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The first time had been the first day at school.
After having been drenched with cola all over, having taken a lightning bolt spell from the hands of none other than Shinya Hiragi and have had been proclaimed a friend of the very annoying aforementioned, Guren was truly tired. He had no energy spared to listen to the 'Goddess of the school', his childhood lover, Mahiru Hiragi, deliver a speech in front of the whole school the first time he saw her after ten years.
No energy spared to feel like nothing but an insignificant speck of dust, who could never dare match up to the massive mountains.
Guren tried losing the maddening Shinya in the crowd of the excited children, and was successful in doing so. He looked around and saw a red haired girl beside him. Had to be from the House of Jujo. The girl seemed hellbent on making conversation with Guren so he had shut her down by the most effective method, which was making her flustered. Wasn't too hard, he only had to lie that Shinya Hiragi liked her.
Not before soon, the 'goddess' of the school, Mahiru Hiragi gave a welcoming speech, enrapturing the audience as if she were a nightingale singing her sweetest melody. The feeling of being a nobody had never been heavier than now for Guren, his thoughts spiralling into self-deprecation. He laughed to himself, he was nothing but a lowly Ichinose rat in front of the god that were the Hiragis.
Before he could turn to leave, he had a hunch that something was about to hit his head. Unfortunately, the events from the morning were bound to repeat and he was drenched in cola all over again, this time without his two trusty aides beside him.
Guren did not plan on retaliating, not today. So he put on a foolish grin and scratched the back of his head, "Ah, this cola does taste really nice!" he loudly said.
Laughter burst all around him, he was being mocked and called names. He wondered if these people didn't feel tired playing the same old tricks again and again. Oh well, there was no choice but for him to bear with these antics.
"My, what is all this laughter for?", Shinya appeared behind Guren all of a sudden.
Guren turned his neck to look at the source of the voice and internally groaned. Great, he thought, now this Hiragi can also join in the fun.
One of the students, probably of the lower families looking to gain favour with the next gen top brass Hiragis and who was clearly not from their class and didn't know of the events that took place in the morning class, spoke up.
"Lord Shinya! We are teaching this lowly trash Ichinose his place," the student spoke, laughing. "Look at him drenched like a rat!". Another wave of laughter went up, but Shinya remained eerily silent.
"Hey, is it really that pleasing to see the uniform of this prestigious school soaking in cola?", he spoke as his hand went up to Guren's shoulder, feeling the sugary stickiness on his fingers and made eye contact with the student over his shoulder. The student was clearly shaken by his words, struggling to form a reply.
Guren flinched at Shinya's touch. Shinya noticed, obviously, and smiled. "Well, I asked you something." The crowd was silent, at a loss of words just like the scared boy, and tried slipping out of this situation soundlessly. The boy looked at his companions retreating and scampered away.
Before Guren could say a word, Shinya quickly slung an arm around Guren from behind, "Now then, why did my best friend leave me alone?!", he playfully wailed.
"You have to be joking, get your hands off me."
"Ahh Guren, that is not very nice of you to say to your best friend.", he pouted and held even tighter as Guren struggled to get away.
He then felt it. Ba-dump, ba-dump... a steady beat. It took him a while to realise and register what this was. Guren's heartbeat. He gulped, his throat suddenly feeling all choked up and fell silent for quite a while.
"Will you leave me or not?" Guren's irritated voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Brushing them aside, he had to continue his act otherwise Guren would know something's wrong.
Is something wrong? Shinya asked himself. Yes, definitely, answered his own inner voice. There was no explanation for the heat on his face, the chills down his spine and the little breathlessness he felt all in a span of a few seconds.
"Nooo~ How can I let you leave so easily, you're the first friend I have ~" Shinya said in a singsong voice which annoyed Guren to no limits.
"Hah, liar. Everyone here loves you." Guren muttered exasperatedly, low enough that no one but Shinya could hear.
But I wasn't lying, Shinya thought, you really are the first one I'm close enough to be doing this with.
"You smell nice." Shinya remarked, pointedly at the sweet scent of cola.
"..."
"Pfft.." Shinya laughed at Guren's flustered face.
"What do you want?" Guren groaned.
"To spend some time with my best friend~" Shinya sang as he shook him by the shoulders.
Guren tiredly brushed his cola soaked hair back with his fingers and sighed. This day couldn't get any worse now that he had a personal annoying Hiragi boy clinging onto him. Looking around, he spotted a red head quite dazzling in a crowd of dark haired people.
"Oi! Idol wannabe!!", Guren shouted towards Mito, who was gullible enough to turn back and respond.
"You filthy trash!! Who did you call an idol wann-" Mito spotted Shinya who resembled a koala clinging down Guren's back and was rendered speechless. Guren smirked, "Shinya wants to tell you something."
Mito visibly blushed, recalling what Guren had told her earlier. "L-Lord Shinya! B-before you say anything, I w-want you to know that I..."
Taking advantage of the blabbering Mito, Guren sneaked out of Shinya's hold, which had now loosened because of this distraction. "Have fun handling this", Guren snickered and ran off.
"Yah Guren! Wait up!"
Shinya was now left behind with a stuttering Mito, a sleeve soaked with cola and a heart filled with unfathomable sensations.
