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"Do it." The words echo in Jungkook's head. He's standing on a skyscraper in the dark, looking below at the streets of Seoul. What will his Hyungs do when he's dead? He's tired of the fame. Of the drugs. Of the pointless sex. He's tired of life.
He wishes BTS hadn't gotten famous in America. If it weren't for America, he never would've gotten into drugs. If it weren't for America, he would still be living simply, everything under control. Now, he's out of control. He's unhinged and off the handle.
He has plenty of time to decide whether he's going to jump off the skyscraper or not. Earlier, he was certain he would do it. That was, until he looked down from the top of the skyscraper intoo the large abyss of concrete waiting for him down below.
He sits down and lets the soothing air blow all around him. Every time he looks down, fear fills him. If he wants to jump of the building, he'll have to do it with his eyes closed so he doesn't think about the absolute pain waiting for him down below.
He hates himself. Memories pass through his head of all of the bad thing's he's done in the past and he thinks he doesn't deserve to live. What would his fans do if they found out he was using illegal drugs and popping pills?
He can already imagine it. Hundreds of letters asking him to get kicked out of BTS would be sent to BigHit. And Jungkook wouldn't be able to blame the fans. After all, he'd done something completely illegal and frowned upon.
He thinks about the words that echo in his head and where they come from. "There's nothing left for you in life. Kill yourself." And he can't disagree with his manager's words. There is nothing left for him in life. Things can only get worse from here and he wants to save himself the misery of life.
Jungkook is hooked on pills. He's nothing in life. He'll end up dead either by getting murdered through hanging around the wrong crowd and making bad decisions or by suicide. By the looks of things, it'll be the latter.
Jungkook thinks about the bad things in life and tears come to his eyes. There's really nothing left in life. He sobs. Impulsivity is always what gets Jungkook in trouble. But, today, it's what saves him from misery. He gets up, eyes closed, and walks forward and forward until he feels his foot slip on the edge of the skyscraper.
His eyes open and his hand desperately claw the air, trying to save himself. But he's already falling and after a couple of seconds, he calms down. He fears touching the concrete below and the wind is so strong that his eyelids close themselves to protect his eyes.
He doesn't know when he'll hit the ground. The fear from not knowing plagues his mind and paranoia sets in. He suddenly regrets jumping. He wishes he was safe at home. But then he remembers that home sucks and maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to jump off the skyscraper.
He thinks of everything good and bad from small memories that feel like dreams to vivid memories that - there's shocking pain, a thump, and then darkness.