Work Text:
Beel was the first to notice.
It started shortly after freeing Belphie, with her passing him a few bites from her plate to his toward the end of meals. She’d wink and smile, so he didn’t think anything of it, beside her being nice.
Then it started with her giving him her snacks between classes or after school.
But he knew something was off when she started skipping breakfast. She loved breakfast!
It was subtle, but she’d rush in late, fill her plate and chatter away quickly while taking a few mouthfuls. Then she’d gasp at the time, and rush to the kitchen and ‘pack’ it away for school before rushing out the door, a small piece of toast hanging out of her mouth for show.
None of the other brothers seemed to notice.
A week went by. She looked pale.
Her workouts in the gym didn’t stop, but she looked more tired and didn’t stay as long. Her eyes started getting dark circles under them. She switched from her tank top and shorts into a baggy t-shirt and long sweatpants.
Seven more days.
‘I’m just tired,’ she giggled, as Asmo chastised and bombarded her with creams and lotions, crying about her skin suffering. He gave in when she agreed to a full spa day with him to help her relax.
Another week.
She started wearing a baggy sweater at home, claiming she was just cold.
She always had a cup of tea in her hand. She giggled when offered a treat ‘Oh, I’d love it, but this tea tastes so good! I don’t want to spoil either taste!’ With enough pressure she’d take it and save it for later. He never saw when ‘later’ was.
Her cheeks hollowed. The shine left her hair.
She fell asleep while studying. Her feet dragged.
Eventually, she rivaled Belphie with her late wake up times.
Enough was enough.
She slipped a fried batwing onto his plate with a wink and he put it right back. Her breath caught.
“Thanks, but I’m full”. He said evenly.
The room stopped.
“Eeeeeh??? Beel’s full? What, are you sick? What happened?” Mammon gasped.
Levi looked up from his D.D.D. and snapped a picture.
‘Avatar of Gluttony is full!! The world is ending. LOL!’
He tapped out on the screen before posting it to some group.
“Nothing’s wrong, I just don’t want anymore. You eat it; I’m good”. Beel stretched, pushing his plate away. He cocked an eyebrow.
Her hand shook.
“Oh, sorry. I’m just a little full is all…” she was quiet, but Satan’s ears perked up.
“Oh? You’ve hardly eaten anything. Is it not to your liking?” He looked a little upset, hand coming to his chest. He glared at Mammon. “Did you not cook them well?”
“No, no, they’re delicious!” She cut in before Mammon had a chance to yell. “I just had a big lunch.”
“No you didn’t.”
Heads turned toward Beel. She bit her lip, hands clenched into fists in her lap.
“You gave it to me,” Beel said. “You didn’t eat anything today.”
Lucifer's gaze narrowed and he glanced between the two.
Panicking, she pushed her chair back. Beel put his foot down behind the wooden leg, stopping it from moving.
"Is everything alright?” Lucifer’s voice was calm behind his steepled fingers.
“I’m fine, I’m just not hungry today.” She swallowed.
“Should we get you some human food you would like better?”
“No, it’s okay.”
“Then eat.”
Beel held his breath. She and Lucifer locked eyes over the table.
“Ummmm, hey, it’s not a big deal if you don’t like the food you know? Mammon’s a terrible cook.” Asmo chimed in and laughed, but his eyes were concerned.
“Oi! I am not!”
“No, it’s fine. See?” she smiled and picked up a bat wing, biting it in half. She munched away happily, making a big show of eating it. “I don’t want this to be a big deal.”
The tension eased out of the room and everyone started talking again, throwing casual insults at each other.
Lucifer ate slowly, but his eyes rarely left her plate. He nodded at her once she finished and returned his attention to his own food.
Everything seemed normal again, Beel thought. Confusion swirled in his gut. Maybe he was wrong? But he had felt her hunger.
After the dishes were done, she went to her room to study, promising to come join for movie night in a few hours.
Maybe he had overreacted. He hesitated to knock, feeling bad he had embarrassed her. About to leave, he paused when he heard her coughing.
“Are you okay?”
He knocked. No answer. He tried the doorknob, finding it unlocked. When he opened it, he heard her retching. The toilet flushed.
Without thinking, he was in the bathroom, watching her wipe her mouth clean with a damp cloth.
Without her baggy sweater, her small frame was painfully thin. Her veins popped against her skin, so pale compared to before.
He smelled the vomit on her breath before she even spoke.
“Beel, I-”
He grabbed her hand, engulfing it down to her tiny wrist. So small. So fragile.
“You’re explaining this to Lucifer,” was all he said.
She dug her heels in uselessly as she was dragged from the room.
“No, Beel, it’s nothing! I’m fine!”
“You are not.”
They had made it halfway to Lucifer’s study before she shouted “Beel, STOP!”
The pact froze his feet, but his anger rose, burning up from his gut. He growled, teeth grinding.
“Don’t… Do that…” He said, his voice deeper than he wanted.
