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It was during their second year when he noticed it. Just as his crush began to take root and he would spend most of his time sparing longing glances at his teammate. In the hallways people would always duck away from Kyoutani, send him weak glares, or share nervous glances whenever he was in their line of sight.
Sure, it wasn't hard to be nervous at the sight of Kyoutani. Yahaba has to admit, he's a pretty intimidating guy, but that's only from first glance. If anything, he's ten times more intimidating than Kyoutani could ever be. He'd watched Kyoutani pout and sulk over a puppy for god sake!
Still, a month into their tentative friendship, Yahaba doesn't understand exactly why these people stay away from Kyoutani like he's the plague.
“Haven't you noticed?” Watari asks him one day during a study session, his cheeks stuffed with food. “Kyoutani is kind of clumsy.”
Yahaba sits up taller, his attention being ripped away from geometry homework. “Wait, really?”
“I only started paying attention the other day,” he says, nodding to himself as he talks, “when we were going back into the changing rooms he walked straight into the doorframe, face first, he wasn't even looking somewhere else. Just right into the door.”
It's weird to think about it, especially when the image is swiftly followed by a flutter in his chest. Damn his feelings. “I haven’t seen him do anything like that before.” Which really, is quite shocking, considering the fact he can remember almost every detail of Kyoutani’s face after staring at it for so long.
God, he fucking hates that guy.
He must have pulled some sort of face, since Watari spares him a concerned glance. “What’re you thinking about over there?”
“Oh nothing, nothing.” He waves his hand around in a hopefully dismissive way, and turns his attention back to his homework. Hopefully then he can stop thinking about his problematic teammate, and halt the process of his puppy crush turning into a full-blown ‘I will kill for you if I must’ kind of crush.
They were the crushes that never ended well.
Watari hums quietly, definitely suspicious of what's going on in his brain. “Just next time you see him, pay attention.”
Oh if only Watari knew.
But the next day, when they all gather to eat lunch, Yahaba does pay even more attention. Kyoutani painted his nails again last night, a dark shade of lavender that he thinks really suits him. There's tiny gemstones on the corners of his pinky nails.
“What the hell are you staring at?” Kyoutani grunts at him, biting into his food and tearing it apart like the animal he is.
Yahaba really doesn't have any other way to describe his reason for his response other than: boy pretty, he panic.
“Fuck off.”
Even if it's a normal exchange between the pair of them, Kyoutani still looks a little ruffled by his response. “Fuck you.”
Watari sighs and slumps over his disgusting box of salad, “guys please.”
Yahaba sends him a glare, “shut up, whore.”
There’s a meaningful look shared between them and suddenly, Yahaba remembers exactly what the purpose of this lunch is. He slides his empty carton of juice, and the wrapper from his sandwich over to Kyoutani. “Throw these away, would you?”
The blond blinks slowly, brows furrowing together like he wants to say something. Instead, he grabs the carton and the wrapper, rising out of his seat. “You owe me for this.”
Honestly, if he was less shocked about Kyoutani throwing his things away without complaint, Yahaba would tell him to fuck off again.
He leans his cheek in one hand, watching as Kyoutani meanders to the front of the classroom. Meanders is the wrong word really; as his foot catches in the strap of a bag, he knocks into one of his classmates, and once he's free of that he bangs his hip against one of the desks, causing it to screech loudly when it drags across the floor.
Surprisingly enough, his classmates don't look too bothered by the event. They barely give Kyoutani a glance when he stands on a pencil lying in the middle of the floor, tripping and sending the pencil rolling across the room. The only reason his trip back is uneventful is because everyone has made sure to leave a clear path for him to walk through.
Absolutely astounded, Yahaba turns wide eyes to Watari, who nods as if to say, see? I told you.
When Kyoutani drops back down into his chair, Yahaba can only clear his throat and offer a weak, “thanks.”
➷
Ever since that one day, Kyoutani's complete inability to avoid accidents had become glaringly obvious to Yahaba. On the court, Kyoutani is coordinated, not exactly controlled, but terrifyingly powerful.
Off the court, he could not be any more of a bumbling fool.
