Work Text:
The four of them sat together in a train car on the Denliner. The lights were dimmed and the infinite expanse out the window was in what could be called 'dusk' if one pondered such things and their meaning. For now, it just meant that there was something approaching privacy. As much privacy as you could get with four people in the same train car, anyway.
Four cups of coffee on the table, provided by Naomi. Red, Blue, Yellow and Purple. Momo, Ura, Kin, Ryuu.
"Everyone." Kintaros said flatly. "Well, everyone except Ryuutaros."
A small pile of crayons flew across the car, bouncing off of the horn atop Kintaros' head. He did not react.
"This is a matter for adults. A category that does not include you. I'm sorry, but I didn't come here seeking advice from you." He nodded with a grunt.
Ryuutaros leapt from his seat and stomped his foot on the table before him. "Then why did you invite me?!"
Urataros cleared his throat. "He didn't."
"Oh. Did you?" He asked.
"Nobody invited you. You invited yourself." Momotaros grumbled and made a shooing motion. "Maybe go un-invite yourself, brat."
Ryuuta hopped off of the table, collected his crayons from the table and ran into an adjacent car. "FINE! See if I care!"
Urataros nodded, pulling Ryuuta's abandoned coffee over beside his cup. "Right. So. You needed my advice-"
"Our advice." Momotaros corrected, taking a sip of his coffee.
"My advice," Ura insisted, "on a matter of love. Is that right?"
"Eh?" Momo's gaze darted between Ura and Kin. He spilled just a bit of the coffee. "Eh??? Wait, what? I'm just now hearing about this."
"As to be expected." Urataros shrugged. "It's Hana."
Kintaros rubbed his face, gold cheeks tinged red.
Momotaros slammed his hands on the table, jerking straight up out of his seat. "WHAT."
"Please. Not so loud. I'm already about to cry as it is." Kintaros covered his eyes.
Urataros grabbed at the coffee cups to prevent them from spilling.
"Senpai." Ura chuckled at Momotaros. "Please, calm yourself. You'll upset our friendly bear."
"But... just... that..." Momo fumed and suppressed all kinds of insults he wanted to fling at that snot-nosed woman. Instead, he took deep breaths, calmed himself and sat down. Arms crossed, legs crossed and faced very nearly crossed in irritation. "Alright."
Silence.
"Kin-chan?" Urataros tilted his head.
He jerked his head up, having fallen asleep. "Huh?"
Momotaros grumbled. "We're trying to help you with your woman troubles. You need advice on asking her out? You could write a note. Or like, a thousand notes. Shower her with that paper."
Urataros lifted a finger and then paused, rubbing his chin.
"No, nothing like that. We um... she knows. She is... not displeased by this development."
Momo and Ura both turned toward him, equally shocked.
Urataros recovered faster, chuckling. "What a development. So you want to know what now, hrm?"
Kintaros nodded. "Yes. Badly. Terribly. I don't know what comes next."
Momotaros cackled. "Even I know that much."
"Hm?" Urataros tilted his head off to the side. "Enlighten us."
"Listen." Momo leaned forward. "Bear. Kintaros."
Kintaros nodded. "Peach. Momotaros."
"No it's not a game, just- Okay look. Listen. This is beginning. The rising action. You've made your grand entrance into her heart and you're there to stay. So next-"
He paused. Kin leaned in. Urataros sipped Ryuuta's coffee.
"You have to give her a climax."
Urataros promptly spit out Ryuuta's coffee.
"Right." Kintaros nodded. "Of course."
"W-Wait, Kin-chan, I don't think-"
"Turtle." Kintaros said solemnly. "You are versed well in the ways of the heart, but I feel that our Peach is well versed in the ways of the stage. Love is a matter of the heart, but is it not also a performance?"
"I really don't think that's the issue here. Senpai, Kin-chan, I uh, don't think... ..." Urataros looked at the two of them. "Neither of you know what that would mean in this context, do you?"
Both nodded.
Kintaros pounded a fist against his chest. "Of course!"
Momotaros let out a small scoff. "Turtle. Listen. You may know all about women and love, but the climax expert is right here." He made a small thumb gesture, pointing to himself. "Me."
Urataros just rubbed his head and sighed.
"Excitement. The feeling of a great height. Perhaps an amusement park? A good idea. It seems like something she'd like. A roller coaster... or maybe she doesn't like things on tracks?" Kintaros stood and began to pace. "This advice will keep us both from being in tears. I thank you. You're both better friends than I could have hoped for." Kintaros nodded vigorously, patting them both firmly on the shoulder before he took his leave.
Momo crossed his arms, nodding. "I'm his friend."
"So am I, senpai." Urataros shook his head.
"He said me first."
"He said," Ura groaned. " 'You're both'. No names."
"He looked at me first." Momo nodded. "Definitely meant me."
Urataros shook his head again. "I'm sure he did."