The second time had been them escaping from a vampire.
It had been a tiring day for Guren, a bit unlike the others. Kureto had grouped him with the very same people he had to kill one day for his plans to work. Mito, Goshi, Shinya, they didn't belong with a lowly Ichinose who was looking for revenge with the Imperial Demon.
The Hyakuya sect was also interested in an alliance with Mikado No Tsuki. They had planned a meeting to discuss the coalition against Mikado No Oni at 2 AM. Guren had directed Shigure to prepare gear for him and him alone, he would not risk their lives for this. And when he thought he could leave school peacefully, Goshi had insisted on the squad hanging out at Guren's.
The glint in Shinya's eyes as Guren was forced into letting them tag along told him that Shinya had something to do with this impromptu visit.
Guren let them follow him and Sayuri bought enough food for everyone. Reaching his house, they chose to play shogi, the last thing one would expect teenagers their age to play.
But they were already far from being normal teenagers, being of powerful houses practising magic and the forbidden arts. Defeating and killing monsters, witnessing blood and gore from a young age.
Guren sat at the table, watching them fool around. Goshi keeping time, Mito trying to come up with a move against Shinya and Shinya with his usual smile, teasing Mito to no ends. Shinya looked towards Guren, his eyes as if he knew something no one else knew. In that gaze, Guren felt exposed, Shinya knew everything. Guren looked away, scoffing at the ever confident Shinya.
The rest of the evening, time passed too fast. It was all just lay over till Guren had to meet the Hyakuya operatives. It would be very dangerous, the talks could break down and he could be killed. Or the Imperial Demon would get word of it and then he would be killed. He had ordered Sayuri and Shigure to immediately leave for Aichi if he did not come back by sunset, but knowing them, he knew they would rather die than go back without their master.
Guren sighed, his thoughts racing just as fast as the bike he had stolen. The meeting was supposed to take place at Hikarigaoka park, one of the biggest parks in the area. He decided to enter from the forest adjoining to avoid surveillance. He parked his bike and checked his weapons and talismans just in time for another bike to park beside him.
Shinya had annoyingly tagged himself along. Guren had not required his help but slowly he had warmed up to the idea of having someone to work with, especially that both of them had a common enemy, the Hiragis.
They were currently hidden in a thick tree overlooking the lawn in which they were supposed to be meeting with the Hyakuya operatives in about half an hour. Chosing a branch strong enough to support both of them, Guren sat farther from the trunk than Shinya, using his night goggles to scan the area.
"Yah Guren, this reminds of that silly nonsense foreigners would say.. what was it..", Shinya drawled on, pretending to think.
"Tch.." Guren removed his night goggles, failing to find anything and faced Shinya.
"Ah yes! Guren and Shinya sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.", Shinya sang suggestively, his face too close to Guren's. Guren backed away immediately.
"....Shameless, do you really like making such vulgar jokes on yourself?" Guren said, his face heating up. He looked away and went back to checking the area with his night goggles.
Shinya merely laughed. He too shifted his attention to scanning the park for the Hyakuya sect.
"Did you spot any lovers?" Shinya's teasing voice came from beside him.
"Yeah, eight of them." Guren replied unabashedly.
"Wha-at?!" Shinya quickly turned his night vision goggles to the direction Guren was looking in and spotted the aforementioned 'lovers'.
There were eight Hyakuya operatives, all dressed up in suits, like the men who had attacked Shibuya High. The situation had turned grave, Shinya realised, why would they send so many men for making a deal with a child? He knew that he and Guren could never defeat all of them, if it came to that.
"Hah, you joke well." Shinya scoffed, his eyes on the men below. Guren remained silent, the ghost of a smile on his face.
Guren and Shinya looked below at the men, who were now frantically running and yelling, taking fighting stance. Something leapt out of the darkness and attacked. The men reacted instantly, chains just like Saito's, attacking the beast.
They were easily defeated as what looked like a female had a man gripped in her hands, her teeth sinking into his neck, drawing out blood and gulping it down.
A vampire.
"Fuck." Guren cussed.
The vampire turned to look at them. A shiver went down Guren's spine. There was no way the vampire was able to see them from this far. The vampire smiled, baring her fangs as if she knew what he was thinking. She sprinted towards them.
"Oi, Guren!" Shinya shouted as he leapt off the branch.
"I know!" Guren followed after, wasting no time. They were dead if he let her catch up to him.
The vampire easily caught up as they ran to the parking area and jumped on their bikes, trying to rev up the engine as fast as humanely possible.
The vampire stood in front of Guren as he accelerated his bike to the max. She caught the front wheel and it exploded, throwing him off the bike. She lifted the bike to throw it upon Guren as he desperately tried to land a hit on her with his katana. He missed, and he knew it was the end for him.
"Guren, grab my hand!" Shinya shouted as he held out his hand and held Guren tightly. He was now being dragged along with Shinya's speeding bike and was pulled up onto the backseat by Shinya.
The vampire did not give up. Shinya was going above 100km/h, any further and they would get into big trouble. Guren grabbed onto Shinya's shoulder as he threw wards on the vampire, whose wounds regenerated in an instant.
