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Park Jimin has always been told by people that he’s a dreamer. Someone who shot for the stars and caught one each time. He’s the lively dancer who just so happens to be who everyone wants. He was the senior everyone strived after.
But he has a secret.
Nine years ago, his best friend disappeared, taking Jimin’s heart and happiness with him. The smile he shows everyone is fake, the charming personality is a front, and the sparkling eyes are tears unshed from years of trying gone wrong.
••••
Jimin had just gotten back from a trip to his grandmother’s house, when his mother broke the news.
“Sweety… Taehyung went missing the night you left. Nobody has seen him since.”
Jimin felt his blood run cold.
“What do you mean missing? He wouldn’t leave me, he wouldn’t- he-” a sob broke his sentence and Jimin’s mother cradled his head to her chest in comfort.
She kept whispering “I’m sorry’s” and still to this day, Jimin doesn’t understand what she was apologizing for.
••••
From that day on, he would be on the lookout for his best friend, searching everywhere he could think, taking long trips to faraway places only he and Taehyung knew of. He was running and running, his breath was harsh as he finally quit.
Jimin never found Taehyung, and eventually, he couldn’t find himself either.
People were careful to ever bring Taehyung up, and Jimin exploded thinking of how people were treating him. As if he was a rabid animal terrified of getting near humans. Jimin lost his friend, a part of himself, but he’s still a person.
He pretended to be nice and sweet, pretended his world wasn’t as dull and grey as it was. But even he couldn’t prevent his mask from cracking and eventually falling.
He became agitated towards anyone who talked to him. Yelling and scowling with his whole body as people looked at him with sympathy. That is until one day his senior Min Yoongi lightly scolded him after yelling at one of Yoongi’s boyfriends.
“I understand you’ve been through something none of us will probably ever understand, but that gives you absolutely no right to yell at my boyfriend for asking a question. You can be upset, but don’t take it out on others just because it hurts. It’s not fair to others.” his senior said wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and resting his chin on his shoulder.
Jimin was stunned for a moment. He looked at the person he yelled at, the subtle dip in his brows, the downturned curve of his lips, the dimmed sparkle in his eyes. Jimin suddenly remembers that it’s not anyone else’s fault that he’s upset.
It’s his own .
“I’m sorry for yelling, for being an ass to you even though you were simply asking me a question. I hope you can forgive me one day.” he bows ever so slightly, he can see Yoongi frowning at the display.
“Ah please, hyung is just overprotective, it’s okay… I realize you’re going through something unimaginable, I promise, it’s okay. So please, you don’t need to really apologize.” he says uncomfortably.
Jimin rests his back comfortably and searches the younger’s eyes. They are big and bright doe eyes that would surely steal anyone’s breath. His smile is radiant and adorable, similar to that of a bunny. It’s easy to say he is one of the most beautiful people Jimin has ever seen.
“Stop assessing my boyfriend.” Yoongi says with a hint of irritation. It’s barely noticeable, but his eyes say it all.
Definitely protective… okay.
Jimin laughs, for the first time in a long time. Loud and boisterous, filling the room as he doubles over with his eyes watering.
“Protective huh? Cute.” he smiles, radiant and pure as he looks at them.
They have something I want, but they both look happier than I could ever have hoped we would, wouldn’t you say Taehyung?
Before he knows it, the tears of laughter become streams of sadness falling gracefully down puffy cheeks. Silent, but overwhelming in their appearance.
I miss you Taehyung.
He faintly hears a whisper of “I know” before collapsing.
He wakes up and sees Taehyung smiling down at him, his soft, boxy smile, one Jimin has missed so much. But once he closes his eyes again, Taehyung is gone.
Yoongi is staring down, a frown on his face as Jimin’s eyes water. Jungkook makes a sound of distress as Jimin begins to cry harder, he softly pushes Yoongi out of the way and holds Jimin close.