Like when they walk home together, any upturned paving stone can and will find its way to Kyoutani, sending him stumbling forward. One time being so engrossed in absolutely nothing that he walks straight into a lamppost, despite Yahaba’s multiple warnings. Even that one time he trips over physically nothing, not even his own foot. And Yahaba should know, because he had his eyes on Kyoutani the whole time.
As much as he hates to admit it, the sight is adorable. The logical, slightly crueler part of Yahaba’s brain is telling him to stop, it will only end badly the more he lets the crush thrive. However, the other side, where life is filled with holding Kyoutani’s hand and keeping him steady as he trips over his own feet, tells him to ignore what he's telling himself.
So basically, Yahaba’s a mess.
It's both better, yet worse at the same time. Being in their third year now, and the three of them having spent December through to September bonding, they're much closer.
They're still antagonistic to each other. That can't be helped when one is a socially awkward, slightly emotionally stunted bastard and the other is so hopelessly gone for said bastard he can't help but make an ass of himself. Poor Watari, stuck in the middle of them. If Yahaba wasn't so annoyed with himself, he would feel bad for his best friend.
Seriously though, how is Yahaba not meant to pine for Kyoutani when he sees him talk to animals with a soft voice, quietly apologise to any inanimate object he bumps into, and poke his tongue out while painting his and Yahaba’s nails because he's concentrating so hard.
Really, he should be congratulated for not completely melting at the thought of his teammate.
Oh, if Oikawa could see him now, he would probably scold him for falling for the charms of the spiker. But then Yahaba could call him out on his hypocrisy for being hopelessly in love with Iwaizumi.
He's brought out of his thoughts by a bump to his shoulder. That's also another thing: Kyoutani walks into people a lot. It's like people's shoulders are magnetically drawn to his.
Yahaba assumes this is the reason why people stay far away from Kyoutani. Every other person will be clipped by his shoulder, and they will take one look at him before deciding he's terrifying or an asshole. Even when Kyoutani is aware it happens and tries to swerve out of the way, someone else manages to pass by on his other side. They, instead, will be pushed aside by the blond’s deadly shoulder attack.
It's at that point he decides to stick to one side of Kyoutani whenever they're together. He makes sure Watari goes to his other side, and the two of them take the bumps while Kyoutani bounces between them like a pinball.
That plan seems to work seamlessly, and when they flank him, Kyoutani’s shoulders slump with relief every time.
They don't bring it up until their next study session turned sleepover, when the books have been packed away and the edges of their thoughts are fuzzed with exhaustion.
“Did you know that you're really clumsy?” Yahaba asks, wrapped up in his thick comforter. The warm weather is beginning to melt away, leaving brisk winds and a chilly Yahaba in its wake.
Somehow Kyoutani is wearing only shorts and a thin t-shirt, and he raises his head off the floor at the question. “What?”
Watari joins in, throwing a pillow at Yahaba's head. “Of course he knows he's clumsy, idiot. You can't not feel a little bit of pain whenever you hit something.”
He flips up his middle finger in return.
Kyoutani makes a vague nodding motion before his head falls back against the floor with a thump. “Yes I know I'm clumsy, and I also know what you've been doing.”
“What have we been doing? We haven't done anything,” Yahaba jolts, gripping the edges of his comforter until his knuckles turn white. He's got no idea why it makes him so jumpy, friends do things for each other. That's all he's doing, being a good friend.
“Shut up, asshole,” Kyoutani grumbles, sitting up and giving him a weak glare, “I'm trying to be nice here.”
“You're failing.”
He doesn't say anything else, just glances off to the side as a flush crawls up his cheeks. “I just– walking next to me. Thanks, for that..” The flush grows darker, and Yahaba almost gets up to kiss him like he deserves.
Luckily for him, Watari does it for him instead. Except the kiss is more of a bro hug with one arm thrown over his shoulders. “Don't worry about it, just tell us to stop if you ever get uncomfortable.” At Kyoutani’s nod, he winks and slides off to go back to his futon. “Great, now let's watch something.”
Yahaba lets himself space out during the crappy movie they put on, his gaze moving over to the denim jacket thrown over one of his bed posts. No matter what he's wearing, if the weather isn't too hot, Kyoutani will wear that jacket. It's covered almost entirely with pins and patches from bands that Yahaba has never heard of. Sometimes he'll hear Kyoutani humming a song, tapping out the beat against his thigh.
