Chapter Text
“Are you sure this’ll work, Five?” I asked. He shot an icy look my way, one that said ‘If you ask that again, you’re not coming with me.’
I nodded, looking over the fence. The deadline was coming up pretty soon. Would we make it?
....Was that a fire extinguisher?
“Now!” Five yelled, grabbing my hand.
The next thing I knew, I was face down on the floor.
I stood up quickly, looking around “What?!”
“Does anyone else see...little Number Five, or is that just me?”
I looked down. The first thing I noticed, I was....a lot shorter. And a 13 year old.
What?
Five was also younger. He looked exactly like he did when I just met him. Which was strange...
...Because that was 45 fucking years ago.
“Shit.”
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“What’s the date? The exact date.” Five asked, grabbing bread. I was leaning against counter, watching them.
“The 24th...”
“Of?”
“March.”
He paused. “Good.” The large man, who I assumed was Luther, looked confused. “So, are we gonna talk about what just happened? And who the hell that is?” He pointed at
me. I rolled my eyes “I’m Sam. Samuel Brandt.” “And...?”
Five sighed “He’s my boyfriend. Now can we please get back to the matter at hand?” He stated. Luther stood up “It’s been 17 years!” He said. “It’s been a lot longer than that.” Five retorted, teleporting across the room “I didn’t miss that..” Luther muttered. I smirked. A different one cut in this time, Who I assumed was Diego. “Where’d you go?” He asked. “The future. It’s shit, by the way-“ “Called it!”
“And did you meet him there?” He pointed at me, “No, he tackled me in by mistake.” I said. Jesus, this family was dysfunctional.
Five sighed “Ah, I should’ve listened to the old man. You know, jumping through space is one thing. Jumping through time is a toss of the dice.” He looked up. “Nice dress.” “Oh, well, danke!” Vanya looked up “Wait, how did you get back?”
“In the end, I had to project our consciousnesses forward into a suspended quantum state version of ourselves, that exists across every possible instance of time.” Five explained
Show off.
“That makes no sense.”
“Well, it would if you were smarter.” Diego shot up, only to be blocked by Luther. “How long were you both there?” He asked “45 years. Give or take.” They both sat down “So what are you saying? That you’re 58..?” Luther asked “No, my consciousness is 58. Apparently, my body is now 13 again.” Five said. “Wait, how does that even work?” Vanya asked, confused. “I told him the equations were off. And guess who was right?” “Shut up.”
Five picked up the newspaper, looking at the front page. “Hmm. Guess I missed the funeral.” “How do you know about that?” I rolled my eyes “What part of ‘the future’ do you not understand, you dummkopf?” I said. Five chuckled at the insult. “Heart failure, huh?” “Yeah-“ “No.” Luther cut Diego off. The rest of the family averted their eyes. “Nice to see nothings changed!” Five walked out of the room. I smiled “Nice to meet you~”I went to go follow Five. But then, the one wearing the dress stopped me “Wait wait waitwaitwait-“ I turned to him “Yes?” He took a deep breath
“Boyfriend?”
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Five had changed into one of his old uniforms. I had just stuck my old hoodie on. “Hey, it’s like nothing changed!” I said, smiling at him. He rolled his eyes.
Vanya walked up to us “Nice to know dad didn’t forget me.” Five said, turning to her. She stayed silent “We read your book, by the way.” I went silent too, looking down at my shoes.
He paused “It was...good. All things considered. Definitely ballsy, giving up the family secrets. I’m sure that went over well.”
She sighed “They hate me.” I felt a twinge of pity. Five didn’t seem to care “Well, there are worse things that can happen.” “You mean like what happened to Ben?” Five looked at her “...Was it bad?” He asked. She nodded.
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They headed outside for the funeral. I stayed by the door, it...wasn’t really my place to be there. Especially due to the fact I threatened to kill old man Hargreeves on a daily basis. Grace looked around “Did something happen?” She asked. “Dad died. Remember?” Allison said. “Oh. Yes, of course.”
