Chapter Text
Natasha had been avoiding the mirror in her apartment ever since Falk appeared that one night.
Well, mirrors in general.
The blanket she had thrown over the one in her bedroom was still there, almost as she had been expecting the leader of the maa-alused would just show up again.
During the past few weeks, Natasha was trying to grapple what had happened, and even though all had ended well and the treaty was signed with the Agency, something felt unfinished to her.
Sighing, she flopped down on her bed in her apartment, the plain white of the bedspread and the floors contrasted greatly against her black blazer.
It’s over, it’s finished.
But then why does it felt like there is something I still need to find?
Natasha looked back at the blanket covered mirror, and decided she would never truly move on from this if that blanket was a constant reminder, so she got up and removed it, expecting to throw it back on her bed.
But catching eye contact with her reflection made her pause.
She stared back at her light blue eyes, her caramel hair tied up in his usual bun, but over the last few weeks, it had gotten messier, no longer having the normal tightness that it normally had. Large bags had formed under her eyes, and she traced her fingers over the scar on her neck, somehow seeming more prominent then it usually did.
Natasha could hardly recognize the person before her, but yet it was her, a tired and worn-down version of herself.
She pulled her hair out of the bun, letting it fall to its usual just past shoulder length, and while she debated putting the blanket back over the mirror, she wanted some sense of normality in her room, so she threw it back on the bed, expecting to just read for the rest of the evening.
The text notification from her phone went off, and she went to see what it was, finding it was a text message from Felix:
Hey, can you come over to the warehouse?
A pair of green eyes seemed to emerge in her mind at the question, and she fought hard to pull them out of her brain.
Ever since that magical night in the carnival he had been avoiding her, and she was trying to figure out why that upset her. Natasha should have known that is what Adam would do, she had been given no reason to believe otherwise, but it had stung. She had been so happy that night, to have her heart shattered the next day when she came to work and everything was back to the way it was before.
Sighing, resigning to her more professional side, she texted Felix back:
Why? Is everything alright?
Yeah, Agent Trexler just needs your signature on some paperwork.
Okay, I’ll be there in a few minutes
Natasha really wanted to stay home, but she got up anyway, stopping at the mirror to put her hair back up, but then she stopped.
I really don’t care about how I look right now.
She then left the room, grabbing her bag and sunglasses as she left her apartment.
It did not take long for her to arrive at the warehouse, and Natasha was kind of hoping she would not run into Adam while she was there, not sure if she could take seeing him right now.
She walked inside, the main room empty, the fireplace still blazing, and she let her eyes wander to the pictures that Felix had put on the mantle, letting herself zone out to the world around her.
“Detective Trexler”
Natasha turned to the voice she knew so well, also being the only person on the team who still called her detective.
“Ad- Commanding Agent”, she corrected herself, if he was not going to use her name, even when she asked him to, she would not use his.
She watched as Adam’s gaze went to her hair, and she suddenly remembered that she taken it down.
Is this the first time he’s seen me like that?
“You’ve taken your hair down”, Adam muttered, then he turned his head away as if he did not mean to say it aloud.
“Yeah, sorry”, she said, not sure what to say, “I know it’s unprofessional of me- “
“It’s not”
“It’s not?”
Adam turned to face her, “It suits you”.
The admission made her eyes widen, but she had heard things like this before. Adam would say something like that, and then immediately deny he meant it the way he did later, and Natasha was not sure how many times she could get her hopes up to only have them come crashing down to earth again.
“Uh, thanks?”, she finally said, daring to look into his eyes, expecting him to turn away like he always did, but he did not. He continued to look back into her gaze, and Natasha wanted time to stand still, and to never forget everything that she felt during this moment.
“You’re here for the paperwork, right?”, Adam said, and Natasha blinked hard at the gaze broken, Adam again turning his head toward the window.
“Yes”, she said slowly, and tore her own eyes away from him.
“Agent Trexler has it”, he said simply, his tone full of professionalism, “It should not require much”.
Natasha nodded, and she pulled back her hair, barely thinking about it, and put it up into a low ponytail, tying it off with the hairband around her wrist.
She looked back at Adam, and she wanted to say a million things to him, to say absolutely anything. She wanted to throw her hurt at his actions back in his face, to tell him that denying it would just drive them both crazy, but she stayed silent.
Because doing anything to push him away even more would hurt more than the ache of feelings that she had for him.
You fell for a man who’s also going to break your heart.
“I’m going to go find my mother”, was what she said instead, “I guess I’ll see you around”.
With that, she walked down to her mother’s office, feeling like her heart had dropped to her feet, trying to ignore Adam watching her as she left.