The vampire almost touched the rear wheel of the bike. Guren knew the next time she reached out, she would easily catch them. He took his katana and with all his might, cut down on the vampire's hand. Her hand was sliced off, and she gave up on chasing them.
Before he could even rejoice, they ran into trouble with the traffic. The bike, going at 150km/h, broke through red lights and almost hit a truck.
"Guren, hold on!" Shinya called out.
"I am holding!" Guren was terrified. If it wasn't the vampire, it was Shinya's dangerous driving that would get them killed.
He held tight onto Shinya's shoulders, his front closely pressed against Shinya's back so that he won't get swept away by the momentum at such high speeds.
And then Shinya felt it, his heartbeat. Faster than the first time, beating madly against him. Shinya's head felt lightheaded, was it the toll of escaping near death or something else? He would rather not know.
Riding on a stolen bike without helmets at dangerous speeds in the late of the night, pressed against each other as the wind sifted through their hair, was this the youth Goshi always mentioned?
Didn't sound too bad, he decided. Almost made Shinya want to speed up deliberately, just so he could feel Guren's heartbeat grow because of him. He wished he could live longer in this moment, in this feeling. With Guren.
"The vampire stopped chasing us, slow down before the police catch us." Guren tapped on Shinya's shoulder.
"Ehh? But we're not wearing helmets, you're holding a katana. We will be caught no matter we slow down or not."
"I refuse to die because of your poor driving skills." Guren protested.
"Nothing will happen." Shinya replied, "However, if we do slow down, we're going to be quite conspicuous~ you're wrapped around me, we're both not wearing helmets, and both of us are guys, what does this look like?"
"Cut your nonsense, hurry up and slow down." Guren replied as he sat up straight, loosening his hold on Shinya after being called out so shamelessly. The heartbeat that Shinya had unknowingly conditioned his own to, had suddenly disappeared. He frowned, mentally cursing himself for making Guren conscious of his hold on him.
"Yep, yep~"
Shinya slowed down, but his heart wished that he could go on forever like this.
The third time had been when Guren had been taken over by a demon.
Shinya stood in the yard of Shibuya High, right below the building which had the classroom containing the possessed Guren on its top floor. The classroom had been sealed heavily with spells and wards to dispel the demon who took over Guren.
Shibuya High had yet again been attacked by the Hyakuya sect. Guren had willingly accepted the demon to save his friends, Goshi, Mito, Sayuri and Shigure. He singlehandedly saved them all, but the demon inside him had also forced him to hurt them.
Shinya had gotten here before things could get any worse. He had brought along reinforcements, being the foster son of the Hiragis had quite the perks. Not that it mattered, he would still have come even if he was all alone.
He couldn't let Guren who had so foolishly accepted a demon to save his friends, lose his rationality and become a demon himself. There was no way he was going to let that stupid, stupid idiot give up his life just like this.
Mito, Goshi, Sayuri and Shigure had all been rescued while Guren remained in the classroom, possessed by the demon. He currently sat in his own classroom, on his own table, in the darkness, dwelling upon the demon that was now sleeping inside him.
He sighed, he had only come to consciousness an hour ago, whereas he had been sealed here for a good two or more. The demonic him had been hacking uselessly at the wards pasted on the windows, thinking only of ways to slaughter everyone.
Guren had become immensely powerful, he felt strength oozing from within. But at the same time he felt tired, exhausted in his heart. He only wanted power to save his friends, yet here he was in such a predicament, endangering the lives of those very friends.
He knew Shinya was there outside, he had seen him before when Goshi and Mito had escaped and the demon in him was trying to kill them both. They had met eyes and Guren tried his best to get through his demon, he tried his best to tell Shinya that he must kill him if he lost control.
Head in his hands, Guren slouched over, sighing deeply. The apocalypse was near, Mahiru had said. Punishment from the Gods to mankind for meddling with taboos will be dealt, and by this Christmas the world will end. He had no clue as to how to save the world, but he could not just standby and do nothing while it happened.
Right at this moment, light filled the entire room. The talismans had been removed and Guren's eyes that had been accustomed to the dark were blinded. Troops entered from all windows, and along with them, Mito, Goshi and Shinya.
"....Shinya?" Guren guessed, holding up a hand to shield his eyes.
"Guren! Don't move! We're here to save you!" Shinya approached him carefully.
Guren did not move. He felt the demon inside him wake up from its slumber. It told him to kill, its voice ringing inside his head, it told him to finish off everyone standing in that room, the soldiers, his friends and Shinya. Guren endured it with all his strength.
"I heard you've regained consciousness...", Shinya spoke.
"No! The demon's awakened, if you're going to control it then hurry!" Guren tried his best to keep the demon at bay as he spoke.
Kill, kill, kill, kill, the demon chanted in his head.
"I won't let you succeed!" Mito shouted as she and Goshi restrained Guren by his shoulders.
"..Kill, kill, kill, kill," Guren's voice became one with the demon's as he threw both of them away easily.
Guren grabbed Goshi by the neck, wanting to snap it into half.
"Stop!" Guren shouted.
That seemed to work as Guren's hand released Goshi. Grabbing the opportunity, Shinya kicked Guren's arm away.
"Calm down, Guren. We'll help you bind it now." Shinya said.
"Then hurry!" Guren shouted.