“Is mom okay?” She asked. “-Yeah, yeah, she’s fine.” Diego responded. I don’t think anyone actually believed him. “She just needs to rest. Y’know, recharge.”
Pogo walked up to the group “Whenever you’re ready, dear boy.” He said. Luther opened Reginald’s urn and poured the contents onto the ground. “....Probably would’ve been better with some wind.” He said. Pogo interrupted the awkward silence that followed “Does anyone wish to speak?” He asked. At this point, I was pretty much drenched with rain, so I was happy when nobody spoke. “The sooner this is over, the better.” I muttered to myself.
Pogo looked around. “...Very well. In all regards, Sir Reginald Hargreeves made me what I am today.” He paused “For that alone, I shall forever be in his debt. He was my master, and my friend, and I shall miss him very much.”
“He leaves behind a complicated legacy-“ He was a monster” Diego cut him off. “He was a bad person and a worse father.” I genuinely didn’t think I should’ve been listening at this point. “The worlds better off without him-“ “Diego-“ “My name is Number Two. You know why? Because our father couldn’t be bothered to give us actual names. He had Mom do it-“
I looked away. I genuinely contemplated heading inside, but then I heard a fight start.
Diego and Luther had begun fighting. “Boys! Stop this at once!” Pogo yelled. But he was ignored. I took a step back, pressing myself against the wall.
Then I heard a crash. Ben’s statue went tumbling to the ground. “And there goes Ben’s statue...” Said Allison.
Then Diego pulled out a knife. I just headed inside at this point, the world was ending in a week and these idiots were fighting instead of being competent, functioning adults. I didn’t have to babysit them.
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“Where’s Vanya?” Allison asked, walking into the kitchen. I looked up from my phone “Oh, she left.” I said. “An entire square block, forty-two bedrooms, 19 bathrooms, but no, not a single drop of coffee.” Five said. I snorted, looking away. “Dad hated caffeine.” “Well, he hated children, too, and he had plenty of us.”
The room fell into silence. “...I’m taking the car.” Five said “Where are you going?” “To get a decent cup of coffee.” “Do you even know how to drive?” Allison asked “I know how to do everything.” He answered, grabbing my hand and teleporting out of the house.
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We arrived at a place called ‘Griddy’s Doughnuts’. Five sat down by the counter and rang the bell. I barely paid attention to my surroundings and got lost in thought. I did, however, notice a gun being loaded behind my head.
“Hm. That was fast. I thought we’d have more time before they found us.” Five muttered. The man behind him spoke “Okay. So let’s all be professional about this, yeah? On your feet and come with us. They wanna talk.” “I’ve got nothing to say.”
I gripped the knife in my waistband quickly.
“It doesn’t have to go this way. You think I wanna shoot a kid? Go home with that on my conscience?”
“Well, I wouldn’t worry about that. You won’t be going home.”
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I stabbed the last guy in the head, pulling the knife out quickly. “Give me your arm.” Five said. I nodded, quickly rolling up my sleeve. He grabbed my knife and sliced my arm open, pulling out a tracking device. Then he did the same for himself. We then walked outside, and he chucked both of them in different directions. “That should keep em busy.” He said, adjusting his tie.
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We arrived at Vanya’s apartment. I hated how familiar it felt, more than anything else. Five sat down on the sofa and waited for Vanya to arrive.
She eventually did, unlocking the door and going to turn the light on, but Five turned on a lamp before she could. “Jesus-“ “You should have locks on your windows.” He said “....I live on the second floor.” “Rapists can climb.” She sighed, dumping her keys onto the radiator. “You are so weird.”
She shut the door and sat down “Is that blood?” She asked, looking at Five “It’s nothing.” “Why are you here?” He paused “I’ve decided you’re the only one I can trust.” “Why me?” “Because you’re ordinary.”
“Because you’ll listen.”