“I’m sorry, Beel, I’m sorry, but don’t make me…” she pulled on her wrist desperately. “Please, you’re hurting me.”
He let go and she tumbled back, hitting the floor. Her concentration broken, his feet released from their spot and he crouched down next to her.
Her wrist was red, looking as though it was already bruising. This couldn’t be normal for a human.
The fear that poured off of her hit his nose hard. His demon side swelled, hungry for easy prey. She looked so weak, so scared. A perfect target. He tried not to growl. He failed.
“Either you talk now, or I’m bringing Lucifer to you”.
“You’re-’re scaring me” she sobbed, tears pricking at her eyes as she tried to scoot away.
“And you’re scaring me.”
He caught her cheek in his palm, and tilted her head to look at him.
She started crying, small little sobs tugging through her and he pulled her into his chest. She was so cold, sickly cold. He didn’t wait and picked her up, carrying her back to her room, hoping it would calm her down.
She weighs so little now, he thought, How did we let her get this bad?
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, it’s just. It’s just been so much. It’s a lot being here. I don’t want to eat anything...”
He sat on her bed and grabbed her blanket, tugging it around her. She curled into his chest as he stroked her back.
“I just, everyone here is so… I’m the only one...like this.”
Like what? Human?
“Solomon is human.” he tried. He needed to get Lucifer. Or Satan even. Not wanting to eat wasn’t something he understood.
“Solomon’s perfect,” she laughed bitterly.
“Not like you are”, he said, “you’re perfect too.”
She sniffed and shook her head, hiding in his chest, pulling the blanket over her head.
“I’m really not.”
They sat for a while, her on his lap, his mind racing.
“Even the angels have to eat,” he said gently.
“I’m not an angel. No matter what you guys think.” Her voice cut him, leaving a sting behind. Was this about Lilith?
“You need to eat. You’re so weak right now. Don’t deny your hunger.”
She met his soft, violet gaze and chest going tight at how much pain he was showing. He didn’t understand though. How could he?
“Human die if they don’t eat”. His words were so soft, the implicit threat hiding just beneath them.
She gulped, trying to swallow the bile at the back of her throat.
"Dying doesn’t scare me Beel. I’ve done that already."
Her flat eyes stilled him, twisting his confusion into icy fear.
He saw her small hand reach around her throat. Just like…
“You still think about that?”
She looked away.
“Every day. Every time I see him. Anytime I hear him laugh. All I can see is…”
He pulled her tight, willing the images to go away, trying to shield her from her own mind.
“I wish- I wish sometimes I had been the one to disappear. Not her. Now she’s gone, and I’m here, but… am I supposed to be here? Am I the reason she's dead? Or is it Belphie? Am I even myself? I don’t feel real anymore.”
He didn’t have the answers. Hot guilt burned down his cheeks as he cried softly.
They’d all pretended it was fine. Maybe ignoring it had made it easier for them.
But not for her.
They rocked softly on her bed until a small ‘ping’ pulled them out of the cocoon.
“Movie’s starting soon.” Her voice sounded normal, as if nothing he had just witnessed had happened. The glow from her screen cast shadows upwards on her face, highlighting her gaunt features. Was it so easy for her to pretend for them? “Levi says I need to go break the tie for which one we should watch.”
He couldn't let this keep going.
He wouldn't let her die again.
Leaning back, he lifted her chin with a finger. Her eyes were puffy from crying. He swiped a stray tear off her cheek.
“We need to talk to Lucifer-” He held up a hand when she started to protest “and tell him that you’re not feeling well.”
She huffed, but nodded, looking down. He lifted her chin again.
“And I think you should talk to Barbatos as well.”
She narrowed her eyes. “He’s the one that-”
“That understands this stuff. If anyone can sort it out, it’s him.”
She sighed and her D.D.D pings again. She glanced down. Her shoulders fell and she reached for his hand.
“Can, you… Would you come with me, if I go talk to him?”
Her soft squeeze reassured him that she wasn't fighting anymore.
“Oh?” He grinned trying to break the somber mood. “You mean I could get a chance to get more of his amazing baking? I wouldn't let you go alone if you tried!”
She laughs, and the smile lights up her face. She reached up and ruffled Beel’s hair. His fear melted away, seeing some hope back in her eyes.
“Come on,” he tugged her up right. “I’m getting some snacks I want to eat with you. What do you want?”
She reached for her sweater, pulling it down over her head. Beel stood patiently, waiting for her to choose. He'd go to the human world to get her food if he had to! Anything to see her eat again.
“Ummm, I guess popcorn?” she said, head poking through the heavy shirt. He grinned.
“Mmmmm, popcorn. I’m going to make four types. And maybe chips. There might still be some cookies left…”
The tightness in her gut slowly relaxed its hold, and for the first time in weeks, the thought of food didn’t make her sick.
She took his hand and he squeezed it gently as he walked next to her, chatting about enough snacks to feed an army.
The bickering in the distance grew louder, grounding her back into reality.
Maybe she was going to be okay.