Shinya took out a talisman and aimed it at Guren's forehead. The demon instantly wanted to dodge the spell, to take his sword and cut down Shinya, but Guren used all his willpower to keep still.
Shinya touched the talisman in his right hand to Guren's forehead. Guren immediately began to shiver, his nervous system was affected. He felt the demon's voice go softer and softer.
"Good, Guren! We win!" Shinya smiled.
Mito moved to spear Guren with a wooden stake attached to a chain. This was supposed to bind him, Guren thought. The demon inside him unexpectedly dodged and leapt up onto the ceiling, standing upside down with his sword stabbed into the roof.
Shinya looked above, "One isn't enough to subdue the demon.. but we'll paste as many talismans as it takes. Then you will definitely wake up. So wait up there."
"Only using spell talismans to forcefully restrain the demon. Then what? The desires in your heart are real. They are what you are. If you lock them up, what will you become?"
Shinya's gaze turned icy cold, "Hah, whose words are those? I'm talking to Guren, shut up demon."
"The one who should shut up is you, human. You also desire strength, right? Strength so that your fiancé would accept you. Strength so that you need not submit to the Hiragis. Strength so that you can save this one. Come on, admit it."
Shinya laughed, "Enjoy making your noise, demon. We have already found a way to subjugate you. Then you will forever be our slaves."
The demon was for once, speechless. It had been scared for the first time that Guren had known. Shinya took advantage of this hesitation and started chanting a new round of spells, lines appearing all over his body.
Guren wanted to kill this unprepared Shinya, but Goshi and Mito stood with their katanas drawn out, protecting him.
"We won't let you succeed, we know you don't want this." Goshi said.
"This time, this time for sure, we'll save you!" Mito shouted.
Guren laughed, the canines of his mouth turned to fangs, "You compromised your lives with such useless actions, die regretting them."
Their blades clashed with Guren's. Two on one, still he far outclassed them.
"I won't lose! To risk my life to save my companions, I will nevet regret it!" Mito cried out.
"What idiotic things are you saying?" Guren snarled.
"The one acting idiotically is you! That's why we'll gamble our lives to save you." Goshi retorted.
From behind him, Shinya's hand reached out, the talisman ready to bind Guren. Guren thrusted his sword at Shinya's hand as Goshi laughed.
"Oh, by the way, that was an illusion."
Guren retreated, the image of Shinya behind Goshi dissolving into wisps of illusion magic. He surveyed the surroundings for Shinya, who had disappeared at some time.
"Over here." Shinya's voice came from the ceiling.
Guren looked up, but it was too late. A talisman was already stuck to his neck. He reversed his blade and prepared to strike down on Shinya. Shinya grabbed his head and embraced his body.
This time Shinya had been prepared for it, he knew what was coming. He was actually looking forward to feel Guren's familiar steady heartbeat against him. He gulped away any kind of nervousness that arose.
It took his breath away when he realised it wasn't the steady heartbeat that he fell in love with that he was feeling now. Guren's heart thundered irratically, unlike a human's. Akin to a thunderstorm, it boomed all at once and then fell silent, and then again it was back.
Guren's eyes panicked as he realised he was about to stab Shinya. "Stop, demon!" He commanded. The demon heeded at once.
Shinya smiled, and Guren saw that. "Don't worry about me, move!" He yelled out to the soldiers.
Stakes were thrusted at them. Shinya held Guren in his arms as his strength slipped away, and his head lolled onto Shinya's shoulder. The stakes pierced their skin, but it did not pain him, not when he had Guren in his arms.
Guren's roaring heartbeat slowly went away as his demon was binded. His softer, steadier heartbeat, the one that Shinya knew well, came back, replacing his despair with delight. Guren looked at Shinya, who smiled.
"It's over, Guren. Go and make that demon surrender. After that, come back to us.. come back..."
"Come back to me, Guren." Shinya whispered.
Guren's body fell limp in Shinya's arms as he lost consciousness.
The fourth time had been them gaming at Guren's place.
The television screen was very bright, displaying a simple bomberman style game on it. The volume was turned to the max and two avatars on the screen tirelessly threw bombs on each other. The controllers of these avatars sat glued to the television screen, not moving even an inch in a bid to defeat the other.
Guren and Shinya sat crosslegged, knee-to-knee, urgently pressing buttons on the gaming console. It was 3 AM, they had been playing this game for quite a while. Mito and Goshi had been playing with them too, but they got tired and had now slept off on the couch.
"Oi, wait, wait, wait. Guren, why are you getting so good at this game?" Shinya whined.
Ignoring him, Guren stared at the screen with half-lidded eyes, controlling the console with one hand.
"After doing the same thing for so long, of course I'll get better at it."
"Yes, but you've probably practiced in secret." Shinya said.
"No." Guren scoffed, "If a person plays this game on his own, he must be a true loner."
"Eh, but aren't you, a loner?" Shinya happily replied.
"Go die." Guren threw a bomb at Shinya's avatar in the game. "So close!"
Shinya reacted by moving suddenly and slamming his shoulder into Guren's shoulder. Of course, even if the one playing moved, the avatar in the game won't. However, whenever Shinya encountered danger in the game, he responded with physical movements.
"So painful." Guren complained.
