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“Why are you up so early in the morning?”
It came out as more of a demand than a question, Nagi’s voice laden with judgment. It seemed rhetorical—most of the questions Nagi asked were—but something about his tone made Barou inclined to give him a response.
“Why are you?”
Nagi laughed, sitting down cross-legged next to Barou.
“I realized you weren’t next to me.”
Barou hummed, looking at Nagi through his peripheral vision. He could tell he was wearing his shirt, though Barou was confused as to how he got it as he didn't remember giving it to him, and his hair was held back by a thin hairband.
He looked nice.
Barou would never tell him that (their relationship didn't exactly have a place for compliments. Barou oftenly thought of them, but he knew that actually expressing them would just complicate things and make the thin line of whatever that they were constantly traipsing ever the thinner, so he never did. But he wanted to. Sometimes) but he wasn't going to lie to himself and say that he didn't look good, or pretend that his breath didn't hitch when Nagi’s hand brushed against his as he lowered himself next to Barou.
It was way too early in the morning.
Nagi probably knew that, motivated to catch Barou at a time where he has not yet dressed himself in his daily facade of cold, unimpressed, indifference. It took a lot for most people to get a single sentence out of him but here Nagi was, prying and prodding him for a reaction that he knew he was going to get.
But then again, Nagi was more than “most people”.
“Is there a reason why you’re here,” Barou finally asked, looking at the greenery past the pool.
“I live here,” Nagi deadpanned, resting his head against Barou’s shoulder, “Is there a reason you’re here?”
Well he’s got me there.
“I couldn't sleep.”
“Is that so,” Nagi asked, running his hands through the water, “You could have woken me up. I would have given you medicine.”
“That’s not necessary.”
Nagi stared at Barou and Barou kept his gaze forward, compelled to ignore the sickly sweet feeling growing in his chest.
“Barou,” Nagi began, looking up at him with those big fucking eyes of his, “You know I care about you—”
“ Stop . I don’t need this today.”
“Then why are you here,” Nagi snapped, moving Barou’s chin with his thumb so they were now looking at each other, eye contact and all, “Why do you keep on coming here ?”
It comes out in a rush, a flood; it was something unanticipated but yet completely expected. That final ball dropping moment.
Barou didn't have an answer.
He didn't have an answer for most of the questions that Nagi asked him, this one especially drawing a large blank.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know,” Nagi repeated, kissing his teeth, “That’s not good enough for me anymore. You have to understand that.”
Barou nodded, looking at his reflection in the pool water. He could see Nagi stand up, feeling the air around him revert back into cold, empty, space.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sure you are,” Nagi sighed, turning around, “Just—whenever you’re ready, show yourself out. I’m going back to bed.”
Disappointment didn't sound good on Nagi, but Barou imagined that it was a tone that he was going to have to get used to.