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The first time Todoroki Touya kisses you, it’s when he shouldn’t.
You’re both nineteen, ready to take on the world for what it is. You’re just about to start professional medical training, while Touya is to continue dragon training. His father’s bloodline is one of blazing, fire breathing dragons, while his mother comes from a line of icy serpents. He didn’t like to speak about the past much, but from what you could conclude, his father forced his mother’s hand for “breeding purposes”. Just the thought made you sick.
As a result of watching his mother go through such pain, and being the eldest, Touya had made it his responsibility to relieve others’ pain. There’s nothing brighter than the spark in his eyes when he talks about creating a better world, one without the disgusting atrocities brought on by his father’s bloodline. He spoke of crafting a new world, with his own hands. Typical Capricorn.
“When you do become king, make sure you get me a spot as a palace medic.” You tell him, chuckling.
“Of course! You’re going to become the best medic in the land anyway, I’d be a fool to not employ you!”
It’s dark out now, and the two of you lay down beside one another, looking up at the stars after exchanging shy smiles. You love being with him like this. When you’re with him, silence is comfortable. Noise is comfortable. Just being is enough.
“What are you thinking about?” He asks, turning on his side so that he’s facing you. His bright, sea-green eyes search yours.
“Nothing really. Just the future.” At that, he scoffs playfully.
“As you always are. Can’t you just live here, in this moment? With me?”
Your breath catches, as it always does when he toes the line between friendship and the other kind of intimacy you wouldn’t dare to pursue with him. There’s just… too much holding you back. He’s the young dragon prince, all unblemished skin and fiery red locks. You’re just… you. And while that may be enough for him, it certainly isn’t enough for the future dragon king and his kingdom.
“I’m right here, Touya. All you have to do is tap my shoulder if you want my attention.” You roll your eyes playfully, but still remain on your back so he doesn’t get the wrong idea. With a lazy smile, he reaches out and taps your shoulder, scooting closer to you in the process.
“Can I have your attention?” He muses, shoulder pressed against yours. You don’t dare to turn around, scared he’ll be able to see the flustered expression on your face. You feel his breath on your cheek, warm in contrast to the cold autumn air. He lightly pokes your cheek.
“Well, Y/N? You gonna look at me or.. ?” He prods you to turn to him, and your stomach does somersaults. You know if you turn around, you’ll be stuck. You’re no fool. You’ve seen the way he looks at you, heard the way he talks to you. You’d have to be dense if you thought the countless picnics to watch the sunset didn’t mean anything.
His finger reaches out, and he traces the outline of your cheek, running it down to your neck, where he cups his hand to turn your head. He’s close, so close, his lips are just barely brushing yours. His mouth curls like he’s going to give you some smart remark, but he closes it in favor of just looking at you. His eyes are so warm, and you just know yours are the same.
“I love you.”
It’s like your stomach drops and your heart explodes at the same time.
“Touya… you know we can’t..”
“I won’t marry. My siblings can produce heirs. I just want you by my side.” He breathes, laying out a realistic, long term plan like the Capricorn he is. Your heart softens.
“Do you really think you could do that?” Your heart is overshadowed with doubt. You don’t believe him, not because he’s him, but because he’s only human. He’ll give into their demands eventually, and what will that leave you as? A heartbroken nothing, tossed aside by the dragon king who you loved so much.
“I know I can. I will.” And before you can protest, his lips press against yours, soft and reassuring, and you can’t help but melt into him.
-
The next time you and Touya meet, he’s dying. Perhaps not at a rapid pace, but his insides are slowly withering all the same. He’s the young dragon prince, all unblemished skin and fiery red locks, but he lays there in bed like the weight of his responsibilities is pressing down on his shoulders; like he’s Atlas, and he’s grown tired of holding up the sky. It’s ironic, that a being as powerful as the future dragon king is now stuck in the state he’s in.
You remember what he’d told you, of course. About his father, known for ruling with an iron fist over both, his kingdom and his family. You’d thought about it more than you could say, but it hurt your heart too much to linger on a pain you could not heal, so you compartmentalized it and went about your life. You had always had a feeling that allowing the feelings to fester would come in handy one day.