"Haha, just give up and self explode."
"You're doing this on purpose, you bastard."
"No, my body responds automatically when the game gets exciting."
Guren knew he was lying. Separating actions from one's emotions was an integral part of sorcery trainings, and Shinya excelled in sorcery, one of the best of this generation.
Guren's eyes did not lift from the TV screen as he warned, "If you slam into me again, I'll kill you."
"I'm very sorry." Shinya said as he prepared himself to slam into Guren once again.
"As if I'll let you!" Guren moved back to avoid the attack.
"I'm really very sorry, my body accidentally,"
Two can play this game, Guren thought. He prepared to slam his left elbow, trying to knock off Shinya's gaming console.
"Ah, wait, as if I'll let you!" Shinya shouted, lifting his right elbow to guard himself. It pained both of their elbows, but neither of them backed down.
"Ah~ Guren, you're too terrible. Why not defeat me with your gaming skills instead?"
"You must be joking, you started this first."
"That's not true, my body accidentally moved when I got too excited."
"Liar."
"It's true, it's true."
"There's no way I can believe that."
"Look at my expression. I said this seriously!"
Guren glanced at Shinya's face, who wore his usual frivolous smile. "Definitely not. That's the face of a liar."
"So horrible!"
"To be honest, this is such a pain, end this off quickly. My elbows hurt."
"Well, this is indeed excessively boring," Shinya nodded in agreement.
"Alright, I'm going to remove my elbow."
"Hmm, okay, but how do I know you won't attack me again after I put mine down?"
"Am I a small child? I won't do that."
"Really? After all, you are quite childish."
"Doesn't matter. End it. You can win the game too."
After having said all that, none of them had stopped elbowing each other.
"Hey! I thought you said you would stop." Shinya said, using his other elbow to shield himself as he kept elbowing Guren.
"You said that too." Guren countered.
"Well, but Guren said it first~", Shinya moved onto his knees, elbowing Guren constantly.
Shinya towered over Guren as he leaned back to avoid his attacks, the game forgotten. Guren was now on the defensive, using both his hands to stop Shinya's elbows. Shinya moved closer and closer to Guren, who leaned further back.
"Enough now, sto-", Guren's voice faltered as he fell on his back, taking Shinya who was clashing elbows with him, down too.
Shinya fell directly on top of Guren, his hands pressed by his own weight on Guren's chest. He felt Guren's heartbeat tingle at the tip of his fingers, his palm outstretched directly above his heart.
Shinya fell silent, Guren's scent invaded his senses as he looked down on the Guren laid on the floor, his hair tousled, the dark specks in his purple eyes clearer than ever. Shinya's hands itched to run over Guren's chest, to feel more of his heartbeat, but then he realised with a chill how wrong it would look.
A light pink dusted Guren's cheeks, his eyes blown wide. Looking at Shinya from such a close distance, he realised how blue his eyes truly were. It made him breathless, or was it just Shinya's weight on his chest? He ignored that question and continued staring at him.
"Are you falling in love by any chance?" Shinya's eyes twinkled with mirth.
"Hah, shut up." Guren snapped out of his trance and brushed his hair back with his fingers. "Get off me."
"Say sorry first~" Shinya pressed harder on Guren's chest.
"Ahh! So troublesome." Guren tried pushing Shinya off, but that devil refused to move. "Why should I apologize for something you started?"
"You keep blaming me for something I did accidentally. I rightfully deserve an apology."
"Never."
"Gure-en~ I don't mind sleeping like this for the whole night." Shinya grinned.
"Y-you!" Guren stammered, trying to kick off Shinya.
"Am I missing out on something?" Goshi had woken up from all the commotion and decided teased the duo on the floor first.
Guren and Shinya looked at Goshi, and then at the game they had abandoned, and then at each other.
"Idiot!"
"You fell into the trap!"
Quickly jumping to his feet, Shinya grabbed his gaming console and bombed Guren, who had bombed him at the same exact time.
The game ended with a draw.
The fifth time had been when Shinya died.
The standoff with Mahiru continued in the basement of the laboratory where the taboo was supposed to be touched. The world was supposed to end.
Mahiru, her power now surpassing those of vampires, singlehandedly took down the squad's whole formation. Shigure's ribs were broken badly, the demon's regenerative powers struggling to heal them.
"Guren, Am I supposed to wait till your friends heal?" Mahiru stood casually, as if she hadn't almost killed everyone in the room. "How can you expect to catch up with the rabbit with such weak friends? Give them up."
"No." Guren replied.
"Then to save your friends, you must kill me."
"No."
Mahiru laughed. "It is impossible to have us all, Guren! To catch up with the fast rabbit, the turtle must throw away something. Then, do it."
Guren was silent. "......I cannot do it, Mahiru. There is no reason left to live if I do so."
Mahiru eyes were completely red, "What is the meaning of life? Guren, what is the meaning of life?"
What was the meaning of life, Guren thought about it. All that he has strived for till now was to protect his loved ones, but his father had been killed and his childhood love was far too gone, so what is exactly the meaning of his life.
By his side, Shinya said. "All of us have healed, Guren. Let's use the Senshin formation."
