on his shoulders. The air felt suffocating, an almost unstable nature to it, the tension palpable and latched on their backs. She spoke softly, rubbing his hand as she spoke.
"Yuya, it's not your fault, the longer you keep ignoring the guilt you feel, the more it's going to fester. Of course it's going to hurt, but trying to pretend to be happy while not dealing with the issue isn't the answer. You need to go through it. You need to allow yourself to breath, and when you do, you'll be able to understand much better than before. I mean, I've gone through it, when my mom passed away. I'm sure you remember that saga."
"Y-yeah."
"While you don't need to scream it from the rooftops, you should talk about it more. The guilt & sadness you feel, I mean. People will support you, ok?"
"But he always said, 'When you feel sad, make others happy, and that happiness will swing back to you, like a pendulum.' I've been doing that, I've lived by his legacy, yet his leaving left me with a hole filled with guilt & sadness. I want to follow his legacy. Zuzu, please, tell me, why can't I let this roll this off my back? It's the last thing I can do and even then I can't honor my dad in death." choked Yuya. (He's just missing, not dead, but hey emotions do the no logic)
Zuzu paused as she watched his orange goggles fill up. At this point, she had to craft her words carefully, or things would get very bad. After sitting for a while in the background noise of Yuya's sniffling, Zuzu softly whispered, "Yuya. It's okay to sit and dwell in your own sadness sometimes. Sometimes, it's okay if the pendulum stops because it's nearly fallen off the chain from swinging so much. Do you understand? By stopping the pendulum, you allow yourself to think. By stopping the pendulum, you aren't dishonoring him, you're actually doing the opposite. By allowing yourself to process what happened, you allow your pendulum to swing with more rigor than before when you're ready to start swinging again. Your pendulum is hurting. You need to allow yourself that time to heal," she paused, not sure how to finish, and finally looked back at Yuya, who was fiddling with the locks of his goggles. She smiled. When it came down to it, he really was a sweet boy, he just got caught up in his own head sometimes. Zuzu continued, finally deciding what she wanted to say.
"Sometimes stopping your pendulum for a little bit is the best way to make sure it doesn't self implode."
Zuzu looked at Yuya as he lifted his orange goggles from his eyes back onto his head, tears slowly forming in his eyes. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, eventually making eye contact with her. Sniffling, he slowly nodded, mouthing, "Thanks, Zuzu."