Which was why, when you had received word that the royal family was in need of your services as a medic, you were anything but surprised. You were quite skilled, and your success was well-known. You were far from the best, but you were valuable. Considering that the king and queen had gone through the top ten healers in the land already, it was only a matter of time before they consulted you.
Hearing about a prince consumed by the very flames he once wielded, however, was surprising.
Stepping into Touya’s room, your eyes fall upon his weak, sullen form immediately. Beads of sweat trickle down the sides of his head, his eyes sunken and jaundice overtaking his otherwise honey-colored skin. His aquamarine eyes shift towards you from beneath his fluttering, delicate lashes. Even in this state, he’s beautiful. You take a step closer when the smell hits you, causing your nose to wrinkle.
He seems to notice, because a sheepish, embarrassed expression overtakes his face.
“Sorry… my body tends to overheat and it makes me…” He looks down at his clothes, the sweat causing the cloth to cling to his burning skin.
“It’s okay.” You say, clipped and business-like, attempting to usher down the sheer warmth his voice alights in you. He looks up at you, and you swear his eyes are filled with the same mirth yours feel.
“I never thought our next meeting would be like this.” He quips, trying to ease the heaviness in the air.
You don’t know what to say, what you could even say. It’s been so long.. life had taken you in such different directions, you lost track of who stopped writing first, of who let go of the red string. You don’t know what to say, so, you offer a clipped, business-like response so that neither of you get too lost in your feelings.
“May I?” You gesture to his shirt.
“By all means, go on. I meant for you to see it one day anyways.” He teases as you unbutton him.
“Just know this is me on a bad day.”
Well… at least he’d prepared you.
You’d seen paintings of the royal family, depicting the dragon king Enji with his beautiful, sad-eyed wife and their four children. Touya had looked slim, yes, but healthy. The years had been good to him, from what you’d seen. He embodied the lighthearted giddiness that seemed to presently only exist in his eyes.
But now?
His ribs stick out at odd angles; his scales are fading, quickly. You wonder if he can even shift anymore. It seems as though his body has turned on itself, killing him from the inside out. You look up at him again, and now that you’re closer you can make out the dried blood on the corners of his mouth. Your pity must show on our face, because he tchs and reaches up to pat your head.
“It’s alright. I’ve accepted it.”
You want to raise a counterargument, but it dies in your throat.
“Just out of curiosity, how long do you think I have left?” He hums, staring at the ceiling. Your eyes meet his, and you manage to utter a few words.
“A few days, at best...”
He’s quiet when you say that. Both of you sit in silence.
“I’m sorry.”
You’re not sure who says it first; the lines between you and him are blurring the more you’re in each other’s presence. Your eyes are brimming with tears, and you can’t help but reach out to lay your hand atop his. You don’t know if it’s seeing him in such a weak state, or the little time he has left that makes you do it, but you abandon your concern and let the words rush out of you.
“I love you, Touya. I always will… these things happen.. I know you didn’t mean it, so please just-” Please just what? You couldn’t ask him to live. You couldn’t ask him for something he couldn’t give you.
“I love you too… Will you kiss me?” The way he asks is pitiful, but it’s Touya and he’s staring up at you with those teal orbs. You can’t help but lean in and press your lips to his heated ones, the small touch lighting up the fire in your stomach that had long since burnt out. His hand finds your waist, and he presses you closer, hand on your lower back.
“I love you.. God, I love you..” He whispers as you press kisses along his neck, his body instinctively leaning into your touch. It’s heated, it feels like flicking your fingertip over a lit candle.
You hold him through the night, and he doesn’t let you leave his embrace. No one disturbs you, and you chalk it up to them granting a dying man his wish.
“I’ll find you again.” He says.
“Even if I’m not here.. Next time around, I’ll find you again. I promise. Just wait for me… I’ll give you the life I promised I would.” His eyes shut slowly as sleep overtakes him, his arms pulling you closer to his burning body.
He doesn’t wake up.