The Senshin formation involved all the squad members to attack the enemy, leaving the last person to find the gap and defeat the enemy effectively. It was a strategy used solely to win, and without sacrifices it was impossible to defeat Mahiru.
"That's a good choice. Shinya always chooses the right path." Mahiru said.
Shinya, his half lidded eyes on Mahiru, icily laughed, "I know that suggestion is correct, but Guren is a fool and so he would not allow it at all."
"......."
"You are overwhelmed. To his stupid choice, you are embarrassed."
"......."
"Acknowledge it, Mahiru. You have not choosen, do not try to go both ways. The right road, Guren has chosen properly."
To that, Mahiru replied, ".....So you said that you had chosen well? Shinya?"
"Yep. I chose Guren. Do you think it's stupid? Laugh. You can laugh."
"......."
"But, am I envious of you? No."
"......well."
"It is not too late yet. Not yet. Christmas is not over. The right path, is to accept your weakness-" Shinya stopped.
It all happened in an instant. Mahiru moved too quickly, her arms piercing through Shinya's chest.
"Shut up, Shinya." Mahiru whispered, Shinya heard it clearly.
Shinya spat out blood, lots of it. Pain engulfed his body and he was left hanging on Mahiru's arm going through his chest.
"Shinya!" Guren shouted, his sword frantically trying to cut down Mahiru's arm.
Mahiru simply dodged his attack. She pushed her arm more into Shinya, swinging him around.
"Mahiru! Stop it!"
"Guren." Mahiru crazily smiled.
"Please stop, Mahiru!"
Mahiru did not stop. Shinya's body slouched over Mahiru, blood flowing like a river from the hole in his chest, his limbs twitching in pain. Guren couldn't bear to see it.
Guren lost his mind.
In his mind, he shouted, "Noya! Give me power to save my friends! Please!"
"Then, accept all of me." Came back Noya's voice.
Before Guren could move, or even think, Mahiru moved. Shinya was abandoned, bleeding on the floor while she tore apart the necks of Sayuri, Shigure, Mito and Goshi.
Guren watched it all happen, frozen to the spot. He screamed, his demon taking over him. It was over, the apocalypse was inevitable, he had led his friends to their deaths.
It would not be wrong to let go, to lose control, to give in to his demon, now that nothing mattered anymore.
The curse engulfed him. Anger, hatred, grief, nothing but negative emotions surrounded him. His heart, body, everything, taken over by the demon.
Just then, Guren heard his friend's voice.
"Ha.. ha.." Shinya panted heavily.
"Shinya!" Guren was snapped out of his madness.
He ran, he ran to where Shinya lay, hugging his body and pressing down on the wound to stop the bleeding.
"I can still help you!"
Guren pressed down, he pressed desperately trying to stop the bleeding, but it would not stop.
"Stop, stop, stop!"
The blood did not stop.
"Please stop! I beg of you!" Guren shouted.
Shinya spat out blood.
"Ah, damn it..."
"With this, it's game over, isn't it?"
"Don't talk! You need all your power to cure!"
"Guren....."
"Shut up!"
"...Guren, please listen."
"Shut up!!"
Guren kept watching the hole in Shinya's chest. It did not get better with time, infact, it did not heal at all. The wound got worse, and Shinya's pale face got paler.
Shinya looked down to the hole in his chest. "... I will die."
"No."
"...I am dying."
"No!!"
"...But.....it was fun. You, meeting you and the rest. Games and....."
"Just shut up!" Guren's voice was hoarse, his eyes bloodshot. Tears would not stop coming out of them, but to them, Guren paid no notice. Shinya, he just saw Shinya in this moment. The injured Shinya that he cannot do anything to save, he was helpless, so pitiful.
He was still powerless to save his loved ones in the end.
Shinya carried on, as if he heard nothing. Smiling, as if the hole on his chest surmounted to nothing. As if he was having fun right now.
".....The meaning of life, that was it. Meeting you. So, without running away, and as sweet as it is, I will die. This, can we consider it my win?"
"Live and win together. Wasn’t that what you promised?" Guren almost screamed.
Shinya looked up at Guren, placing a finger on his cheek.
".....Ah....ah. Yeah. So Guren. Don’t cry."
A tear slipped down Guren's face, breaking at the finger Shinya had placed on his cheek.
"It feels nice. In your arms. Dying like this is not bad." Shinya smiled.
Guren's shoulders shook, the tears were unstoppable now. He was weak, incredibly so. He hated it, he couldn't help it.
"Shinya..."
"....Guren."
"....don't leave me alone."
Shinya looked away, his eyes welling up. A tight smile on his face, he could only ever smile.
"Shinya."
"... I'm sorry..."
Guren hugged Shinya, his head resting on his shoulder. Only at one's deathbed do people realise a lot of things. Guren realised he could not do without Shinya at all. Shinya, he needed him, he needed him for himself, not in the way he has ever needed anyone else.
Shinya could feel Guren's heartbeat once again, and for the last time ever. It was how he loved it the most. A soft lullaby, lulling him to sleep, assuring him that everything is fine.
He thought of all the times he's had the chance to cherish Guren's heartbeat, and all the times he almost did. This time would be his most precious one.
His eyes closed, his breathing slowed.
And then it stopped.
"Shinya!" Guren sat up.