Jimin holds onto Jungkook tightly, tears soaking the younger’s shirt and sobs wracking through his body. His whole frame is shaking and he isn’t sure how long it’s been since he’s had someone hold him.
“Please, help me understand.” Jungkook quietly says.
“His name… was Kim Taehyung, and he was the boy who stole my heart and broke it.”
♡♡♡♡♡
He remembers the first day he met Taehyung, it was bright outside and the birds were chirping so prettily. The sun was shining, without a cloud in sight, and suddenly a boy, the same age as him comes bustling through.
He crashes into Jimin and ever since, that will always be the best day to him. Because it is not only the day he gained a friend, but he gained a soulmate. Someone he would cherish forever.
Despite forever not being real.
It was a cold winter night when Taehyung started acting differently. The sparkle Jimin fell in love with was no longer present. It was as if a void had swallowed it up.
Taehyung became distant and cold, but still friendly enough that he smiled, but never the ones Jimin was so fond of. However, a time came when Jimin was needed at his grandparents house and so he left, he left Taehyung, no words of goodbye, and no promises of a hello.
It was the biggest mistake Jimin made.
Because the last time he saw his best friend, his soulmate, was when they parted at school gates. A small smile and a whisper of “Be happy Jimin.” was all he had left of Taehyung.
From then on Jimin purposefully kept everyone from getting close. One heartbreak, one love, one loss, that’s all he could handle. After all, Taehyung was an anomaly, he was bright and vibrant in a way Jimin had never seen before dulling down. Never letting words skip by unnecessarily, it was frustrating.
But Jimin never pushed.
He should have.
No letter, no message, no body, it was truly as if Taehyung vanished.
There were no tears, none at all, because Jimin was empty.
Taehyung was his serotonin, Taehyung was his happiness, Taehyung…
Taehyung was his Taehyung .
And he was gone.
But Jimin wasn’t, he still had school, he still had work to do, he still had to live, even if his reason for living was dead.
“I miss him, but I promised myself I wouldn’t cry… and yet that’s all I’ve done today.” Jimin says brokenly
Jungkook and Yoongi looked sad as he said what was in his jumbled mind. The small memories of Taehyung, spoken so softly and sadly, that even their hearts acked at them.
“You loved him, it’s normal.” Yoongi says.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
A mirror is on the wall opposite of Jimin and for a moment, Jimin sees himself alone, and then, the outline of his soulmate.
Taehyung is there in his favorite sweater and beloved oversized pants, a boxy grin that Jimin has missed so much, but he’s different, he’s older, he’s the same age as Jimin.
“Take care Jiminie, come see me when it’s time for you, and then I’ll give you that forever we promised.” he chuckles wetly against Jimin’s shoulder.
Jimin blinks rapidly and feels his breathing halt because he heard Taehyung, he heard his voice.
“I’ll be waiting for you.” Taehyung says before he disappears.
“Jimin?” Jungkook asks.
Jimin stares blankly at the mirror and brushes his tears away with a finger.
“Yeah.” he says softly in response to Taehyung, paying Jungkook no mind as he feels a swell of love rise in his chest. “I’ll come to you soon.”
Just before he can respond to Jungkook, a person flies through the door.
“I was looking everywhere for you two, how could you leave me behind, I was scared out of my mind!” a tall and broad man says.
“Jin hyung, we were helping someone.” Yoongi says pouting.
He… he whined… and pouted…
Jimin laughed brightly at the display.
“I didn’t realise you got soft for your boyfriends Yoongi hyung.”
“Who said you could call me hyung?” he replies flatly.
Jimin smiles and winks, loving the annoyed crinkle in Yoongi’s forehead.
“You’re pretty cute Jimin hyung.” Jungkook says as he’s wrapped into Jin's arms.
“Yeah… no.”
Maybe Jimin can learn to live without Taehyung, and learn to live for himself. After all, Taehyung would want him to keep going and persevere through the pain and sadness, and Jimin is finally beginning to think it could be possible.