He stares at it a moment longer, briefly wonders just how warm the jacket is, how it would feel against his skin. A traitorous lump forms at the back of his throat, he swallows it down to the best of his abilities.
Kyoutani sits barely six feet away, completely unaware of what trouble he's causing him. Yahaba has the thought to throw something at him, just so they're sort of even.
➷
The idea comes to him one early morning, after having spent the whole night studying. It's a little dumb, really, and there's a huge chance Kyoutani may hate it.
That morning, Yahaba turns up late to practice with dark smudges under his eyes and a smug grin. Kyoutani nudges him, his lips barely curling at the corners. “Now who's the one turning up late to practice?” A familiar heat crawls up his neck, and he crosses his arms, turning away from him with a huff.
“Shut up.”
Despite this, there's still a self accomplished smile that won't leave until he gets back home. It quickly returns though when he spots the badge sitting on the edge of his desk. The badge is only a simple little thing, an old one of his own, painted over in white to scribble on the words if I bump into you, I’m not mean, I'm just clumsy.
There's only a couple of weeks until Christmas, and for Yahaba who has no part time job, a badge is the perfect thing to give Kyoutani. He and Watari stopped giving each other gifts years ago, opting to trade whatever snacks their parents had bought them in the previous shopping trip.
Maybe he's over thinking it, but they're actually friends now, Yahaba does care about what Kyoutani thinks. He cared in the first place but most of that was hidden due to being in denial of his crush.
In the two upcoming weeks, Yahaba ignores any sirens that go off in his head. When the three of them gather together on Christmas Eve, he makes sure to come armed with the badge and a tin full of some weird-tasting, stick-looking things called twiglets.
For the twiglets, he gains two packets of milk bread and a drink just called green drink. The taste is as suspicious as its colour. Kyoutani is also given the same things, but he takes them with a much more skeptical and wary look.
Just as Yahaba's gaining the courage to hand over the badge, Kyoutani clears his throat and gingerly holds out two round objects in the cup of his hands. They clink together softly and Yahaba feels his cold, cruel (as Watari once described it) heart swell.
“Are those.. Maneki Neko?” He asks softly, totally entranced by the sheepish blush glowing high on Kyoutani’s cheeks, and the oh so gentle hold he's got on the figurines.
“My little sister likes to collect them, I uh.. went with her a week ago and bought these.” The flush grows darker, his fingers twitch around them.
Watari gasps excitedly, eyes lighting up at the sight of the Maneki Neko. “Kyoutani, that’s so sweet!” He accepts the one handed to him with a beam, a deep bronze one that glints when the light hits it.
Kyoutani glances over at him, worrying his lip between his teeth as he offers out the other one to him. “What? Do you not like it or something?” Yahaba can clearly tell he tries to hide his nerves under the gruff voice, but the slight wobble slips through.
He bumbles, momentarily embracing his Inner Kyoutani as he stumbles forward. “No no,” he takes the figurine offered to him, “I, ah, it's cute..”
“What?” Kyoutani's brows furrow, he takes a step back.
Just like that, his fight or flight response is activated. “Shut up, asshole.”
At this point, Kyoutani isn't perturbed by any weird behaviour Yahaba exhibits, and they slip into easy banter as they head towards KFC. He lets a smile stretch across his face, “suck my dick.”
“If anyone was going to be sucking dick, it would be you sucking mine.”
Snorting so hard he veers to the side, Kyoutani ends up bumping into him. “I'm sure you would love that, wouldn't you?"
Watari just shakes his head on the other side of Kyoutani. “You guys are disappointments.”
“Shut up, you love us.”
During their walk there, Yahaba slips the badge into his hand. He refuses to make eye contact, in fear that Kyoutani would hate it. There's a gentle nudge, elbow against elbow, that assures him it's the opposite.
➷
Everything changes after that point, not a lot of changes, but Yahaba is hyper-aware of them. The small, fleeting touches on his arm, his back, his shoulders, his pinkies. They are slowly driving him insane.
It also doesn't help that Kyoutani actually wears the badge of his jacket, and has rearranged some of his favourite badges to put it in the centre. The gesture feels incredibly sweet, and he's reminded of the puppy Kyoutani was so stubborn to part with.