"Shinya!!"
No response.
"Shinya!!"
Guren cupped Shinya's face in his hands, with the gentlest touch, as if he were a glass doll.
"Shinya, please!"
"Shinya!!" Guren shouted towards the heavens. "Someone, anyone.. please!" He cried.
Shinya had died, just like that.
Guren was left all alone.
It's been months since the world had ended. Guren was the one who had done it, shouldering the sin of touching the taboo of resurrection. Driven to madness by the death of his friends, his family, he did it. He ended the world in exchange for their lives.
Fortunately, not all of the humanity had perished. The Imperial Demon had infected all those they could with demon blood under Kureto's orders. Now only those adults, and all the kids under thirteen remained alive.
The base had been cut off from all means of transportation, communication and electricity. There was a huge shortage of manpower too. With the monsters of the apocalypse surrounding them from all corners, there was no choice but to train the small children to survive.
The littlest of the kids were made to learn sorcery, master weapons and fight monsters. Many of them would die, but none of them would give up. Not when they had a leader like Kureto. He would deliver a powerful and emotional speech everyday, aweing the kids. Claiming that there was no God, and it was upon themselves to join hands and save humanity, it was nothing less than a cult.
Tired of Kureto's same speech everyday, and even more annoyed that he made him join his stupid act, Guren walked away from the assembly area. Kids all looked up to him in silent wonder as he walked. He had been teaching them swordsmanship whenever he was free from his duties at the east wall.
The kids were always full of praises for Guren. They would gush about how he was so brilliant with his sword, how brave he was while cutting down monsters and how he was absolutely patient with them. It was a pity half of these kids couldn't get to live to see the next year, or even the next month. The pyres would be everburning.
"Yah, Guren!"
Shinya was standing there.
He pointed an accusing finger at Guren, "I saw you earlier. With your fist up in the air, playing hero in front of the children. Aren't you so cool!"
"You making fun of me?"
"Of course." Shinya grinned.
"Then shut up." Guren tried to kick him.
"Missed me!" Shinya laughed as he dodged his kick.
"Talk shit, get hit!" Guren lunged at him.
"Ahahaha, you can never catch me." Shinya dodged his attack.
Despite being so truly annoying, Guren never felt uneasy with Shinya. Shinya was the fleeting moments of joy in his life, the life that was dreadful from the moment it began. Guren knew that Shinya knew what exactly he was thinking, but that was never a reason for Guren to shy away from him.
Shinya was like an avid reader, and Guren was willing to be an open book for him.
"Anyway," Guren changed the topic, "I thought you weren't coming today."
"I wasn't." Shinya nodded. "Kureto's been giving the same speech everyday. Once more, with feeling: We are the Japanese Imperial Demon Army!" He mimicked.
"You've got to hand it to him, he's been giving the same speech so many times."
"It's really not the same. His delivery has gotten much better than the last time."
"Is that so?" Guren quirked an eyebrow.
"You probably haven't noticed since you've been here everyday, but yeah, it's improved. I bet he secretly goes home and practices every night." Shinya snickered.
The sight of Kureto mulling over his voice modulation, his posture and the timing of his movements was truly funny in Guren's head.
"Definitely!" Guren laughed.
"Right, my brother's so serious."
"He even did it to me. You should've seen the smug look on his face when he said, 'Welcome to the Japanese Imperial Demon Army, Guren!' How much you wanna bet he even practiced that—"
Shinya burst out laughing even before Guren could finish.
Seeing his face, Guren couldn't help but laugh as well.
It felt nice seeing him laugh. He felt relieved. It made him feel like he did the right thing choosing to resurrect him, and the others. The guilt he felt lessened, but immediately became tenfold once he realised his presumptuous thoughts.
Guren was reminded of the smell of the burning pyres, the ones he was responsible for.
He glanced at Shinya's smiling face. For a passing moment, he felt he could be forgiven. He let out a sigh.
"What are you sighing for?"
Guren pointed towards the pyres. "It's the smell of the burning bodies."
Shinya's gaze turned towards the huge fires. The red flames lit up his icy blue eyes with an orangish tinge, and Guren didn't like that. He couldn't decipher the emotions hidden in them. Shinya was looking at the fires in the distance, but he was not really looking at them.
"You get used to something like this eventually, when you see it everyday."
"I don't."
"Fine. You never get used to it." Shinya faced Guren.
"Pick one!" Guren retorted.
Shinya just shrugged his shoulders and smiled sadly. He was quiet for a moment, before his usual smile returned.
They walked together to the parking lot in silence. Shinya seemed preoccupied with something on his mind after talking about the dead. Knowing his past, Guren could guess what he was thinking about, but he dare not mention.
"How did you get here?" Shinya asked, mounting a dirt bike.
"In Kureto's car."
"Want a ride?"
"Sure." Guren replied, climbing onto the back of the bike.
Shinya started the engine, "Alright, let's go. Hold on tight." Shinya smirked.
"Shut up."
And they were off into the night.
Wind racing through the hair, there was no need to wear a helmet, now that the police didn't exist. The night was chilly and Guren almost shivered. All around them, the roads were littered with rubble and dead bodies. The full moon high above in the sky, being the only thing untouched by the apocalypse, it shined ever so brilliantly.
