Work Text:
Ezra’s feet swung above the floor as he carefully wrote down the answer in the math book that lay open on the kitchen table in front of him. Twelve, remainder one. With five problems done, he set his pencil down so he could take a break. He slumped back in his chair, pulling his knees up to his chest and bracing his heels on the seat.
For a month now, he’d spent most days sitting at this table working either with his parents or on his own. After he’d been bitten, his parents had pulled him out of school, saying it was safer if he was homeschooled from now on.
That wasn’t the only thing that had changed. Just days after Ezra had come home, they’d moved. For now, they were renting a small apartment on the other side of the city until his parents could sell the old house and they could move farther away. Ezra wasn’t allowed to go outside alone anymore, and he could rarely go out in the daytime. He was starting to lose his taste for any regular food at all. Only blood could curb his hunger.
His parents never thought he was listening when they talked about it, but he always heard them. With his hearing now even better than it had been before, he couldn’t help it. They would talk late into the night about where they could go that was safe, how to handle the police officers asking questions about the report they’d abruptly withdrawn after he’d come home, how they could keep getting blood for him without anyone finding out. Every word made him feel more and more guilty. Their lives wouldn't be changing so much if he hadn’t been bitten in the first place.
Tears pricked at Ezra’s eyes as he hugged his knees even closer to his chest. He’d never done well with things changing, and now it was everything at once.
Stifling a sob, Ezra bit down on his lower lip only to cry out as one of his fangs pierced the skin. He straightened up, rubbing his hands over his eyes. His fangs could be retracted, but he was still so bad at doing it. His parents told him he didn’t have to hide them in the house, but he hated the feeling of them in his mouth.
Ezra sniffled quietly as he pressed the heels of his hands over his eyes. He was so tired of crying. He’d been doing it so much in the past month, and it always made him feel empty afterwards. He just wanted to be able to focus on his schoolwork, or go play outside, like a normal kid. But it was early afternoon and the sun was high in the sky. His parents had assured him that sunlight wouldn’t kill him, but being out in it still hurt.
When he heard his mother’s familiar footsteps approaching the kitchen, Ezra wiped his eyes again, wanting to make sure all his tears were gone. If she knew he’d been crying, she would try to make it better, and that was just as likely to make him feel worse as it was to help. As his mother walked into the room, Ezra forced a smile onto his face and kicked his heels excitedly against his chair.
“Mom!” he said, pushing his workbook toward her. “Look!”
“Is that the fourth grade one already?” she asked as she leaned in to look at the book. Ezra nodded, his smile feeling more genuine by the second. He’d only been in third grade when he’d stopped going to school, and he knew his parents would be proud of him for working so far ahead. Thinking about it made him feel almost normal.
“We should have started homeschooling you years ago,” his mother said, gently ruffling his hair.
Ezra’s face fell, that moment of happiness being snuffed out as quickly as it had started. Seeing the change, his mother moved her hand to his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“I just meant I’m proud of you.”
“I wish I could still go to school,” Ezra said, shrugging her hand off of his shoulder.
“I know.” His mom sat down in the chair next to him, resting her hand on the table next to his. “I wish you could, too. It just –”
“It isn’t safe,” Ezra said. “I know.”
He stared blankly down at the workbook, not wanting to look at her, though he wasn’t sure why. He carefully chewed on the inside of his lower lip with his normal teeth, a question burning in the back of his mind that had been there since the day his father had told him he was being homeschooled from now on.
“Not safe for me, or for them?” he asked.
“It’s not safe for you.” His mother sounded sincere, but Ezra wasn’t sure he believed her. “I know you wouldn’t hurt anyone. But there are people who would hurt you if they knew what you are.”
“Why?!” Ezra asked, tears welling up in his eyes again. “I didn’t do anything wrong!”
He kicked viciously at the table leg, wincing as all he did was hurt his toes. It just wasn’t fair. He hadn’t asked for this to happen. All he’d done was try to get to school one morning and instead, his whole life had been torn apart.
“You didn’t,” his mother said. “Nothing that happened was your fault.”
Ezra scooted to the edge of the chair and pressed himself against his mom’s side, leaning his head against her shoulder. He closed his eyes for a second as he felt her hand on his head, gently stroking his hair. For just a moment, it felt like just a normal day, like nothing had happened.
But that moment ended too quickly, and Ezra was once again hit by the knowledge that it had happened. Everything was different now, all because that woman had followed him when he left the house that morning.
“Mom,” he said, a tremor in his voice. “What if I do hurt someone?”
“I don’t think you will, Ezra,” she said. “I know you don’t want to.”
“But what if I do?” Ezra asked. “Would – would you and Dad still love me if I bit someone?”
“Of course we would, neshama.” His mother’s arms slid around him, holding him tightly. “You’re our baby and we’ll always love you, no matter what you do.”
Ezra wiggled out of his mom’s embrace, hugging his arms around himself as he stared blankly down at the edge of the table.
“Ezra,” she said gently. “Where’s this coming from?”
Ezra shrugged.
“The person who bit me,” he said. “I never did anything to her. She just decided to bite me for no reason. What if I –” his voice shook as it broke off. “What if I do it, too? What if she did it because of what we are?”
“What you are doesn’t matter,” his mother said, her hand returning to his shoulder. He didn’t try to push her away this time. “Who you are does. She bit you because she wanted to hurt you. You don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“You don’t know that’s why she did it,” Ezra said. “She didn’t explain it. She barely talked to me before she – she…”
His voice broke off again. It had been two months now, and it was still so hard for him to say what had happened out loud.
“I’m scared.” Ezra’s voice was so quiet he could barely hear himself. “I don’t want this. I just want to be normal.”
“I know,” his mother said. “And I am so, so sorry that you can't. This never should have happened to you, Ezra.”
Silence fell as Ezra kicked his heels against the chair. He hated this. He hated it so much, and more than anything else, he hated the person who’d done this to him. Her face was burned into his mind, his voice echoing in his head, warning him not to scream. Whenever he tried to sleep, he could feel her fingers brushing across his face just before she sank her fangs into his neck.
“Why don’t we forget about school for now?” his mother asked, her voice jolting Ezra out of his thoughts as she closed his workbook. “We can watch a movie. Anything you want. Even PG-13.”
A tiny smile twitched across Ezra’s face even though he wasn’t actually feeling any better.
“Nothing with vampires in it.”
“No vampires,” his mother said. “Promise.”