Upon seeing it on their first day back, he'd grinned and slapped him on the back. “My pin was so amazing that you had to show off my handiwork to everyone, I'm flattered.” Kyoutani had elbowed him, not denying any claims.
Impending exams and university acceptance letters send him into a spiral, the only people keeping him sane being his two closest friends.
After their desperate fight to go to nationals, Kyoutani managed to catch the eye of a local university and the Sendai Frogs. With a guaranteed sports scholarship and a division two team wanting him playing for them, he's been on a smooth sail between Watari and Yahaba’s floundering.
“Fuck you Kyou,” Yahaba grouches, throwing his pen across the room and burying his face in his arms. “You and your stupid sports scholarship.”
“You're the one that told me to come here,” Kyoutani huffs, stretching out on Yahaba’s bed like he owns the damn thing, “don't start complaining now that I'm here.” He's got his arm folded behind his head, his other hand used to scroll through his phone. Cheeky bastard, looking all relaxed while he's hunched over his study notes like a crazy person.
God, what he wouldn't give to join him and steal his radiating heat while he falls asleep.
That is essentially all Yahaba thinks about when he isn't busy studying, even when he is studying. He practically drags himself through his exams, his only solace is being able to shit-talk the imbecilic questions he got asked during his exams.
The day he receives his acceptance letter for university, he's so happy he leaps onto the first person who happens to be near him. Kyoutani wheezes at the impact, but manages to keep them both steady and upright. Truly an astounding feat, considering his previous track record of not being able to even keep himself upright.
“I fucking did it!” He cheers, burying his face in Kyoutani’s shoulder. His arms and legs wrap around him, like a baby koala that won't let go.
“Are you going to let go?” Kyoutani asks, letting his arms dangle instead of supporting him. That's okay, Yahaba has the strength to hold himself up.
He tightens his grip, resting his chin on Kyoutani's shoulder. “No fuck you, I killed it in my exams, so you're going to carry me home.”
“I didn't sign up for this.” There's some grumbling, but other than that, Kyoutani peacefully carries him home. They get a few looks from random strangers on the main roads, but once they turn off down back lanes the walk becomes peaceful.
“You know.”
The sudden statement interrupting the silence startles him, and he rolls his chin so his cheek is squashed against Kyoutani's shoulder. “What do I know.”
For some reason, the following words surprise him. Maybe it's because the previous months had been so consumed with his stress over exams and applying for universities. Or maybe because they hadn’t acted very different around each other. No, it was definitely because he had drilled it into his head that it would never happen.
In the most obvious, straightforward tone, “I have a crush on you,” Kyoutani tells him. He says it like it's something Yahaba should have already known. Like it isn't one of the most nerve wracking things you could tell someone.
He unlatches from Kyoutani's back, landing heavily on his feet and stumbling back. “Wait a minute, whoa whoa whoa, slow down. You like me?” His voice hits a slightly hysterical pitch, his lips pulling into an uneasy grimace.
With a dusting of pink across his cheeks, Kyoutani turns on his heel and glances at the space just behind him. “Yes, I thought I made it obvious.”
“How?” He practically squeaks, his shoulders slump and his sleeves bunch up tightly in his fists.
Kyoutani opens his mouth, thinks for a moment before closing it again. He repeats the action a few more times before he glares and pouts like a child. “Shut up.”
“How would you expect me to know?” Yahaba can't help the low chuckle, taking a step forward to brush his fingers. His (possibly) new boyfriend huffs sulkily and knocks their knuckles together.
“I just thought you would know already,” he mumbles, and no, Yahaba had no idea.
“Okay, ignoring your dorkiness.” Yahaba laughs as a fist flies at him, and he ducks under it to jab Kyoutani in the side. “I do like you too by the way, as unromantic as this confession is.
Crossing his arms, Kyoutani scoffs. “You were the one that did that.”
“Well you shouldn't have jumped off me.”
“Well you shouldn't have said you had a crush on me out of the blue.”
It's like flowing into their old routine, they continue their bickering on their way to Yahaba's house. Except this time as they walk next to each other, they're so close that their shoulders brush and their hands slip into one another's.
➷
Bigger bitch
You still have the badge, dickface? <3
Bitch
[sent photo]
Asshole
Bigger bitch
Admit you love me you whore
Bitch
No