The moon shone on Shinya's silver hair, making it even more silver. Guren almost reached up to touch them, then realised his arms were around Shinya's torso, still remaining there even when he knew Shinya was joking with his words.
The last time both of them had been in this position, things were entirely different. Different situations, different emotions... they had been different people altogether. The Guren back then only saw Shinya as a hindrance to his plans. The Guren now, willingly ended the world to save him.
Guren felt the heat coming off Shinya's back. It was a welcome reminder that he was alive.
Guren increased the demon's strength slightly and strained his ears. He could hear Shinya's blood pumping and his heart beating beneath the sound of the rushing wind. Again, Guren felt as if he had done the right thing in bringing Shinya back.
Even at the cost of the whole world.
Guren listened to Shinya's heartbeat as he watched the ruins speed past.
Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Shinya's heart thumped out a steady rhythm. It seemed to be faster than Guren's own. Guren thought it was because Shinya was the one driving.
Guren counted the heartbeats. It had been fifty since he had started. Fifty one, fifty two... he wondered how many heartbeats ten years would be.
To Shinya, Guren was eerily silent. He could feel him wrapped around himself. The last time they had rode a bike, Shinya had to speed up deliberately to get Guren to hold him. This time, there was no need. Guren was already hugging him in a way that made his heartbeat quicken.
Ever since the world had ended, Guren had changed a lot. He would smile less, talk even lesser. He would hide things from the squad, and even lie at times, even when he knew Shinya knew that he was lying. At times, he would space out, sighing or just talking to himself.
Shinya wished nothing more than to take Guren's burden and make it his own.
The bike passed over a bridge. The wind changed, Guren could hear the small ripples of water below. The water had turned acidic after the apocalypse, but the moon reflecting off it made even the toxic water look like heavenly nectar.
Shinya suddenly parked the bike to a side, the one looking over the moon. Guren released Shinya, his counting reached who knows till what.
"Why did we stop here?" Guren asked.
"Get off first." Shinya nodded for Guren to dismount as he himself dismounted the bike.
Leaning against the bike, Shinya folded his arms, looking onto the river lit by the moonlight. It was as if someone had mixed glitter into the water.
Guren mimicked him, his elbow resting on the bike's seat. Taking in the fresh breeze, he closed his eyes and relaxed his shoulders. He looked over at Shinya. Shinya's hair matched the color of the water, his eyes shone like the stars in the sky.
Guren was mesmerized.
Shinya saw Guren staring at him. He laughed. "It's very peaceful here."
"Yeah." Guren replied, starstruck, only focused on Shinya, and his merry laughter.
They stood in silence, taking comfort in each other's presence.
"Guren."
"Yeah."
"The moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?"
Guren opened his mouth to say another "yeah", but stopped midway as he slowly registered what Shinya had said. He looked at Shinya with wide eyes. Shinya was staring right back at him, his eyes sparkling. The moon he mentioned was up above them, feeling a bit lonely, like a third wheeler.
"....."
Shinya smiled. The smile was akin to his usual one, but to Guren it was the rarest, remarkable enough to be one of the wonders of the world, etched in his memories forever.
Guren shook his head, scoffing away the flush on his face, and not being quite successful at that.
"The moon is up there, idiot." Guren couldn't help but smile.
"Yeah, I know." Shinya didn't take his eyes off him.
Shinya unconsciously moved closer to Guren, his eyes flickering between Guren's deep purple eyes and his chapped lips. Guren mimicked him, as if he were in a trance. Shinya's lips looked soft. There was no harm in tasting them, he decided.
Under the moonlight, they kissed each other for the first time.
Shinya's lips were incredibly soft against Guren's dry ones. Guren's hand automatically rested on Shinya's waist, as Shinya put his around Guren's neck. They kissed sweetly, ever so gently, treading carefully on their newfound romance.
It was as if everything had clicked in place for Guren. To think of it, Shinya had always been the reason for Guren to move forward. Whatever Guren did, it was to keep Shinya alive. The whole world had only ever berated him, for anything and everything. It was only Shinya, who never looked at him like he were below him, who had looked him in the eye and said he fully trusted him.
Guren was suddenly reminded of what Shinya had told him when he had died. "The meaning of life, that was it. Meeting you." Even though Shinya wouldn't remember it, Guren was sure he still felt the same, if not before, he was pretty damn sure after today.
Shinya was the best thing that had happened to him, and he couldn't believe he was kissing him right now.
Both of them broke for air, foreheads resting against each other's, breathing heavily as Shinya nervously laughed.
Guren's hand moved to Shinya's hair, brushing away a stray strand coming between them. Shinya's breath hitched, and Guren noticed, finding these new reactions of his rather interesting, even cute.
Guren got a mischievous idea. He suddenly tightened his grip around Shinya's waist, pressing him closer to himself. Shinya gasped, hitting Guren's chest.
"You tease. I can still beat you up like the first day we met." Shinya said.
"That was only because I didn't defend myself that time."
"Oh yeah? You wanna go?" Shinya raised a fist playfully.
"Shut up." Guren laughed.
Guren captured Shinya's lips into a second kiss before he could say anything more.
And thus, they kissed for a second time under the moonlight.