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“you and i both know it’s for the best.”
“johnny, remember you can call me whenever you want. if you ever need to talk to anyone, i’m here okay?” taeil reminded johnny before he had to go home to pack the last bit of his belongings.
before they had to leave each other, they spent one last time going on a date. they went to all their favourite places, visiting the places they went when they first got together. they made sure that they were both happy before they would have to break up. taeil knew that johnny wouldn’t really be okay. no matter how much johnny says that he’ll be fine, deep down they both knew that none of them would be okay.
“yep, just go home already taeil,” johnny answered taeil, “you need to catch your flight early tomorrow. i’m going to drop you off as well.”
despite jonny saying that taeil should go now, johnny knew that he didn’t want to let him go. he didn’t want taeil to leave him and move on from their relationship. that’s what he was most afraid of, no matter how much taeil reassured him that he was the one he loves the most. neither did taeil want to leave. but he had no other choice. he had to take care of his family who were suffering on their own.
they were standing right outside johnny’s house, staring at each other. johnny was hoping that taeil would say that he wouldn’t go, but he knew very well that taeil had to go. not wanting to say goodbye just yet, johnny walked up to taeil and landed a kiss on his lips. this kiss was nothing like any of their other kisses. every bit of sadness and emotion they were feeling was being fed into this kiss. they were holding each other like they won’t ever let go of each other. tears were strolling down their face knowing that this will be their last kiss that they’ll ever be able to experience. the shorter male pulled away first, knowing that he won’t be able to control his emotions if he continues to kiss his boyfriend.
“johnny, don’t cry alright? it’s for the best.” taeil whispered, wiping the tears of the taller away.
“t-taeil please d-don’t forget about m-me,” johnny choked out, sobbing, “you’ll a-always l-love me right?”
johnny buried his face into taeil’s neck, hoping to find comfort like he always does. he didn’t hold back his sobs. he didn’t care if the local houses could hear his crying.
“johnny i would never forget you. you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and i don’t ever wanna leave that. johnny, you gave me so much happiness. happiness that no one else would be able to give me. you made me feel loved, you made me happy, you gave me all your attention. i can’t ask for anything better,” taeil said without sobbing, “thank you for everything johnny. you made my life so much better. thank you.”
taeil felt like he had to be strong just for johnny. johnny had been by his side through all of his struggles but never once did johnny bother him with his own problems. if there was one last thing he could give back to johnny, it’s the love and care he received from johnny during their relationship.
“we’ll see each other again tomorrow, let’s go to our own homes and wait for tomorrow to come.” taeil gently removed johnny’s body from his, giving johnny his small smile.
“o-okay, we’ll see e-each other a-again.” johnny had finally calmed down from crying.
taeil started to walk away from johnny’s house, which he considered his second home, while waving back at johnny, who stood there waiting for taeil to leave his vision. they’d see each other one last time tomorrow. and then after that, who knew?
it has already been 6 months. 6 months since johnny and taeil broke up. 6 months since they last saw each other face to face.
saying johnny has been doing fine would be such a huge lie. despite 6 months already passing, johnny still hasn’t recovered from the break up. every night he would have dreams of taeil. he dreams about what he would do with taeil if he was there with him. he dreams about how taeil might be better off without him now. last night he even dreamt about taeil coming back to him, entering his arms but as soon as johnny tried to hug him back, he disappeared.
the thing that was making it worse for johnny was the fact that taeil seemed like he had no plans of ever going back. judging by his posts on his social media, taeil looked like he was having a great time away from johnny. taeil was going to all these different restaurants and cafes with his friends. he was taking his family to all these different places and he looked like he was having the time of his life. don’t get johnny wrong, he loved seeing his ex-lover being happy and not hurting. but knowing that he isn’t the reason behind why he is so happy hurts johnny so much to the point he cries for hours on end. johnny didn’t want to know about how taeil is happy without him being there.
johnny has tried everything to forget about taeil. he went to different places with his friends. mark, his best friend, has tried to take johnny to his own house, wanting to show johnny that he can have fun without taeil. but no matter how much mark tried to take johnny out of his little house, johnny would decline the offer.
as much as he appreciated mark for trying to make him feel better, johnny just didn’t feel like doing anything. knowing that he won’t go back home to taeil waiting for him, despite the fact that taeil didn’t actually live with him. he didn’t want to deal with the loneliness he would face when he went back to his house.
just like every other night, johnny spent his time scrolling through taeil’s instagram account, wanting to see how his ex-lover is doing. johnny continued to talk to taeil even after he left but recently taeil has gotten too busy to even send a message saying hello. the last thing that he said to johnny was that he would be busy over the next few weeks and that he won’t have time for their calls. the missed calls would then turn into missed messages. although taeil didn’t reply, johnny sent a message everyday saying he misses taeil without fail. johnny just assumed that taeil would see his messages sometime soon.
johnny eventually decided that he would take a break from looking at taeil’s account. it had already gotten a little overwhelming for him and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to handle anymore without completely breaking down. tucking himself into his bed, johnny faced the direction taeil would normally be in if he stayed over.
“i miss you so much taeil.” johnny whispered as if taeil was there to hear him. “i still love you.”
a few tears had escaped johnny’s eyes at that point and he was trying to control himself from crying anymore. he closed his eyes, sleep taking over his body. he had been so tired from the last few days that he is going to finally reward his body with good sleep.
again that night, johnny dreamt of taeil coming back to him. he had the biggest smile on his face as he held his arms out, just like last time, waiting for taeil to enter them.
“taeil!” johnny called out, “i’m here.” johnny waved his arms frantically hoping that taeil would be able to spot him.
“johnny.” a voice whispered.
johnny recognised that voice. the voice that he hadn’t heard in so long. subconsciously, johnny started to cry. but he didn’t open his eyes. he knew it was all just in the dream and that he was just imagining things.
“johnny.” the voice whispered again.
johnny continued to ignore the voice, thinking it was all just in his dream. he didn’t want to wake up to disappointment.
“johnny.” the voice called out again, except louder this time.
johnny even felt a hand on his shoulder. he slowly opened his eyes, truly wishing that he wouldn’t face disappointment. he knew the person who owned that voice. but he didn’t know if the person he was hoping for was actually there or if it was all just a dream again.
when johnny had finally opened his eyes, he was met with the sight of the owner of the voice. the person he had been missing so dearly in the last 6 months. the person he hadn’t moved on from.
“taeil?” johnny whispered, worried that he would disappear as soon as his name is mentioned.
except he didn’t disappear. there he was, standing with a bright smile on his face, waiting for johnny to approach him. johnny ran up to him, engulfing him in a hug.
“it really is you. you’re here.” johnny let out the breath he had unknowingly been holding in.
every emotion he was holding in had finally been let go. johnny sobbed and sobbed as he continued to hug taeil.
“i can’t believe you’re here, in my arms.” johnny said while holding taeil’s face in his hands as if he was treasure.
“well you have to start believing it because i’m going to be here forever.” taeil said with a smile on his face. “i’m going to stay right here in your arms until the end of time.”