Chapter Text
“What?” Richie’s eyebrows furrowed as he closed his bedroom door behind him, Eddie sitting on Richie’s bed.
Eddie swallowed. “I just.. I need to work on myself.. Y’know?”
“Um.. no I don’t know. Like.. I know it’s good to work on yourself and shit.. But can’t you work on yourself without doing this?”
“I just feel like it’s the best thing to do right now.”
“Do you feel like it’s the best thing to do right now, or your mom?” Richie dropped his backpack against the wall.
“Excuse me?” Eddie tried to hide a clearly hurt expression.
“Oh c’mon Eddie. Every single decision you make is based on what your mom wants for you. ‘My mom would have an aneurysm. Oh, i can’t go tonight because my mom wants me to watch the muppets movie with her.’ is this just something your mom told you to do?”
“What the fuck Richie? Of course it isn’t. She hardly knows what kind of relationship we have in the first place. I wouldn’t do this just because she told me to.”
“Sure.” Richie broke the already flimsy eye contact they had and stared out the window. “So you really don’t want to be with me anymore?” Richie was about to kill himself for tearing up.
“I never said that.”
“You literally said those exact words like five seconds ago.” Richie turned back to give Eddie a confused (and angry) glance.
“No I didn’t…. Ok.. I did but that’s not what I mean. I just want a break. Like.. a pause. I still like you Richie… you know that.” Eddie almost whispered the last part.
“Yeah.. ‘course I do.” Richie stared at his socks.
“I just need to work on myself for a bit.. And figure things out.. And then we can talk about.. Unpausing.”
Richie knew he should’ve dropped it a while ago but he was ready to say ‘I love you’ like weeks ago but now Eddie wants a pause? “Unpausing? Eddie..” Richie’s eyes were red from holding back tears. He stared into Eddie’s matching wet eyes. “I didn’t think this was just some movie we could pause and unpause as we please. I just don’t get why you can’t work on yourself without breaking up with me.”
“I’m not breaking up with you Richie. I’m… you know what I mean. Why are you making this so hard?”
“If it’s so hard, then why the fuck are you doing it?”
“Because…”
“Because what?” Richie was a little to the left of yelling.
“Because I just have to, ok?”
They stared at each other for a little too long. Richie shook his head in disappointment, using everything he had not to cry right now. “Y’know what? Fine. you wanna ‘pause’ this? Fine. you wanna do whatever you’re saying you have to do all alone? Fucking do it alone then.”
“Rich-”
“No, I’m talking. Eddie.. You’ve spent every day of this relationship with one foot out the door. You let go of my hand even when the person walking toward us on the sidewalk has a guide dog. You swear to your mom that we don’t kiss, and that we don’t touch each other. And I…” Richie felt tears escaping. “I know it’s hard for you. I know your mom doesn’t support this. I know it’s scary being with me. But I thought having me there for you was at least ‘good enough’. I guess I was wrong. I just.. I thought what we had was better than worrying about what people thought. But obviously one look from across the street is enough to make you break up with me for no fucking reason.”
Eddie didn’t realize he was crying.
“You wanna work on yourself? Go work on yourself Eddie.” Richie opened the door and stepped back for Eddie to leave.
Eddie was sobbing at this point. “Richie please.”
“Please what? This is what you want right? You wanna forget about everything we had and go do everything on your own? Go on.” Eddie just stared at Richie, both of them crying so hard they couldn’t see. “FUCKING GO EDDIE.” Richie regretting yelling the second the words came out of his mouth.
Eddie grabbed his bag, wiping tears from his cheek with his sleeve, and stormed out the door and down the stairs. He burst out the front door and biked away as fast as he could.
Richie slammed his bedroom door and slid down it, tears running down his cheeks. “FUCK.”